LifeTwo blogs

One Treatment for Midlife Crisis: Healthy Food?

Greg — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:30:13 -0800

Here at LifeTwo we believe that 'midlife crisis' is often a normal depression that happens in midlife. So anything that reduces the risk of depression also reduces the risk of midlife crisis.

New research from the UK suggests that eating well -- fresh vegetables, fruit, and fish -- reduces the chance that you'll have depressive symptoms. On the other hand, a diet high in processed and fatty foods increases the odds that you'll feeling depressed.

A team from University College London, writing in the British Journal of Psychiatry, is said to be the first work to look at the relationship between overall diet -- rather than specific nutrients -- and depression. The found that the 1/3 of people who were closest to the best diet were 26% less likely to be depressed five years later than the 1/3 with the worst diet. High consumption of processed food was associated with a 58% higher risk of depression symptoms five years later.

The researchers removed the effects of age, gender, education, smoking, exercise levels, and chronic diseases.

Possible explanations for the effect include:

fruits and vegetables are high in antioxidants, which have been shown to lower the risk of depression
fish contains certain fatty acids which may protect the neuron membranes in the brain
the variety of nutrients in a 'whole food' diet may have an overall benefit

The flip side of this is that processed foods increase the risk of coronary artery disease and inflammation, both of which are associated with depression.

What could be wrong with this study? For one, it's survey-based, so people who eat better may simply feel better about themselves than people who eat poorly and know it. For another, the study can only report the relationship between diet and depression, and not prove causation -- it's possible that depression leads to poor diet, although the study looked at diet first and depressive symptoms five years later. And while the researchers statistically removed the influence of smoking and the other variables listed above, there could be an unknown lifestyle factor that explains the differences. Also, the survey population, though large enough, was a demographically narrow group of white London-based civil servants.

Nonetheless, to the many reasons to follow a health diet, add one more.

--- Sources and further reading:

UK National Health Service: "Processed Food and Low Mood"

Medical News Today: "Researchers Say Healthy Diet Protects Against Depression In Middle Age"

OnMedica: "Depression Linked to Junk Food Diet"

Guardian: "Mediterranean diet 'can help stave off depression'"

British Journal of Psychiatry: "Dietary pattern and depressive symptoms in middle age" (abstract)

If Having Sex Meant You Were Married

Dating Goddess — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:01:12 -0800

I attended a lovely Jewish wedding last weekend. The bride was resplendent and the groom handsome as they stood under the chupah in front of the rabbi (the bride’s father) and the cantor (her god-father). Outside at sunset, the family and friends stood ringing the couple on the grass. The cantor’s sweet singing, including a song he wrote for the bride, soared in the crisp evening air. Candle luminaria lit the lawn on which we all stood, and a lone guitarist strummed entrance and exit music.

I’d arrived early, and my friend (the bride’s mother), showed me and another couple the quaint sleeping rooms in the inn where the ceremony and celebration were held. In showing me the bridal suite, she mentioned that in traditional or Biblical Jewish tradition, when a couple has sex they are then considered married.

Wow!

I spewed out, “Crap! How many men would I be married to then? And can I get alimony?”

But my smart-aleckness aside, it made think how we would approach dating sex differently if doing the act meant we were then married.

Sex – even in midlife – has a broad spectrum of acceptability. One study in the UK showed half the over-40 dating women said they’d be willing to have sex on the first date. Others, like Steve Harvey, say no sex for 3 months. Some people won’t have sex until engagement or marriage. I’m not here to tell you what you should do.

But imagine how you might shift your feelings about when to have sex if doing it meant you were married to the man. That would certainly put the kibosh on booty calls and casual sex.

Thinking of sex with this gravity makes me realize there are very few men with whom I would have been intimate. It puts a whole new spin on the significance of sex.

How would you have led your life differently if having sex meant you were then married? How would it affect how you date now?

_____________________

If you’d like to explore issues relevant to midlife dating sex, order your copy of "From Fear to Frolic: Get Naked Without Getting Embarrassed." http://www.DatingGoddess.com

Book Review: "Be The Change"

Wesley — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:51:36 -0800

Though ancient, the practice of mediation is enjoying significant contemporary popularity. But can meditation help with midlife and/or marital woes (the subject of this site)? Authors Ed and Deb Shapiro of "Be The Change" believe it can be applied to these and just about every other aspect of life. The Shairo's cover the topic via observations of over 100 meditation practitioners. Sources include celebrities such as Ed Begley, Jr., Ellen Burstyn, Jane Fonda, Kitaro, Lindsay Wagner, and many others.

The result is 300 pages of lessons, observations, and anecdotes addressing the practice from all possible points of view. Beginners might yearn for a more "how to" approach to the subject. But the approach that the authors have taken provides far more insight into what one can accomplish with meditation and the impact it can have on society as a whole--noting that change may start with the individual but it doesn't necessarily stop there.

From an article supplied to us by the authors:

Mahatma Gandhi famously said, "You must be the change you want to see in the world." In other words, change has to start within ourselves; we cannot expect the world to change if we do not. If we want to have more love in our lives, we must become more loving; if we genuinely want to end terrorism and to bring real and peaceful change to the world, then we must start by ending the war within ourselves.

This brings us to the importance of contemplation and meditation. Without such a practice of self-reflection, we are subject to our ego's every whim, and we have no way of putting a brake on its demands. Meditation, on the other hand, gives us the space to see ourselves clearly and objectively, a place from which we can witness our own behavior and reduce the ego's influence. We get to know the madness of our monkey mind and until it loses its hold. Only then do we have a genuine opportunity to change.

Amazon Link: Be the Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World

Blogging Boomers Carnival # 137 is at Fabulous After 40

Wesley — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:36:49 -0800

The BloggingBoomers Carnival is a collection of fun and interesting lifestyle posts from some of our fellow bloggers who author some of the best boomer blogs on the net. This week it is being held at Fabulous After 40. Follow the link, discover and enjoy.

The Happiness Project Book is Almost Here

Wesley — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:34:06 -0700

We all want to be happy but how exactly does one go about becoming happy? This is a particularly vexing question because there are so many different, and sometimes conflicting, approaches to maximizing one's happiness. In response, Gretchen Rubin took a year of her life to test-drive the different theories using herself as both a guinea pig and a sample size of one. The result is her new book, "The Happiness Project":

Rubin weaves together philosophy, scientific research, history, analysis, and real-life experiences as she explains what worked for her—and what didn’t. Her conclusions are sometimes counter-intuitive – for example, she finds that money can buy happiness, when spent correctly – but they resonate with readers of all backgrounds.

Rubin's upcoming book promises to contain the same engaging and insightful writings (and tips) that have made her so popular in the blogsophere.

Amazon link for ordering (or pre-ordering): The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

BloggingBoomers Carnival #136 is at Contemporary Retirement

Wesley — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:41:47 -0700

This week's installment of BloggingBoomers is at Contemporary Retirement. Follow the link for find a collection of interesting articles collected from participating blogs all dealing with midlife living.

Fast Times for Jobless Athletes

Wesley — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:28:26 -0700

An interesting artifact of the recession has been that millions of week-end warriors have being able to become "weekday warriors" as well leading to faster running times, better jump shots, and heavier bench pressing. Last summer the Wall Street Journal noted "with the economy in the doldrums, more people are discovering that without those 12-hour workdays, they're able to pursue fitness goals like never before. Marathons, triathlons and road races are filling up in record time."

The Journal further noted anecdotal evidence that laid-off runners are actually pushing down race times. Using one measure (the number of races qualifying for the Boston Marathon), there was a 39% increase over 2008.

Training while unemployed has a number of benefits. It provides structure, confidence and of course better health. You don't have to do a marathon but it goes without saying that you should do something health-related with your new found time.

Source: WSJ

Lost Your Zest? Get It Back! by Chloe JonPaul from her book "Entering the Age of Elegance"

Chloe JonPaul — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:02:03 -0700

“The most creative force in the world is a post-menopausal woman with zest.” ~ Margaret Mead Lost Your Zest? Get It Back! Many years ago, I heard a sermon that focused on attitude. The part I especially remember dealt with how a person can greet a new day. One can say: “Good God! Morning! or “Good morning, God!” The latter appealed to me as a solid expression of a certain zest for life. Until then, I hadn’t thought about whether this quality was apparent in my own life. Since then, I have become more aware of its presence, not only in my life but in the world at large. Unlike patience, perseverance, and empathy, zest does not depend upon certain circumstances to induce it. It is free-form and uninhibited; suited to every moment and purpose. It is the “how” of intense, vigorous A pursuit of what is at hand: challenging the uncharted sea or simply smell- ing the roses. Zest is the hallmark of athletes and mystics; prophets and politicians. 93 It deals with the manner and intensity in which things are done. It is not confined to any particular ethnic group. Yet, there are groups who exhibit it with a particular flair. Consider the Greeks and their wild plate- smash- ing spectacles at a party. Plate-smashing for them is a fine indicator that a good time was had by all. Have you ever watched Polish youth as they stomp and shout through their endless polkas? Such revelry! Such gusto! Such zest! Religion and history are studded with personalities who displayed zest. You can work your way through the Old Testament and David with his marvelous psalms to St. Francis of Assisi with his passionate Canticle to Brother Sun and find zest. Alexander the Great ruled with it. And what about the Vikings and Columbus? Surely they explored with it. Our Pil- grim Fathers, Revolutionary heroes, and western pioneers fashioned our country in a spirit of zest and passion for life. Zest can be readily identified in theatrical productions. Who can for- get the brawny, lusty Zorba in Zorba the Greek or Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof with his rendition of “To Life”? The relish for life comes through in the paintings of such masters as Delacroix and Toulouse-Lautrec. Their style, color, and subject matter re- flect a keen enjoyment of what they observed and perceived. One’s spiritual life can be lived with zest as well. That venerable Bene- dictine monk, Dom Hubert Van Zeller, had the formula for it in his book, We Die Standing Up. Sports and zest are easily correlated. We see it on the tennis courts, on the football fields, and across the land with countless Little League players. There is a myriad of musical compositions that must be played with zest: Italian tarantellas, Jewish horas, national anthems, and military marches. The Madison Avenue guys and gals have cornered the market and popularized it in their commercials. The Pepsi generation drinks with it; Old Milwaukee Beer fans go whaling with it; and odor-conscious people shower with it. Life without zest is drab and uninviting; with it, satisfying and color- ful. Those persons who cultivate it are blessed with gratification in all that can be felt and accomplished in the daily celebration of life.

BloggingBoomers Carnival #135 is at the Baby Boomer Entrepreneur

Wesley — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:10:10 -0700

This week's BloggingBoomers is at the aptly named Baby Boomer Entrepreneur. Follow the link for their picks for articles and posts from participating blogs--all of whom focus on midlife living and survival.

What can 21 days do for your attitude?

Deborah Hayes — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:31:52 -0700

When you wake up in the morning what’s the first thing you think? Is it: “What a glorious day, I can’t wait to get up and see what this day brings.” How about at the end of the day? Are you smiling, feeling creative and energized? If not, do you think your attitude would be better if you thought more positively?

Negative habits seem to creep into our lives without our realizing it. It can start when we experience a challenging episode and before we know it we slip into a pattern of thinking negatively; which is the opposite of a Positive Attitude. Whether you call it law of attraction, positive self talk or simply having a great attitude I think most of us can agree it seems the best things happen to us when we are in a positive happy confident frame of mind.

Read the following statements and mentally decide if you agree with them or not:

Positive people are usually successful.

Successful people think positively.

Positive people are happier.

Positive people SMILE often.

Positive people possess a good sense of humor.

Positive people are desirable companions.

Creative people think positively.

Confident people think positively.

Positive people handle stress better and succumb to it less often.

Positive people are healthier.

Positive people have more energy.

Positive people have higher immune systems.

Sound good? You know no one is born negative. Negativity is not genetic! A positive attitude is the result of simple effort and a conscious decision. Anyone can make the choice to develop and maintain a positive attitude.

The definition of a HABIT is a regularly repeated behavior pattern. An action or pattern of behavior that is repeated so often that it becomes typical of somebody, although he or she may be unaware of it.

Why not start practicing some daily habits to become the positive person you want to be.

Practice starting your day on the right note. How you mentally start your day sets the tone for how the entire day will evolve. Try beginning each morning actively thinking about the perfect day you are going to have and visualize exactly how you want it to turn out.

Practice finding positive aspects in the unexpected occurrences that might interrupt your planned day. There is a silver lining and a brighter side to anything that happens. If you spend time and energy dwelling on a negative chances are good you might completely miss the opportunity that might be beneath it.

You absolutely need a war cry! Create or choose a quote or saying that you identify with. This should be something that inspires and assures you that your goal or dream is achievable. Say it, think it and read it often until it becomes the voice you listen to when you need to drown out the naysayers. We all encounter a lot of those throughout our days. Learn to trust yourself, not be afraid and be your own cheerleader.

Practice the habit of complimenting yourself many times throughout your day. This is the simplest act to do and oddly enough proves to be the hardest for most of us to cultivate. If you can master this one habit it will not only improve your attitude but it will boost your self esteem faster than anything else you can do.

Change your normal routine often. Although it would likely be impossible to completely change your entire routine, making even small changes to what you normally do can force you to think about what you are doing and keep you more in the moment. Recent research indicates stimulating and changing our environment does have an effect on our behavior and personalities. As an example, wouldn’t you find it inspiring to walk in a beautiful park every once in a while rather than on the same treadmill in the same room every day?

They say it takes 21 days to create a habit and it’s always easier to tackle change with support. Enlist some friends, coworkers or your mate to join you in your effort. If you find you need more support sign up for the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment course at www.womenintransitiononline.com It’s free, it’s easy, it’s fun and it works; at the end of three short weeks you could be in the habit of thinking positively.

Newsweek: Letterman is not alone; Workplace affairs on the rise

Wesley — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:54:12 -0700

Much ado this week about David Letterman's forced acknowledgment of his affair with his assistant Stephanie Birkitt. According to research reported in a recent Newsweek story they are far from alone in engaging in an office romance:

In 2006, a survey by career-research company Vault found almost 60 percent of employees in America confessed to having had an office relationship, up from 47 percent in 2003; 9 percent of those who had not had one said they wish they had.

Companies that try to combat this type of behavior are up against workforce shifts that have more women working more hours.

In his book MicroTrends, pollster Mark Penn declared that "the office has become the 21st-century singles bar. Water is the next gin and tonic, and Muzak the new club beat." Which is a very unsexy way to put it. But given the expanding number of women and singles in the workforce, and the surge in working hours for those ages 25 to 34, the office is going to become a crowded, if unflatteringly fluoro-lit, bar.

Failing to end such dalliances, some companies are resorting to romance "contracts" insuring that both parties are coming into the relationship on equal footing and that the affair is consensual and equitable.

Regardless of the corporate approach, workplace affairs are a real, and growing, trend in corporate America.

Source: Newsweek

BloggingBoomers Carnival #134 is at Hole in the Donut

Wesley — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:21:56 -0700

This week's midlife blog carnival the BloggingBoomers is at Hole in the Donut. Follow the link to find summaries of an interesting collection of midlife living blog posts from around the blogosphere.

Brain Health Update: Marketing, Science, and Geography

Greg — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 12:44:33 -0700

A roundup of interesting brain health news:

Brain Workouts Gain in Popularity, But Buyer Beware

"Consumers and retirement homes have made brain-fitness games and exercises a commercial hit, but now some insurers and employers are incorporating them into wellness programs that promote health not just for the body but also for the mind." -- MarketWatch.com

"Thousands of Americans are choosing to join a small, but growing, number of "brain gyms" springing up around the country. Similar brain-teaser programs are available on home computers, sometimes free of charge. The scientific jury is still out on the efficacy of such software." -- The Wall Street Journal

"The Stanford Center on Longevity today, on behalf of 30 of the world's finest cognitive and brain scientists, released a statement providing public guidance on products claiming to improve mental fitness and the science behind them. ... 'Fear of memory loss, mental impairment and Alzheimer's disease lead many consumers to search for products -- from supplements to software -- that claim to ward off such ailments,' Laura L. Carstensen, founding director of the Stanford Center on Longevity, said. 'Such products are becoming more prolific, but this burgeoning industry is completely unregulated and the claims can range from reasonable though untested, to blatantly false. It is important for consumers to proceed with caution before buying into many of these product claims. There is no magic bullet solution for cognitive decline.'" -- Stanford Center for Longevity press release

(thanks to SharpBrains.com for pointing out the first and third items)

Another study confirms mentally stimulating activities cut dementia risk

"Mind-stimulating leisure time pursuits, like crossword puzzles, were found to be significantly associated with a reduced risk of dementia and Alzheimer's disease over the 4-year follow up period.

By contrast, Akbaraly's team observed no protective effect from physical, passive, and social leisure activities such as doing odd jobs, gardening, walking, watching television, listening to the radio, or visiting with friends."

source: Reuters

Does where you live affect brain health?

A study looked at 21 indicators of brain health in the 50 states and the District of Columbia.

"The top 10 ranking geographies in the nation for brain health are the District of Columbia, Maryland, Washington state, Vermont, Connecticut, Colorado, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Maine and New Hampshire. The two states that could use a brain boost, after ranking the lowest in the nation, are Alabama and Louisiana. ... The Index indicates that residents of the top 10 brain-healthy states tend to make smart nutritional choices, watch their waistlines, avoid smoking, read for personal interest and put a high priority on education."

The news article is here and more detail on the study is here.

Money can't buy everything

ElizabethSamuels169 — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:12:21 -0700

theres something money cant buy, but antique cost a lot,, and lastly lets have time to save endangered animals.:p

Table manners: Knife and death at dinner

Dating Goddess — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:45:06 -0700

I’ve heard men say that women are too picky about unimportant aspects of a man’s behavior. I think it depends on what one considers important and unimportant.

Many women would consider table manners important (or somewhat important). Few of us appreciate a man who chews with his mouth open, talks with his mouth full, licks his knife or lowers his head near the plate to more easily shovel food into his maw. Yet men who have these behaviors haven’t a clue they are important, and would probably rebuff anyone pointing out their bad manners.

Yet for women, this can be a deal breaker with a man who hasn’t ingratiated himself to her. If she is on the fence about a guy, his table manners can be the kiss of death — the only kiss that will be present that evening.

Last night is a case in point. The guy was pleasant, nothing glaringly wrong, although he seemed to have some difficulty finding topics to discuss. I drew him out and shared relevant information. Dinner arrived. He cut off large chunks of his chicken Parmesan and stuffed them into his mouth as he continued to talk. The spaghetti, which is hard to eat gracefully under any circumstance, was consumed via large forkfuls, then protruding stands slurped in. This was punctuated with large draughts of bottled beer.

Our potential romantic partnership fell to the other side of the fence — with a thud.

I wondered — briefly — if I was being snobbish to not be enamored with uncouth table manners. I decided, no, that my partner must be someone with whom I can feel comfortable in polite company. Not that I attend society balls, but I do dine with bank-president clients and worldly friends and colleagues. I can’t be with someone whose table manners are embarrassing.

In the past, some beaus’ dining etiquette was so bad it elicited comments from my family members after the event. One licked his knife in a white-tablecloth restaurant. I don’t relish making excuses for loutish behaviors.

If you chew with your mouth open or talk with your mouth full, stop. If you don’t know which water glass or bread plate is yours at a table for 8, get educated. It’s really not hard — information is easily available. Or maybe you don’t know you’re doing something others would find oafish. Ask someone who you think would know proper manners and get their discrete feedback.

___________________ If you’d like to know more signs to look for on a first date, that you may not think are obvious, download your copy of "First-Rate First Dates: Increase the Chance of a Second Date." http://www.DatingGoddess.com