If you want junk mails shipped to you and help the environment, here are some pointers on how to go about it.

Stop Junk Mail

• If you are tired of getting junk mail week-in and week-out and want to put an end to it you have a choice now – Catalog Choice – Sign up at https://www.catalogchoice.org/
• Direct Marketing Association has a site for you to stop junk mailed to you if you sign up on their site at http://www.dmaichoice.org

Stop it at the source

• To opt out for five years: Call toll-free 1-888-5-OPT-OUT (1-888-567-8688) or visit www.optoutprescreen.com. The phone number and website are operated by the major consumer reporting companies.
• To opt out permanently: You may begin the permanent Opt-Out process online at www.optoutprescreen.com. To complete your request, you must return the signed Permanent Opt-Out Election form, which will be provided after you initiate your online request.

If you don’t access to internet (surprised if you didn’t) then you can directly contact the credit rating agencies with a written request to permanently opt out. Make sure your request includes your home telephone number, name, Social Security number, and date of birth.

• Experian, Opt Out, P.O. Box 919 Allen, TX 75013
• TransUnion, Name Removal Option, P.O. Box 505, Woodlyn, PA 19094
• Equifax, Inc., Options, P.O. Box 740123, Atlanta, GA 30374
• Innovis Consumer Assistance, P.O. Box 495, Pittsburgh, PA 15230

Stop Telemarketing

• You can also sign up to stop telemarketers from bothering you during your dinner time (after a tiring day) by registering at a site run by FTC - Do Not Call

Opt-out of Online Ads

If you want to opt-out of ad targeting by Google, Yahoo and Microsoft here is how you do it

• To opt-out of Google ads by disabling the cookie that tracks your interest at Google Ads Preference
• Opt-out of Microsoft targeting at https://choice.live.com/
• Opt-out of Yahoo at Targeting
• Apple allows you to opt-out of Safari targeting for iOS 4 and above at oo.apple.com

With all the challenges we face in life just living life by itself can become a struggle. In the face of such challenge, persisting with your dreams is not within everybody capability. So this video reinforces the will to continue dreaming and persisting with the dreams.

If you have known me or have read my earlier posts on how we have made a lot of efforts around our home, office and life in general you know where I stand on being green and sustainable. Every activity that we do at home involves factoring in the sustainability aspects. So much so that I thought I was right behind Al Gore on the sustainability activist leader board.

But all that changed on a recent trip to Pismo beach where we stayed in a hotel for three days. While I am against waste of all kinds, I began noticing that my big fat green resolutions were not consistent everywhere. Here’s why

• Leaving the lights on most of the time did not bother me. TV was running even though the sofas, beds, chairs and tables in the room did not like the programming. In my own house it did, very much I might add. Sofas, chairs and tables are not allowed to watch TV by themselves without human supervision.
• My kids wasting food in the complementary continental breakfast lounge did not bother me. In our house wasting food is very much a no-no. We constantly keeping showing our kids the plight of all those kids in Somalia and elsewhere where they are not afforded the simple privilege of a decent meal.
• The same thing applied to water in bathroom, shower, kitchen and you get the drift.

So I started thinking about the grave indifference that I was demonstrating towards activities done at home and away from home. It did not take me a lot of time to figure out why (as you all must have done too). All these precious resources that I hold so dear to my heart and ensure they are spent wisely, was in fact closer to my wallet than to my heart.
The hotels, by providing all these resources unlimited, were releasing this green (of a different kind that is in my wallet) discipline I was having. At home there was this additionally incentive of saving green (money, that is) by being green. The feel-good factor of being green (nature, this time) was an icing on the cake.

As I realized all the green initiatives that I have done at home – the solar attic ventilator, the robust insulation that keeps my house 15 degrees cooler than outside during summer and all the other “noble” things I had done whilst climbing up the Al-Gore sustainability leader board, all happened because there was an implicit/subconscious kickback of sorts to my wallet.

I know this is not a earth-shattering finding – most of you smarter than I, must have already done this calculation before/in doing the project.  Even the though I went into those projects for the real good reason, it somehow was driven by the monetary benefits. The bottom line as they say.

Traveling with children is always stressful. Especially if it involves air travel. With road, you have the latitude to be a little flexible with your time and control the velocity. With air travel, you are pretty much shackled in terms of what can be done. A typical routine would involve

• Get ready 4 hours ahead of the flight
• 2 hours ahead of time at the airport. (3 hours if it is international travel)
• Go through serpentine security check queues. (if you are lucky if no global security incidents have occurred in the recent past then you will be spared the pat-downs)
• Then if you are not a lucky First Class traveler then get ready to be transfered to another queue in front of the boarding gate.

All of the above are best case scenarios. Then if your flight comes and leaves on time then that is all you probably will have to endure. But if you are as lucky as we were this week, then you will have more fun at the airport. (Hooray!!! #1)

After all the scampering (or was it scavenging not sure) that my wife did to find and co-ordinate our travel plans for a long overdue vacation, we found the best flight that would leave Oakland at 6.10am. As you can imagine, that was not our preferred time. (remember shackles).  So we somehow cajoled our kids to sleep early the previous night so we can get up around 3am and leave for the airport. Surprisingly that went much smoother than we had anticipated.  Despite the seemingly weird practice US Airways has of putting all the families with kids at the tail end of the flight, we got situated nicely in seats and the flight started moving on time. The pilot even (prematurely) gave us good news by saying that we might be leaving early and reaching early (Hooray!!! #2). But that was probably the last good news for the day, as the flight only mustered enough wherewithal to reach the tarmac. After which all we saw was a parade of Southwest Airlines flights that kept passing us by. 30 mins past our flight take off time, the pilot said the flight is being canceled due to mechanical failure and we were asked to deplane. So back we were, half drowsy by now, at the boarding gate. 3o minutes later, we were told that a 800 number has been setup to help us find alternatives. I saw some getting refunds and changing plans. We were in no mood to go back home. Remember this vacation was long time coming.

The agent on the 800 number was busy looking and offering me various possibilities from Oakland, admittedly trying to get us to depart from the Oakland airport, to no avail. As if the journey was not already horrendous, the options presented to us were not any better. Then I asked her why can’t we fly out of San Francisco – even if it meant us driving out to San Francisco Airport. “Oh I never considered that” she said and started looking at options there and as luck would have it, we were given a choice between going to San Francisco and taking a Delta Airlines flight 7 hours later or flying another day. And so we ended up coming to San Francisco and when we got there, our luck shined on us again. From what were family seats together in US Airways, we were now given separate seats. All four of us separate. I know, I know. We made the choice to fly instead of choosing to flying another day. They did the best they could given the circumstance. Why am I still bitching then?  This is why – if having separate seats were not enough, all four of them were middle seats. There was no way my young son was going to sit in between to complete strangers (and probably I would not allowed my daughter to do the same).  We asked the desk clerk at the boarding gate and then the attendant (I refuse to call them air-hostess for obvious reasons). She said “I am sorry we cannot do anything but I totally understand your problems” (Did she?) and then got busy with whatever she was doing.
Then my ever industrious wife got into her act and some how convinced the person next my son and a family two seats behind them to move around in what amounts to a three way shuffle and got hers and the two kids seats together. A major league baseball or NBA GM would have been proud of such a three way deal. Don’t think I would have ever done it.  Heck I would have not even asked them (and not got the kids next to one of us). I am too much of an introvert – more happy to give up a good seat than ask for one.

And so we ended up reaching Detroit after 18 hours air travel. Did I mention shackles before?

Facebook has consumed (I mean spare time-wise) the lifes of 600MM+ people around world, yours truly no exception. There is no update too small to not make it to Facebook. Then from thereon the journey of that trivial update takes a life of its own. Many Likes and Shares later, the journey of that update, be it a link or a quirky video keeps traveling through the FB universe to only resurface a few more time.

Amid all these updates, Facebook keeps surfacing up long disconnected friends, relatives, neighbors. It is simply amazing to see people whom you have not heard from or seen in years connect. For that we thank you Facebook.

As I keep rebuilding those frozen-but-not-forgotten relationships, I run into few conundrums. I am sure, as a fellow Facebook junkies, you share these with me too. Would love to hear other conundrums you might be running into.

Conundrum #1 : Know the name, seems familiar, but nada after that.

You get this request from a person whom you faintly remember. You look at the profile of the person and see many of your friends connected to this person and seem to know(read remember) this person. Now you are stuck with this dilemma - do you accept this request or not? If you do – what is going to be the starter conversation? If you don’t accept, does that make me a arse? Will I run into this person and be embarrassed for not recognizing. Is just disregarding the request my safe bet?  I am sure the people I remember and send invites to have the same experience on the other end.

Conundrum  #2: Now that I am connected to childhood buddy, do I inquire about their parents well-being?

You connect with someone after 20 years. 20 years is a long time and the growing population of white hairs on the side of my head is testament to that. Lots of things happen during 20 years and included amongst those are eventualities. Parents get old and end up going to a better place. So how do I or should I broach this topic with a customary “How are your parents doing?” What if they are no longer in this bad evil world ? Or wait it out till that person updates something about their parents and once I checked-and-doubled check the (present) tense in their sentence inquire about their parents’ well-being. I don’t know about you but I have a tough time talking about the topic of “eventuality”. I am still struggling with a loss of a cousin 5 years so much so I barely call his parents.

BTW, this same issues applies to details around spouses, girl-friends and so on.

Conundrum #3: Granted Facebook allow lists to group friends, but who goes where.

Facebook allows you to make lists and group friends into purpose-built circles. While not as good as the Google Circles and painful to send select updates to select list, it also presents challenges on who should you share what. Family albums are meant for friends and family and definitely not for past colleagues. But splitting hair amongst all the multitude of security controls in Facebook (Facebook PMs, are you listening?) it gets crazy and you always feel that one of the friends you allowed to see a photo would comment and that comment would be visible to the other who I kept out. Doesn’t it? I am trusting Facebook security model to not do that but I always have a hard time. Right about now, I share the photos of my kids and other personal stuff with only people very very very close to me.

There are many more quirks and questions I run into on a daily basis using Facebook, but that said, for a introvert like myself, it still gives a great way to stay in touch with those I care about. With Google back at the “social networking” thing with much more vigor, things can only get better, methinks.

A month ago we got hit with a double whammy (if you count the battery in the van it is a triple whammy). In space of a week, our furnace and water heater jointly decided that this world is not interesting anymore and hence call it a day. All the fun behind owning a home – ha?

If my days were not already crazy enough, in California we were in the midst of one of the coldest winters. So it was pretty much like someone held a gun to your head. So we started a rapid research and deployment exercise. (Memo to myself : Use the same squeaky wheel does not get the oil formula you used at work at home too and attend to things that are working just fine).

Water Heater was relatively simple we thought – little did we know that the California code has changed since the last heater was installed. So also the advances in the water heater technologies in terms of efficiencies, ease of maintenance, not to mention the advances in the green paper (;) we need to give in return for a water heater.

So I thought, capturing some of the things we did might be useful for someone who finds themselves in this situation (tis not fun guys, I tell you). Granted it is not earth shattering but consider it as a ready reckoner in times of need. I will cover the water heater part here and get to the furnace part in the next post. Friday Afternoonitis has already kicked in.

Capture your existing Water Heater specifications

1. Check the Capacity in gallons of your existing Water Heater.
2. Check the First Hour Rating (in gallons). This is the capacity in gallons of hot water you might expect to get if you came back from vacation and switched the heater on and used both the bathrooms and kitchen at the same time. Most plumbers say it is  - number of girls in the house times 20. So if it is 3 girls it is 60 gallons.
3. Check the energy efficiency rating. Higher the rating higher the savings. – Basically, it is spend less fuel loss and quicker heating.
4. Check the fuel type – Natural Gas, Electric or Propane Gas.

Note: Natural Gas would over time be cheaper since electricity is expensive (in states like CA especially). If you are on the East Coast, you are probably using oil. Electricity might not be that expensive.

Opportunities to revisit past decisions

1. To go Tankless or stay with Tank water heater. Tankless has been potraiyed as the green thing to do, but for most households with school going kids and working parents – the craziness in the mornings – you are better off with tanked.
2. If you decide to shift allegiance to a new brand and model
   • to go with, check your local utility’s website to see the ones that are classified as energy efficient and chosen for rebates.
   • Check the EnergyStar website to see if the brand and model is rated well.
   • Check on sites like Consumer Reports – you can subscribe for just a month for few dollars
3. Changing location of the water heater, if you have remodeled the house.

Start your hunt for the plumber

1. Identify the Plumbers in your area – using BBB (http://www.bbb.org). If you are one of those who don’t mind paying money , Angie’s List is another option. (I think it is a waste of money if you have to pay when the plumber makes the money).
   • Check the length of the existence of their business
   • Check if they have a A+ rating.
   • Check if there have been any complaints
   • Also see if they have a website and if they do check their services section to see what other services they provide. The more detailed they are on their site, the better your discussion is going to be with them
   • Shortlist the plumbers if they qualify your criteria (Get atleast 3-4 plumbers to give you quote
   • Call all the Plumbers one by one. Here are some things you should ask
     • If they will come and inspect and give you a quote – for free.
     • Ask them if they would not mind giving you  a reference of one of their past customers that you could talk to.
     • Check if they have permit to perform service in your area
     • Ask them if they do both Tankless and Tanked water heater.
     • Ask if they will haul away and dispose the old water heater.
     • Ask what warranty they give on their labor (should something goes wrong later)
     • Ask if they will get city permits or you should do. Some do and some don’t. Factor that cost in your competitive bid analysis. Note: Don’t go with anyone who says permits are not needed. A few extra dollars in permits might save you big in eliminating possibility of bad work. Also permitting ensures the work is done to code and does not come back to bite when you try to sell the house.
     • Check if they will buy the Heater or you should. There are pros and cons to both approaches. If you bought then you will be responsible for shipping and return in case you have problems. If the plumber delivers it as part of the overall replacement, then expect to pay a premium to the market cost of the same heater. You can decide on either route based on how handy you are. We decided to let the Plumber buy it but did the research on brands ahead of time and asked for a specific one we wanted. In case you were curious – we went with Bradford White. The other consideration was Rheem. If you ask me most brands sold in the warehouses are ordinary.

Few Additional things to keep in mind

1. You will find a broad band in the quotes you get. The best price is somewhere in the middle. The lowest quote does not mean the best. We got quotes in the range of $700 to $1400. We went with one around $900 dollars who was more open to our questions, consultative in nature. Also was also ready to come down on the price
2. If you have a natural gas heater, you are required to replace the flex-pipe that connects the gas inlet to the heater. The guys with lower bid might try to suggest, the one still there is good and can be reused.
3. Ask the plumber to show you how to flush the water. You will need to do it periodically – every 10 months would be good – so you don’t allow sediments to settle down and harden.
4. Ask the plumber to show you how to check the Magnesium anode rod. For those who are not aware – the magnesium anode rod – it is a sacrificial rod that prevents corrosion of the water heater from the inside. You should find good articles to read more on that if you searched for Magnesium Anode Rod.
5. If you have never done this before, also ask the plumber to show you how the Pilot is re-lit. This is the flame you ignite at the bottom of the heater for gas to burn and heat the water.

I could go on, but then again my intention is not to make a plumber out of you and put those plumbers out of job. Have a nice weekend.

Have you come across someone who amazed you with a selfless action that took your breath away ?

I met one such person yesterday and needless to say, I was touched by her actions. She is a 3 year old girl named Elizabeth, who I meet every morning, when I drop my son off at school. She accompanies her mom, Michelle, and her little brother, to drop off her older brother at school. She, like her mom, is always charming, polite and wears a smile. Always says a hello to everyone. But what she and her mother did yesterday touched my heart and I wanted to share it with all of you.

What did she do so amazing you might be wondering. She and her mother had a small plastic bag and they were collecting trash from the school grounds and the pavement all along the way from school to her house. I was curious as to why she was doing this and upon query Michelle said – “We are tired of seeing all this trash on the pavement and in the school. I was thinking that at least near the school people would be more conscious of littering. But since that is not the case, Elizabeth and I decided we would pick up the trash as much as we could”.  Isn’t that just a tremendous act of good citizenship?

She could have just as well turned her nose and walked home. Instead, here she was with a small child, showing her toddler what responsibility meant. She was setting an example for her daughter showing the community spirit in her own way. Just before you think it is just a singular act of “doing good” think – “How many of us would carry a trash bag around and pick the trash from our neighborhood – when it is not even a give-back-to-the-community event ?

I walk the same path everyday, but I have become immune to the bits of candy wrappers, the spent coffee cups, the soda cans and other small trash that litter the line the path. I do not throw my trash on the road and I encourage my children to hold their trash till we get home. I pick up the stray twig or branch that maybe obstructing the pavement. But it never occurred to me to pick up someone else’s trash from the road.  Yet here was a mother, who was showing her 3 year old daughter that it is not about what you do not do but what you do that counts.

Today when I ran into Elizabeth, she had a magic wand which she had brought to “help her make the trash disappear”.

Dear Elizabeth, I wish your magic wand will help everyone realize what your mother is teaching you and help them correct their actions. You will grow up to be one fine young lady.

I salute you Michelle and Elizabeth, for showing me what a good citizen means. Maybe tomorrow I will follow your example and pick some trash on my way home.

Have you been to a Birthday party recently ?

Having kids or not, birthday party invitations have become a regular part of our life now.  With our busy schedules, hosting birthday parties at locations like Chuck-e-Cheese, Pump-it-Up, Party Place has become a easy alternative. Besides deciding on the menu, space arrangement, you can even pick a goody bag that you want for the guest (kids). These goody bags  rescue the parents from not having to split hair trying to match gifts with kids’.

Faster they come Faster they go

I would be curious to know what your experience has been with the goody bags kids bring home from birthday parties. In our house, the lifespan of a goody bag is 10 minutes. Once it has been dissected and the organs thrown around, I am left to clean up. Most of the “goodies” that came in the bag will be dismantled to identify their utility and when none found, they find their way to my trash can.  We pretty much followed the “party line” (pun intended) when it came to hosting parties and went for these pre-packaged goodies. I never paid much attention to the usefulness of these toys. They were just party favors that I would fill each bag with – the more of them the merrier I would think.

But as my kids grew older, I got wiser and started scrutinizing each goody bag (we bought and kids brought home). Besides being flimsy, some of the toys are borderline dangerous. Plastic guns, Catapults that shoot small disks etc.

Make ‘em good

While we all aspire to be like my friend Deepa, who carefully shops for the best game or craft according to the interest and age of the child attending her kids’ party, given my patience levels, I will settle for half as good. Come to think of it, while difficult, it is not tough to find better party favors than those we pick up off the shelf. We just have to “look-outside” the party favors aisle. Here are the few suggestions to follow.

1. Always work off of the party list. Make sure to note the age of the invitee.
2. Involve you child in finding the interest of the attendee. If that is not possible then use your child as a guage.
3. As with anything else have a budget in mind. $3-5 per goody bag. There are tons of games that can fit your budget.
4. Don’t just limit yourself to party favors aisle. You will find some better alternatives in the toys/craft section.

If you are short on time, here are some suggestions, you cannot go wrong with.

• for younger children (3-6 years)- crayons, picture books, Play dough.
• for slightly older kids (6 and above)  journals, gel pens, paint kits
• for creative older girls – bracelet kits, kits to make friendship bands
• for older boys – kits to make airplanes, wood craft kits, unfinished bird feeders

Alternatively you can also pick from these choices

• Etch-a-Sketch
• Puzzles,
• Wood picture frames
• Bubble makers
• Beach toys,
• Blowup balls,
• Origami kits
• Activity books too are a great option.

If you look at the costs, most of these do not cost more than all those little trinkets put together. With a little planning and some thought, we can ensure that goody bags are not filled with trinkets that are thrown away. Instead they have something that helps kids enjoy and learn at the same time.

As always don’t forget to take a quick glance at the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s Toy Hazard Recall List before you buy a toy.

Would love to hear your experiences with what you have discovered in kids goody bags. Also go ahead and suggest better toys/favors that can make a goody bag good.

While I consider myself a savvy shopper, I do not fall into the coupon obsession crowd. As I mentioned in my earlier post on frugality, my strategies are different – buy un-seasonally, plan purchases ahead of time. So to begin with, I was a skeptic on the whole group buying phenomenon – GroupOn, SavvySource and Plum District. I needed some more proof of the concept working.

All of these websites, offer a “group deal” usually valid for purchase for a limited time, anywhere between a few hours to a few days. The price that you pay is at a discount of the original price. I would always take the original price with a pinch of salt. You will be forgiven if you thought the price was jacked up only to discount it later. My husband signed me up for Group On email newsletter a while ago – but the nearest location for their deals was San Francisco which is an hour away from where we live. Then I read an article in the East Bay Parent magazine that was hugely complementary of the great benefits that some of these websites offered. I decided to try them out for myself. I joined Plum District and Savvy Source.

For a couple of weeks I casually browsed the deals offered by both these websites, but nothing tempted me enough. But in October, I saw a deal that was too good to be true. It was for an dental exam, cleaning and x-ray for $49. That was less than half the price that my regular dentist charged me. Dental exams are not the first thing you would go about trying at a new place. Dental exams are never fun so I thought why not. I checked with a few more local dentists who could not match the price offered on Plum Deal. I wondered why the deal was being offered by the dentist on Plum Deal. Turns out, they were offering this deal to publicize the opening of their new location. I Yelp-ed them and found out that they had a favorable reputation. Then I went ahead and bought the “deal”. (I have my appointment next week – will definitely update my experience with them then)

Soon after the above experience, I saw one on Savvy Source. It was a for a Annual Family Membership to the Oakland Zoo for the price of $40. The regular price for the family membership to the Zoo is $95. This was a great deal and I was quick to purchase it and also to recommend it to a friend.

While I will be a little wary of any website that touts to offer the best deals in town, I will also be checking these websites’ offers to local museums, activities.

So if you are enthused about this group buying concept and want to give it a try here are some tips to keep in mind

1. Read the fine print – the expiration, gotchas etc.
2. If your deal is valid for a extended period of time, go ahead and set up a calendar reminder so you do not lose track of it.
3. Call the vendor and confirm.
4. Remember that most of the deals are Non-Refundable. So if you are not able to use it – gift it before they expire.
5. If you are buying long term services (annual Spa membership), please make sure that you have means to avail of services or get money back if the vendor closes shop.

If you have had any experiences with any of these group buying services, please do share with me.

Update: I had my dentist appointment yesterday. The dentist clinic was state-of-the-art compared to the me-too dentist clinics I had been going to before. All hi-tech equipment and clinic with TVs in the ceiling while I am on the dentist’s chair. I have to say it a men’s paradise. They will not miss a minute of NFL on Sundays even while they are on the dentist’s chair. The dentist looked at my teeth and x-rays of my teeth, finished the cleaning and I was out in under 30 minutes.  Just out of curiosity and now with the taste of extremely subsidized (“deal”), I asked the dentist what the regular price of the same appointment would be without the Plum Deal. It turns out the price was 3 times more. Needless to say, it would be the last time we would be visiting them.

We choose our friends based on our likes, hence we get along. We don’t get to choose our families,  hence we ought to learn to get along.

Can you guess whose quote this is? If you started thinking about some philosopher then you have definitely taken the wrong exit. It is a quote from the cartoon series “Anne of Green Gables”. Who knew that cartoons can impart such wisdom. But it is such a profound statement that got me thinking of what it meant to the family, how it applied to our kids.

I have 2 kids who get along with each other extremely well. But I would be lying if I said, everyday is Pleasantville. There are days when I feel like I am a referee in the middle of a baseball brawl. I am constantly separating them from going at each other or stop tearing a toy apart. Over the years, I have learned and employed a few tricks that have worked well for me. Some of these tricks have been adopted by my friends as well. Here goes.

• Remove the obstacle – When my kids fight over toys, I watch. I give them time to resolve their differences amicably. If the conflict goes on for a long time, I simply step in and take the toy away. I did this a lot when they were younger and when I was trying to teach them sharing and co-operation. Taking the toy away meant that neither of them got to play with it and that was really hard for them. Slowly as they grew older, we taught them how to share playing time with the toy by giving them a set amount of time before they had to hand the toy over to the sibling. This helped them learn how to tell time very quickly and also a little bit of patience.
• Clean up or lose them – One of the major problems I have is when the kids take all the toys out strew them all over the house (and especially during a play date) and at the end of the day, go to bed blissfully leaving the mess behind. I am not a super-clean freak, but I do like things to be put back in their place when not in use. So we have a rule in our house, 10 minutes before dinner is clean up time. Just gather up all toys and place them in a basket or on the shelf. A few times I have had kids refusing to do that. So I decided, I am not going to be the one to tidy up. After a warning that went unheeded, I took a fresh trash bag, and gathered up all the toys that were strewn around and pretended to throw then away. That was the last day,  I had to remind them to clean up or they knew their toys would be cleaned out.
• Divide and Conquer – A few weeks ago after a long day of separating 2 fierce kids getting on each others nerves, I decided to teach them the lesson of solitude. I separated them, sent each to a different room and forbade them from playing together for almost half a day. They are so used to having a companion in each other to play that, just being forced to sit apart, forced them to re-evaluate the joys of having a sibling to play with. After the “time-out” was over, I was happy to see them play well without conflicts for the rest of the weekend. I have used this tactic well since then. I just have to warn them that if I see them fighting, they will be separated for the rest of the day. This forces them into good behavior. I am sure, child psychologists and other savvy moms will reprimand me for forcing my children into good behavior. But I think, just like adults, children need some time to think over what is important for them. Once they figure that out, they will make the right choice.
• Birds of a feather flock together – A friend of mine took a different approach. While I found it hilarious, as she narrated it, she has had success with her approach. When her kids started fighting with each other over every single thing – from TV program to where to sit etc., she decided to teach them how to get along. She basically left them in the same room all to themselves. They were not allowed to get out till they figured out a way to get along with each other. It took them a day to come to an understanding, but eventually they realized with a little negotiation, they can be civil to each and accomplish what they want without any skirmishes. This method is great if the children are a little older and can use words respectfully to achieve the goal.

What do you guys think? Curious to know how other parents deal with similar situations. Share your thoughts through comments.