Dusk on a Swing

It’s dusk on a summer night. I’m sitting outside on the porch swing with Jeff, my husband. We’re watching the birds at our new bird feeder (sorry squirrels, it’s not for you!), trying to identify bird songs and double-checking our answers with the Merlin Bird ID App.

And then—there they are.

The lightning bugs.

At first we see only one. Then two. Three. Then dozens. Little flickers of light floating across the front lawn.

We sit there quietly, just watching.
Our phones are put away in our pockets.
No glancing at the time.
Just two grownups sharing the kind of moment you don’t plan for, but somehow holds great meaning anyway.

A Memory Jar of Light

We break the silence to reminisce about childhood summers, staying outside to chase lightning bugs (or fireflies, if you prefer).

And memories surface from when our own daughters were young. When the lightning bugs appeared, we’d run into the house to find an empty jelly jar. Punch breathing holes in the lid. Help the girls catch as many bugs as we could (well, technically they’re beetles). Then head inside to a dark room and watch the bugs perform their light show.

It felt like holding wonder in your hands.

And then we’d release them back into the wild later that night. (Hmm, I hope we did. I think we did? I know I would now.)

The Light Still Here

It felt like magic back then.
It feels like magic again tonight.

I don’t know when we stop paying attention to lightning bugs. Maybe somewhere between:

• Rushing to clean the kitchen after dinner
• Dashing to mow the grass before the sun sets
• Hurrying to get from here to there on time

But even when we don’t notice them, they still show up.

And maybe that’s true of more than just lightning bugs.

Notice What Matters

There are lots of tiny, quiet moments of magic around us every day, every night—if we’d only be still long enough to see them.

Things like the crackle of lightning in a summer storm. Flowers perking up after a rain. A neighbor stopping to chat in the driveway.

Moments like these don’t make the daily headlines. They’re not trending topics on social media. They won’t go viral on TikTok.

But they matter just as much—for their beauty, for their amazement, and for how they gently contribute toward human flourishing.

Let This Moment Ripple

So tonight, I’ll let the lightning bugs remind me:

• To watch their flickers a little more closely
• To linger outside a little while longer
• To appreciate life a little more intentionally

The whirl of time will spin again soon enough. But for now, I’ll stay in this moment—just long enough to let it ripple—then gently release it as a memory for tomorrow.

When have you had a quiet moment lately that reminded you to linger a little longer? (And do you call them lightning bugs or fireflies?) Share your thoughts in the comments.

Is It Just Another Monday?

It’s an ordinary Monday afternoon. My daughter Jenna and I are driving home after lunch with a friend. The traffic light turns red. We stop.

As we wait, we notice a boy—maybe 10 years old—riding his bicycle on the sidewalk. Maybe he’s on his way to the store. Or a friend’s house. Or just taking a ride around the block.

Perhaps it’s just an ordinary summer day for him, too.

He approaches the intersection just as the traffic light turns green again. But he doesn’t notice the light.

He leaves the sidewalk and begins pedaling across the road.

At the same moment, a car from a side street also approaches the intersection just as the light changes. The car begins turning right.

That One Split Second

What happens next is so fast—less than one gulp of air—yet it takes all my breath away.

Sometimes it’s in the tiniest of moments that life changes forever. A single incident can ripple on, shattering not just one family, but multiple families, classrooms, communities. And strangers, too, like me.

In that split second of time, Jenna and I sit frozen in our seats. But the boy and the other car do not collide. The driver of the car—in the last possible instant—sees the boy and swerves.

That’s it. Nothing else happens.

Except the boy rides on. The car completes its turn. Jenna and I drive home.

Gratitude for What Doesn’t Happen

Instead of witnessing a tragic accident, hearing broken glass and frantic screams and emergency sirens, we return to the normal sounds of our ordinary Monday afternoon. After our hearts stop pounding. And our adrenaline runs out. And our brains adjust back to the beautiful reality of what is in this moment, instead of what could have been.

No harm done. Nothing altered. No lives changed.

What remains is gratitude. For a child I’ll never know that can laugh with his friends today, return to school in the fall, maybe grow up to be a gray-haired grandfather one day.

All because of what didn’t happen on this ordinary Monday afternoon.

The most ordinary days may be the most extraordinary ones of all.

Have you had a moment when you felt both terrified then thankful, from one breath to the next? Share your thoughts in the comments.

In honor of the Dalai Lama’s 90th birthday on July 5, 2025, here’s a reflection on his timeless message of compassion, responsibility, and spiritual practice from Ethics for the New Millennium—including favorite quotes and lessons from seeing him in person in Birmingham, AL.

A Personal Connection with a Global Leader

On July 6, 2025, the Dalai Lama will celebrate his 90th birthday.

Eleven years ago in 2014, I had the unforgettable experience of seeing him in person in Birmingham, Alabama. He made such a lasting impression on me—not just as a spiritual leader, but as a profoundly humble human being. He was attentive, joyful, and quite playful.

[See “5 things I Learned from the Dalai Lama” here.]

Although he is a Buddhist and I am not, his teachings and example resonate deeply with me. He doesn’t try to convert us to Buddhism; he just wants us to live more kindly and responsibly among each other—universal values that are important to all human beings.

His Message: We Are All Responsible for Each Other

“So while as Dalai Lama I have a special responsibility to Tibetans, and as a monk I have a special responsibility toward further interreligious harmony, as a human being I have a much larger responsibility toward the whole human family—which indeed we all have.”

These words were published over 24 years ago in the Dalai Lama’s book, Ethics for the New Millennium. But the issues are as relevant as ever.

In this era when division seems to dominate, the Dalai Lama’s vision of shared humanity offers a path toward healing—through compassion, humility, and personal responsibility.

The Call: What Will I Do?

The Dalai Lama doesn’t preach perfection or supernatural wisdom. In fact, he speaks plainly about his limitations:

“But I am only an ordinary human being. The best I can do is try to help them by sharing in their suffering.”

That honesty clears the way for each of us to ask:

• How much responsibility am I willing to take for the suffering in the world?
• What kind of commitment am I ready to make to act with compassion?
• How far am I willing to be inconvenienced?

Even small steps matter. The Dalai Lama’s appeal is simple but profound:

“Do what you can, and do it with kindness.”

Practicing Kindness, One Step at a Time

Spiritual practice, according to the Dalai Lama, isn’t about ritual. It’s about how we live and how we treat each other:

“It consists in nothing more than acting out of concern for others.”

Here are some practical ways to live this out:

• Think less about your own worries and more about someone else’s well-being
• Be patient even when anxious
• Serve others with humility, regardless of your job or status
• Resist judging people by appearance or situation
• Practice daily kindness—sincerely and consistently

Easier said than done, I know. But even setting an intention to live more aligned with our values is a step in the right direction.

Quotes to Keep Close

Here are a few more quotes from Ethics for the New Millennium that I am returning to on the eve of the Dalai Lama’s birthday:

“Cowardice arises when we lose all confidence as a result of fear. Patient forbearance means that we remain firm even if we are afraid.”

“It is far more useful to be aware of a single shortcoming in ourselves than it is to be aware of a thousand in somebody else.”

“All human endeavor is potentially great and noble… so long as we carry out our work with good motivation.”

“Try not even to think of yourself as better than the humblest beggar. You will look the same in your grave.”

Final Thoughts

The Dalai Lama’s teachings aren’t just for monks or mystics. They’re for all of us who want to live meaningful lives in the midst of everyday messiness. His 90th birthday is a reminder that while he may be aging, his message of compassionate responsibility continues to be timeless.

“Treat everyone as if they were a close friend… I speak as a human being: one who, like yourself, wishes to be happy and not to suffer.”

So to the Dalai Lama I say, “Happy 90th Birthday, my friend! Thank you for your gifts of wisdom to the world.”

What do you know about the Dalai Lama? Share your thoughts in the comments.

“Books are not only a conversation with another, but also with oneself.”  

I love books that make an impression—not just on my reading list, but on how I think, write, and live. This mix of books stirred deeper reflections as I was reading and afterward, challenging some old assumptions.

If you’re searching for books about AI, happiness without toxic positivity, creative discipline, cultural wake-ups, or simply more joy, you might find one of these books helpful to add to your own stack.

Here are 7 nonfiction books and 1 novel that I’m recommending from my recent reads. 

[See previously recommended books here]

Nonfiction That Changed How I Think

1. Co-Intelligence
Living and Working with AI
by Ethan Mollick

5 stars! This is the book I’ll recommend for those wanting to know more about AI. It’s not too complicated or technical, but is thorough enough to encourage us to think thoughtfully about how we want to use AI in real life and what kind of boundaries we hope will be set around it.

After reading it, I’m both more excited and more scared about our future with AI. Ready or not, AI is here among us already. And expanding more every year. 

2. The Antidote
Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking
by Oliver Burkeman

Toxic positivity is a real turnoff for me. So I appreciate Burkeman writing this book for us questioners. He reminds us that finding happiness is sometimes counterintuitive and includes:

“learning to enjoy uncertainty, embracing insecurity, stopping trying to think positively, becoming familiar with failure, even learning to value death.”

Excellent book!

Burkeman—who also wrote the fantastic book Four Thousand Weeks as well as Meditation for Mortals—is an author I want to hear more and more from. (He has a wonderful newsletter, The Imperfectionist; you can sign up for it here.)

3. Everybody Writes
Your New and Improved Go-To Guide to Creating Ridiculously Good Content
by Ann Handley

This is very much a how-to book on writing. And as the title says, everybody writes. Whether or not you call yourself a writer, you likely write something most days, even if it’s just texts or emails.

But not only is this guide full of helpful information, it’s also organized and displayed attractively (Handley is a fan of white space). It was a joy to read her writings about writing. And incorporate her suggestions into my own words.

4. We Have Never Been Woke
The Cultural Contradictions of a New Elite
by Musa al-Gharbi

Ouch. This book about woke culture pokes holes in some of the ways I’d been thinking about (and practicing) activism. Deeply researched, this book by Al-Gharbi prompts you to think deeper about the typical arguments we use for and against common culture war topics.

“Our sincere commitments to social justice often blind us to the role we play in contributing to social problems.”

Don’t give up on the book, though, if you find it too slow at the beginning. I almost stopped reading after the first chapter because I couldn’t get into it. But then the pace really picked up and I found it fascinating.

5. 1000 Words
A Writer’s Guide to Staying Creative, Focused, and Productive All Year Round
by Jami Attenberg

I did a quick read of this book for writers when I stumbled across the #1000WordsofSummer challenge last month. For 14 days straight, Jami Attenberg encourages you to write 1,000 words a day (about anything!) and report in to the community. I participated and loved it! (She does it yearly so watch for it next year at Jami’s substack.)

The book provides good advice about writing in general, with lots of guest essays from other writers. Attenberg says:

“You don’t know what you have to say until you say it. . . . My mantra for a few years now has been this: Stay in it.”

6. Inciting Joy: Essays
by Ross Gay

My online group is focusing on finding glimmers of joy during June, so our book club selection was this book about joy. This is my first encounter with Ross Gay, a lovely human being who pulled me into his poetic, everyday encounters, even when I initially resisted them.

“What if joy and pain are fundamentally tangled up with one another? Or even more to the point, what if joy is not only entangled with pain, or suffering, or sorrow, but is also what emerges from how we care for each other through those things?”

Each essay is a stand-alone, and some pulled me in more than others. But overall it’s a vulnerable and beautiful collection of words, reminding me that joy can be an act of survival and solidarity.

7. How to Break Up with Your Phone
The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life
by Catherine Price

“I regret that I didn’t spend more time on my phone.”
—No one on their deathbed, ever

If you want to use your phone less often, this is the book you’ll want. It guides you through all things regarding our phone addictions. Price doesn’t berate you, but she does gently nudge you to look at exactly how often you’re picking up your phone throughout the day. And why.

I’ve been loosely working through her 30 day plan. I don’t consider myself a heavy phone user (um, because I’m on my laptop so much instead?), but I was still appalled when I looked at my screen time hours every week. Yikes.

“I am grateful for all that my phone allows me to do. But I’m also aware of all that it does to me and, as a result, I remain constantly on guard.”

Fiction That Moved Me

8. The Last Voyage
by Brian D. McLaren

This novel surprised me. It’s science fiction (not my usual genre), but it’s also thoughtfully spiritual and philosophical. I shouldn’t have been surprised by that since it’s by Brian McLaren, a spiritual leader I’ve been listening to for years.

Set in 2056, the plot is about a small international group making a final trip to Mars to join a few hundred people already there setting up a long-term colony. It’s book 1 of a trilogy.

[Read my full review about The Last Voyage here, “Who Do We Need to Go to Mars?”]

WHAT I’M READING NOW

Two of the books on my current shelf (marked with an *) are from Daniel Pink’s list of 21 books that changed his life. See the list here. 

• Algospeak
  How Social Media Is Transforming the Future of Language
  by Adam Aleksic
• How to Fall in Love with Humanity
  16 Life-Changing Practices for Radical Compassion
  by James ‘Fish’ Gill
• Big Feelings
  How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay
  by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy
• The Sports Gene *
  Inside the Science of Extraordinary Athletic Performance
  by David Epstein 
• Thinking in Bets *
  Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Facts
  by Annie Duke
• Dream State: A Novel
  by Eric Puchner

Final Thoughts

I didn’t plan for these books I read last month to have a theme, but looking back, they all ripple outward from one idea: how we live, create, and connect—especially in uncertain times. 

If you’ve read any of these, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Or recommend a book that’s shaped you this year. Please share in the comments.

Read more:

• Who Do You Trust With Your To-Read List?
  Why I’m following this book list (and maybe you should too)

sharing at these linkups

As June wraps up and we head into the second half of 2025, here’s my latest round of 4 somethings that I have:

1. Loved
2. Learned
3. Went well
4. Let go of

And then I link up with Jenn.

These little check-ins help me reflect and appreciate what’s been happening in my corner of the world this month. I’m also sharing my previous month’s One Second Everyday video . . .

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I loved

• BYE, CABLE!

We finally cut the cord. After years of paying too much for cable TV—and grumbling about it—we pulled the plug at last.

After talking to a few neighbors and doing my research, we landed on Hulu Live. It gives us access to regular TV channels, including the live stuff we care about (like news, sports, and weather), plus Hulu’s on-demand shows and DVR capabilities.

So far, it’s working great—and saving us money, too. Win-win.

 ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I learned

• PEDALING FOR UNITY

The average White American has:

• 91 White friends
• 1 Black friend
• 1 Latino friend
• 1 Asian friend
• 1 mixed race friend
• 1 other race friends
• 3 friends of unknown race

The average Black American has:

• 83 Black friends
• 8 White friends
• 2 Latino friends
• 0 Asian friends
• 3 mixed race friends
• 1 other race friend
• 4 friends of unknown race

That’s something I learned last week when we met the Riders for Race Amity. (I can’t verify the stats; do your own research; count your own friends.)

Until last Friday I’d never heard of the organization.

My husband Jeff and I met the 2025 riders when they stopped at our local public library during their 900+ mile ride from Madison, Wisconsin, to Montgomery, Alabama—on bikes. Ten teenagers (plus chaperones) are traveling the country to promote race amity, community building, and service.

During the program, each student shared why they joined, and then we broke into small groups to talk about our own experiences with racism and interracial friendships. It prompted such meaningful conversations.

On their stops, they also participate in service projects. In our city, they volunteered at Manna House, one of our favorite local food distribution centers. I loved hearing how impactful it was for them to serve there.

The students rode into Montgomery earlier this week, and are visiting all three of the Equal Justice Initiative museums. If you’re ever nearby, go visit yourself.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something that went well

• BIRDS: 100; SQUIRRELS: 0

Squirrel-proofing success—hopefully! We’ve gone through several different bird feeders and contraptions that claimed to be squirrel-resistant, but our squirrels outsmarted each one. And would eat all the food in a few hours.

But not with this bird feeder. Not yet anyway. The birds are loving it, and the seed actually lasts more than a day now.

That said, the ground is still a buffet for the neighborhood rabbits and mallard ducks who hang out to eat the spilled seed throughout the day.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I let go of

• COMPLETION, NOT PERFECTION (IN PRINT!)

Jeff and I finally finished our Storyworth books! In January 2024, our daughter Jenna gifted us a year-long subscription. We were sent weekly email prompts about our lives that we would answer and email back in.

After completing all 52 prompts by January of this year, we’ve spent the first part of 2025 editing and adding extra photos. But we eventually called it DONE and sent them off.

Letting go of perfection was the hardest part about the project for me—I kept wanting to tweak just one more thing, make one more edit, add one more photo. But the finished books are beautiful and meaningful, and now we have a lasting keepsake of our stories. Sometimes done is better than perfect. 

What is something you are loving, learning, has gone well, or had to let go of this month?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

We’re halfway through 2025—can you believe it? That makes now the perfect time to pause and reflect on your One Word for our June challenge!

Below is our June linkup for your One Word posts. Scroll down to link a blog post about your word or to share a comment about it.

Is your word still working for you?

• If yes—wonderful! Keep reading for some fresh ideas to keep it alive.
• If no—no shame in changing it. Seriously. This practice is about you. Give yourself permission to pivot.

You’re not alone if you feel the need to switch gears. Here’s a great read from Gretchen Rubin. It’s about resolutions, not One Word choices, but it applies just the same:

3 Reasons to Give Up Your Resolution

Your June One Word Challenge

Here is this month’s challenge, whether you’re starting over with a new word or pushing through with the same one. Choose one or all three practices for a mid-year reset:

1. MORNING WORD RITUAL

For a few weeks each morning, try journaling, voice-noting, or just asking yourself:

“How can I embody my word today?” or “Where did I see my word show up yesterday?”

I’ve been keeping a daily bullet list lately of my One Word Ripple.

Here are a few notes I’ve jotted down:

• Pressed my package close to my heart before mailing it, hoping my love ripples onto the receivers when they open it
• Amazed at Sonnie Hereford telling how he was the first Black child to integrate Alabama public schools in 1963—many ripples followed
• Scrubbed the bathroom thoroughly so Jeff’s virus wouldn’t ripple into me (it didn’t—whew!)
• Enjoyed the older men of Rusty Strings sing and play songs from our youth on 3rd Thursday—the memories ripple on
• Watched my grandson’s gymnastic class like I once watched his mom’s—a living ripple

2. LENS CHECK-IN

Set a calendar reminder once a week for a month to answer this question:

“How might I approach this decision/problem/mood differently if I applied my word?”

Use your word as a filter.

I asked myself this question last week: How can I better choose between the activities ahead of me this week, using Ripple as a filter? 

It was helpful. Here’s my answer:

When choosing how to spend the next few days, I want to say yes to activities that will strengthen connections—with others or with myself. Even small choices can shape what’s ahead, so I want to choose activities that ground me in presence, care, and meaning. I’ve noticed those moments ripple the farthest.

3. WHISPER NOTES

Leave sticky notes or phone wallpapers with simple reminders using your word in a sentence:

For example: “I choose GRACE before urgency today” or “Let COURAGE speak louder.”

Here are a few sticky notes I put around my house about Ripple:

If you blog, share a post below with YOUR answers. The One Word linkup is open today through midnight on Wednesday, July 9.

You can also share updates with our One Word group on Facebook.

Let this mid-year moment refresh your One Word journey—whether you’re continuing strong or beginning again. 

I’m cheering you on!

Are you still using your One Word? Would you like to change it?

Share your thoughts here.

Looking ahead: Our July linkup opens on Friday, July 25. Plan to join us with an update about your One Word.

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, join here any time of the year.

• Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word

“But the nun also told her that the dark night of the soul was the tomb for the old you, and it was the womb for the new you. That’s what made Mama happy.”

Why I Read a Sci-Fi Book (and Why You Might Too)

Let me just say: I don’t typically read science fiction novels. But when I saw Brian McLaren was writing this one, I caved. I’ve trusted his voice for years in the non-fiction genre as a spiritual leader and as a wise, decent human being. So I decided to get curious about this fiction series.

The Last Voyage (Book 1 in a planned trilogy) is a smart and emotional story about humanity’s final chance to get it right somewhere else, after messing up on Earth. It deals with questions like “How do we start over?” and “What kind of people do we need to be to make it work?”

What It’s About

It’s 2056. Earth is falling apart—ecologically, politically, spiritually. A set of billionaire philanthropists have built a spaceship and handpicked a diverse team of thinkers, scientists, and a spiritual guide to establish a long-term colony on Mars. Their mission: build something better, before it’s too late.

But this book isn’t about space wars or aliens. It’s about human nature, values, conflict, and hope. And it’s not just one character’s story—if you poke deep, you’ll see it’s a story about each of us, as a species, trying to improve.

Some of the characters you’ll meet:

• Colfax, the arrogant ecologist who struggles with alcohol and loneliness
• Thurman, the billionaire in charge of the Macopro project, and the great-grandson of 20th century civil rights leader Howard Thurman
• Eve, an American theologian-ethicist grappling with spiritual needs and the relationship with her father, Colfax
• Refa, a Palestinian poet-musician, the youngest space team member, who brings beauty and pain
• Gabriela, a Guatemalan geneticist with corny jokes and a desire to heal the planet

But in an interview about the book, McLaren says the real protagonist isn’t any particular character. Rather it’s a set of human traits—love, trust, wisdom, accountability—that bind these people together.

Why I Recommend It

1. It asks the big questions

The story is fiction, but the themes are very real:

• What do we take with us when we try to start over?
• How can we prevent systems from causing harm?
• Is there such a thing as moral purity?
• How can we prioritize human thriving instead of power and money?

2. It makes beautiful statements

Here are a few quotes by the characters that I highlighted:

• “It’s worth saving what we can, isn’t it, Colfax? What we love, we see value in, and what we value, we protect and save.”
• “So much of our brains evolved to keep us alert to danger. Danger is real, of course, but fear . . . fear easily becomes our greatest danger.”
• “None of us are as rational as we wish we were.”
• “Maybe faith and hope are overrated. Maybe what you need to do is fall back on love.”
• “It’s the logos of plants to grow toward the light. I trust, on the days when I can, that we’ll all, eventually, grow toward the light.”

3. It’s timely—and timeless

It deals with climate change, authoritarianism, white nationalism, political collapse—but also with grief, community, meaning, and inner transformation. It reminded me that the most important revolutions have to start inside and work their way outward.

4. It feels personal

Because I’ve read many of McLaren’s books through the years—and have heard him speak on numerous occasions the past three or four years—I smiled when I caught glimpses of McLaren’s personality in the text: his love of birds and nature and their demise due to climate change; his extensive knowledge of philosophy, politics, and religion; and even his named car in the book, the McLaren (which “makes Thurman’s Tesla look pedestrian”).

Final Thoughts

The only thing I didn’t like was that the book ends with a cliffhanger. Some people love an uncertain ending. I understand that with nonfiction. But I prefer my novels to give me closure. However, the open ending does make me look forward to Book Two.

With The Last Voyage, Brian McLaren didn’t just write a sci-fi novel. He wrote a moral invitation. If like me, you’re a bit overwhelmed by the current problems on Earth, this book won’t give you easy answers. But it does offer some excellent questions.

And it might just remind you that we are not as powerless as we might think. That we can grow toward the light. That love, even in the face of doom, is worth choosing. [See McLaren’s 2024 nonfiction book, Life After Doom: Wisdom and Courage for a World Falling Apart; I highly recommend it!]

I don’t think I’m a good candidate for Mars. I lack an adventurous spirit and my remaining years are too numbered. But I did enjoy thinking about it. Even if you’re not a sci-fi reader either, I recommend you give The Last Voyage a try. It’s thoughtful, emotional, and calls on the best parts of what makes us human.

The Last Voyage will be published July 29; you can pre-order it now. Read more in this short interview with Brian McLaren.

Would you be willing to start over on Mars? Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for the
review copy of The Last Voyage

“A good book is an event in my life.”
― Stendhal

To Read or Not to Read

Let’s say you just got a book recommendation. How do you decide whether or not to take it?

Sometimes you question the book. Here are a few questions I ask myself.

• Does this topic interest me?
• How many pages is it?
• Do I have time and the mental bandwidth for it right now?
• Could it help me with something?
• Would it be entertaining?
• Does my library have it? 

Other times, you question the recommender.

• Are they a reader themselves?
• Do we have the same taste?
• Can I trust their values or expertise on this subject?
• How well do they know me?
• Have they recommended books in the past that I’ve liked?

So last week I saw a list recommending 21 books. That’s too many. I almost didn’t even look at it.

Until I saw who it was from: Daniel Pink.

And why he recommended these books: they changed his life.

Daniel Pink is one of my trusted guides. Through the years, I’ve read many books at his suggestion, and never regretted any of them. He is also an author himself of seven New York Times best sellers (I’ve read five and I highly recommend them).

• A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future. Copyright 2005. One of my top 10 books I read in 2013
• Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. Copyright 2009.
• To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others. Copyright 2012. One of my top 5 social sciences book I read in 2015
• When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing. Copyright 2018. One of my top 10 books I read in 2018
• The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. Copyright 2022. One of 5 books that changed me in 2022

So I made a decision: look at his list and watch his video.

A Little Headstart

Of the 21 books in this list that changed his life, I’d already read 9 of them. I wonder if some were because of his recommendation?

This gives me a lot of confidence in the remaining 12 books, which I now plan to read over the next 12 months, aiming for 1 book per month, along with other books I’ll also be reading.

His list of books is good enough for me to pass along to you, too—especially my fellow book lovers— for your own journey of learning, growing, and maybe even reshaping the way we see the world.

Some of the books are recent. Some are decades old, but they’ve aged well. Reading them now—wherever you are—will still feel relevant.

I created my own pdf to check off the 21 books (well, I politely asked AI to set it up for me, and it did, of course, then I tweaked it). You can download the pdf at the bottom of this post if you’d like your own checklist, too.

Why You Should Watch the Video (Even If You Don’t Read the Books)

However, maybe you’re not a big reader. The list has zero appeal to you.

Nonetheless, I encourage you to watch his video anyway. Put it on double speed if you don’t have 18 minutes.

Why? Because Pink doesn’t just name-drop titles here. He explains why each book matters, how it shifted his thinking, and what kind of ripple effect it had on his life and work.

So even if you never pick up a single book from the list, you’ll pick up insights and aha moments just from the video itself.

The List

Here are 9 books from the list I’ve already read, so I can join Pink in highly recommending each of these myself.

1. Grit by Angela Duckworth, 2016. Read 2017.
3. Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, 1990. Read ???.
4. The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, 2002. Read 2014.
5. The Stoic Challenge by William Irvine, 2019. Read 2020.
14. The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt, 2012. Read 2017.
17. Scarcity by by Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir, 2013. Read 2021.
18. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamont, 1994. Read 2008.
20. Moneyball by Michael Lewis, 2003. Read 2007.
21. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, 1946. Read 2006.

And here are the 12 books I plan to read over the next year. Some are on my to-read list already. I’m starting this month with The Sports Gene since my library has it available both as an ebook and hardcopy.

2. Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke, 2018.
6. The Sports Gene by David Epstein, 2013.
7. Biased by Jennifer Eberhardt, 2019.
8. Give and Take by Adam Grant, 2013.
9. The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker, 2018.
10. Unfair by Adam Benforado, 2015.
11. Influence by Robert Cialdini, 2013.
12. Rule Makers, Rule Breakers by Michele Gelfand, 2018.
13. The Genetic Lottery by Kathryn Paige Harden, 2021.
15. Uncivil Agreement by Lilliana Mason, 2018.
16. Mindset by Carol Dweck, 2006, 2016.
19. Nonzero by Robert Wright, 1999.

I’ll share reflections along the way—maybe a quote, a new thought, or if anything creates a mindset shift in me—because that’s what these kind of books do. They nudge us to become more aware of ourselves and our world, and then hopefully make the world just a little better.

Daniel Pink ends his video by saying,

“When we read books like these we change our minds, and when we change our minds we change the world.”

I couldn’t agree more.

How do you decide about book recommendations? Have you read any on Pink’s list? Which would you most like to read? If you read one, let me know and we’ll talk about it together.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Want the full list of all 21 books? I created a printable for you here, “21 Books Recommended by Daniel Pink.”

The Sting

Every morning I walk around the house and open my blinds. I love light. I love seeing the trees and the birds and the lake outside my windows.

And every evening, I reverse the ritual—walking from room to room, closing the same blinds.

But on this night, as I reach in to close the blinds in the dining room:

OUCH!!!

I immediately jerk my hand back, surprised and hurting. A spider? A sharp object? What just happened?

I look at the bright red spot on my now on-fire hand. Then I gingerly pull back the curtain to look at the blinds.

That’s when I see it.

It’s a wasp. It’s still sitting on the inside edge of the curtain, exactly where my hand had been just seconds before.

The sting hurts for awhile (but not bad enough to prevent me from killing the wasp with a wad of paper towels). Eventually I get over it.

But I don’t forget about it.

The Memory Returns

Even now, months later, when I reach in to close the blinds at night, I remember the wasp. I check the curtain’s edge. I’m aware that if a wasp was there once, it might be there again.

It hasn’t returned.

But the memory has. The memory of the sting returns again and again.

Some things only take once.

When Words Leave a Mark

A wasp’s sting fades. But a stinging word? Sometimes those memories leave an even more lasting mark.

If someone said something to you that pierced straight through your heart, you may resolve it, forgive it, and move on.

But still—you may remember.

The tone. The timing. The unexpected pain. The way it made you question yourself, the other person, or the relationship.

And like reaching toward that curtain again, you may hesitate before opening up the next time.

Words That Sting — and Linger

Ask yourself:

• When’s the last time someone’s words truly stung you?
• What was said?
• Why do you still remember it?

If someone’s words left you hurting, remember: pain is information, not weakness. You’re allowed to remember—and you don’t have to pretend it didn’t hurt.

But you can begin to separate the memory from the fear. You can learn to reach for the blinds again.

Now also ask:

• When’s the last time you said something in frustration to someone else?
• Did it land on them like a sting?
• Were you aware that you did it?

It happens to all of us. Whether we’re speaking to friends, kids, coworkers, strangers online, or even to ourselves . . .

Words matter.

They can wound. Or they can heal. They can shut someone down. Or open someone up.

We aren’t always mindful when we speak. But we can repair. And perhaps create a new memory in the same space.

Reopen the Blinds

The blinds still need opening every morning. The light still needs to come in. May we not let memories of old stings keep us from what brings us joy. I want the blinds open so I can enjoy looking out my window, even as I’m mindful of where I reach.

May we be generous in giving words of kindness so we don’t leave bad memories with others. Speak words of healing and not harming, words that bring light and not darkness.

Because even a single sting can leave a lasting memory.

When’s the last time you’ve been stung by an insect? By a word? Which hurt worse?

Share in the comments.

revised from the archives

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Guilt in a Box

It’s night at the beach condo we’ve rented for the week. We’ve already washed off the sand, gone out to dinner, and locked the doors for the evening.

Now I sit at the kitchen table and look at the box in front of me.

A small war is waging inside me.

• Shouldn’t I be rinsing out swimsuits or sweeping sand off the floor?
• Shouldn’t I prep snacks for tomorrow before I allow myself more play?
• Shouldn’t everything we do on vacation be together?

But instead, I open the puzzle box. Instead of finding one bag of pieces, I find two ziplock bags.

Now I’m curious.

The Overtime Work Ethic

I have two guilt tracks that play often in my head.

1. No play until your work is done

I grew up with the ethic of work first, play last.

The problem is that you never finish all the work. There is always more work. So when do you get to play? When can you indulge yourself in something as frivolous as working a jigsaw puzzle?

2. Fun is meant to be together

I love spending time with my husband Jeff. When we’re on vacation, we do almost everything together, by choice.

But he hates doing puzzles. Would working the puzzle alone be selfish of me?

Whose Vacation Is It?

I’d been eyeing the box for a few days, ever since we’d seen the stack of games with this puzzle in the condo closet.

The first night here we’d borrowed Scrabble: National Parks Edition (good timing since we went to three National Parks in California in April!).

The second night we played Bananagrams that I’d brought from home.

But this third night, no box is as tempting as this puzzle. I finally bring it up.

Jeff laughs. “Of course you should do the puzzle! It’s your vacation, too.” (Reader, when you find a friend like this, treasure them.)

So here I sit. With two bags from the box. One is more full than the other. I open the smaller bag first.

To my delight, it contains all the edge pieces of the puzzle. The most tedious step of doing a puzzle for me is picking out the edge pieces to create the border—the “work before play” part. And here this work has already been done for me. I can go straight to play.

Then it hits me: I know someone who does this. Someone who, when they finish a puzzle, puts the pieces back into two bags, one for just the edge pieces.

A Ripple Reaches Me

I click a picture of the puzzle with my phone. I text it to my father-in-law two states away.

He responds back immediately, confirming that indeed, it was he and my mother-in-law who did this, months ago, at their most recent stay here in this same condo. They had worked the puzzle first, then afterwards packaged it back up into two bags, hoping to help the next person who opened it.

The next person was me.

My in-laws had no idea who would discover this unexpected ripple of joy. Yet months later, I was the one it reached, landing directly in my lap, literally.

The ripple was a beautiful reminder to me that:

• Fun doesn’t have to be earned
• Your to-do list can be put aside (especially on vacation, good grief!) to make room for play
• Be grateful for joy that ripples to you without you chasing it down or even expecting it

A few days later, I finish the puzzle. But this time, instead of crumbling all the pieces into a heap and throwing them into the bag, I do it differently.

I peel apart the edge pieces first. I seal them carefully in their own bag. I put both bags back into the box.

May the ripple flow on.

Have you ever felt you had to earn your fun? What small ripples of joy have you received lately? Share in the comments.

More RIPPLES Here:

• What If Your Body Has Been Doing Her Best All Along?
  A simple Zoom assignment led me to an unexpected realization—my body, although imperfect, has always been the best place for me to be.
• Why I Chose These 7 Objects for My One Word Jar
  These 7 objects embody the meaning of Ripple to me, each carrying its own story and connection to my life. What objects represent your One Word of the Year?
• Do You Write In Your Calendar With Ink or Pencil?
  Even a cancelled haircut can disrupt your day. Stay open to the ripples. Write your calendar in pencil, not ink.