When I found out, all I could think was “Too young, he was too young to die.”

I will never know how Brad felt about dying, but even though we didn’t stay in close contact after high school, it seemed like he was doing a good job of Living, and he had always been good at pursuing his passions and playing to his strengths, in high school, at the very least.

After the shock wore off that someone I had spent hours making jazz with, someone who had been in most of my classes, someone who had been in my wider circle of friends, had left this earth, I started thinking about his family, and I remembered all that my grandpa, aunts, and uncles had had to take care of when Grandma died. I remember the mundane details that simultaneously didn’t matter one bit in the face of the loss we were all feeling, but yet seemed to matter so much because they would be our last way of showing Grandma we loved her and to honor the amazing, joy-filled life she had lived before Alzheimer’s disease corrupted her sweet, spunky personality. I remember swearing that my loved ones would not have to struggle with those details, and I remember that not long after Grandma passed away, I found MyWonderfulLife.com.

This website lets you make all sorts of decisions about what you want to happen after your death. It doesn’t take the place of a will or any other end-of-life legal documents, but because of the way it works, it allows you to think about and communicate your wishes with the people who will be tending to all those funeral and disposition details in your passing.

Because I am comfortable with my death, it doesn’t stress me out or depress me to think about these things, as I imagine it does for some people. In fact, working on my obituary, planning my “funeral” (more on that in a minute), and taking care of those details makes me feel better; I am a planner, so I’m sure that’s part of it, but I also know that me making those decisions now will relieve some stress from my family when I die, and that is what I like about MyWonderfulLife.com.

Since I have my own little piece of the Internet here on this blog, I feel like putting some of wishes out here for others to think about and know. MyWonderfulLife.com lets you designate “angels,” people who can access your wishes after you are dead, so that they know what you want, but I have decided to put some of those on my blog, too. I’ve created a page on this blog called “After I’m Gone” where I will record my wishes, but my “angels” (you know who you are!) will have access to my full “After I’m Gone” wishes through MyWonderfulLife.com.

In the 21st Century, we also have an online persona that might live on past our expiration, and my best friend Sarah has agreed to deal with that part of me after I die. Rob knows where to find my passwords, and I have shared a Google Doc with Sarah that tells her what I would like done with my major social network accounts to ensure that they are secure and handled as I would like.

One last thing I have started doing is compiling a folder of pictures to use at whatever funeral-like gathering is held for me, so that loved ones don’t have to sift through all of those in the few days before the funeral.

I hope that these preparations will make my passing perhaps a tiny bit easier on the people who have showered my life with love, joy, and special memories.

Post Script

Upon Roger Ebert’s death, someone shared this article, called “I Do Not Fear Death” by Ebert, which I found very interesting.

The post I Am Not Afraid of Death [pt. 2] appeared first on Linden's Pensieve.

Das Leben is bunter als ich immer dachte.

Translation: Life is more beautiful than I had ever thought.

The post Das Leben ist Bunter als ich immer dachte [Wordless Wednesday] appeared first on Linden's Pensieve.

I am not afraid of death.

As I write this, I am 31 years, 19 weeks, and 3 days old; I should have, if I am average, about 36 years–over half my life–yet to live. That’s a long time. But I have also lived a lot in my 31.4 years. I’ve studied fascinating language concepts in college* in grad school. I spent two exciting years living in a foreign country. I once spent 4 hours and 49 minutes on a Saturday morning running 26.2 miles around the heart of Berlin. I’ve visited the Louvre and eaten real French crepes. I’ve eaten the most amazing fish and chips near King’s Cross Station in London, had Currywurst from an old East German Imbiss and Döner from the Turkish district in Berlin. I’ve fed birds at Notre Dame and watched from the top of the Arc de Triumph the hilarity that is those traffic circles. I’ve driven to Poland just to buy cigarettes (with and for my in-laws). I’ve been to the breath-taking Neuschwanstein castle–3 times. I’ve played a Fourth of July patriotic concert at the American Cemetery (where General Patton is buried) in Luxembourg City.

I’ve played canasta with my best friend for hours while eating chips, salsa, and queso at a Mexican restaurant. I won the 4th grade spelling bee. I’ve played Mozart piano sonatas and Maynard Ferguson jazz tunes. I’ve seen Maynard live, and I’ve seen Paul McCartney live, too. I’ve listened to five trumpeters give a concert from the top of a church tower in Gießen, the only part of the structure that still stands after a World War II bombing. I’ve seen the most beautiful flowers, clouds, landscapes…

I have experienced so much. I have loved so much it hurts, laughed so much I’ve cried**. I have felt deep, dark pain and sadness, and I have found joy in little things.

I am happy and proud of the life I’ve lived. If I died suddenly or after a long illness, I would be content.

Death does not scare me, but I would love to live a long life; think of everything else I would get to experience!

NOTES
* If learning does not equate to living for you, fair enough. I’m a curious soul, so learning stimulates me quite a bit. You live your life, I’ll live mine. ;)
** And peed my pants.

The post I Am Not Afraid of Death [pt. 1] appeared first on Linden's Pensieve.

Things aren’t always #000000 and #ffffff

The post Things Aren’t Always #000000 and #FFFFFF :: #nerdalert appeared first on Linden's Pensieve.

How to Be Amazing at Anytyhing

The post “How to Be Amazing at Anything” appeared first on Linden's Pensieve.

In the spirit of fun, today I’m sharing two fun little auto-correct puns I’ve found on Pinterest. Remember, auto-correct frowns upon foul language. Enjoy!

The post Dear Auto Correct… appeared first on Linden's Pensieve.

New Year’s Eve 2013 Fireworks – by @kglbltz

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Reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower on my iPad outside with coffee.

The post Modern Day Reading, With Coffee [Wordless Wednesday] appeared first on Linden's Pensieve.

I have been off Facebook for two weeks now, and I have spent a lot of that time thinking about how I can continue enjoying the balance and—dare I say it—sanity that I have experienced for the last two weeks. I need to go back, not just for work, but also because there are still some people who I stay in contact with best through Facebook. Here is how I am going to use Facebook on my own terms.

Avoiding Facebook the Time Sink

I see three ways of limiting the time I spend on Facebook.

1. Limit how long I spend on Facebook by using a timer each time I open the Facebook app or website.
2. Limit when I check Facebook by visiting only at set times of the day.
3. Limit how often I check Facebook by using a stopwatch to check in at certain intervals.

I think that limiting how often I check Facebook, and perhaps monitoring how long I spend on the site, will work best for my personality.

When I feel bored, I will instead visit Twitter (a much more authentic piece of the web, in my opinion), check my Google Reader feeds (where I have curated for myself interesting information), and news sites. I will remind myself that I am not missing out on “the Facebook party” by not checking in on what is going on, and that I also will not miss anything if I don’t check in for longer than 15 minutes. If I’m being honest with myself, I can admit that I felt that before.

Avoiding Facebook the Drama Queen

This is a tricky one because it depends so heavily on other people, but I have an internal locus of control, and I have been learning over the last few years that you have to put You first sometimes; you cannot live your life by other people’s standards. I think there are two strategies for keeping my inner peace while still using Facebook.

1. Unfriend with abandon. This is my compromise with myself between going right back to where things were and unfriending everyone and starting over.
2. Use Friend Lists to limit whose posts I see. This feature of Facebook is not as integral as Circles are on Google+, but it is there, and I will use it.

I know that some people get offended when someone unfriends them, but I have decided that if someone’s feelings get hurt because I unfriend them, that is their problem not mine. Also, I will use Friend Lists more purposefully so that I see the posts from people who actually post interesting things. I am also going to work on challenging those negative thoughts: What is causing this emotion? Is it valid, or am I just comparing myself to someone else unfairly?

Avoiding Facebook the Big Brother

Facebook itself is part of the problem here, but so are third-party apps. So I am going to

• limit what I tell Facebook about myself by pairing back the personal information on my profile
• avoid Liking every Page I come across
• use only those third-party apps that I trust, like Goodreads, Twitter, or Hootsuite, apps who already have my information on their own site
• check my privacy settings regularly

I’m in the habit of checking my privacy settings already, the necessity of which annoys me, but if I want to feel comfortable with the changes Facebook often makes to the way other people, apps, and brands interact with my personal information, I need to stay on top of it.

I’m going to leave you with a link to an article I found today that made me reconsider coming back to the Facebook Koolaid: Walled-in: Life Without Facebook by Leo Babuta over at zenhabits.

The post How I’ll Maintain Balance After Reactivating My Facebook Account [pt 3 of 3] appeared first on Linden's Pensieve.

Boy Meets Vizsla Puppy

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