Life in the Shadows

Look At This Duck

2009-08-05T03:46:00.000-04:00

Thought this was really funny just now. We'll see in a day or two.

Sony Bravia Advertising Campaign

2009-07-23T04:12:00.001-04:00

Recently I came across another great advertising campaign. I'm not sure why I enjoy advertising so much, especially since I hate literally 90% of commercials out there. And usually if I like a commercial, it's because it was funny and maybe had nothing to do with the product being sold. Rarely do I enjoy a commercial that tries to be serious or "artsy." Sony Bravia somehow made this work.

I've thought a bit about why it works, and I'm still not entirely sure. I have no background in psychology or advertising, but there's probably some theory or popular template and these commercials follow or something.

I do know that I like the "improv everywhere" sort of feel to them. They take a place that is ordinary and familiar and do something extraordinary with it. It's like they play off our desire for things to be new and exciting. Like when you're a kid and everything you learn is amazing and entertaining, but somehow we get old and forget how to play. That's seriously what these commercials feel like.

Anyways, enough babbling, enjoy a few rare memorable commercials. I've only embedded three of my favorites, although there are a few more. The bouncy ball one is the best. I swear miles of rolling hills and thousands of bouncy balls would be like heaven to me. Great song choices in these too, by the way.

New York with Clay Bunnies

Glasgow with Paint

San Francisco with Bouncing Balls

More Sony Bravia Commercials and Behind the Scenes Stuff:

India with Dominoes

Pyramids with Spools

The Making of Bouncy Balls

The Making of Glasgow Paint

The Making of Clay Bunnies

The Top Ten Recut Movie Trailers

2009-07-09T07:36:00.000-04:00

Now here's a top ten list I've been meaning to do for a long while. I've put together what I believe are the top ten recut movie trailers. There are many to choose from and it was difficult to sift through them all, but in the end, I'm happy with this list. Most recuts out there would fall within the bottom three of this list. So, if you only have time to look at a few of these, make sure you spend your time in the top five. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

10) Sleepless in Seattle: Horror Recut

This recut is one of many that takes the obvious route of turning a comedy into a horror movie. The reason it actually cracks the list, is because the editing is fairly well done and it isn't just a jumbled mess of clips set to scary music (like many similar recuts).

9) Office Space: Thriller Recut

Number nine on the list takes the same idea a bit further, with more of an arc to the trailer. This one is better because everyone is so familiar with the scenes in Office Space (no seriously, everyone). That makes it better when you see them out of context. I really hate that I had to spell that out for you.

8) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: Drug Baron Recut

This trailer gets bonus points for being creative in its choice of genre. Instead of taking the obvious route of turning a family movie into a horror flick, this recut makes Wonka out to be a drug lord. The results are fantastical.

7) Jaws: Love Story Recut

This recut is titled, "Must Love Jaws." It is one of the best horror turned love story recuts (second only to #2 on this list). Great choice of music in this recut. At first I didn't like the ridiculous ending to this trailer, but the second time I watched it, I found it hilarious.

6) The Dark Knight - Toy Story 2: Trailer Mashup Recut

This next trailer is actually one of my favorites, even though it's toward the middle of the list. Some genius took the audio from The Dark Knight trailer and set it to scenes from Toy Story 2 (and at least one scene from the first Toy Story, but still). The mashup comes together perfectly. In case you need it, here is the original Batman trailer:

And then the mashup:

The next three trailers are pretty much a tie. Whoever came up with this concept first deserves the most credit, but I have no way of figuring that out. The hilarious idea is to take a random movie and set it to the theme from Brokeback Mountain. I know, you're already laughing. It is that funny. There are enough of these trailers out there to make a separate top ten list, but these three are best. Ladies and gentlemen: The Brokebacks.

5) The Brokeback Redemption

4) Planes Trains and Automobiles: Brokeback Recut

3) Brokeback to the Future

The last two recut trailers on this list are in a league of their own. They were both among the first recuts ever made, which gives them bonus points. They are also the epitome of turning horror into comedy and vice versa. These are the two that every other recut is trying to equal. But they can't.

2) Shining

1) Scary Mary

Well, that about does it. If you enjoyed those, feel free to look for more. There are tons out there. For more recut trailers click the link below. Add your favorites to the comment section. Or leave a comment just for fun. It'll encourage me to actually blog again.

More Recut Trailers

Steve Porter's "Press Hop"

2009-06-29T05:44:00.000-04:00

Steve Porter put out a new mix and it's just as awesome as the last two. In this one he mixes up some press conference interviews. Mostly Iverson and some Mora, and a few randoms thrown in. Anyways, it's awesome and anything including Mora's "Playoffs?" quote is worth watching.

If you like coach tirades (including the 3 featured in this video), take the time to check out a top ten list:

Real Clear Sports Top Ten Tirades

And here's a link to Porter's "Jam Wow" and "Rap Chop:"

Link

The Best and Worst of Local Television Commercials

2009-06-12T04:31:00.000-04:00

With the dawn of television, the commercial became the most effective advertising tool known to man (based on a recent study at Harvard). Absurd amounts of money and resources began to flow into advertising. Ad wars exploded between fast food chains, beer companies, car manufacturers, soda pop makers, and whatever category Nike and Reebok fit into. We were a nation of consumers glued to our couches and there was only one way to get us to buy.

During this commercial boom era, something slowly and magnificently began to emerge from the shadows. An art form sprang forth, understood only by those with the tightest of budgets. It was the local television commercial.

Barely equipped with their shoe-string budgets, local businesses decided to join the battle for America's attention. Armed with nothing but a lively personality, local business achieved some of the greatest feats in advertising history. Today, we will look at just a small sample of the greatness that is the local television commercial. Hopefully at the end of these Magnificent Seven, you will grow to appreciate this tidbit of Americana.

Don's Guns: Indianapolis, IN
"And remember folks- I don't wanna make any money, I just love to sell guns."

Since I live in Indianapolis, I thought it would be fitting to begin with this city's greatest local commercial advertiser. The man, the legend: Don Davis. Anyone who grew up in Indy knows who Don is. There's an image implanted in my brain of Don Davis shooting me with his finger and laughing that creepy laugh of his. Here's an image ripped from the front page of his web site:

That there pretty much says it all.

Unfortunately, the internet fails when it comes to providing quality Don's Guns commercials. However, I did find two. This first one is pretty standard for Don's commercials. Here, he's offering up gun rentals:

This next video takes us back a few decades. This one is more in line with the average local commercial. Trying to be funny and gimmicky at the same time. I love the brilliant "old man" joke in this commercial. It's an old man joke, because all old men have a grab bag full of these kinds of jokes and they're only funny if an old man says it. Props to a younger Don for trying to pull this one off:

Did you notice the marquee scroll across the top of the commercial? "Don's Guns...voted WORST LOCAL TV COMMERCIAL...Indianapolis Magazine- 1984 and 1985..." Got to love a guy who proudly displays that within his commercial. (I tried to confirm that statement, with no luck.)

For what it's worth, I did consider Watson's in the running here ("That's Watson's!"). I also thought of Bob Rohrman ("Bob Roooooooarman") and Blossom Chevrolet ("Lordy, they're good people). I just think Don's got them beat pretty solidly.

Having dealt with my own local TV commercial giant, it's time to take a gander at what the rest of this country has to offer.

These next couple videos represent what I think is the bread and butter for local television commercials. It's the typical commercial that tries to use humor to sell a product. After viewing, you and your friends sit in silence for a minute before looking at each other and cracking up.

Pizza-N-Go: Lawrenceville, PA
This first one takes a simple formula: Show your staple product in the background. Then add something ridiculous in the foreground that people will laugh at. It's nonsensical and out of place for the product. Humor sells, but you'd better be sure that what you're doing is humorous before placing all your eggs in that basket.

So here we have a white guy dancing and not-quite rapping and somehow this is supposed to make you want to eat a pizza. It's great as far as local commercials go, but can't be doing much for product recognition:

Georgia Car Credit: Moultrie, GA
The folks at Georgia Car Credit took things a little further. They were able to tie in their "humor" with the product. In this commercial you have a white person acting like a pimp who gives credit to the masses. He is aptly dubbed the "Credit MacDaddy." It's one of many attempts by white America to adopt the "hip-hop" culture, in a playful way. It's "funny" because white people can't rap or dance. It gets approved by upper management, because older white people think it's really funny when white people act and speak in ways that they think are "ghetto."

There's something terribly wrong watching the whitest of white folk act this way. Even when they're blatantly trying to be funny. That almost makes it worse. Anyways, it makes for a great local commercial that I'm sure everyone in Georgia just loves. They even throw in some slapstick humor with the ol' pie-in-the-face gag:

This next video epitomizes everything that a local commercial should be. They use what I call the Four Basic Building Blocks for Local Television Commercial Success:
1) In-house actors
2) Catchy music
3) Memorable Quote
4) Humor

If you throw those four factors into any local commercial, you will have guaranteed success. However, this next video also includes the elusive "Fifth Factor" that takes a good local commercial and turns it into something special. See if you can find what it is.

The Red House: High Point, NC
Rather than take the all too obvious gimmick of white people acting black, the folks at the Red House take the higher road. We've come a long way in this country and it's time to realize that we're all a part of the same culture. The Red House asks the question, "Can't we all just get along?" and answers with an emphatic, "WE CAN!"

Let's run through our Four Basics as applied to this commercial.

1) In-house Actors. Check! With Bighead and Ten Gauge stealing the show, this commercial is chock-full of in-house talent. The best part is they can't act worth a lick and are often seen reading their lines. All two of them.

2) Catchy Music. Check! Come on, admit it. You're already singing "At the Reeeed House..." over and over in your head. Nice harmony by white guys in ties. They even pay homage to the Wurlitzer with the digitized background theme.

3) Memorable Quote. Check plus! "Where black people and white people by furniture." Ooops! "...and Hispanic people too." Oh, that's just beautiful.

4) Humor. Check! Nothing's funnier than seeing people spell out the obvious. "I'm black. And I love the Red House." "I'm white..." That's just funny. And having a large black man jump into sofa saying, "Look at this sofa, it's perfect for a black person," is just gold.

So, did you catch what the Fifth Factor is? I hope so. It's crucial to a great commercial and it's what separates this one from the two prior. The Fifth Factor is created when the audience can't tell if you're being funny on purpose or not. I really want to think that the folks at the Red House knew how funny this commercial was going to be when they made it. But I can't help wonder if they were taking this seriously. That's what makes it so perfect.

I'm not sure if you can intentionally create this Fifth Factor. As soon as you start thinking that people are laughing with you and not at you, then you've lost. But then when people do laugh at you, they are really just laughing with you in the end, but you can't know that when you start. It's a very difficult concept to wrap your head around.

Let's see if we can figure it out with another commercial.

TDM Auto Sales: High Point, NC
This next commercial is popular enough that you may have already seen it. Yes that's right. It's the Cuban Gynecologist turned American Auto Salesman:

See how well the Fifth Factor works here? They don't even have a catchy tune (although there is music). Now this is obviously meant to be funny. The key here though is that this guy doesn't really understand why what he's doing is funny. It makes for a great local commercial.

I'm sure the guys who made it had a ton of fun doing it. Oh, how about that? Here's a behind the scenes video from the guys who made that commercial. Watching Rudy in this video is probably even funnier than the commercial.

Side note: If you're paying attention, you will have noticed that two of the greatest local commercials in this country come from High Point, North Carolina. That's impressive and almost makes it worth moving there.

Okay, so we've seen what it takes to build a good local TV commercial and taken a peek at some of the best in the business. Now it's time to see a few epic failures. These videos are similar in their failures, but they get there in totally different ways. The first video fails in concept.

Golden Gate Funeral Home
"Where service begins, and never ends."

Now, some people may argue with me and I can see where they may have a point. When your business is funeral homes, it's probably tough to come up with a good way to sell your product. The fine folks at Golden Gate decided to use the Four Basic Building Blocks... and failed. This is because in order to use humor, you have to be conscious of your product. You have to be careful when dealing with death and I'm not sure they pulled it off. I don't know, I guess it was funny enough for me to post here, but this just seems wrong. Hilariously wrong.

Well, we've come to the end of our exploration of local TV commercials. Appropriately, I've saved the worst (making it the best?) for last. This next video fails on almost every level possible. It's so atrocious, I can't even give it a proper introduction.

Fred and Sharon's Movie Productions: ????
That's right, I'm not sure where this commercial first aired. Possibly over the internet. To be fair, I think they're from BC, Canada. Leave it to the Canadians to take awesome American things and ruin them. They've taken local commercial quality and thrown it out into the netherworld. If you're trying to sell a product, this commercial should be a good learning tool. Just do everything exactly the opposite. It really is bad. It's fitting that it should end our list:

Links:

Don's Guns
Fred and Sharon's Movie Productions
TDM Auto Sales
Golden Gate Funeral Home
Red House
Pick up your Red House T-Shirt here: Link

Steve Porter's "Jam Wow" and "Rap Chop"

2009-05-21T20:52:00.000-04:00

So I just came across DJ Steve Porter's Sham Wow and Slap Chop remixes. Needless to say, I was impressed and entertained, so I thought I'd share.

The first video is the "Jam Wow;" a remix of the Sham Wow commercials. This one is great if for no other reason than it features Carlton and some classic Kid n Play. Although, I was really disappointed that something was missing from the video. I'll leave it up to you to figure it out.

"Jam Wow"

The next one is "Rap Chop;" a remix of the Slap Chop commercials. This one is seriously amazing. I'm not even joking. I would love to be able to make this stuff. This song will get stuck in your head and I almost guarantee you'll watch it more than once.

"Rap Chop"

Thank you Steve Porter.

Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat

2009-04-06T14:45:00.003-04:00

I know I haven't done a real post in a while, and today will be more of the same. Just came across this Keyboard Cat, and it's cracking me up. It meshes some of our favorite fail videos with a keyboard cat. Awesome. The tune has been in my head since I first saw these over the weekend. It's weird at first, but you'll get the idea. So funny. I'm listing all the ones I laughed at. Hopefully there will be more in the next few weeks. Enjoy!

And here's the original video just for kicks:

Where the Wild Things Are Trailer

2009-03-26T09:36:00.004-04:00

I sure hope this movie doesn't disappoint.

Sleepwalking Dog

2009-03-04T18:36:00.001-05:00

Haaahahahahaha! Ha.

Another Disappointing Playoff Run for the Colts in 2008, and Dungy Should Retire?

2009-01-05T05:27:00.001-05:00

Part I: Another Disappointing Playoff Run

Well, I'm far enough removed from the stupid playoff opener between the Colts and Chargers to be able to talk about it now. Mostly I just want to write something here, so I can look back years later when we win another Super Bowl (knock), and remember how depressing this was.

I really thought the Colts had a good chance to win it all this year, dangit. They were playing so well. But sure enough, the Chargers came in and ruined things again. Chargers, Patriots, Steelers. Seems like every year (except one), these three teams have our number. I really hate the Chargers now. Can't stand them. Actually, I mostly just hate Rivers and Merriman (even when he's not playing). Oh well, congrats to them.

As far as the game goes. The Colts defense actually played a pretty good game against a tough offense, until the last drive of regulation and that retarded opening drive in OT. I mean seriously, you let them convert 3rd and 11 in overtime in the playoffs while on the road?!?! Come on!! But, other than not having a great running game, not being able to stop Sproles, and losing a coin flip, there are two major reasons we lost this game.

The first one was the Chargers punter, Scifres. The man was ridiculous. All 17 of their points came when he pinned the Colts down around the 5 yard line. All three of those stupid punts led to short fields for the Chargers, which turned into 17 points. The Colts had to go like 80 and 90 yards for their scores (haven't checked my facts there, but it seems like it). And that last punt of his in the 4th quarter somehow stopped on a dime and didn't get into the end zone. Ridiculous. Which leads to the other reason we lost.

Two nice runs on our last possession give us a 3rd and 2 around the 9 yard line. Get this first down and we win the game. Who in the world decided it was a good idea to EMPTY THE BACKFIELD and shotgun the stupid football? Gee, I wonder if we're gonna pass the ball? Usually, you can second guess decisions and say "well, if it worked, nobody would be saying anything." I'm sorry, but even if it worked, that was a stupid stupid decision. And of course it didn't work. We get sacked for a loss and a tired defense has to return for the next two possessions, which lead to 9 points and another playoff loss. Ahh, makes me sick.

So, another season comes and goes and another talented team is left saying, "maybe next year." I hate it.

Part II: Dungy Should Retire?

This will probably be Dungy's last year. Kravitz is already calling for his retirement (see here). I actually tend to agree with Kravitz on most of his articles, even though he often seems to write controversial stories just to generate buzz and bring traffic to IndyStar. In this case though, he's an idiot.

I'm sorry, but you cannot blame these playoff losses on the coach. Here's an interesting quote from the article:

Right now, angry, frustrated Colts fans want a spittle-spewing, butt-chewing SOB who will inspire this team to play as well in the playoffs as it does in the regular season -- and I don't blame them. They don't want soft-spoken. They don't want even-keel.

Really? If you're one of those fans, then let me be one of the first to tell you that you are an idiot. You really think this group of Colts veterans needs someone to inspire them to play well in the playoffs? That's just dumb. Dungy has been and is a great coach. The toughest thing for a coach to do is get his team to the playoffs. After that, it's up to the players to perform. Any man who needs a coach to spit in his face so that he'll play his best when it matters most is never going to be in the playoffs anyway.

And the Colts did not play this game any worse than any other game this year. This whole season we didn't have a great running game, we struggled to stop the run and were suspect on special teams. Same thing this game. When we played San Diego in the regular season, it came down to a last second field goal. So, to anyone who's paying attention, this team did "play as well in the playoffs as it did in the regular season." Our offense couldn't convert a 3rd and 2, and that means Dungy should be replaced by a "butt-chewing SOB." Yeah, that's brilliant.

Of course if Dungy called that last offensive play, then maybe Kravitz is right.

Dungy will probably retire, and he probably should, but not because the Colts lost in their first game of the playoffs yet again. This game had nothing to do with Dungy's ability to inspire players when it really matters. Anyone saying otherwise is either super frustrated and just looking for answers, or an idiot sports columnist looking for headlines.

Speedo Guy

2008-11-21T04:54:00.002-05:00

Yeah, this is about four years old, but for some reason I had missed it. Maybe you did too.

First, just watch this video and see if you notice anything out of the ordinary.

Wow. Dude missed back to back free throws in a big game. That is a bit odd. Perhaps you noticed why? If you missed it, go back and look again.

What you are witnessing is the emergence of Speedo Guy. You may not have heard of him, but you won't forget him. He took the Duke/UNC rivalry to a whole new level.

This next video is a little story they did on Speedo Guy. It's awesome. He sounds like someone who would instantly be my friend. Kind of reminds me of a few other friends I have. Happy Friday!

The Sock Conspiracy

2008-11-14T03:33:00.001-05:00

I'm walking down the street and a tall, lanky man strides into my view. As he approaches, I notice an oddly familiar pep in his step. The toothy grin on his face is infectious and I think to myself, "That is one happy man." He turns and winks at me. Suddenly, I understand. "You're wearing new socks," I say, as a matter of fact. "Mmm, hmmm..." he sings back at me, and he whistles on his merry way.

Ahhhh... There are few things more pleasurable than slipping on a warm pair of brand new socks. Something about the smooth way they hug your feet is darn near unbeatable. It's a proven fact that if you wear new socks, you will have a good day. Actually, I do believe Barack Obama was wearing new socks last Tuesday.

Here is a picture of Obama on Monday, where he was wearing old socks, but the mere thought of the new socks he would wear the next day brought a slight smile to his face.

And then here he is on Tuesday, with his brand new socks on.

But, alas. Like all of the most wonderful things in this world, that new sock feeling is a fleeting one. After that first day, your new socks begin to lose their luster. Suddenly, they don't hug as tight or look so bright. Your feet feel neglected and your heart is as empty as an old-worn-out sock.

You know what is incredible? We have gotten to the point where we can control things with our mind. It's true. We can wire our brains to computers and use technology to move things around. If you haven't seen it, take the time to watch this CBS Brain Power Video. (Hat tip to Joel for the link)

But what good is technology if we can't make socks that stay glorious for more than one day? Honestly, why hasn't this happened? It seems simple compared with hooking computers to our brains. We should have easily figured it out by now.

I'll tell you why it doesn't exist. Here's a little clue:

That's right, it's a damn Sock Conspiracy!! Nobody ever thinks about it, because it's just a sock. But it could be so much more. The sock making companies know this. They also know that if they developed this technology, nobody would buy new socks anymore. That's why Willy Wonka isn't real. The fat cats who make candy would never really want an "everlasting" gobstopper.

If that doesn't get your blood boiling, think about this. Have you ever wondered why socks are shaped the way they are? You probably thought it was because your foot kind of looks like that. Well, you're wrong. Sock companies make socks a certain way, so that you'll be inclined to put it on your foot at the exact same place every time. Why is this? Obviously, everybody knows that the heel of the sock gets the most abuse and wears out the quickest. So the sock companies developed ways to make sure the sock threads supporting your heel will have to bear the brunt of the abuse every...single...time.

The shape of the sock isn't the only way they do this. They put patterns on the sock where the top of your foot is supposed to be, but leave the bottom blank. Dress socks are the best at this tactic.

If you don't believe me, try this. The next time you go to put on some socks, try purposely "putting them on wrong." I'll bet your feet won't know the difference. I swear, I'm wearing mine wrong right now, and my feet feel fine. My socks last about four times longer than they normally would.

So now you're thinking, "why would I want to keep wearing my old socks when the best thing about a sock is getting a new one?" Well, now you're just one step away from truly opening your mind.

Since sock companies don't want to develop the technology to make "everlasting new" socks, and have even gone so far as to force us to wear down the socks we have, the only way we can fight back is to wear our old socks as long as we possibly can. That will force competing sock companies to come up with the longest lasting, most comfortable sock known to man. Don't fall into their trap. Try using all of your sock, instead of just what the sock companies want you to use. It's the only way we'll get what we truly deserve in a sock.

Open your mind. Fight the Conspiracy.

Happy Halloween 2008: Politics Edition

2008-10-31T17:07:00.002-04:00

*EDIT: Added new video 11/3/08.

It's Halloween and if you're looking for the scariest thing on the internet, you can mosey on over to this page: The Scariest Thing On The Internet.

As for me, few things scare me more than politics. It's scary how much of the world is run through politics. Not just government stuff, but within our work environments, social settings, and pretty much everything we do from day to day.

Heck, I don't even really know what "politics" means, which scares me even more. And I absolutely hate trying to "talk politics" with someone. Mostly because I have no clue what I'm talking about and don't know enough to even try to pretend.

Anyways, in honor of election day coming up and it being Halloween, I've found some scary "politics" videos for you to enjoy. These are random videos that I've come across recently and if you are ever around the internet, you've probably seen them. If you find any that should be added, feel free to leave a link in the comments, or shoot me an email and I'll add it to the list. Have a ghoulishly good time:

The Job
The first scary video is one of those mind-bending glimpses into the irony of our present financial "crisis." Brought about by politics, no doubt.

Terry Tate: Reading Is Fundamental
If you're not one of the 1,293,080 people who have already seen this video, you need to get out more. Or less. However that works out.

Sarah Palin Interview with Katie Couric
Okay, I know you've all seen this one. I don't care who you're voting for, this is pretty darn scary. I'm sure there are a million excuses and this could happen to anybody, but good grief, I mean... seriously. It reminds me of another video where somebody folded under the pressure. See if you can guess which one before watching it.

Got your guess ready? If so, click here: Scary Mystery Video

Synchronized Presidential Debating
This next video just proves there's nothing new under the sun. This video takes all three presidential debates and meshes them into one synchronized synopsis of the issues. We've heard it all before, and out of the same horse's mouth no less.

The Sidewalk to Nowhere, McCain Supporters in Bethlehem, PA
This is definitely scary. Blind ignorance and hatred is about as frightening as it gets. These folks put on a fine display of both while at a McCain rally. As ignorant as they are for acting like this, it would be just as stupid to say all McCain voters are like these morons. And don't worry, the next video of Obama supporters proves you can be equally idiotic, regardless of who you vote for. And it's nice in this video how all of the Obama supporters' comments are conveniently deleted.

Clueless Obama Voters In Harlem
The last video is from Howard Stern's show, where they sent someone to go out into Harlem and talk to the voters about why they are voting for Obama. I don't need to say how manipulative this is, but it's still pretty scary.

Barack Obama Not a US Citizen?
This is a pretty interesting video that I'm surprised hasn't gotten more attention (at least in mainstream media). A lawyer is suing Obama, claiming that he's not a US citizen and not eligible to run for the presidency. It seems like if this is legit, it's pretty freaking scary that nobody is concerned about this. Right? Watch the video and you tell me. It's also interesting that YouTube censored the title of this video (read the info on the YouTube page if interested).

In closing, I find it pretty scary how little I have cared to educate myself on the issues leading up to this election (or any election at any level throughout my life). We're lucky to live here and I definitely take this right for granted. It's dang scary when I think about it. So anyways, hope you all take the time to find out why you're gonna vote for whoever (whomever?) you vote for.

Alright, that's all I've got for now. Hope everyone has a safe and scary Halloween!

Video: "Take On Me" Literal Version

2008-10-08T06:01:00.001-04:00

Wow. Once again I find myself saying, "Why didn't I think of that?" In this hilarious video, someone was creative enough to rewrite the lyrics to a popular song so that they match the action going on in the music video. It's genius. They chose A-Ha's "Take On Me." A Ha, a ha.

The pipe wrench stuff is brilliant. I can only hope there are many more of these.

Best Job in the World: Voice Actor

2008-09-26T05:38:00.001-04:00

I've found another job to add to my growing list of things I'd love to get paid to do: voices for cartoons. It's got to be one of the best jobs possible. Go into a sound booth, make some funny voices, get paid. Sweet.

The best part would be when you're in a group of strangers and they all start doing their impression of your cartoon voice, then you're all like, "Dammit Bobby, you're doing that voice all wrong." Then they would all bow down to your superior impressionistic skills. Except it wouldn't be an impression, cause it's you.

The next best thing to being a voice actor is watching a voice actor do a familiar character. Which brings us to today's fun. I've compiled a small group of videos where you can get in on the joys of being a voice actor. There may be a downside to this job, but I just refuse to see it.

The first clip, as you've no doubt guessed, is from when the cast of the Simpsons appeared on Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by the unconquerable James Lipton. If you've somehow missed this, it's awesome. Take a gander:

Simpsons: Inside the Actors Studio

In the next video, we actually literally go inside the actor's studio with the cast of The Family Guy. It's weird when they say their lines out of context and without the other characters responding. And when they repeat the same line over and over, hoping to get one right. Pretty interesting.

Family Guy Voices

This next video may be my favorite of the bunch. It's an incredibly interesting clip from one of the greatest voice actors of all time: Mel Blanc. He goes through each of his famous characters and tells how he came up with their voices. Man, I miss those old Looney Tunes.

Mel Blanc: Creating Warner Bros. Cartoon Voices

Next up is a series of videos that go behind the scenes of voices in Disney animation. It's also ridiculously interesting and if you only have time for one (they're all short), watch the first one.

Behind the Scenes: Disney Character Voices. Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Boy, this is fun. The only way this could be better is if it were somehow possible to get an iconic figure from my childhood to tell me more about voices in animation. Someone like... oh, I don't know... Doogie Howser, M.D.!!! (cool voice stuff is about 2:00 in)

Best of Disney: Voices of Characters

Well, if that didn't convince you that voice acting is one of the best jobs possible, then you're probably a voice actor. Actually, the whole animation process is pretty darn cool. Hope you enjoyed this little break from whatever boring, dead-end job you have. If you're still bored, you can watch the entire episode of "Inside the Actor's Studio" with the Simpsons. Enjoy!

Simpsons Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Colts Lose Again

2008-09-21T19:23:00.002-04:00

I just have to get this off my chest, cause I'm so ticked. Aside from the many ways we screwed up this game (missed tackles, dropped passes, penalties), why in the name of all things holy are we passing the ball at 1st and goal from the 1.5 yard line? Why? It stopped the clock and gave them way too much time for a drive. Stupid! Yuck, I'm disgusted. This could be a really disappointing year. Oh and for the record, Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium: 0-2.

Ninja Cat Creeps Without Walking

2008-09-16T11:55:00.001-04:00

Haaaha, hahaha, aha, aaahh, ha...ha.

Boom Goes the Dynamite

2008-09-12T13:30:00.002-04:00

Here's a classic for you. Good ol' Indiana home-grown talent.

Ball State news reporter Brian Collins gives us the sports beat. Pay close attention to the Pacers highlights. That's where Brian really gets into a groove and unleashes the now infamous phrase, "Boom Goes the Dynamite."

I think his boyish looks are just perfect.

After you've enjoyed this a few times, try listening to it while reading the transcript. It's somehow even funnier. Good stuff.

Boom Goes the Dynamite- with transcript

Then I also found this video, which shows the publicity Collins received and also reveals where he came up with his ingenious catchphrase. I won't spoil it for you, but it's pretty much the best possible story.

Colts Season Opener 2008

2008-09-10T17:42:00.000-04:00

Well, I think I'm finally a few days removed enough to talk about the Colts losing to the Bears last Sunday. It sure was disappointing. Here's what I took from it.

The Good

1) Lucas Oil Stadium.

It looks awesome at night. And apparently, everything works. In a night where not a lot of good things happened for the Colts, at least their new home is cool. Here's a sweet video I found of the opening ceremony with some helicopters that flew over the top.

2) The Colts picked a good time to lose. I know every game counts, but this game isn't as important as many others will be. It's early enough that we can get some things fixed and get some experience for our newer players (the O-line). And it's not like a devastating blow to our momentum heading into the playoffs or anything.

3) Chargers lose their game and Patriots lose their season.

Of course, the Patriots will probably end up making the playoffs and being awesome. I seriously don't like seeing Brady go down like that. Any time that happens just sucks. Even if I do hate the Patriots.

4) Dwight Freeney. He looked like his old self, which is a really good sign.

I think that's it for the good.

The Bad

1) Losing for the first time in September (or October), after 21 in a row. Yep, the Colts won't go at least 7-0 for the first time since 2004. At least they didn't go 18-0 in a season, then lose the Super Bowl.

2) Colts run defense. Reminds me of the 2006 Colts, except they've been combined with an average offense. The Colts made Forte look like a stud and that 50-yard run on third and long was devastating. Speaking of third down...

3) 10 of 16 third down conversions. By the Bears. That's terrible. A few were pretty long third downs too. The Colts have got to do a better job getting the other team off the field.

4) 53 yards rushing. By the Colts. Enough said.

5) Colts Offensive line. They just got outplayed. The silver lining here is that they didn't play terribly and they're still getting used to their positions.

6) Jeff Saturday. This goes along with #5, but it sure hurts not having Saturday. I'm sure Jamey Richard will improve and he did a decent job. But I bet we win this game if Saturday was playing.

7) Red zone touchdowns. First two times we get into the red zone, we settle for field goals. We've got to get touchdowns dangit.

The Ugly

1) Too many Bears fans. Maybe it's just me, but it seemed like there were a lot of Bears fans in the crowd. I couldn't believe the noise out there when our offense was on the field. What's up with that?

2) Opening kickoff. Instead of kicking to Hester and blowing him up, we do a weak little "squib kick" (or whatever it's called). They get the ball on like the 40 and it sends the message that we're scared. I guess it may have been a good idea, given what happened at the Super Bowl, but still.

3) Harrison's fumble. He's been back two games since his injury and fumbled both times. Before that, he averaged like a fumble every 10 years.

4) Going for it on 4th and 1. This was a pretty bad call. I guess if we make it, it changes everything, but given how much time was left and how we couldn't run for shat against the Bears, that makes it a bad call. Oh well.

5) Having to watch a game with a Bears fan. This is still one of the most annoying things in the planet. I've said all I need to say about it here. Nothing's changed.

Well, that's all I can think of and this post is getting long. All in all, it's great to be watching football again. I sure hope this game was just a fluke and not a sign of the future. We'll find out this week against Minnesota. Dangit, I'd hate to go through a season of sucking. I'm sure eventually we'll probably have to deal with it, but I'm not ready yet. C'mon Colts! Be good, dangit! GO HORSE!

How Great Commenting Can Enhance Your Viewing Pleasure

2008-09-02T18:02:00.000-04:00

Today I have two seemingly unrelated videos to share with you. One is from a high school football game in 1994; the other from a local newscast. How could they possibly be related?

When I first watched these videos, I immediately knew they were great. Then when I started thinking about why, I realized that it wasn't because of the video footage itself. It was because of the people commenting on the video. If you mute either one of these, you will immediately loose 65% of your viewing pleasure.

The first video is from the 1994 Plano East- John Tyler football game. It's an amazing comeback and I'm sure most of you have probably seen it before. When you watch it this time through, pay attention to the commentators. They remind me a bit of ol' Slick Leonard. See if you can pick out these gems: "Attababy!" "Dadgummit." "Good-gosh Almighty!" and of course, "I done wet ma britches!" Be sure to watch this video to the end, it's awesome.

Then in this next video we see a local news crew doing a segment about a fashion show in Paris. During the show, one of the models stumbles and falls. I admit, that can be funny. But what makes this hilarious is listening to these two guys laugh at her fall.

I promise you cannot watch this entire video, with the sound on, and not laugh by the end of it. I would even argue that you could probably close your eyes and just listen to them laugh, and it would make you laugh. They just have that perfect laugh, which is indescribably contagious. I've watched it five times in a row now and laughed every time. Just see for yourself.

Ah man, that's good stuff.

Fun With Lord of the Rings

2008-07-03T05:32:00.000-04:00

At the risk of blaspheming one of the greatest movie trilogies of all time, I'm going to post a few videos.

We'll start with a short clip featuring the Horn of Gondor. This is a subtle video, which takes a certain sophisticated humor to really appreciate. Sorry if you don't get it. That just means you're too lowbrow to understand.

Horn of Gondor

Next up is an upbeat-techno song, which really displays the creative talent of this generation of youth. It's a great mix of music and video, creating a new media which any generation can appreciate.

They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard

This next one is also very creative, offering up an alternative ending to The Lord of the Rings. It's funny that I never thought of this. It's also retarded in many ways, but I still like the video.

How Lord of the Rings Should Have Ended

This last one is probably my favorite of all. It's a voiceover of one of the more awkward scenes in Lord of the Rings. Gimli's entrance is spectacular.

LOTR Voiceover

Dream Interpretation

2008-06-20T08:24:00.005-04:00

First, the dream:

I am at a large party in an unfamiliar house filled with a few friends, but mostly strangers. All of a sudden, I get a case of the runs and need to find a restroom. The first one I come to is occupied. Oh no.

So I start freaking out, quickly hobbling through this strange house, looking for a bathroom. I'm afraid to ask, because I'm embarrassed. Finally, I come across a strange room covered in pink carpet. Along the right hand side of the wall, is a shiny white toilet. The toilet is immaculate. Here's a crappy MSPaint, just so you can get an idea of what the room looked like:

I slam the door and plop down on the toilet. As I look in my pants, I notice that I crapped them. Then I hear the sound of a woman clearing her throat in annoyance. It's coming from around the corner, kind of behind the toilet. I glance behind me.

The room opens into a large meeting area, where a group of about twelve older women are having some kind of discussion. They all stare at me with pursed lips of disapproval.

My mind races to think of the appropriate thing to say in a situation like this. I am at a loss for words. One by one, the women file out of the room, each one glaring at me in my shame as they pass by. I mumble a few apologies, without looking up at them.

After they have left, I get another sick feeling in my stomach and feel like I'm going to puke. I open my mouth and a turd starts to slowly make its way out. I'm not sure what to do, so I just put my hands out and catch it.

Then I have to go back to the party and I'm worried about my breath smelling like crap. Then I wake up.

The Anal-ysis:

Obviously, after a dream like that, I woke up saying, "What the heck was that?!" So I did a little research. Which means, I Googled "Poop Dreams." The results were disappointing.

There are a few sites where you can just type in a word, and they'll give you a generalized interpretation. For instance, poop in your dreams may mean the following:

1) Certain aspects of your life may be dirty and negative.
2) You view something in your life as repulsive and undesirable.
3) Freud connects feces with money, possession, pride and shame (not sure how that works).

So the best I could do, is look up various things that I saw in my dream and combine them to come up with the best interpretation. Here are the words I looked up and their meaning (along with "poop" above):

Embarrassment
To dream that you are embarrassed, signifies hidden weaknesses, fears and lack of self-confidence. This dream also suggests of insecurities about your sexuality.

Woman
To see a woman in your dream, represents nurturance, passivity, caring nature, and love. It refers to your own female aspects or may also represent your mother. Alternatively, it may indicate temptation and guilt.

To see an old woman in your dream, indicates aging and growing old.

To see a group of women talking in your dream, refers to some gossip.

Toilet
To see a toilet in your dream, symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless. If you are cleaning the toilet, then it means that you are starting to shed your shell or lose your inhibitions.

Put that all together, and you get this interpretation of my crappy dream: I have a hidden weakness and fear of something in my life that I find repulsive and undesirable. I'm trying to get rid of it, but those who are supposed to help nurture and love me are instead growing old and gossiping.

So the question is, can dreams really help us understand something we're struggling with, or did I just have a crazy dream? I tend to lean toward the latter, but perhaps I shouldn't be so flip about my dreams. Did you know that your brain waves are more active when you dream than when you are awake? It's true!

Anyways, there's some food for thought. I really just wanted an excuse to tell about my crazy dream.

Just for fun, I decided to join a forum to see what others could come up with for my dream. If you're interested in following the discussion, here's the thread: Poop Mouth.

Props to this site for all of the dream info: Dream Moods

Monkey Does a Headstand on a Tight-Rope Walking Goat, While the Goat Stands on a Cup

2008-06-12T09:20:00.003-04:00

Yeah, you heard me:

Scaring Little Kids

2008-06-05T17:10:00.000-04:00

One of the most entertaining things you can possibly do in life is to scare someone. I'm not sure exactly why this is true, but it is. I also think being scared is almost as fun.

Obviously, I'm not talking about this scenario:

"Dude, I heard your brother died. That sucks."
"What?"
"Ha-ha. Scared you."

That's called being an annoying idiot.

I'm talking about hiding in the back seat of your wife's car early in the morning before she goes to work, then jumping up and grabbing her. I don't recommend doing this, but it's a good example of the kind of scaring that we're talking about here.

Since kids are a bit more vulnerable than adults, and typically give the best reaction while being scared, I've compiled a collection of some of the best videos of kids being scared. Hope you enjoy.

Kid Sings Britney Spears
No scared kid video list would be complete without this one. It's not my favorite, but it is funny. What makes this funny is that the kid really gets into singing Britney Spears and then the way he just passes out or whatever. It's a good warm-up video:

Dad Scares Kids With Where's Waldo
I like this one because the dad set it up. It just makes me smile to see that man laughing his head off, while the child he just scared runs to him for comfort. My kids are seriously screwed.

**Quick Side Note**
Can scaring kids cause permanent damage? What kind of psychological evidence do they have on this stuff? I'm reminded of a personal story that was hilarious, but could have been traumatizing. Can't believe I forgot about this till now: Baby Anni.

These next two videos go hand-in-hand, because they epitomize the two classic responses to being scared.

How to Respond to Being Scared
I love this first video. It shows an older brother setting up his younger brother for a scare. If you have a brother, you'll love this too, cause it captures what having a brother is all about. This little brother handles being scared perfectly. He screams, then his scream smoothly transitions into hysterical laughter. Watch the whole thing to fully enjoy the brotherly love. And this kid has a perfect scream.

How Not to Respond to Being Scared
If only every person being scared could handle it so well. Alas, this next kid shows us the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm annoyed at this little guy and I don't even know him. Watch this one all the way through to witness the shame.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Scare
This next video is a classic. It's been around for a while, but is still the best scare video out there. Everything is explained in the video, so just enjoy it.

Scare Montage
To round out my list, I'm just going to leave you with the "Scared Silly" montage. It's just a quick snippet of kids, adults, and even animals getting scared. Really, I just want you to see the last clip on this video. I LOL'd.

Bonus Scare Videos
As a bonus for reading this far, here are a couple funny scare-related videos. I saw this first one on America's Funniest Videos, then found it on Youtube. This kid's dad has to dress up and change his voice in order to get the kid to go to bed. Pretty funny. Dad scares his son to sleep:

Then of course, I had to add the hilarious "Never Scare a Black Man" videos. Again, these are self-explanatory.

If you would like to be scared yourself, take a moment to enjoy one of this blog's more popular posts: The Scariest Things on the Internet

Prince Caspian

2008-05-29T17:45:00.002-04:00

If I had to describe my reaction to this movie in one word, it would be: Disappointed.

There's plenty to like about the movie and it is entertaining, but I just was not impressed. I imagine that if I weren't such a big fan of the book and didn't have such high expectations, then maybe I would have enjoyed it more. But as it stands, I really was just disappointed. (SPOILERS to follow, do not read ahead if you haven't seen the movie)

The first thing that seemed obvious to me was that these kids aren't very good actors. To be fair, I think it was probably poorly written dialogue rather than bad acting, but it felt forced and unbelievable. However, I could have lived with sub-par acting. After all, Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe didn't have spectacular acting, and I liked that one. It's not like you go see this movie for a chance to watch Oscar talent on the big screen.

I think the most disappointing thing for me was in the way the movie separated itself from the book. Characters and their relationships were changed (for the WORSE), and for no apparent reason (except maybe to add unnecessary drama).

I guess I'll just make a list of the things that pretty much ruined the movie for me. In order, here they are:

5) Doctor Cornelius. The doctor's role is greatly diminished, which was a huge disappointment to me, because he's such a great character. They literally could have just taken him out of this movie and it wouldn't have changed much. That's just poo, cause he's awesome in the book.

4) Battle of Beruna. I liked this battle scene the first ten times I saw it. How many times do we have to see large catapulting contraptions demolishing the undermanned hero? I admit that I liked the sinking earth trap, although it's a pretty ridiculous idea that would never really work.

The fighting trees were stupid too. Ents have been done before. They're supposed to be the nymphs and dryads who are more like giants with leafy arms. Why change this to something we've seen before? I didn't like the river god either, but at least the rushing water didn't turn into horses. And I was really hoping to see Bacchus make an appearance in this movie (he's actually the one who frees the river god). Another good scene wasted.

3) The Castle Siege. I admit that this was a good action scene, for the most part. But I don't understand how it helped develop the (original) story in the least. Sure, it helped to ruin Caspian's character, by pitting him against King Peter (which never happens in the book).

And I can guarantee you that if an army of minotaurs and centaurs came storming in, the people would die of fright. In the book, there is a real sense that the Telmarines FEAR Old Narnia. They had no idea that these creatures still existed. Every soldier would have peed his pants and dropped his sword. This scene just should not have been thrown in. It doesn't make sense and adds nothing to the story (at least as the story was originally written).

2) Reepicheep. Reepicheep is by far one of the most popular characters in all of Narnia. This movie did a terrible job of developing who he is. He was turned into some sort of caricature of himself. The scene at the end where he loses his tail is one of the best scenes in the book, but it was almost an afterthought in the movie. I bet if I hadn't read the book, the significance of that moment would be totally lost. Such a shame.

I hated that they threw in the "You're a mouse!" bit before he killed someone with one swipe to the nose. There are freaking griffins and goat-men running around, and you're going to be surprised at a mouse? And it was retarded having him single-handedly taking down grown men. That never happens in the book, and was just a joke in the movie.

And please tell me why they added the scene with the cat being tied up in the castle? AAAAAHHH! So stupid! "Ooh, look, it's the mouse's natural enemy: the castle cat. Come on guys, there's always enough time for a chivalrous mouse to find some rope somewhere and tie up a sleeping cat." Ugh.

1) Prince Caspian. I can't believe how much they botched up the title character. Mostly, it was because of his relationships with the other characters.

Let's start with Caspian and Miraz. So Caspian learns that Miraz killed his father, and runs through the castle (a-la Inigo Montoya), so he can avenge his father. In the book, he never seeks this vengeance (it doesn't fit his character). Rather surprisingly, he cannot bring himself kill good ol' Uncle Miraz. Shocker. That first scene was so dramatic, we get to see it again at the end of the movie. I really thought he was going to kill him that time, though.

Then there's Caspian and the Old Narnians. In the book, he's already gained their favor and is leading their army against King Miraz. He makes decisions and has character and leadership. It's only after their army is outmatched and as a last resort that he blows Susan's horn, and then the help comes. In the movie, there's none of that. Help comes almost by accident (because he doesn't even know what the horn is), and because he fell off his horse (being chased by Telmarines who somehow found the courage to follow him into a forest that is known to be haunted and hasn't been entered for centuries).

Then we have Caspian and King Peter. Darn that know-it-all King Peter, with his hair brained raid schemes. I have no idea why they felt the need to have some kind of bitter rivalry between these two kings. From what I remember, this isn't the case in the book and definitely not to the extent it was portrayed in this movie. That was almost as ridiculous as...

Caspian and Queen Susan. Seriously? I mean, seriously? Somebody explain this to me. If everything else in the movie was exactly like the book and was made perfectly, this would still have ruined it for me. So fake, so unbelievable, so unnecessary. Complete with the terrible "let's make money off of the music industry as well with our top 20 love ballad" at the end. I just laughed my way through every one of these "love" scenes. I don't see how anyone could have enjoyed the movie while having to endure this ridiculous addition. Stupidest. Decision. Ever.

This post turned out way longer than I expected. I could keep going, but I guess the point is, I just didn't see the need or the purpose of going so far away from the context of the book. If you need filler material for the movie, you have 1500 years of undocumented history that would make for awesome back-story (like the opening scene in the first LOTR trilogy). Why not go back and show the Telmarines first coming to Narnia and sending the Narnians into hiding? There's so much there you could use, which wouldn't change the original story.

Having said all that, if you don't really care about the books and how closely the movie follows them, you'll probably like this movie. It's entertaining with decent effects and definitely worth watching. But if you're a big fan of the books and character development and solid plot lines, you're probably going to be disappointed.