Life in Reviews

Awe and Blah: Dad and Baja Sol

2013-06-18T23:16:00.000-05:00

Awe

Dad gets a special 65th birthday "Awe" shout-out. To the left is a picture of us in 1985 (or 1984?). Original fishing buddies.

For his birthday card, I drew him a picture of the photo.

Love you dad!

Blah

What: Baja Sol
Why: And now, to the opposite end of the awesome spectrum.

Henceforth, Baja Sol shall be known as:
Blah-ja Sol.

We received a mailed "buy one entree, get one 50% off" coupon from Baja Sol.

We thought we'd take advantage of it that very night.

We walked our hot-off-the-presses coupon right to Baja Sol and asked which entrees were valid with the coupon.

The response: "Oh, we don't honor those anymore."

Us: "That's strange; we just received it in the mail today. When did you stop?"

Baja Sol: "A few months ago."

Us: "Huh. That's bizarre. You might want to make a note about the coupon, since you'll probably get more people asking about it. Can you honor it since tonight since it was brand new?"

Baja Sol: "No, we can't."

We decided to eat there anyway since walking the 50 yards to Chipotle would be too difficult. This strange turn of events would potentially be forgivable if the food had been decent.

It wasn't.

Baja Sol is the Jaegermeister of the fast food Mexican industry: You know you're going to feel horrible after, and you know there are better options out there, and — frankly — it's kind of gross. But if someone already put it in front of you, well, whatever.

Never again, Blah-ja Sol. Never again.

Mendota Sparkling Water

2013-06-17T00:51:00.003-05:00

What: Mendota Sparkling Water
Rating: 9 (It'd be a 10 if I could get it to flow from my kitchen sink so I didn't have to waste plastic bottles.)
Non-Quantifiable Rating: I apologize to Elizabeth Barrett Browning for what is about to happen.

How do I love thee, Mendota Sparkling Water? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My non-wine, coffee, or soda-drinking soul can reach
For your fizzy bubbles and all-natural, delightful flavor
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Thirstiest need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as non-pregnant people strive for Diet Coke or Cabernet.
I love thee purely, as you're bottled in Minnesota, which is all local and adorable.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my pregnant state, even though I used to dismiss you as "that stuff my mom drank in the '90s."
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
When I was banned from fun cheese and caffeine and alcohol — I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all of these nine long months! — and, if I get knocked up again,
I shall but love thee better then.

"Homemade" Frozen Greek Yogurt

2013-06-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

What: "Homemade" Frozen Greek Yogurt
Rating: 9
Non-Quantifiable Rating: You're so lucky that I'm going to share this super-secret recipe with you.

It's summer time. That means frozen yogurt season.

Want to know how to make frozen greek yogurt?

Lean in close.

I can't believe I'm going to divulge this to you.

I should probably whisper...

OK.

First, you take greek yogurt.

Then, you freeze it.

MIND BLOWN.

Were you paying Edy's to freeze greek yogurt for you? No more.

I bought cheap, fat free frozen yogurt and threw it in the freezer for an hour or two, and voila!

The top layer was a bit hard, but no worries. It tastes better when you have to work for it. (Don't let it freeze indefinitely; the whole thing will be rock hard and you'll have to wait for it to melt. No bueno.)

Normally I wouldn't buy flavored yogurt but I made an exception and bought raspberry nonfat greek yogurt, which I topped with fresh raspberries.

Next time I'll just freeze plain yogurt and add honey, coconut, various kinds of fruit, and maybe chopped nuts...or chocolate chips...OMG I'm hungry again...

Awe and Blah: Jessica Simpson Shoes and Workout Restrictions

2013-06-11T00:02:00.000-05:00

Awe

What: Jessica Simpson Shoes
Why: Jessica Simpson appears to be one of the dumber people to ever draw air — at least on television.

However, darn if she doesn't know exactly what shoes to put her name on.

She turned a mediocre singing career into the biggest celebrity clothing/accessories brand on the market. Apparently stuff with her name on it pulls in over a billion dollars annually. (Yes, billion, with a "b.")

It's not an accident. Her shoes are reasonably priced, cute, and weirdly comfortable.

I have a couple of pairs, and these gray peep-toe pumps have become my go-to wedding shoes. They're 5-inch heels, but I made it comfortably through a whole wedding on Saturday — pregnant — thanks to these guys.

Kudos, Jessica. But it still doesn't excuse the time you were introduced to then-Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton and said, "You've done a nice job decorating the White House."

Blah

What: Lame workouts
Why: I had my 20-week ultrasound last week. It went wonderfully. Baby G is in perfect health, and growing like a weed. (He — yes, he — is already measuring very big for his "age." This is adorable now, but maybe not so adorable if he's 12 pounds at birth.)

Anyway, the only tiny hiccup was with me. Not a big deal, but the midwife told me I can't run — at least until my next ultrasound in a month.

I just finished a half marathon and I was planning on squeezing in another one in early August.

Here's the thing: when my midwife told me running posed a potential risk, I didn't even think twice. It's not a "sacrifice" when it's for the sake of this little snot bucket. I'm more than happy to do whatever it takes for him.

That's not what I'm complaining about.

I'm complaining about the lame workouts that I have to do instead. Like "light stationary cycling." I'm also banned from heavy weight lifting. "Light weight, high repetitions," she said.

The funny thing is that I always used to work out like that. I'd do long, very slow cardio sessions where I'd hardly break a sweat. I practically lived on an elliptical trainer in college, and I'd do more magazine reading than actual work on the machine.

When I lifted weights, I'd do reps until I got bored, not fatigued.

Having to revert to that has shown me how much things have changed. So here's my challenge to you non-workout-restricted folks out there: MAKE IT COUNT. Get sweaty. Get uncomfortable. Try Crossfit (visit crossfit.com for workouts; ask me if you need help). Try intervals on your favorite cardio machine.

You'll get done faster, and you'll see better results.

Do it for me! Let me know how it goes.

Breaking Bad, Season 1

2013-06-10T01:24:00.000-05:00

What: Breaking Bad, Season 1
Rating: 7
Non-Quantifiable Rating: What just happened?!

I'm officially the last person on the planet to start watching Breaking Bad. The acclaimed AMC show is about to start its sixth season, but I just hopped on the bandwagon.

If there is anyone else out there even less initiated than I am, Breaking Bad tells the story of a nerdy high school chemistry teacher who is stricken with cancer and decides to use his science skills to start up a meth business in order to pay medical bills.

I mean, that's the obvious course of action.

It's a cool premise, to be sure. The acting is spectacular.

The problems with the first season? It's only seven episodes long, and yet I sort of feel like I've been drinking from a fire hose (filled with hydrofluoric acid, of course). As the hubs describes it, Breaking Bad is like a clown car where stuff just keeps happening and it's all a little zany.

The pacing was strangely uneven, with bouts of chaotic violence interspersed with almost mind-numbingly slow scenes. I hear things pick up in season 2. I'll go along for the ride. If nothing else, I'll learn a few things that I ignored during high school chemistry. (And since I ignored everything in high school chemistry, I have a lot to learn.)

Rubbermaid Commercial Products Microfiber Spray Mop

2013-06-07T00:03:00.000-05:00

What: Rubbermaid Commercial Products Microfiber Spray Mop
Rating: 8
Non-Quantifiable Rating: It's a mop.

We bought this mop on sale at Home Depot to replace a perpetually clogged Swiffer spray mop. I also got sick of buying Swiffer replacement fluid cartridges.

The beauty of this mop: you put your OWN solution into the cartridge. I use a mix of water and plain old white vinegar, so I know exactly what's going on my floors.

It works on our tile AND our hardwood floors, which is fantastic.

Downside #1: I just checked, and it's $40 regular price. That seems like an awful lot for a little stick mop. Wait until it's on sale.

The other downside is that it doesn't "spray" so much as "stream." You have to go easy on your hardwoods, but if you work quickly, the results gleam like a rainbow encrusted Unicorn in Las Vegas.

Spray thingy on the handle.

Awe and Blah: Astrid To-Do List and the Grand Island School District's Sign Language Fail

2013-06-05T00:06:00.000-05:00

Awe

What: Astrid To-Do List Task Management System
Why: I like lists. I especially like to-do lists.

Confession: sometimes I write something on a to-do list that I've already done, just so I can cross it off.

I use to-do lists for errands, for work, for home, and for everything in between.

I realized that there is probably some decent free software out there to house all my lists and help me organize them, so I started doing some research.

As it turns out, the options are nearly endless.

First I tried Remember the Milk (www.rememberthemilk.com), which I selected primarily because of the cute cow logo. Remember the Milk is okay, but the interface has some annoying, non-intuitive elements and, well, it's not as pretty as it could be. (I don't know why I want my to-do lists to be pretty.)

Some more research revealed that Astrid is arguably the most popular free online task management system. I'm still getting used to it, but it works very well so far. Yahoo! just acquired Astrid, but they don't appear to have screwed it up yet.

You can set deadlines, get reminders, and even share your calendar with someone else and assign tasks.

Bonus: you can electronically put a strike through completed tasks. That's almost as satisfying as crossing something off.

Blah

What: Grand Island, Nebraska school district
Why: Three-year-old Hunter is deaf.

Per deaf culture, he has uses a "name sign" to signify his own name (as opposed to having to finger-spell it every time).

Hunter's personalized name sign is "a registered sign with Signing Exact English — a modified form of American Sign Language — and involves extended index fingers."

His school district says that his name sign looks like a gun, and is therefore in violation of their weapons policy.

Yes, seriously.

They are apparently forcing him to change it.

Sigh.

Here's the thing: I understand why school districts are jumpy about anything remotely violent. But forcing a toddler to change his name (and since Hunter doesn't verbalize, his name sign is his ENTIRE name identity, so they really are changing his name) is downright appalling.

My middle/maiden name is Hunter. I was also once moderately fluent in sign language. Maybe that makes me extra sensitive about this story.

Or... maybe I'm a rational friggin' person and think that this school district is crazier than a bag of cats.

Here's hoping all the publicity will force the district to adopt a more rational case-by-case policy, or I might have some very specific hand gestures for them.

Running the Sahara (Film, 2007)

2013-06-03T00:02:00.000-05:00

What: Running the Sahara (Film, 2007)
Rating: 8
Non-Quantifiable Rating: Well, that looks like a whole lot of no fun at all.

I like to watch sports documentaries before big races. Ideally, running documentaries.

In preparation for the Minneapolis Half Marathon, I found Running the Sahara on Netflix.

The Matt Damon produced/narrated film is about three dudes who, well, run the Sahara desert. The whole thing. 4,300 miles in 111 days.

Running the Sahara is really, really well done. It's not so much "inspirational" as it is a cautionary tale, I suppose, but it did still make me want to get out and run — just not across the Sahara.

It's difficult to watch at times, mostly because they do a good job of never sugar coating the experience. There are ego clashes, injuries, fights, frustrations, political setbacks, and everything you'd expect when you decide to do something COMPLETELY EFFING CRAZY.

Best Ever Healthy Peanut Butter Chocolate Pancakes

2013-05-31T00:02:00.000-05:00

What: Best Ever Healthy Peanut Butter Chocolate Pancakes (a.k.a. Peanut Butter Cup Pancakes)
Rating: If pancakes can be a 10, these are a 10.
Non-Quantifiable Rating: Like Reese's for breakfast!

Oh. My. Pancake.

These pancakes are the holy grail: light, incredibly fluffy, unbelievably delicious, and made with 100% whole wheat flour.

Don't ask me why it works. Just make them and enjoy.

You could also leave out the chocolate chips (if you were crazy) and spread jam on them for PB&J pancakes. Mmmm....

Credit for these goes to my husband, the King of All Things Breakfast.

Best Ever (Mostly) Healthy Peanut Butter Chocolate Pancakes
Serves 3-5 depending on hunger levels

Ingredients
- 1-1/2 c. whole wheat flour
- 1/4 tsp. salt
- 2 tsp. baking powder
- 6 Tbls. sugar (you can cut down on this if you want)
- 1-1/4 c. milk
- 1/4 c. peanut butter of your choice (creamy or chunky — we made it with creamy)
- 1 Tbls. olive oil (or peanut oil)
- 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
- 2 large eggs, lightly beaten
- Chocolate chips (optional, to taste)

Directions
1) Thoroughly mix dry ingredients
2) In a separate bowl, thoroughly mix wet ingredients (not including chocolate chips)
3) Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients; stir until smooth
4) Make pancakes. (If you're using chocolate chips, use my husband's patented "blueberry method": when bubbles start to form on the pancakes when they're on the griddle, drop the chocolate chips into the pancakes. When the bubbles start popping, it's time to flip the pancakes.)

Michigan Beer Sampler

2013-05-29T00:04:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, my designated drinker gave you the Ultimate Boston Beer Review. A lofty goal indeed.

He recently spent time in Michigan, and has taken one for the team by testing a few beers for you.

I'm reluctant to call this an "Ultimate" list because too many of my readers have spent too much time in Michigan, and they'd have a few words to say about such a lofty claim.

Instead, it's just a little beer sampler to get you through this shortened week. All notes are his (unless otherwise noted.)

North Peak Diabolical IPA
Ranking: #4 of 4

Tasting Notes:

The coolest thing is the bottle. (Ellen notes: "Ouch.")

It's a solid-ish IPA with a strong-ish 6.66% ABV. Nothing particularly special about it — except for that bottle.

Unfortunately, the other North Peak options were no better. This is actually the best of the bunch; samples of North Fork Majestic Wheat Ale was lame, and Siren Amber Ale tasted like colored water.

Vivant Brewery Solitude Abbey Style Ale

Ranking: #3 of 4

Tasting Notes:

Those monks know how to party in the Abbey.

(Ellen notes: my Intro to Theology Professor — a monk — told me that monks were allowed to drink a "hemina" of alcohol, but nobody knew how much a hemina was, so they all figured they hadn't hit the limit yet.)

Vivant's Solitude Abbey Style Ale has wonderful character without being too heavy. The maltiness came through, which is tough in a lighter belgian beer.

It has a healthy dose of fruitiness and is still unique. It's not cheap — and perhaps not quite worth the price — but I sure wouldn't turn down a free one.

Mount Pleasant Train Wreck Ale
Ranking: #2 of 4

Tasting Notes:

Mt. Pleasant's Train Wreck is anything but.

It's light with some fruity undertones — but it's still nothing you would consider putting fruit in. (I'm looking at you, Blue Moon.) This was perfect on a day where you really wanted it to be summer but you needed something with a bit more character to keep you warm.

I would call this a big brother to Grain Belt Premium. (Grandpa G. — a lifelong Grain Belt fan — just rolled over in his grave, but I bet he would like this one if he had had the chance to try it.)

Founders Doom Imperial IPA Bourbon Barrel-Aged

Tasting Notes:

OMG COCONUT!! (Ellen notes: you can't make this stuff up.)

Yeah, that's right, coconut. Soooo much coconut. There's lots of vanilla in this bourbon barrel-aged beer as well. Don't be fooled by the sweeter flavors; this is a really strong, robust IPA (10% ABV).

Make sure you give this one time to think about warming up. As the beer warmed, the flavors changed completely. Cold isn't as good — patience is rewarded in this case.

Thanks, Michigan!

Happy Memorial Day

2013-05-27T10:06:00.002-05:00

Vampire Weekend: Modern Vampires of the City

2013-05-24T00:04:00.000-05:00

What: Vampire Weekend, Modern Vampires of the City
Rating: 8
Non-Quanifiable Rating: I'm too old for this album. But I like it anyway.

I'm turning 30 in a couple of months. That's not old. But it's old to be a Vampire Weekend fan. Cerebral, indie rocking college students flock to this band like people who enjoy Glamour Shots flock to Tom Jones concerts.

In other words, talking about Vampire Weekend makes me feel like this:

Vampire Weekend released their eponymous album in 2008, but I haven't paid any attention to them. I think I heard the name and thought they were a bunch of weird little emo kids trying to ride the Twilight wave.

They just released their third album, Modern Vampires of the City, this week. Before hearing it, I happened upon a review which likened them to Paul Simon.

Say whaaat?

I adore Paul Simon.

Then I started looking into their first two albums. They have a song called "Oxford Comma." OK, these dudes are speaking my language.

The first two albums took over my Spotify on repeat for a full week. It's great work music — energetic enough to keep me awake, but with some chilled out ballads mixed in for good measure. And I definitely see the Simon influence. Apparently Paul Simon gave them his stamp of approval, which counts for pretty much everything.

(I would like Paul Simon to publicly approve of anything I do. Maybe I should make him some cupcakes or something.)

Anyway, my enjoyment of the first two albums prompted me to check out their latest effort. It's a bit more scatterbrained than the last two but that's part of the fun, and it's really, really impressive.

So, fellow kids, let's fire up the ol' jukebox and enjoy this neat band!

Awe and Blah: Dog found alive in Oklahoma rubble and Special Delivery

2013-05-21T19:45:00.006-05:00

Awe

What: This is already yesterday's news (literally), but I can't help sharing. I'm making my Awe and Blah a bit early for the sake of timeliness.

Like all of you, my heart has gone out to the people of Oklahoma. Tornadoes are really, really mean.

One very bright spot amid the chaos? This moment with Oklahoma resident Barbara Garcia, which was caught on video. Watch and feel better.

Blah

What: Special Delivery: Creating the Birth You Want for You and Your Baby
Why: I rented this video from the library thinking that it would provide some information and options regarding childbirth.

Instead, I got a lot of screaming and blood and mullets.

(Yes, mullets. The movie was a lot older than I anticipated.)

Some background on me: I am known for not being easily scared by movies. I have a friend who used to deliberately pick out the most horrifying movie he could think of in hopes that it would finally make me crack.

He never thought to recommend Special Delivery, but he should have.

There was no information. Nothing even the slightest bit useful.

I am now dumber and immensely more traumatized than I was before I saw this movie.

I should have known. Look at the crazed, evil look in the baby's eye on the cover. Shudder.

Undaunted Courage

2013-05-20T00:11:00.000-05:00

What: Undaunted Courage
Author: Stephen E. Ambrose
Rating: 7
Non-Quantifiable Rating: I'm daunted by this book.

Undaunted Courage is a sweeping epic about the famed Lewis and Clark expedition. Really, it's a biography of Meriweather Lewis's entire life, with primary focus given to the expedition.

The book had to have been a herculean effort to write. It was exhausting to read, and I felt like I was on my own 8,000 mile expedition to get to the end. (It's about 500 pages, but the giant pages each have about twice as many words as normal books, so it's really more like a 1,000 page book. It took me six weeks to read.)

I guess I was expecting something more like Endurance. Endurance covered a far less historically important expedition, but it was written with such breathless drama and sharply observed context/commentary that it I couldn't put it down.

Undaunted Courage, on the other hand, felt like a choppy adaptation of trip journals. That makes this review the most scathing criticism of Undaunted Courage ever, if Amazon.com is to be believed.

I might be missing something, because this is one of the most famous and highly regarded historical nonfiction books out there. Steven Ambrose is a legend (he also wrote Band of Brothers) and I feel like I'm insulting his memory with a rating of 7.

To be fair, a "7" means the book was really good. It was very interesting, and I learned a ton about early 19th century Native American culture.

Still, I think I would rather have read the eight-volume Thwaites versions of the Lewis and Clark journals. That would have probably taken me six weeks, and at least I could say that I read eight books in that amount of time.

Ray Padula "Turbo Waters" Timed Lawn Sprinklers

2013-05-17T01:30:00.004-05:00

Sorry about the lame photo of the box. It's a dark and stormy night out there and my neighbors might wonder about me if they saw me prowling around with a flashlight in order to take a photo of my lawn sprinkler at 1:30 in the morning.

What: Ray Padula "Turbo Waters" Timed Lawn Sprinklers
Price: $15 on sale at Menards
Rating: 7
Non-Quantifiable Rating: Sprinklers aren't as fun when you're old.

Signs that you are old:

1) You review lawn sprinklers.
2) The major drawback of your new lawn sprinklers is that there is no "delay" function on them, so when you turn them on you either: a) sprint away, or b) get soaked.
3) You think that getting soaked by a lawn sprinkler is a BAD thing.

We just re-seeded our lawn after grading it, and it requires twice daily watering for an extended period of time. Fun stuff.

The hubs picked up two fancy schmancy lawn sprinklers to get the job done. The main selling point? You can PROGRAM them to water for a specific number of minutes.

People, this is awesome, because I am exactly the kind of person who would turn on the sprinkler and then start a load of laundry and then start making a loaf of bread and then answer work emails and then come outside four hours later to find a herd of ducks splashing about in my backyard.

I love the new sprinklers. And it just occurred to me that I could wait until after the sprinkler is turned on to turn the WATER on, which would solve my 'sprinting away' problem.

Or I could just quit being such a grown up and splash about in the sprinkler, à la duck.

Awe and Blah: Vinegar Fruit Wash and Manhattan Moms at Disney World

2013-05-14T00:03:00.000-05:00

Awe

What: Vinegar Fruit Wash
Why: You know what's a blah? When you bring beautiful berries home from the grocery store and about 47 minutes later, they're already a pile of mold.

The solution costs pennies, at most. No fancy, expensive washes needed.

All you need is water, a bowl, and some distilled white vinegar.

There are different water:vinegar ratios all over the web. Some people use 10:1; some people use 2:1 (that's REALLY strong!). The goal is the same: kill mold spores and discourage bacterial growth.

Bonus: you can wash off dirt and some surface pesticides!

To be honest, I don't really measure. I fill a big bowl with water, dump in some vinegar, and add my berries. I swirl them around for a bit, drain (I used my salad spinner), and return to their packaging. I probably should be better about drying them thoroughly before putting them away, but I haven't had any trouble yet.

Even raspberries, the trickiest of all berries when it comes to mold, can last a week with this wash. (Please keep an eye on your fruit and don't blame me if you do a vinegar wash and then eat a fuzzy green raspberry three months from now.)

This works for grapes, too — and veggies. It's vinegarrific.

Blah

What: Wealthy Manhattan moms hiring physically disabled "tour guides" to cut the line at Disney World.

Why: Feeling a bit morally bankrupt this week? Don't worry, the line above has probably already fixed that for you.

At least you're not one of the wealthy Manhattan moms reportedly partaking in a new black market service, which entails hiring a physically disabled person to pose as a family member so the wealthy family can cut lines at Disney World.

I know. Gwahhhhh?!?!

Here's the thing: I'm not upset with the people offering the service. It's appalling, but it's sort of like prostitution: yes, you probably shouldn't be doing it, but it's a failure of society that it's a job in the first place.

I'm upset that there is a MARKET for this kind of thing. What sort of parent is okay with this? Short answer: THE WORST SORT EVER. And what about the kids? How does the mom explain that one to them?

"This is my new friend Grace; she'll be hanging out with us today. As I've told you every single day of your entire life, you are far more important than everyone else in the world, so we get to scoot around all this riff-raff! This will in no way give you a permanent sense of entitlement, nor will it give you the idea that you should take advantage of other people in order to advance your own interests. You will grow up to be modest, patient, and culturally sensitive. Just like Mel Gibson."

Lincoln (2012)

2013-05-13T00:14:00.000-05:00

What: Lincoln (2012)
Rating: 6
Non-Quantifiable Rating: It's (kind of) about some guy.

I expected Lincoln to be an epic biopic that would span an icon's life, giving a rich history and insight into the mind of one of America's greatest leaders.

Instead, I got an in-depth history lesson on the political shuffling behind the 13th Amendment.

That was cool and all, but it wasn't at all what I expected. This movie reflected a tiny sliver (albeit an important sliver) of Lincoln's life, and Lincoln himself was a mere subplot in the film.

Other downsides?

Sally Fields (Mary Todd Lincoln) is really, really annoying.
Tommy Lee Jones's wig deserved its own billing. Its character name would be: "Squished Squirrel."

Daniel Day-Lewis is a freaky chameleon, and while his character wasn't as powerful and compelling as I'd hoped, that probably reflects on Lincoln more than it does on Day-Lewis. Day-Lewis deserved that Oscar.

The film was really good for what it was — it just wasn't what it should have or could have been.

Closet Complete Ultra Thin Heavy Duty No Slip Velvet Suit Hangers

2013-05-10T01:29:00.001-05:00

What: Closet Complete Ultra Thin Heavy Duty No Slip Velvet Suit Hangers, Set of 50 in Camel
Rating: 8
Non-Quantifiable Rating: Anal retentive? There's a hanger system for that!

I just had a flash of my college self reading a post 10 years down the road in which I get super stoked about hangers.

My college self just sighed, grabbed a beer, and has refused to be associated with me in any way.

I don't even care. I'M SO EXCITED! All my hangers MATCH! Squeeeeeeeeee!

Yes, Dad, that's your plaid flannel shirt, circa 1964, toward the back there. Let me know if you want that back.

Prior to this purchase, I had a jumble of mismatched hangers accumulated from Target, dry cleaners, my husband's closet, and whenever the person at a clothing store felt charitable (or lazy) and failed to detach my garment from the store hanger.

It was a mess.

Now that I'm trying to jam maternity clothes in with the clothes I'm still pretending I fit into, I needed a new solution. I did a really strange amount of research given that I was only going to purchase hangers, and settled on the Closet Complete Ultra Thin Heavy Duty No Slip Velvet Suit Hangers. I'm sure all of the words in that name are totally necessary.

Here's the thing: make sure you get the HEAVY DUTY ones. The same brand makes crappy flimsy hangers for only a dollar or two less per box. The heavy duty ones I got can handle suits and jeans and even heavy coats with no trouble at all.

Downsides? They're certainly not the highest end hangers out there (who knew there was a luxury market for hangers?) but it's still a slightly nausea-inducing $30-$35 for a set of 50. Also, they shed a bit. I suspect that this is temporary, and haven't yet found it all over my clothes (the fuzzies just flew through the air when I took them out of the package).

Upsides? They match. Obviously. And they're strong, and super thin, so I can squash all my clothes in there in proper order by category, sleeve length, and then ROYGBIV rainbow coloring.

(That last line did it. My college self just threw herself out a window.)

Gym Awe and Blah

2013-05-08T00:28:00.001-05:00

Awe
For this week's Awe, I'll share three favorite things at the gym these days. (FYI, I'm still hooked on heavy ropes and my Jungle Gym suspension training system but I thought I'd share a few new things.)

It's not an accident that all three of these activities are favorites of Crossfit. I've switched over to Crossfitmom.com for now, and I love it. It's gentler, with more scaling options, and it's not just for moms-to-be. Check it out if you're interested in Crossfit but intimidated.

Back to the moves.

First, kettlebells. These look like weapons of torture, and that's because they are.
If there's a better way to simultaneously improve full-body strength and cardiovascular conditioning (other than cross-country skiing, which is — finally — a bit out of season), I don't know it.

Check out this video for a basic introduction on kettlebell form.
Second, I'm lovin' on box jumps. And who wouldn't? They're like a picnic in the sunshine and not at all terrifying. Okay, I lied. They're hard and scary, but that's what makes them sooooooo good. I have the shin scars to prove it.

(Don't worry, I'm sticking with step-ups or very low box jumps for now, and I have a feeling I'll be ditching them altogether soon. So that just means you have to do more box jumps on my behalf!)

Here's a video demonstrating a whole new way to look at box jumps:
Finally, here is my favorite strict weightlifting move. I'm only lifting about half of what I did pre-pregnancy, but it's still a good move and no matter how often I do it, I always seem to get a good soreness the next day.

Because soreness is fun, right? RIGHT?!

Blah
I considered listing gym activities that I dislike (or can't do anymore), but that doesn't do you any good. Then I thought about listing my biggest gym etiquette pet peeves.

It's still not the slightest bit useful, but at least it's more fun.

Take, for instance, when those meatheads fail to unload their weights when they're done with the squat rack:

Then there's the chick having a loud, 45 minute cell phone conversation on the treadmill next to me.

But my absolute favorite has to be the gentleman from earlier this week who took a solid 20 minute nap on the hamstring curl machine at my gym. Loud snoring and all. I didn't take a picture of him, because, you know, that would be rude and inappropriate. Unlike using the gym as your bedroom, which is apparently totally reasonable.

Tortilla Pizzas

2013-05-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

What: Tortilla pizza
Rating: 9
Non-Quantifiable Rating: Who wants to eat a whole pizza? I do! I do!

I have no defensible reason why I haven't been making tortilla pizzas at least once per week for the last ~~four~~ twenty years.

Perhaps all of you make them all the time and this is suuuuuch old news — well, aren't YOU just super duper special? — but this just dawned on me on Friday like a giant, cheese-smothered light bulb.

Here's the beauty of tortilla pizzas: they are ENDLESSLY versatile. Throw on whatever you have on hand, and whatever you're in the mood for.

They're easy, quick, healthy (unless you really go nuts with certain toppings), and they're SOOO delicious.

There are recipes on the web advising that you use a baking sheet, but I think that would result in a soggy crust. I made mine on a cast-iron skillet. You could also grill these, which would be perfect for summer.

Woohooo! Pizza all summer!!!

Tortilla Pizzas
Serves 1 (But you could make more and share if you were feeling magnanimous)

Ingredients
- 1 whole wheat tortilla
- 1 serving of ricotta cheese (optional; I'm obsessed with Ricotta)
- A couple tablespoons of pizza sauce or regular tomato sauce
- Italian seasoning/basil and garlic to suit
- 1 serving mozzarella cheese
- Toppings — go nuts! I used spinach, baby portobello mushrooms, and red bell pepper
- Another sprinkling of cheese for the top, if you choose. I used parmesan to make it a three-cheeser.

Directions
1) Preheat oven to 425 degrees
2) Place tortilla in a cast-iron skillet — or on the grill, or a heat-safe baking rack, or a pizza stone, or whatever!)
Apply toppings in order specified above — or whatever order you want!
3) Bake for 10-12 minutes, watching carefully so your toppings don't scorch
4) Eat the whole thing.

I'm not much of a calorie counter, but I added things up out of curiosity and came out around 300 calories for my whole pizza. That's insane. It also means that I'm going to need extra ice cream tonight.

Kashi Indigo Morning Cereal (Organic and Non-GMO)

2013-05-03T00:03:00.000-05:00

What: Kashi Indigo Morning Cereal
Rating: 4
Non-Quantifiable Rating: Well, at least they're trying.

I broke up with Kashi after discovering that the so-called "natural" food company was in fact a giant ugly company that gave an insane amount of money to fight food labeling in California.

They've come under harsh criticism for stuffing their "natural" cereals and granola bars with genetically modified ingredients laced with pesticide and shame.

Apparently they noticed that they were alienating a major portion of their consumer base, so lately they've been making an effort to introduce more genuinely organic, non-GMO cereals.

Their (normally expensive) cereals were BOGO at Byerly's this week, so I picked up a few boxes of their new efforts, including Indigo Morning. (Yes, I know that my beloved Lucky Charms suffer from the same evils as Kashi — and more — but at least they don't even bother pretending to be hippies.)

The pros:
- Indigo Morning is, apparently, non-GMO and organic. Cool.
- The main ingredient is puffy, sweetened corn flakes, and they're pretty decent.
- The nutrition facts are pretty good. 100 calories for a 3/4 c. serving, with 6 grams of sugar.

The cons:
- I like that they added blueberries and blackberries, but those suckers are freeze dried beyond recognition. They're dry and bland. Kashi's blueberries and blackberries are to fresh blueberries and blackberries are what Kim Kardashian is to talented, modest people.
- The trade-off for limited calories is limited protein: 2 grams per serving. Lame.

I've certainly had worse cereal and I'm glad that Kashi is making an effort, but I won't go out of my way to buy Indigo Morning again.

Try harder, Kashi.

Ultimate Boston Beer Ranking, Review, and Tasting Notes (with help from my designated drinker)

2013-05-01T10:29:00.000-05:00

I promised I wouldn't make you stay sober with me while I'm "in a family way," as they say.

So I recruited my husband to drink and dictate the ultimate tour of Boston beers, based on his experiences there. It was a rough job, but someone had to do it.

In his defense, lest he come across as a lush, these were spaced over several nights. Even the ones with the bartender strategically positioned in the background (at the fabulous Tasty Burger near Fenway) were in two separate visits.

Without further ado, ranked worst to first, here they are (with his dictated tasting notes and a few of my corny jokes thrown in):

Samuel Adams Noble Pils
Ranking: #7 of 7

He just did a sampling of this one at the Sam Adams Brewery so I had to steal a better picture from theperfectlyhappyman.com.

Thanks, stranger. Glad you're perfectly happy.

Tasting Notes:

Unlike the Boston Marathon course, this was flat. Ellen couldn't have any, obviously, but I told her this bland stuff wasn't even worth a sniff. Totally forgettable.

Harpoon UFO Unfiltered White
Ranking: #6 of 7

Tasting Notes:

An okay wheat beer, but even though I'm not a huge wheat beer fan, Blue Moon would beat this out in a heartbeat. There's no spice, and just citrus. It is the pop fly of wheat beers. Cop out. No challenge.

Samuel Adams Boston Lager
Ranking: #5 of 7

Tasting Notes:

Great middle of the road choice with more flavor than the big batch varieties but not so much that it's off-putting for the gentler palates. Always a solid choice, and it tastes even better when you're in its homeland — not to mention the tour guide at the Samuel Adams brewery, who put on a great show and did his fair share of drinking along with us.

Six Point Bengali Tiger
Ranking: #4 of 7

Tasting Notes:

Very interesting. Lots of nutmeg. I had to try it because of the name, but this tiger was pretty easy to tame. Definitely worth my time.

Six Point Diesel
Ranked #3 of 7

Tasting Notes:

Is that coffee I'm drinking? This is one of the richer stouts that I've had lately. It's a little out of my season (it was 70 degrees, and that's the equivalent of 85 for me), but it was really good. It had flavors on a lot of different levels: sweet, smoky, and a few other flavors to keep me guessing.

Samuel Adams 26.2 Boston Brew
Ranking: #2 of 7

Tasting Notes:

This is the classic beer that's only available along the actual race route each year right around the marathon. I had to try it at Cheers, which is as iconic as Boston gets. Perfectly balanced wheat beer with citrus, sweet notes, and spiciness. Wish it were available at home; fantastic warm weather beer.

Six Point Brownstone
Ranking: #1 of 7

Tasting Notes:

I'm a sucker for a really nutty brown ale, and this would have satisfied even the hungriest squirrel. They knocked this one out of the [Fenway] park. This had some sweet caramel with a whole lot of extra flavors. I can't pinpoint them all, but I liked them all. Easy favorite of the bunch.

p.s. We Love Boston.

Mud

2013-04-29T00:03:00.000-05:00

What: Mud (2013)

Rating: 8

Non-Quantifiable Rating: Heartwarming, riveting, and not afraid to get dirty. (Ha! Dirty! Mud! Get it?)

Here's your one sentence summary: This movie is basically a really cool Huck Finn ripoff, except Jim is Matthew McConaughey. Make sense? Yeah, I know. It doesn't make sense.

Confession: I had never heard of Mud until about an hour before we left for the movie theater.

It has occurred to us that, after we become parents later this year, spontaneous movie-going will be a thing of the past.

So we decided to go to a movie, just because we can.

I pulled up that genius-of-a-website rottentomatoes.com and decided to see what had decent reviews.

With a 98% positive critic rating, Mud blew everything else out of the water. (Another pun.)

How was there a ridiculously highly rated film starring Hollywood A-listers that I'd never heard of?

Answer: They spent most of their budget on the two big stars, and on a crazy scene toward the end, which I will not spoil, instead of marketing. They trusted that awesome people like me would spread the word.

Challenge accepted.

Mud takes place in Arkansas, and by takes place, I mean that it is not just set there, but actually shot there, and is fully immersed in the state. Director Joe Nichols is an Arkansas native, and you can tell that he feels very strongly about his home.

I already gave you the basics of the film with my one sentence summary, so now all you need to know is that the performances are spectacular — and the Oscar goes to...that guy who was once arrested for playing the bongos very stoned and very naked* — and the film is a refreshingly equal balance of badass and heartfelt.

It's not one of those films that you HAVE to see in the theater in order to enjoy it, but if you're going to a movie, you could do a whole lot worse.

*That's Matthew McConaughey, for those of you fortunate enough to have missed that tidbit of news from several years back.

Zensah Compression Leg Sleeves

2013-04-26T00:16:00.000-05:00

What: Zensah Compression Leg Sleeves
Rating: 10
Non-Quantifiable Rating: I'm in love and I don't care who knows it.

These are just like they sound: they compress your calves. Simple enough, right?

I ordered these because, even in my first trimester, my legs started to swell up a bit (uh-oh!). I did some research and found that compression sleeves were a good solution.

I've only known of compression gear for post-race recovery (they were pretty much the uniform the day after the Ironman), but I liked the idea of double duty.

Then it occurred to me that they'd be great to wear on the plane to and from the Boston marathon to prevent swelling and clots.

I ordered a pair on Amazon.com and loved them right away. They're comfortable and they do the job. At $35-$40 they're not cheap, but they're worth every penny — and they're still cheaper than some of the super fancy compression brands.

Then I noticed a Zensah booth at the marathon expo and realized people were planning to run the race wearing them. Having never actually worn them for a run, I took a risk and wore them for the full race.

Best. Decision. Ever.

By the end of the race (well, mile 25.7, but see April 16th's post for that story) my quads were in terrible condition — as usual — but my calves felt fantastic.

Seriously. Like "let's do some calf raises" fantastic.

Even while I walked around like a penguin for the next few days, it was never because of my calves, because they never got sore. I attribute it completely to the compression sleeves.

I got the beige-colored pair so I can hide them under skirts for the rest of my pregnancy, but my sister-in-law got a neon pink pair and was kind enough to loan those to me.

I'll keep wearing them for the rest of my pregnancy and would recommend them to any athlete and/or pregnant woman. (And, dudes, there were probably more guys than women in the Zensah booth buying these, so don't be shy!)

I totally have a heart

2013-04-24T00:38:00.003-05:00

So last night I Grammar Policed a very public tweet with a hysterical typo/Freudian slip.

Some poor soul contacted me today who is the official Tweeter (Twitterer? Twerp?) for the company which shall remain unnamed, and is super embarrassed about the tweet. He begged for me to take down my post, because apparently he could "totally get fired" for it and he didn't want to draw more attention to it.

And, contrary to popular belief, I do have a heart, so I am taking down the post. But it was still funny...