Photo Credit: Bob Doran

Success can be described in many ways, but it would be hard to argue that a 21-year old immigrant from Austria transforming himself into a champion bodybuilder, Hollywood action star, and governor of the state of California is not the epitome of the word.  Arnold Schwarzenegger emigrated to the United States with little knowledge of English or the culture and yet has become an influential figure in American society.  In May 2009, Governor Schwarzenegger delivered a commencement address at the University of Southern California during which he outlined his “Six Rules of Success” summarized below:

1. Trust yourself – Look inside yourself to find out what you really want.  Schwarzenegger urges people to “dig deep down, dig deep down and ask yourselves, who do you want to be?  Not what, but who?”  Arnold recalls as a young boy wanting to go to America to make something big out of his life.  His family initially dismissed his ideas, but Arnold held true to his strong inner desires and succeeded beyond his dreams.
2. Break the rules – We all know Schwarzenegger’s famous line from Terminator:  “I’ll be back.”  Now imagine that line being spoken without his trademark accent or by someone else.  It just would not be the same. Well, many agents initially felt Arnold would not make it in the movies because of his thick, Austrian accent and his freakishly large bodybuilder physique.  He did not fit the mold of the traditional movie star.  Arnold refused to follow the rules and through determination, perseverance, and a little luck, became a huge Hollywood action star.
3. Do not be afraid to fail – Schwarzenegger freely describes some of the failures he has encountered, including certain box office flops.  He has conditioned himself to not be afraid of failure because of the limitations it places on the possibilities. If you are paralyzed to the point of inaction because you are not guaranteed success, you will never push yourself to your limits and realize your ultimate potential.  Do not be paralyzed by the fear of failure.  It will hold you back!
4. Do not listen to naysayers – There will always be people who will tell you that you will not succeed.  There are many ways to react to these types of comments. Schwarzenegger responds by being proactive when people tell him that something cannot be done.  He has developed the ability to channel the negative messages of the naysayers into positive internal energy.  He uses the desire to prove the naysayers wrong as additional motivation to accomplish the improbable.  His life story is a great lesson in how wrong people can be about what is possible.
5. Work your butt off – There is no way around hard work.  Even with his impressive inner strength and no-fear attitude toward failure and naysayers, none of Schwarzenegger’s major accomplishments would have been possible without hard work.  Most things in life that are worthwhile require great effort.  Of course, there are those fortunate few people that seem to bumble into great success.  However, we should not let these isolate cases deceive us into believing that great rewards will magically fall into our laps.  A little elbow grease is a necessary ingredient in the formula for success.  As Arnold says, “you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.”
6. Give back – In pursuing success, in whatever form you desire, Schwarzenegger urges you to give back.  Whether your cause is your local community, poverty, or abused animals, remember to think beyond yourself and lend a helping hand.  Success is not only measured by what is best for the person in the mirror.  As Arnold reminds us, “Tear down that mirror. Tear down that mirror that makes you always look at yourself, and you will be able to look beyond that mirror and you will see the millions of people that need your help.”

Link to text of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s commencement address:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2009/05/arnold-schwarzenegger-usc-graduation.html

Photo Credit: Billy Frank Alexander

Here are five ways to put positive thinking into action and harness its power:

1. Don’t let the routines of the day make you forget what you have – You live better than kings did just 100 years ago.  People are so caught up with having the latest iPhone or shiny new car that they do not appreciate how good they have it.  Even those on welfare in the United States live a luxurious life compared to 90% of the rest of the world.  Apartments in the projects usually have air conditioning, heating, and cable television.  These things are not a birthright.  Go to a developing country and you will gain an appreciation of this fact.  Learn to think positively by focusing more at what you have, instead of what you don’t have.  This is something we are often reminded of at Thanksgiving dinner but something we forget on a day-to-day basis as the routines of the day occupy our thoughts.  Make time to be grateful on a daily basis.
2. Surround yourself with positive people – You will absorb their aura of positive thinking just by being around them.  Positive thinkers develop much better coping strategies to deal with life’s little unexpected surprises.  The best way to learn these strategies is to study others and see how they handle situations.  Once you begin to habitually think positively, you will in turn attract more positive people to your life.  That’s because positive people are attracted to other positive people.
3. Learn to look at things through the eyes of a child – Children are universally loved because of the way they view their surroundings with wonderment and appreciation.  Just because you are not an innocent child does not mean you cannot harness this trait.  Appreciate the feeling of your bare feet on the grass at your local park.  Appreciate the silly humor of a simple comedy like The Three Stooges.  Not everything needs to have a meaning.  You can just kick off your shoes and have fun.
4. Learn to see what is around you – When you go on vacation, you are likely to notice a charming little restaurant and give it a shot.  However, on the way to work, we often will not look twice at some of our surroundings.  There are plenty of little gems to be discovered if you become more conscious of the numerous untapped joys in your own neighborhood or area.  We have become immune to our surroundings because we are not turning on our “adventure mode.”  Learn to turn on your “adventure mode” and turn the mundane into the wildly fascinating!
5. Follow a blog or two about positive thinking – If someone is willing to invest his or her time on a daily blog about the subject, you can bet he/she is passionate about positive thinking.  A small investment of time, say five minutes, reading blog entries will serve as a daily reminder to keep practicing positive thinking in your daily life.  As much as we can be inspired by the power of positive thinking, left to our own devices, we let the inspiration fade away.  If we act on the inspiration, especially in the form of daily actions, we can make real improvement and learn to make positive thinking a habit.  If you set up an RSS feed (it’s simply really…if you don’t know how, Google it) to a couple of positive thinking blogs, you’ll be helping to create the powerful habit of positive thinking.

Photo credit: Bethany Carlson

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

Positive thinking is an energy source that is not tangible, but its benefits cannot be denied. It has the power to transform lives. Great achievements and successes throughout history can be directly attributed to the power of positive thinking.

Here are three compelling reasons to adopt positive thinking practices:

1. Positive thinking and attitudes are contagious and favorably impact your surroundings – We’ve all had that grumpy, pessimistic co-worker or friend that seems to carry a storm cloud of negative energy with him or her every day. Being around someone like that will often bring you down as well. Similarly, positive thinking is also contagious but in a good way. If you look at things with a positive attitude, you create a more upbeat aura. You carry around “good weather” with you. Don’t you owe it to your loved ones to think positively?
2. Positive thinking helps you solve your problems – We all have problems from time to time. The magnitude of the problem or issue is often what we make of it. Positive thinking practiced often will enable you to become more solution oriented. Instead of wasting energy in the form of disempowering negative thoughts and attitude, positive thinking keeps your mind flexible and open to creative solutions. In fact, what might be an unpleasant problem to one person would be a fun challenge to a positive thinker.
3. Positive thinking correlates to a happier, healthier life – People who have positive attitudes are generally happier in life and have better stress coping strategies. It is important to realize that happy people do not have everything. However, they tend to make the most of what they have in their lives. This does not mean you need to stop striving for whatever goal you wish to achieve. It just means that you must learn think positively and appreciate and enjoy what you have while you are in pursuit of your goals. In addition, positive thinking also has physiological benefits as well. In one study by Suzanne Segerstrom, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Kentucky, positive thinking was shown to support subjects’ immune systems in stressful situations.

Despite the myriad benefits that positive thinking provides, some people will tell you that positive thinking is overrated and is nothing more that pop psychology. Here are two frequently espoused myths and why we (and why you should also) reject them.

• Myth #1: Positive thinking doesn’t change reality – It DOES. Often, reality is a matter of perception, meaning it is not absolute. Two examples are being fired from a job and having someone dump you. Surely, someone experiencing either of these events would be stressed out and/or sad. It is healthy and normal to experience frustration, stress, and sadness. However, allow yourself only a set period time to indulge yourself in these emotions. Limit your self-wallowing response and be prepared to respond to the negative event. With positive thinking and action, you can turn an otherwise negative event into something positive (e.g. getting a more rewarding job; finding someone that gives you a greater sense of fulfillment in a relationship that you didn’t even think existed).
• Myth #2: Positive thinking won’t get the job done – It is true that positive thinking ALONE will not accomplish everything, but without the right attitude and a belief that an obstacle can be overcome or a problem solved, then unsuccessful initial efforts may resulting in quitting. For instance, achieving a long-term goal such as sculpting a healthy physique can be derailed without positive thinking. There may be setbacks during the process, or results might be slow in arriving. Positive thinking will bolster your determination and allow you to continue to exert the necessary effort to achieve your desired result. Think of positive thinking as the fuel that powers the car called perseverance.

Photo Credit: Julien Tromeur

The United States has become a nation of overweight children and adults.  Lifestyles have changed over the past several decades to the point that convenience has transformed our eating patterns.  It is hard to drive down a street and not notice the hordes of fast food restaurants with window signs touting cheap eats.  Millions of Americans engage in serial dieting, losing and gaining weight in a seemingly never ending see-saw battle.  The key to losing weight and keeping it off requires changing your eating patterns.

It is a very simple yet overlooked concept that calories count.  Plain and simple, if you want to lose weight, you must consume fewer calories than you expend.  The more you exercise, the quicker your metabolism becomes and the more calories you burn.  Many people fail to understand that you make your own metabolism and prefer to adopt the victim mentality that they “have a naturally slow metabolism.”  Having a defeatist attitude will get you nowhere.  Accept that you must get your heart rate up in order to accelerate your metabolism and the calories you burn.

So, now that you’ve adopted the right attitude, how do you keep your calories in check?  We present five tips that will get you started on the road to changing the way you eat and helping you shed those extra pounds.

1. Make a commitment – People want to lose weight, but often they are not committed to doing what it takes.  Realizing that some sacrifice is necessary is vital.  It often helps to put your commitment into writing and posting it somewhere, such as the refrigerator or your car.  In writing your commitment, be specific about the reasons you want to lose the weight.  Seeing those reasons written on a piece of paper will serve as a reminder of the benefits we will obtain by staying committed.
2. Begin keeping a food diary – This is an important step to help you realize how many calories you are actually consuming each day.  Many people either do not realize or are in denial regarding how many calories they actually consume.  Keeping a food diary takes work, but if you are serious about losing weight, it is essential.  Those labels on foods are there for a reason.  Even if you eat out, most restaurants have nutrition information posted on premises or available online.
3. Eat fewer processed foods – Processed foods tend to be calorie dense.  Even a small bowl of potato chips can be more caloric than a grilled chicken breast.  By eating fewer processed foods and replacing them with vegetables and lean meats, you will feel fuller while consuming fewer calories.
4. Understand your eating patterns – Many of us have poor eating habits that are triggered by certain events.  For instance, when stressed, many people will use junk food to help them cope.  Others may find it hard to resist that particular favorite fast food joint on the way home from work.  By understanding your triggers, you can develop strategies to either avoid them or lessen their negative impact.  For example, instead of using junk food as a stress reliever, choose a healthier option, such as substituting an apple instead of a bag of chips.
5. Monitor yourself – You may need to consciously monitor your own progress.  This means doing more than hopping onto a weight scale.  You need to be reflective about how you are doing in terms of improving your eating habits.  Like any habit, good eating habits take time to develop and are reinforced by repetition.  A good habit, just like a bad habit, becomes second nature over time.  By monitoring your own development, you will be more successful in losing weight and better positioned to keep those pounds off.

Photo Credit: Penny Matthews

These tough economic times have created misery of proportions not seen in several generations. Perhaps your stock portfolio has taken a dive, or you might be one of the many millions of unemployed. Even if you have been luckier than most during this downturn, you have probably curtailed your expenses with the economic uncertainty hanging in the air like smog over Los Angeles. Stretching every dollar is important, but completely putting the skids on your social life is not an option you want to consider. There are plenty of enjoyable things you can do to keep your social calendar full while keeping an eye on your budget.

A Casual Cup of Coffee

While it is an age-old venue, the local coffee spot remains an ideal place for a date. Meeting for some lattes and scones makes for a fabulously simple first date because it is very inexpensive and, more importantly, conducive to great conversation. After all, getting to know someone is the best part of dating. Also, an invitation to have coffee is more likely to be accepted, as it does not require a commitment to a “full date” such as dinner and a movie, which has stronger relationship overtones.

Volunteering

Wouldn’t you like to help the world and get your social groove on at the same time? Asking someone you are interested in to join you for a day of service at the local homeless or animal shelter goes a long way in demonstrating the compassionate, caring side of your personality. You will also be reminded of just how lucky you are when you help the less fortunate. If you are not already involved with a volunteer organization, visit www.volunteermatch.org to get connected up with a cause you can get behind.

Museums

Many museums have seen attendance improve markedly during the current economic slowdown, reclaiming their reputation as one of the best values for your entertainment dollar. A museum is a wonderful place to invite a potential love interest and a surefire way to add culture and refinement to your social life. Examining and discussing dinosaur fossils or famous paintings with that special someone can be both mentally and emotionally stimulating. Check with your local library or search online for a list of local museums and exhibitions. Be sure to inquire if the museum you are interested in visiting offers free admission days or discounts.

Dinner at Home

A big budget buster for the socially active is eating out. All those meals can really add up to a sizable portion of your weekly budget. Instead, consider preparing a home cooked meal. This will save you serious bucks and could score you points with your date. In addition, a dinner date at home lets you control every aspect of the ambience and meal. For guys who feel they do not have the requisite culinary knowledge to pull this off, a piece of advice:  If you put as much time into researching recipes and cooking as you do to making your weekly fantasy football picks, you should be able to put together a fairly elegant meal that will be appreciated. For a more romantic setting, just pull out some scented candles and put on some good mood music.

I once met a man who was wildly successful in everything he chose to do. Mr. Kim was a fine businessman who made gobs of money, had a great family life, and was a pillar of his community. I approached him once and asked him for his secret. He told me something that seemed to come straight out of a self-help book and then proceeded to explain what he meant.

At first, what Mr. Kim shared with me seemed somewhat corny and simplistic. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me. What Mr. Kim told me was that at the end of each day, as he lay in bed, he asked himself a simple question: What did I accomplish today? He would then let his thoughts dance around his head as he composed an answer. As Mr. Kim explained it, this nightly ritual took only five minutes and was done in complete silence.

During one evening, his thoughts might center on a major purchase like a new commercial property. This accomplishment represented a sound investment that would add more dollars to his net worth. Beyond the material benefits, however, for Mr. Kim money represented the ability to help others. He was a large donor to his church and also enjoyed having the freedom to help his kids realize their own dreams through his financial assistance.

On other nights, the accomplishments reflected upon could be relatively minor. Mr. Kim might ruminate on something as simple as having greeted an angry looking stranger on the street with a smile. You may ask, “Where is the accomplishment in that?” As Mr. Kim made clear, these little moments are what you make of them. In his mind, the little things were often more rewarding than the grandiose. Smiling at a stranger was confirmation that Mr. Kim was in control of his surroundings and not the other way around. He controlled his environment.

The smile was also a gift, an olive branch to his fellow man, a person he did not know. One gesture in itself might not make a difference, but Mr. Kim reasoned that doing things like this would have the same effect as drops of water on a giant boulder: Each drop by itself does not make a dent, but, cumulatively, the droplets carve and shape even the toughest of stones over time.

As he drifted off to sleep, Mr. Kim would review his answer and think about what he did right and what could be improved upon. He would resolve to do better next time and to learn something new each day. He would not see dramatic changes, at first, but before he knew it, almost by magic, he found himself becoming wealthier in terms of his personal development and fulfillment, material wealth, healthy and satisfying relationships with his family and friends, and an overall calm and controlled demeanor.

I was impressed by Mr. Kim’s simple yet powerful words. I realized that we can all benefit from this mental exercise of self reflection. Each of us can spare a meager five minutes each day to review our actions and strive for improvement. Personally, this little ritual has made an impact in my life. Almost without fail, each night as I lay down, I ask myself what I accomplished during the previous twenty-four hours. Sometimes, I struggle to find meaning in my day. Other times, I revel in something wonderful I was able to see to completion. No matter my conclusion, though, I resolve to do better the next day and that has made all the difference.

It is said that you learn something new every day. Can you point to something you learned today? How about yesterday… or the day before? If you can honestly answer “yes,” then good for you! If you answered “no,” or struggled to find something meaningful, then perhaps you are not putting forth enough effort. Just like your muscles, your brain will atrophy without stimulation. And without the stimulation that learning provides, it is easy to let your thoughts and mental acuity stagnate. In addition to the mental health benefits of learning, it also makes life that much more enjoyable and interesting. Learning should be not an activity that ends when you complete high school or college. On the contrary, it should be a lifelong endeavor.

Learning needn’t be a tedious chore or an unwanted distraction from your daily routines. Make time to learn something new each day, and watch it make a big difference in your life. Inject a little creativity into how you can make learning fun. If you enjoy interactive learning, you may want to investigate the course offerings of your local community college. If time is a serious constraint, you can multitask by downloading a podcast on an interesting subject from iTunes U and listening to it when you’re at the gym. If you enjoy spontaneous learning, visit Wikipedia each day to click on the Random Article link. If you want your learning to have practical applications, download recipes from from allrecipes.com or other websites to improve your cooking skills. The possibilities are endless. No matter how you choose to go about it, making the nonstop pursuit of knowledge a daily habit will improve the quality of your life substantially.

Thank goodness it’s Friday! Life seems so wonderful when Friday rolls around. Getting out of bed is easier on Friday mornings. People at the office are cheerier on Fridays. What if you could experience the sense of optimism, anticipation, and happiness that comes from that “TGIF feeling” almost anytime? Well, you can! Before you pessimists out there begin to tune out, give me a couple of minutes.

You can harness that TGIF feeling just by making a concerted effort to be thankful more often. For years, psychologists have studied negative emotions and their causes. Only in recent years has the study of positive emotions gained more attention. Studies have revealed that thankfulness and gratitude are strong determinants of a person’s happiness and well-being. As children, we are often taught to be thankful for such simple but important things as food on the table or a loving family. As adults, we often forget these lessons during our busy lives. Instead, we are more preoccupied with relatively trivial matters such as getting granite countertops or the latest high-definition television for the house. It often takes a tragedy or serious adversity to bring the important things back into focus. A woman who cannot bear children can appreciate how wonderful a family would be. A man who loses a leg to amputation realizes how precious simple mobility is. You get the picture.

Why can’t we learn to be appreciative and grateful for what we have? For many, the reason is that we always want more. It is natural to want more for ourselves and our loved ones. Certainly, being thankful does not mean we must stop striving to improve our lives. However, in striving for more, we need to be conscious of the things we already have in our lives and learn to appreciate them. The happiest people aren’t those who have the most but those who value what they already have. Like any trait or skill, thankfulness is something that we can develop through consistent practice until it becomes a habit. Whether you need to keep a written gratitude list or set aside two minutes each day to mentally think of things to be grateful for, the key is to practice being thankful until it becomes second nature. By making thankfulness a habit, you will undoubtedly experience more happiness and serenity in your life.

If you are reading this blog, chances are good that you were fortunate enough to be born in a developed, industrialized nation.  Most of us probably take for granted privileges that people in other countries can only dream about.  For 5 out of 6 people in this world, those born in developing nations, harsh economic realities make survival a daily challenge.  Even if you wanted to work hard to better your condition, the environment would be next to impossible to overcome.  Wouldn’t it be nice to “lend” a helping hand to those who want to work hard to better their lives?  I recently discovered a non-profit organization named Kiva that connects people through lending in order to combat poverty.   (Here’s my lender profile on Kiva.)

Kiva makes microloans (sometimes as little as $25) to people in developing countries to help them work towards improving their own economic conditions.  These microloans are often the only source of financing for some of these people.  The sources of these funds are regular folks like you and me, who want to be part of the solution and provide opportunities to those less fortunate.  The average loan size is about $200, and often several lenders participate in each loan.  You might think that the default rate is astronomically high, but according to Kiva’s website, current repayment is 98.78%.  In essence, we get a chance to be lenders, while Kiva and its field partners find worthy borrowers in various developing nations.  Instead of the recurring handouts that create dependence, Kiva gives people an opportunity to participate in their own economic betterment.  Kiva takes care of the disbursement of the loans and collection of the repayments.  All you have to do is care enough to “lend” a helping hand!