Conversation mapping is a concept that provides a framework for the conversations you’re having with beautiful women during the day, a framework that makes building attraction and qualification a little easier for us.

A common hesitation we hear from a lot of guys who are starting is some variation of “I just wouldn’t know what to say after I’ve introduced myself!

Enter conversation mapping.

This is basically what attractive, natural conversation looks like when it’s broken down, there’s a smooth pattern of one topic naturally linking to another topic as the conversation goes on.

For day game, the basic model is:

Context – “What are you up to today?”

Work – “What do you do for work?”

Leisure – “What do you do in your spare time?”

These questions allow us to find out a little bit about the girl on a surface level, then as we show some value, we can dig a little deeper and start connecting on more levels. That is the essence of good day game and there are three topics within conversation mapping that will help you achieve this:

Mastery Topics

There are topics of conversation that you will feel very comfortable with, such as diving, photography or ice hockey. Maybe you’re passionate, or have a wealth of experience in that area but whatever the reason; these are your mastery topics. Mastery topics are fantastic for generating attraction. For example imagine if she has a trip planned to Central America, she’s excited to go and it turns out you spent 3 months there last year… You’re going to have stories, interesting insights and she’s going to find that fascinating. However if your mastery topic is chess and she has no interest in that whatsoever, it will not do very much for your value to talk about that – but what you can do is ‘bridge’…

Bridging

Bridging can be thought of as a type of transition. You can use bridges to get onto a mastery topic or get off a topic that you have no interest in, and you can do this logically or emotionally. A logical bridge is literally a logical connection between two topics, however an emotional bridge uses emotional resonance to link topics. For example “Do you enjoy your job? I can tell that you do… I think it’s weak when people don’t go after what they want, but you sound ambitious, I like that.”  and you can bridge from the topic of ‘work’ to something you may enjoy talking about more.

Funnelling

Funnelling is an excellent (and advanced) conversational tool, and it works to your favour in two ways.

1) If you’re talking about something you’re very comfortable with (e.g. snowboarding or travel). If you’re on a mastery topic, this is a great opportunity to build value, qualify and “funnel down” by getting more specific. For example if you both love snowboarding, talk about some of your favourite slopes in the world and what you love about them, ask her the same thing. Tell her WHY you love snowboarding and how it makes you feel, and reward and relate with her on the same thing.

2) However, what if you’re talking about something you’re not comfortable with? Staying on this topic is going to murder your value if enough time passes and a great way to avoid that is to “funnel up” and make it more general. In contrast to the above example, if she is a yoga instructor and she’s talking about that, (by the way, you have no idea what to say because you play real sports and don’t like yoga) then you can make it more general by funneling up to ‘health and fitness’ instead of ‘yoga’ and relate to how doing weights or swimming gives you the same endorphins and emotions she gets from yoga.

Hey guys

If you didn’t catch Part 1 of this double article, take a look before you read on.

Social dominance is a very attractive quality, however there is a caveat… Gaining social dominance is not “out-alpha’ing” everyone in the social circle – that will get you nowhere fast – you merely want to be among the leadership of men (aligned with the top guys in the tree).

In part one of ‘What Gains You Social Dominance’, we covered three effective ways in which to establish yourself as an ‘alpha male’ or ‘leader of men’.

To recap, those three things were:

1. Align with pre-existing alpha males of the group 2. Show that you are already a leader in a separate social circle that has a relatively higher perceived value than this group 3. Bring good emotions to the group

Now that’s what you need to do in order to gain social dominance, but how do you do that?

Firstly, aligning with pre-existing alpha males…

Guys who are the leaders (i.e. captain of the team, guy who hosts the best parties, etc) have massive value in their social groups, thus developing social alliances with these guys will give you incredible value.

Sometimes you can do this straight away if you have a good thin slice and logistics on your side. Other times, similar to the waterfall principle (attract up – i.e. flirt with girls who are not so high in the tree, and the pre-selection and buzz generated by these girls will slowly build attraction and give you access to the hotter girls), you can align with these guys by winning over others in the group, gradually increasing your value before actually building time and shared experiences with the alpha males of the social tree.

To understand the power this has, imagine the difference between being introduced and having the leader say awesome things about you, versus him saying nothing positive about you. Huge!

Secondly, displaying leadership in a separate social circle…

If you have access to other trees with similar/ higher value or access to scarce resources (e.g. high- end venues, money, etc) these things will give you high value. Storytelling can be one way to achieve this, however the time will come for you to show your cards and it’s much better if your story is real. Coming into the social circle as someone who can introduce people to other high-value friends is a great way to achieve high social status in that tree – you want to have something to give, not a value leech.

Lastly, bringing good emotions to the group…

Being funny, interesting and generally fun to be around will make people like you, it’s just a matter of pulling it off. Have good intentions and share good experiences without stealing anyone’s thunder, because being a threat to people in the group is not going to make you popular. Adopt a total abundance mentality and understand that some people require time to like you and be comfortable around you, so this won’t happen immediately.

Some good strategies here include creating ‘in-jokes’ with people (like references from South Park/ Family Guy), try to let people see that you are having more fun/ have more going on than everyone else and be comfortable with being an individual – respect first, popularity second.

Social Circle Mastery is an amazing and in- depth concept. We’ve touched the surface on the structure of social trees and how to establish yourself as a leader of men (which makes picking up in social circles a lot easier down the track), but to find out more, check out Braddock and Mr. M’s SCM DVDs. Hopefully you enjoyed reading this and got a little something out of it. Happy hunting!

While some crossover certainly exists between day/ night game and social circle game, there are also some unique distinctions that make these methods very different – one of those differences being the importance of finesse.

In cold approach, particularly night game, achieving social dominance can be simple in concept. Being louder, being more interesting or simply talking more are all ways to behave in a more dominant or ‘alpha’ way, One reason this can work in cold approach is because you are demonstrating several attractive characteristics, one of these being the willingness to take risks.

Being loud and the centre of attention is a risk – you are putting yourself out there, which can make people like you (e.g. “He’s so interesting”, “I like this guy” or “He’s awesome”) however it can also evoke a dislike towards you too (e.g. “He tries too hard”, “Is this guy serious?” and “He’s weird”)

In cold approach, more dominant/ ‘alpha’ behaviour can work very well, but what if you’re in a social circle with people you are going to see again/ want to see again? In these situations, the high-risk “blow me or blow me out” angle isn’t the best. So how do you become a leader or an alpha male? In other words, how do you achieve social dominance? In a comprehensive article on Social Circle Mastery, Mr. M highlights a couple of effective ways to do this:

1. Align with pre-existing alpha males of the group.

This is the most powerful way to be amongst the leadership of men. If you can align with the top guys in the tree, everyone else is going to like you, trust you and most importantly, respect you.

2. Show that you are already a leader in a separate social circle that has a relatively higher perceived value than this group.

One sure thing that will blow your chances in a social circle is being perceived as a value leech, or someone who is taking from the group without giving something back (value, social connections or good emotions). Being a leader in other high value social circles makes you a connector.

3. Bring good emotions to the group.

This is a great way to form social alliances, but keep in mind it takes time and energy to connect with people. Some may not like you straight away but in social circles it pays to be in more of a ‘farming’ mindset than a ‘hunting’ one. The golden rule is: Respect first, popularity second.

People align with, respond to and are attracted to value. The three points above are your fastest track to generating value and being recognised as a high value person. Stay tuned for Part 2 of this article, where we’ll go through exactly how to do that!

Love Systems – The Essentials DVD – Dating Super Conference 8

Love Systems – The Essentials DVD – Dating Super Conference 8 is our newest product. This is the first time we’ll be featuring infield video from our world-renowned Super Conference. Here are 10 reasons why you’ll love this product…

1) It’s the last time Jeremy Soul is on video - He gives his farewell speech after a terrific talk about building the ideal lifestyle. Every guy gets into Love Systems to improve their dating lives so they can be a better man overall. Jeremy Soul completed that journey and this is his sendoff.

2) INFIELD VIDEO!!! - You get 120 minutes of infield video, broken down with subtitles and commentary by Savoy himself. You get to hear what instructors say, how they say it, and how they overcome shit tests and more. The girls in some of these videos are dimes too. No bullshit!

3) Your favourite instructors give personal info - Hear the war stories from guys like Cajun, Fader (the stripper guy), Future, Braddock, Tenmagnet and Keychain. You don’t get to hear this unbridled kind of stuff in blog posts or newsletter. It’s just these guys raw on stage.

4) 100% Money-Back Guarantee - I know you’ll love this product, but it’s always worth mentioning that if you’re not satisfied, for whatever reason, you’ll get your money-back.

5) Exercises to learn at home, from Savoy - At the end of each DVD Savoy gives you exercises on the related topic, so that you can study and improve. Most DVD sets are just a head at the front of the stage jabbering away. This DVD is high interactive, and the exercises build on that. Don’t just watch this DVD, use what you learn and implement it!

6) Nick Savoy and Braddock main stage talk - This talk is a hidden gem. Here’s why: when you put the two of the sharpest dating minds on one platform, gold spills off of it. Although this is a beginner talk about the Triad Model, these guys go much deeper into the inner game elements involved with seduction.
7) Braddock’s Inner Game Secrets - Typically, Braddock’s inner game seminar goes for over $1000, but you get the core secrets he took years to develop in a one hour DVD. Students raved about this guy at the 2012 Super Conference and this is his speech from it. He took #1 instructor in 2012 with it.

 TO SEE PREVIEW OF THE INFIELD VIDEOS, FIND OUT THE DETAILS OF THE Love Systems – The Essentials DVD – Dating Super Conference 8 OR TO BUY, CLICK THIS LINK!

8) Discover How Bootcamps Are Taught - If you’ve ever thought about taking a Love Systems live program before, you’re going to see infield video of us teaching students, with a breakdown. That means not only will you learn the crucial mistakes most students make when learning this stuff–live in-field too–but also you’ll get to see what your bootcamp experience will be like.

9) Nick_Hoss appears on video – Nick Hoss declined to appear on the 11 Essentials DVD set but you’ll see him give a speech at the end of Love Systems – The Essentials DVD – Dating Super Conference 8. Hear his inspirational story of how he went from hopeless with women to crossing the country for a bootcamp to becoming named the world’s #1 dating coach at this conference.

10) LAUNCH BONUSES - You’ll get one month of FREE personal consultation with a real Love Systems instructor so you can ask any questions you have from the DVD and work on sticking points as you go out. This is worth half the DVD price alone. It’s a great interactive bonus.

 TO SEE PREVIEW OF THE INFIELD VIDEOS, FIND OUT THE DETAILS OF THE Love Systems – The Essentials DVD – Dating Super Conference 8 OR TO BUY, CLICK THIS LINK!

If you’ve listened to some of Love System’s interviews (there are over 10 on Attraction) or taken a live program, you have no shortage of weapons in your arsenal for generating attraction. Some of these can both spark and amplify attraction, but for simplicity I have picked two for each category to cover here:

Sparkers

Sub-communications

We’ve read that what you actually say (content) can be different to what you’re actually saying (subtext and sub-communication). Your body_language and voice are powerful communicators, thus having strong sub-communications is one of the most important pieces of the attraction puzzle – and it’s also the most difficult to develop.

Body language

- Stand back, let here come to you

- Hold strong eye contact

- Never ‘peck’ or lean in

- Smile slightly

- Don’t twitch/ jerk

- In general have a relaxed demeanor

Voice

- Project your voice

- Slow it down

- Speak clearly and don’t mutter

- Use pauses (you’re used to people being interested in what you’re saying)

State-based attraction

This type of attraction is also known as ‘pumping buying temperature’, it means you have a positive influence on her state. Girls love emotional roller coasters and any time you spike her emotions, attraction is going to happen.

Role- plays

Any time she says or does something cool, this is a great opportunity to go off into a fun and absurd role-play (ideally one that lets you sexualize and escalate).

E.g. “We’re getting married in Vegas. We’re gonna hire a limo, hire a gay wedding planner and have sex 5 times a day. Wait, can you cook?”

Teasing

People only tease those who are equal or lower value to them, thus playfully teasing shows you are on her level and not intimidated by her beauty.

E.g. “Oh god, we need to get you a helmet and some crayons and stick you in the corner so you don’t hurt the other retards.”

Humour

Making her laugh increases her state and humour generates good emotions.

E.g. “You know the reason I’m out tonight is to lose my virginity and get married. My mum keeps telling me to stop playing World of Warcraft in the basement and find a nice girl.”

Amplifiers

The more value you have, the more compliance you can get, thus as your value increases, it is important to capitalize with compliance and investment – this is why qualification is such a crucial phase. However this is an attraction article, so let’s focus on that.

“Good game = normal, normal, spike” and while sparkers can also be used to amplify attraction, these techniques below work especially well once you have a little value.

Intrigue based attraction

Being mysterious is very attractive. When done effectively, dropping little hints about yourself piques her curiosity and makes her very interested in finding out more about you. The catch? Before she is interested in you, she has to see you as someone who is worth being interested in.

E.g. “I like my job. Sometimes I hate the travel but it leads to some pretty awesome adventures. Have you ever been overseas?”

Takeaways

Takeaways are more advanced. People want what is scarce, thus the proper use of takeaways makes the girl with think to herself “I like it better when he’s standing here next to me, where did he go?”

Early in the interaction, they generally start silly, trivial and often (push-pull), but later in the set it’s more about respect and behavior (boundaries). Takeaways are attraction amplifiers because the more value and investment you have, the more you can get away with.

They can be verbal, for example “Girls with nice smiles are my weakness, you need to get away from me” or non-verbal, like a backturn or being easily distracted while she’s talking. Takeaways can explode your game or they can lose you the girl. The most important thing is that you need to be willing to walk.

So there it is, some things you say or do can be great in the beginning to spark attraction, other things work better when you save them and use them at other points in the interaction. Play around with these and have fun out there.

A great way to overcome this is by preparing statements that not only bump up your interaction time, but build value for you too. These can be I- statements mentioning something cool or interesting that you do, or a statement about her/ other people that let’s her know you are observant/ socially intelligent.

For example:

“I love travel, it’s my biggest passion. Nothing expands your mind more than seeing the world and feeling out different cultures. It shifts your entire perspective, I love that.”

“You know what, I bet your friends and family sometimes ask you why you’re still single but the funny thing is, the more confident you are and the more you know what you want, the harder it is to find someone who meets your standards. What do you think?”

In the first example I say that I love to travel, but more importantly I talk about WHY I love to travel. From here it is easy for me to qualify her or ask her a question so that she can contribute to the conversation too. The more value you build, the stronger the platform is for you to qualify and continue the interaction. Similarly, the second example builds value too by showing that I understand why many beautiful women are still single – flipping the frame from “I can’t find someone” to “I haven’t found someone who meets my standards yet”. This implies that I am single for the same reason – thus I am preselected and challenging.

Keeping the conversation going becomes a little easier when you have little value statements such as these to throw in. So how do you make your own? In IVS 63: Conversation Techniques, (First 10 mins posted there.) Starlight uses a great formula called “Statement, Reflection, Question”.

For example:

(Statement)“I love New York. (Reflection) You know what’s interesting about that city? The first time I went over there, people told me that New Yorkers were really cold. But I realized that they’re just busy, so if someone stops you in the street, you’d better have something good to say! I’m from Australia though so I’m used to everyone being friendly. (Question) Have you been to New York?”

Filling the conversation with content like this paints the picture of you being a cool and interesting guy who travels, understands people and navigates social situations with ease – all attractive characteristics. If you are getting stuck for what to say a few minutes in, 7 minutes in or 10 minutes in and you want to solidify those phone numbers a little more, this model will help you lengthen the interaction. Never run out of things to say PUA again!

What is it?

The textbook definition of PUA Qualification that sums it up best: Telling a woman you like her for reasons other than her looks.

What does it do?

Interestingly, PUA Qualification doesn’t just tick off one thing. It achieves a myriad of objectives such as solidifying your attraction, validating her and increasing compliance to name a few. PUA Qualification conveys that you are a sexual selector and, as Mr M says, marks the platonic to personal escalation taking place in the interaction. The psychology behind a lot of what we do in game explains why qualification is so crucial and powerful. For example, why is teasing so conducive for attraction? People are generally comfortably teasing people who possess equal or lower social status to them (ie you’re not intimidated by her). Therefore, we only QUALIFY to (or comply with) those whose social status is equal to, or above our own.

The old wisdom is that attraction comes first, then qualification second. However attraction blends into qualification a little more than most guys realize. We’ll talk about hoops in a moment, but you don’t need much requisite value to pull off a small hoop, thus the qualification process can begin immediately in some situations. As this builds, the compliance will actually increase your attraction since she will rationalize that qualifying herself to you must mean that you are someone with high value (otherwise why would she qualify herself?)

How do you do PUA Qualication?

A small hoop requires little to virtually no effort from the girl, so questions like “Can you cook?” or “Are you a good friend?” fall into this category. As your value increases, you can get away with larger hoops that require more compliance. Large hoops such as “What are three qualities that would make me want to stay and talk to you?” or “What would you be if you could be anything in the world and you knew you couldn’t fail?” allow you to reward her investment and build a deeper connection.

Some ways to qualify:

Bait, Hook, Reel, Release (Baiting her for compliance, validating her investment and then a push/ tease)

For example: “Are you adventurous? Cool, I like adventurous girls, too bad you’re such a dork”

Asking her (Simply asking her if she is/ has a quality that you want)

For example: “Are you creative? That’s cool, I like that.”

Statement of Interest (Telling her that you like something about her)

For example: “You know what I like about you? The way you walked away from your friends like that, I can tell you’re independent. I like that”

Dirty compliance (Framing her as something because you know she will qualify herself as the opposite)

For example: “You’re high maintenance aren’t you? I can already tell”

Playful qualifiers (These don’t actually tell you anything about her, but they are a funny way to achieve the same sub-conscious frame that she is qualifying to you)

For example: “Are you rich?” or “Do you have a big TV?”

Negative emotion (This one is interesting. The key here is her feeling the fear of loss, or that if she messes up the answer she may lose your interest)

For example: “Let’s say we’re dating and 6 months down the track I realize you’re not the one for me… What did I find out?” Again, her answer isn’t as important as her investment and how much effort she puts into the answer

How many of these have you played with? Next time you go out, write down 5 things you want in a girlfriend, and 5 things that would be deal breakers for you. Play around with different ways to qualify because this is the crucial phase that can determine whether you get the girl or not. If your qualification isn’t tight, you’ll see flakey numbers, LMR if you do take her home or she’ll just think you’re a player. Get it right and you’ll build a genuine connection with a beautiful woman who doesn’t experience that too often, and that’s when good things happen.

Aladin

Ron Burgundy – ‘Anchorman’

We can learn a lot from the Anchorman and his charm with the opposite sex. He speaks fluent Spanish, can tame a bear and plays a mean jazz flute. Oh, and having an apartment smelling of rich mahogany must work exceptionally well when Ron pulls women home to ‘see his leather-bound books’ – excellent seed.

“I want to be on you” #Direct game by Burgundy 

 Alex Hitchins – ‘Hitch

Alex ‘Hitch’ Hitchens is a professional dating coach. Aside from his pre-selection scoring off the charts, he displays high social intuition, humour and a magnetic charisma that few women can resist. But then again if you look like Will Smith, do you really need game anyway?

 “Any man can sweep any woman off her feet… He just needs the right broom”

 Steve Stifler – ‘American Pie’

He may be a perverted womanizer, but nice guys finish last and Steve Stifler is not one of those guys. Stifler is the typical jock – a star player in the Lacrosse team, hilarious, and an asshole. He lives in his own reality, and despite his constant desire to brag he is totally self-satisfied. If anyone personifies the expression ‘Blow me or blow me out’, it’s this guy.

“Let’s relax. Take things slow. And let the good times roll”#LMR by Stifler

Van Wilder – ‘Van Wilder: Party Liaison’

Van Wilder represents the ultimate social connector. In the film he spends seven years dodging graduation and instead cultivating an enviable social life that makes him the king of his campus. He displays a great mix of teasing and warm & fuzzy attraction with his target – a smoking hot journalist who happens to have a boyfriend (never an issue for Ryan Reynolds)

“Are you stalking me? Because that would be super”

 Bond – ‘Casino Royale’

Bond – the epitome of un-reactiveness and ultimate ladies man. He has style, wit and a wardrobe to envy. Studies have shown certain lifestyle interests to be more attractive to women than others, for example rock-climbing (attractive) vs Pokèmon (not so much). For a man who is an international spy, an expert with mixed drinks, a master poker player and who drives at roughly 4 times the speed limit, it’s no surprise that James Bond has game.

 “You just said you can’t wait to get me back up to the room. Let’s go” #Misinterpretation by Bond

 Hank Moody – ‘Californication’

Last but not least, Hank Moody. The self- loathing, impulsive and brutally honest LA writer is a ladies man in the truest sense. He is the child that plays and the adult that seduces, enjoying a sex life that most men would probably define as super active. Throughout the series we can identify his skills in frame control and social intuition. It takes balls to not give a fuck, which Hank pulls off while balancing his assholish nature with a genuine love and appreciation for women.

“A few things I’ve learned in my travels though this crazy little thing called life. One: A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness”

Watching these films/ tv shows while observing their relevance to game is interesting. Although the characters are fictional, they all display a unique combination of the attraction switches listed in Magic Bullets. Getting better with women involves changing some behaviours and mindsets, and these are great guys to observe and steal some ideas from!

Locking- In

Moving Her

Time- Bridging

When the lights are off, i.e. in night game, it is pretty much mandatory that you tick off these three boxes throughout the course of the interaction (unless you enjoy making your work harder for yourself… you don’t, right?). During the daytime however, you can get away with skipping these, and that’s where switching it up can help your Day Game sets in an interesting way.

Locking in

When you approach a group at night, you want to lock- in very quickly. Why? Because assuming the most comfortable position of the group is dominant behaviour and alpha males don’t stand uncomfortably in awkward positions. Taking advantage of your window to lock- in creates the perception that she is hitting on you, and establishes the frame that she is in your space. Now this, thrown into the mix with you leading the conversation and her reacting to you, generates attraction.

Moving her

Another night game tactic that I have found helps with daytime approaches is moving the girl. This one is a little advanced, though. You’re testing her compliance and although it’s risky, it can be a good gauge for how much she likes you – a woman who follows your lead means good things

Here are three ways to do it:

Move her – after a minute or so if she’s enjoying the interaction say “Let’s stand over here” and guide her a couple meters away to a different spot while still talking.

Walk with her – after you have some attraction, say “You’re walking this way? Ok let’s walk for a little”. While you’re talking, stop in a new location (maybe with something to lock in against) and continue the interaction. This builds compliance, comfort and time in-set which builds even more comfort.

Grab a seat – grabbing a seat together is a solid indicator or compliance and attraction. The key to this one, again, is to keep talking. For example if she says something that reminds you of a story, you could say “Funny story, actually. Let’s sit down for a minute *move her* So last year when my friends and I decided to…”

Time Bridging

Those among you who have read Mr M and Braddock’s ‘The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game‘ know that a phone number is merely a chance at a date, therefore the more excited she is to see you again, the more solid that phone number becomes.
Instead of simply “getting her number”, which may work fine, time- bridging means dropping hints or ‘seeds’ into the conversation about cool and interesting things you’re doing over the next couple of days. If she is interested in something your doing, this allows you to invite her along and show her your world.
Consider these two guys:

Guy 1: I really liked talking to you… Can I buy you dinner sometime?
Girl: Umm, I guess so.
Guy 1: So can I have your number?

vs.

Guy 2: Have you been to a board game cafe before?
Girl: No?
Guy 2: There’s one downtown it’s awesome. You walk in and there’s these cool Asian decorations all over the place, they do the best smoothies there and the best part is you can actually play boardgames while you sit down and drink! They have Jenga – which I would probably kick your ass at – and a bunch of other stuff there too.
Girl: That sounds like so much fun!
Guy 2: Yeah I was gonna go on Wednesday, you should come. Let’s exchange phone numbers.

Can you see how time- bridging solidifies that number so much more?

So there you have it – three night game tactics for day game. These usually aren’t taught to beginners starting out in day game, but they’re great ways to challenge yourself and mix things up a little when you’re meeting beautiful women during the day.