1. The Smell

Unless the disaster that will end our world is a huge solar flare that will give new meaning to the phrase “scorched earth”, there will be hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions of survivors all over the world. On the other side of the coin will be BILLIONS of dead and rotting bodies, both animal and human. And if zombies are walking the planet, the smell would be exponentially worse. Not even industrial strength Lysol would suffice to wipe the stink away for eons to come.

2. Food and Water Shortages

Comets, asteroids, nuclear weapons, an alien invasion, the shifting of the Earth’s crust or a deluge worthy of Noah are all cataclysms that involve massive destruction of property, infrastructure, and food and water supplies. No sense surviving the initial impact only to die, extremely painfully at that, of starvation and dehydration a short time later.
A zombie apocalypse, on the other hand, tends to keep malls and grocery shops intact even as billions of people become the walking dead or end up as food for the walking dead. That means lots of canned goods and other processed foods for survivors who are lucky or smart enough to hole up in a shopping mall or a supermarket. That, however, leads directly to…

3. Dying of a heart attack or stroke from eating canned goods regularly

Canned goods are a good source of sodium, but sodium, when taken in excess, increases blood pressure and puts anyone at risk for a heart attack or a stroke. And eating canned goods three times daily for their typical two-year duration surely qualifies as taking in excessive sodium, don’t you think?

4. Being made a sex slave by marauding gangs

We all know the cliché about bad situations bringing out the worst in people. The problem is, this is one cliché that has proven to be true throughout history. And an apocalypse will be worse, as all bets would be off then. Forget law and order; it’s human decency that would be flushed down the toilet should the apocalypse come. Murder and rape would become a part of everyday life, because, let’s face it, there really are people in this world who get off on that sort of thing. Imagine those people coming together to form a gang and roaming around hunting for survivors. No one would want to end up like those women in Stephen King’s The Stand where the bad guys run a length of barbed wire across their vajayjays just for kicks.

5. No Electricity

No more TV, computers, video games, A/C, movies and ice cold beer. Again, power plants would probably still be operational after a zombie or virus apocalypse, but who will be left to run them? We’ll have a meltdown faster than you can say “tsunami”.

6. No More Sports

The NFL, MLB, NHl and the NBA will be gone, and so will be the cheerleaders who, for a lot of people, are the only reason they watch games live in the first place. No more LeBron James to hate, and no more Maria Sharapova upskirts. Taking its place will be death matches where food or other supplies are offered up as prizes. Now that would be a neat idea, if only it would have TV coverage, but electricity would be a thing of the past by then, so no dice.

7. No More Porn

‘Nuff said.

8. No Internet

Facebook, Google+, YouTube and gossip blogs will all be but a memory. If anyone out there’s actually having an end-of-the world bash at any predicted Ground Zero sites, count me in for front row tickets.

9. Not Knowing Who “The Mother” is In How I Met Your Mother

If the apocalypse pushes through on December 21, 2012 as that ancient calendar and millions of other doomsayers predicted, then How I Met Your Mother will have just started its projected eighth and final season by then, and the identity of the mother will not have been revealed just yet, before the world as we know it ends. Unless Neil Patrick Harris survives and you bump into him leading one of those marauding gangs mentioned above or something.

10. No More Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black…

…On second thought, THIS might be a good enough reason to try to survive an apocalypse after all!

There are just too many things wrong with Transformers: Dark of the Moon that they can actually be desensitizing, especially when the entire Internet is filled with nothing but loathing for it. So, for the sake of positivity, which my shrink says I need loads of, I’m listing the things that I actually DID LIKE about the movie, terrible filmmaking notwithstanding.

For those fortunate enough not to have seen the latest (and thankfully, THE LAST) Transformers movie yet but are still planning to go, some SPOILERS AHEAD.

1. Alan Tudyk

Sci-fi TV and Joss Whedon fave Tudyk plays John Turturro’s effete assistant Dutch, who for the briefest of moments channels his character Alpha from the now-cancelled series Dollhouse and transforms into a badass.

2. People are actually getting offed onscreen

Sure, there were some deaths in the first two movies, but this is actually the first time you see people actually bite it, when they get vaporized instantly a la War of the Worlds as Decepticons hit them with direct fire.

3. Rosie Huntington-Whitely

A supermodel with the acting talent of the runway she regularly sashays on, she is, for me, actually hotter than Megan Fox. Kinda reminds me of a young Cameron Diaz in The Mask.

4. The special effects. Duh.

5. Ken Jeong

Whether he’s playing a medieval live action RPG king or a naked Chinese gangster locked in a car trunk, Jeong will always be a hoot, even when his few minutes in this movie ended when he was shoved by a Decepticon through an office window and onto the pavement a few hundred or so feet below.

6. Patrick Dempsey as a bad guy

And a really bad bad guy at that, because McDreamy’s selling everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, out to the Decepticons.

7. That random wind-blown newspaper that smacked Patrick Dempsey right in the face as he was monologuing.

8. The chance for a nap

This movie was extremely DULL in certain stretches that I actually found myself catching much-needed zzzs inside the theater.

How about you? Got anything nice to say about DOTM?

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Almost every single pro sports team has its own group of cheerleaders. Over the years, a number of its members have gone on to become famous. Some of the ten listed below have become familiar faces, while some are outright household names.

1. Paula Abdul

She is without doubt the most successful former professional sports cheerleader of all time. Before she sold more than 50 million albums despite being not much of a singer, and sat as the mumbling and perpetually drunk/stoned judge of American Idol for eight seasons, she was a Laker Girl, and was even its head choreographer for years.

2. Teri Hatcher

If you’ve wondering where Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher got those moves she does in Tango and Cash, here’s your answer: She was a member of the San Francisco 49ers cheering squad. Before that, she shook her pom-poms for her high school, and was even named most likely to become a Solid Gold Dancer. She didn’t of course, but instead became a solid gold TV star.

3. Sarah Shahi

Amid a disappointing season, Sarah Shahi gave Dallas Cowboys fans something to cheer about. From 1999-2000, she was a member of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, arguably the best known of all NFL cheerleading squads. She appeared on the cover of the DCC’s calendar before moving to Hollywood, where she eventually became one of the most beautiful faces on television today. She starred in the now-defunct NBC drama series Life, and is currently playing the lead in Fairly Legal, a legal drama airing on the USA Network.

4. Charisma Carpenter

Before she made jaws drop as Sunnydale High’s resident shallow cheerleader Cordelia Chase in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charisma Carpenter was a cheerleader for the San Diego Chargers in 1991, just before she moved to Los Angeles to embark on a Hollywood career.

5. Trista Sutter

Trista Sutter holds some sort of record in the history of reality TV for starring in the first seasons of both The Bachelor and its companion show, The Bachelorette. Known as Trista Rehn then, she was one of the final two contestants of the former, while she was chosen as the star of the latter. In both shows, it was very apparent that she had one hot body, obviously honed by her stint as a Miami Heat Dancer. Her televised wedding to The Bachelorette winner Ryan Sutter drew more than 26 million viewers, one of the biggest audiences for a reality TV show.

6. Stacy Keibler

Pro wrestling fans have long worshipped Stacy Keibler for her unusually long legs. Pro football fans from Baltimore, however, have had first crack at those lovely gams as she pepped them up as a member of the Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders.

7. Kiana Tom

Former Oakland Raiderette Kiana Tom became famous for her ESPN fitness series, Kiana’s Flex Appeal. She continued to build on her reputation as a fitness guru by starring in other ESPN produced shows Kiana’s Too Fit 2 Quit, Summer Sizzle with Kiana & Hot Summer Nights with Kiana. She is also an actress, starring alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme in Universal Soldier: The Return.

8. Kristin Adams

Yet another Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader makes this list in the person of Kristin Adams née Holt. Her first shot at fame was in the first season of American Idol, where she was a semi-finalist. She later became a correspondent for the show, a job which would prove to be quite useful in her future endeavors. She blossomed into a good host, and G4 TV wasted no time in hiring her as host of Cheat!, a show where video game cheats and strategies are featured and discussed. She also currently co-hosts the USA Network show Character Fantasy.

9. Lisa Guerrero

Back when Los Angeles had two professional football teams, Lisa Guerrero was a cheerleader for the LA Rams, before the franchise moved to St. Louis. Currently one of the top sportscasters in the United States, she is most famous for her stint on The Best Damn Sports Show Period on Fox Sports. She’s also an actress, appearing in movies such as Batman Returns and Fire Down Below.

10. Bonnie-Jill Laflin

Bonnie-Jill Laflin was a cheerleader not just for one team of one sport, but for three different teams of two different sports. Before she became the NBA’s hottest, first ever and only female scout working for the Los Angeles Lakers front office, she was a cheerleader for the Golden State Warriors, the San Francisco 49ersand the Dallas Cowboys. Aside from currently holding a top position in one of professional sports’ most legendary franchises, she is also an actress, model and soon-to-be reality star, with a reality show based on her successful career in the male-dominated world of professional sports.

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P.S: These are my favorite Ryan Dunn moments. If you feel like I missed a stunt or posted lame ones here, go say so in the comments or make your own list.

10. Super Mighty Glue

The most disturbing and hysterical use of super glue, ever.

9. BMX Tug-of War

Ryan Dunn crashing his bicycle onto cacti.

8. Jet Engine

An excellent recreation of that classic Maxell tape commercial, complete with hair, shades, couch plus jet engine.

7. Ass Kicked By Girl

Dunn gets beat up by a girl. Well, a muscular, well trained, and champion kickboxer girl, but a girl nonetheless.

6. Stilt Boxing

Sorry for the video quality. It’s the only video of this insane boxing match between Dunn and Steve-O that I could find.

5. The Rocket Cart

My favorite stunt from Jackass 2.

4. Ryan Dunn Downs An Entire Bottle of Tequila

Yet another sign of things to come for Dunn.

3. Ryan Dunn crashes golf cart

Never has that comment about Dunn’s driving sounded more ominous.

2. Poo Dive

The Jackass crew has done a lot of disgusting stuff over the years, but “Poo Dive”, Dunn’s first ever stunt for the series, is the shit, quite literally. Wearing only white briefs, flippers and a snorkel he dove into a sewage tank, effectively setting the bar high when it comes vomit-inducing Jackass antics.

1. Butt X-ray

In the, er, annals of Jackassery, this is Ryan Dunn’s defining moment, the one he will forever be remembered for. His ticket to immortality.

But I still believe James will get his rings. At 26, he still has a dozen or so years’ worth of shots at the Larry O’Brien trophy. However, James needs more than just pure talent to win. He needs all the positive vibes he can get, and he won’t be getting any of that anytime soon, what with more than half the world wanting him to lose. Whether LeBron admits it or not, his performance has been affected by all the hate, that he actually wants to be liked. Here are some of the things he can do to actually get there.

1. Apologize for “The Decision”

This is where all of LeBron’s major troubles actually started. While people completely understand it was within his right to play for any team he chooses, dumping an entire city that worshipped him for seven years in such a tasteless and self-serving manner, on a live TV special no less, made everyone, even those who didn’t really care much about basketball, hate him.

An admission that the entire thing was a mistake and a sincere apology to Cleveland, the NBA and its fans will go a long way in restoring people’s respect and faith in him. And please, spare us the “It’s for the kids” excuse.

2. Fire Maverick Carter

“The Decision” wasn’t his idea, but it was Carter who gave his biggest client the go-signal to proceed with one of the biggest PR disasters in sports history. Since then, James’ agent has done nothing but orchestrate for James one boneheaded move after another, from coaching him to play the race card with regards to the negative response “The Decision” got, to commercials that seem to spit in Cleveland’s face. For an agent who’s supposed to be moving heaven and earth for his number one client, Carter is surely not doing his childhood friend any favors in the PR department.

3. Take Head Out of Sphincter, Then Speak

Recent case in point: his post-Finals presscon where he practically told everyone who didn’t root for him that their lives will still suck the following morning, and he’d still be living the life of a multi-millionaire sports superstar. He probably didn’t mean for his words to be interpreted that way, but athletes of James’ talents and stature need to learn to be more tactful. Whether he likes it or not, James’ words will always be overanalyzed, which is why he really needs to be schooled in the subtle art of talking to the media.

4. Stop flopping. If not possible, at least make sure there’s a bit of contact before falling down

LeBron didn’t invent flopping, but he’s one of the best at selling them. Think of the flops he did against 2011 MVP Derrick Rose in the Eastern Conference Finals and Brendan Haywood in the NBA Finals. There was practically no contact in both cases, yet he acted like he was hit by a freight train every single time, and got the whistle. The problem is, his Oscar-winning flops are not winning him more fans, just more haters. He also pissed Jeff Van Gundy off, who was right to rant about the Haywood flop, especially when it’s coming from a player as gifted as James.

5. Grow Up

Before Game 5 of the NBA Finals, Wade and James hammed it up for the TV cameras by imitating Dirk Nowitzki’s coughing throughout the previous game, with the latter covering his mouth with his shirt, just like the eventual Finals MVP did during the post Game 4 press conference. Apparently, the fact that they’re a decade removed from high school slipped their minds. This, plus many other childish shenanigans in the past, has solidified LeBron’s reputation as a spoiled and immature brat. It’s time for LeBron to grow up fast and be the role model that he’s supposed to be.

6. Shelve the WWE-Worthy Antics

The chalk toss. That entrance on a forklift for his welcome party almost a year ago. All that dancing and preening on court during a game. Talking about himself in the third person. It’s the NBA dammit, not the WWE. Some find these antics cute, but most find them extremely annoying.

7. Enough Whining

For someone who earns more than $48 million a year, LeBron sure whines a lot. From the rough play in the NBA to his playing minutes, James has been acting like a baby about all of it. He should just shut up and play basketball, a sport that he’s supposed to be the best at.

8. Go to a tattoo removal clinic and obliterate that “CHOSEN1” tattoo

Who chose him for what anyway? That tattoo, along with that ridiculous royal title he’s been lugging around since God-knows-when, is a lightning rod of criticism and ridicule. It never is a good idea to brag about something without backing it up. Sure, he has won two MVPs, but individual accolades pale in comparison to an NBA title, which is kinda the point of the whole thing, isn’t it?

9. Actually Lead The Miami Heat To An NBA title

If he wants to be spared the pain of tattoo removal, then he must lead the Heat to a championship in the next few years or so. Emphasis on LEAD, because anything less than that, like playing second fiddle to Dwayne Wade doesn’t really count, not with his otherworldly skills. Unless he wants “CHOSEN1” to be interpreted as “Wade’s chosen bitch”.

10. And if he can’t win one, ever, at least show the world that he did everything within his immense power to win, and that he never quit.

This is how many NBA greats who never won a championship did it. So there’s no shame in belonging to that esteemed albeit unfortunate list.

Like so many before them, these child actors from the 1990s shed their clothes and even did some nasty onscreen stuff to obliterate whatever memory people had of them as cute little children. And boy, did that work.

10. Lindsay Lohan

First known for: Playing twins in 1998′s The Parent Trap, made when she was 11.

Gone naked in: New York Magazine in 2008, not to mention countless lip and nip slips.

9. Leelee Sobieski

First known for: Being a skinny 15-year old in Jungle2Jungle, a 1997 Hollywood remake of a French film.

Gone naked in: the 2001 TV movie Uprising, and later in 2002′s L’Idole (The Idol).

8. Lacey Chabert

First known for: The Fox drama series Party of Five, where she played 11-year child prodigy Claudia Salinger

Gone naked in: 2002′s The Scoundrel’s Wife

7. Natalie Portman

First known for: playing a 12-year-old girl whose entire family gets murdered in Leon (The Professional).

Gone naked in: more like showcased her bare ass in Hotel Chevalier, from 2007.

6. Kirsten Dunst

First known for: her portrayal of a vicious vampire trapped in a 10-year-old’s body in Interview With the Vampire.

Gone naked in: Last year’s All Good Things.

5. Christina Ricci

First known for: playing Wednesday Addams to creepy perfection in two Addams Family films in the 1990s.

Gone naked in: 2001′s Prozac Nation, and even more so in Black Snake Moan from 2006.

4.Thora Birch

First known for: Playing the 10-year-old daughter of Jack Ryan, Harrison Ford’s character, in Patriot Games

Gone naked in: American Beauty, although she was still underage when she did it.

3. Madeline Zima

First known for: being the youngest of the Sheffield siblings in Fran Drescher’s 90s sitcom The Nanny.

Gone naked in: The Showtime comedy series Californication, where she f**ked and punched David Duchovny as an underage teenager.

2. Anna Paquin

First known for: Winning an Oscar at the age of 11 for her performance as the precocious daughter of Holly Hunter’s mute character in 1993′s The Piano.

Gone naked in: HBO’s vampire drama series True Blood. Multiple times. In really sexy sex scenes.

1. Shawna Waldron

First known for: playing “Icebox”, the 12-year-old tomboy daughter of Rick Moranis’ character in the 1994 family movie Little Giants. Also played the First Daughter in The American President opposite Michael Douglas.

Gone naked in: The straight to DVD sequel Poison Ivy: The Secret Society.

Why she’s no. 1: Because unlike the other girls on this list, her naked performance got the closest to being soft porn. Wait. It IS soft porn!

Here are ten white dudes who picked up where Chuck Norris left off.

1. Ray Park

At the age of 16, Ray Park was already a martial arts champion, and continued winning tournaments around the world as he grew older. He later did stunt work for films like Mortal Kombat. His portrayal of the Sith Lord Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace led to roles in other big movies, a number of them just as incognito as he is in the Star Wars prequel. His fighting skills, however, are there for everyone to see.

2. Jason Statham

The Transporter trilogy made Jason Statham an action superstar, and rightly so. He looked and acted the part. In fact, in the hand-to hand combat scenes of a movie like the testosterone-laden The Expendables, he comes off as the toughest and the most hard hitting of them all.

3. Jeffrey Falcon

Many fans know him from the cult favorite Six-String Samurai, but Jeff Falcon, a former member of the US Wushu Team, starred in a bunch of Hong Kong films during the late 80s and early 90s, most of them bad ones. The martial arts, however, was really good.

4. Steven Seagal

In the 70s and early 80s, most martial arts movies featured either kung fu or karate. Then came Steven Seagal, who introduced the moviegoing public to Aikido via the 1988 movie Above the Law. While Seagal couldn’t act to save his life, he did make dispatching foes in such bone-crunching fashion look real cool on screen.

5. Jeff Speakman

Yet another martial arts form was introduced to film in 1991 when Jeff Speakman starred in The Perfect Weapon. Speakman, an 8th dan in American Kenpo Karate, showed us how a combination of speed and power can kick an entire dojo’s ass.

6. Brad Allan

The fact that he is the 1st non-Asian member of Jackie Chan’s stunt team speaks volumes about this diminutive martial artist’s abilities. A Wushu practitioner since the age of 14, Allan is also proficient in karate, aikido, boxing and kickboxing. He has appeared in a number of Jackie Chan’s movies, but his most memorable turn was in Gorgeous, where his fighting capabilities was put in full display with 2 action-packed sparring sessions with Jackie himself. He now works as a stunt coordinator for major Hollywood films like The Chronicles of Riddick, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and most recently, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

7. Scott Adkins

Like many good martial artists, English actor Scott Adkins started appearing in action movies as some henchman or minion of the main villain, often getting his ass kicked in short order by the hero. He still was the villain in the direct to dvd sequel Undisputed II: Last Man Standing, but his role as Uri Boyka was an excellent showcase for his skills, and directly led to bigger jobs and eventually a starring role in the 2010 release Ninja.

8. Jean Claude Van Damme

Jean Claude Van Damme is one of the few movie martial arts superstars who actually competed in full-contact karate and kickboxing tournaments, and was pretty good at it. His breakout film, Bloodsport, showcased much of Van Damme’s martial arts skills (and flexibility, doing splits like they were nothing). He soon became one of the biggest action superstars of the 80s and early 90s, with films like Kickboxer, Cyborg, Hard Target and Timecop. Aside from his ability to do compete splits, he is also well-known for his patented helicopter-style, jump spinning heel kicks.

9. Cyril Raffaelli

If there’s a French movie that has some martial arts in it, chances are, Cyril Raffaelli is in it. A regular in Luc Besson films, Rafaelli’s skills extend beyond martial arts though, as he is a Parkour practitioner as well. The Banlieue 13 movies saw him do an awesome mix of Parkour and karate and wushu. However, his talents were showcased to a much bigger audience in Live Free or Die Hard, where he toyed with Bruce Willis, but was defeated anyway. It’s John McClane for cryin’ out loud.

10. David Belle

The founder of Parkour, David Belle made jaws drop with his seemingly impossible feats of scaling, navigating and jumping off buildings in the quickest manner possible in the Banlieue 13 films. While his films didn’t really showcase much of his fighting skills, the chase scenes are especially astounding, right up there with the ones done by the likes of Jackie Chan and Tony Jaa. Some would even say he’s better. No nasty falls here.

Bonus: White Guys Who Are Not Martial Artists But Kicked Ass In Movies Just the Same

Liam Neeson

The big guy has always looked good in his fight scenes, either in sword fights in films like Rob Roy or in light sabre duels as a Jedi Master in The Phantom Menace. But it was his brutally efficient manner of disposing of his daughter’s kidnappers in the 2009 surprise hit Taken that cemented Neeson’s reputation as a cinematic badass. There has been some debate on the kind of martial arts used by Neeson in this movie, but many agree it’s closest to Kali or eskrima, the same Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) based fighting style used in the Bourne movies.

Matt Damon

And speaking of the Bourne movies, Matt Damon had to undergo three months of intense martial arts and stunt work training. The result, of course, were some of the most brutal hand-to-hand fight scenes in film history.

1. Bully Becomes Someone’s Bitch

Bully wants to fight, the bullied didn’t want to, bully attacks the bullied, and bully becomes the bullied’s bitch. That’s the way it should be.

2. Bully Clotheslines Girl, Turned Into Punching Bag By Girl’s BF

The next time you clothesline some girl, make sure she doesn’t have Manny Pacquiao for a boyfriend.

3. TapOut Guy Gets Tapped Out

This bully just gave TapOut merch a bad name.

4. Bully Gets In A Karate Expert’s Face, Gets One In the Face

Honestly, this punk stood a better chance against the garbage bin.

5. Scrawny Bully Gets Owned By Lanky Victim

This bully also stood a better chance against the skateboard.

6. Old Man Knocks Young Bully Down

Seriously, what’s with kids picking on weaker old men? Too bad for this one his victim’s not that weak.

7. Blonde Bully Gets Suckerpunched

Victims of bullying should be this smart. Pretend to not want to fight, then unleash a knockout punch.

8. Abraham Lincoln Pulls Down Bully’s Pants

OK, so the guy was probably harassing an ex-girlfriend, but The Great Emancipator would never stand for any of that crap and does the righteous thing of pulling the bully’s pants down.

9. Old Guy Gives Bully A Beatdown

This is just so wrong. Bearded old guy should also have slapped the crap out of the potty mouth bitch holding the camera and egging the bully on, and later stealing his bag.

10. Casey Heynes, Hero

He actually did what millions of bullying victims the world over have only fantasized about. What an inspiration.

It’s Holy Week and for Christians, it’s supposed to be time for some self-reflection and asking for forgiveness, but for the tattoo artists, those who wear these zombie Jesus tattoos, and this writer, it’ll probably take more than just one week of atonement to be forgiven for this.

To be perfectly honest, there are even worse Jesus tattoos out there. Posting them here would probably earn me a one-way ticket to someplace a lot warmer, thank you, so I decided not to. Posting pictures of zombie Jesus tattoos below is already worth a trip to Purgatory, which probably isn’t so bad.

Luckily for these people and I, Christians today aren’t as bloodthirsty as those from five hundred or so years ago. Or we would have known the joy of being hung upside down and vertically sawed in half from the crotch up.

In case you didn’t notice, there were no stupid comments for each picture. Despite evidence to the contrary, this writer is not stupid. No sir, at least not stupid enough to make fun of an image billions of people revere.

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1. Jordin Sparks

This American Idol promised years ago that she wouldn’t have sex until she’s married. She still hasn’t gotten hitched.

2. The Williams Sisters

Serena once dated Common, one of the best looking guys in the world of hip-hop music. Venus, on the other hand, has a long-time boyfriend in American pro golfer Hank Kuehne. I call BS on this one.

3. Julianne Hough

Gorgeous as this performing triple-threat is, I believe she’s still a virgin, at least since April 2010, when she started dating Ryan Seacrest.

4. Teyana Taylor

She once dated an NBA player whose name escapes me at the moment, and Chris Brown. Doubting this one.

5. Angela Simmons

Unlike other American socialites, Angela Simmons swears she’s still a virgin. But Bow Wow’s tweet about her changed all that. Now all she needs to do is make her own sex tape and she’ll make good company for other more infamous American socialites.

6. The Jonas Brothers

These brothers made a lot of noise a few years ago when they brandished purity rings and declared they would never have sex until they get married. Kevin Jonas got married in 2009, so he’s out. Joe Jonas dated Camilla Belle, Demi Lovato and is currently seeing Twilight star Ashley Greene. All three are hotties who never made such a fuss about their virginity, so unless Joe is secretly rooting for the other team, he’s probably popped the proverbial cherry by now. That leaves us with Nick, who has dated Miley Cyrus, another celebrity “virgin”. Make of that what you will.

7. Taylor Swift

She was linked to John Mayer, so all we need to do is wait for the douche to give a lengthy interview again for the details.

8. Selena Gomez

With pictures of her cavorting with The Bieber in the Caribbean, that probably means Selena’s already broken her vow to remain a virgin until marriage. We just didn’t expect that she was into girl-on-girl action.

9. Miley Cyrus

Her claim is made all the more solid by her penchant for posting sexy pictures of herself. Go figure.

10. Dakota Fanning

Now here’s something that’s believable. Dakota promised her mom that she won’t let her inner genie in a bottle out until she’s 18. Awww that’s sweet. Buying it. Totally.

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