Lines From The Vine

For My Mama

admin — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 01:43:33 +0000

Dear Mama,

Tonight, I imagine you dancing at the feet of our Savior.

I know you don’t hurt. I know you aren’t sick. I know you have no worry and no care.

I know you see the beauty and meaning of your life.

I know you rest.

Today, like most every day, I have picked up my phone to talk with you.

My heart breaks each time. I ache in a way that I have not experienced before.

I know that this distance is only for a time, but I miss you so-

Since you’ve been gone, Jackson is standing. He crawls across the floor. He has cut more teeth. He still clings to the little lion you crocheted for him during your last days with us.

Jonathan, lost his very first tooth. He’s looking older. I know you would notice. I know you would be excited with all of us- such a little thing and yet, such a milestone in the life of a little guy.

Benjamin, still cries almost every day. He realizes it will be a long time before you sit with him to play chess again. He knows you won’t be here for his birthday, and he feels sad you won’t be here for mine.

Meredith, shared her loss with her little cousin this past Sunday. I heard her telling him of *that* evening, and all she witnessed. It’s hard for her to understand just how temporal all of this really is- I’m hurting for her, even more than for myself.

As I have busied myself with looking after the details of your life, it’s been a little easier, I think to forget for a moment- but then, as if hit by a wave of emotion- it all returns.

There are days I don’t feel like I can stand.

*I* wanted you for just a little longer.

I want you to know that I know I could have been a better daughter.

I am thankful the Lord blessed me with *you*.

I do look forward to seeing you again one day. I’m thankful that He, the author of life, already sees my hurting heart…I don’t even have to tell Him.

I love you, my dear mama.

I praise my Father, because I know you are with Him.

Tracy

II CORINTHIANS 12:9,10
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest on me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Community Fellowship Reminder- July 9th

admin — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:10:04 +0000

We would love to have you! Message me for details.

…and Matthew’s 14th Birthday

admin — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 03:30:55 +0000

The year Darby was born, we had birthday cake for Matthew at our local hospital. He said she was the best birthday present he had ever received.

This year, we’ve celebrated with dinner out, cake and presents at home….

…of course, his cake had to have braces!

…get it “Yo-Da Man?”…Hahahaha….ahem.

To dear son, Matthew,

This last year has been a pleasure for me. I have watched you grow from boy to man, right before my eyes.

I am seeing you become selfless and responsible.

You continue to be a source of strength and comfort for me.

I love you so very much.

I pray this year is a time of continued growth, health, and that the Lord would continue to show you His path for your life. May He lead your words and your steps. May you seek Him in all things.

I am proud of you, my sweet son.

With love,

Mama

Family Life

admin — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 03:00:10 +0000

A few random pictures from yesterday…so many things are changing in our world. – Time never stops. I know the children are growing. I know I only have one chance to live each day.

I’m thankful for them all….

If you see Paul, please tell him you notice he’s growing some facial hair. He’s giving it his all! It’s so light, not many people notice in person. *smile*My, how they make my heart flutter…I feel So. Incredibly. Blessed.

Darby Turns Two

admin — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 02:41:31 +0000

Can you tell someone had a little cake icing??

It’s OK…we’ve been celebrating birthdays. I’ve had more cake than I care to admit.

Darby liked her cake, too. It didn’t make it from the kitchen before we noticed it was missing a piece….

It’s been a quick two years. It’s hard to imagine her so big- it seems like yesterday she was placed in my arms.

She has the sweetest smile and a contagious laugh.

Miss Darby,

You are a precious gift from God.

I pray the Lord will bless and keep you. I pray He is your God and that your heart is for Him.

I love you, my very dear baby girl.

Happy Birthday!!

With love,

Mama

Mama’s Bathroom

admin — Thu, 06 Jun 2013 13:41:03 +0000

We’ve been working right at a month to prepare mom’s house to sell.

The little things, I think, are what bring me to tears. They just remind me of her so very much. I feel like I could just run my hands across them and almost feel her with me.

I decided to snap some pictures of this bathroom. Mama had hand painted roses around the top of the room and scripture above the light fixture. She had also stenciled roses on the ceiling. You may not have noticed them at first since they were white but it was just a few shades different from the ceiling …delicate and beautiful. The had the most perfect roses hanging above the window with sweet curtains. I had decided to leave them in place because they made me smile when I walked down her hall as I’ve worked in her home.

It’s a long story, but they aren’t there now. Of course, neither is she. I find myself wishing I could go back to January when life felt so normal. It’s selfish, I know. This timing would plant my mom right in the middle of her own horrible pain. I know she doesn’t hurt now.

Some days, I feel like I can’t breathe for the grief that I’m feeling. There is this huge gaping hole now that just lingers.

I miss her so much I hurt.

No related posts.

Visiting Jacob

admin — Wed, 05 Jun 2013 13:31:54 +0000

Paul and I dropped by earlier this week for lunch with Jacob at his new job….

He really like his position and seems to be learning quite a bit.

We enjoyed spending time with him!

Community Fellowship Reminder- June 11th

admin — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 15:09:34 +0000

We would love to have you! Message me for details.

Pure Joy

admin — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:26:48 +0000

Jackson, 9 months…

(yes, I know he’s got a cookie smooshed on his shoulder…such is life with toddlers! *smile*)

A Favorite Gift

admin — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 13:21:10 +0000

Emma, made this for me this past Mother’s Day.

It was definitely a *favorite* gift. I’m a blessed mama.