So I’ve been thinking of writing something on Arsenal for quite some time, all my close confidantes know how fanatically I support this club. The fanaticism is so much that I do genuinely feel it easily supercedes by love for the Indian Cricket Team. A normal Mumbai boy who was always dis-interested in football and preferred playing gully cricket with all the local buddies, this was quite a turnaround in the thinking.

The turnaround came on 8th May 2002, where I along with a bunch of Manchester United supporters who I call my 'Brothers' watched Sylvain Wiltord slide one in against Fabian Barthez to seal the Premier League Win for Arsenal against their most hated enemies at that point. I can honestly say up until that point I never bothered to watch a complete match of football maybe just bits and parts. But here was a team which mustered that 'Winning' pride through every facet of that match. The great Patrick Vieira kissing that cannon, it made me feel alive again. I never knew English Football least of all Arsenal, but this was that moment when I felt 'Oh God! This is surreal, unbelievable'. I never knew Man United and never wanted to know them, it just didn't matter to me. I saw a team which dominated everything about the game from the passing to defense as if it was child's play. The crowd at Old Trafford shouting 'We won the league here', yes OLD TRAFFORD! Before the very man I despise until today Alex Ferguson, the Red Army. This was just goose bumps! I looked around the room, my brothers were completely distraught, overwhelmed couldn't believe what had become of their dear team. They say a sign which changes your life comes in many ways, I knew this was it. I knew I had found my team, I knew I was a 'Gunner'.

A Gunner Be True, through all his life! Cut to reality on 8th May 2011, Stoke a team which will be facing Manchester City in the FA Cup Final and losing but will be playing the Europa Cup beats us '3-1'. This was the headline 'Stoke extinguished Arsenal's Premier League title dream'. This was a team manned by the current captain Van Persie and was immediately an indication of the sign of things to come. A team which imploded on Carling Cup night against Birmingham City and never seemed to have won a match after that implosion. A team rocked by constant tapping of Barcelona for Fabregas, and little by little the unsettling of Samir Nasri as we know today. A professor whom they call Mr. Wenger seems to have lost its way they say, a management who doesn't want to spend they feel and a pointless investment in a stadium which has left us bereft of money and crowd enthusiasm. If that's not enough, the entire transfer saga that gave us cold feet from losing Clichy to Fabregas to Nasri. A team short on options and the management not showing any intention on buying anyone.

Despite all the negatives, the Gunner in me said Manchester United away, if we win this (hoping against hope) what an answer it would be to the naysayers considering we just won against Udinese. That fateful day, United were in their game and we were thinned down to the very least. Traore unsure if he had to run or tackle, Jenkinson stretched to the most, Walcott being wastefully quick and then we see goals after goals after goals. The commentators were commeting on the high back line and then he says 'But this is ARSENAL we are talking about, This is ARSENAL!’ Every time a Goal went in my heart sank and sank deeper. But I knew this is what was required to show Wenger and Management where we are. From a team in 2002 which sang with pride at Old Trafford we left that same place in 2011 mourning the death of the Arsenal spirit.

We bought Mertesacker, Arteta (whom I always believed would be coming to Arsenal once Cesc left), Santos (whom I had never heard about) and Chu Young Park (whom we snatched from Lille considering we want Hazard too). With a win against Swansea and a draw against Borussia Dortmund, they say our confidence is coming back. I guess this new look Arsenal does require some time to gel and be fluid while pass and play. It will take time, but as an honest Gunner I know this is not what I had imagined, I don't want my Arsenal to be lagging back. I want my Arsenal to show that same fight I had seen in 2002, we didn't get a tag in the BIG 4 in the Premier League just playing shit football. We have earned it, it’s time we make it ours and stamp our presence. Does it mean buy better players, so be it the pride in being a successful club on the field weighs far more than the one in the accounting. We have Kronke and Usmanov time to make use of them. God Damn It! David Dein himself saw that self-sustenance was going to fail in the long run and this is the same guy who prodded Wenger to get Campbell from Spurs, yes from SPURS! to fill the hole. It is time we change, not the Manager but his thinking, not the Management but the way they conduct business.

I am critical of the ways things are being handled with Arsenal, but I will always have hope because I am a Gunner! A Gunner Be True, through all his life!

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So im sitting outside the doctor's clinic ready to get myself checked for the recent knee snap and constant back pain niggling me for the last 4 weeks. Thinking about the situation I am in, cant help but laugh at myself. Half of my friends who know, constantly tease me that "Old Man your days are numbered!" and "Old man your breaking down".

Until now the strangest tease ive got is from my elder cousin 10 years older than me "Langde, what positions have you been trying". If thats not embrassing enough, he mentions that right in front of my aunt. Stunner!

So I dont get into the reasons how I got here. Its just that how people relate it to the fact you are living alone and no one to care for. Come on, my aunt took me to the side and started asking about 'how bad the pain was' to 'how serious she thinks it could be'. Amidst all of those inquisitive but caring lines she slips in 'Think we need to get you married asap'. Stunner again, so the idea here is if you are single, 30 and unwell for some reason its a sign to get married. Try figuring the logic in that one, ive been trying to unlock that in the last few days. But then again this is my aunt we are talking, she can remove logic out of anything to make marriage appear related.

So anyways for all the guys, in the same age group as I am, I am sure you have different experiences all pertaining to the same concept 'Get Married'. :)

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7.10pm is when the bombs exploded, 3 bombs they say, 13 people died and twice the number injured they speculate.

7.15pm is when things start to sink in, that 'Oh My God! Its happened again' and 'Is everyone OK'.

7.30pm is when the rationalization of the entire foresaid event starts and what do I get, 'Oh its that country to the north of us. Screw them, Admonish them, Let them die in Hell' followed by 'Im unhappy about this and hope everyone is fine in Mumbai, our prayers are with them'

7.40pm you watch the news to get a perspective of the events, the more you watch the more you wonder who is actually spreading these rumours. The public or the pathetic newsmedia who are poorly informed creating unwanted hysteria.

Those 30 minutes pretty much summed up everything for a Mumbaikar. It kind of made sense for me too, these guys who want terrorize us have a 4 yearly plan to give us the tremors. I don't know if these people are the same or different people who have varied inetrests ranging from taking advantage of a viable situation, bring down the government, being heard or just doing this to have fun.

You know I feel the city of Mumbai is become like that kid in school, who got bullied once by a person of strength. But seeing the weakness or lack of resolve the entire school bullies him out his Misery! So looks like any Tom Dick and Harry with a resonable terrorizing intent can inflict pain on us as and when they want.

Then we have "Mumbai will GO ON!" and "Its the Spirit Of Mumbai that will take us past this tragedy" filling the Facebook and Twitter timelines abound everywhere. Some people have even improvised it to an extent now saying "Be happy when you see your kids and family, forget the negativity"

As much as I agree with the later, I don't want no jackass telling me to be Happy to be alive or be Strong from the tragedy that just happened to my City! I don't need this piss-ass tell me that we can move on and there is something better up ahead. Let me tell you 'Postive About The Future Of This City' Fool, with the rate these blasts are happening you, me, him, her, that kid, your neighbour, your relative all are close to that one bomb which will explode when you least expect. So keep that spirit handy then my dear man, and be a beacon of enlightenment to others when you lose your dear one. And Yes Mumbai has to go on not because we have the F**KING SPIRIT its because it HAS to.

You know what's the worst part about this, I remember after the Mumbai Attacks we all had a candle lit march across the Gateway Of India. Scores came in and voiced their strong opinions on the ever so rudimentary Indian Newsmedia some even projecting it the Voice Of India speaking. All fine and dandy I must say, some even gave me goosebums egging me to urge on. What happened then!

I am sure we may have a beautiful white clothed march across town with our candles lit again to remember the souls who lost their life. But what after that, are we going to go back to our ignorant little life wondering everything's fine now. Where is the responisbility my dear Friend, whom do we leave accountable for this periodic carnage which hits the streets when you least expect. How do we wander off so easily into the night when the day was bloodied.

So what gives people, what gives!

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Lets talk today about getting something unexpected. Put yourself in my place when I say this (and I mean only the guys), I get a call from my friend (a really close old buddy right down from my school days) saying something like this “Hey Dude, whats up? How you doing?” I return the pleasentaries by asking how he is doing himself. He then says with a deep baritone ”Dude I am not sure if you have heard this….I have already informed the others about this”, at this point I am thinking something bad has happened and I am gracing for the worst considering I feel its some disaster. The next thing he says “I got ENGAGED last week….”

Pretending that I didn’t hear that correctly, I asked him to say that again. He says “Dude im ENGAGED!!”. The first thing I do is break into a laugh, the next thing I do is check if its 1st of April. I retort back “Cmon Bro, Shut Up!”. He says “I am serious im Engaged”. My smile turns smaller and smaller by the second cause its not the 1st of April and my friend’s Gawd Damn Serious. All I can think about at that point “What The Hell is happening?”, I mean this friend of mine never seemed to have a relationship ever since I have known him. We used to talk about how marraige is not on the agenda and be bachelors till we can survive on our own  .

All that changed with this one line, but being my friend and chaddi buddie I him wished all the best and congratulated him on the new step he has taken without any malice. The next thing I am thinking now is what is going to happen to our BrotherHood. Well for those who don’t know BrotherHood basically consists of all our friends from school especially the one which used to attend Hindi-Marathi tutions together. We call it the Martiso Brotherhood (named after me as we used most time at my place). So coming back, the Brotherhood’s pillar was my friend whom we thought will ensure our hood survives the test of time.

When I asked my friend what made him decide to get engaged, he said he just knew it as he really had fallen for the beautiful lady whom he knew the past 4 months. Truth be told, I would kill for a feeling like that and that is why I am even more Happy for my friend. But this just puts undue pressure on the other guys who have relationships. I know another BrotherHood member who is 7 YEARS (Freaking 7 YEARS!!) in a relationship, I can almost feel the noose being tied around his neck soon. Another friend from Hood got saved by the bell, he just told me recently he broke up with his girl, LUCKY BUM!! As for me, I don’t know yet, I dont believe im in that state where I can see marriage. I know for a fact 3 years 6 months should be a decider, but I just believe in more time to know and be more compatible.

So to all those guys out there, if you even have the slightest feeling that you see yourself with someone for the rest of your life. Just Go For It!! You will never regret that decision you made.

Cheers Till Laterz.

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Well last night I was privy to a party with just some of colleagues from work..and all of them chicks…all of them beautiful..intelligent (unless they are not drunk)…complete party freaks..and damn SINGLE.

See I don’t have a problem with the girls being drunk and even being quirky when it comes to Parties. My problem is when they start looking for CUTE BOYS when they are drunk. This goes out to all the girls who are reading this…when you start looking for a guy who is cute regardless of his status (single or commited)…even if your drunk…please do not shout in front of him “Your Cute”. That jackass is understandably elated but what he is thinking now is ‘I’ve got easy meat’…I am sorry ladies, when you complient some indiscreet Guy in a Party he has come to get find his mojo, 9 times out of 10 he will start thinking from his dick. Serious! I know cause ive been there…and you girls don’t need to look at me with a “I didn’t expect this from you” Look..PLEASE!!

When you find the guy cute and he is with other guy friends, don’t bother giving him the number..Know why,  have you heard of the proverbial ‘Stalker’ who calls you Day and Night asking for ermmm…”Lets Get It On Sweety”. Unless you have death wish, I don’t think anyone wants to do it.

So what do you do, you might ask, Your Single and Drunk to the Core, you see a really Handsome Man in a party and you wanna do something about it. Simple, go to the nearest Loo, puke all the crap that you just drunk, splash some really Cold Water on your face…go back to the party. Now your almost back to your senses, you’ll realize this Cute guy your looking at has got a Big Mole on his Mofoing Nose and a bad Body Odour. In a matter of minutes your Cute Guy will turn out to be a Freak Of Nature..

I hope iv’e inspired some women folk out here..;D

Till then Laterz..

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Cut to the year 2000, A Looser (Me) with 3 Other Perpetual Losers (Ain’t Gonna Give Any Names) are trying to get inside Lush (The A Grade party place in those days). Just a small problem though, we have no girls and the money is a little too much to spend just to freaking enter. So we are like 4 Guys with absolutely no chance of entering, but we still think we are Cool or atleast that’s what I thought. But then a Ray Of Hope, my looser friend’s sister walks in with her friends and we enter by a stroke of luck.

Cut to 2009, I enter easily as there is no dearth of Women around, cause we all have our female friends with a special connection.  .. Plus money isn’t an issue anymore as the girls now spend it for me (hehehehe..I wish this line was so true)..But this come puts me back to gauging the if being a stag is better or going in as a couple.

I Listed 5 points why going in as a Stag is much better than going in as a Couple.

1. As a Couple once inside the discotheque your vision is subjected to the chick your with. Any focus outside of that limited spectrum is immediately faced with suspicion and stone glares. As a Stag its completely the opposite, your Vision is absolutely scattered across the place. You’ll probably look at those 2 HOT Chicks dancing the night off like they want to make out with each other (YES!! Guys you cannot deny you have never such a pleasant sight)

2. Your area of grooving to the music is confined around your chick. You can shake a leg, but your hands will have to be close to your body. Any attempt to out dance your chick is met with this one line “Please! Stop that your Embarrassing me”…yeah I know every guys ego takes a hit. Compare this with being a Stag, your probably dancing every freaking where. Your inside the loo, pissing the night off, but surely if the music is good and you can hear it then your shaking your hips on. Your dancing so crazy, that you have cleared the dance floor completely just for yourself.

3. As a couple you surely have heard this “Baby I am hungry”. You think to yourself “Should I cook for you now!!!”…hey then you go to search for a waiter inside a crowded discotheque with people moving and shaking and you getting hit pretty much everywhere. You finally get someone to take your order for “Chicken Chilly” and when it arrives you see your girl eating that as if it was first time anyone’s had any food and later comment “It wasn’t that good. My stomach’s gurgling”. Yes Woman It will especially if you have it like that. In a Stag Life, when your hungry, you just snatch some food left unattended at a table and eat that shit no matter how bad it tastes.

4. Drinking for you when you are a Couple in a Disc, is reethed with confusion. Confusion being, you will never know how much your Girl has drank. And if she has drank alot, you will never know if she will fall down or talk silly. So in this confusion, you are either pissed drunk or just high (stage before being pissed drunk) but you know one thing for sure, you are God Damn Responsible to ensure that she is taken care of..No Matter how bad a condition you are in..As a Stag, you are down nasty drunk, your puking all over the place…and you feel your on top of the world. And its your good Ol Friends picking up your pieces and ensuring your home safe and sound.

5. The next day you get a call from girl asking how the night was, and did you enjoy it. Well with rye smile on your face you tell her “Babes It was one of the most amazing times Ive ever had” but you know your kidding yourself so bad, that even Devil is laughing his shit out. As a Stag you don’t need a call from friends, cause they all recovering from a freaking Hangover and they all know we all Rocked The Night!!

Cheers Till Later!!

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