L' Aurore

【听写】萨尔曼·拉什迪：革命与写作障碍

2012-01-24T08:30:00.000-06:00

本文是拉什迪在09年在纽约The Moth的一篇演讲稿，觉得很幽默就听写了下来。

最近因为在印度发生的一些事件，拉什迪的媒体关注度又有所提升。鉴于此，为避免被google到本文的极端分子追杀，就不提供原录音链接，且避免出现任何英文的拉什迪或他的某部著名作品名的表述，见谅。

本文英语难度不大，拉什迪虽是在印度出生，基本也没有口音。但其中有好些专有名词和西班牙语不容易弄清楚，于是试着加点注释吧。

但翻译就太难了，比如说文中有这么一句，"Nicaragua.... this tiny place where everybody f**ked everyone, in all sorts of different ways some of which were sexual. " 要贴切地翻译这里f**k的一语双关，太考验中文说脏话的水平了。

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I was not always as you see me now. At one point, I was considerably younger. I'd like you to help me now to become a little younger in your eyes. Twenty-three years, that may be really really long time for some of you but try. Imagine, imagine the years falling away from me, the hair grows on my head, my body becomes lean and tough, kind of like Brad Pitt.

So I ask you to come back with me in 1986. In 1986, that's an impossibly distant time, I was sitting in London and writing a novel, and I have to tell you that it was not going well. I wrote hundreds of pages, and I did not like them. I was, as they say, 'blocked', and didn't know what to do about it. So I thought, 'What do you do if you are blocked when you are writing a novel?' I thought, 'I know, you go to a revolution.'

Now as it happened, I'd been invited to a revolution. People are not always offered invitations of revolutions, but in my case, it was in fact so, and the reason for that in fact was a PEN (1) festival. I have come to New York for a PEN festival in the spring of 1986 under the presidency of Normal Mailer. And at, of all places, the Temple of Dendur at the Metropolitan Museum of New York, I met the woman who invited me to the revolution. It was a woman called Rosario Murillo, from Nicaragua, who was, in her own word, the companera (2) of Daniel Ortega, then the president of Nigaragua and the leader, of course, of the Frente Sandinista (3), which had recently taken power in that country.
(1) PEN: 国际笔会
(2) Companera: 西班牙语“伴侣”
(3) Frente Sandinista: 桑地诺民族解放阵线

She was surrounded, I remember vividly, by a group of the most beautiful bodyguards I'd ever seen. They were male, they were oiled, they had very fancy rubber-wrought shades, and... I don't even like guys, but they were very, very desirable, unlike Rosario Murillo, who was not. But she said, 'Please come, and experience our revolution for yourself.' But at the time I said, 'No, I can't do that because I have a book to write.' I went home and discovered I couldn't write the book, so I called her up and said, 'You know that revolution you were offering me? Could I have second thoughts and come?' Because I thought, 'If you write a book and it's not going well, why don't you go and look at the lives of people who are really having a bad time? And you can immediately feel superior, and come home and finish your work.'

So for these literary reasons, I went to Nicaragua. What I didn't realize was that the person who had invited me was the most hated woman in Nicaragua, the companera of Daniel Ortega, universally loathed. And it was kind of a preemptive loathing, because people didn't realize that the thing for which she really ought to have been loathed she hadn't yet done. Many years after this, her daughter, Zoilamerica, accused her boyfriend - Rosario Murillo's boyfriend, Daniel Ortega, of having raped her. And Rosario Murillo's response was to side with Daniel Ortega against her daughter. The reasons, motives for this was entirely political because ever since then, she has had Daniel Ortega's genitalia very firmly in her grasp, and he has to do everything she says. So that's the real reason to hate her, but that, you see, it shows that the people of Nicaragua have a very elastic sense of time - they can hate people things they're going to do in the future.

Anyway, so there I was, with the most hated woman in Nicaragua. And people looked at me oddly where I said she had invited me, and it did cause some problems, but it had some advantages. And one of the advantages was that I got incredible access. I could go and have dinner with everybody who was running the country and they will talk very, very freely and the trouble is, I knew if I put a tape recorder on the table, they would not talk so freely. So I had to invent diarrhea, and it's gotta have diary with a sort of upset attached. And I would have to at these dinners upend myself to go to the bathroom and scribble like crazy so I could write down everything everybody had said without seeming to spoil the evening.

And I discovered many things. I discovered that the three different groups that formed the Frente Sandinista deeply detested each other. There was the Ortega group which was the guerrillas who had come down from the hills who were savage and barbaric and uneducated but they had all the guns, and then there was the kind of Maoist - Ho Chi-Minh really - group which believed in raising the consciousness of the peasants, and then there was the kind of a middle class group of writers and intellectuals and business men, and other useless people. And they all detested each other but what they also did was they all went to bed with each other, and they also went to bed with all the leaders of the opposition.

This was something I subsequently discovered but I finally wrote something about this when I was interviewed, here in the New York, for the Interview Magazine by Bianca Jagger from Nicaragua. And every time I mention somebody, whether from the left or the right, Bianca would say, 'Oh yes, I used to go out with him.' And I realized that she was the person who really ought to be writing about Nicaragua, because it is this tiny place where everybody f**ked everyone, in all sorts of different ways some of which were sexual.

So I learned all this, you see, and had a lot of very good food. Well, I did, but I don't want to underestimate what was happening there. The country was in the stage of genuine devastation. Because the United State, a large country to the north, had formed an opinion that Nicaragua, which contained a population considerably smaller than the population of the tri-state area, posed a serious threat of safety in the United States and therefore needed to be crushed. And some of the effects of the crushing were very striking. For instance, people in Nicaragua got up very early in the morning to do their shopping because the prices went up at lunch time, and if you didn't do your shopping then, the prices went up again at sort of five o'clock in the afternoon. So the inflation rate was like that. It was that the prices would rise twice a day. And also, as we discovered, if you had a tractor, if you were a farmer and your tractor needed to be taken to the garage, the cost of servicing a tractor was a cow. This of course, if you were a farmer, there were diminishing return involved in this because you'd end up with just the tractor and no cows, but you couldn't eat the tractor unless it was a Trabant (4), of course.
(4) Trabant: 东德汽车品牌

So it was genuinely terrible, especially as, on top of all the calamity of the war, there was the calamity of the earthquake which had destroyed so much of the center of Managua. So here there was a city center where there wasn't a center. You know, there would be these streets, big, esplanade-like streets but no buildings because they had all fallen in the earthquake and it gave the government problems. For instance, the ministry of the interior, they had to use the few buildings that had survived. So the ministry of the interior was in a supermarket, and you could actually see the supermarket signs still up there on the outside of the ministry of interior.

And the ministry of culture, where I went to meet the great poet Ernesto Cardenal who was the minister of culture. The ministry of culture was located in the home of the formal mistress of the former dictator, Somoza, in Hope Somoza's house. And actually Ernesto Cardenal's office was in Hope Somoza's bathroom. So we were sitting there in her bathroom and he talked about liberation, and how his presence in this bathroom indicated that the country had been liberated. He said this without irony - Ernesto Cardenal was not strong on irony. There was a point I remember seeing him in a literary festival where he claimed that Nicaragua had become the first country on Earth to nationalize poetry. Some soviet-hating Russian stood up and said, (此处他模仿了东欧腔的英语) 'Sekond naition.' Anyway, so Ernesto Cardenal, there he was, in Hope Somoza's bathroom, and he told me that it was his dream. It was almost already fully realized that everybody in Nicaragua should be a poet. He said, "Almost everybody is, but I'm going to complete the task." And to complete the task, he had set up poetry workshops in villages all across the country so that the campesinos (5), the villagers, could be taught how to write poetry, and he taught them that they should write from their hearts and not worry too much about things like form. They should speak about their lives in the most personal and emotional way, and, 'As examples,' he said, 'we are giving them, showing them the work of great American poets.' I said, 'Which ones?' He said, 'Marianne Moore and Walt Whitman'. And I thought, 'Those are two of the most complicated poets in the world.' So I said, 'If you are teaching them how to write simply and you are teaching them Marianne Moore and Walt Whitman, are those the right poets to be choosing?' And he said, 'No, no, you should not worry. We are teaching them the work of Walt Whitman and Marianne Moore in simplified form.' And these two were said entirely without irony, as well as his statement that there were no political prisoners in Cuba. So, you see, it was a complex thing in the world of the mind of Nicaragua.
(5) Campesinos: 西班牙语“农民”

And there I was, chitchatting with artists and intellectuals about this. And I thought, 'This is not what I should be doing. I should be going to the war. Take me to the war! I've come here to see the war. The Contra (6) must be somewhere. They are up there somewhere. I must go to find the war.' They didn't like that very much, because they were worried that I could get hurt and that would be bad publicity. And my translator said to me, 'You know, Bono's here', she said. 'And he hasn't gone to the war.' I said, 'O really, is that right?' And then she said a wonderful thing. She said, 'Please, who is Bono?' This was before the Unforgettable Fires (6) so I guess she could be excused.
(6) Contra: 反叛军
(7) The Unforgettable Fires: U2乐队专辑名。U2的Bono此时恰好也在访问尼加拉瓜

Anyway, they didn't want me to get hurt but eventually I yelled at them so much that they began to relent. So I read in the newspaper a terrible story about a road in the north of Nicaragua near the border where a land mine had blown up a busload of school children, and fifty-odd school children had been killed just the previous week. And so I thought, 'You know, I'm gonna be a war correspondent. I'm going to be a war correspondent if it kills me.' And actually, no, I didn't think that. I thought, 'as long as it doesn't kill me.' But I wanted to go to see this road, so I managed to persuade them to send me, so off I went.

And eventually I was in the back of a truck, being driven towards the war zone and actually, you know, it was getting really a little bit scary, at near the end of the war. And I found myself on the road. They said to me, 'this is the road where the landmine went off.' And I thought, 'Oh.' And I said to the to Sandinista soldiers next to me. I said, 'Is there a way to, you know, to tell if there are landmines in the road?' And he said, 'Yes.' 'Yes,' with relief, I said, 'What is the way?' He said, 'there is a very big bang.' So that wasn't at all what I wanted to hear. So as we went on, we suddenly found ourselves going into woods. The woods got darker, thicker. 'The woods were lovely, dark and deep.' (8) But actually I was more and more and more frightened as we got into them. And suddenly exactly what my greatest nightmare took place, which was that when we turned a corner, there was a tree across the road. And I thought, 'Shit!' You know, 'We are now dead people.' There was a Contra ambush, and we were sitting ducks and we've had it. And the soldiers on the truck thought so too, really, so they leapt off with their AK-47s and they did all the kind of things people do with AK-47s. They ran around like crazy and I sat on the truck and quaked, essentially, thinking, 'I've got a novel to finish, you know. Please, not now, I need to go home and write a final draft.' And, you know, the amazing thing was, that it was just that the tree had fallen across the road. There was no ambush. That was an accident.
(8) 罗伯特·弗罗斯特的诗

So I'd got to leave. I came back and I took the first plane out, and went back to London in my study. And I thought, 'Hah. Home. Safe. Nothing bad will ever happen again.' And also, I knew exactly how to write the novel now. All the problems had disappeared, and I sat down and wrote the final draft of 撒旦诗篇. And I discovered that not only landmines could make a big bang, but sometimes books could make them, too. But the great benefit was, that I cured my writing block.

Thank you.

【长文慎入】哲♂学科普及英语听写练习一则

2012-01-16T07:02:00.001-06:00

每周都听的Podcast中，有一档BBC广播4台的节目，叫做Great Lives。每周大约半小时，以一个“伟大人生”为主题，主持人邀请一位嘉宾（通常是英国的文化界名人），一位专家证人（一般是相关领域专家），共同讨论。上个月13日的节目中，讨论的是路德维希·维特根施坦的生平轶事，在我这个哲♂学门外汉看来，尤其有趣。

于是今夜花了五六个小时，一边喝着误买的40度的朗姆酒，一边将这段节目听写了下来。本来想翻译的，但想想听写都这么麻烦，还是只贴个英文吧。

原节目可以在这里在线收听，音频文件地址则可在这里下载。

本文大概类似字幕，用来配合收听。话说有很多字幕组在做诸如国外名校课程视频之类的字幕，其实这个也可以延伸到国外同样优秀的大量周刊/月刊类广播电视节目上——比起需要系统学习的课程，这种或许更简单有趣呢。

音频中出现的声音：
Matthew Parris (P)，主持人；
Raymond Tallis (T)，嘉宾，作家，哲学家，医生；
Ray Monk (M)，“专家证人”，哲学教授；
（以下是历史录音中出现的声音）
Joan Bevans (B)，维特根斯坦的医生的夫人；
Bertland Russell (R)，这个不用介绍了吧。

以下是全文。有若干听不懂的地方，都用一串星号代替了，以及可能有不少听错的地方，都敬请读者指正。

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P: Our great live today is that of one of the most intriguing and misunderstood, or, ununderstood figures of the 20th century, who brought despair into the young life of a philosophy undergraduate at Cambridge -- me. In 1951, Joan Bevan's husband told her he was bringing someone home to meet her, someone rather unusual.

B: He warned me to be on my best behaviour, because the man coming was different from anyone he or I had ever met. He had a thin face, gray curly hair, piercing blue eyes -- he was extremely handsome. And he made striking gestures with his hands when he was thinking or talking.

P: Raymond Tallis, who is she talking about, and why have you chosen him?

T: She's taking about the great philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, probably one of the two greatest philosophers of the last century, the other one being Martin Heidegger. His philosophy illuminated every aspect of his life. It wasn't something he did. It's something he was. He was a thinker who was concerned, as Bertland Russell said, not to win an argument, but really to find how things are. He had the intellectual passion as nobody else has, and as such, to me, he is a remarkable role model.

P: Let me introduce my guest properly: he is Professor Raymond Tallis, a philosphyer and writer, who is until recently a physician and clinical scientist. His latest book is Aping Mankind: Neuromania, Darwinitis and the Misrepresentation of Humanity. I'm sorry about the 'Raymond'. That's because we are fortunate to be joined today by Ray Monk, professor of philosophy at the University of Southampton, and the author of Ludwig Wittgenstein: the Duty of Genius, the acclaimed biography that's been credited with transforming Wittgenstein into a human being. Ray, how do you feel about Wittgenstein after living with him as if he were for so long? Do you feel to know him? Do you feel you like him?

M: I admire him hugely. He is in my opinion the greatest philosopher of the 20th century, and my admiration for him extends to Wittgenstein as a person as well as a philosopher. I admire his single-mindedness, his intensity, his integrity. My only doubt about him, I mean, on the personal level, is I don't know he would like me very much. His standards were very high and I would have been terrified often.

P: Some questions follow, some further questions, Ray, but first the drill. Listeners have already gathered and I've been calling you, Professor Monk, Ray, and you, Professor Tallis, Raymond, and I've brought a whistle. Wittgenstein can be very abstruse. He totally stymied me as an undergraduate. So I brought the whistle and I never dare to bring it to philosophy lectures in university, and, doing our listeners a slight discourtesy of assuming some of as dim as me, I intend to blow the whistle whenever we start to go in too deep, because we'll never explain Wittgenstein's whole philosophy in half an hour, but we may hope to learn a little bit about his life. So a blast like this [whistle] means that we quit the philosophy, and carry on with the life, which brings my first question, Ray. Talk us through his extraordinary family background. Well, where and when was he born?

M: He was born in 1889 in Vienna, into an extraordinarily wealthy family. His father, Karl Wittgenstein, more or less owned the iron and steel industry of the Habsberg Empire, and was fabulously wealthy. And it was a family in which expectations of intellectual achievement and social achievement were extremely high, and were felt keenly by his siblings. No less than three of his brothers committed suicide. Ludwig Wittgenstein himself said that he, many times, thought of committing suicide, and these thoughts, probably, only left him in the last half of his life. But the family home was also a terrific center for the intellectual and artistic elite of Vienna. If they had a musical evening, Brahms would attend. They knew, personally, all the great painters of this period, Kokoschka, Klimt, and so on. His sister was a great friend of Freud. This was a tremendous period of Viennese cultural life, and the Wittgenstein family were in right at the center of it.

P: One sees the tragedy, Raymond, and one sees the intensity. Do you also think there was any happiness in his childhood?

T: There were times when he seemed to be very happy, when he was completely absorbed in doing things.

P: He made a sewing machine out of bits and pieces that actually worked, didn't he?

M: Yes, he did. He was very....

P: When he was ten.

T: Huh, when he was ten.

P: And an unlikelihood upon unlikelihood, he was at school with Hitler.

M: Yes, he was, for a short while, at the Realschule in Linz. They were the same age. They were born in few days of one another, Hitler and Wittgenstein. But Hitler, I think, was a year behind because he wasn't very good at school.

T: And he was in the year below Wittgenstein.

M: There is a reference in Mein Kampf to a Jewish boy at school, and many people speculated that this was Wittgenstein.

P: How Jewish was Wittgenstein?

M: Well, his family ware brought up in complete isolation from the Jewish community in Vienna, which had a very strong and influential Jewish community. They never went to a synagogue, but he counted as Jewish under the Nuremberg laws because three of his grandparents were Jewish. So under the Nuremberg laws he was Jewish, which was an issue for him in the thirties.

P: How did he end up in England, Raymond?

T: Well, by a rather odd route. His first port to go was Manchester, where he studied aeronautic engineering. And then he got very interested in the mathematical basis of aeronautic engineering. And then he got very interested the logical basis of mathematics.

P: Wittgenstein went to Cambridge in 1911, and introduced himself to Bertland Russell.

R: He was queer, and his notion seemed to me odd, so that for a whole term I could not make up my mind whether he was a man of genius, or merely an eccentric. At the end of his first term in Cambridge he came to me and said, 'Will you please tell me, whether I am a complete idiot or not? If I am a complete idiot, I should become an aeronaut, but if not, I should become a philosopher.' I told him to write me something during the vacation, on some philosophical subject, and I would then tell him whether he was a complete idiot or not. At the beginning of the following term, he brought me the fulfillment of this suggestion. After reading only one sentence, I said to him, 'No, you must not become an aeronaut.' And he didn't.

T: It's a tribute, I think, to Russell's generosity of spirit, that within the few weeks of meeting Wittgenstein, he felt that he had to hand over the torch to this young genius.

P: Yes.

M: He felt he was the most clear example of genius he'd ever come across in his life.

P: Russell also said this of Wittgenstein that he has the theoretical passion, very strongly. He doesn't want to prove this or that, but to find out how things are: it hurts him not to know. You've written, Raymond, that he had a sense that the world has a deeper secret meaning to yield up, a meaning which transforms technical problems into matters of the utmost personal urgency, that the purpose of the world is concealed in some way from us. What is it about philosophers about Wittgenstein, that they are compelled to dwell on matters that most of us don't worry about apart from the odd passing thought?

T: I wish one knew what it was that drove great philosophers because one might even aspire to be such a thing oneself.

P: How did you come to philosophy?

T: I came to philosophy through being engulfed by problems that I didn't recognize as being philosophical. When I was in my early teens, I did have a strange sense that the world was unreal. I was terribly worried that, but I wasn't afraid that I just simply a node in the causal network of the world and so on. And these things really concerned me, and I wasn't able to articulate them. And I started reading philosophy and was aptly astonished that there were people who had thought about these things before. So as a base I came to philosophy through being engulfed by questions that ultimately I recognize as philosophical questions.

P: There is a parallel then with Wittgenstein there.

T: I think one would have to be incredibly arrogant in any way to compare oneself with Wittgenstein. Should we say the parallel is that I was ********** and he is Mount Everest so that it might be a reasonable parallel.

M: I think what Wittgenstein wanted was clarity. Wittgenstein became a philosopher not because he wanted a firm foundation of his beliefs, but because he felt confused. Certain things confused him and he wanted to dispel the confusion.

P: I think I was compelled into philosophy by the sense of wanting to find out what I was in the world for, feeling it mattered what one was in the world for and if I could find out what the world was for and what I was in the world for, it will give shape.

T: Except for Wittgenstein it was probably the wrong sort of thing to look for in philosophy, even though he was greatly exercised by what the world was for, what he was for and so on. Very early on he felt that philosophy was not going to answer this kinds of questions. There were some questions that relayed beyond, not merely beyond philosophy but beyond articulation. And that really was quite a revolutionary thought because hitherto people probably had thought of philosophy as providing the solutions to the problem of life.

P: In 1913 his father Karl died, and left him a huge personal fortune. Can you explain that, Ray, and what he did with it?

M: Well, he gave a large part of it away before the First World War and the rest immediately after the First World War. In his accountant's words, he committed financial suicide -- he gave away his entire inheritance.

P: He was, as I've been looking at photographs of him and rather to my surprise, seeing that he was a strikingly handsome man.

M: Oh, yes.

P: Attractive, was he actually liked by lots of people? Did he have friends? Was he lionized? Was he sought after?

T: No, not really. Most people who knew him commented on his exquisite manners. He was impeccably polite, and he himself felt that to be a problem. And when he came to Cambridge, for the first time, he felt under so many social obligations, that it drove him to move to Norway, to an isolated part of Norway where he could work on his own. So he built himself a hut by the side of the field and lived entirely alone.

P: He didn't do things by ******** .

M: That was a pattern that is rare in his life. He was always fleeing to lonely places, wasn't he?

T: Yes, yes.

M: And ************, he was able to then think consistently for hour after hour after hour in these lonely places, and you felt that was the most extraordinary thing without any external stimulus. He was self-driven. And one of his letters from Norway, I think it was in 1914, described logic as hell, and in fact for him it was hell, because he didn't stop thinking about it. He didn't dance around it. He really stood still like a long-legged fly on the water, just looking at the problem, in an almost unbearably intense way.

P: And in 1914 Austria declared war on Serbia. Wittgenstein volunteered for service and fought his way to the front line, apparently, deliberately seeking out danger. And being decorated for bravery, he was in the army for five years. Surprising kind of philosopher. Did he like it? Did he hate it, Ray?

M: He felt that he benefited from it. He hated the people he was with. He didn't get on with them at all. He wanted the experience of facing death. He thought that would make him a better person. He wanted that experience and he got it in plenty, eventually. Because he was from such a well-connected family, it took a while to persuade the authorities that he actually wanted to be in the dangerous position. They kept him moving behind the lines and he kept applying to be transferred and he get moved into still safer places. But eventually he got to the Russian front, which, you know, there's plenty of opportunity there to face death.

P: For the first, Tractatus, someone tell us, either of you, about that. What are the origins? When was that published?

M: It's a unique book, the Tractatus. It's a unique mixture. On the one hand, it's a philosophical tract about logic, about symbolic logic. On the other hand it's a work of mysticism. Now in logic, he'd already distinguished, between that which one can say and that which one can't say but one has to show. In 1916, he applied that idea to religion, the meaning of life, the ethical. These things too, he now believed, could not be said; they had to be shown.

P: But if they can't be said, what's the purpose of philosophy? Does a philosopher go around showing things?

T: It's quite interesting. I mean, the famous last sentence of the Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus is that: of which we cannot speak, we must pass over in silence.

P: That'll be fatal to a columnist like me.

T: And well indeed, it might be fatal for any academic. And it was often said that his silence was quite noisy, that he couldn't quite leave it alone or try like that, although there was a long period that he did leave it alone.

M: I think the attempt to define the limits of language, the limits of that of which could be spoken, the extent to which one's world was to some extent defined by the language used. He felt that it was in itself worthwhile.

T: The task of philosophy as he understood it, was to understand the structure of thought, and this was where the logical form comes in. So logical form is that which gives our thinking its structure. It's also that which gives the world its structure. And it's also that which gives the language its structure. So the idea here is, you have three things, you have the world, our thoughts about the world, and language which is these thoughts put in words. Logical form is what those three things have in common.

P: Now I'm going to [Whistle] blow on the whistle, because I'm with you so far but I sense that we are in danger of going too deep. He talked about mental cramp, and I know what he meant. Going to lectures at Cambridge on Wittgenstein I got the mental cramp. He talked about philosophy being the a struggle against the bewitchment of our intelligence, by language. Well, was he understood at the time? Was the Tractatus understood? Was it a success?

M: It was a great success. It was one of his dominant... it was a dominant text in the first half of the twentieth -- the first third, I guess -- of the twentieth century. It gave birth to logical positivism but rare again, you can pick some of the ....

P: Well, OK. I'll give you two sentences before the whistle on logical positivism.

T: Well, let me say this, that the logical positivism is hugely influenced by Wittgenstein, but they are influenced by Wittgenstein to take up the point of view that is diametrically opposed to Wittgenstein. One of the logical positivists, Otto Neurath, in echoing the last sentence of the Tractatus that where one cannot speak there one must be silent, Otto Neurath said that we must indeed be silent, but not about anything.

P: Thank you. That's hugely illuminating. And at this point, perhaps not surprisingly, he left Britain to design a house for his sister in Vienna, where he was apparently obsessive about the architectural, the building details.

M: Yes, he was. He had the ceiling raised by 3 centimeters or something, completely obsessive. And he designed every last detail of the house. The window latches, the light fittings, the door handles, everything.

P: Will you appreciate this, Raymond, another polymath?

T: Well, I'm not too sure I would appreciate it to have him in the house. He was the building contractor from hell, really, or the architect from hell. So I can imagine if I was the client, I would have said, enough already, please, let's settle for good enough rather than perfection.

P: And then he comes back Cambridge in... is that 1929?

M: Twenty-nine.

P: As a lecturer.

M: Within a year he started lecturing.

P: You must be, Raymond, ambivalent about his ambivalence towards philosophy itself. I mean, you are also a doctor. There must be moments when one's practicing as a doctor, when one's philosophy is the last thing that matters.

T: Well, it's very difficult to doubt the existence of the external world, when you just received a phone call telling you that cardiac arrest on Ward 6.

P: Yeah.

T: Or even to doubt whether, you know, whether language communicates information accurately. Most of the time as a doctor, you have to assume what is just simply common sense. But at the same time, it's not enough. That's fine for the kingdom of means, but there is a kingdom beyond the kingdom of means, which I think philosophy explores. It's something with Wittgenstein that was the opposite. He was a philosopher who wanted to be a doctor at times and one who felt very unsatisfied, while being a professional philosopher, very hostile to professional philosophy.

P: You mentioned, Ray, earlier on, his frequent absconsions, so to speak, to Norway, often to be on his own but not always to be on his own. He had a very good friend and a young man called David Hume Pinsent, is that?

M: He had a number of such friends, the first of whom was David Pincent.

P: But David Hume Pincent was pretty important to him. When Pincent died, Wittgenstein said 'he has taken half my life with him and the devil will take the other half. You don't say that about any old friend.

M: No. He's clearly in love with Pincent. And the Tractatus was dedicated to Pincent's memory. He went on holiday twice with Pincent, and was utterly distraught when news came of Pincent's death. So yes, Pincent was very close, and that was before the First World War. In the 30s, he had a similar friendship with another young man called Francis Skinner.

P: Were his relationships consummated in any way, do you think?

M: That with Skinner was.

P: Another rumor when I was at university, Raymond, was that he would like to go to the cinema, and then watch westerns, and sit right at the front so that he was staring straight out of the screen.

T: He used to get cinema ticket with Norman Malcolm, who was one of his pupils. It was basically to almost drive out the contents of his mind with something else, and so he just wanted to be completely zapped by the cinema. Because he could not stop thinking, at times he was absolutely unbearable. And that was the time when I think most heroically, he was think without trying to develop a system. He was just... each day, he was thinking as if from the beginning, and you can see it in his later works, his Philosophical Investigations and so on. You can see him arguing with himself. You know, and with the argument with others, we make rhetoric, and with the argument with ourselves, we make philosophy, and he was always arguing with himself. And that unbearable state of self-quarrel, I guess he sought all sorts of escapes from it: comics, the cinema and so on.

M: Can I just say I'm not entirely sure I see his love of the cinema as an escape. He had a genuine love of the cinema.

P: Yeah, westerns.

M: He loved movies. He loved westerns. He loved musicals. When he went to America, he wanted to meet Carmen Miranda. He loved those movies. And Gilbert Ryle, the British philosopher, was for a while a close friend of Wittgenstein's, and he recalls he and Wittgenstein argued about cinema, because Gilbert Ryle would not agree with Wittgenstein that there could not possibly be a good British movie. Ryle agreed that there hadn't been in fact a good British movie, but he didn't agree that it was such as thing that was an impossibility. Wittgenstein quite genuinely believed that it was an impossibility because the cinema was a young art form, and it belonged to a young civilization and young culture like America. And he thought it was far more to be hoped for from a young culture like America than from the old, decaying, dying culture of Western Europe.

T: And it shows what his philosophy was, say, that his a priori assumptions were complete resistant to any empirical data.

P: [Whistles] When Pincent said to him 'you are mad', he replied 'God preserve me from sanity', and Russell heard about the exchange and he remarked 'God certainly will'. Was he mad?

M: No.

T: No.

M: Certainly not. I mean, he suffered enormously from mood swings and from, particularly included, depression. He suffered enormously with being a driven person. But he wasn't mad in the sense of any clinical madness that I would recognize, or clinical syndrome that I would recognize.

T: No. I mean, he wasn't *******, and, say, um, eccentric.

P: Just before the outbreak of the Second World War, he decided to apply for British citizenship. Did he fight in the Second World War?

T: No. For a while he worked in a hospital, the Guy's Hospital as an orderly. And he got interested in some medical research that was going on. And when a research team moved to Newcastle he went with them and he worked on a research project investigating what was called wound shock.

P: Another complete difference of direction in his life.

T: And he used mathematical skills which were lying dormant for long time to actually develop a new method of calculating the area of burns.

P: And then he returned to Cambridge, completely to reverse everything he'd written. He started to pull apart his own... the Tractatus.

T: It was a gradual process. I mean, he started early in the late 20s and he pretty well gave up the idea of logical form, I guess, and found it a difficult idea. And he started actually looking beyond the relationship between the language as such and the world, to look at the details of actual languages. And he recognized that, for example, words have different functions. They were more like tools. And he also focused on the different uses of language. You know, we use words to greet people, we use words to curse. We don't just use words to make statements of fact, which can then be mapped onto the world in some way. He said he really got himself deeper and deeper into the complexities of living languages, recognizing that language was an expression of way of life.

P: He then came up with such poetic and mysterious lines as 'if a lion could speak, we would not be able to understand what he said.' Or 'Heraclitus said you cannot step into the same river twice, I say you can't step into the same river once.' These things used to trouble me as an undergraduate.

M: As Raymond was saying just now. Wittgenstein's view of language changed somewhat, so that he no longer was interested in trying to analyze the structure of language.

P: Yeah.

M: Now what he emphasized was that you can't understand a language without understanding a form of life. Language is woven into our practices, our customs, the things that we do. If a lion could talk, we would not understand him. Why not? Because we don't share the form of life of the lion. So the things that the lion says would be unintelligible to us.

T: And even if those who tried to train chimps to speak English, or to communicate with humans using sign language had realized that, they wouldn't have wasted many decades of research time. They don't have our form of life, so there's no way they could....

P: There is nothing they want to say to us.

T: Nothing intelligible to either party.

P: Is it appears a bit like T. S. Eliot to me that you think you sort of understand it, but you don't quite understand it, yet your instinctively feel it's a very beautiful and important idea? Stupid people like me, at least in this field, have a tendency that when they really can't understand something, to say that there's nothing to be understood. It's the emperor's new clothes. All those people who say Wittgenstein was great, they don't really understand him either, they are just saying so because everybody says Wittgenstein was great. Have you ever wondered whether the emperor had any clothes? Whether he was really saying anything?

M: Whenever I am reading the Philosophical Investigations, I have absolutely no doubt that the emperor's clothes are real clothes. If you get engaged in his process of thought, you realize you are in the company of an incomparable mind. You may not be able to abstract from it a set of propositions, or even a world picture. He wouldn't even want to do either of those. But engaging with them paragraph by paragraph, and it is extraordinary to see him. He keeps interacting with himself. He's arguing with himself. You're overhearing one of the most amazing dialogues for one that you could ever imagine.

P: In 1949 he was diagnosed as having prostate cancer. By January of 1951, his health was declining rapidly and his doctor Edward Bevan at Cambridge invited him to stay with his family for the last days. Joan Bevan, with whom we started, again:

B: On April the 27th, two days before he died, we had a walk to the pub. That night he became violently ill. I stayed with him in his room the night of the 28th. We told him his close friends in England would be coming the next day. Before losing consciousness that night he said, 'Tell them I had a wonderful life.'

P: Tell them I had a wonderful life. Was it?

M: Yes. Wonderful in its purity. I think there were two things motivating Wittgenstein, always. One is, as we talked about, was his philosophical clarity. The other is moral decency. So what he was trying to do, always, is to think clearly and to behave decently. So was it a wonderful life? Yes, because it was driven by wonderful aspirations and he lived up to his exacting standards to an extraordinary extent.

T: It was a wonderful life. I mean, it was a very painful life. It was full of suffering, great loneliness. He had a huge problem with ordinary human beings who had unnecessarily bombed to help him cope with the solitude, but he only found it difficult to deal with. Yet I think indeed, it was one of the most wonderful lives, I totally support what Ray has said. He was all of a piece. He hung together; he was coherent as very few people are. He was a man that you felt had integrity linked to his philosophy, with his very way of being.

P: My thanks to my guest, Professor Raymond Tallis, who's championed the great life of Ludwig Wittgenstein, and to our expert witness, Professor Ray Monk. Goodbye.

记一次被传教经历

2011-12-26T01:27:00.000-06:00

大概是在下面相不善，来米国都这么久了，几个月前才头一回在街上被传教。

不过08年刚来时，曾碰到过一位白人老爷爷，用不太流利的中文搭话。那时太胆怯，也没有在被抢劫时听不懂南方英语问“pardon”的勇气，没理他落荒而逃。这事儿过了很多年，上周，在我都快把它忘了的时候，几乎在同一个地方，又碰到了一位白人老爷爷。是不是同一位不知道，不过仍是声调不正确的国语说道：“你好，我，有，我的，中文的，名字。”在下勉力压抑住了使用——可能在他听来，跟我听他说汉语差不多的——英语跟他交流的欲望（还好晚上没有梦到自己比native还流利地说英文），答：“您有什么事么？”于是他掏出一份铜版纸彩印递给我：

啊呀呀，仆暗想，要是当年胆子大一点，在刚来时就能被传教了，也不用像孟德那样自以为形陋不足雄远国这么多年。当然面对各种传教努力，我这里都是接下传单/名片/免费圣经之类，说声谢谢，到此为止。要不就是，“I'm sorry. My boss is pressing me to do some work”，便慌慌张张地走开。

不过多日后又拿起那印刷精美的传单读了读。前三页是圣经摘录和解读，不过这个汉译本语言有点特色。语气和大陆人常用的汉语比显得饶舌，有些微妙，翻译腔却也不是很严重，大概可归为“唐人街腔”？继续看下去，却没见基督徒最喜欢的“神爱世人”那段，直至翻到封底，才发觉原来是着了道儿：

这个“耶和华见证人”，乃是仆在昌平街上见到的诸多亚伯拉罕系教会中，唯一在教会门口的招牌上有中文的。但之所以只说是“亚伯拉罕系”，是因为他们跟摩门教一样，被主流的新教或天主教视为异端，能否算作“基督教”都要存疑（顺便一提，弊村虽小，但村里摩门教和犹太教也都有哦）。而那本《圣经新世界译本》，则是他们教会采用的经文。这就解释了为什么前三页都拐弯抹角地只说圣经，不说自己是谁，也不说圣经是啥译本。如果开门见山地表明自己教派，恐怕好多慕道友都会扭头就走了，遇到脾气急的教徒说不定会发生斗殴。“这固然是一个策略，”俺心想，“可是老爷爷你这样遮遮掩掩，气势上就先输了呀！”和我本家那位自称佛的大师对比一下，若是作为正教的自信都缺乏，又怎能转化非信徒来相信呢？

不过据说，比起许多正统的基督教徒都只信教不读圣经来，耶证乃是诸多派别中读经读的最认真最用功的。您看他们这传单的主题，都是如何从圣经中寻找真理。乃至他们得出一些和主流相比相当“奇怪”的结论，例如反对医疗输血的做法，还反对三位一体，灵魂不灭，地狱制裁等概念。嘛，对圣经了解只限于二手资料的我没资格臧否这些解读。虽然不同意他们的教义，他们不迷信权威，尤其不迷信~~恋童癖~~神职人员，亲自努力阅读解析第一手资料的精神，在下还是很激赏的。

赞赏归赞赏，这份传单还是难以打动在下。看了第一页就想吐槽，为什么要一劳永逸地寻找永恒不变的真理呢，让最新的“真理”不断被推翻刷新，让从苏格拉底开始各位号称寻找真理的的可以永远这样挖坑灌水下去，大家都有饭吃，不是很好么？

（前）纳税人云

2011-11-23T01:05:00.000-06:00

回国时，和已经工作的朋友聊天，难免听到“天朝万税万万税”的抱怨。此刻便深切体会到不知哪位名人的名言：人世间只有两件事确定无疑——死亡与税收。天朝如是，米帝亦如是，再看看在欧洲同学的抱怨，恐怕有过之而无不及也。

您可能还记得当年博士屯茶党（与今日的基督教神棍茶党不同）的口号，无代表不纳税。这话在咱北米留学生这儿格外讽刺：一只手上，不能像国内纳税的同学们那样，可以去选选陈冠希苍井空当代表；另一只手上，到了米帝，有这么个都市传说（我考驾照时也被问到了），说是去车管所办驾照时，会被问到您是否打算注册投票选举，绝对不要答“是”，否则就一失足成千古恨，以后签证什么的都成问题——要知道，在车管所注册车辆时，还得提交已纳税的证明呢。也就是说，不但要纳税，还得千万小心绝对不要表现出任何想要选举人民代表的意图，做个好顺民，呜呼。

故而仆一直愤愤，便于今年年初去申请了个奖学金。天朝米帝间某奇怪的条约，免去约占总收入20%的收入税，可以大剌剌地秉着博士屯茶党精神，自称前纳税人，不亦快哉。

说是前纳税人，和前男女友类似，分的干净的固然有，剪不断理还乱的恐怕更多。譬如在米国，即使不交收入税，通常接近10%的消费税之类也如床前明月光，在买菜加油乃至交电话费的原价之外，刺眼地打印在账单上；到了中国（还有很多其他国家地区），俺同样是没收入的不纳税人，但做法有优越性，购物时那隐藏在红红的标价签数字已经包含了背后的17%增值税，税收便只得隐隐如心口上一颗朱砂痣。不告诉你交了税，心理上税负痛苦就能小不少。大学时，购物一旦超过五十软妹币，想到的不是纳税人的权利和义务，而是父母劬劳供我念书的不易；而在米国买了个iPad还得交七十多刀税时，自是火从心头起怒向胆边生，心中只剩咒骂米国官僚机构的臃肿低效了。

说纳税就不能不说“纳税人的钱”这个话题。作为一个北米留学生，申到奖学金前拿的助研工资是来自老板的经费，而经费是来自议会批准的政府拨款，政府拨款呢，自然是来自纳税人，于是也便是浪费纳税人的钱的蠹虫之一。想想，纳税人的钱，被我们拿来吃喝玩乐，开车或坐喷气式飞机到处乱跑，甚至用来给女人买礼物等等，多么恶劣的行径啊。如果告诉米国人民这些真相，让他们公投，节约纳税人的钱，把烟酒僧（还有同样消费纳税人的钱的专家教授和修路民工等）的工资降低到仅仅能够维持不死掉的地步，兴许会有40%以上的选民同意呢？

（侧记：助研，俗称RA，细究起来是很蛋疼的。根据我从米国版思修，必修课ethics training上得到的信息，作为一个全日制研究生，您应该每周投入四十小时或更多的时间，用于学习课程和从事研究，以实现拿到学位这一您读研的目标：这部分是不产生收入，反而应当收学费的。而助研，一般要求工作十到二十小时，和助教乃至勤工俭学一样，这部分工时是为了挣钱，因而和助研的老板——未必是学位论文的导师——之间，雇佣关系大于师生关系。所做的工作任凭雇主指定，而未必要与雇员的学位论文相关。在理工科，一般助研老板便是导师，潜规则也要求老板“厚道”地为学生安排与论文相关的助研工作。但在某些文科就不一样，助研的工作完全可能和学生的课题无关，可能只是去图书馆帮教授翻书，查资料，哪句引文在多少页，莎士比亚和塞万提斯是不是同一天死的等等。想想，一周二十个小时这样的工作！且，这种类似秘书的工作，教授写出了论著，学生其实连蹭个署名的机会都没有。）

于是本文的主题其实是，所谓纳税人意识的强弱，其实和税赋的痛苦感最正相关，而后者呢，跟佛教中的“我执”类似，去掉那颗执着心，装作不知道，也就不会难过了。于是最喜欢提“纳税人的钱”的那帮人，比如几年前的我自己，无论是飞船上个天还是地上修条路都要抨击一番，固然不算没有道理，而且至今也很不喜欢税收用于何处经常不让大家知道的不透明做法。但恐怕自我意识过剩，才是出声批评的主要原因了。而逛多了就知道，虽然国家地区间各有特色，但税收的痛苦，收上去的税的浪费，却没有太大差别——除非您很有钱，可以动用开曼群岛之类的资源和手段来逃脱，否则真的和死亡一样不可避免。

以上是逃避现实的鸵鸟做派。不妨说说看到的，在公立大学的环境下，纳税人的钱是怎么花的现实情况。诸如加州大学校长租900平米$13k一个月的别墅，或是橄榄球教练拿百万刀以上年薪都算是旧闻了。恰好最近加州大学戴维斯分校的非暴力示威学生遭遇警察辣椒喷雾事件（推荐阅读：关于辣椒喷雾）闹得沸沸扬扬。那位分校校长，被学生嘘，被要求辞职。于是想起一段掌故，这校长本是弊校的教务长，09年被加大挖去，当了分校校长。弊校需要新的教务长，便雇了个咨询公司来帮忙。几十万米刀（弊校据说近几年每年有近亿的财政缺口哦）花了出去，结果没多久学校爆出了招生丑闻，给州议员之类有关系人士的亲朋，特殊待遇优先录取，于是主事的校长等引咎辞职（至于真正的黑手，伊州人大代表之类，则毫发无伤），招聘新教务长的事情就无限期搁置下来，至今教务长这个职位仍由临时工担任。纳税人的钱呢？大概水漂了吧。

另一件比较生活化的事则发生在今年。系里有一个输密码才能进入，很少有人去的机房。因为很少有人去，在俺不想呆在办公室里时，那儿便成了桃源乡。机房本有十几台无盘工作站，就是显示器加上键盘鼠标，登录到一台Linux服务器来实现数据储存和处理，低成本高效率的解决方案。但某天可能主事的心血来潮，或是申到了新拨款，便将所有电脑都换成了每台售价$1000以上的iMac，还换了新空调系统，没人时也开着。虽然换成了Sandy Bridge的最新机型，但用户的数据仍然挂在原来的服务器上。且，不知道是Linux还是OSX的问题，电脑更快了，存储和访问数据时反而有更多的延迟，还经常根本不能访问——嘛，反正即使更新了电脑，那里仍然很少有人去，于是也没人抱怨。在俺看来，既然自己已经成了前纳税人，有纳税人的钱买高档电脑和装修清净的房间给我用，得了便宜，还写本文出来卖乖了，真有点不好意思了。

跑鞋评测：Asics Gel-Nimbus 12 vs Brooks Glycerin 8

2011-11-20T13:21:00.001-06:00

记得在银银网上看到一位女同学说，女人橱柜里总是少一套衣服，一双鞋子，一个包。其实男人也一样，不过他们少的是一套运动服，一双运动鞋，一个摄影包/户外双肩背包——而已。

而且老是评论电子产品或网站太无趣了，于是来蛋疼地发个跑鞋对比评测吧。

某种意义上，这类似于日本车vs米国车的对比评测。Toyota - Asics，Honda - Mizuno，Ford - Nike，GM - New Balance，Chrysler - Brooks（请不要三大米国车厂商代入“普文二”公式，谢谢）

壹·基本情况

Asics Gel-Nimbus 12
购入时间：08/2011
颜色：白/蓝
里程：约120公里
实际购入价/建议零售价：$69/$125
尺寸（美）：男/9D
重量：340克

Brooks Glycerin 8
购入时间：10/2011
颜色：银灰/蓝
里程：约25公里
实际购入价/建议零售价：$45/$130
尺寸（美）：男/9D
重量：368克

两款购买时都不是最新款。原因是，虽然运动鞋不是时尚产品，但和衣服一样，最新款的售价都和建议零售价差不多，上一年款的却能便宜不少。而一双跑鞋的寿命，只有大约四百到六百公里，若您体重重一点，运动量大一点，不到一年就报销了，买新款也不划算。不过，据网上的资料，Nimbus 13和Nimbus 12差不多，但Glycerin 9相比Glycerin 8就有较大改动了。

贰·图

上视

可以看到，Glycerin长得比较“传统”，Nimbus则比较怪异，主要是开口位置偏向侧面，而不是正上方，初穿上脚时观感会有些违和。另一个区别是Nimbus的前脚掌部分比较窄（不如说“正常”），Glycerin则要偏宽一些，穿着时脚容易左右乱动。另：Asics的鞋垫上本也有商标之类的，已然被磨干净鸟。

侧视
Nimbus比Glycerin要高一二公分，前者大概有五六公分的增高效果吧= =||||

别看是浅色鞋（也有深色可供选购），其实还挺耐脏的。九月末时我穿着Nimbus遇到一米国同学，伊看到这鞋便问，hey, r u wearing new shoes? 仆便挺开心地答，yip, but they're two months old now, actually.

叁·tl;dr的文字评述

一般运动鞋选择尺码时，要比非运动鞋大半号到一号。不过运动久了，俺穿刚来米国时挺合适的8.5码的鞋也已有点小了。这两双鞋都是七两左右，算是比较重的。但俺本来体重也比较大（75kg），又不是参加比赛要尽可能减轻重量，还是选择鞋底厚点的保护膝盖比较重要。这两双鞋都属于Neutral-Cushioning类别，适合没有平足，pronation不足或适中的人。

Nimbus穿上的第一感受，就是，非常软，非常舒适。一方面，整个鞋底和鞋垫的泡沫材料很软；另一方面，它那长得有点奇怪的开口设计，几乎彻底消灭了鞋舌和鞋带勒在脚上时的异物感，只有把鞋带绑得很紧时，才会有常见的那种硌脚感。相比之下，Glycerin的这种舒适度就很不如。

此外，Glycerin自带的鞋带儿要短不少，绑的时候没有Nimbus那么顺手。

然后说说鞋底。前面说了，Nimbus的鞋底要厚一点，软不少，在静立或走路的时候，比Glycerin舒服一些。不过在跑步的时候这也带来问题，类似于气没打足的车胎，在驾驶时会感到加速比较费力，像我这种体重较重的，每跑一步都会“陷下去”。相比之下，Glycerin舒适性不如，但跑起来有种脚底下有弹簧的感觉，脚着地后会弹起来。

这也带来另一个差别——Nimbus的抓地力强一些，转弯比较容易，但因为摩擦阻力大了，长距离时的疲劳感也积累的快一些。

于是选择时，感觉Nimbus适合体重较轻（因而下陷不那么严重），多在较硬路面上运动的人（更需要较软的鞋的保护）；而Glycerin适合体重较重，或者路面较软（草地，塑胶跑道）的情况。

另，虽说我看不大出来，但据说较软的鞋，磨损也较快。

以及，Glycerin的前脚掌上翘比较大，如果跑步时偏向前脚掌着地，似乎更加合适。

最后，据说Glycerin 9比起8来软了很多，向Asics靠拢了。

以后有机会，再去试试New Balance 1064/1080吧。

Eulogy

2011-10-31T21:24:00.002-05:00

前年，Yahoo宣告了Geocities之死。

去年，M$宣告了Windows Live Spaces之死。

如今，Google宣告了GReader中分享功能之死。

以上三者有什么共同点呢？它们的用户主要都是影响力不大的普通人，与x浪、忒忒儿那种以名人名博为中心的模式形成鲜明对比；它们有社交内容，但重点不在社交，至少不是非死不可那样的为社交而社交，而在于内容的创作/收集；虽然用户中鱼龙混杂，但高质量内容的浓度很高——窃以为自己的GReader里别人分享的内容，或曰“信息流”，大概有50%都是值得一看的，换到非死不可或银银网，这个比例能有5%么？

嘛，也许人人间性情不同喜好不同。于仆眼中，Facebook如同一群人摆筵席胡吃海喝，而GReader更像两三好友安静小酌。对于更喜欢后者的人来说，真的成了“热闹是他们的”了。

以及，不觉得股沟已经走上了雅虎或巨硬的老路了么？

关于教育和成长的自省若干（二）

2011-10-18T22:22:00.001-05:00

上周开了千余公里，跑了两趟芝加哥。感谢空旷的阿贡国家实验室和tocho志莹假牙姐的款待。趁心情大好之际把想法有了很久的这篇也码出来好了。

话说暑假的一天，在昌平村里轧马路，遇到几个东亚面孔在街头发小广告，是个什么“K-On Karaoke”。作为拿起话筒也只擅长捏着伪娘嗓音嚎《北京一夜》女声部分的一介KTV苦手，随手把传单丢在办公室，一个（来自中国的）本科小姑娘看到了，对各位同仁说，这个是她男朋友和他几个朋友开的，欢迎各位有空去玩。

当时小吃一惊也就把这事儿忘了。后来在一次p大校友聚会上，有师兄讲起关于昌平KTV的掌故，说是，昌平本来没有KTV，后来有几个韩国人开了一间，以韩国歌曲为主兼顾中日文等，当然结果就是中文歌的时效性只能到万水千山总是情这种水平，华人实力唱将们仍只好去大城市唱。再后来，“听说最近有个新的，叫K什么——哦对，K-On的，里面中文歌挺全的，生意不错”，接着又补充一句，“好像是几个本科生开的。”

接着又看到同学在校内网上写的日志，“美国卡拉OK酒吧的潜规则”，结尾总结道：

总结之一，只要脸皮厚，这些规矩全不管，也没人会把你怎么样的。总结之二，在美国的大城市还是有东亚式小黑屋KTV的，虽然上次我们去的那个长得更像是自习室。总结之三，还是回国唱比较爽……

于是又想，固然“还是回国唱比较爽”深得我心，但换个角度来看，80后研究生和90后富二代本科生的思维方式区别，恐怕可类比于女人和男人的思维方式差异——卡拉OK在中国从VHS录像带时代开始流行了这么多年，昌平的中国ws研究僧和博后叫兽们也来了一茬又一茬，对华文KTV的需求一直存在，供给却直到这个金融危机州政府财政困难，公立大学需要多招很多交得起高学费的中国富二代本科生的时代，才在这帮新人们手上实现。（顺便一提，最近这儿的一次中国学生会主席选举，没有研究生提出参选，于是有位高中就送来米国读的本科dd便以等额选举当选了。）

所以，虽然如今80后们大概掌握了互联网的话语权，拳打70后说他们靠房地产泡沫爽了一把却要我们埋单，脚踢90后00后说他们骄横任性，俺却有点觉得，除了好得有限的谦虚谨慎这点，我们实在没什么资格鄙视90后或詈骂富二代。我们的行动力、眼界和英语口语恐怕都不如他们。甚至，瞻前顾后，可能我们是最眼高手低的一代。

便又想起自己和一些米国本科生的交流。自己在实验室带的两位，有一位本可以早点儿毕业，但是想读医学院需要攒学费，于是留一年当助研，赚点钱便可少贷点款；另一位毕业尚早，但低年级繁重课业之余，还要在校外打工。在村里三年多，各种常去餐馆的年轻面孔打工仔打工妹也换了一批又一批。还有位在米国某地读本科的不常来往的亲戚，一问，居然也对所在地附近的各种快餐是否招人，工资水平如何等等熟门熟路。

这就扯到了米国高等教育体系常被诟病的一点：学费太贵。在p大读了四年，对很多同学而言，每年学费恐怕父或母亲一个月的税后收入都绰绰有余。而在米国，对一个中等收入的家庭，公立大学一年的学费差不多是整个家庭税前年收的四分之一到一半，私立大学更要翻倍了。于是打工的自然多。而据统计，平均每个本科毕业生大概背着一万多刀的学生贷款，贷款的总额在今年则超过了一万亿。如果天朝的教育是人民肩上的三座大山之一，米国人民肩上的就是珠穆朗玛峰了。

不过除了打工浪费时间外，这样也有个“好处”，就是米国青年们在遇到选择时，可能不会像我们这样太理所当然地决定要不要上大学（以及，要不要出国留学），大学的毕业率也没有我们这么高。不要小瞧这一点，当年要不是因为某私立学院的学费太贵，要花掉养父母一生积蓄，乔教主大概不会从大学退学，也不会去印度或者创建水果神教。

而对我们（特指中国的80后）而言，“正确”的选项太容易太明显了，便可以一再推迟从父母师长那里心理断奶，做出自己决定的年龄。诚然，对多数人来说，既有的已被前人探索成熟的路线便是最好的选择。不过我暑假回国时和父母一聊，听说他们单位的子弟，我的同龄人中，有好几位就这样从大学毕业了，却过上了不找工作让父母养着的家里蹲生活，有的都快30岁了。这真是出乎意料，想想，却也理所当然。

幸好，似乎以上论断都是仅就自己接受的教育和看到的个别事例得出以偏概全。这不，在芝加哥时和tocho谈及某比我们大一级的师兄，才得知，已经飞速地毕业和回国创业了。

关于教育与成长的自省若干（一）

2011-10-18T22:21:00.005-05:00

（图文无关）

刚从国内回来的这学期以来，在下这根在大学环境里炸了七八年的老油条，忽然就过上了有为青年司马懿的生活。不但学习用功实验努力，连跑步打球水准都提高了。

原因？大概不是涨了薪水，而是在实验室里开始带着两位本科生工作。之前单知道带本科生是不错的锻炼机会，也可以省去自己很多繁琐重复的“小本”级别的活儿，转而更加投入到“烟酒僧”级的工作中去。带了，才知道一点儿都不轻松，人家本科生课业繁重（说实话虽然基础可能不如中国学生，但米国本科生的课业可真比天朝大学沉重），课外活动众多之余，巴巴地抽出那么五到十小时，慕您老板的名来到这里，您只有一句“对不起，因为我这周实验没什么进展，没什么可以让你做的事情”打发掉，是多么问心有愧的事情。怎么办？硬着头皮用功呗。

工作努力了，除了早睡早起身体好外，荒村中N点一线的生活也过得更加充实开心了。于是俺就想，自己是怎么在最近五六年中丢掉二十岁时那种锐气，变成拖延症患者的呢？

别的拉拉杂杂的原因当然有很多，但近来又想到了一点。从小受的教育和接受的观念中，隐隐约约都觉得，只要（只有）接受了充分的教育，准备万全以后，就（才）能去做好相应的事情。例如，学好了英语课本，才有资格和外国友人交流；学好了C++/算法/数据结构，才可以去写严肃用途的程序；读大学时不要去打工，因为你还没准备好从事“正经的工作”。具体到实验室的情形，也一直觉得，自己的进展不够好，带本科生的条件还不成熟，也就一直没向老板要求增添“手下”。但实际情形呢？在老板把两位本科同学“硬塞”给我负责后，就算是进展还不成熟，也会努力加快进展。

而那种“准备好之后才能去承担责任”的方式，正是拖延症的源泉。年轻时需要承担的责任简单，可能纸上谈兵就能准备好，没什么问题。而随着年龄的增长，面对的事务和责任越发复杂，“我还没准备好”就越发成为缺乏行动力的借口。实则，面对这种情况，再怎么纸上谈兵提高自我修养也没用，只有把自己丢进去，在准备好前先承担起责任，才有希望让自己真正获得做好这件事的能力。

于是又想通了很久以来的一点疑问：很小的时候也曾受过父亲体罚，然而到某个时间点（大约三岁）之后，就再也没有过。一直在想，难道是自己突然一下子就长大变乖了么？现在想想显然不是，不止是小不点儿的我，那时刚过而立之年的父亲，在承担起更多的责任之后，也学习、成长了呢。

PR == "Personal Record"

2011-10-08T21:02:00.000-05:00

最近留意了一下，几项运动的PR是：
5km跑步: 21'57"
10km跑步: 49'45"
50m游泳: 45"
2.5km游泳: 57'25"

虽然比起高手来实在弱爆了，不过对比约一年前的（大概）数字：
5km: 26'
10km: 54'
50m: 65"
2.5km: 抽筋

还是进步了不少的。而且体重还增长了10lb。

不过想起来有次和系主任聊天，说是，他年轻的时候，曾能够每天游泳2个mile——以仆的标准也算是猛人了。不过他现在（五六十岁）呢？伊和大多数这个年纪的白人男一样，是个谢顶，肚腩突出的大胖子——了。

现在大家都在用什么浏览器及杂感

2011-10-01T21:59:00.002-05:00

话说几个月前有个假新闻，说是对超过十万网虫的“研究”发现，IE信者的智商显著低于平均，而Opera（及其他一些冷门浏览器）的用户高于平均。于是乎，僕为了提高本来就已经很高的智商装上了它。结果实在用不惯，很快又回到鸟火狐的怀抱。

其实Opera也曾给力过。很多年前，他家用Java写的手机浏览器Opera Mini，虽然如其他Java手机程序一样，在俺的老诺基亚上慢得要死，但一切流量都从北欧的Opera的服务器中转，对天朝用户来说乃是翻墙利器（当然，当时翻墙利器很多，远不如今日的举步维艰）。可惜大家都知道，要想在天朝市场生存，不跟方校长合作是不行的。于是如今天朝Opera Mini的流量也是从墙内的服务器中转了，Opera的意义也就剩下测试本Blog在各种操作系统和浏览器下的显示效果。

最近又有个新闻，说是Chrome的市占率将要超过Firefox，成为浏览器市场的老二。看到这个有点小伤心。Firefox（还有Opera等果然要出师未捷身先死了么。不妨想想Android，它要撼动iOS市场老大的地位（不要跟我说装机量，显然作为一个“生态系统”，让软件开发者赚到钱活下去才是衡量成功的标准），可预见的将来内大概是不可能。但它很成功地干掉了WebOS这类可能在用户体验上比它更优秀的小平台。觉得Chrome也是类似，它大概不会击败IE，但在杀死其他浏览器的效率上倒是很优秀的。于是我们应该准备告别自由竞争的市场，迎来寡头的时代？无论选择姓A，姓M，还是姓G，背后总有老大哥的幽灵，微笑着孜孜不倦地把用户的小裤裤都看个透。

嘛，但是因为有Zotero，咱还是可以坚定不移地再坚持Firefox几年的。

题外话，有天去参加图书馆组织的一个Zotero Workshop。主持人大姐开头就讲，“Zotero only works with Firefox.” 然而，在她教大家“Open your firefox”的时候，一位老中大哥便举起手来，“Can I use”……接下来是一堆含混的嘟嘟囔囔。大姐问了半天，终于明白他原来读不来“explorer”这个单词。于是又重复，是在Firefox平台上编写的，只能用Firefox云云。于是大哥居然有些恼怒了，“Why can't I use exp*****?”，“How do this sh*t no use exp*****.”blahblah了半天才平息，讲座得以继续下去。于是真有点疑惑，俺那50多岁只有高中文化也不会英语的爹娘都能接受IE以外的浏览器，这有博士学位还出了国的看上去只有30多的大哥，咋就这样呢。

听了这么多年才发现

2011-09-28T01:16:00.001-05:00

贝多芬作品131号的第四乐章，主题虽然听起来像是连续的单声部，但其实是这样的，“主旋律”如下图红线所示，在小提琴I与小提琴II间跳跃：
为什么今天注意到了这个呢？是因为晚上去了Pacifica（该翻译成“帕西非卡”还是“太平洋”还是“和平”呢？）弦乐四重奏的演出。这个四重奏是弊校的叫兽，还是纽约现代艺术博物馆的驻馆四重奏，还得过一次格莱美“最佳室内乐”奖。他们要在这一季在俺办公楼对面儿把十六部贝氏四重奏演一遍。

这第一场下来，仆回去路上想起第一小提琴演奏中盯着乐谱傻笑的表情，也忍不住手舞足蹈来。

开演之前四位有个和观众的座谈会。会上一个老太太问，“如果让你们问老贝一个问题，你们会问什么？”卷发鹰钩鼻大提琴大叔接过话筒即答：“Would you write us another string quartet?”众大笑，鼓掌。这大提琴大叔是个话痨，还给大家吹嘘，他的琴可是1580年制造的，差不多是现存世界上最早的“现代”大提琴了。

黑发胡渣中提琴手也挺有趣儿。他是东亚北欧混血，叫Masumi（不知道是“正清”还是“益美”）什么什么的。他很得意地说，老贝作为音乐家的第一份工作，就是在乐团拉中提琴。然后，他更加得意地说，他的中提琴是1770年制造的，你们知道这年世界上发生了什么重要的事情么？当然，答案是贝多芬出生了。

说到演奏，曲目中有作品74号“竖琴”四重奏。您可能知道，之所以叫“竖琴”是因为第一乐章中充斥着各种拨奏。当然现场和听CD不同的地方是，您可以看到手的动作，于是同一条流畅的旋律，其实是四个人分段交替拨奏出来的。也许是我乐谱读的少，觉得老贝这个扭曲的人似乎特别喜欢来这似连实断的一套，这个无论是能弹“Hammerklavier”的高手，还是俺这种只能弹献给爱丽丝的菜鸟，都有所体会吧。反正，演奏家都是ドM，作曲家的技术要求越是扭曲变态，能演奏出来的他们越有成就感。

曲目的编排，是老贝早中晚期四重奏各一部。开头的作品18-2，虽然观众反应也很好，但如各种音乐会的惯例，也是最平淡的一曲了。接下来作品74，当他们把琴弦拨得响彻云霄的时候，相信任何观众都略微体会到了，他们座谈会上反复强调的，“我们每天排练里都要有贝多芬的四重奏——当然，当下为了应付这些音乐会是每天都有许多部”，“老贝的四重奏，是我们在四重奏这个职业道路上走下去的动力”，“很多作品你排练多了，就会有成为‘惯例’的感觉，但老贝的不一样，每次都能发现新的东西，加进去新的解读”……如此等等。且不论演奏技术什么的，我演奏中听到的满是真诚的热爱啊。

到了下半场漫长的作品131时，俺突然意识到，这部听成‘惯例’的作品，其实内容也比印象中丰富得多。别的不说，但说作品中浮现的各种主题，每个拿来像第五交响曲那样回旋曲折地发展一番，可能都能成为优秀的独立作品。但感觉老贝就只是颇为潦草地把这些主题草草演绎一下，囫囵揉在一处，真有暴殄天物之感了。

iPad 2心得及吐槽

2011-08-20T13:01:00.000-05:00

本想为本文来个校内体标题，诸如“玩iPad2的孩子你伤不起”啦，“遇到玩iPad2的男人你就嫁了吧”啦，“男人玩了会流泪女人玩了会沉默”啦，“每个玩iPad2的孩子上辈子都是少了一个肾的天使”啦。不过还是从风之谷以来就一直是坚定的反技术主义者的宫崎骏大师最狠，他说——大概大家都知道了——电车上玩儿iPad的宅男们，姿势看上去，就好像在自慰一样。那么“每个玩iPad2的孩子上辈子都是打飞机打到肾亏的天使”，这个标题也不错。iPad便是那风月鉴，我们便是那贾天祥，啧啧啧。

宫老恶毒归恶毒，不过暑期回国，托国内i设备那令人吃惊的保有量的福，我多少理解了他对拿着iPad的电车男的嫌恶。无论是老友吃饭打牌KTV，或者是公车地铁上和邻座的邂逅，只要拿出一个i设备来盯住按几下，周身上下立刻就可以形成一个水泼不入针插不进的绝对领域（姑谓之曰Apple Tech Field可也），向周围人表明自己对面对面交流的拒绝。更讽刺的是，这个时候他正在上的，很可能还是非死不可，银银网这类“社交”网站。可能有异议说其他的智能手机乃至非智能手机也能做到这一点，不过，总归是苹果和非死不可吹响了这场革命的号角——说不定正是人类迈向Matrix时代的序曲呢。

以上都是废话。实则是暑假中花了九百多刀，买了个64G ＋ AT&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;T 3G的iPad 2外加皮质Smart Cover一个带回国送人。在送出手之前，以“把它调成中文”为名，玩了约一个月。同时这一个月里，弊村新开了一家Best Buy，里面有各种新式平板电脑供试用，俺也去玩了若干小时。所以以下的评价中，一部分是相对意义上的，比如iPad 2比“三星的iPad”或“摩托罗拉的iPad”好或坏的地方；另一部分则是绝对意义上的，就像您即使比潘长江高了不少，但达不到一米八，也还是入不了征婚论坛上许多女人的法眼。

于是以下是僕的具体评价：

【＋】用来送礼时基本上是众多平板电脑中唯一拿的出手的。当然，露在外面的苹果商标也是最容易吸引贼人的。

【＋】软硬综合表现一骑绝尘。其他厂家的产品，基本上都是出来前吹得让你以为放了卫星，出来后才知道其实放的是鸽子。和教主这种推出前秘而不宣，推出后众生倾倒的做派一比，难怪其他产品卖不出去呢。

【＋】重量厚度和做工基本上是市面上最好的。摩托罗拉、宏碁、华硕之类傻大黑粗不说，虽说三星的更轻，但那充满塑料感的背壳和iPad 2的铝壳（啊，成都富士康铝粉爆炸的冤魂）一比，就不在一个水准上了。

【－】但一斤二两还是有点儿重，于是坐着/躺着用时，开始还能坚持着举起来，后面就慢慢变成自慰的姿势了。

【＋】4:3的比例。比起其他16:10或16:9的东西，拿在手上更像一本书。虽说希望下一代能是2048x1536——哪怕1400x1050也行啊。

【＋】有中文界面和可以用的中文输入法。不要以为这个很容易。比如PlayBook就没有中文界面，三星的就没有可以用的中文输入法。

【－】中文界面翻译总体上很生硬，更有些地方很坑爹，比如某个地方输错密码导致的“Authentication failed ”居然翻成了“鉴定失败”。

【－】简体中文输入法没有我名字的第三个字。明明OSX上的简中输入法里都有的。

【－】手写输入法居然每写完一个字都要选一下，不如众多N记M记手机那种开始写下一个字时，上一个字就自动上屏的设计方便直观。

【－】没有农历，日历只能是公历。年历倒是可以选择，比如有“日本日历”，结果选上就仅仅是变成了“平成xx年”，那万一天皇龙驭上宾了，继位的年号还不知道，怎么办？而且既然是这种坑爹的年历，为何不加上中华民国xx年或黄帝纪年法呢。

【＋】软键盘设计大小得当，反应灵敏，基本可以盲打。

【－】软键盘得多按一下才有数字键。输入密码/复杂网址就不方便了。

【＋】屏幕的鲜艳度/视角比摩托的好。

【－】但是有一天我坐在火车上，窗外太阳光斜斜地照进来，屏幕就看不清楚了。

【＋】虽然硬件参数不是最高，但界面是最流畅的。大家都知道Android产品需要两倍的硬件性能和耗电量才能做到同样的事情，加上黄老板的Tegra2的偷工减料，所以界面基本上都很卡。PlayBook倒是流畅度比较接近。

【－】我完成了iPad版植物大战僵尸全成就，生存模式大概二三十关的时候画面就变成ppt了。

【＋】号称放视频10个小时的电池时间。

【－】实测用wifi在浏览里放视频的情况下，大概是30-40分钟就能消耗10%的电量。折合6小时左右？

【－】使用3G信号时，充电时，发热量都比较大。而且充电很慢。

【＋】Smart Cover想法很有趣，虽然据说不是苹果原创的。

【－】Smart Cover不能从背面贴在机身上。而且有时会挡住摄像头。而且折成支架时其实不怎么稳定，一碰就倒。

【＋】据说屏蔽了Flash，为您节约电池寿命和增强安全性。

【－】虽说Flash是烂泥扶不上墙，但苹果鼓吹的所谓HTML5也是不折不扣的坑爹。电池时间如上所述，估计比Flash并没有太多改进。而且在俺测试的视频网站中，除了YouTube以外，都有不小的Bug：Hulu，Vimeo，优酷，土豆的HTML5播放器，进度条要么拖不动，要么拖动了就从头开始重新缓冲，要么就是放个前20%就再也缓冲不动；像NicoVideo这种不用标准HTML5播放器的视频站，不但经常跳出“Get_flv_error”（用同一个wifi网络上的电脑看就毫无问题），一旦合上Smart Cover再重新打开，视频就只剩声音不见图像。总之，如果你只看YouTube的话，用HTML5倒是不错。其他的，“用户体验”还不如PC上的Flash呢。

【－】说到YouTube，中文界面中，不能把YouTube这个不存在的网站的图标去掉或换成优酷土豆么。同理，还有最近做的不咋样的Google Maps不能换成Bing，Safari里的搜索引擎也没有百度可以选。顺便一提没有自带Facebook和Twitter，是因为苹果打算涉足相关领域么？

【＋】即使中文的应用商店和谐了许多东西，还是有很多软件供选择。

【－】好多软件看上去标题和说明都是中文，装上才发现其实只有英文界面。还有，如果像~~PlayBook和~~一些诺基亚或Android设备那样，自带iWorks就好了。

【＋】App Store里卖的都是游戏，我周围有iPad 1/2的人用的最多的也是游戏。是台优秀的游戏机。

【－】总而言之，iPad 2对我来说，是一个很适合用来送礼，也仅仅适合用来送礼的高档电子玩具，而已。

虽说无甚哲学素养

2011-06-24T22:51:00.005-05:00

乃至更广义的人文社科素养，不过还是在此介绍俩挺有趣的英文因特网广播（或叫“播客”，或英文的podcast——虽然不需要iPod也可以听）。

一个叫History of Philosophy，大概每周一集。是伦敦大学国王学院Peter Adamson叫兽做的通俗向（西方）哲学史讲座。

另一个叫Common Sense with Dan Carlin，约两周一集。基本上是一个揭批当今米国社会如何正在丧失自由，通往奴役之路的政论节目。（不过放心，您从他这里听到的内容大概和某日银民报旗下时报不太一样。）

其实他（其实从事因特网广播的“她”比“他”少得多）们的广播吸引俺的主要原因，并非是观点、内容之类，而是两位主持人的声线语气语调：一位比较温和，从不提高嗓门，但故事讲得引人入胜，能令人发笑（上帝也在发笑）但又保持在乐而不淫的程度；另一位则是个愤青，语气始终很激动，但总能让俺产生共鸣，并不感觉狗血或drama queen。内容放在一边，把故事讲得有趣（尤其是在通过广播，抛开图像啦手势啦什么的时候）很是种语言艺术，譬如，TED的很多演讲者可能在做很了不起的事情，但讲得却蛮无趣或狗血；而The Moth很多普通的故事（虽然也有不普通的），往往却更能抓住人心。在俺的脑补中，两位主持人的形象一受一攻，亚当森大概是位比较奶油的书生，卡尔林则多半是个虬髯大汉，结果股沟伊美姬一下，哈，恰好相反——不过总之光听声音，他们都是魅力大叔啦……

嗯，话说某日听一集哲学史，讲到柏拉图。提到，柏拉图对雅典的“民主”并不怎么感冒，因为他们民主地杀死了他的老师苏格拉底。联想了一下，民主雅典处死苏格拉底所用的罪名中，一条是不敬神祗，另一条是蛊惑青年。如果是在当代，这种事情最可能在哪个国家发生呢？嗯，我猜，不是米国不是欧洲也不是天朝，而是——伊朗，吧…………

豆腐渣校舍的记忆及其他

2011-06-17T21:36:00.005-05:00

去年还是前年青海地震，通过某个在米的慈善机构捐了点儿小钱。于是今年赶415的报税死线时，俺的税表从1040nr-ez，变成了1040nr。幸好学校提供了自动报税软件，否则折腾起来就不easy鸟。

不过最让俺不满的是，捐了这次钱后，俺不但收到了收据和感谢信这类必要文本，还收到了七八次各种名目的小玩意儿，贺年片，冰箱贴等等。总之就是这个慈善机构，想要俺向他们的各种项目捐钱。后来，还有其他组织的信件要求捐款。俺在想，你们这么搞，得多花多少钱，多砍多少树啊，把收到的捐款好好拿去办正事不好吗？当然，俺也知道，这些慈善组织的overhead可能也就10%左右，说少不少说多也不多，精打细算维持着也不易。不过嘛（以俺为代表的）人类大约是这样一种动物，自己对别人的恩，总比别人对自己的恩记得清楚，所以这样做的效率很值得怀疑就是了。

说到慈善这个话题，几个月前听一个广播节目。里面讲，节目组去了海地，报道了某所被震垮的学校。后来制作方收到了一些听众的捐款，大概有三千刀。学校校长得知后很激动，说，有这三千块钱，我可以重建一所崭新的小学了。于是节目组就把钱给了他。

结果呢，若干月后回访，发现三千刀已耗尽，而新学校只有一个地基而已。某个退休的科罗拉多建筑承包商热心听众，去实地考察了一番，结论是这校长倒没贪腐，只是太天真，远远高估鸟三千美刀能办到的事情。他又发现，尽管海地的重建也在风风火火地进行，但由于各种原因，很多新修好的建筑，大概就是为了在下次地震中被震垮吧。

于是这位建筑商认真做了预算，结论是为了修一所在下一次地震中不会垮的学校，大概需要二十万米刀。于是节目组又呼吁热心观众捐款，同时，因为广播制作方没有免税资格，他们把收钱的任务外包给了某个有资格慈善组织——米国还真有慈机构织专门承接这类慈善避税业务的。也难怪国内的NGO似乎很容易因为税务问题被搞。总之是，他们好歹筹到了钱，开了工，至于结果如何，咱还不晓得。

说到这二十万米刀，俺想起了上世纪末小学四年级时。那时我们从临时校舍搬了出来，搬进了新教学楼。开学典礼上升了旗，校长讲话，提到厂里（国企子弟学校嘛）对学校非常重视，拨了一百多万来给我们修建新校舍。从此，俺对“一百万人民币”的印象就是，可以盖一栋三层楼，六个年级每个年级两个班，还有音乐教室，美术教室，乒乓球室和电脑室（摆满了Apple II）的校舍，外面贴着蓝色和白色的马赛克片，经常剥落下来被小盆友们拣去玩。

后来呢，俺毕业了离开了爹娘的“厂里”。那时盖新楼已经不兴贴马赛克而偏好玻璃幕墙了。再后来四川地震了，那栋校舍外墙被震出了若干个大窟窿，必须拆了重修。但好歹还算瓷实，没垮，没死人。从这个角度来说，这一百多万大概还是值的——虽然这钱大概现在只能在帝都的豪华地段盖个厕所鸟。

Untitled Document XXII

2011-06-04T13:29:00.004-05:00

某日在昌平一群朋友吃饭，一大桌子就只有我未婚。而且他们大多有儿女了，于是和他们谈及小娃儿的教育问题。

俺说，俺以前去加州玩儿，感觉那边的华人家长都很变态，家家都逼着娃儿学钢琴小提琴画画儿什么的。果然还是风气问题啊，有一个虎妈变态了，在peer pressure下全体家长都变成虎爸虎妈了。

座上一长我十多岁的说，“你想错了，不是加州的华人变态，全米的华人家长都是这么变态。”

接着另一位小时候在国内也学过琴啊画啊什么的男生也表示，这样逼着孩子学这么多的确有些欠妥。

接着一女同学表示反对意见，说，“我才后悔小时候没有人逼着我学这学那呢。”又说，“等我有了孩子，它得学一样乐器，学一门美术，还要学一种体育运动，还要学中文……”

她老公（小时候也学过琴的）插嘴评论道，“这就是变态。”

俺问，是不是还要学个fà语德语西班牙语神马滴啊？曰，那当然。

看来虎妈不需要耶鲁教授这个档次的知识分子，在我们身边就不是小概率事件了。

几天后俺想起来，那这样的娃儿一天时间得怎么安排呢？假设是九岁以前，算笔帐：

十小时睡觉

八小时上学(即使课业没这么多，父母上班的八小时孩子总不能跟到单位去吧)

一小时乐器

一小时美术

半小时体育

半小时中文

于是这样，每天就剩下仨小时了。加上吃饭刷牙洗脸的时间，上下学通校的时间，好孩子要帮爸爸妈妈做家务的时间等等，啊，真充实啊。

九岁以后呢？可能每天可以只睡八九个小时了。然而，数学要不要学？外语要不要学？弹琴到了一定等级，每天一个小时的练习也不够了吧？如果文科学术到了一定等级，是不是还要学腊丁语希腊语希伯来语？

啊，俺是不是该庆幸比这样的娃儿早生了二三十年呢？

厩焚子退朝曰傷人乎不問馬

2011-05-20T22:56:00.005-05:00

读到成都富士康爆炸的新闻有感。

惭愧的是，此条新闻俺的第一反应是，米国这边那些排队的黄牛们tmd又能赚一笔了。当俺也这么想时，甚至羡慕嫉妒恨时，水准就跟那些黄牛一个样了。不过据说好多黄牛都是F2H4偷渡客等等，也都是苦孩子啊。

不过某为正牌果饭所不齿的山寨厂对待工人，从做表面文章这个方面看，似乎就比诸多国际名牌安心与信赖的富士康好了许多。但即使如此，谁知道他们在组装时有没有用到价廉物美的来自富士康的电容、插槽之类的零部件呢，总觉得这大约无可避免的说，大家都在以别人的痛苦构筑自己的幸福生活。

"I don't fail. I quit."

2011-05-08T19:53:00.000-05:00

标题来自某个广播访谈里一位传记作家的转述，传主是厌倦了维持巨额庞氏骗局，弃置事业，退隐大牢的麦道夫。即使入了狱，这位银行家也不承认失败，说，还有许多人急着给他送钱呢。

有趣的是其中一个细节，这位作家采访了狱中的麦大爷，对他的印象是，不像那些以前她采访过的普通华尔街骗子们，油光粉面巧舌如簧。麦大爷并没有典型魅力型权威的气质，和他来往时他会反而让您觉得，您才是他遇到过的最有魅力的人。

从这个角度来说，自知和知人是一枚硬币的两面啊。

于是去跑了半马

2011-04-30T14:07:00.000-05:00

之前说是要好好训练，结果也因为林林总总的事儿基本没有训练。而且早晨吃喝多了，中途不得不去了次洗手间，于是用时略超出了2小时，杯具。

嘛，明年再战吧。不过如果这一年训练的好，说不定明年就跑得动全马了。

耶稣受难日地球日清华校庆复活节

2011-04-23T15:34:00.001-05:00

这些节日随便咋样都无所谓啦。

有趣的事儿是，之前一日的中午（如果按天朝时间算，已然是耶稣受难日凌晨两点了），俺在学校里买吃的，和排队的人说到明天是地球日，一个穿着青灰色工作服的路人跑来搭话。他说，他的房子里装了太阳能电池板，雨水收集器，还有一个没听清楚的地热装置。他没有电脑没有电视没有电话，能源需求只有做饭和两盏照明用的电灯泡。这样的结果，虽然他家的供电还是和电网联结在一起的，但是反而是他把多余的电力供给电网，所以每个月电力公司还倒贴$80的报酬——这就是非常应景的，只靠地球来生存。接着话锋一转，说，虽然我不上网，不过网络可以教给你折腾这些的方法哦。

虽然他说的是真的还是有些吹牛成分俺无法证实。不过若是真的实现了，该算是前现代还是后现代的生活方式呢？

Untitled Document XXI

2011-04-20T00:43:00.001-05:00

买了暑期回国机票，往返千余刀。跟友人ABC等讲，他们都说，好贵。又跟友人DEF等讲，评论则是，好便宜。人与人“价值观”的区别好大。

刚来昌平时认识的某p大师姐哲学医生答辩结束了。时间的流动似乎一直在加速。

某日听寻找地外智慧研究所的科普广播，里面讲到一个心灵鸡汤式的问卷：在纸上列出十件你花钱买过的最贵的东西，再列出十件买了以后使你感到最开心的东西。据某研究者的问卷调查，这两张表的重合度往往不高。不过有件东西往往在交集里：美食。

为什么呢，广播主持人的说法是，“Our survival instinct to eat, social instinct to converse, and sexual instinct to flirt all converge at a dinner table.” 想想这也是理所当然的事情呢。

某科学的图片搜索

2011-04-03T14:33:00.000-05:00

用三个著名搜索引擎的图片搜索查找“科学”，得到以下结果：

十年过去了，都不知道升高中考试物理化学什么的都改叫“科学”了呢。

音乐会记

2011-04-02T01:15:00.000-05:00

周四晚，来的是圣彼得堡爱乐。乐团的编制比通常能在弊村看到的，肥了一圈儿，低音提琴就有八架，以及竖琴（还是两台），英国管，短笛，大号之类的“非必须”乐器也一一上场。虽然乡村音乐厅空间局促，乐队的空间感，和力量上的动态范围却都拉的很宽广，气势十足，特别是弦乐合奏，连大提琴拨奏都有些儿恢弘的味道；但这合奏也同时也干脆整齐得简直不像在合奏。指挥大爷（他的上一任是穆拉文斯基）早在柏林墙倒塌之前就接掌了乐团，只好说，这不愧是二十多年调教出来的效果。缺点大概是速度、乐句连贯等等处理的有些粗糙。

总之，虽然俺不了解俄国人的民族性格或文化之类，但这回演出真是符合俺刻板印象中，俄国人处理古典音乐那激情暴力的风格。

有趣的是，其中一个节目是里姆斯基-科萨科夫的《俄罗斯复活节序曲》。以前没听过这个，其中好多片段恍惚觉得听到了中国民乐，如果放到上世纪的中国美术片中，同步率绝对爆表。不知道这其中有怎样渊源呢。

爱人与拜物及其他

2011-03-06T10:02:00.008-06:00

看到过好几次，不知道哪位（有人说是托马斯·阿奎那）说的这句话：人应该“love people and use things”，而非“love things and use people”。

某个上午在办公室看iPad 2（最大的亮点是那个磁性盖子）发布会的图文直播，就觉得在米国这种消费文化下，做到这点特别难。尽管失业率依旧高企，人们却已挡不住危机开始时稍稍收敛了点儿的消费的诱惑了。譬如iPhone都是和运营商签两年的合约，但新的型号总是一年一出，总是有重要（或者让您觉得重要）的改进。总有不少人过了一年就喜新厌旧。Android的新设备更是喷薄而出，几个月就会落伍，更恶心的是在这个节奏下，厂商往往只过一年，就停止对旧产品的技术支持和软件更新，别人都在用2.6.37了您只能用2.6.18，自会在欲壑里越陷越深。

当然这未必是浪费，淘汰的电子产品多半会被转手若干次，最后作为洋垃圾，处理到第三世界国家去。乔教主这值得敬佩的引领潮流，创造需求的能力，以及随之而来的拷贝猫们，也是米国这乏善可陈的经济状况中不多的亮点。不过这类“创造”出来的需求，有多少转化成了生产力，有多少用来炫耀时尚，或在工作时间走神，或祸害小孩子的视力，就很难有个乐观的估计了。如此这般，就真为开采稀土在内蒙古江西污染的环境，富士康员工的血汗，越洋空运中的化石燃料和温室气体，使用中耗费的电能，感到不值——但以这种心态来评价，又有多少事情值得做呢。

====无关笑话两则====
其一，基督教版。

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Are you religious?"

He said: "Yes."

I said: "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."

I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

以上笑话有些过分。和现实社会中的基督徒接触，觉得他们（至少绝大多数）不是这么偏狭的。不过有人据此发明了一个，其二，Emacs版：

I asked my email-pal: "UNIX or Windoze?". He replied "UNIX". I said "Ah...me too!".

I asked my email-pal: "Linux or AIX?".

He said "Linux, of course". I said "Me too".

I asked him: "Emacs or vi". He replied "Emacs". I said "Me too. Small world."

I asked him: "GNU Emacs or XEmacs?", and he said "GNU Emacs". I said "oh, me too."

I asked him "GNU Emacs 19 or GNU Emacs 20"? and he said "GNU Emacs 19". I said "oh, me too."

I asked him, "GNU Emacs 19.29 or GNU Emacs 19.34", and he replied "GNU Emacs 19.29".

I said "DIE YOU OBSOLETE NOGOOD SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED CELIBATE COMMIE FASCIST DORK!", and never emailed him again.

作为vi派最近心血来潮在学emacs，果然觉得在不停按Ctrl或Alt的设计，整个手都扭曲了。

这世界真可怕

2011-02-17T21:21:00.002-06:00

某日坐在当助教的课堂上的最后一排。前面有个小女生抱着台MacBook看与课程内容无关的网站。据俺的经验，通常小本们上课开小差上的网站都是非死不可，不过这个女生不同，伊正在看的网站叫做——Spokeo。

咱07还是08年的时候试用过一段时间这个网站。据说是史丹佛几个学生搞的，窥私利器。当时它的界面像Google首页一样质朴，玩儿法是，注册后输入邮件地址（或者导入邮箱通讯录），然后它就会自动开始搜索，寻找社交类网站（非死不可，网络日志，相册，MSN空间，等等）里能挖掘到的与这个邮件地址关联的信息，亦即，自动化批量化的人肉搜索引擎。我用它发现了好多同学的blog，然后在GReader里订阅了——不过绝大多数都没怎么更新。

时隔多年，现在再看一眼，界面已经花哨了不少，无需注册，便能直接搜索人名、邮件地址了，不过搜出来后只会告诉你它搜到了多少多少结果。想看具体内容的话？请购买收费服务。

嘛，欣慰的是他们没有做大，遗憾的是他们还没有倒掉。

无关话题：最近才晓得，非死不可上如果用假名是很可能被删帐号的。从这个角度来看，还真不适合作为米帝输出革命的工具呀。

近日报名了昌平半马

2011-02-13T01:25:00.001-06:00

痴长四分之一世纪还没参加过一次这种长跑活动真惭愧。年前和某不认识的同学吃饭，彼男曰，报名了半程马拉松。俺问，牛啊，敢问您5K要跑多久，答曰，从来没跑过5K那么远。心想，我了个〇这样的都要报名半马让俺情何以堪，遂冲动报名。

时限是3.5小时。这个时间走一半慢跑一半也能磨蹭到了。但为了那高达$50的报名费，似乎还是应该训练一下。四月底昌平野外的花还是开得很漂亮的。

于是今日小测一下，以比较轻松不累人的步伐跑了10K，再外推到21.1K，大概需要2小时。据说初次跑半马的同学应当单纯地以完成比赛为目标，不过咱还是想定目标为争取这么跑2小时完成呢……

另一个目标是在PhD毕业前跑一次全马。不知能不能实现。

然后顺便放狗搜了搜长跑训练什么的，在一个网站上看到说，如果您已经到了年过卅五，参加（哪怕只是跑10K）这类活动也是应该要咨询医生的。又如，过了三十岁，就应该每年检查癌症。身为年轻人的时光真是短暂哪。