Life. Unordinary.

The 7 Year Itch

2012-02-06T21:54:00.005-05:00

OR THE 3 YEAR GLITCH?

That is the question.

So who doesn't know about the 7 year itch? The tipping point of adultery. Where men let their wayward eye (and wayward other things) get the better of them. Where if you make it past the 7 year itch you're golden, good for life. If you don't then you find yourself a therapist and a really good lawyer. We all know that .....

But the 3 year glitch? Apparently an up-and-coming study says that this is where little irritations become major issues after 3 years. An article even suggests "Is the 3 year glitch the new 7 year itch?"

According to another article, some of the Top reasons for these glitches:

Weight gain/lack of exercise - Have ya seen my recent pictures?
Anti-social working hours - Have I told you the story of how I sometimes wake up at 2:00am to bright lights and think I'm dreaming, only to discover that the husband is plugging away on his laptop? Have I? Have I?
In-Laws/extended family - *Coughs*
Alcohol - drinking too much - I guess we're okay here.
Snoring & anti social bedtime habits - Refer point 2
Bathroom habits - Stray nail cuttings etc., - This one could be a list of its own, starting with wet bathroom floor. Stray nail clippings are mild.

Dear Universe, I think I have me a glitch. Many of them! Do I run for the hills or wait for the glitch to become an itch?

Happy Anniversary SK :) It has been an amazing 3 years. (glitches and all).

Keep Running

2012-02-02T23:21:00.004-05:00

Someday soon I will tell you about the 3 amazing women who are doing this with me. For now, we have to keep running.

Exploring the World of Romance Fiction

2012-01-29T21:25:00.014-05:00

I am an AVID romance fiction reader. Sometimes I wish I didn't love the genre so much. I wish I could say I love reading biographies. I mean, how much more important does that sound? Lettuce versus arugula... rice versus couscous? But no, romance it is and I have embraced it, every last sappy bit of it.

I got this bright idea of listing my favorite sub-genres of romance fiction yesterday, while chatting with my friends. So this is my humble attempt at classification.

1. Contemporary

Read single girl in a big city. Has experienced heart break. Maybe divorced and not really looking for love. But love finds her - right when she's least expecting it. In short, a Jennifer Aniston movie in a novel. There usually is a sub-plot, maybe with a sister, Mother or a best-friend. These books make for serious reading but have happy endings.

My Favorite: Sandra Brown

Other Authors: Elizabeth Lowell, Catherine Anderson

2. Chick-Lit

Short for Chick-Literature. Meaning no man would be caught dead reading this stuff. In my mind, chick-lit is much like contemporary romances but MUCH LIGHTER. Also, HUMOR plays a big role in these novels. The protagonist is usually a putz, a train-wreck going through life with tons of sass. She rips her pantyhose, spills her coffee and is usually strapped for cash, working two jobs one of which is at a pizza joint. Get the drift? She’s funny and bright.

My Favorite: Jennifer Weiner

Other Authors: Sophie Kinsella (from the shopaholic series fame), Michelle Cunah.

3. Romance – Suspense

Think Nancy Drew (and Ned Nickerson) and fast forward to ten years later. These books have a ton of romance but the romance is shrouded in robberies, strange disappearances, murder, local killings or a suspicious family rift. Love finds its way home only at the end of the book, once the mystery has been solved and the bad guys are behind bars.

My Favorite: Nora Roberts

Other Authors: Heather Graham

4. Historical

Let me start by saying this is my all-time FAVORITE genre. Also broadly known as the Regency era novels, these books are mostly based in Britain, in the 1600s onwards. The stories sweep you away to an era where women wear corsets and ride in stagecoaches, where men wear cravats and are Earls, Viscounts or Dukes. There is sensuality and love, balls and the beau-monde, curtsying and clandestine affairs.

There are different kinds of historical romances, based on the period – Victorian, Georgian, Regency. You also have American & Medieval historical romances.

My Favorite: Mary Balogh

Other Authors: Barbara Cartland (light reading), Philippa Gregory, Clare Darcy, Victoria Holt. Stephanie Laurens.

5. Frontier/Western

Two words – Pure American. These books take you from the ranches of Texas to the valleys of Wyoming. The Frontier woman is strong and bold. Her red hair is testament to her fiery will. These books bring out the best of small town and rural America. Where the widowed ranch owner (a cowboy down to his boots) and his two daughters fall in love with the feisty high school teacher and where everyone knows everyone else.

My Favorite: Debbie Macomber

Other Authors: Carol Finch, Kathleen Kane

There are others of course – Futuristic romances, vampire-moster romances (like Twilight) but those aren’t for me.

What have I missed? I’m sure there are many more classifications and tons more to read.

Showing Some Love

2012-01-26T21:03:00.012-05:00

I'm profiling 3 wonderful bloggers today. In the highly competitive blogging space, teeming with one too many writers, it's so important to identify and carve your own niche. These bloggers have done just that. I enjoy each of their blogs and visit often for updates.

Giribala - T he Grist Mill

Go look up the word if you don't know the meaning. I didn't! It took me a while to understand her style of writing. One word. SATIRE. Giribala is the Steven Colbert of the Indian blogosphere. She hones in on the issue of the day, often a political malaise in India, and provides commentary with wit and mockery. Her insights lead to introspection of many misguided Indian ideologies.

As proof, I present a Republic Day blog post from her archives that she re-posted today - Read here.

Extra: I met Giribala at a friend's party last year and we have shared blogging tips with each other ever since.

Parinita - My Shades of Yellow

Yes, Parinita. Long before Vidya Balan made it fashionable. I admire Pari because she too chose a road less traveled (referring to the younger sister). That's not to say I don't respect the engineers and IT professionals of the world but it takes balls to do something different. Pari is a professional photographer. Her husband - a professional chef. Her blog - a culmination of both their skills - scintillating photography of the art of preparing and presenting delicious food.

Check out her mouth watering clam and muscle spaghetti recipe here.

Extra: Pari and I are cousins. Second Cousins. Our Mums are first cousins. While she lives in Seattle, like me, her soul is in Mumbai.

Rachna - Rachna's Sciptorium

Rachna writes about the art of writing. In a world of amateur blogging, Rachna shows us what the real thing is all about. How to Create Characters, How to Develop a Plot, Finding Your Publisher, Pen Names..... her content is so rich and useful to people like me - the wannabe folk. An author herself, her own style of writing is easy to read and follow.

One of my favorite posts is The 3 S's Readers Love.

Extra: In my professional life, we provide strategy and consultation to corporate blogs and help them develop a brand personality online. Yesterday, as I was drafting a document for a client about their blog, I kept referring back to some of Rachna's old notes. That's how good she is.

The Separation

2012-01-22T19:46:00.006-05:00

Wherein I dispense advice. The marriage kind.

And then, just like that, last week, out of nowhere, she wrote about their separation. Heather, my favorite blogger from Dooce.com. It was a sock in the gut. A what-the-f***-are-you-talking-about moment. You are Heather the fabulous Armstrong - blogger extraordinaire. Savvy businesswoman. PR genius. Crazy stylish. SuperMom and yeah fantastic WIFE. I mean, 2 days ago you wrote about the girls and Jon and new years and hair and food and your perfect life!!!!

So what happened?

I feel personally affronted - as if I should have somehow known. It just goes to say how little, and I repeat, HOW LITTLE, you know about the next person's life. Even with a person like Heather (or myself) who writes publicly about her life, there is so much that is left unsaid.

I had to re-read the post to make sure I read it right the first time. Oh Heather, I feel so sad.

In what continues to be a time of celebrity divorces (Heidi Klum and Seal - the latest??) this one saddens me the most. Maybe because I feel like I knew her - through her writing, of course. Even the @MrsKutcher and @AplusK split wasn't as bad :(

And that's what brings me to the advice part of this post. Last year, around the time of my 2nd anniversary, I wrote a similar post - A Tip or Two. That was intended to be light and self-deprecating. This one, today, is a tad bit more serious.

5 No-Nos for fights:

- It's okay to sleep over a fight. Contrary to what the world says. Things always seem much worse in the night than they do in the light of the morning.

- Physically extricate yourself from an argument when you feel like it's heading south. Another room. A book. A drive.

- Don't ever, EVER, bring in the in-laws. Because then there's only one way that fight is going - downwards.

- Don't YELL. Goddamit woman, put those pipes to better use.

- Last but not the least (and this one I struggle with the most), hold back on the smart-ass snipes. Even if you have the perfect rebuttal. The male ego is a fragile thing.

This song is for you Heather. Adele did a fine job with it.

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead...

Of old friends and old places: Houston

2012-01-17T21:36:00.009-05:00

And just like that, we found ourselves in Texas, on a surprisingly chilly Saturday morning.

My SIL lives in Houston and we hadn't visited her since her graduation, 3 years ago. It was always “in the works”. It’s one of those things you know you will do and you want to do but you just don’t know when. And then, a few weeks ago we received an Evite to one of SK’s best bud’s son’s first birthday.

The tickets were booked.

For the husband, it was a walk down memory lane. For me, it was the ability to put a face to the people and places I’d heard so much about in these past years. Our first stop was the University of Houston and Cullen College of Engineering, the husband’s alma mater. From the cafeteria to the library where he arranged books as a Grad Assistant to the very ghetto apartment community and bookstore, I saw it all. Soaked it in.

(Still a Cougars fan)

Saturday evening was the birthday party. I met about 6 of SK’s old friends and was content to sit by and listen to old stories. Old stories are the best – no matter how tainted the experience may have been then, eight years later they’re worth solid gold. Even a mugging tale seems funny, even good.

(With the sweetest little birthday boy, ever)

On Sunday evening we found ourselves at AG’s home. AG and myself are old school friends from Bombay. We met two days ago, 15 years after we graduated from high school in 1997. What can say? She is as pretty as ever, only now she has a little one who she has passed her loveliness onto. She did her Masters degree in Petroleum and works in the DRILLING department with an oil company in TX. DRILL BABY DRILL. How smart is my friend?

Makes my world of PR seem humble indeed.

(15 years later)

We got home late last night with the sinking feeling that the mini-vacation was all over and reality was but 8 sleepy hours away.

But then, along with all those old memories, we made some more. A nice consolation indeed.

Happy Birthday G Junior

2012-01-10T22:11:00.006-05:00

Close on the heels of the husband's birthday is the little sister's.

January 10th.

Happy Birthday G.

There can never be a Gayatri without a Gauri.

(2009 at my Mehendi ceremony)

(2010 in Atlanta)

Social Media Junkie

2012-01-08T21:09:00.007-05:00

I met someone recently who was poo-poohing social media networks. He/She doesn't have a profile on any of the sites and like many who have no clue about the industry, cast aspersions about those of us who "spend too much time on Facebook". It rubbed me up the wrong way, lemme tell ya.

First of all, Facebook is only one part of social media. Blogs, video sharing sites (example: Vimeo/You Tube), microblogs (example Twitter), location based tools (example: FourSquare), professional networks (example: LinkedIn), photo sharing sites (example: Pintrest), music based sites (example: Pandora/ Spotify) are all a part of social media. It is so much more than you can image.

Here are 5 things to know before you look ya nose down the next time:

It is a billion dollar industry. Companies spend millions on Facebook branded pages, custom Twitter feeds, You Tube channels, corporate blogs, Flickr accounts, etc.
There are governing laws on this space for brands, laid down by various marketing boards, that we have to adhere to.
There is something called Social Brand Voice that we create, refine, store in hundred page documents and execute on a day to day basis. It defines how brands speak to their customers on this space.
Brands spend thousands of dollars on what is called a Conversation Audit. This is where we audit everything that's being said about a particular keyword, product, service, industry on the social space, using sophisticated monitoring tools. The next time you tweet "#BarackObama 2012", know that the Obama camp is gathering that data. The next time you comment on Facebook "Girl With A Dragon Tattoo - the book was better than the movie" - know that you are being heard - by more than just your 549 friends.
And yet, all this social media, is only one part of Digital Marketing.

I guess I'm peeved. Just because you're still listening to music off your CD player and are scared to buy stuff online, among other things, don't be all judgmental on the rest of us who "don't care about our privacy on Facebook". Gah!

On a lighter note, here was a good trending topic on Twitter last week - #AmITheOnlyPersonThat. I compiled some of my favorite.

And a few of my own:

#AmITheOnlyPersonThat doesn't care about Beyonce's new born? Ivy Blue, Blue Ivy. Last I saw, ivy was green.
#AmITheOnlyPersonThat feels so, so, so melancholy every Sunday night?
#AmITheOnlyPersonThat wants it to snow and shut down Atlanta again this year? Because I want to live in my pjs, 4 whole days, so bad.

Malgudi Days

2012-01-05T21:16:00.008-05:00

So we're almost through week 1 of the new year. I feel as if this slow lethargy has gripped not just me but everyone around me as well. How else would you explain that the only other vehicle on the road this morning was a monstrous eighteen wheeler, carrying eighteen other 4 wheelers? (math puzzle for ya) Or the fact that I was able to leave work at 5:15 this evening?

Anyway, I have to write about the parcel that was at my front door this evening. The parcel was from my Mum and along with some other things was a big box of Punjab sweets. Punjab is one of the oldest and finest sweetmeat stores in Mumbai. They are at the foot of Pali Hill, right where the 214 bus makes a final turn to the last stop, at what is probably one of the busiest intersections of Bandra. I remember that we'd never find parking and my Mum would leave me to guard the car from over zealous towing vans while she quickly hopped into the store and back. Half a kilometer down that road is my old school.

I see it as if it were yesterday. I miss it all.

*****

Malgudi Days was a famous television show in India, in the eighties, possibly early nineties. It was based on the works of the renowned author R K Narayan. Malgudi was a fictional small town during pre-independence India. The first series was about a little boy Swami and his escapades growing up in this small town. Every episode usually had a moral at the end - usually about honesty, hard-work, respect.

Malgudi Days was a quintessential part of Indian television and there are few who don't remember it with fondness.

I have been observing the husband watching disjointed episodes on You Tube, which is what prompted me to buy the DVD set. Sometimes the just-like-that gifts are the best ones.

Ta na na, tana nana na....

Long Live the New Year

2012-01-02T19:50:00.006-05:00

And another year is here. How weird is it that I feel little excitement? I'm still inhaling stale fumes of the festivity gone by. Do I really have to wait a whole 12 months for that pumpkin spiced latte?

I realized two nights ago that there are TWO ways to party. If you're the partying sort, that is. The FIRST way is my way - you do it all, peak and pop within the first 2 hours of the night. As is with most things I do, it's always a mad dash to the finish. Even when it's not a race. The SECOND way is as some of my other friends would do. As LS says, "Young is the Night". He parties slow and steady on an even keel and reaches a crescendo at 4:00am. That was some new year insight for you.

So 2012 huh. Would it be odd if I said that one BIG thing I’m really excited about is the general elections and the 8 months leading up to it? I love politics. I love the fervor of the campaign trail. This is probably the biggest interest that SK & I have in common. American politicking is that much more interesting because it’s process-oriented, systematic and transparent (you can disagree). And while I do support Prez. O, I am willing to hear what Mitt Romney has to say. The country needs a good businessman right now, and he may be the one.

2012. No resolutions. Yes, there are 1-2 things I’d like to accomplish. But the moment I call them a resolution, I’m already on a downward spiral. Lemme just say GOALS and lemme just keep them to myself for now.

The husband turns 32 in two days. He was 26 when we first met and used to call himself DJ Sent. Now he’s just old and grouchy. Has his coffee without sugar. But Imma keep him. He has his uses, like swaddling the Christmas tree in Bombay Dyeing bed sheets and hauling it away until next Christmas.

Boy does that sound far away, or what?

2011 - The Highs, Lows & Mediums.

2011-12-20T23:37:00.005-05:00

It has been a good year.

- A year of HARD WORK. I joined a new firm last year at this time and had my 1 year anniversary last week. A new team, new role, new clients - it takes a while to prove oneself, to assimilate. The only thing that's not new anymore, is me.

- A year of GRADUATION. The husband's.

- A year of HOSTING. Friends and family. My in laws spent the summer with us this year. Memorable indeed. Some things should come with a manual.

- A year of PILLS. I tried weight loss pills for the first time this year. Healthe Trim. Yes, Healthe with an E at the end. That should have been warning enough.

- A year of TELEVISION. I have become hooked onto the Kardashian's show. Watched about 8 republican debates in the last 4 months. Woke up at 4:00am for the royal wedding and developed a secret crush on Kate. Now have a grudging admiration for Bill O'Reilly.

- A year of turning THIRTY. And getting tattooed.

- A year of PASSING. My darling Grandmother passed away. My accomplishments will never match hers. She was co-founder of the Indian School, Bahrain - back in the 50s. Only later did we find this wikipedia link.

The school was started, in 1950, with a workforce of three staff and a Headmistress. One of the three staff members was an Indian with name of Mrs. Vasanthi Rao whose husband Mr. Athavar Krishna Rao was working for British Petroleum in Bahrain.

- The year we put up our own CHRISTMAS TREE. Because it's not about religion. It's about festivity and joy. And after his trademark token resistence, guess who's the first to turn on the lights on the tree every night?

- The year I met Indra Nooyi. Exclamation point.

- The year we have been asked many many times - ANY GOOD NEWS? My answer is always the same - we're not there yet.

- A year of FRUITION. And fulfillment. For some things at least.

For the next 10 days of 2011, I have revelry, wine and food written in my stars. Dear Blog, I'll see you on the other side.

Gayatri.

Best Infomercial Yet

2011-12-14T23:00:00.009-05:00

And you thought you saw it all with the P 90 X workout videos - bulging muscles that would put Popeye to shame. But then came THIS. This special brand of infomercial reserved for that one of a kind person watching television on a weekend evening.

The Genie Bra - 1 whole hour of no wires, no hooks, no straps.

No wires, no hooks, no straps - you wonder then what this contraption must look like. I originally uploaded an image for your vulgar viewing but then my delicate sensibilities got the better of me. You can check out the Genie bra here.

And if you'd rather not - lemme tell you, you aint missin' nothin'. It has the combined sexiness of a ruck sack and a dish cloth.

It must be noted that genie bra is the first word that comes up on the Google search tab when you enter the word 'genie'. Obviously no one respects the magic lamp anymore.

WTF is Genie Intellicode?

5 Ways to do Good This Christmas

2011-12-11T22:24:00.006-05:00

Maybe the CNN Heroes show I just saw inspired this post. Or the play we saw last weekend – A Christmas Carol – where the miserly, grouchy and unkind Mr. Scrooge turns a new leaf after a visit from the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come. But mostly, I think I’m inspired by my colleagues, so many of whom give so much of themselves and their time to do so much good, all through the year.

For those, who are like me and cannot find it in themselves to do extraordinary good deeds, here are some small, easy to achieve ideas instead.

5 Ways to do Good This Christmas

1. Donate Money

A little goes a long way. You can try JustGive.org, a database that aggregates charities and allows you to make small donations online to the organization of your choice.

2. Donate Stuff

It’s Christmas and everywhere you look there’s someone raising funds for a noble cause. Drop a dollar into the Salvation Army box outside the Kroger at your next visit. For the guy in the Santa suit and tinkling bell – make it worth his while! Or contribute to whatever local program your company is supporting – like the Toys for Tots drive at our office. I was surprised to see 4 bicycles donated in a few short days.

3. Volunteer

Give of your time.

4. Buy from Small Businesses

Buy your greeting cards, goody baskets and gifts from the shop around the corner this year. Macys, Godiva & Hallmark have a shitload of money. They don’t need yours.

5. Sustainable Christmas

Have a Green Christmas. Reuse the wrapping paper and gift boxes. Decorate with energy efficient lights. Buy a pesticide-free tree or better still buy one you can reuse. Recycle the waste.

I know I know. It’s time to practice what I’ve just preached. I promise to check off at least 3 of the 5 items on this list.

On Pintrest

2011-12-07T23:41:00.008-05:00

....... for you husband....

so much bigger

************

And to my wonderful parents, Happy Anniversary.

Things to Do before 12/12/12

2011-12-04T18:15:00.024-05:00

Seeing that the world will end next year, (Yes, we believe in our Mayan brothers), I figured it's time to chalk up a list of sorts. It's a rolling list, and the closer we come to doomsday, the longer this list will grow.

This is a humble list. Not fancy shmancy. I don't want to bungee jump off the Empire State Building or zipline atop a tree in Bora Bora. Of course, it's another matter that I'm rather too large to zipline. That careening noise will be me hurtling downwards. Doomsday will come much sooner than I expected.

So here it is:

- Attend a Barack Obama rally. This one especially has a "limited time" tag on it - with both the world and the President's tenure seemingly on their last lap.

- Learn to make a good Chicken 65. I don't know exactly how this ever popular Hyderabadi preparation got its name. Some say that the most authentic version demands 65 ingredients. Others say that the soon-to-be-slayed chicken must be exactly 65 days old. The most outrageous account I've heard is that the chicken must be cut into 65 pieces. (At that point you're really looking at Chicken Mince or a Turkey 65). Whatever the real story is, I'd love to learn to cook it.

- Lose weight. Y'all, it's no fun being a muffin top. No fun at all.

- Read the whole "Dragon Tattoo" trilogy.

- Speaking of tattoos, get a second tattoo, because one is not enough. This one on my ankle. I was warned that it's addictive. What can I say, I'm a hapless victim of ink art.

- Buy a piece of property in Mumbai. To put real estate in perspective, my parents' flat in Mumbai costs a little more than our house in Atlanta. This one has been on my list for a while, I can't seem to find the cash!

- Play poker in Vegas again. Sit at the BIG BOYS table, "Call" the burly, sun glass sporting man next to me, "Raise" the Asian guy - the one with the biggest stack of chips. SO MUCH FUN.

My poker tip for the day - don't fold a Jack pair, ever. They will bring you luck!

More to come.

****

This was a CLEANING UP sorta weekend. The biggest job was the yard. It took us about 3 hours to collect 4 bags full of fallen leaves.

Not the Country I knew

2011-11-28T20:17:00.014-05:00

I have to comment on 3 different news pieces that I read in the Times of India over the long weekend. Each headline so bewildering to me in that they would have been unheard of when I left, almost 10 years ago.

I. Delhi's Queer Pride Takes to the Streets

SINCE WHEN? Since when has Delhi been queer and since when has there been pride? I'm bemused. It's like I took a little nappa and Delhi got gay. My simple thought on homosexuality is this - so much, SO MUCH has changed and morphed and advanced and transformed since the holy books were written, shouldn't then the institution of marriage and love also be allowed the same?

This is apparently the 4th year of the Delhi Queer Pride parade and people took to the streets with much joie de vivre.

Go Delhi!

II. India's Supply Chain Chaos a Hurdle for Global Retailers (Walmart)

I happen to be married to a Supply Chain expert and this next paragraph is his observation.

Walmart's set up in America is based on regional (not local) distribution centers. The retail giant relies on the superior highway and road transportation system to ensure that goods reach the individual stores on time. This is one of the reasons why prices are allowed to be kept low. This set up will not be possible in India. India simply doesn't have the infrastructure yet. Walmart will thus have 2 big choices - either have local warehouses and/or stock large inventory in the stores, both of which will increase prices.

Either way, I believe that Walmart, Target who knows what else, will be good, so good, for India.

III. Sharad Pawar Slapped

The epitome of a corrupt Indian politician - Sharad Pawar. His wikipedia entry has an unending list of the charges against him. The SLAP that he was landed by a common man, a few days ago, a further testament to India's growing outrage and intolerance for corrupt politicians. My friends on Facebook are proudly calling for a 'Slap A Politician' day!

Again, not the India I knew.

A rather "Kolaveri Di" Thanksgving

2011-11-24T00:18:00.004-05:00

I am so READY for the long weekend. And by READY I mean give it to me right now. Dip it in chocolate and give it to me. The last 3 weeks at work have been very hectic - lemme just say those time sheets are lookin' good. The utilization is at a full hundred.

The downside? I am so tired and I'm looking forward to some much needed rest, relaxation, food and beverages. The ADULT kind. In the agency world, Q4 is the busiest with every brand demanding our best marketing chops for the Holidays. Long days bleed into long evenings and nights.

I heard the KOLAVERI DI song yesterday. It has apparently been trending on Twitter for a week now. It even made it to the WSJ. KOLAVERI DI is doing to me what HAKUNA MATATA did to me all those years ago. It became this incessant feel good song ringing in my ears.

I urge you to check it out. Language no bar.

I have a feeling that this one is gonna stick to me through the weekend. Which is why it's going to be a rather "kolaveri di" Thanksgiving.

Be grateful for what you have and aspire for that which you don't. Happy Thanksgiving All.

A South Indian Wife

2011-11-20T22:12:00.013-05:00

The Day Before

Friday afternoon is when we make our weekend plans, and it's usually over text messages.

"Let's see a movie"

"Sure"

"Which one"

"You pick"

And so I picked Harold & Kumar - A 3D Christmas.

We left at 9:30. I wore my thick socks and carried my shawl. I was so READY. I was salivating over the thought of some solid raunchy humor. My mind was thinking all sorts of SHIT jokes. But then, somewhere between good drool and the theater a FIGHT BROKE OUT. SK parked the car and I refused to get out. He started to force me and I held onto my seat belt. And then, ALL OF A SUDDEN, I felt him driving away.

HELL AND DAMNATION HE WASN'T ABOUT TO CALL MY BLUFF.

I remember myself starting to whine that I did want to see the movie but we were home before I knew it. I went upstairs and he remained down. Half an hour later he came up with a big bowl of ice cream.

The FIGHT was history and so was HAROLD & KUMAR.

I give this free advice to every single couple out there - don't lose out on some solid SHIT JOKES because of a fight. If you really havta, do it over a B grade Jennifer Aniston movie, or something.

Yesterday

Online shopping is quick and painless. I highly recommend Ideeli - an online retail store with all sorts of wonderful. The only risk you're running is that of SIZE. But then, I'll take that over ghastly fitting room mirrors any day!

So for SK's office Holiday party yesterday, I had bought this awesomeness of a dress from Ideeli that turned out to be a shade too small. So last week, I had no choice but to drag my reluctant behind to the mall. I picked out a dress which when I tried out yesterday morning didn't quite look the way it was supposed to. That often happens to me, I can make a sexy pleat look like a pudgy flounce or a delicate pin tuck look like a piece of stretched cloth. At a spouses office party you have a certain role to play and with my kinda "layers" its a slippery slope between tasteful and trashy.

Third time the charm. BARELY. I made a mad dash to the store yesterday afternoon and just about managed to find something that worked. The spouse said I looked "NICE". I aint complaining, after all that work, I would've settled for OKAY.

Today

My MIL says that a South Indian wife must know how to make 5 kinds of chutney and 7 kinds of rice.

For the record, the 5 chutneys are as follows:

- Coconut

- Cilantro

- Onion

- Tomato

- Ginger

The 7 kinds of rice are:

- Yogurt/Dahi Rice

- Sambar Rice

- Lemon Rice

- Tamarind Rice

- Coconut Rice

- Tomato Rice

- Cilantro Rice

I've made none of the above.

Until today!!!!! (this deserves 5 exclamation points)

2 out of a list of 12. Not bad at all.

St. Joseph's Convent - Questions Answered

2011-11-14T21:36:00.005-05:00

It was the oddest sight at the food court - there amid the desperate Holiday shoppers at the mall, the din and the drone, the high school kids in overdone eye shadow (I want to just yell at them - you have the rest of you lives to wear ugly eye shadow, just enjoy being in high school for now) the strollers, the Chinese food guys peddling their Teriyaki chicken on toothpicks, the pushing and the hustling, I saw the 2 little boys, no more than 5 years old, heads bowed, hands folded, saying the Grace Before Meals.

It touched my heart y'all. There's a certain sanctity about a child in prayer. The funny thing is - I know the Grace Before Meals, said it for the 10 years that I was in school, right before we breaked for lunch each day. The rare instance that I do bring it up at work, that I studied in a Convent school in India, I find myself embroiled in deep explanations - which is why I rarely bring it up in the first place.

So today, I'm here to debunk a few Convent Education myths, based purely on some of the questions I've been asked. For the record, I studied at St. Joseph's Convent, Bandra, Mumbai.

- The Convent school system in India is much like public schools in America - largely funded by the state with nominal tuition/fee for students.

- Unlike public schools BUT like many private schools in America, uniforms are mandatory. Uniforms are usually a neat, knee length pinafore with a sash and a tie.

- You DON'T have to be of Christian faith to attend a Convent school in India. All religions are welcome.

- The schools are run by nuns. Mine was run by The Daughters of the Cross. Our nuns were all Indians and while some wore the habit, many others wore a sari. We had regular teachers as well, like my Mum.

- Discipline could have been a course by itself and I am so grateful for the many things we learnt. You stand up while answering a teacher – which to me is so basic but not enforced in many schools, as I recently learnt. You wear your socks pulled up, you ask for permission before entering a class if the teacher is there before you “Miss, May I come in?, you stand in a neat file during assembly and you say the Grace before Meals!

- Yes, we had several sex education classes, starting in the sixth grade.

-And finally, No BOYS, it was a girls-only school.

The picture above was taken in 1997, my final year in high school. Seated on the second row in the beige sari is our Headmistress/ Principal, Sister Flavia. Thank You!

The Things You Learn While Browsing The Net

2011-11-10T23:39:00.008-05:00

(Clearly, I'm running out of ideas for interesting post titles. Coming up with a good title is the hardest part. I'm so tempted to sometimes write "What I ate for breakfast" or "Why is my husband so pesky?" Who needs puns or clever little phrases?)

Headline 1

Birth Control Pill Affects Memory

http://uk.health.lifestyle.yahoo.net/contraceptive-pill-can-affect-memory.htm

"Taking the contraceptive pill can affect how a woman remembers things, research suggests.

A study found that women using oral contraception were better at remembering the emotional aspects of an event, while women not using it were better at remembering the specific details.

The researchers were quick to point out the study findings did not show that the pill damages memory, just that it appeared to change the type of information that women retained in their memory."

Dear Universe - Now what does that make me? A grudge-holder who also happens to remember specifics, down to the crummy detail? I mean, I havta still forgive SK for the "nightgown" remark from 3 years ago. Just because a dress is satiny doesn't mean it's a nightgown. Obviously, CHIC (K) for you is nothing more than a baby chicken!

Headline 2

Stressed Women More Likely to Have Baby Girls

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/8830036/Stressed-women-more-likely-to-have-baby-girls.html

"Prospective parents hoping to have a son and heir should just relax, according to research that suggests worried women are less likely to give birth to baby boys.

Scientists who monitored women in the months before they became pregnant found that those who were suffering from long-term stress had more girls"

It can SAFELY be said, that if I ever overcome the effects of oral contraception, memory loss, memory gain, amnesia, what all and what not AND if SK & I ever get around to the procreation bit, then the el ninos will surely, surely be all GIRLS!

Be Happy, Find Your Peace & Stay Fabulous

2011-11-07T23:23:00.002-05:00

This poem was once shared with me and I'm passing it on to a certain someone.

(I hope you know who you are)

Desiderata - by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

I Dream Of You

2011-11-03T22:28:00.003-04:00

Well, let me first put it out there that I rarely, if ever, have dreams. Which is what makes my story today extra special. I wonder if dreams are a reflection of some reality, even the most random ones. (like the time, many years ago, I dreamt of a dead chicken. Go figure. I'm not letting that one go....obviously).

A couple of years ago, I used to be a regular listener at this Dream Doctor show on FM. Listeners would call in with the most bizarre dream and the good Doctor would interpret it for them. Let's just say it made for a more interesting morning commute. There are only so many bumper stickers you can read!

I have dreamt of my Grandparents, three times in the last month or so. Not once. Not twice. But THREE times.

- The first dream I don't remember. Just that I woke up thinking of them.

- In the second one, I saw my Grandfather's house. I saw myself in it. My Grandfather had a beautiful house and sprawling land in Dharwar, a quintessential small town in India, in the early nineties. I always consider myself so blessed to have spent several idyllic summer vacations plucking low hanging fruit and chasing my cousins down rows of coconut trees.

I dreamt of that house.

- In the third dream, I was right by my Grandfather and we were opening a Facebook account for him. (because it's obviously not enough that I spend half of every waking hour on Facebook. Now I dream of it too. I am THAT person.)

I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable, rational explanation. The earth is round. Gravity is not a myth. You dreamt of your Grandparents thrice because you spoke to SK's Grandmother on the phone the other day or because that Debbie Macomber you read had a Grandmother-Granddaughter story....oh I don't know. It could be anything.

I don't want to over analyze it. It takes away from how special the dreams were to me. I want there to be no explanation. JUST LIKE THAT. FOR NO GOOD REASON. Everyone needs a little WHIMSY in their life. And this one is mine.

Yes to the Dress

2011-10-30T20:52:00.015-04:00

There are several benefits to working on the upper floors of a tall building - the view for one is quite fabulous, the ordinarily invincible highways seem like toy roads in Lego land and there sometimes is a feeling of floating among clouds what with fog being accentuated at higher altitudes and all. So it’s all quiet nice – UNTIL YOU HAVE A FIRE DRILL.

When the alarm sounded, like clockwork they changed out of heels and into sneakers and flats. It turned out that an email was set out the previous day which I for some reason did not see. As I gingerly made my way down 29 floors, high heels, narrow, circuitous stairway and all I realized just how not-in-shape I am. While others jaunted, I had to pause for breaks. I almost buckled over several times. There were pregnant women and older women (which I initially thought is unfair – they should be allowed to sit out the drill but then again, a fire doesn’t discriminate). I made it down finally and many days later I’m still hurting.

Imma tell ya Universe – if that goddamn building ever catches fire, you’ll be seeing me much sooner that you imagined.

***********************

I have come to absolutely love the TLC show "Say Yes To The Dress". In this show, the bride and her party (usually bridesmaids, mother and mother-in-law) go dress shopping. And several hours of tulle, lace, sequins, beads, satin, tears, tantrums and meltdowns later, the bride says YES to her dress.

And each time, I'm transported back to my own 'Yes to the Dress' (or should I say sari) process.

Sari shopping in Bombay and Chennai are two very different experiences. My MIL took me to one of the best and most renowned sari stores in Chennai. The salesmen at a Kanjeevaram sari store in Chennai are almost arrogant - the conceit stems from the knowledge that their craft is nothing but the finest. I remember the rather taciturn salesman gently easing each sari out of the zari encased arrays of silk and displaying each one almost reverentially. There was no desperation to make a sale, almost as if he knew that the product needed no embellishment, by way of a lofty sales pitch .

(My beautiful Kanjeevaram saris, the ones that sold themselves)

Bombay was another world. So entirely different and so entertaining. From the moment you step into the 3 or sometimes 4 story sari store and announce that you're bridal shopping you receive this over-the-top cloying attentiveness from all. Tea is served and you are comfortably seated, after all this is where you'll be for the next couple of hours. There are several salesmen fawning over you.

"Madam, Madhuri Dixit pallau madam"

"Madam Turkish style, latest madam"

And on and on. It takes a seasoned shopper, like my Mum, to hone in on just the right sari. With floor length mirrors encasing every wall and at least two salesmen draping the sari around you in just the perfect way, you are guaranteed to feel nothing short of SPECIAL!

And that was how I said YES to the DRESS.

10 Diwalis and Counting

2011-10-26T22:19:00.006-04:00

- For the first time in the history of the bullion market, the price of gold (white gold) topped that of platinum. I wonder what this means for the gold-bedazzled Popley & Sons on Turner Road. Do they make even more money? Is that even possible?

- ICICI is offering a 5 paise or 1 cent bonus on NRI money transfers between 10/1 and10/31. I mean, we're talking serious dough here.

- Comcast cable sent us a special Asian dish network promotion, a Diwali bonanza. I have no clue how they knew an Indian family lives here. Could be the curry wafting ....

- I made kheer. Secret ingredient condensed milk. (The only sweet item I made)

- An old Barack Obama Diwali greeting is doing the rounds - as it does every year. I still dig it, the "Saal Mubarak" at the end is what does it for me each time.

- SK and I actually did a small Laxmi puja at home. I finally got out all the beautiful pieces of silver puja items that I amassed during the wedding.

- I included a small Diwali write-up in the Fall issue of our neighborhood newsletter and was happy to receive several "Thank you for sharing that with us" comments.

- I had decided to leave work at 3:00pm today - to get home early and do something special. It was 6:40pm when I finally left.

After 10 years of being away on Diwali, you really learn to make do with the little you have. Even the over priced, over orange jalebis at the Indian store look good. And after 10 years, during this time of the year, there still is absolutely no place like home.

Take It or Leave It -That Is The Question

2011-10-19T22:35:00.010-04:00

Y'all, I have an odd sorta problem. I'm not quite sure if I'm committing an offense by keeping the darned magazines or if it's the other way around and I'm the one who's a victim of a scam.

Since the start of this year, I've been receiving issues of Women's Health magazine every alternate month. I have not subscribed to it. I don't subscribe to such stuff. I don't need a magazine to tell me how unhealthy my habits are. That's the job of the Wednesday night pizza. It is not a gift subscription either- I have asked around. It is not a mistake because it comes in my name - if GAYADRI is my name, that is.

(As far as misspellings go, this one takes the cake. No wait, it takes the whole damn confectionery store.)

But I have to tell ya, I have been enjoying the read. New tips to spice up your sex life, bikini ready in 5 days, Anna Kournikova hot bod overnight, I mean, this is classic bathroom reading y'all and I have been reading this sh** (pun intended) for the last 1 year for FREE!

So here's my dilemma:

- Don't disturb the status quo and risk being slapped with a big bill sometime in the future.

- Call 'em up to find out what the deal is and risk losing all the FREE sex tips. (because really, standing on my head is so exciting. The only rush is the blood going to my brain.)

Decisions, Decisions.

Anyway, speaking of Women's Health and on a more serious note, one of my all time favorite TV personalities Giuliana Rancic just announced that she has breast cancer. Get Well Soon Giuliana. We need you to show them broads how to walk a red carpet.