For fun, we used to call her our little “angry child.”  Julia, our youngest of five children, often screamed in anger and frustration ever since she was born.  Having parented 4 kids through the infant and toddler stages, my wife and I thought it was just another unique personality trait of one of our kids.  Fast forward a few years after many frustrating, tantrum-filled, sleepless nights. It wasn’t a shock when we read the CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania) doctor’s diagnosis: Autism.  It only confirmed what we knew in our hearts.  Julia used to sing songs, count to 10, say her sisters’ names among other typical milestones.  Yet sometime around eighteen months old she began to lose her language altogether and drifted off into to her own mysterious world.

As a family we have lived through multiple kids with different personalities, teenage problems, marital challenges, and a life in ministry as senior pastor of a local church.  Our house has always been active (read “stressful”)! Still, God has been faithful.  Days when we feel we can’t get up and face the inevitable challenges that typical families never have to face, God gives us the strength to continue.

Autism has taken away many things we loved or expected like weekend camping trips, Superbowl parties or staying out later than 7:30PM. Julia’s siblings have lost many opportunities that they would otherwise normally have had with their friends.  As parents, we often feel guilty, exhausted, even hopeless.  As dad, mom, sisters and brother, we might gripe a little, but we rarely complain.  Sometimes we worry about the future.  It’s hard and scary, but we don’t wish for a different life.

I’m so proud of my kids. They constantly look for the good and celebrate Julia’s distinct laugh, her love of hugs, her courage and high-tolerance for pain. Everyday Julia faces challenges that I can’t even imagine facing.  Yet she is making great progress at a great school.  She makes eye-contact, she points, and is learning to use an iPad to communicate.  Julia has been resilient.

“Resilience,” the dictionary says, is the ability to recover or return to original form.  Our definition: the willingness to step up to the plate when your name is called, having the courage and intent to swing the bat no matter what the result.  It is the faith to get up today, to love people, do your best, trust God, fight selfishness, and to look for the joy that is there.  I am grateful that God has given me resilience today, because I know it hasn’t come from me.  We’ll see what happens tomorrow! Although, I trust that God will continue his generous response to a prayer I pray over Julia when I tuck her in at night: Behold, as your life was precious this day in my sight, so may my life be precious in the sight of the LORD, and may he deliver me out of all tribulation.” (1 Samuel 26:24 ESV)

Jason Blair is the pastor of Grace Bible Church in Souderton, PA. He is married to his high school sweetheart, Stacy, and they live in Telford, PA with their five children: LaRynn, Rachel, Hannah, Josiah, and Julia.Their family loves history, camping, and being goofy together.

Five years ago I entered the professional coaching world with Coach Val Hastings. It was a game changer.  He encouraged me and challenged me to continuously refine a vision for my work and my life. Setting goals is great, but it is so easy to get distracted. A great coach will help you to find focus and keep focused. That is what Val and others have done for me… and so much more.

If you are beginning to think about what you want to achieve in the coming years, I encourage you to reach out to find the kind of support you will surely need.   Explore the possibility of finding a coach.  Decide now to take your life and business to the next level and begin to partner with someone who can help you do that. Coaching will be a game changer for you too!

Action:   Identify two or three coaches in your community and request a complimentary coaching session where you are able to bring your own questions as well.

Reflection:   Use our guide to Choose the Right Coach for you!

My story of resilience unfolded for me this past year, 2011. This was a year very different that I or we had planned.  I’ve learned that unexpected things come up in our life and bring change; however, there is purpose in those things.  While it may not be immediately evident, it shapes our direction at times in ways that we would not have planned or can’t control.  It also opens the door in to new people and different experiences that wouldn’t have normally come into our lives.  I have learned new things about healing and restoration in that there is necessary pain that brings about healing.  I have come to understand the importance of time, patience and the rehabilitation that is necessary for recovery.  While practiced in the medical world it is still unknown in the church, a community that we gather with our wounded souls.

The beginning of last year was marked by personal anxiety and uncertainty with my health.  I suffered from a pancreatitis attack which led to a four day hospital stay.  However, when discharged, my MRI indicated that there was uncertainty and there wasn’t clear evidence that I had fully recovered.  There was cautious use of the “C” word even though there was no other supporting evidence for that.  In further consultation with my doctors it was their suggestion that I go downtown (Phila) to Jefferson Medical Center Pancreatic Center for an ultrasound test for greater clarity.  During the waiting period I struggled with thoughts “I didn’t want to go see Jesus.”  I had not fully lived the life I had anticipated.  However praise God, the doctors, after my procedure at Jefferson, could not find anything and gave me a good report and sent me home with good news.

Two days after Easter I fell off a 10’ roof while power-washing my house.  I unconsciously and unknowingly stepped off and fell onto our patio pavers and was found by a service worker working in my neighbor’s lawn.  Had a utility worker not heard me fall and immediately called 911, I might well have died right there.

I spent a week in the Trauma Unit at Lehigh Medical Center with 11 breaks in my ribs, a broken scapula, a brain injury, internal chest injury and damage to my fingers.  I was told that my recovery would take a year.  I had surgery repairs to my thumb, numerous out-patient follow-up visits to the doctors and medical staff at Lehigh Medical Center, 25 visits to Grand View Sports Rehab Medicine for therapy on my hands and fingers and massage therapy.  I was off work for about 10 weeks returning half days and a few days a week.

Larry & his wife Loretta on a recent trip to Puerto Rico

My mental awareness, memory and sense of reason began to slowly return as I struggled to pick up the pieces of my mental hard drive and tediously put the current and the past all back together in my mind.   I struggled with with “why” this happened.  There was no rhyme or reason; I didn’t trip or stumble, nothing hit me, nothing broke, nothing happened up there on the roof, I just fell.  Months later, I was working at that spot and in that moment realized what all happened and began weeping.  I’m not really sure where that flood of tears came from…very likely it was a deep sense of gratitude.

I felt a tremendous drive to get well, whole and healed.  I went back to work probably earlier than I should.  Later, I realized looking back that I was not a good as I thought I was on my return; however I needed to sit in my office chair and begin to fill in the missing pieces of my mental hard drive through conversation and doing.    I would tell my therapist to “hurt me” because I came to a new understanding that healing and restoration doesn’t come without pain.

I came to understand in a new way that life is unpredictable.  In an instant, people’s lives are radically changed and for many it is not what they had dreamed or envisioned.  I didn’t plan on this.  I needed to make room for this and have learned lessons in faith, trusting others, thankfulness and gratitude, patience, healing and restoration, the fruit of redemption that comes through pain and persistence, as well as many others.

It’s a miracle that I am alive today.  It is clear to me that God wants me here for another season, and for a unique purpose.  I have been given new insights and fresh language to share God’s transforming grace.   That grace is now deeply embedded in my life and it has changed me in many ways, some of which I don’t yet fully understand.

Larry Moyer has been a pastor since 1986 & has been serving as the pastor of Rockhill Mennonite Church for the past 9 years. Larry brings the “Transformational Culture of the Gospel” to ministry. He was an entrepreneurial businessman prior to becoming a pastor. Larry has been married to his wife, Loretta, for 43 years and they have 4 children and 7 grandchildren. He loves vacationing and spending time with this family.

“I had no idea whether my life would someday be relevant to anyone else’s.”

Those words were spoken at MIT’s 2008 Commencement by Muhammad Yunus, who has used his own creativity to design solutions to the problem of providing capital for small business owners in developing countries.

What is your unique purpose? When in your past have you already experienced it?

All human beings are packed with amazing potential. There are no exceptions. But many don’t know that each of us is carrying a wonderful gift within us. For most people, the gift remains unknown and unwrapped.

ACTION: List and briefly outline times in your life when you felt most fulfilled and aligned.

REFLECTION: What did you accomplish or represent during those special times that you are still proud of today?

ACTION: If you felt stuck considering the first ACTION response, sign up for a complementary coaching session. Begin to find clarity about your life’s purpose today! See the “Products” page for details.

Pakisa, we are deeply honored to share your story with our joint communities around the world!

Pakisa was born in Kajiji, Democratic Republic of Congo near the border of Angola. His father, a pastor, was Angolan by birth and his mother, Mama Makeka, was Angolan by descent. Pakisa attended primary school in Kajiji, a mission station, where he was taught by Mennonite Brethren missionaries who also ran the hospital, clinic, and church. He completed his secondary education in Kikwit, and then, with the help of missionaries and others was able to study at Pacific College in Fresno, California in preparation for medical school. In the summer of 1976 Pakisa and some friends were involved in a car crash on their way to Canada to attend a classmate’s wedding. This event changed Pakisa’s life. Rather than attending medical school in France that fall and then returning to Congo to serve his countrymen as a surgeon, he spent months in the hospital recovering from a broken neck and relearning all those things many of us take for granted.

Dr. Tshimika's autobiography

Since medical school was no longer an option, Pakisa chose another route: public health. In the mid- 1970’s, he attended Loma Linda University where he received his Master’s in Public Health then, in the late 1980’s, he returned to earn his Doctorate in Public Health from the same institution. Since that time, he has worked with both governmental and non-profit organizations which has given him the opportunity to travel around the world and meet people from all cultural backgrounds and walks of life. He has seen great joy and great grief. He has listened compassionately to other’s stories and taken time to share his own. Since the accident, Pakisa no longer has the ability to run, like the record-making soccer player he once was, but walks slowly, first with a cane and now with a walker. Ironically, this slow walk creates in others the desire to walk slowly alongside him and, in this way, take time to share their stories.

Although leading a seemingly charmed public life, Pakisa’s private life seems anything but charmed. He has lost seven of his nine siblings, both parents, and many of his friends and relatives, some to HIV/AIDS, some to violence, and some because basic health care was not available. As a result of the accident, his shoulder continues to give him great pain and his capacity to walk and stand is limited. People often wonder how Pakisa has been able to manage to move on in life with a smile in his face and yet he continues to live a life full of pain, suffering and losses. When asked, he will often tell you that it is because of loyal friends, family and his faith in a God who keeps His promises for those who have faith in Him. He would recount from time to time when he would go through another painful experience and his relief would come from friends from near and far away writing, calling, praying, and visiting in the hospital and in his home long past the immediate painful experience.  He lives in a global village and many of the friends he has met along the way continue to become the “Face and Heart of God” to him. They help him not to feel alone or carry any emotional or physical pain by himself. There is always anther shoulder to cry on for him.

His life and loyalties are often divided between two very different countries and cultures. Mama Makeka House of Hope, founded in 2003 in honor of his mother, along with his wife, Linda, his three children, and friends and relatives around the world provide him with stability and support.   Pakisa carries a profound vision, not only for a better Congo but for a compassionate and caring global community in which gifts are mutually welcomed and treasured, where the precious stories from all cultures and beliefs are heard… and where, like in Pakisa’s active life, there is always time  for one more person’s immediate concerns.

Find out more about Mama Makeka House of Hope online, Follow them on Twitter: @mmhhope or Friend them on Facebook

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-Discover your Strengths DNA
-Gain a greater understanding of your natural approach at work
-Develop powerful language for your personal branding message
-Get clear on what energizes, excites, and motivates you to do your best work
-Learn strategies to ensure your strengths are working for you – not against you
-Learn how to leverage your talent to achieve important goals
-Identify specific strategies for developing your talents into strengths

If you are interested in learning more about leveraging your strengths towards a more fulfilling and effective career, you will not want to miss this seminar!   The experience includes:

Schedule: Thursdays: Mach 29, April 5, 12 and 19th from 12:00 – 1:00pm EST.
Fee: $300 (Only $245 if you register before 3/8/2012!)
Class Size: Limited to twelve (12) participants
Class Value for the Participant: Your talents influence everything you do and every aspect of your life. Your talents affect your relationships, the way you go about solving problems, the way you think about things – even the needs that tug at your heart.

By discovering and maximizing your greatest talents, you are empowering yourself to achieve excellence … not just for you … but for your family, friends, and employer.

Won’t you join us!? 

“This is the real joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” – George Bernard Shaw

ACTION: Can you list three things in addition to your family that you care most about – to which you would commit the rest of your life?

REFLECTION: What are you tired of? What is it you are no longer whole-hearted about? How much of your average week are you spending on things you no longer care about?

ACTION: Say what you haven’t said! Do what you haven’t done!

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I did not try to become who I am today.  The health and wholeness I am experiencing and creating in life through my vocation is due to a process I started almost two years ago. Throughout this time I’ve tried to understand why I behaved in certain ways and why success and failure seemed to come into my life at extreme ends of the spectrum. Here is what I learned:

I am a sensitive person with a unique gift of connecting information, ideas and vision through rearticulating a shared desire of the future with leaders.  I started applying my gift in the most sacred place of my being which are the relationships in my life.  I confronted my fear of church and the religious history of my past that told me I was a sinful person and needed to be saved. I started going on spiritual retreats with my spouse and partner to find out what we really wanted from our marriage and why we were not living a life that was fulfilling.  I confronted my failures and realized there was much to learn from their stories.

In that process I uncovered a deeper desire to support my spouse in her career and developed a non-traditional way of caring for my daughter.  I started cooking tasty meals made from whole foods and specialty delights.  I started reading books that inspired my creativity and imagination.  I started connecting with people inside and outside of my local context who believed in me.  I started listening to where movement was happening, and I got involved.  I became a catalyst for collaborative efforts in my community for the common good of those outside of the centers of power.

I re-engaged in a degree program in leadership through an institution that allowed me to understand a historical narrative and design a path for a better future belief system. This led me to participate in a faith community connected with my family story.  As I began to unpack my family systems, I came to understand that I was contributing to an anxiety in ways that no longer fit my emerging identity.  This led me to confront fear with a new paradigm.

The story I had been telling for decades about being a failure was one that led me to an unhealthy actualization in my lowest point of life, at which I contemplated ending my life.

I imagine people who get to this low place in life and live to tell a story find a common bond around what emerges.  My great emergence put me in a place of conflict- conflict with both my old and emerging identity. I was misdiagnosed with a mental disability at an early age, and this diagnosis led me on a journey of retelling a story of hope.  Often I would give up and quit ventures, jobs and relationships because of the stories of failure I told myself.  I would quit without a plan for my next step.

Through this process of becoming aware of my own trauma, I found healing.  I attribute this power to a worldview where God is love and God is at work in creation, bringing about this love through the reconciling act of making right relationship with self and others.

Here is who helped me in this process:

• My spouse and a reconciled relationship lived on purpose
• Family of origin and a reconciled relationship with differentiation
• STAR Program at Eastern Mennonite University
• Eastern Mennonite Seminary Leadership Program
• Career/life mentoring through Customized Coaching
• Dozens of colleagues, and collaborators

And here are the results:

• I am wealthier, (in the holistic sense of the word) then I have ever been.
• I am completing a degree program in 2012
• I am a member of a local faith community at Salford Mennonite Church
• I serve networks collaboratively at a national level
• I am hired as a Consultant for my thought leadership
• I founded a marketing agency, MyOhai, in 2010 where I lead a team that engages clients on topics like branding, websites and communication management

Most importantly I let go of an identity that is no longer true so that a better story could emerge.

Scott Hackman is a creative catalyst for community and business leaders. His background in social entrepreneurship, community development and international development has given Scott a uniqueness now shared in the emerging markets of faith, society, culture and business.  Read his blog or Follow him on Twitter @scotthackman

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For some time, researchers have looked at what enables some people to endure suffering. But recently, the focus has shifted from looking only at how some people make it through to how people are able to go through adversity and actually come through it stronger than before.

One conclusion being reached is that adversity can lead to growth. In fact, it is now being suggested that the highest levels of growth cannot be achieved without adversity. It may be that somehow adversity leads to growth in a way that nothing else does.

If you could erase every failure, disappointment, and period of suffering, would that be a good idea? Would that allow you to become all that you could be? Is it possible that we actually need adversity and setbacks—maybe even crisis and trauma—to reach the fullest level of development and growth?

Hurricane Andrew had taught me a bit about this. In the storm’s immediate aftermath I was told (by disaster recovery workers) that although it might be hard to believe, our community (Homestead, FL) and its people could experience many dividends from this disaster. They were right! There are some permanent benefits from that storm 20 years ago.

So now I am personally navigating a challenging piece of life’s road that includes Parkinson’s Disease. Upon receiving the diagnosis some eight years ago, I lost the self-confidence and optimism that had characterized my life to that point. I became depressed as the sense of clarity and direction I had been enjoying slipped away. For several years I hung in the proverbial “dark night of the soul” vacillating between believing my productive life was over and the inclination to fight for it. Then, with the priceless support of my wife and several friends I have been able to declare that I’m not done. This has become an opportunity for me to focus my life’s “mission” and to shape my day-to-day activities around that purpose. I am making my life “count” in ways far beyond what I had previously experienced.

Especially when a dramatic turn throws us off balance, we benefit immensely from welcoming the supportive presence and input of others. In normal times, community blesses. In crisis, community saves. Perhaps there’s something about our mutual vulnerability that heals our hearts in a way that our strength never can.

When we experience a life-altering diagnosis, difficult job change or an ego-shattering divorce, we have a window ofopportunity to use it for personal growth and development. Actually, the wonderful and terrible thing about adversity is that we do not have to plan or program it. It just comes…and with Parkinson’s, it keeps coming.

Join us throughout 2012 as we publish the autobiographical stories of individuals who have had personal experience with adversity and have chosen not to waste it!
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“I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me – shapes and ideas so near to me, so natural to my way of being and thinking, that it hasn’t occurred to me to put them down.” – Georgia O’Keefe, artist

ACTION: Name an unexpressed dream or vision or image or thought that may nourish the well-being of your community. Celebrate your discovery and your unique contribution to the world with some good friends!

REFLECTION: How much clarity and confidence do you have about shaping your life around the place where what you love to do meets what you do well?

ACTION: Register for our StrengthsFinder seminar… or read Tom Rath’s book called “Strengths-Based Leadership” … or Ken Robinson’s “The Element”. Take notes and live into your strengths…!

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