Think Nicolas Cage (gracing our list 3 times) performing useless somersaults amidst a gunfight with John Travolta in a church, as a dozen doves inexplicably migrate through the room. Think Charlie Sheen having relations with Kristy Swanson while engaged in a high speed pursuit with policeman played by Henry Rollins. Think Keanu Reeves wrestling with a laid-back California surfer accent, and Patrick Swayze with his inexplicable karate moves. These movies are perfectly awesome, dripping cheese sandwiches.

This movie is filled with a gratuitous amount of corny one-liners. This is an example of a perfect “F” movie; so bad it is good. The plot follows Bruce Willis, a master oil driller, and his team of predictable misfits. The team of misfits is the last line of defense against an asteroid “twice the size of Texas” (why is Texas always used as the standard for measuring asteroids in movies?) heading straight for Earth. The team is charged with the task of boomeranging around the moon to generate enough speed to land on the asteroid. Once on the asteroid they are supposed to drill into its core and blow it in half with a nuke. No problem.

Cheesiest Moment Award: Before heading into space, A.J. (Ben Affleck) and Grace (Liv Tyler) share a painfully cliché scene. As they are holding each other, and getting all mushy gushy, Liv Tyler says, “Baby, do you think it’s possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?” To which A.J. replies, “I hope so, otherwise what the hell are we trying to save?”

The secret sauce to a successful John Woo movie: explosions, somersaults and John Travolta. John Woo leads the pack in physics-defying explosions. Woo’s explosions have conquered the air, land, and sea, whether it be a helicopter, train, motorcycle, or boat. Thank goodness we don’t live in a Wu-Physics world otherwise bicycles, skateboards, pogo sticks, and horses would be exploding all the time.

Cheesiest moment award: Christian Slater, Delroy Lindo, and Frank Whaley come to the conclusion that Vic Deakins (John Travolta) has duped them, and that he is in fact heading in the opposite direction of where whey they originally thought. After pleading with Lindo to chase down the bad guys, Lindo responds with, “Captain Hale, do you know what rules are?” Hale replies, “Yes.” Lindo declares, “Good… Because I’m about to break them.” [Cue testosterone inducing action music.]

This one walks a fine line between being very cheesy and absolutely terrible. Even L. Ron Hubbard would have been offended by John Travolta’s atrocious acting in this beauty of a film. The movie shamelessly wastes 118 minutes of your life that you will never get back, save for one glorious scene in which John Travolta delivers the most poorly written and acted line in the history of film.

Cheesiest Moment Award: In an all-time classic cheesy scene, Travolta complains about his new role with the bad guys, “I can assure you, that I was not groomed since birth to have some cushy job that even a moron like you could perform! While you were still learning to spell your name [emphatic]… I was being trained to conquer galaxies!”

115 glorious minutes of John Spartan (Stallone) and Simon Phoenix (Snipes) running, yelling, diving, and dropping unforgettable one-liners. The concept of the movie revolves around Stallone who was cryogenically frozen because he was too violent as a police officer, and accidentally, you know, killed some people. Apparently if you do your job too well, they will throw you in a giant block of ice and freeze you for thirty-something years. They thaw him out in 2032 to capture his arch-nemesis Simon Phoenix, who for some reason has a bleached blonde half Afro. And how about the character names John Spartan and Simon Phoenix? Only in an action movie can you get away with names like that.

Cheesiest Moment Award: Throughout the entire movie Simon Phoenix refers to himself in the third person, often saying “Simon Says…[insert cheesy command].” At one point of the movie, Phoenix declares, “Simon says… Die!” It was an unintentional hilarity.

Days of Thunder is the oldest movie on the list, barely making the cutoff. But thank goodness it did. What list would be complete without Cole Trickle (Tom Cruise) spending 110 minutes trying to convince us that he is a the best Nascar driver in the world, after only haven driven a couple months? The cheese is spread on thick the entire movie, ranging from Harry Hogge’s (Robert Duvall) monologue with a car, Tim Daland (Randy Quaid) desperately trying to be a tough bad guy, a destruction derby race on the beach, and a romance between Dr. Claire Lewicki (Nicole Kidman) and Cruise.

Cheesiest Moment Award: The romance between Cole and Claire starts with Cole grabbing Claire’s hand and placing it on his groin declaring, “I think this is what you are looking for.” Earlier in the movie Harry Hogge surprises Cole with a stripper disguised as a police officer. As a result, apparently Cruise’s character thinks every woman is a stripper.

Dennis Quaid is entertainingly unbelievable, in everything he does. Dragonheart is shamelessly fun to watch, despite Quaid’s inability to act his way out of a paper bag. The movie picks up years after Draco, a dragon with the voice of Sean Connery, gives half his heart to save a young prince. Bowen (Quaid) is a dragon slayer hell-bent on a mission to kill the dragon responsible for corrupting the heart of a ruthless king. The film is a classic “buddy movie” as the two supposed enemies team up and befriend one another against a common enemy. As cheesy as this movie is, it stills seems to pull at your heartstrings at the end, courtesy of Randy Edelman’s great score.

Cheesiest Moment Award: While on dragon hunting business, Bowen corners Draco into his home, a small cave under a waterfall. Bowen approaches Draco for the kill with swashbuckling pride. Draco declares, “Since you seek a profit, we might as well begin.” To which Bowen replies in as gravelly and gleeful a voice as he can manage “Oh don’t flatter yourself, it’s not the profit, it’s the pleasure!”

Who doesn’t believe the sincerity in Nicolas Cage’s voice when he says “Put the buunnnaay back in the box” or “Tie a ribbon ‘round the old oak tree, cause this boy’s comin’ home” in his best Southern drawl? Where he managed to dig up that atrocious accent, I don’t know, but I can’t get enough of it. The movie follows Cameron Poe (Cage) who was imprisoned for accidentally killing a man who was trying to rape his fiancé. The judge sentenced Poe to prison declaring, “You are a deadly weapon and are not subject to the same laws as other people that are provoked.” Which laws? Who made these “special laws”? I think everyone watched that scene and thought, “Ummm, huh?”

Cheesiest moment award: One of the cons aboard the “flying prison” double crosses Cyrus “The Virus” (John Malkovitch) by fleeing without him on a small Cessna airplane. John Cusack causes the con to wreck the plane before it can take off, causing it to spew jet fuel everywhere. As the con stumbles from the wrecked plane – completely covered in jet fuel – he says to Cyrus, “Cyrus we were coming to get you! Cy-” Cyrus cuts him off, “-anara” and throws a lit cigarette on him, blowing him up.

This entire movie is a bubbling, drippy, cheese sandwich. The story revolves around Jack “The Red-Nosed Robber” (Charlie Sheen). The premise of the movie being Jack has escaped from prison after being wrongly accused of being the Red Nosed Robber, a serial bank robber who dresses as a clown. The story picks up with Jack robbing a gas station using a candy bar as a fake gun, and kidnapping Natalie (Kristy Swanson).

Cheesiest Moment Award: At the very end of the movie Jack is surrounded by hundreds of police officers. He has no way out. After he gives himself up, Kristy Swanson hijacks a helicopter – yes, a helicopter. The two fly off to Mexico, have kids and live happily ever. Deliciously cheesy, indeed.

Where to start with this awfully great movie? As an actor, Keanu Reeves is a flaming dumpster fire. While he may have the personality of a roof shingle, his movies never cease to entertain. The movie follows a budding young detective Johnny Utah (Reeves) and his laughably stereotypical jaded mentor Pappas (Gary Busey). Reeves goes undercover posing as a surfer to find a gang of surfers thought to be robbing local banks, cue: Bodhi (Patrick Swayze). Bodhi is the local surfing legend, and inexplicable karate and Zen master.

Cheesiest Moment Award: Tie: While chasing Bodhi from a bank robbery, Johnny Utah lands on his bad knee and hurts himself so badly he can’t run. Knowing Bodhi is going to escape, he aims his gun at him. Bodhi turns around and gives him a genuine “puppy dog” look as the camera zooms in on his dreamy blue eyes. So dreamy, in fact, that Johhny Utah can’t pull the trigger. He instead decides to aim the gun straight up in the air screaming “Aaaahhhhhh!!” unloading the entire clip.
In another scene Johnny Utah almost has his face shoved into a running lawnmower by a bad guy (Warchild). Pappas comes to the rescue, shooting the lawnmower (instead of, you know, the bad guy) which promptly shuts off. Pappas points the gun into Warchild’s face and says, “Speak into the microphone, squid brain.”

In action films, there is a fine line between cheesy and sophisticated. John Woo shamelessly poured cheese all over that line, and Face/Off is the result. This is not to suggest that Woo poured recklessly, and that the result was a complete mess, on the contrary it was done quite artistically. The film is tightly edited and the gunplay is filmed to present over-the-top action in all its glamor.

Cheesiest moment award: As Sean Archer and Caster Troy battle each other on the land, sea, and in the air for the entirety of the 2 hour 18 minute film, they eventually end up fighting for the steering wheel of a speeding boat while simultaneously attempting to kill each other with fists, anchors, propellers, and spear guns. They briefly stop fighting in order to brace themselves for the imminent impact of their boat with a dock before a small beach shore. The next moment has what you might describe as one of two different things: an operatic quality or so cheesy you can’t take it all in at once and must avert your eyes. The moment the boat impacts the dock, it goes flipping into the air in glorious slow-mo with Archer and Troy flying through the air in front of it. The boat explodes as they land safely on the beach.

Agency: Ministry of Intelligence and Security (MOIS)
Nation: Iran

The ethos of Iran’s intelligence agencies and secret police remained steadfast throughout the twentieth century whilst the nation underwent significant political change. Revolution in 1979 led to the Shah being usurped by Ayatollah Khomeini, a man who promised to improve living conditions for all Iranians. However, the leading intelligence agency of Khomeini’s rule, the MOIS, is largely similar to its predecessor, SAVAK, which ran under the Shah’s regime; a notorious ministry feared by Iranians for their brutish mass executions of political opponents. ‘The Chain Murders’ spanning from 1988-1998 are perhaps the most infamous of MOIS’s operations. The intelligence agency is allegedly responsible for the deaths of 80 Iranian nationals during this time, most of whom were writers, intellectuals and political activists. The murders only gained real media attention in the west in 1998, when opposition party leader Dariush Forouhar (pictured) and three anti-Khomeini writers were executed over two days. Khomeini claimed the Iranian government had no involvement in the murders, shifting the blame to Saeed Emami, the deputy minister of intelligence. Emami supposedly committed suicide in prison, yet many believe he was eliminated for possessing information which posed a threat to Khomeini’s rule.

Agency: Internal Security Operations Command (ISOC)
Nation: Thailand

ISOC is a Thai intelligence agency which was established in 1966. It was originally created with help from the US, in a joint effort to prevent communist activities in the country. When the war was over and US troops returned home, ISOC was overtaken by military dictators. Since then, the organization has remained a military unit, and is responsible for maintaining national security. Ironically however, the Deputy Director of ISOC was involved in a plot to assassinate Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra (pictured) towards the end of his reign in power from 2001 to 2006. Pallop Tinsulanonda was accused of betraying his country when one of his lieutenants was caught driving a car filled with 67 kilograms of explosives within the residence of the Prime Minister. He denied the accusations claiming he would not have failed if he was behind the operation. Shinawatra was extremely unpopular, and was accused by many of leading a corrupt and oppressive government. After the 2006 coup in which Shinawatra was ousted from power, Tinsuldanonda was appointed public relations adviser to ISOC.

Agency: Bundesnachrichtendienst (BND)
Nation: Germany

The BND, Germany’s intelligence agency for identifying threats internationally, currently operates in dozens of countries around the globe. The BND’s operations are mostly covert, with wiretapping and surveillance the agency’s most effective method of information gathering. One such case of wiretapping which gained public attention was the BND’s surveillance on the Afghan Ministry of Commerce and Industry in 2006. The BND installed Trojan horse software to Ministry computers which forwarded confidential information onto the German government. This information included internal documents, government e-mails and passwords among other top secret Afghani Intel. When publicized, the surveillance sparked debate in Germany, with many citizens questioning the agency’s right to operate so far outside the law. Afghanistan were outraged and felt betrayed as Germany was thought to be a close ally. The reasons behind the BND’s surveillance of the particular Afghani Ministry remain unclear, but the German government have assured Kabul that all information has been destroyed.

Agency: Australian Security Intelligence Organisation (ASIO)
Nation: Australia

ASIO is in charge of protecting Australia’s shores from international threat, operating out of Canberra since 1949. The intelligence agency has been caught in a number of controversies during its 50 or so years working for the Australian government, with their alleged involvement in the ‘Sydney Hilton Bombing’ standing out from the rest. In February 1978, the Hilton hotel in Sydney was hosting the first Commonwealth Heads of Government Regional Meeting, an event with dozens of important political figures. Late one night, whilst twelve of the leaders were asleep at the hotel, a bomb exploded outside when a rubbish bin was emptied into a truck; the explosion killed two garbage men, a police officer and injured several other members of the public. Three men were initially convicted for the crime but police investigation uncovered a number of strange anomalies, such as a scientist from the national government body for scientific research of Australia claiming ASIO had pressured him into making the two bombs. Suspecting a cover up, the NSW Parliament voted for a state-federal inquiry into the bombing. However, the Australian government vetoed the inquiry and no further investigation has taken place. Conspiracy theorists believe the Australian government used ASIO to place the bombs in the hope that anti-terrorism support would allow them to pass laws extending the powers of police and security personnel.

Agency: Ministry of State Security of the People’s Republic of China (MSS)
Nation: China

The MSS of China operates slightly differently from other modern intelligence agencies on this list. Although they are primarily concerned with the protection of their country and counter-espionage, they also deploy agents internationally to acquire industrial information which strengthens their economy. Nowadays, much of the MSS tactics involve cyber-warfare and hacking by recruited academics and students. However, before the technological advancements made cyber hacking so threatening, the MSS had to rely on moles in intelligence agencies to gain confidential information. One such mole was Larry Wu-Tai Chin (pictured), a man who leaked information from the USA to his communist government for 35 years. Chin was initially an interpreter for the US consulate in Shanghai, but was then hired by the CIA to translate confidential documents from his homeland. Chin leaked information which allowed the Chinese government to expose some US operations in Asia, and informed them of President Nixon’s plans to improve relations between the two superpowers. Chin was eventually uncovered and convicted on counts of espionage and conspiracy.

Agency: Mossad
Nation: Israel

Israel’s position in world politics has forced the country to go to the greatest lengths to ensure the protection of their peoples. Mossad, the intelligence agency responsible for leading Israel’s fight against terrorism and safeguarding Jewish communities worldwide, has undertaken many risky and daring operations since its inception in 1949. Dozens of assassination attempts by Mossad have come to media attention throughout the years, with The ‘Lillehammer Affair’ one of the more memorable. In 1973, Mossad operatives believed they had killed Ali Hassan Salameh, leader of ‘Black September’, in Lillehammer, Norway. However, the man who was killed was not the mastermind behind the 1972 Munich Massacre, but Ahmed Bouchiki, a Moroccan waiter. Two Mossad agents involved in the assassination were arrested the next day after being caught driving the same car that had been witnessed leaving the crime scene. Documents were discovered implicating the two men and compromising several other Mossad missions in Europe.

Agency: Secret Intelligence Service (SIS)
Nation: United Kingdom

The SIS, or MI6 as it is more commonly known, has been immortalized in popular culture as the agency that employs James Bond. However, the British government funded agency has been protecting the nation since well before the 1960s. Significant involvement in both world wars, and the battle to prevent Soviet influence from spreading through Europe has formed the foundation for the intelligence agency we see today. One very risky operation that the SIS attempted (and failed), known as ‘The Ambassador’s Plot’, was to oust the Bolshevik government and appoint favored Soviet military leaders to run the country in 1918. Legendary spy Sidney Reilly and British diplomat Sir Robert Lockhart plotted a scheme to have Vladimir Lenin and other important Bolsheviks assassinated, exploiting Kremlin bodyguards whom had become disgruntled with Bolshevik rule. Before the plan could be executed however, Lenin and Moisei Uritsky (head of Cheka, the Soviet’s primary intelligence agency of the time), were shot on the same day by a socialist party member and soldier respectively; Uritsky was killed but Lenin survived. These attempts on Bolshevik lives fast-tracked and justified Cheka’s ‘Red Terror’, a campaign which saw thousands of political opponents and intellectuals arrested, sent to labour camps or killed. Reilly’s motives were discovered, yet he managed to escape Soviet capture by fleeing to Finland, and eventually made his way to London. Lockhart was arrested, then exchanged with the UK for Soviet diplomat Maxim Litvinov.

Agency: Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)
Nation: United States of America

The CIA is arguably the most well-known intelligence agency in the world. It is the only intelligence agency on this list which is officially independent of the government, instead reporting to the Director of National Intelligence. Nevertheless, the CIA has been used countless times by US Presidents to nullify national threats which need to be dealt with swiftly and covertly. Perhaps the most famous uncovered operation by the CIA was the ‘Bay of Pigs Invasion’ at the beginning of John F Kennedy’s ill fated term as US President. The operation aimed to overthrow Fidel Castro’s communist regime in Cuba; a government which was forging strong ties with the Soviet Union, the USA’s greatest threat at the time. CIA trained Cuban operatives entered the country from the South Coast ‘Bay of Pigs’ on the 17th of April, 1961. Castro, having caught wind of the invasion through his own intelligence agency, was prepared and the military thwarted the operation within just three days. The mission was considered a huge failure. Kennedy’s administration was drilled by the media and political opponents. The invasion had profound influence on Castro’s dealings with the US during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962.

Agency: General Directorate for External Security (DGSE)
Nation: France

The DGSE, officially formed in 1982, is the French Government’s intelligence agency for international operations. The DGSE were called into action in 1985 to protect France’s nuclear testing in the Pacific from protesting vessels. The ‘Rainbow Warrior’, a Greenpeace serving ship, was picked to lead an armada of anti-nuclear yachts to interfere with the testing in Moruroa, French Polynesia. However, whilst the ship was docked in Auckland, New Zealand, prior to the test date, members of the DGSE placed two bombs under the vessel. These naval mines would explode separately over a 10 minute period, in the hope that the first explosion would force people to flee the ship, and the second explosion would sink the ship without any human casualties. The event did not go to plan; some of the crew returned to the ship after the first explosion to survey the damage. Fernando Pereira, a Dutch photographer, was killed when the second mine detonated, drowning in the floods of water that engulfed the ship. A New Zealand police investigation resulted in the capturing of agents Dominique Prieur and Alain Marfart before they could escape the country on Swiss passports. The French Government publicly acknowledged their involvement in the fiasco and paid GreenPeace $8.16 million dollars in 1987. Prieur and Marfart only served 2 years imprisonment at a French military base in French Polynesia.

Agency: Federal Security Service (FSB)
Nation: Russia

The FSB is the Kremlin’s ministry of intelligence and security, spawning in the early 1990s out of the ashes of the Soviet Union’s most feared entity, the KGB. They are accused of poisoning former KGB and FSB operative and exile Alexander Litvinenko (pictured) in London, 2006. Litvinenko had lived in the UK since fleeing Russia in 1998 after accusing the FSB of ordering the assassination of Boris Berezovsky, a Russian political figure. He and other former operatives were arrested, but the charges against Litvinenko were eventually dropped; he immediately escaped the country with his family. In London, Litvinenko released many publications criticizing Vladimir Putin’s rise to power and holding Russian intelligence agencies responsible for terrorist acts. Litvinenko was exposed to polonium-210, a radioactive element which hospitalized him on the 1st of November 2006, and caused his death just twenty-two days later. Although information directly linking FSB to Litvinenko’s death has never been found, it is widely believed that the Russian Government ordered his assassination to prevent him from publishing any more attacks on Putin’s rule.

The Holy Tunic of Christ is said to have been worn by Jesus during or shortly before his Crucifixion. It is preserved at the Cathedral of Trier in Germany. In the Gospel of John, the soldiers cast lots on who would receive the tunic because it was woven in one single piece. Hence the name, the Seamless Robe.

“Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took His garments (ta himatia) and divided them into four parts, to every soldier a part, and the coat (kai ton chitona). Now the coat was without seam, woven whole from the top down. Therefore, they said among themselves, let us not tear it, but cast lots for it, whose it will become. Thus the saying in Scripture was fulfilled: they divided My raiment (ta imatia) among them, and upon My vesture (epi ton himatismon) did they cast lots” (John 19:23-24; quoting the Septuagint version of Psalm 21 [22]:18-19).

According to legend, Helena, mother of Constantine the Great, discovered the seamless robe in the Holy Land in the year 327 or 328 along with several other relics, including the True Cross. According to different versions of the story, she either bequeathed it or sent it to the city of Trier, where Constantine had lived for some years before becoming emperor. (The monk Altmann of Hautvillers wrote in the 9th century that Helena was born in that city, though this report is strongly disputed by most modern historians.)

The history of the Trier robe is certain only from the 12th century. On May 1, 1196, Archbishop Johann I of Trier consecrated an altar in which the seamless robe was contained. It is no longer possible to determine the exact historical path that the robe took to arrive there, so many hold it to be a medieval forgery. The various attempts at preservation and restoration through the centuries have made it difficult to determine how much of the relic (if genuine) actually stems from the time of Jesus. A scientific examination of the specimen has not been conducted. The stigmatist Therese Neumann of Konnersreuth declared that the Trier robe was authentic.

The Holy Lance (also known as the Spear of Destiny, Holy Spear, Lance of Longinus, Spear of Longinus or Spear of Christ) is the name given to the lance that pierced Jesus’ side as he hung on the cross in John’s account of the Crucifixion.

The lance (Greek: λογχη, longche) is mentioned only in the Gospel of John (19:31–37) and not in any of the Synoptic Gospels. The gospel states that the Romans planned to break Jesus’ legs, a practice known as crurifragium, which was a method of hastening death during a crucifixion. Just before they did so, they realized that Jesus was already dead and that there was no reason to break his legs. To make sure that he was dead, a Roman soldier (named in extra-Biblical tradition as Longinus) stabbed him in the side. … but one of the soldiers pierced his side with a lance (λογχη), and immediately there came out blood and water. —John 19:34

Saint John tells that, in the night between Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, Roman soldiers mocked Christ and his Sovereignty by placing a thorny crown on his head (John 19:12). The crown housed in the Paris cathedral is a circle of canes bundled together and held by gold threads. The thorns were attached to this braided circle, which measures 21 centimeters in diameter. The thorns were divided up over the centuries by the Byzantine emperors and the Kings of France. There are seventy, all of the same type, which have been confirmed as the original thorns. The relics of the Passion presented at Notre-Dame de Paris include a piece of the Cross, which had been kept in Rome and delivered by Saint Helen, the mother of Emperor Constantine, a nail of the Passion and the Holy Crown of Thorns. Of these relics, the Crown of Thorns is without a doubt the most precious and the most revered. Despite numerous studies and historical and scientific research efforts, its authenticity cannot be certified. It has been the object of more than sixteen centuries of fervent Christian prayer.

In the Christian tradition, the True Cross refers to the actual cross used in the Crucifixion of Jesus. Today, many fragments of wood are claimed as True Cross relics, but in most cases it is hard to establish their authenticity. The spread of the story of the fourth century discovery of the True Cross was partly due to its inclusion in 1260 in Jacopo de Voragine’s very popular book The Golden Legend, which also included other tales such as Saint George and the Dragon. Pieces of the purported True Cross, including the half of the INRI inscription tablet, are preserved at the ancient basilica Santa Croce in Gerusalemme in Rome. Very small pieces or particles of the True Cross are reportedly preserved in hundreds of other churches in Europe and inside crucifixes. Their authenticity is not accepted universally by those of the Christian faith and the accuracy of the reports surrounding the discovery of the True Cross is questioned by many Christians.

The Shroud of Turin is the best-known relic of Jesus and one of, if not the, most studied artifacts in human history. Believers contend that the shroud is the cloth placed on the body of Jesus Christ at the time of his burial, and that the face image is the Holy Face of Jesus. Detractors contend that the artifact postdates the Crucifixion of Jesus by more than a millennium. Both sides of the argument use science and historical documents to make their case. The striking negative image was first observed on the evening of May 28, 1898, on the reverse photographic plate of amateur photographer Secondo Pia, who was allowed to photograph it while it was being exhibited in the Turin Cathedral. The Catholic Church has neither formally endorsed or rejected the shroud, but in 1958 Pope Pius XII approved of the image in association with the Roman Catholic devotion to the Holy Face of Jesus.

The Iron Crown of Lombardy is both a reliquary and one of the most ancient royal insignia of Europe. The crown became one of the symbols of the Kingdom of Lombards and later of the medieval Kingdom of Italy. It is kept in the Cathedral of Monza, in the suburbs of Milan. The Iron Crown is so called from a narrow band of iron about one centimeter (three-eighths of an inch) within it, said to be beaten out of one of the nails used at the crucifixion. The outer circlet of the crown is of six segments of beaten gold partly enameled, joined together by hinges and set with twenty-two gemstones that stand out in relief, in the form of crosses and flowers. Its small size and hinged construction have suggested to some that it was originally a large armlet or perhaps a votive crown; for others, the small size of the present crown was caused by a readjustment after the loss of two segments, as described in historical documents.

The Veil of Veronica, which according to legend was used to wipe the sweat from Jesus’ brow as he carried the cross is also said to bear the likeness of the Face of Christ. Today, several images claim to be the Veil of Veronica. There is an image kept in Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome which purports to be the same Veronica as was revered in the Middle Ages. Very few inspections are recorded in modern times and there are no detailed photographs. The most detailed recorded inspection of the 20th century occurred in 1907 when Jesuit art historian Joseph Wilpert was allowed to remove two plates of glass to inspect the image.

The Scala Sancta (English: Holy Stairs) are, according to the Christian tradition, the steps that led up to the praetorium of Pontius Pilate in Jerusalem, which Jesus Christ stood on during his Passion on his way to trial. The stairs were, reputedly, brought to Rome by St. Helena in the 4th Century. For centuries, the Scala Santa has attracted Christian pilgrims who wished to honor the Passion of Jesus. It consists of twenty-eight white marble steps, now encased by wooden steps, located in a building which incorporates part of the old Lateran Palace, located opposite the Basilica of Saint John Lateran. They are located next to a church which was built on ground brought from Mount Calvary. The stairs lead to the Sancta Sanctorum (English: Holy of Holies), the personal chapel of the early Popes in the Lateran palace, known as the chapel of St. Lawrence.

The Image of Edessa, as known as the Mandylion, was allegedly sent by Jesus himself to King Abgar V of Edessa to cure him of leprosy, with a letter declining an invitation to visit the king. The story of this image is the product of centuries of development during which the image was lost and reappeared several times. Today two images claim to be the Mandylion, one is the Holy Face of Genoa at the Church of St Bartholomew of The Armenians in Genoa, the other the Holy Face of San Silvestro, kept in the Church of San Silvestro in Capite in Rome up to 1870 now in the Matilda Chapel of the Vatican Palace, The theory that the object venerated as the Mandylion from the sixth to the thirteenth centuries was in fact the Shroud of Turin has been the subject of debate, but is now mostly rejected as a hypothesis.

The Holy Grail is a sacred object figuring in literature and certain Christian traditions, most often identified with the dish, plate, or cup used by Jesus at the Last Supper and said to possess miraculous powers. The connection of Joseph of Arimathea with the Grail legend dates from Robert de Boron’s Joseph d’Arimathie (late 12th century) in which Joseph receives the Grail from an apparition of Jesus and sends it with his followers to Great Britain; building upon this theme, later writers recounted how Joseph used the Grail to catch Christ’s blood while interring him and that in Britain he founded a line of guardians to keep it safe. The quest for the Holy Grail makes up an important segment of the Arthurian cycle, appearing first in works by Chrétien de Troyes. The legend may combine Christian lore with a Celtic myth of a cauldron endowed with special powers. The Grail legend’s development has been traced in detail by cultural historians: It is a legend which first came together in the form of written romances, deriving perhaps from some pre-Christian folklore hints, in the later 12th and early 13th centuries. The early Grail romances centered on Percival and were woven into the more general Arthurian fabric. Some of the Grail legend is interwoven with legends of the Holy Chalice. The work of Leonardo da vinci presents the Holy Grail as derivative of sang real literally meaning holy blood, i.e blood lineage of Jesus with his alleged wife Mary Magdalene which has been kept hidden to date.

Monster: Aliens; One-eyed creature.

It came from outer space is an original sci-fi 3D film, the creature attacking the people of Earth is really frightening with its big scary eye – and that eye is huge! I think it’s a really underrated film, and should be praised more like Creature from the Black Lagoon.

The movie centers around the author and amateur astronomer John Putnam (Richard Carlson) and his woman Ellen Fields (Barbara Rush) as they witness a meteorite crash-land near Sand Rock, Arizona. Putnam is quick to believe that it’s a space craft that has landed on Earth, but Fields is skeptical about it.

Putnam is proven right when a number of local people start to disappear and act strangely. He wants to reach a peaceful solution, so he goes into a mine which he hopes will lead him to the buried spacecraft and its occupants. It ends up that the aliens are benign beings whose space craft crashed because of a malfunction; they planned to stay until the parts on the ship were replaced. They temporarily took control of a few humans since they looked so different from them. In a way, you could say that they feared us more, than we did them.

Monster: The Phantom; disfigured Claudin.

The Phantom of the Opera (1943) is known for its amazing music and beautiful colors, but there is also looming an evilness, or is it evil? Isn’t it just love gone bad? This story is Universal’s version of the Phantom and the idea of the acid has spawned many versions like this. Claudin isn’t a monster, but just madly in love.

The story tells us about an old lonely violinist, Erique Claudin (Claude Rains). Claudin has been playing in the Paris Opera for twenty years, but soon finds himself fired due to a lack of motion in his left hand. Claudin is broke; he is so in love with the voice of Christine Dubois (Susanna Foster) that he has used all his money on paying lessons for her, so she can become the greatest singer of all!

With no money to pay for her lessons and being kicked out of his small apartment, Claudin is forced to sell his lifework – a concerto. Unfortunately the author is an old angry man who doesn’t like newcomers. Frustrated, Claudin searches for his lifework at the office, but he can’t find it! He starts to shake in anger when he hears his concerto being played in the next room. A misunderstanding leads Claudin to strangle the author, whose wife throws acid in his face. Disfigured, Claudin escapes in the sewers and catacombs of Paris. He is now transformed into the Phantom, stalking and killing out of madness and love mixed together – helping Christine and killing anyone who tries to stop him or her voice from being great.

Monster: Frankenstein’s Bride.

Everyone knows Frankenstein’s bride; she’s beauty mixed with elegance and ugliness. She’s one of the 8 Legendary Universal Monsters, and an all-time original. This list is nothing without The Bride of Frankenstein.

The story continues right after the original Frankenstein’s ending, the monster (Boris Karloff) has survived the burning and crumbling windmill and is very lonely. He isn’t evil, just misunderstood, and he misses love. Henry Frankenstein (the doctor that created the monster) survived the kidnapping too, and now meets his old professor Dr. Septimus Pretorius, the two of them plan in madness to create a bride of Frankenstein.

A storm rages as final preparations are made to bring the Bride to life. Her bandage-wrapped body is raised through the roof. Lightning strikes a kite, sending electricity through the Bride. Henry and Pretorius lower her and realize their success. “She’s alive! Alive!” Henry screams. The excited Monster sees his mate (Elsa Lanchester) and reaches out to her, asking, “Friend?” The Bride, screaming, rejects him. “She hate me! Like others,” the Monster cries. Angered, the Monster rampages the lab and finally tells Henry and Elizabeth, “Yes! Go! You live!” To Pretorius and the Bride he says, “You stay. We belong dead.” As Henry and Elizabeth escapes the monster sheds a tear while pulling a lever making the castle and lab collapse.

Monster: Imhotep; ancient priest.

The Mummy is a cult classic and also one of the 8 Universal Monsters. its story has been retold in other forms from time to time, but nothing comes near this exiting ancient story about the evil Egyptian priest Imhotep. The Mummy has spanned many semi-sequels – The Mummy’s Hand, The Mummy’s Tomb, The Mummy’s Ghost, and The Mummy’s Curse. Though these doesn’t center around Imhotep, but Kharis.

An Ancient Egyptian priest called Imhotep (Boris Karloff) is revived when an archaeological expedition led by Sir Joseph Whemple (Arthur Byron) finds Imhotep’s mummy. Despite the warning from his friend Dr. Muller (Edward Van Sloan), Sir Joseph’s assistant reads an ancient life-giving spell that brings Imhotep back to live. Imhotep escapes from the archaeologists, taking the Scroll of Thoth, and prowls Cairo seeking the reincarnation of the soul of his ancient lover, Princess Ankh-es-en-amon.

Ten years pass and Imhotep returns in human form, now under the name Ardath Bey. He contacts Sir Joseph’s son and says that he knows were Ankh-es-en-amon’s tomb is. After a lot of digging, they finally find her grave; the mummy and treasures are given to the Cairo National Museum. Imhotep was once mummified alive for attempting to resurrect her and – upon finding Helen Grosvenor (Zita Johann), a woman bearing a striking resemblance to the Princess – attempts to kill her with the intention of mummifying her corpse, bringing it back to life using the ancient scroll, and making her his bride. In the end the scroll that keeps Imhotep alive is burned, due to Helen remembering her past and praying to the goddess Isis, making Imhotep crumble to a skeleton.

Monster: Griffin; Mad scientist.

This film is just awesome! It has action, explosions, a mad scientist, and the idea of being invisible! The film was made in the ’30s and it’s just amazing that the technology at that time could make a man invisible. And we must not forget the very amusing acting of Claude Rains; his voice will tear your soul apart.

The film opens in a blizzard, where we see this mysterious man with bandages covering his face and body and his eyes obscured by dark goggles. He takes a room at an inn in the English village of Iping, and tells the owners, with his crumbling voice, that he wants to be left alone. The Invisible Man has also spanned many interesting sequels – The Invisible Man Returns, The Invisible Woman, Invisible Agent, and The Invisible Man’s Revenge. All these films has some of the greatest special effects of the ’30s.

We later find out that the mystery man is Griffin (Claude Rains) a mad scientist who has created a drug that makes you invisible! The film continues with the people of Iping discovering him, forcing him to torment and kill anyone who tries to stop him, which in the end makes him a complete madman. He is hunted down like Frankenstein and shot in the snow. We then see his dead body regaining visibility again.

Monster: Larry Talbot; half wolf, half man.

I think personally that this is the greatest American Werewolf film. The make-up is very wolfy, but with an extra touch of human! I like that! And the fact that the son of Lon Chaney plays the Wolf Man makes it even better. Also you actually feel sorry for the monster, it’s not his fault he just transforms automatically to the wolf and kills. The Wolf Man also had appearances in other films, but never alone – Frankenstein meets the Wolf Man, House of Frankenstein, and House of Dracula.

After learning of the death of his brother, Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney, Jr.) returns to his ancestral home in Llanwelly, Wales to reconcile with his estranged father, Sir John Talbot (Claude Rains). While there, Larry becomes romantically interested in a local girl named Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers), who runs an antique shop. He tries to make a conversation with Gwen by buying a silver-headed walking stick decorated with a wolf.

That night, Larry attempts to rescue Gwen’s friend Jenny from what he believes to be a sudden wolf attack. He kills the beast with his new walking stick, but is bitten on the chest in the fight. Talbot transforms into a wolf-like creature and stalks the village, first killing the local gravedigger. Talbot has weak memories of being a werewolf and wanting to kill, and continually struggles to overcome his condition. In the end he’s killed by his father with his own silver-headed walking stick.

Monster: Count Dracula of Transylvania.

The old and classic novel by Bram Stoker is now retold as a Universal Monster film, with the famous Bela Lugosi portraying the charming, but deadly Count Dracula, who can not only transform into a bat, but also a wolf. This film will never be forgotten. Universal Studios created four sequels to the franchise – Dracula’s Daughter, Son of Dracula, House of Dracula, and appearances in House of Frankenstein.

Renfield (Dwight Frye) is a solicitor on his way to the Castle belonging to Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi) in Transylvania on a business matter. The people in the local village are fearful that vampires inhabit the castle and warn Renfield not to go there. Renfield refuses to stay at the local inn and asks the driver of the carriage that brought him to the village to take him to the Borgo Pass. The innkeeper’s wife gives him a crucifix to protect him from the blood-thirsty vampires. He is driven to the castle by Dracula’s coach, with Dracula himself disguised as the driver. During the trip, Renfield sticks his head out the window to ask the driver to slow down, but is startled to see that the driver has disappeared, and a bat is leading the horses.

As the story continues we meet Dracula’s three wives, and together they transform Renfield into a mindless slave by Dracula drinking his blood. Dracula eventually finds his way to London and begins to fill his lungs with blood, while having Van Helsing on his heels.

In the end, Van Helsing and Harker hunt Dracula down to his castle. Dracula, thinking that Renfield lead them to him, strangles Renfield and kills him. The sunrise forces Dracula to cover in his coffin making him open and weak to Van Helsing and Harker. As Harker keeps searching for the kidnapped and hypnotized Mina, Dracula moans in pain when Van Helsing impales him with a wooden stick, which causes Mina to return to normal. Harker leaves with Mina while Van Helsing stays.

Monster: Frankenstein’s Monster.

I think that on this list Frankenstein’s Monster is one of the most original monsters. Boris Karloff is just amazing as the Monster, his appearance, his speech and even his glance! It’s in this film that the ever so famous flat head of Frankensten’s Monster was decided! So why not No. 1 since he’s Universal’s most well-known monster (if not the most well-known monster of all time)? Well, I guess you’ll just have to see No. 2 and 1 on this list to know! Though I must say it was very hard to choose between these three great movies.

Frankenstein was also followed by a string of sequels – The Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, The Ghost of Frankenstein, Frankenstein meets the Wolf Man, House of Frankenstein, and House of Dracula. From Ghost of Frankenstein Lon Chaney Jr. took over Boris Karloff’s role as the monster.

Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive), an ardent young scientist, and his devoted assistant Fritz (Dwight Frye), a hunchback, piece together a human body, the parts of which have been secretly collected from various sources. Frankenstein’s consuming desire is to create human life through various electrical devices which he has perfected.

The brain is the only part missing, and Fritz is out to get it. Stupid as he is, he drops the normal brain on the ground, thinking that the brain next to the broken brain is just as normal he takes it. What Fritz doesn’t know is that the brain he took is actually a criminal brain! In the same way as the Bride of Frankenstein, the Monster is lay down on an operating table and risen to an opening in the lab. Lightning hits the Monster making Henry scream, “It’s alive! It’s alive!”

The monster turns out to be out of control and mad because of its differences from other people, therefore Henry is forced to lock him down in the basement. Unfortunately, the Monster escapes and brings chaos in the little township, forcing the people to hunt the Monster down, and burn it (with its only weakness, fire) in a windmill.

Monster: The Creature.

This amazing piece of motion picture is genius! Ladies and gentlemen, this is a true freak of nature! A true monster and one of the best monsters to ever be produced by Universal. The Creature’s make-up is just so realistic that it even beats nowadays’ special effects. I mean, now they use computers, which sometimes can make it look just a little bit FAKE! But this is something else.

An expedition in the Amazon uncovers fossilized evidence from the Devonian period of a link between land and sea animals in the form of a skeleton hand with webbed fingers. Expedition leader Dr. Carl Maia (Antonio Moreno) visits his friend, Dr. David Reed (Richard Carlson), an ichthyologist who works at a marine biology institute. Reed persuades the institute’s financial backer, Dr. Mark Williams (Richard Denning), to fund a return expedition to the Amazon to look for the remainder of the skeleton.
They go aboard a tramp steamer, the Rita, which is captained by a crusty old codger named Lucas (Nestor Paiva). The expedition consists of David, Carl and Mark, as well as Reed’s girlfriend, Kay Lawrence (Julia Adams), and another scientist, Dr. Edwin Thompson (Whit Bissell). When they arrive at the camp, they discover that Maia’s entire research team has been mysteriously killed while he was away.

As the story continues the Gill-man starts to stalk the strange-looking humans, and finally falls in love with the beauty Kay (so it’s kind of like beauty and the beast). The story centers around the Gill-man killing the crew members, and the crew trying to catch the monster. Reed is actually just interested in leaving and gathering a bigger crew, but Mark wants to stay and catch the beast by himself, so he can be rich and famous.

Random encounters with the Gill-man claim the lives of two of Lucas’ crew members, before the Gill-man is captured and locked in a cage on board the Rita. It escapes during the night and attacks Edwin, who was guarding it. Kay hits the beast with a lantern, driving it off before it can kill Edwin. Following this incident, Reed decides they should return to civilization, but as the Rita tries to leave, they find the entrance blocked by fallen logs, the work of the escaped Gill-man.

In the end the Gill-man kidnaps Kay leading to David, Lucas, and Carl chasing the Gill-man to save her. Kay is rescued and the creature is riddled with bullets before he retreats to the lagoon where his body sinks in the watery depths, presumably dead.

Monster: Erik; The Phantom.

The first Universal Monsters’ Monster! Gaston Leroux’s amazing novel is transformed into an extraordinary film starring the man of a thousand faces, Lon Chaney. This is the closest you get to Leroux’s novel from 1911, and the make-up for the Phantom was so scary that the women fainted in the cinemas. Even though there are no voices, this is the best acting on this list. It even makes the expressions more powerful, with no voices to do the job. Simply the best monster make-up and story by Universal Monsters.

The film is about the sad story which centers around the tormented and disfigured Erik (Lon Chaney). He lives in the catacombs beneath the Paris Opera, goes in disguise as the Phantom and falls in love with the beautiful Christine Daaé (Mary Philbin). She sees him as the angel of music and her mysterious master teaching her in the shadows, but their teaching (love from Erik’s side) is disturbed by Raoul de Chagny (Norman Kerry) which forces Erik to kidnap Christine to his lair many cellars down under the opera.

Raoul follows Erik and Christine with a secret detective (Arthur Edmuns Carewe). As the Phantom already had caused the famous chandelier sabotage in the Opera, he did not hesitate to kill, already having killed Raoul’s brother. Erik traps Raoul and the detective in many traps almost killing them with heat, and drowning them.

There are two endings to this version, the original and the more “heart breaking” ending. The original ends with the Phantom attempting to flee with Christine in a stolen carriage. While Raoul saves Christine, Erik/Phantom is pursued and killed by a mob, who throw him into the Seine River to finally drown. The “heart breaking” version ends with the Phantom letting Christine and Raoul go after realizing that Christine truly loves Raoul and not him. Christine gives the Phantom her ring, then departs with Raoul. The Phantom shrieks in pain and falls over dead, of a broken heart.

Huldra (or called Tallemaja in Swedish) is a troll-like woman living in the woods. She is fair and beautiful, but wild and has a long cow-tail which she hides behind her back upon meeting a human. It is said that Adam and Eve had many children, and that one day, when Eve was giving her children a bath, God came to visit. Eve had not finished bathing all of her children, and so hid those who were still dirty. God asked: “Are there not more children?” and when Eve said no, God said: “Then let all that is hidden, remain hidden,” and the hidden children became De Underjordiske (the ones living underground), lost souls who live under the surface of the earth, calling for someone to be with them, usually human passersby. Huldra was one of them, but she somehow remained above the ground. She is a flirtatious, young girl who is neither good nor evil.

These beings are actually still very important in the modern society. In the Scandinavian Christmas tradition, there is no Santa in the shape of a fat, bearded guy who lives at the North Pole. Instead, we each have our own Nisse, living in the barn (that is to say, if you are a farmer, or living in the countryside), who is like a guardian for the household. These creatures are typical pranksters, but can easily be befriended, and around Christmas they have the same function as Santa in Western traditions.

Made famous by J. R. R. Tolkien, the dwarves and the elves originate from Norse Mythology. The dwarves lived in their own part of Midgard; a place no human could find. They were small people, often pictured as little men with long beards, who were master smiths, and made the swords, shields and armor for the gods themselves. The elves lived in a deep forest nearby the castle of Frøy, the god of fertility, called Alvheim. They were fair and beautiful, and commonly seen as peaceful creatures.

Mare is a female Vette, who gives people bad dreams at night by sitting on them in their sleep. She is a common belief in Germanic folklore, and appears in many different shapes. The Scandinavian words for Nightmare, are: Norwegian – Mareritt, Danish – Mareridt, Swedish – Mardröm, which directly translated means Mare-ride, and Mare-dream.

Fossegrimmen, or just Grim (Foss is Norwegian for Waterfall) is a water-creature. He is a young, handsome man who sits naked under waterfalls, playing the fiddle. He plays the music of nature itself; the sound of the water, the wind in the trees, it all comes from his music. He is said to teach humans how to play if they secretly brought him a stolen piece of meat. Torgeir Augundsson (1801-1872), better known as Myllarguten, was a famous fiddle-player from Telemark, Norway who was so good it was rumored he had sold his soul in exchange of Fossegrimmen’s skills.

The troll comes from Norse Mythology, inspired by the cruel giants who were the main enemies of the gods, known as jotner/jotuner/jötunn, who lived in the mountains of Utgard. They have a human like appearance, but they are incredibly ugly and huge, and every story about them tells of how stupid they are. In the old tales, there were trolls of all kinds, some living in the high mountains, in castles carved out of the stone, in deep forests, and some even by the shore. Upon the arrival of Christianity around the 1300s, the stories changed. The trolls were able to smell the blood of a Christian man, and basically they stood for anything of the old times, which the new religion condemned. Oh, and if they every came in contact with sunlight, they turned to stone.

The Black Death was a tragedy for all of the Scandinavian countries, Denmark lost one third of its population, while Norway lost half. The plaque was so devastating, the people soon made it into a character of its own. Pesta comes as the figure of death and illness, in the shape of a hideous, old woman dressed in black, carrying a broom and a rake. She traveled from farm to farm, spreading the plague. If she carried with her the rake, some of the inhabitants would survive, but if she was carrying the broom, everyone in the family would soon die. It is still common to mention Pesta in the context of disease and illness.

Nökken/Nyk/Nykkjen is a mysterious water creature, residing in fresh-water, lakes and deep ponds. He is, in Norwegian tradition, described as a dark monster with his eyes just above the surface, watching as people walk by. In Swedish tradition, he is a beautiful, young man, tricking women into jumping into the water, and then drowning them. He is a shapeshifter, and can change into a white horse, letting young children ride on his back and then jumping with them back into his pond. He is also said to be a talented musician, playing the violin so that the villagers can hear him at night. There were ways to protect oneself from him; you could throw a piece of metal into the water, like a needle or an iron cross, and so save yourself. If he had already attacked, you could overpower him by saying his name. “Nyk! Nyk! Naal i vatn. Jomfru Maria kastet styaal i vatn! Du sæk, æk flyt!” was a riddle for protection, meaning: “Nyk! Nyk! Needle in the water. The Virgin Mary threw steel in the water! You are sinking, I float!”

Draugen, from Norse “draugr” meaning ghost. Yet another water creature, and this one is something you really wouldn’t want to meet when you’re out in your boat. Draugen is the ghost of a man who died at sea. He is huge and monster-like, and covered in seaweed, rowing in half a boat. He erupts a terrible scream when he appears, and legend has it he can be seen during stormy nights at sea, drowning sailors and fishermen, and sinking their boats and ships. There is a story of a man who once ran from Draugen and into a churchyard, where he shouted for the spirits of the dead to protect him. The day after, all the graves were open, and the churchyard was covered in seaweed. In these days, Draugen is commonly associated with anything dark and mystical about the sea.

Kraken is probably a creature most people will recognize. It’s been used in several movies, like Pirates of the Caribbean and Clash of the Titans, but originally, the Kraken belongs in the cold Norwegian Sea, where it was first said to be seen in the early 1700s. The first detailed description was made by the Danish writer and biologist, Erik Pontoppidan, in 1752. In old times, the Kraken was said to be in the shape of a huge crab, the size of an island, and many sailors and fishermen found themselves stranded on an island that had not been there minutes before. Later descriptions tell of a monster in the shape of an enormous octopus, which dragged ships down to the bottom of the sea.

Sung first in the movie “The Singing Hill” (1941), the song was covered numerous times by popular artists before Fats Domino recorded the version we are all familiar with. Perhaps the surprising thing is that none of those covers were remembered.

A Motown-style B-side on a record that flopped, it barely survived in Britain’s Northern soul clubs during the ’70s. Jones tried to revive it in 1976 by re-releasing it with a mediocre funk guitar line and a little harsher singing style but that effort failed too, probably because it was worst than the first version. It was saved by obscurity when Soft Cell did their cover which musically fit the early ’80s scene perfectly.

Apparently in the early ’70s, Joe Flaherty of SCTV fame grew some long hair and sideburns and decided to dress all in plaid. He teamed up with a guitar-playing Sparklettes truck and a bass player that looks normal next to those two despite wearing clothes from the 1970s. Despite the fact that they completely don’t look it, they actually rock.

Slade-inspired band Arrows (not The Arrows) had a TV show that ran for two series (seasons in the US) in the 1970s. Besides Joan Jett’s famous cover, the song was also done by Britney Spears and Kristen Wiig. I dare you to listen to those covers all the way through.

Close your eyes and imagine listening to this song. You hear Kim Carnes’ raspy voice and the question is: is she angry or on a three pack a day cigarette habit (or both). What you probably didn’t hear was something straight off of Broadway. Jackie DeShannon was actually a major player in the ’60s rock and roll scene and she barely missed hitting it big with “Put a Little Love in Your Heart” and “What the World Needs Now Is Love.”

Apparently, up to about 30 years ago, everyone knew Hoagy Carmichael did the original song and now everyone thinks it was Ray Charles. Set up as a orchestral piece, the original was done by all-star musicians like Gene Krupa, Tommy Dorsey and Bix Beiderbecke with Carmichael singing. Two pieces of trivia: Georgia On My Mind is the state song of Georgia (you probably knew that) and in Ian Fleming’s James Bond books, he is often said to look like Hoagy Carmichael.

WTF? I’ve never even heard of this song! Exactly. But I guarantee that you’ve heard of the more famous cover “Mickey” by Toni Basil. This song comes from their first (actually only) album Smash and Grab. They broke up and now there are two groups named Racey that you’ve never heard of.

Did you know Bobby McGee was a woman? It’s true. In fact when Fred Foster proposed the song idea to Kristofferson, the idea that Bobby McKee (the original last name) was female was the hook. The song has a certain association with death. The inspiration for the line “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose” was inspired by a death in the movie “La Strada” and Janis Joplin recorded her version just before her death. You may be familiar with Kristofferson’s version of the song but that wasn’t the original (surprise!). It was originally recorded by Roger Miller and covered three times before Kris recorded his version.

It’s our friends from the first list, songwriter Bertholt Brecht and music writer Kurt Weill. This song was written for the movie “The Threepenny Opera.” The lyrics were significantly changed and downplayed the murders and rape when translated for an American audience. In the film, the song is sung by Kurt Gerron but Lili… errr, Lotte Lenya had a part in the song development. She was performing “The Threepenny Opera” on Broadway when Louis Armstrong did his cover. She sat in the studio and Armstrong ad-libbed her name in the list of women admirers.

Any banjo players out there need to know that no banjo player can actually sing. I saw a documentary on it (my son is learning to be a bluegrass fiddler) and not one banjo player could carry a tune. The version by The Byrds was so melodic that this one will be hard to listen to. The notes Pete Seeger sings don’t seem to match the notes he is playing at all. The lyrics themselves are taken from the Bible’s Book of Ecclesiastes but I don’t think King Solomon got songwriting credits.

Assassin’s Creed was a game which showed great promise in the run up to its release. With stunning graphics and an apparent free world to explore the title looked certain to be a classic. Ultimately though the game was excruciatingly repetitive with just a handful of different things to do – like pickpocket someone or eavesdropping on a conversation, which were tiresomely repeated over and over again. This game was simply boring; I don’t know anyone who could play this game after the initial excitement which filled about half an hour.

The success of this game is a total mystery to me. It’s fun initially but why would someone buy more than one of these games? Is it because of the dreadful background graphics? Or maybe the terrible selection of music; especially from the third title ironically called ‘legends of rock.’ What sets this game out from many of the others on the list is that this game wasn’t even good. Even more repetitive then Assassin’s Creed, the only time I can remember enjoying playing this was while drunk at a party, probably had something to do with the beer.

Well, all GTA games after Grand Theft Auto III. The game play seems relatively unchanged since GTA III, and yes, newer titles have featured things like the ability to fly an airplane and the ability to get fat of a diet of burgers, but it’s mostly just stealing cars and shooting people. The missions are agonizingly boring and game time always descends into seeing how many stars you can get before being arrested or killed, a game which becomes very boring very quickly as you aimlessly drive around running people over for money.

GoW was arguably Xbox 360′s biggest selling point following its release. Yes, the game boasted the best graphics the 360 was capable of and the online play was apparently very good. But the campaign mode was boring! The levels are way too straight forward – all you have to do is follow a set path while killing enemies on the way. Because of this, the game play is very repetitive and you find yourself getting very bored easily. This game definitely isn’t as good as the 360 fanboys would have you believe.

This entry will probably cause the most arguments (see hilarious comments below), however as I stated before I don’t think this game is bad – it is in my opinion overrated, and the opinion of Gamespy who named it the seventh most overrated game of all time! I find the stories in these games have been without any ingenuity since Final Fantasy IX way back in the year 2000!

Back in the good old days of 1991, I remember so fondly, well I wasn’t born yet but apparently Sonic the Hedgehog made his debut appearance. Sonic was exactly what SEGA needed in response to the mega successful Mario. The first Sonic game was okay, but SEGA made a habit of ‘whoring’ Sonic out and producing title after title of pointless games. These games were ultimately too fast paced with lazy repetitive level designs which really were not entertaining.

Actually, any Call of Duty game! Now obviously the entire gaming world will disagree with me on this point but I don’t care! This game takes no skill whatsoever to exceed in. The campaign mode on this game was good, no arguments. But the online play was certainly overrated. After being bullied into buying it by my friends, I found it utterly unchallenging. Out of the people I know who played this the higher ranking players were simply the ones who had the game longer. An anecdote which illustrates this point brilliantly was made by my mate, who mentioned this elsewhere on some COD4 forum: he briefly left his seat to go answer the phone and when he came back he had two extra kills, he was using a skill called martyrdom. The fact that you can succeed at this game without actually playing it suggests that there is no skill involved at all!

The reason I added this to the list was because of the reaction my mates gave to the news of a remake. ‘OMFG a remake this is the best game ever.’ Correction WAS the best game ever (sort of). The reason I believe this game is overrated is because shooter games like this age terribly. There are much more recent shooter titles which also have aged terribly and certainly wouldn’t warrant a remake. It was a big mistake re-releasing this game. When reading this list before publishing two of my mates genuinely had no idea it was re-released.

This will surprise a lot of people. The reason I put this at number two, or on a list of overrated games at all, is because it simply doesn’t live up to the ridiculous hype it received. Don’t get me wrong it is a good game, much like Fallout (a game which missed this list by a fraction) but there is something very un-Elder Scrolls about Skyrim. It doesn’t play like its brilliant predecessors Oblivion and Morrowind. Skyrim has none of the quirky genius of the previous games and lacks the rich vibrant environment of Oblivion and Shivering Isles; the whole of Skyrim looks drab and generally moody. Skyrim reminded me of Fallout and not in a good way. The graphics were also very unimpressive, I know it’s a huge game and decent graphics would have added to the time taken to produce the game but, for PS3, it was on a bloody blu-ray disc! The Playstation 3 version had the potential for stunning graphics. Ultimately though, like much of the other games on this list, Skyrim very quickly becomes repetitive.

Maybe it’s because I grew up with a Playstation, then a Playstation 2, then a Playstation 3, but I have never understood why these games gained labels such as ‘best game ever made.’ From the few hours of snippets I got from various visits to friends with Halo, I found it extremely pointless. The story is totally unoriginal – a one man army hunts down and attempts to destroy a huge weapon called the ‘death star’ … I mean, err, ‘halo’ which is capable of destroying whole planets! We haven’t followed that storyline a hundred times before! Halo had one of the worst level designs I have ever seen; every room looked exactly the same, not to mention the most irritating bad guys in video game history. It sickens me that people would consider this game the best FPS ever with games like Half Life knocking around.

For this infamous blood-sucker, you’ll need white face paint, a set of fake vampire teeth, a comb, and a button-down shirt. A tuxedo is optional. First, you should gently put the face paint on your cheeks, chin, nose, and forehead. Get none in your mouth, eyes or nose. Because Dracula is seen as civilized, put gel in your hair and comb it backwards, like Bela Lugosi’s Dracula. Then, put on the tuxedo/button-down shirt, to further convey the image of a groomed person. Finally, put on the vampire teeth.

This is a bit hard, but nevertheless can be done in about five minutes. You will need blue or green face paint, a stick (make sure not to poke your eye out!), a pillow, and a shirt that looks somewhat like what a medieval villager might wear (that’s the hard part). The shirt should look somewhat like the sepia shirt Shrek wore. Start by putting on the shirt. Rub the face paint on your forehead, chin, cheeks, and nose. Make sure none gets in your mouth, eyes or nose. Next, put the pillow under your shirt. Ruffle your hair, to make you look more barbaric. Finally, wield the stick (act like it’s a club).

Get an old long-sleeved blue shirt you don’t care about (it can’t have any writing on it), a red sheet you don’t care about, and a computer connected to a printer or a piece of paper with the Superman shield on it. Cut out the Superman shield or print it before cutting it out. Cut a hole big enough for your head to fit through in the red sheet. Tape the shield to the shirt, and then cut the sheet so it looks like a cape. Put on the cape.

This one is especially easy. All you need is a purple sheet that’s large enough to cover you that you don’t care about, and scissors. Cut two holes for your eyes in the sheet, and get in. When using, do not crawl like the Blob. Make sure you do not trip in the costume.

You will need a green wig, white, black and green face paint, and a purple suit and green pants. Put on the garments. Apply the red to the area around your lips, the black around your eyes, and the white to the majority of your face. Put on the green wig. Remember to act evil.

Find some tattered clothes some red face paint. Put on the clothes, and put little lines of red face paint on your chin and around your mouth, but make it look as realistic as possible. Mess up your hair so you look as unruly as possible. Lean your head forward and droop your arms forward. Glare at anyone who passes by you.

This one is easy. All you’ll need is a few Monopoly $500 bills, a suit, a comb, a button-down shirt, a tie, and elegant shoes. Part your hair on the right side of your head. Put on the button-down shirt, and continue with the tie. Put on the suit, and stuff the Monopoly money in your pockets. If you can, get a wacky tie. When someone gives you a small amount of candy, offer them a Monopoly bill and say confidently, “I’d like some more.”

For this ghoul, you’ll need an old button-down shirt you do not care about, black gloves, fake blood, and black pants. A fake knife is optional. Unbutton two or three buttons to make a hole large enough for your head. Put on black gloves and black pants before putting on the shirt. If you are right-handed, hold your “decapitated” head in your left hand and your sword in your right. You might want to put a fake circle of blood around the bottom of your head to make you look even more decapitated. Remember to stay safe while wearing this!

The most basic type of Halloween costumes is probably the ghost. For this one, you’ll need a white bed sheet you don’t care about and some scissors. Cut off a small amount from the bottom so the sheet is not dragging on the ground and you’re not tripping on it. Cut two holes for the eyes.

And finally, we come to the mummy. All that is needed is about three rolls of toilet paper. Green face paint is optional. First, cover what ever part of your face that is not being covered with toilet paper (The best place is the eyes, for which you should paint around the eyes) with green face paint. Cover your body from head to toe in toilet paper. You should have shorts and short sleeved shirts on as to not peek out of the toilet paper. After you are done, put on sandals.

Although early jazz artists created short music-film performances of their songs, and Elvis filmed unique settings of his songs that were parts of movies, the Beatles were the pioneers of marrying the two ideas into the concept we now know as the music video – a short, stand-alone film of a musical act presenting a current song that may or not be a live performance. The idea came to the Beatles as a way to ease their ridiculously tight schedule – instead of the band having to make tons of public appearances on TV shows around the world, they could send a video of themselves instead. The first dedicated music video was for the single “Paperback Writer/Rain” in 1966.

Prior to 1966, popular musical acts went into the recording studio in order to create a stack of singles. These singles were first released individually by the record company, and then again in a few months as part of a long-playing album. Typically, the band had no input as to which songs went on the album, which order they were presented, or what was used as the cover art – these were all decisions made independent of the band by the record company. However, with the invaluable guidance of their producer, George Martin, the Beatles released the industry’s first concept album, “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.” The idea behind “Sgt. Pepper” was that the Beatles were playing the part of another band giving a concert in the park, and all of the songs on the album were part of that outdoor affair. None of the songs on that album were initially released as singles – the first time the public heard any part of “Sgt. Pepper” was when the entire album was released in June, 1967.

Although the Beatles were highly successful in selling out their early concerts in 1963, 1964, and 1965, they were only playing shows booked in auditoriums, theaters, and amphitheaters that seated anywhere between 1000 and 10,000 ticket-holders. When manager Brian Epstein initially booked the Beatles to play a concert in New York’s Shea Stadium in August, 1965, the idea was considered almost too absurd to consider. However, the tickets sold out within hours (priced between $4.50 and $5.75), and over 55,000 berserk, screaming fans (mostly teenage girls) packed Shea Stadium for the first-ever stadium rock concert. The Beatles only played 30 minutes, the fans were not allowed onto the infield where the stage was located, and the stadium’s sound system was atrocious for a musical concert, but the night’s gross was over $300,000, which stood as an industry record for many years.

This was one of those magnificent ideas where everybody learned more from Beatle mistakes than Beatle successes. In 1966, the Beatles’ recording contract with EMI Records expired, and they re-entered into a 9-year contract with EMI in 1967. The next year, the Beatles decided to form their own record company, Apple Records, and discovered that EMI was not willing to release them. In a complicated series of confusing maneuvers, the Beatles remained with EMI, but signed a separate agreement between EMI’s American subsidiary, Capitol Records, and Apple. The result was that American releases contained the Apple label while British releases did not (at first). In addition to this mess, the Beatles legally hired two different business managers (American Allen Klein and Paul’s new father-in-law Lee Eastman) at Apple, and all contracts between Apple, EMI, and Capitol were revised. Hilarity and lawsuits soon followed, and the Beatles painfully set the standard for what NOT to do when forming your own record company.

Although the Beatles did not invent satellite television, they were the highlighted subject of the first ever live global satellite television broadcast in June, 1967. The TV program was called “Our World,” and it featured the contributions of artists and citizens of 19 different nations. Using four different orbiting satellites, the program was able to be broadcast live to anyone interested in receiving the signal anywhere in the world, and the Beatles performed an in-studio live version of “All You Need Is Love,” which was specially written by John for the broadcast, to close out the program.

Although many different musical acts hold variously scattered chart-topping marketing successes, no specific artist has ever come close to the nearly inexplicable global phenomenon the Beatles enjoyed in the Spring of 1964. On March 21, the Beatles held #1, #2, and #3 in Billboard’s Hot 100 (for a total of seven songs in that week’s poll). On March 28, they held #1, #2, #3, and #4 (ten songs in all) in that week’s Billboard Hot 100. On April 4, they staggeringly held #1, #2, #3, #4, AND #5 (for a total of twelve songs) in the Billboard Hot 100. On April 11, the Beatles added two more songs to the Billboard Hot 100 (fourteen in all). During this same time frame, they were also snagging most of the album and singles Top Ten lists in the UK, Canada, and Australia.

This item could almost be a separate list in and of itself. The Beatles (and their recording engineers) either pioneered or popularized Artificial Double Tracking (ADT), back masking, tuned feedback, spliced audio loops, distortion, equalization, stereo effects, multi-tracking (overdubbing), compression, phase shifting, and innovative “microphoning.” Although the Beatles are not credited with the invention of most of these studio tricks, they were responsible for directly inspiring countless musical acts that were desperate to copy their unique sounds.

The first pop album to feature actual printed lyrics on the album was the Beatles’ 1967 epic release “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.” Soon, it would be considered non-standard to not do so.

The typical music industry standard recording contract of the 1960s required a band to record and release enough singles for a company to release at least one album per year, and the Beatles went way above and beyond the call of duty (they released two albums per year in every year with EMI Records except 1966). Another aspect of the standard recording contract required a band to give a prescribed number of public concerts as a highly effective means to promote and sell the band’s singles and albums. However, in August, 1966, at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, the Beatles played their last public concert after over six years of extended touring. The decision for the Beatles (or any band, for that matter) to end touring was a breathtakingly landmark decision, and theirs was based on multiple factors, such as exhaustion, inability to perform newest songs in a live format, inability to hear themselves onstage, wandering musical focus, safety concerns following death threats and boycotts, and boredom. The Beatles would only make one more public musical appearance, and it would come in January, 1969 in the form of an impromptu semi-private concert on the rooftop of their London studios.

By 1968, the American radio dial preferred to have music on AM and talk radio on FM, and most AM stations played music in a three-minute single format. This meant that any singles significantly longer or shorter than three minutes were ignored by AM stations, because it would wreck their repetitive hourly format to play it. When the Beatles released “Hey Jude” as a single in August, 1968, it was nearly 7 1/2 minutes long, and AM stations simply chopped off the song at the 3:00 mark, which denied listeners the chance to hear their favorite part – “Na na na nanananaaa.” At KSAN-FM in San Francisco, radio pioneer Tom Donahue used the promise of a whole “Hey Jude” single coupled with other innovative ideas (commercial-free blocks of music, playing whole album sides at a time, etc.) as a means to lure listeners away from local AM stations to his uniquely programmed FM station, and the idea eventually snowballed across the country. Within ten years, American radio stations had almost completely switched places, and put music on FM and talk radio on AM.

Don’t be fooled. Off the public stage, some of the cutest animals you know have habits worse than your college roommate.

People have been known to use some strange ingredients in perfumes and colognes, but goat urine isn’t one of them. Mr. Billy Goat Gruff, however, begs to differ on the subject of how sexy his pee smells.

In C. Dwyer’s hints on Sheep and Goat Behavior, published by the Centre for Agriculture and Biosciences International, you can learn how they will spray themselves lavishly over their faces, stomachs and forelegs prior to mating.

He speculates that, “Male goats urinate on to their bellies, legs and beards where the scent may serve to advertise their dominance status.” Or maybe they just like the smell? So if you see a goat doing this, don’t think it’s crazy. It’s just getting in the mood.

In fact, male goats are just urine mad. They love the smell and taste of nanny goat pee too. The handy Goat Handbook, written by Ulrich Jaudus and Seyedmehdi Mobini, tells us “If she is in heat she will tolerate the rather rough caresses of the male. He smells or tastes her urine…” This may be a way of telling if the female is fertile. Or male goats could just be kinky.

Mountain goats have a pretty good life. Lots of fresh air, plenty of grass to eat and clear streams to drink from. Their diet lacks only one thing: salt. So if a mountain goat finds a reliable source of salt they will go crazy over it. Like cattle, they will seek out and lick any rock or piece of ground that’s a little salty.

Unfortunately for mountain hikers, human urine contains just the kind of tasty salt they’re after. Goats are pretty smart too, so once they learn that people pee tastes good, they will stake out campsites and stalk men who appear to be stopping and opening their flies.

Attacks, where the goat gores the victim with its horns, are not unknown. The Olympic National Park in the US even has an action plan: “Most notable are the many areas where mountain goats are habituated to human presence have also become conditioned to seeking salts from humans. They can be a nuisance along trails and around wilderness campsites where they will persistently seek salt and minerals from human urine, packs and sweat on clothing. They will often paw and dig areas on the ground where hikers have urinated or disposed of cooking wastewater and chew unattended clothing.” No, those goats are not just being friendly.

Let’s move on from urine – to poop. Sloths are among the most harmless and slow animals, too slow to eat anything much except very bland and boring vegetation. But two-toed sloths have added a new and tasty item to their diet: human excrement.

Biologists working at the Estacion Biologica Quebrada Blanco research site in Peru have recorded 25 separate incidents of these sloths descending from trees at night in order to feed from the latrines.

The scientists are confused as to exactly why the sloths have adopted this behavior, although it’s true that, like all poop, human poop still contains some nutrition. The other big plus point for the sluggish sloth is that it lies very, very still.

Okay, we all know that real hippos are a far cry from the lovable, cuddly, smiley toys we had as children, and that in fact they’re ruthless killers. People who know lots of useless information will happily tell you that hippos kill more people than sharks, tigers, crocodiles, or many other supposedly more dangerous animals.

This is all true, but another thing to bear in mind is that, if a male hippo backs out of the water towards you, you might want to take cover. They have rotor-mixer tails that can, and definitely will, spray their poop as far and wide as they’re able.

Why do they do it? Well, it’s a bit like a bird singing to let other birds know it’s available. Only not so pleasant.

When your diet consists of fish, fish, and a bit more fish, the sensible bird tries to get the heck as far away from its droppings as it can. Adele Penguins achieve this by ejecting their poop explosively. There’s even a picture in case you had difficultly imagining that such a cute little bird could do something so disgusting.

Researchers Victor. B. Meyer-Rochow and Jozsef Gal believe the birds do it to avoid soiling their plumage. Like good scientists, they also address the wider question of whether the birds care which direction they poop. “The forces involved, lying well above those known for humans, are high, but do not lead to an energetically wasteful turbulent flow. Whether a bird chooses the direction into which it decides to expel its faeces, and what role the wind plays in this, remain unknown.”

Capybaras are the largest rodents in the world, and equally cute to boot. They live in dense forests and savannas in South America, always near large bodies of water. They eat grass, bark, aquatic plants and fruit, and they love their food so much, they want to eat it twice. Yes, capybara are incorrigible poop-eaters.

They are discerning about their poop diet, though. They produce two types of poop. The soft, green excrement still has some nutrition and is good to go. The harder, darker kind ranks quite low on the capybara poop tastiness scale and gets left to rot.

Capybaras aren’t the only members of the Feces-Appreciation Society, though. Several other related animals believe poop to be haute cuisine, not least of which is the humble, gentle sweet-natured rabbit. Thumper may have taught Bambi a trick or two, but let’s be thankful he wasn’t in charge of getting dinner ready. While capybaras will only eat the right kind of poop, rabbits will eat whatever kind of poop appears from their rear-ends.

Like capybaras, they produce hard and soft poop. Unlike capybaras, during the daytime they will eat the hard poop too. Hirofumi Hirakawa published this finding in Mammal Biology in 2001. Rabbits could be eating the hard poop because there’s still a little nutrition to be got out of it. Or it could be just because they like the taste.

Elephants are mostly famous for being adorable. Who couldn’t love their huge, floppy ears, stubby legs and wriggly trunks? If you want to maintain this image of elephants, do not watch the clip above, or read any further. No, that apparently is not a bizarre sexual ritual, that is one elephant taking the most direct method of getting another elephant’s poop to eat. Why he is doing this is between him and his psychiatrist.

Tortoises are the sweet old gentlemen of the pet world. With their slow-moving gait and wrinkly faces you might think they’re easy prey out in the wild. But in fact tortoises are expert desert survivalists. And they have a hidden weapon in case things get extra tough.

The defensive item in their survival pack is their bladder, which, for a beast its size, is massive. A desert tortoise can hold over forty per cent of its body weight in its bladder, according to the U.S. Nevada Fish and Wildlife Office. The tortoise stores water against times of drought, as well as urea, uric acid, and nitrogenous wastes.

If the tortoise is attacked, it proceeds to unleash the power of its pee all over its attacker. It will also do this if it feels under threat. For instance, from a passing human. You have been warned.

Australian wildlife is out to get you. That’s a well-known fact. Sharks, snakes, spiders, poisonous jellyfish and saltwater crocodiles all live there and they all, every single one of them, have one common purpose – to kill you. Even kangaroos will beat you up and rip you open.

The one famous exception to this rule is the koala. It’s soft and furry. It’s mild-mannered. It clings to trees like an over-sized, big-nosed, hairy baby. When it’s awake it’s a harmless vegetarian, munching nothing but eucalyptus leaves. But most of the time it’s passed out, sleeping off the effects of its nearly indigestible diet.

And of course if adult koalas are cute, baby koalas are cute times ten. Not only are they as soft, furry, slow and sweet as their moms, they come in mini-size! Ever wondered just exactly what baby koalas eat, though? Those leaves look pretty tough for a tiny tummy, right?

The truth is, baby koalas harbor a terrible secret. When they’re too big to drink momma’s milk anymore, and they have to transition to their leafy diet, they can’t do it all by themselves. They don’t have the right bacteria in their gut.

So where do they get those bacteria? Well, there happens to be a source very close at hand. Momma. But how do you get bacteria from one gut to another? A sweet little peck on the lips? Maybe, yeuchhh, eating their mom’s vomit? No, sorry, it’s worse than you think.

Koala babies wean themselves by licking a specialized feces from their mother’s anus. Keith Minchin, koala farm owner and author of Weaning of Young Koalas reported in 1939: The baby was forcing its nose into the mother’s cloaca [and] energetically eating the substance from [her] rectum.

So if you ever get the chance to cuddle one those sweet little babies, you might not want to get too close to its mouth.