Life With Katie

What now?

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Thu, 09 May 2013 22:55:00 +0000

I've spent the past 30 hours wanting to write here, even needing to write here but not knowing what to say. I always find that to be such a sad irony; the girl who has a writer's soul not knowing what to write. I guess let's start with what the doctor said...

I broke it down for some friends like this:

1. It turns out that I'm brilliant. IQ testing, for what it's worth, put me at smarter than 90% of the people on the planet.
2. I have PTSD that mostly likely began when I was about 3 and has continued untreated well into adulthood. The other "traumas" that I have gone through have only made it worse and in part most likely led to...
3. What is most likely Bipolar II disorder. The testing that I did wasn't geared towards that but it did come up as a possibility and after discussing my symptoms that the testing didn't go over, he's pretty convinced.

So...now what? Now, I wait to hear back from my primary care doctor to see if they'll write me a prescription for a lithium based medication. I also have to call and set up a therapy schedule with a therapist who specializes in trauma therapy for women and children.

On paper, that's where I am right now. Inside my head, I'm so far from there. The stress and anxiety of yesterday has led to exhaustion and depression today. Add into that what one friend calls the "female chemical factory" that's going on inside of my body and I'm left wondering what the point of it all is.

I'd love to be able to say don't worry, I'll be fine, but the reality is..or at least the reality inside of my own head...I don't know. I don't know if I will ever be "fine" again. I look around and I see people smiling and laughing and so much of the time, it feels as if I don't even recognize those emotions. I put on a brilliant show, but deep down, I'm not sure what happy even is.

There are times..maybe too many times..that I sit and think about how I wish nobody really cared about me because then I could just vanish. Somehow, I could just cease to exist on this planet and the world would be such a better place. The oddest part? When I have those thoughts, I'm disconnected from them. There's no deep emotional well that they're coming from. If I were to say it out loud, it would be said in that same bored tone like, "Yeah, I should take the garbage out."

So I would love to say don't worry...because I'll be okay, but instead it's don't worry, you'll be okay. Who knows, maybe I will be too. After all, this is only 2/3 of my world...the rest of it is nothing like this...

For now though, I'm going to leave you with two posts..written by someone who has said and illustrated it so much better than I can right now. She's been there, so she understands...please go and read these and leave her your support.

Adventures in Depression Part I and Adventures in Depression Part II

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I'm Scared of Tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Tue, 07 May 2013 21:53:00 +0000

Tomorrow is the day where I find out if I'm officially crazy. I've said it before and I guess I'm going to say it again...I don't know which idea is scarier..the one where he looks at me and says there's nothing wrong with you or the one where he looks at me and says yeah, you were right. You have entire subscriptions to issues. I've spent so many years fighting this and I'm so tired. I'm so dang tired and scared.

I'm tired of the days where I wake up and my brain just doesn't work right. It's so hard to explain. It's like I'm in a room and one minute, it's open and light and airy. The next minute, it's filled with dense fog and suddenly there are walls that I can't see and I keep smacking into them. If I try to push past it, I get terrible headaches.

I'm tired of the days where everything seems to be okay but then suddenly I'm caught up in this whirlwind of fear and anxiety and all I can do is sit and rock while I cry, whispering please can't someone help me? Those are the days where I feel so incredibly alone. I feel as if nobody on the planet has the time to just sit and spend a bit of time talking to me. Those are the days when I want to throw myself at the feet of some and beg them to just hug me and tell me that it's going to be okay because okay is the last thing that I can see.

I'm even tired of the up days. The up days where everything is remarkably clear and I can focus and my brain works at super sonic speeds and I get a thousand things done. I'm happy and cheerful and optimistic and nothing can bring me down. They also leave me exhausted, both mentally and physically. Plus, I can't maintain those levels and when I crash, I crash hard.

I'm tired of living life on this rollercoaster where there are times when I don't feel as if I have any control. I'm tired of the "side effects" of living a life this way. I need answers and tomorrow, I will get answers. It's been close to two weeks since I sat in that room and took a battery of tests. Before I took the tests, the psychologist told me that he thinks part of my problem is that I'm too smart and that I'm not using my brain to its potential so it gets bored and bored brains are bad things. He wasn't surprised that I found myself doing editing since it requires a high level of intelligence and attention to detail. Then, I took the tests and I left feeling like an idiot. It's not surprising. The tests are meant to challenge your brain and mine hasn't been properly challenged in a long time. It's like using muscles that haven't been used in years..they moan and groan and struggle.

Tomorrow, I get answers and I'm scared. Deep down I know that it will all be okay but on those upper levels, I'm scared and I just want someone to hug me, to hold me and to tell me that it's all going to be okay.

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Finding Me

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 17:15:00 +0000

I haven't been posting here regularly for a while now. Usually I come back and I make some lame excuse or laugh off my absence. Today..Today, I'm going to tell you the truth of where I've been.

I've been right here. I've been sitting here, staring at this screen and wishing desperately for the knowledge of how to tell any of you who still read here that I'm not okay. I'm not fine. If I say those words, odds are that they're lies because while I so desperately want to be, I'm not fine and I'm not okay. I haven't been for a long time.

Oh sure, there are good days. Everyone has good days, even me. There have been days where I feel like I'm on top of the world and nothing can bring me back down. Those days are almost too good. They give me hope and for a brief shining moment, there's clarity.

Then, there are the bad days. Oh God, the bad days nearly kill me sometimes. Those are the days where I sit and cry because my life just feels impossible. Those are the days where I look down at my wrists and I think about how good it would actually feel to slice open that fragile skin. I don't want to die. It's not about death. It's about feeling something other than whatever is holding me down.

I met a boy not so long ago and he was wonderful. For the first time, perhaps ever, I opened myself up to him. I showed him the good days and I showed him pieces of the bad days. It was hard because I was so afraid that the "truths" of the bad days really were the truth. The voices that tell me that I'm useless, that I'm ugly, that I'm stupid, that I don't deserve happiness..I was so afraid that he would look at the real me and just confirm those things. He didn't, but he still broke my heart. You see, I showed him the real me and he said the real me doesn't exist.

Do I exist? That's such an awful question if you think about it. We all want to exist. We all want to be important in someone's world, don't we? To have someone say that you don't exist and then prove it by completely shutting you out of their world is just awful. It's been a couple of weeks and it still fills me with a horrible amount of sadness.

You see, I do exist but I exist within a world that not many people understand or even get to see. I live in a world where I may be on top of the world for a few days and then below the bottom of the ocean for a number after that. I ride a chemical and emotional roller coaster that makes no sense to many who haven't lived it themselves.

There are days when I don't want to get out of bed, where all I want to do is pull the covers up over me and pretend that I don't exist. It would be so much easier than trying to push through it. How do you explain to the people around you, the people who tell you how smart you are, that there are days where trying to think or put together coherent thought is like being in a smoke filled box where you can't see the walls and so you keep slamming into them as they move in closer and closer to you? That the very attempt at trying gives you awful headaches but you keep trying because you don't want anyone to see just how much you struggle with something that other times comes so easily? How do you explain that sometimes it's like there are two of you living inside your own head? There's the completely logical, rational, totally you girl..your true personality and spirit..but then there's this emotionally rabid creature that just reacts without reason. How do you explain that it's that second girl who desperately seeks out love and affection, even when it's not healthy? It's that girl who will crumple into a weeping pile over something said without any intent of harm or malice?

Those are the bad days, the days where I spend all day fighting myself until I'm an exhausted mess by the end of the day. Those are the days when I try to avoid people and yet everything within me screams to be with certain people. You see, I have what I call my safe zone..those people who have known me for ages and yet still accept me, even on the bad days when I know they don't understand what's happening with me. They're my 5 safe places. The irony is that I can't easily access any of them but they're the 5 that deep down I know that if things got bad enough, they'd be there.

It's not all bad days though. There are the way too good days too. The days where I wake up and I'm on top of the world, nothing can stop me and it's going to be amazing. Those are the days where I'm like a machine. I can accomplish amazing amounts of things and I'm happy, cheerful, bubbly and everyone loves me.

The problem with those? It's not normal or healthy either. A person cannot maintain that level of omgtheworldisawesomeandyesitalklikethisonthosedays. My brain moves at hyper sonic speeds and it's not unusual for me to have half a dozen things going on at once in it. I could be hearing a song, arguing with myself, thinking over some problem, sorting out a schedule and all this going on while I'm actively doing something else. Other times, my body is still as still can be because my brain is moving so fast that I don't need to move. For me, they can last no more than a few days and then the crash comes and I go through a series of bad days. Then, if I'm lucky, it balances out and I have
"normal" days for a little while before the whole cycle starts again.

You see, this isn't just depression. I've done depression and this is something more. If I had my guess, it's Bipolar II disorder. My guess isn't good enough though, so I'm seeing a clinical psychologist next week. I need to know what's wrong with me and if it's even possible for me to live a normal life. I need to know if I can be just me without all of this holding me down and holding me back. I know that I will never get the boy back or help him to understand that I loved him enough to
show him the good and the bad, but maybe I can help other people understand what it's like to live with this by writing about it. It's a scary, scary place where so often I feel incredibly alone, so alone that I panic and will reach out to people who have no idea just how badly I need them to hold my hand and to tell me that it's going to be okay.

I'm just a girl, lost in her own world, who needs to know that even when she's "crazy", she's still loved.

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Thank You

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 23:28:00 +0000

While today is Saint Patrick's Day, that's not why I've come to write. I know that I've been neglectful of all my sites lately but sometimes, in life, you need to handle life and writing takes a back seat. Today, I came to write about one of the wonderful pieces that have caused me to be away.

Do you see that shamrock over there? Do you know what I love best about it? I love that it's made up of four hearts. It has four hearts with one stem. So does one of the most wonderful pieces of my life right now. You see, I've found family. Oh I know that I've had a birth family and that there are certainly friends in my life who have made up a family of another sort, but this family is different.

This family is made up of three amazing people who didn't have to accept me. In fact, on some levels, it would have been so much easier to completely shut me out. They didn't though and that's just proof of how wonderful they really are. Over the past few weeks, we've gone through our tough times and I'm sure that all of us have wondered if the bruises were worth it. They've shown me though just how strong love can be and how strong they are. They have inspired me to be a better person than I am and to open up myself to each of them.

So today, while some are drinking Guinness and eating corned beef, I'm just here being thankful. Saint Patrick might have brought Christianity to Ireland, but these three people have brought me so much more. They've shown me love, strength and the sheer joy that can come when someone wraps their arms around you. They've shown me what it means to really and truly believe in someone. They've let me in and not only that, but they've wrapped their arms tight around me and asked me to stay. I cannot begin to express what any of this means to me.

We're not together right now and I don't know when we will be but I do know that none of us will ever really be alone again. We all carry a piece of the others, no matter where we are or where we go. I love them..each and every one of them and I carry the knowledge that they love me. So while we are four hearts, we are part of one whole..one family and it's something that I am thankful beyond measure for.

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Enjoy the First Ray of Sunshine in Spring 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 17:06:00 +0000

With the sun shining and the weather really starting to heat up, it's time to grab some new sunglasses. You can go for a conservative retro-chic look or something totally wild and colorful. Summer is coming so you will get a little more freedom than usual. Embrace it. Yes, Sunglasses have been a wide application around all groups of people. The main reason is that sunglasses play an important role in UV radiation protection. Indeed, millions of people around the world benefit a lot from the sunglasses. Why not find something not only useful but attractive as well?

In comparison, wraparound sunglasses are a better choice for sunglasses because of their wraparound design. First, they will offer better eye protection by preventing UV rays from more than one angle, the front and the sides. Second, they can shield wind or other fine articles from reaching your eyes and cling firmly to your face. Third, they can make your face look smaller. Fourth, they will protect the skin around your eyes by covering larger parts of your face with their distinct shapes. All and all, these features undoubtedly make wrap round sunglasses an ideal choice for you to enjoy comfort and fashion at the same time.

But for the people who have vision problems, a pair of sunglasses is not enough. In this case, prescription sunglasses can provide an excellent service. Nowadays, prescription sunglasses have attracted more and more people and played an important role in our life. They are specially designed for people with myopia, hyperopia or presbyopia. Stylish prescription sunglasses not only provide you with a clearer vision but more importantly they put you in a position of fashion and vogue. If you have to wear prescription glasses and want to wear sunglasses, stylish prescription sunglasses are the very item you can lay your hands on.

Where will you get sunglasses? Purchasing online may be a better choice. You can buy the high-quality sunglasses at wholesale prices. The latest styles and designs will make you outstanding among the public. Firmoo should be one of your better choices.

Firmoo.com is the world's most popular online eyeglasses store. Years of expertise in optical industry enable Firmoo.com to offer varieties of prescription eyewear to the consuming public in high quality yet at extremely affordable prices. The low prices in Firmoo.com never compromise the quality of eyewear while treating the quality and services to consumers as top priority.

Enjoy fashion & comfort at the same time. Now is the brightest time to buy sunglasses!

This is a sponsored post by Firmoo.com -- All comments made within the post are those of the company.
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Book Review: A Wreath of Snow

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 13:30:00 +0000

About the book:
Christmas Eve 1894
All Margaret Campbell wants for Christmas is a safe journey home. When her plans for a festive holiday with her family in Stirling crumble beneath the weight of her brother’s bitterness, the young schoolteacher wants nothing more than to return to the students she loves and the town house she calls home.
Then an unexpected detour places her in the path of Gordon Shaw, a handsome newspaperman from Glasgow, who struggles under a burden of remorse and shame.
When the secret of their shared history is revealed, will it leave them tangled in a knot of regret? Or might their past hold the threads that will bind their future together?
As warm as a woolen scarf on a cold winter’s eve, this is a tender story of love and forgiveness, wrapped in a celebration of all things Scottish, all things Victorian, and, especially, all things Christmas.

Christmas novellas are one of my favorite things simply because they're quite often easy reads that you can lose yourself in for just a bit of time and then it's right back to the real world. Sadly, I think this one would have done better written as a full length book. It lacked a certain depth and richness that giving it more would have helped with. Over all though, a story that is certainly worth picking up and checking out for yourself.

I received a copy of this book through the Blogging For Books program. All thoughts, comments and opinions are 100% mine.
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20 Random Facts About Me

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 22:48:00 +0000

Bonus Fact! This isn't me.

I'm a survivor. I've survived physical abuse, emotional abuse, rape, the loss of a child, the loss of a parent, depression, being suicidal, an eating disorder and maybe more.

Surviving doesn't mean you're not damaged. For me, it means that sometimes I'm held together only by the hugs of those that love me.

I have 4 less permanent teeth than the average adult. I had to have them removed so that I could get braces.

Sometimes I think I'm pretty kick ass. Sometimes I also think that I don't necessarily deserve to be here.

I own more coloring books, crayons and PlayDoh than any other adult I know.

Depression messes with your brain chemicals. There are usually two days a month where hormones trigger the bad chemicals and I have to fight to get through to find the smiles.

I have a teddy bear who travels everywhere with me when I travel away from home. He's flown on airplanes, sat next to me on long car rides and yes, sometimes I talk to him on long car rides.

I've made mistakes. I've also made unpopular decisions. I can't go back. I can only go forward and continue to try to be the person that I truly believe that I can be. I know this one might seem obvious, but it serves as a reminder to myself.

I love the smell of leather. There, I said it. Some women get all gah gah over baby powder scents and what have you..for me, it's leather.

My biggest fear in life is having someone tell me that I'm not worth it. If I close my eyes, I can hear those words repeated over and over...you're not good enough, you ruin everything, you don't deserve good, you're just not worth it. Every day I fight to quiet those voices and hear the ones that tell me that I'm amazing, that I'm smart and funny and beautiful.

Sometimes I wish I could have play dates with my friends. No real grown up stuff allowed.

There is no greater thing in my life than to know someone loves me just how I am. I've been very blessed to have found those people..people who I have been sometimes brutally honest with, even when it makes me look bad...Yet somehow, they look past all that to see that under it all, I'm a wounded little girl who really just needs someone to love her while she puts her life back together.

I have a thing for cute socks. I may/may not actually own any solid white anymore. I do know that I own zebra, bright stripes and even giraffe spotted ones.

I love people but I can't always be around them. I can and will talk to anyone about anything and be quite happy doing it, but sometimes I just need to be a hermit and only let one or two people into that space.

When I'm happy, I sing. The songs don't always have words, but if I'm happy, there's music in my heart.

I'm rebuilding. I've spent a lot of years just surviving. Now, finally, I am rebuilding. I am rebuilding myself, my home, my family and trying to make my world what I want and need for it to be. This isn't easy and sometimes, it's downright scary. It's about taking risks and chances on things and people. I'm not so good with change but I'm making changes.

If I have a penny to my name, I am far more likely to spend it on someone I care about than ever on myself. It brings me great joy to surprise people with little things. I can't do it very often, but when I can, I pick up little things and send out random happy mail packages. If you get one, please know that it's there simply because I wanted to bring a smile to your face.

I'm just a girl..a sometimes screwed up, sometimes happy go lucky girl who is trying to find her place in this world. I'm not the best and I'm not the worst. I'm just me, trying to be better. I've come to realize that I have some amazing people surrounding me and that it's okay to tell them that I'm not okay and to let them try to help.

I can be really silly, but a lot of the time I'm not. I keep that part locked away because I worry that if people see it, they won't respect me. If I'm being silly around you, know that it's because you've broken past those barriers and I'm completely comfortable with you.

It really is the little things that make me fall in love...the reaching for my hand, the need to touch me for no reason other than to remind us both that we're here, feeding me bits off his plate, spinning me around in a silly dance in the middle of the mall, stroking my hair when we snuggle, random, out of nowhere kisses that start with simply cupping my face and looking into my eyes...yes, those are the things that make me melt...

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Free Book Opportunity

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 23:05:00 +0000

Collapse

What would it take for the United States to fall from within? In a not too distant future, America is put to the test. With the American people deep in The Second Great Depression and two of the most powerful hurricanes on record to contend with, the United States is in no condition to deal with hidden terrorists on its soil, maniacal politicians, and the most formidable military threat the world has seen since the Third Reich. This is the story of three men from three very different walks of life: Howard Beck, the world's richest man, also diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome; Richard Dupree, ex-Navy SEAL turned escaped convict; and Maxwell Harris, a crippled, burned-out chief of police of a small Texas town. At first, they must overcome their own struggles and fight for their survival against impossible odds. In the end, the unlikely trio must band together to save their beloved country from COLLAPSE. Empires topple. Nations crumble. Civilization is fragile. In 2027, America will fall.

About Author Richard Stephenson

Richard Stephenson was born in 1975 in Denison, TX and spent his childhood in North Texas. In 1992, he graduated high school after only three years. He then pursued his degree at Oklahoma Christian University, once again accomplishing the task in three years. Richard then married his best friend before going off to basic training to be a military policeman with the US Army. With his new wife joining the adventure, they spent the next four years at Fort Polk, LA and had two children. Just before his son turned five, Richard and his wife were told that their oldest child had Asperger's Syndrome. Nine years later, Richard's son would become the inspiration for the character of Howard Beck. After leaving the armed forces, Richard continued his law enforcement career in the federal sector and has been with the Department of Justice for twelve years.
Follow Richard Stephenson: Website | Facebook | Twitter

Download Collapse for FREE on Amazon Feb 21 & Feb 22.

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The Front Seat

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 05:20:00 +0000

It's officially winter here in Michigan and with winter comes such morning joys as frozen doors on the car. Last weekend, this happened to me. It didn't bother me too much because I only had Roger here and he's had a habit for a while of climbing over my seat to get into his in the middle of the van. So, not worrying about it, we loaded off and went into town to go to the store.

While at the store, it suddenly occurred to me that we were buying things that needed to go into the back of the van. What if that door were frozen shut? Well, I could probably get the middle door open if I fought with it enough. Wait, where would Roger sit then? I guess I could make an exception and let him ride up front this one time. After all, he's not old enough to sit in the front seat. I'd always told the boys that they had to be at least 12 or 13 for that...Wait...oh merciful heavens, my youngest child, my baby was now old enough to sit in the front seat.

Yes, that entire thought processed raced through my mind and I had a minor panic attack that my babies were growing up. Luckily, the back door opened and I never had to deal with the reality of him actually sitting next to me and not behind me in the van. Whew! One realization at a time, thank you very much!

So, I have to ask..How old were your kids when you first let them sit in the front seat? Did it make your parent heart twinge a little to see them growing up?

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Book Review: The Guardian's Playlist

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 17:49:00 +0000

It's a rare thing these days when I pick up something at a convention, tuck it into my backpack, take it home and finally find the time to read it simply to fall in love with it. When I met the author at Wizard World - Ohio, I thought she was this fantastic woman with the right convention attitude and I had hopes that she would do well that weekend. Her son made me laugh and I thought they made a fantastic pairing and it was pretty great to see them sharing the convention scene. However, like so many things I pick up, I didn't put much hope in the book wow'ing me. Before I go on and tell you just how wrong I was, let me show you the back cover of the book so you can see what the book is about:

Click to make larger if it's too small!

Right, so I was wrong. It does happen and in cases like this, I am always thrilled when it does. Honestly, when I first read the book cover, I cringed and thought, "Oh no, not another in your face religious fiction piece." Let me stop myself and you right there. It's not. Yes, there are angels and yes, her faith comes into play. However, that's where the religious stops and a fantastic story takes over. These are characters that you grow to love and to care about. When the book ends, you search frantically for the next installment because you need to know what happens to your friends. You may even go so far as to contact the author to ask about the next installment, in a completely non-stalker like way, of course.

In all seriousness, this was a book that once I started reading, I didn't want to put it back down. The story drew me in and kept me right there up until the final period on the final page and I can't wait for the first capital letter on the first page of the next book in the series. With any luck, we'll be allowed to review it and I can let you know if it held up to the fantasticness that was the first book.

To find your own copy of the book, head over to http://www.theguardiansplaylist.com/

I received a copy of this book for the purpose of this review. All thoughts, comments and opinions are those of the individual reviewer and were not influenced by angels or demons so far as I am aware.

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Book Review: Mondays with My Old Pastor

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 04:28:00 +0000

Mondays with My Old Pastor is one of those books that you're going to pick up and just want to keep reading. It is a poignant memoir about the wisdom that an 83 year old pastor imparts to a younger pastor who is struggling with spiritual exhaustion. As the weekly visits with his old pastor continue, the younger pastor learns important lessons on many different topics. This book is not only valuable to those within the ministry but to any believer who have ever experienced discouragement or those oh too common bumps in their spiritual journey. Reading this book, you'll feel as if you're sitting right there, listening and learning.

I received this book as part of the Booksneeze program. All thoughts, comments and opinions are 100% mine.

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No nonsense

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 21:00:00 +0000

This post brought to you by No nonsense. All opinions are 100% mine.

Fashion has never been one of my strong suits. For years I honestly didn't care what I wore. Now, as I'm a bit older, I've found a bit of joy in things such as shoes and cute outfits. My style has always been and will always be casual and that's ok. I'm a girl who enjoys being comfortable. I'm a girl who also likes to save money and to be warm. That's where No nonsense tights and leggings come into play. They're reasonably priced plus how can you go wrong with tights in the winter? For me, tights can be paired with anything from jeans to a cute skirt or dress. Yep, that's right. I said under my jeans. Why? The cold wind cuts through most any fabric and a cute pair of tights is another layer! Plus, you can show them off a bit when you go in someplace where you have to take your shoes off. Don't believe me? Check out this cute outfit that I put together;

See? Jeans and tights. Still don't believe me? Well maybe we could ask Jill Martin, the new brand ambassador to No Nonsense. Not familiar with Jill? She's an award winning TV personality and co-author of "I Have Nothing to Wear!" She's also the New York Correspondant for Access Hollywood. I bet she knows about fashion! I wonder what she thinks about wearing tights..

No nonsense tights are not only colorful and comfortable, but they're also available! There's nothing I hate more than going to the store and not being able to find what I'm looking for. Keeping that in mind, No nonsense are now available not only in mass retail stores, but also food and drug stores!

Want to learn more? Easy! Check out No nonsense on Facebook or follow @benononsense on Twitter!

2012 is Gone...It's Time to Move On...

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:56:00 +0000

I'm here..and I'm alive and that's a wonderful, wonderful thing. 2012 did it's best to knock me down but I'm happy to say that through it all, I managed to keep getting up. There were days and moments when I wasn't honestly sure that was going to be possible. Life has a knack of continuing to roll on even when you're begging it to stop, even for a moment, so that you can catch your breath.

I watched as those that I loved passed on whether in the sense of heaven or in the sense of they just no longer wanted to be a part of my life.I watched as those that I trusted and thought would be major parts of my support network proved themselves to be hypocrites. I watched as my own mental and then physical health deteriorated. It seemed just as I'd get one on an even keel, the other would dip. There were times when it felt like bailing water with a holey bucket. It was a rough year.

It wasn't all bad though. I also watched as my fledgling idea for a website grew into a reviewing "machine" with a staff of half a dozen people. I watched as my baby took his first steps into athletics and fell in love with football. I watched as my oldest took on new challenges. I watched as people that I barely knew rallied around me and held me up when I thought there was no chance I could stand. I watched as people that I've known for years suddenly appear back in my life just when I needed them. I got to experience more hugs, more laughs and more smiles. I got to experience more love.

Life is never all good or all bad. If you look, even in the worst times, there are sparks of goodness. I don't know what 2013 will bring. However, without a doubt, I know that there will be love and laughter. I know that my little site will grow or it won't, but that there are those working hard on it. I know that even in the bad times, there are those who have it so much worse than I do. I have a roof over my head and food on my table. I have friends who love me and who don't hesitate to tell me so.

I don't have resolutions. I'm not going to resolve to do something better. I'm simply going to be better. I'm going to be a better me. I'm going to focus on the good and on what I can control. I'm going to continue to simplify our lives and our home. I'm going to be healthier and I'm going to be happier. I'm going to love more openly. There will be those who will come and those who will go. Such is life. If they go, they will go knowing that I was thankful for them. I'm going to read more, relax more, laugh and learn with my children more. I'm going to try new things and I may fail. That's okay. If I fall, the floor will always be there to catch me and those who love me will always be there with a hand back up.

That's the great thing about life..it's for living. 2012 was dark and grey but today is a new day and this is a new year. I'm not the girl living in the past. I'm the girl living for the now and for the future and the amazing things that it holds. Sure, there will be bumps and bruises but that's just part of the adventure. There will be dark days and days that I wonder if I'll ever see tomorrow. We all have them. They just make us appreciate the sunshiney lovely days all the more.

So here's to 2013..another year filled with opportunities and love. I hope all of you will join me on the journey.

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The Gall of it All

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 03:33:00 +0000

It's been a few weeks since I posted here but in reality it seems like just a few days has gone by. Just before Thanksgiving, I was crazy busy trying to get the house ready for company and just general life type things. Thanksgiving came and went, but on the Saturday night following, I started not feeling so well.

I felt way overstuffed from a dinner that I didn't even finish. That should have been the first warning sign. Around 11pm, what has become a semi-familiar band of tightness formed around my midsection, at the base of my ribs. That was followed by the awful stabbing pain through the sternum and into the back. When it hadn't let up and was possibly getting worse by 4pm the next day, Justin convinced me to go to the emergency room. Imagine their shock when they found out that I'd drove myself! I guess that doesn't happen all that often.

Long'ish story short? Two days ago, I had surgery to remove my gallbladder. I had one large gallstone (about the size of a nickel) up in the top of my gallbladder and my gallbladder was badly inflamed. The doctor said I've probably been having problems with it for years,even though the symptoms didn't start popping up until last Spring sometime. It turns out that when you have a high pain tolerance, you don't notice the pain but it would explain the times when I just felt rundown and not well.

So, for the next couple of days, I'm confined on and off to my couch while I recover. The boys have kindly agreed that we don't need to decorate for the holidays this year. Luckily, I felt well enough to get 90% of the presents wrapped prior to the surgery. It's a good thing because I'm not allowed to lift anything more than 10 pounds for the next 3 weeks! Thank goodness for good kids who are willing to help out where they can!

Other than that, life is carrying on the best way that it knows how..one day at a time. With any luck, my energy will pick back up and y'all will be seeing more of me here again soon!

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Lilla Rose Review & Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:54:00 +0000

For most of my adult life, I've had trouble finding hair clips that work with my hair. The problem is that I have thick hair and according to those who cut my hair, a lot of it. Normal clips just won't hold it. I've lost track of the number of clips and barrettes that I've broken in the attempts. In the end, I resorted to just using scrunchies and let's face it, those aren't the most glamorous of options in the hair fun world.

Then, out of the blue, I received an email from Elizabeth Williams. She wanted me to try out Lilla Rose flexi clips and tell y'all about them. I'll be honest. I was skeptical. I had tried other clips and no luck. However, I wanted to be fair, so I said sure! She sent me this gorgeous clip and that was it. I was in love. The clips come in a variety of sizes so they fit pretty much any hair type out there. Did I mention that they're gorgeous too? I have no idea how many styles there are but enough that you could practically have one for every day of the year without repeating!

These are going at the top of my Christmas list. I put one in my hair and it stayed not only all day, but all night when I forgot to take it out before bed. Combine that with just being downright pretty and you can't honestly go wrong.

Plus, Elizabeth has been kind enough to let me give one away to one of you lucky folk! Simply fill out the form and we'll be choosing a winner in a couple of weeks. A quick note on the become a customer entry. You don't have to purchase anything to do this entry! Simply click Shop Now and then New Account. Fill out the information and click Create Account and you're done!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I received product in exchange for this review. All thoughts, opinions, comments and crazy hair are 100% mine.
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Treat.Com

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:44:00 +0000

Did y'all know that it's only 6 weeks until Christmas? I suddenly realized that last night when I was looking at scheduling some posts over at Geekorama. Then, I had a moment of pure panic. I am just not organized about the holidays this year. Losing my grandma has thrown me all out of whack when it comes to anything that we used to spend with her. I don't even have my Christmas card list made let alone addresses collected or anything like that! Ahh!

Then I realized, treat.com may just save my hiney this year. I can go to the site, create a unique and personalized card and they can send it for me. No time standing in the store or waiting in line at the post office. Whew!

How about you? Are you set for the holidays? If not or heck, even if you are, why not head over to treat.com and try out the site? Create a card and then using the code TREATBLOGR, send off that card for Free*. Give them a shot and when you're done, come on back here and tell us about your experience. We would love to know!

*Free card offer only valid 11/19 and 11/20/2012.

This post is brought to you on behalf of treat.com. All comments, thoughts and opinions belong 100% to me.
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Shutterfly Thank The Troops Campaign

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Sun, 11 Nov 2012 03:54:00 +0000

Over 1.5 million troops serve our great nation. Many of them will be overseas, in harm’s way, and away from their families over this holiday season. Our mission is simple—to send a thank you card to every American hero. To succeed we need your support. Just select a card from 4 different designs, add a personal message (or photo) and click send. Shutterfly will print and ship your card to the troops at no cost to you.

I encourage you to create a card for the troops. Give back to the people who are giving up their time with their families so that you can be safe with yours. It doesn't matter if you know someone in the military...a card is a card and when you're far from home, every little bit matters. If you're like me, getting a card in the mail is one of the most amazing feelings ever. You know that someone took the time to pick it out, just for you. Now, imagine that you're what feels like a million miles from home and you open up a card that a total stranger sent to say thank you for what you do. Be someone who puts a smile on someone's face this holiday season. I just bet that it will put a smile not only on a soldier's face but one on yours as well.

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Book Review: A Merry Little Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:34:00 +0000

Franny Martin is an Oklahoma farm girl who’s preparing to spend the holidays alone…again. Then Charlie Landau shows up one day, all wealth and polish, and offers to buy Franny’s farm. Franny has no money to speak of, but she is clever and spirited, and she’s more than happy to sell the farm and move to the city.
As Sinatra croons from the radio and Christmas descends upon her charming farm, Franny teaches Charlie the curious and sometimes comical ways of country life. In the process, they unearth some discoveries of the heart—that sometimes love comes when you’re least ready for it. Will the holidays bring their most impossible dreams within reach?

This book was a bit of a slow start for me, but once it got going, I just kept going with it. Franny is so sweet and a bit naive. Charlie is so polished and yet damaged. When they come together, a beautiful story flows.

For more information about this book, check out the blog tour landing page where you can learn about the author, the book and any giveaways that may currently be going on.

I received a copy of this book for the purpose of this review. All comments, thoughts and opinions belong totally to me.

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Book Review: Finding Our Way Home

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:41:00 +0000

"When principal ballerina Sasha Davis suffers a career-ending injury at age thirty-eight, she leaves her Boston-based dance company and retreats to the home of her youth in Minnesota. But Sasha’s injuries limit her as much as her mother’s recent death haunts her. Concluding she can’t recover alone, Sasha reluctantly hires a temporary live-in aide.

Enter the übercapable Evelyn Burt. As large-boned as Sasha is delicate, Evelyn is her employer’s opposite in every way. Small town to Sasha’s urban chic, outgoing to Sasha’s iciness, and undaunted where Sasha is hopeless, nineteen-year-old Evelyn is newly engaged and sees the world as one big, shiny opportunity.

Evelyn soon discovers Sasha needs to heal more than bones. Slowly, as the wounds begin to mend and the tables tilt, the two women form an unlikely alliance and discover the astounding power of even the smallest act done in the name of love. Finding Our Way Home is a story of second chances and lavish grace."

When I chose this book to review, I had no idea that I would fall in love with it. It took me two days to read this one but only because I was exhausted from being sick. Otherwise, this would have been a one book reading. The author captures the torment of Sasha's injuries and her mental state and yet doesn't make her into something so evil that you cannot feel for her pain. Evelyn is young and in love and it makes you smile, even as you watch her life change. Of all the books I've read lately, this one is an instant favorite and I can guarantee that I'll be picking it up again and reading it over and over.

If you'd like to find out more about this book or even order a copy for yourself, just click this handy link and be sure to come back here and let me know what *you* thought.

I received this book as a part of the Blogging for Books program. All thoughts and comments belong 100% to lil ol me.

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Shutterfly: Holiday Cards

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 17:32:00 +0000

I know! I know! It's October! None of us want to hear about Holiday Cards, yet! Well, believe it or not, while some of us are cringing at the Santa Claus' in the stores, others are already planning out their holiday cards. They're browsing through all of the options and planning their family photos.

No matter which category you fall in, you cannot deny that Shutterfly has some of the greatest card choices for making personalized holiday cards. Every single year, I go there and I look through them, wishing that this year I had just a little extra money so that I could send out something like this instead of my dollar store selections. Do you guys feel the same way? If so, I have a bit of a treat for you...are you ready? How would you like the opportunity to win $50 off an order from Shutterfly? Now, I warn you that it won't include shipping and cannot be combined with other offers, but still, that's pretty awesome, right? I just love being able to bring things like this to you! Check out the Rafflecopter below and once you're done, why not browse the site a little and maybe even pick up a little something off their Special Offers page?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This post brought to you by Shutterfly. All content is 100% mine because I wrote it. )

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Book Review : The Marriage Bargain

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 17:22:00 +0000

Camille Chandler is a tabloid journalist whose career is right on track–until her boss sees a curious ad in the L.A. Trades.
Wanted: Single actress for an extended gig abroad.
France’s mega-rich playboy Julian de Laurent is up to something and Camille’s boss expects her to find out what. Who knew the eccentric gazillionaire was looking to hire a temporary wife?
When Camille refuses to accept Julian’s proposal–and secretly write a juicy tell-all about the de Laurent family–she’s fired and left financially destitute, forcing her to entertain Julian’s proposal for real. But what’ll happen at the end of the contract period, after Camille has spent six months as the wife of a man she learns is capable of stealing her heart?

Every so often, it's nice to be able to sit down with a book that's a nice, easy and really fun read. That's the type of book The Marriage Bargain is. I honestly read it in one sitting and didn't stop flipping the pages until I was completely done with it. The writer's style draws you into the story in such a way that you don't even realize how many pages you've turned until you reach the last page. I know that not all of you are romance readers, but if you are, don't hesitate to pick this one up off of the shelf.

Tour starts September 10th!! Prize - 4 of Sandra Edward Books in Print and a $100 Amazon Giftcard a Rafflecopter giveaway Follow the Tour

I received a copy of this book via Promotional Blog Tours for the purpose of this review. My loving this book and telling you I love it? Well, that was all me.

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Book Review: American Tapestries

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 19:26:00 +0000

When pampered Jacqueline Abington secretly elopes with the family gardener, she asks another woman to take her place on the much anticipated maiden voyage of the Titanic. Tessa Bowen hails from a poor corner of London but has been granted the opportunity of a lifetime—a ticket to sail to America aboard a famed vessel. But there’s a catch: she must assume Jacqueline’s identity. For the first time in her life, Tessa stays in luxurious quarters, dresses in elegant gowns, and dines with prestigious people. Then a wealthy American man takes an interest in her, and Tessa struggles to keep up the ruse as she begins falling for him. When tragedy strikes, the game is up, and two women’s lives are forever changed.

When picking up a book that you know is about the Titanic, if you're like me, you cringe just a little inside. After all, you know how it's going to end, right? Well, not in this case. While a good portion of the book takes place on board, the true story isn't the ship but the individual lives and how they weave together to tell a beautiful story. The characters were all very easy to relate to and you found yourself hoping and praying that everything would work out for them. I won't give away what happens but if you're looking for something to read that isn't all about explosions or fantasy, pick up this book for a quiet evenings reading. Now, if I only had a fireside to go with it...

~.~.~.~

A young woman traveling the Oregon Trail in 1842 must rely on a stranger to bring her to safety. But whom can she trust with her heart?

For two thousand miles along the trail to Oregon Country, Samantha Waldron and her family must overcome tremendous challenges to reach the Willamette Valley before winter. Together they weather autumn storms, hunger and thirst, and the dangers of a wild and unfamiliar country. But when their canoe capsizes on the Columbia River, they must rely on handsome British exporter Alexander Clarke to rescue them from the icy water.

Alex escorts Samantha and her young brother, Micah, to Fort Vancouver. There Samantha is overwhelmed with men vying for her affections, but the only one who intrigues her-Alex-is the one she cannot have. When his betrothed arrives unexpectedly from England to escort him home, Samantha becomes determined to create a home for herself and Micah in the fertile valley far away from the fort. But how will an unmarried woman support herself and her brother in the wilderness alone?

Then Micah disappears into the wilderness one rainy night, and Samantha must rely on the man she loves-the man she’s trying desperately to forget-to rescue her brother before it’s too late.

This is another one for the history buffs and romance lovers among us. Actually, this is one of those books that fits into so many categories. It's a Western, it's a Historical Romance...heck, it's just a good read. Unlike a lot of romances where the hero and heroine of the story are butting up against each other constantly, these two don't come together until closer to the end. It seemed to work for them and speaking of working, can you imagine months living on a trail like that? Heck, I don't know what to do with my dryer not working!

~.~.~.~

Why two reviews in one post? Both of these fantastic books are part of the American Tapestry series and as such, they're being shown to the world together. Consider it a bonus on this dreary Monday to have two more books in your to be read pile. However, if you want to go one step further, be sure to check out Where the Trail Ends and Queen of the Waves over on their blog tour homes.

If that's not enough, how about a giveaway? Yep, this fantastic series has an even more fantastic Twitter party and giveaway going on..make sure you enter today!

I'm off to do more reading! Happy entering!

I received a copy of both of these books for the purpose of this review. All thoughts, comments and opinions are 100% mine.
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Home Winterization

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 20:17:00 +0000

It's that time of year again, isn't it? You know the one..where you want to be outside enjoying jumping in the piles of crisp fall leaves but instead the wind is blowing and the rain is coming down in sheets? Yep, that's the one that's happening here right now. I had beautiful plans of finally tackling the front porch. It's still stacked with things that I needed to unload in a hurry and it needs to be done before the snow sets in. However, mother nature had ideas of her own so today, I'm stuck indoors.

Since I can't be working outside, I got to thinking about all of the projects that need to be done not only outside, but inside as well. This kind of weather is a sure sign that I need to be taking advantage of the good weather days to get the outside winterization done. On days like today, I can work on the inside jobs that come this time of year.

My current list of projects is miles long but that's just because if I don't have a project, I don't know what to do with myself! Today, I'm going to share a list of 5 simple and easy projects that you can do around your own homes to help save some money this winter! After all, we can all use a bit of extra money these days.

1. Block the drafts - Check under your outside doors. If they're anything like mine, there are drafts coming in. I have an old house and over the years, it's settled and nothing is quite square. My solution? I'll be making my own draft blocker! It's super easy and I bet any of you can do this. (Don't tell my kids where their pool tube things went, ok?) If you don't want to make one yourself, head down to any of your local department type stores and look in the holiday sections. At this time of year, they always have cute draft blockers. They'll cost you more than making one yourself, but you'll be all set!

2. Run your ceiling fans on reverse - I wish I had ceiling fans! Did you know that warm air rises and pools up around your ceiling? By flipping that switch on your fans so that the blades rotate in a counter-clockwise direction, you could save up to 10% off of your heating bills! That's insane!

3. Turn down your water heater - Do you have any idea what temperature your water heater is set at? Most installers/plumbers set them to 140F. By simply turning it down to 120, you could save 6-10% on those energy bills. Most people don't even realize the difference since a shower at 140 is so hot that we don't turn the water up that high!

4.Install storm doors and windows - This one takes work..like actual manual labor, but can be so worth it! Did you know that simply installing a storm door can increase energy efficiency in your home by up to 45%? Also, for those of you that have storm windows installed on your home, make sure they're closed! I know you're thinking duh, but I've lived in this house for 3 years and just in the past week realized that my front door has a storm window that lowers on it! I need to check my back door now for something similar!

My thanks to Wil Wheaton and his friend Loren
for taking this picture and allowing it to be
spread across the internet.

5. Put on a sweater - Let's face it. We're all getting older and the days of us laying about in our skivvies with 6 inches of snow on the ground are probably long past. If they're not, hey don't let me stop your fun! But, did you know that simply putting on a light sweater can add about 2 degrees of warmth to your body? A heavier sweater can add up to 4 degrees! That can easily translate into not having to have your thermostat turned up so high. Plus, who doesn't want to pull out all of their ugly sweater candidates? Make it an ugly sweater fashion show with hot chocolate going to the winner!

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Curbside Chaos' Yard Makeover

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 04:00:00 +0000

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Bulbs. Dig, Drop, Done.. All opinions are 100% mine.

Let's sit back and fantasize for a moment, shall we? Let's pretend that we have $5000 to spend on a yard makeover. What would we do? I know just what I would do. I'd have someone tear out those bushes in the front yard and replace them with the original wrap around porch. Then, if there were a speck of money left, I would redo the out front flower beds and finish the paver walk to the driveway.

Sadly, I don't have $5000 but this lucky family won a yard makeover thanks to Curbside Chaos!

I love Curbside Chaos. Whenever I'm not sure what to plant and when, that's where I head. Let's face it, that's probably pretty often. I can't help it. They have the Garden Guru tool which makes it all so easy! Seriously. It's easy. Plus, y'all know that I love a company/site that gives back. For every tweet that goes out with the #CurbsideChaos hashtag, "Bulbs. Dig, Drop, Done." donates $1 to Rebuilding Together.

Now, since I just mentioned Bulbs. Dig, Drop, Done..I have to tell you that if you ever have a single question about bulbs, this is where you should be heading for information. They are chock full of useful tidbits. Plus, if you're just looking for a bit of fun, visit the site to see which of the women you relate to. For me, it's Marcy, the supermom. Ok, I know I'm no supermom but she's a lot like me...a busy life and a little it of knowledge.

visit www.digdropdone.com to learn more about what bulbs can do not only for your yard, but for decorating, gift giving and livening up your indoors!

Book Review: The Trouble With Cowboys

noreply@blogger.com (Katrina Roets) — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 02:26:00 +0000

"Annie Wilkerson is Moose Creek’s premiere horse trainer and equine columnist for Montana Living. Money is tight as she tries to put her kid-sister through college and provide for her young nephew. When Annie’s column is cancelled, she’s given first shot at a new lovelorn column—and she can’t afford to turn it down. Only problem is . . . Annie’s never been in love.

Always resourceful, she reluctantly strikes a deal with the town’s smooth-talking ladies’ man Dylan Taylor: She’ll work with his ailing horse, Braveheart, if he’ll help her answer the reader letters."

What's better than a book about a handsome cowboy? A book with a handsome cowboy getting to know a control freak woman while they work together to dispense love advice to the lovelorn. Honestly, while I love romance books, those of a strong Christian nature aren't as often on my bedside stand. I picked this one up and after admiring the cover (I love a good cover.), I started reading. I didn't manage to stop that first night until I was halfway through.

~.~.~.~.~

Denise Hunter’s “The Trouble with Cowboys” Facebook Party & Kindle Fire Giveaway

To celebrate the release of The Trouble with Cowboys, Denise is hosting a fun Author Chat Party on Facebook. She'll connect with readers and give away some amazing prizes - including a Kindle Fire!

Save the Date for October 11th!

Grab your copy of Denise Hunter's latest book and join her for an Author Chat Party on October 11th at 8:00 PM EST (that’s 7:00 Central, 6:00 MST, & 5:00 PST)! Haven't read The Trouble with Cowboys yet? That's okay, don't let that stop you from coming to the party! (You may win a copy!)

During the evening she’ll be sharing the story behind the book, posting discussion questions, testing your trivia skills, and of course, there will be plenty of chatting and fun giveaways – books, gift certificates and – a Kindle Fire! She’ll also be giving you a sneak peek of her next book too!

RSVP today and then come back on the 11th … and bring your friends!

Want to learn more? Check out more stops on this blog tour!

I received a free copy of this book for the purpose of this review. All thoughts, comments and typos belong 100% to me.

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