The Animated Woman

Watercolours Have My HEART

2022-12-20T16:12:00.003-05:00

I suppose it's time for an update over here.

It was a long run...it's not over, but I can't deny that watercolours have my heart at the moment. The Animated Woman just has to wait.

Cardinal Ruler

Reading The Menu

Look Harder

If you want to see what I'm up to, go see JCLittle.com - yep, I was finally able to get my hands on my name URL. There you'll find my fine art shop, landscapes and wildlife, as well as pet portraits and a way to commission a piece. I even have a quiet little Artist Blog over there.

Be well, be kind, be animated, I love you.

JC Little

What Do You Give Your Parents For Their Wedding Anniversary?

2021-11-03T21:03:00.006-04:00

What do you give your parents for their wedding anniversary? And what if it's their 56th wedding anniversary? Celebrating such an enduring union with an original gift might be a challenge...unless you are The Mighty Aliza Worthington.

Hence this commission of a cartoon version of her mom and dad's original 1965 wedding photograph.

Such a fun project; I've been so busy doing watercolour portraits and paintings lately, it's been a few months since I've done anything in my toonswag style. I loved jumping back into it, and it made me realize how versatile I've become as an artist.

Of course, there's nothing like the original. Thanks for trusting me with your parents, Barbara and Michael, Aliza, as always, you rock. Happy 56th Anniversary to these beautiful lovebirds!

Looking for a special gift for a special someone? Whether cartoon or fine art watercolour, portraits make amazing and memorable gifts, often eliciting an emotional reaction. Reach out to me HERE to arrange a commission.

She Hits Hard

2021-01-25T13:12:00.008-05:00

Me: "What do you want for Christmas, Boy?"

Boy: "Cover art for my first single please."

The song just dropped last week and is called She Hits Hard, and is a boxing metaphor for love ❤️💥. It had to be super-cute chibis, he said, and gave me the rough concept of bandages and black-eyes (I used the incredible Zendaya as visual reference for she-who-hits-hard).

She Hits Hard by Merlin Little, featuring Phileep.

Merlin Little, a.k.a. The 10 Year Old Boy, is now nearly 21 and actually just moved out - during the pandemic, I know, but what can you do? Baby bird's gotta fly. Our son is what I call a 'super creative' type, and this song is part of a collection that will be an album, made during the ongoing lockdown existence.

Please support musicians. Hit this link for a preview and download the song on iTunes, Apple Music, Spotify and SoundCloud.

Follow @merly_curly_ on Instagram for new music dropping soon, with awesome cover art by other cool artist types.

2020: The Year In Animation

2020-12-29T09:00:00.002-05:00

I made a short animated film about how relentlessly bad the year 2020 is/was. It's been literal shit! Therefore the animation features the song "Literal Shit" by the band Apache Tomcat; go check them out on Free Music Archive, they are cool.

I grew up in the sixties and Saturday morning cartoons had a profound impact on me. Sometimes I think my personality was shaped by Chuck Jones and Mel Blanc. Most definitely there are traces of influence in my own little indie films in terms of timing and character takes (though greatly simplified in execution). When I started making this film, I was really just thinking of animating a series of shots of me trying to "destroy the 2020". It was only halfway through that I realized I was also including pratfalls (because they're funny). Like Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner, 2020 has been a series of desperate shots and humiliating pratfalls. It served the story to go with it, so I leaned in.

The song (which I found first and animated to on a timeline) is only about 30 seconds long, and the shots are super tight. I LOVE that fast-paced animation. I added the extra "downtime" at the end, which builds some tension before releasing back into the fury of the music. Actually the film will loop endlessly if you let it. I really hope 2020 does not loop endlessly. *sob*

2021 better be better.

Seriously, 2020 has been a world-wide disaster and a year fraught with personal terribleness. There's a raging pandemic! People are divided! The planet is on fire! Friends and family are suffering and dying. I animated this while simultaneously dealing with mononucleosis, full surgery to remove pre-cancer in my boob, and a gall bladder situation - and I consider myself lucky. Because it could have been way worse.

What do you consider yourself lucky for this year?

ps. wear a mask please.

The Up-The-Nose Covid Test

2020-11-24T12:26:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I went for my pre-surgery covid test. I'm having a partial mastectomy this week so the covid test is a precaution to protect the health care workers just in case I'm harbouring some of that coronavirus in my bod. Unlikely given that I've been pretty much isolated since last March, but you never know.

I admit I was a little nervous about this test; my son and daughter have both had the up-the-nose test and both told me it was the worst thing ever. All weekend I kept trying to imagine what it would feel like to be probed deep into my noggin.

The hospital test center was solely for pre-surgery patients, so no one was lined up with symptoms. It was really quick! I went in, sat down, and a nice nurse lady explained that she was going to be very gentle. She took out what looked like a very long white mascara wand with a teensy brush on the end of it. Nurse Lady said she had to stick it up my nose and twirl it around for ten seconds. I nodded, ok. I'm ready.

She holds the wand up to my cheek horizontally, as if measuring how far to stick it in. Out of the corner of my eye, I'm thinking YIKES that's like SIX INCHES man! Wat?

Twirl it for ten seconds.

And in it goes. It kind of burns. But not much. Nurse Lady says she now has to start the twirling for ten seconds. Ok, let's go.She starts counting out loud, "One Mississippi... two Mississippi... three Mississippi..."

The burning intensifies just a little, and a sound starts coming out of me, "OOOOooooooOOOoooo". I mean it was hilarious, I had no control over this noise, it was completely involuntary.

Nice Nurse lady counts faster, "Five Mississippi, six Mississippi, seven Mississippi,"

Me: "oooooOOOOOoOOooOOOOoOOO!"

NNL: "EightMissippinineMissppiTEN!!!" and she whips it out from the depths of my nasal passage.

The burning stops, and a tiny tear rolls its way out of the corner of my left eye. And that was it. To be honest I felt a little bit let down. And like, somehow, they should do the other nostril as well, just to keep things balanced and symmetrical. I suggested it, but Nurse Lady just laughed.

It was really not as bad as a colonoscopy, or a PAP smear, or even having your teeth cleaned. You don't have to take off any clothes, and it's only ten very fast seconds.

Mind you, this was a pre-surgery covid test with a Nice Nurse Lady. If I had had symptoms, and was stressed and worried about getting sick, or getting my loved ones sick, and burdening the healthcare system, not to mention waiting in line for hours, it would be a different story.

Things that are worse than the up-the-nose covid test.

Have you had the up-the-nose covid test? Let me know if it was better or worse than anything on this list.

Stay safe and mask up!

How My Dog Saved My Life (probably).

2020-11-21T15:45:00.004-05:00

It was the end of July and I was walking my dog Chuck. The weather was warm and luscious and we sauntered together slowly down the sidewalk. Suddenly Chuck pulled sideways towards a parked car; there was a cat sulking underneath it.

It wasn't a hard pull, just an unexpected tug. Chuck is 150 lbs to my 100 lbs, but he's a good walker and I led him easily away and thought nothing more of it.

Why my boobs got to do me like this.

Two days later I felt a pain in my right breast. Not remembering that cat incident, I immediately thought, uh-oh, something's up with the Old Girl.

My right = Old Girl. My left = Old Maid.

Having had a lump removed from the left breast in my early 40s (turned out to be just a lump) plus being over fifty, I get a mammogram every year. This year I was thinking, "There's a pandemic out there! I'll just skip it, no big deal." But when I got this weird pain, even though I felt no lump, I got worried and went in for the scan and also an ultrasound.

A few days later, the radiology clinic called me back for another scan. The following weeks they called me back for two more "magnifications" and different views. Weirdly, they were focusing only on my left breast, the Old Maid, while completely ignoring the Old Girl.

Next thing I know, the doctor told me I needed a biopsy because I have some micro-calcifications in the Old Maid. You guys: "stereotactic" is a word. A stereotactic biopsy is a thing where you lie face down on a table with a hole in it. It looks like a massage table! Your boob goes in the hole and hangs down (in my case, to the floor). They freeze your tit, and then do the biopsy whilst simultaneously scanning it for accuracy. For the record, it hurts about as much as going to the dentist; a tiny needle prick, some pressure, and that's it. (The next few days were a bit ouchie though. Just like the dentist haha.)

Around this time I was diagnosed with Old Lady mononucleosis. And tummy troubles exacerbated by my osteoporosis medication (barf). The Huz was away in the UK visiting his mum. My friend Kym was struggling with her cancer. There's a raging pandemic. The world is on fire. And now a looming breast issue. It was a lot.

So it turns out I don't have cancer! I have pre-cancer. Also known as stage zero Ductile Carcinoma In Situ. And I'm having surgery next week to carve that bitch out. Partial mastectomy. It sounds dramatic, and I know it's going to hurt, but I'm not scared. As my doctor said, "We caught it early. This is why we do mammograms."

I was listening to NPR in the car and there was a medical expert saying that in two to three years, something like 20,000 women were going to die because they delayed their mammograms due to the covid situation. That might've been me. So basically, if Chuck hadn't yanked me, I probably wouldn't have gone for my yearly mammogram. The dangerous micro-calcification clusters would have laid undiscovered until possibly stage 1 or 2 DCIS. Thanks Chuck: you saved my life (probably).

Yes, I still have to get over the wretched mono and tummy troubles as well as surgery and whatever that reveals. But the good news is I have every chance of good results in the future. Also the Old Girl doesn't hurt anymore.

Please tell Chuck what a good boy he is. And if you feel so moved, give a small donation to SOS Quebec Newf Rescue. Don't delay your mammograms!

PS Wear a mask. I don't want my surgery canceled due to Covid overload.

Kym and me.

2020-11-12T20:06:00.003-05:00

One can say a heck of a lot about Kymberli Barney. Beyond her family and friends, Kym touched many people with her gifts. I'm sifting through my memories of her and it actually blows my mind not only how much she accomplished, but also the precious communities she blessed with her heart. It's not a surprise to see how loved she was. I only met Kym in person once, but I first got to know her as a fellow blogger, and so that's what I'll spring from here.

To be a blogger, and to spark and nurture the very specific kind of friendship that exists on the Internet, is a new and divergent behaviour in the realm of human connection. It's a relationship that can expand very quickly from casual witticisms to sharing the intimate intricacies of our lives. Like pen pals on steroids, thanks to technology. Quite often bloggers share the subtle nuances of hopes and fears with their blogging community that they may never feel safe or comfortable sharing with In Real Life loved ones. The intensity of such a friendship has baffled those who exist in-person; how can you feel this depth of caring for someone you've never met?

How, indeed? The written word is powerful, and so are drawings. Words and pictures open doors. And that's pretty much what happened with Kym and me.

It was 2011. There I was, happily blogging my drawings right here, when some lady called The Smartness started waving at me on Twitter. She said she'd drawn me (usually it's me who draws people) and put it on her blog and was terrified that I'd be mad.

I
Kym's drawing of me, on a mug. I'm actually terrified to break it now.

Well. As if. LOL.
I clicked the link and promptly fell in love.

Kym had dubbed me an Honorary Gangsta in her drawing, complete with baddass attitude and hefty bling. Gangstas and Bling were identifiers she often invoked in her writing to connect her readers, and sometimes as a trope to push a point, as only a Black woman could. Kym's sense of humour was both mightily sophisticated and steeped in the Brew of the Potty; damn she was funny. I can't count the number of times she showed herself out.

That's how it started. Kym drew me, and in so doing, drew me to her. I drew her right back and sealed the deal, Gangsta 101.

As Kym would say: WORD.

What I saw in Kym was a kindred creative spirit. Her humility, thoughtfulness, curiosity and sheer brains, it all shone through in her writing. She was a natural leader, organizing fundraisers and support for others. We put our heads and hearts together on projects, as friends and bloggers, as teachers and artists, as mothers and wives. She inspired me. Kym was generous with her light.

The rest was history. Eight years of comments on blog posts and social media, advice asked and given by email, endless meandering conversations via private messages. Always there, just one click away. Even when she got sick. I did my best to make her laugh.

Radio Kym!

Kymotherapy!

I told her I loved her. She said she loved me too. And then she was gone.

*****

Kym had often ninja-posed for photos after some of her cancer treatments. When her mum asked me to draw a cartoon of Ninja Kym to print on their Celebration-Of-Life t-shirts, I thought about drawing her in the usual way: cute, hilarious and kicking cancer's ass. Kym was funny but she was beautiful too, and so much more than a simple stick-figure cartoon could convey.

So I went with my super-hero style; classic ninja pose, ascending with dreamy heart-shaped radial wings, and a halo, the ultimate Bling.

Did you know Kym?

My personal CBT Toolkit

2019-11-23T14:55:00.002-05:00

When Inkling died suddenly in March of this year, it made me realize how much of a load I had been carrying throughout the year, and how much I was leaning on my dog to provide a framework for balance and strength.

Inkling was gone, and during a week of bad news about The Huz's cancer, and the death of my father-in-law, it really destabilized me. There was a mix of guilt and shame. I felt lost, invisible and unable to cope. The edge of the cliff rushed up to me and beckoned.

At my husband's urging, I signed up for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Really it was like going to a class where I was the only student. My therapist was wonderful; she recognized the way I learned visually, and guided me at my own pace. She also told me I was already using some CBT in my thinking, which was super encouraging.

I'm not really qualified to explain in depth as to what CBT is, but I can share that it provided me with ways of thinking that I could practice whenever I encountered a trigger: to recognize it, analyse it and deal with it. And let's face it, life is full of triggers, right?

My personal CBT Trigger Island.

At the end of the therapy, which lasted about four months, my final assignment was to create a "tool kit". I drew a map of Trigger Island, a danger-scape with all the pitfalls and traps I might encounter in myself or others: you'll see the Quicksands of Grief, a flaming Passive Aggressive Snowman (hot and cold!), Fear of the Unknown Haunted House, a Forest of Depression and Isolation, and the Howling Winds of Change, to name a few. The edges of the map are possibly the most dangerous of all.

My personal Mindfulness Cards.

There's also a set of Mindfulness Cards, and Power Cards. I use the mindfulness skills to help give me a chance to recognize, unpack and analyse things that happen or that I do. Power cards are things that I can actively do to move myself forward, and put things in perspective, either with my thoughts or my actions.

My personal Power Cards.

I created Green Flags and Red Flags, so that I could recognize when I'm doing well, and when I'm getting into trouble. Funnily, the Green Flags were harder to nail down, perhaps because we tend to take them for granted when life is humming along as it should.

My personal Green Flags and Red Flags - they have little pictograms on the backs but no way to show them here.

If CBT was offered in schools, I think more people would have the skills to cope better when life throws them a curve ball. More of us would understand why we feel what we feel, what others are going through, why they behave the ways they do, and how to counter or protect ourselves with assertiveness and respect.

Inkling is gone, and even though I have another dog now, I still miss him so much. Grief is interesting; it seems to steal your joy but it also gives you an opportunity to grow, and I'm grateful for that.

Love you guys,

JC

My Inkling.

2019-03-30T16:42:00.001-04:00

I’m grieving hard. I don’t want to forget. Writing it down helps.

I'm not really religious, but he looks so darned cute with these wings.

I love dogs, and I’m especially fond of Newfoundland dogs. I’ve had other dogs before and mourned them at their passing. But Inkling was more than just my dog, he was a support system. I leaned on him because I'm susceptible to so many things including alcoholism, morbid intrusions, and depression. The attention Inkling demanded saved me from spiralling. His solid dependence was my strength. I raised him with the utmost care, using positive reinforcement and force-free training. We went for walks in the forest, and we had daily playtime. I fed him wonderful home-prepared food and treats. I taught him to do some amazing tricks – he was so clever. Inkling never had a punishment, a swat, or a leash jerk. He would not have understood it if I yelled at him. He trusted me. And when he showed signs of fear reactivity to strangers, barking and lunging at them, I rolled up my sleeves, educated myself, and did the work. I counter-conditioned and desensitized him to triggers like strangers, horses, car rides, and the vet. I muzzle-trained him – Inkling loved the muzzle! None of this was easy or quick, but we did it. Our bond deepened, and, over time, he calmed. Some might say I doted on him, but the focus on his needs kept me from veering off the road.

What happened to Inkling? Some yarn got tangled up in some bark and found its way into him. He had emergency surgery to remove the obstruction from his tummy. He didn’t make it. He was only three and a half.

I am plagued with “if only’s” and “what if’s”. I try to keep them at bay but the mind circles round and round, caught in a loop of repeating scenarios where the outcome is different, to make sense of the loss, to cope in some way. One of these scenarios is that, somehow, the yarn from my crochet clung to the back of my trousers and fell away in the garden without me knowing. Thinking this gave me some comfort. I mean, people tell you not to blame yourself, and in my head I know that dogs just eat stuff. But…I had worked so hard to keep him safe, nagging at my kids to pick up their socks, to not bring home gum with xylitol in it, to shut the toilet lid, to keep all the trash bins up out of dog-reach. I had trained Inkling to “drop” and to “leave it” in case we encountered a potential foreign body. In the end I wasn’t able to keep Inkling from ingesting 12 inches of yarn. I never even saw it go in him. I didn’t keep him safe and I will regret this forever.

Everywhere at home, I feel my Inkling. His leash and harness on the footstool; I stop and sniff them when I walk past. Opening the freezer in the laundry room, packed with containers of raw dinners, each one carefully weighed to precisely 2.2 lbs; giant freezer bags filled with home-made treats; tubs of Kong stuffing mixture; and some soft cooked food I prepared for when he would have returned home from the vet because I believed he would live. That freezer is filled with love.

The wooden stand for food and water bowls, the dog bed in my studio, the grooming table in the garage, and the slats of wood that cover up the gaps in the garden fence: my husband made all these things for Inkling. The toys carefully put away, the muzzle I trained him to love, the carpets I’d put down for traction at playtime, so many brushes, and the dog hair in that found its way into everything, including the cookie I’m now munching.

I will miss our quiet bond. The way I communicated my wishes to him, the way I could read him. The subtle nuance of hand gestures, tone of voice, and complex dog signals, the tension of impulse-control and the joy of the release command, together these things made my world good. In the last week of his life, spent in the Intensive Care Unit, Inkling was not triggered. The ICU team were gentle with him, and he allowed all the necessary medical interventions, and there were many, with nary a growl. They could even cuddle him. He was suffering a lot after the surgery but he did not have fear-based anxiety. He was a brave boy and a very good boy.

We were with him. I held Inkling's gigantic head in my hands when the vet gave him the dose, my face down on the floor close to his. I told him we were going to go outside and play. Just like a Newf, he began to snore.

I can’t believe he’s really gone.

Lost in Space

2019-03-28T23:47:00.001-04:00

We like to believe that we keep our dogs on a leash, but the reality is that it is we who are tethered to them.

Inkling left us yesterday; he was only three and a half, but nonetheless a robust 160 lb Newfoundland with a deep and mighty WOOF! He was with me every minute that he was awake and I gave him all the time, care and love a dog could want. In return, he kept me focused, slobbered all over me and let me stroke his beautiful fur.

Rest in peace, Inkling. I am adrift without you.

Five Years Sober

2019-03-15T22:54:00.001-04:00

Today, I acknowledge you, my pretty, clever, elephant. You are a part of me now.

I was at a "Port Tasting Party" last week and someone asked me if I'd tasted the Feist. When I explained that I wasn't drinking because I'm an alcoholic, the person was surprised that I could handle being at a party like that. I'm not immune to triggers; they do surface sometimes, but it's rare and they're so fleeting. Then came the questions and we slid effortlessly into a conversation about how I struggled in darkness before quitting drinking five years ago.

Isn't it funny how you have to step into the light to see your shadow?

My kids are superheroes.

2019-03-06T22:43:00.001-05:00

I drew my kids as superheroes.

This was kind of a cool exercise, as an artist and as a mom; I had to really think about their characters, their individual strengths and gifts. I had fun with the poses and costume details.

Also, no one knows a superhero's back story like their mom.

If your kid was a superhero, what would their power be?

Love You Like

2019-02-14T20:55:00.001-05:00

I wrote a poem for The Huz.

Happy Valentine's Day.

xojc

Portraits of Pets

2018-08-08T11:35:00.001-04:00

About three months ago I was really sick with a bad case of the flu, holding the sofa down and bored out of my mind. I decided to do a few digital sketches of my dog, Inkling, on my Surface tablet. When I posted the drawing to Facebook I was approached by people asking for dog and cat portraits.

So now I have a website dedicated to my portraits, JCLittlePortraits.com, because the style is quite different than my "Animated Woman" stick figures. I am versatile.

Here's a taste:

Look at this silky muzzle.

My pet portraits are digital, drawn in Sketchbook; you get a high resolution file and take care of your own printing, or I can take care of the printing and framing for you. You can go up to 16 x 16” or even 20”. I work from one photo; adjusting lighting and colour as I draw, enhancing the expression and personality. I ask for 3-5 photos so I can get a feel for your pet’s personality, and we usually decide on one together; it should be nice and sharp, with a good silhouette, and no missing or shadowy, obscured parts. The price is $100 USD until September 2018, so book now. Find out more here.

I'm still drawing AW stuff in between portraits; currently working on my graphic novel, "BALL". Updates on that and more festival selections for HONESTY coming soon, I promise!

Film Festival Laurels - updates!

2018-04-29T21:47:00.000-04:00

Yes! My film "Papa Pasquale" has been selected to screen in the Footcandle Film Society's Children's International Film Festival in North Carolina.

The true story of Folino family's migration from Italy to Canada in the 1950's has collected a few laurels since it's release.

Stream Papa Pasquale here.

More news: my recent short film "HONESTY" (featuring the irrepressible PickleWeasel) has made Official Selection in the VAFI & RAFI 9th International Children and Youth Animation Festival, Croatia.

PickleWeasel has to learn how to listen to his conscience: should he be honest or run away?

Stream HONESTY here.

If you're making little films and you want to get them out there, entering them into festivals is so much more viable now than it used to be. Everything goes online; no more sending hard copies and filling out complicated forms. Many festivals are free to enter, and some cost a little. If you're considering a festival tour for your film, get yourself a budget, research the festivals that showcase films like yours and narrow down which ones you think are a good fit. Check out FilmFreeway and WithoutABox to get started.

Support independent film, go to a film festival.

International Day Of Happiness

2018-03-20T17:29:00.001-04:00

I made this for you.

Happy International Day Of Happiness.

Totally LAME.

2018-03-19T22:50:00.001-04:00

Hurrah for Medicare in Canada! Sure, I spent the night sitting in a wheelchair in the ER but hey, I did catch a glimpse of an elderly hospital-gowned gentleman's backside, complete with some very low-hanging fruit. We're talking knee-knockers. We're talking tennis balls in long socks. We're talking Newton's Cradle. So the trip to the ER wasn't a complete washout. Also, I got a diagnosis and treatment plan for my bum hip.

I have a Calcified Hematoma. Which means, when a dog named Buddy comes running at you exhuberantly and jolts your hip in a high speed joy leap, you will limp lightly for a month and then suddenly be unable to walk. Because excruciating pain.

How do I know the dog's name was Buddy? His owner was yelling it over and over. I think she should have shouted louder because he obviously couldn't hear her.

Inkling was good. And along came Buddy.

Meet my new best friend:

Senior walker? Or FREEDOM MACHINE.

At the hospital you get asked what level of pain you have from 1 to 10, 1 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. I mean, how can they tell how bad it is? My 10 could be someone else's 5. So I said, "I'm holding a steady 7 allatime, shooting 9s and 10s." And they're like TAKE THE MORPHINE GIRL.

I can't take those drugs though because I'm alcoholicle. Instead I opted for anti-inflammatories and acetaminophen. It takes the edge off but leaves me with just enough shooting 8s to make my kids feel sorry for me. And why shouldn't they? My parkour career is in jeopardy.

I'll be laid up for two to three weeks. Usually I'm the Helper, so it's difficult to assume the role of Helpee. I'm learning though. There are ways to ask for help without becoming annoying. For example, this afternoon I had a bath; I have strong arms and low body weight so there was no problem getting myself into the tub. Getting out was impossible. I called out to The Huz, "Hey! Do you want see me naked?"

He answered straight away. "Coming!"

See what I did there.

Elephant In the Brain

2018-03-16T23:21:00.002-04:00

The Ides of March, my sobriety anniversary, or "soberthday", came and went yesterday without fanfare. It's been four years since I quit drinking.

Every year an old friend of mine calls to congratulate me on staying sober, and yesterday was no different. He said that he was impressed that I had made it this far, and that he knew how hard it was to quit. My reply, as always, was that I didn't find it hard. I found that continuing drinking was hard; not drinking was so much easier.

No self loathing. No little mind games. No shame. Much easier.

But I'm carefully ignoring something: the elephant is no longer in the room, but it's still lurking in my brain. I'm not accounting for the hidden costs of sobriety. I'm not acknowledging the losses. There are friendships and communities of drinking buddies that fall away and disintegrate. It's painful. Even though you have no issue being around drinkers or being at parties, the invitations dry up. You are excluded from certain events.

The photos posted to Facebook of a girls night out, or a trip to a winery stings a little. You can see the party going on inside the bubble, but you know that you are not welcome. Not because you can't handle it, but because they can't.

And that is just the superficial pain. It runs deeper and with greater intensity, and it touches the raw nerve of your identity. People who have known you your whole life accuse you of having changed. They don't recognize you. They're even angry, as though you'd cheated them, or stolen something they felt was theirs.

You spent so many years covering up the fear and doubt, drowning out the loneliness with booze and being a happy, funny, party girl. They miss that girl. But she is not who you are - she never was.

HONESTY laurels!

2018-02-13T18:41:00.000-05:00

My short film that I animated for kids to learn about honesty, has picked up a few more festival screenings and one award. So I figure it's time I update the credentials, because my fleet of personal assistants have yet to materialize.

Collecting laurels is fun.

Here we go:

• Ajayu International Animated Short Film Festival 2017, Peru - Official Selection.
• The World Animation Celebration 2017, Los Angeles - Official Selection.
• Canada Shorts 2017, St John NB - Official Selection, WINNER Award of Distinction.
• Providence Childrens Film Festival 2018, Pawtucket RI - Official Selection.
• KidFilm Festival 2018, Dallas - Official Selection.
• Athens AnimFest 2018, Athens Greece - Official Selection, European premiere.

HONESTY was specifically animated with kids in mind, so I entered it into a few childrens film festivals. I'm especially pleased that it got into KidFilm and wow, delighted it made it into Providence - that is such a cool festival, they really care about the filmmaker and give valuable feedback. That Providence Children's Film Festival runs from Feb. 16-25, so if you in the Pawtucket Rhode Island area, get your tickets here.

Thus far this film is entered into about fifty festivals, and I've got twelve rejections and six selections. Rejections hurt, but they help you figure out what festivals your film is right for. I learned this while doing the festival run on my last film, "Papa Pasquale". Celebrate the laurels!

Once I finish my graphic novel, "Ball", I'll set my sights on my next little film. I can't wait to get back to animating.

Support indiefilm for $4 : HONESTY is available for streaming on Teachers Pay Teachers.

"Ball" work-in-progress.

2018-01-29T18:03:00.001-05:00

Been busy with all the things of life, but still plugging away on my graphic novel for a few hours every day. The frames are more detailed than I usually do, so it's taking more time.

Here's a few work-in-progress images.

Apparently, water represents the subconscious...

Facing the Black & White Thinking Shark.

When the story sucks you in, you just have to let it happen. In a way, it's like the story is already there, waiting to be uncovered. I'm super-enjoying this.

More sneak peeks here.

Working on a graphic novel: "Ball".

2018-01-04T14:11:00.001-05:00

A while ago I was moved to start an illustrated series call Ball. I posted eight chapters (starting HERE) and then stopped, intending to complete the series as a book.

Life happened, my family needed me, I quit drinking and got a dog. There have been some money worries too, so I focused on producing clip art and videos for teachers. Now it's time to draw for myself again. I don't have as many free stretches as I once did, but I do have enough to focus on one of my many projects for a few hours each day. After internalizing Ball for so long, it deserves to be let out.

Here's a sneak peek:

Work-in-progress.

Ball is the story of someone who loses a precious thing, and has to somehow find their way out of darkness. It's... an adventure.

I'll try to post updates as I go, and hope you'll follow along.

A laurel for HONESTY

2017-09-25T13:13:00.000-04:00

My new little film "HONESTY" has made official selection in The World Animation Celebration. This festival is presented by Animation Libation Studios and Animation Magazine and hosted by Sony Pictures Animation in Culver City, California. These are serious industry voices and players; it's an honour for me as an artist, for my TeachersPayTeachers distribution presence, and for PickleWeasel.

It's the first laurel for HONESTY, but I'm especially excited because I used to read Animation Magazine back in the early '80s. Man, I was doing ink & paint in those days! That's how long I've been in this industry.

My film explores the inner struggle we may face on the pathway to choosing honesty. Animation and video are valuable tools for teachers of many subjects, including life skills and character education. See HONESTY here on Teachers Pay Teachers.

I don't know yet which program my film will screen in at the WAC, but for animation fans there will be some real gems; they're selecting from 45 countries! FUN.

The World Animation Celebration takes place at Sony Pictures Animation: 9050 W. Washington Blvd. Culver City, California. Doors open 11:00 am Sat & Sun. Tickets available here on FilmFreeway.

HONESTY - Character Education Animation

2017-06-19T17:05:00.000-04:00

I have this great friend named Kymberli Barney who once drew me as a gangsta. You might leap to the conclusion that this is frivolous but in my animated world, I equate it to being Knighted. Kymberli can see the essential qualities in a person or a situation, through the clouds and confusion.

I draw many. Few draw me. Kymberli did tho.

She also happens to be the rather brilliant teacher of the Middle School Humans of BHiveU. Which leads me neatly to my next point:

I opened up my shop on Teachers Pay Teachers earlier this year, and while I've been a "pro" artist for over thirty years, it's been a struggle to figure out where I fit as a content provider to educators. Are my specific skills best applied drawing clip art? I'm definitely happier doing story-based projects, and things that provoke empathy, and that's what I do here on my blog, or in my books and films. So when Kymberli suggested I do some PickleWeasel 'character education' drawings and animation for the teacher market, it lit me up. Thank-you Kymberli!

Fun with watermarks.

The first six posters are already up in my shop: Honesty, Trust, Kindness, Cooperation, Perseverance, and Accomplishment. It was pretty challenging to depict these character traits in a single still image, I had to dig deep.

And here's my special announcement: HONESTY is now an animated film. Here is a preview:

Synopsis:

When PickleWeasel meets someone he likes, he decides to cut some flowers to give as a gift. But, when he discovers the flowers belong to someone else, he finds himself in a pickle. What to do! Pretend he doesn't care? Run away? Or be honest? PickleWeasel learns how to listen to his conscience and choose honesty, even when it's difficult.

This HONESTY life skills animation is a fun too to help you teach kids the value of honesty. So important, right? And there's lots of room for discussion of alternate outcomes and feelings in this story. If you want to see the whole thing, check it out here.

Thanks for supporting my work!

Mother's Day Flip-Cards Are The Bestest Cards.

2017-05-01T15:45:00.001-04:00

A couple of months ago I hopped on Teachers Pay Teachers and set up shop, making clipart (clip art? One word, two words??) for teachers.

Like any new business venture, it takes time to build both a catalog of art for sale and a customer base. I'm drawing furiously! There are obviously some great artists out there already well established in the market so how do I find my niche?

And so, for Mothers Day, I give you ...FLIP-CARDS!

Yessss! Mother's Day Flip-able greeting cards - I am so smart.

Once assembled, these babies animate when you flip them up and down. I used drawings from my book, Motherhood, which is on Amazon, but I think I'll soon be posting a download in my shop as well.

I'm still figuring out all the do's and don'ts around selling clip-art and printables on TPT. The learning curve is kinda steep, even for an established stick-figure-drawer like myself. But I'm thinking more animation-based products is where I'm headed.

Each card is $1, or you can get the set of 4 for $3. Don't wait for shipping or delivery, just download, print and BAM, you're making something awesome for the mom in your life. That's my sales pitch; I hate marketing my stuff so I'll shut up now.

Love you!

"Papa Pasquale" - Awards and Official Selections.

2017-03-25T18:34:00.002-04:00

Happy! My film "Papa Pasquale", the true story about an adventurous young man who immigrates to Canada from Italy in the 1950's, has made the rounds of a few festivals and won a couple of awards.

Here's the updated list:

• Anim!Arte 2015, 12th International Animation Festival of Brazil, Official Selection.
• Canada Independent Film Festival 2016, Montreal - Official Selection, WINNER, Best Animation.
• The Humboldt International Film Festival 2016, Arcata CA - Official Selection.
• WINNER Ledo Matteoli Award For Best Film With An Immigration Theme.
• SOHO International Film Festival 2016, NYC - Official Selection.
• The Italian Contemporary Film Festival 2016, Canada - Official Selection.
• Athens Animfest 2016, Greece - Official Selection.
• USA Film Festival 2016, Dallas, Texas - Official Selection, Finalist.
• Salento International Film Festival 2016, Italy - Official Selection.
• INTERNATIONAL ANIMATION AWARDS 2016, Rio de Janeiro - WINNER, Short Film Competition
• Montreal International Film Festival 2016 - Official Selection.

• Detroit International Festival of Animation 2017 - Official Selection.

The Detroit festival is coming up on April 7th and 8th, wish I could make it, but alas! I cannot (sad face).

Otherwise I'm pleased as punch.

And ...since the topic of immigration is important right now, I'm making the film available for download through Teachers Pay Teachers. Good fit for social studies and history. There's a very small fee to help me towards my next animation project, "Flowers", so please enjoy!