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These are from a book called ‘Disorder in the American Courts‘ and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

—

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

—

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.

—

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

—

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: getting laid

—

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new

attorney?

—

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.

—

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.

—

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition

notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

—

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead

people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

—

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

—

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?*

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.*

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

—

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

—

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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Just so you know I get this when I click on the link:

Trend Micro URL Filter has blocked the requested Web URL by Credibility Level.

URL: http://litwc.com/2009/06/04/a-list-of-220-california-state-parks-possibly-closed/… Read More

Category: Hacking / Proxy Avoidance

Credibility Level: Dangerous

Now in looking I could find no place on their site to try and resolve this easily. So I posted a request through their sales desk:

Hello, my name is Patrick Havens.

I’ve just had a friend notify me that my site was blocked by your Trend Micro URL Filter.

– QUOTE –
Trend Micro URL Filter has blocked the requested Web URL by Credibility Level.

URL: http://litwc.com/2009/06/04/a-list-of-220-california-state-parks-possibly-closed/… Read More

Category: Hacking / Proxy Avoidance

Credibility Level: Dangerous

—————

Considering the fact that domain actually has a secure certificate, and has been in existence for years. Plus the fact that blog has been around for years I’m not sure how the credibility is in question. Plus I’m not sure how it got labeled for Hacking/Proxy Avoidance. I do touch on a number of subjects, but off hand I can’t remember an article related as such. But to be considered “Dangerous”?

Please let me know how I can “safelist” my site.

As you can sorta see I’m at a loss for words per say. I do have the request in, and I hope to see this resolved soon.

These are the 220 state parks, state beaches, state recreation areas, museums and state reserves that officials say would be closed under Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s proposed budget cuts:

1. Leo Carrillo State Park.

2. Los Angeles State Historic Park.

3. Los Encinos State Historic Park.

4. Malibu Creek State Park.

5. Malibu Lagoon State Beach.

6. Pio Pico State Historic Park.

7. Point Mugu State Park.

8. Rio de Los Angeles State Park.

9. Robert H. Meyer Memorial State Beach.

10. Santa Susana Pass State Historic Park.

11. Topanga State Park.

12. Verdugo Mountains.

13. Will Rogers State Historic Park.

14. California State Capitol Museum.

15. Governor’s Mansion State Historic Park

16. Leland Stanford Mansion State Historic Park.

17. Railtown 1897 State Historic Park.

18. State Indian Museum State Historic Park.

19. Sutter’s Fort State Historic Park.

20. Bethany Reservoir State Recreation Area.

21. Calaveras Big Trees State Park.

22. California Mining & Mineral Museum.

23. Caswell Memorial State Park.

24. Columbia State Historic Park.

25. George J. Hatfield State Recreation Area.

26. Great Valley Grasslands State Park.

27. Indian Grinding Rock State Historic Park.

28. McConnell State Recreation Area.

29. Carpinteria State Beach.

30. Chumash Painted Cave State Historic Park.

31. El Capitan State Beach.

32. Emma Wood State Beach.

33. Gaviota State Park.

34. La Purisima Mission State Historic Park.

35. McGrath State Beach.

36. Point Sal State Beach.

37. Refugio State Beach.

38. San Buenaventura State Beach.

39. Anza-Borrego Desert State Park.

40. Cuyamaca Rancho State Park.

41. Indio Hills Palms.

42. Palomar Mountain State Park.

43. Picacho State Recreation Area.

44. Salton Sea State Recreation Area.

45. Annadel State Park.

46. Bale Grist Mill State Historic Park.

47. Benicia Capitol State Historic Park.

48. Benicia State Recreation Area.

49. Bothe-Napa Valley State Park.

50. Candlestick Point State Recreation Area.

51. East Shore State Park State Shoreline.

52. Jack London State Historic Park.

53. John Marsh Home State Historic Park.

54. Mount Diablo State Park.

55. Petaluma Adobe State Historic Park.

56. Robert Louis Stevenson State Park.

57. Sonoma State Historic Park.

58. Sugarloaf Ridge State Park.

59. Brannan Island State Recreation Area.

60. Delta Meadows.

61. Folsom Powerhouse State Historic Park.

62. Franks Tract State Recreation Area.

63. Marshall Gold Discovery State Historic Park

64. Stone Lake.

65. California Citrus State Historic Park.

66. Chino Hills State Park.

67. Mount San Jacinto State Park.

68. San Timoteo Canyon.

69. Wildwood Canyon.

70. Angel Island State Park.

71. China Camp State Park.

72. Mount Tamalpais State Park.

73. Olompali State Historic Park.

74. Samuel P. Taylor State Park.

75. Tomales Bay State Park.

76. Caspar Headlands State Beach.

77. Caspar Headlands State Natural Reserve.

78. Greenwood State Beach.

79. Hendy Woods State Park.

80. Jug Handle State Natural Reserve.

81. MacKerricher State Park.

82. Mailliard Redwoods State Natural Reserve.

83. Manchester State Park.

84. Mendocino Headlands State Park.

85. Montgomery Woods State Natural Reserve.

86. Navarro River Redwoods State Park.

87. Point Cabrillo Light Station.

88. Russian Gulch State Park.

89. Schooner Gulch State Beach.

90. Van Damme State Park.

91. Westport-Union Landing State Beach.

92. Andrew Molera State Park.

93. Carmel River State Beach.

94. Fort Ord Dunes State Park.

95. Fremont Peak State Park.

96. Garrapata State Park.

97. Hatton Canyon.

98. Henry W. Coe State Park.

99. John Little State Natural Reserve.

100. Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park.

101. Marina State Beach.

102. Monterey State Beach.

103. Monterey State Historic Park.

104. Moss Landing State Beach.

105. Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park.

106. Point Lobos Ranch.

107. Point Lobos State Natural Reserve.

108. Point Sur State Historic Park.

109. Salinas River State Beach.

110. San Juan Bautista State Historic Park.

111. Zmudowski State Beach.

112. Admiral William Standley State Recreation Area.

113. Azalea State Natural Reserve.

114. Benbow Lake State Recreation Area.

115. Del Norte Coast Redwoods State Park.

116. Fort Humboldt State Historic Park.

117. Grizzly Creek Redwoods State Park.

118. Harry A. Merlo State Recreation Area.

119. Humboldt Lagoons State Park.

120. Humboldt Redwoods State Park.

121. Jedediah Smith Redwoods State Park.

122. John B. Dewitt Redwoods State Natural Reserve.

123. Little River State Beach.

124. Patrick’s Point State Park.

125. Pelican State Beach.

126. Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park.

127. Reynolds Wayside Campground.

128. Richardson Grove State Park.

129. Sinkyone Wilderness State Park.

130. Smithe Redwoods State Natural Reserve.

131. Standish-Hickey State Recreation Area.

132. Tolowa Dunes State Park.

133. Trinidad State Beach.

134. Ahjumawi Lava Springs State Park.

135. Anderson Marsh State Historic Park.

136. Bidwell Mansion State Historic Park.

137. Bidwell-Sacramento River State Park.

138. Castle Crags State Park.

139. Colusa-Sacramento River State Recreation Area.

140. McArthur-Burney Falls Memorial State Park.

141. Shasta State Historic Park.

142. Weaverville Joss House State Historic Park.

143. William B. Ide Adobe State Historic Park.

144. Woodson Bridge State Recreation Area.

145. Pismo State Beach.

146. Armstrong Redwoods State Natural Reserve.

147. Austin Creek State Recreation Area.

148. Fort Ross State Historic Park.

149. Kruse Rhododendron State Natural Reserve.

150. Salt Point State Park.

151. Sonoma Coast State Park.

152. Border Field State Park.

153. Carlsbad State Beach.

154. San Pasqual Battlefield State Historic Park.

155. Silver Strand State Beach.

156. Torrey Pines State Beach.

157. Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve.

158. Estero Bluffs State Park.

159. Hearst San Simeon State Park.

160. Limekiln State Park.

161. Los Osos Oaks State Natural Reserve.

162. Monta–a de Oro State Park.

163. Morro Bay State Park.

164. Morro Strand State Beach.

165. William Randolph Hearst Memorial State Beach.

166. A–o Nuevo State Natural Reserve.

167. A–o Nuevo State Park.

168. Bean Hollow State Beach.

169. Big Basin Redwoods State Park.

170. Burleigh H. Murray Ranch.

171. Butano State Park.

172. Castle Rock State Park.

173. Castro Adobe (Rancho San Andres).

174. Gray Whale Cove State Beach.

175. Half Moon Bay State Beach.

176. Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park.

177. Lighthouse Field State Beach.

178. Manresa State Beach.

179. Montara State Beach.

180. Natural Bridges State Beach.

181. New Brighton State Beach.

182. Pescadero State Beach.

183. Point Montara Light Station.

184. Pomponio State Beach.

185. Portola Redwoods State Park.

186. San Gregorio State Beach.

187. Santa Cruz Mission State Historic Park.

188. Seacliff State Beach.

189. Sunset State Beach.

190. The Forest of Nisene Marks State Park.

191. Thornton State Beach.

192. Twin Lakes State Beach.

193. Wilder Ranch State Park.

194. Bodie State Historic Park.

195. Burton Creek State Park.

196. D.L. Bliss State Park.

197. Donner Memorial State Park.

198. Ed Z’berg Sugar Pine Point State Park.

199. Emerald Bay State Park.

200. Empire Mine State Historic Park.

201. Grover Hot Springs State Park.

202. Kings Beach State Recreation Area.

203. Lake Valley State Recreation Area.

204. Malakoff Diggins State Historic Park.

205. Mono Lake Tufa State Natural Reserve.

206. Plumas-Eureka State Park.

207. South Yuba River State Park.

208. Tahoe State Recreation Area.

209. Ward Creek.

210. Washoe Meadows State Park.

211. Antelope Valley California Poppy Reserve.

212. Antelope Valley Indian Museum.

213. Arthur B. Ripley Desert Woodland State Park.

214. Colonel Allensworth State Historic Park.

215. Fort Tejon State Historic Park.

216. Providence Mountains State Recreation Area.

217. Red Rock Canyon State Park.

218. Saddleback Butte State Park.

219. Tomo-Kahni State Historic Park.

220. Tule Elk State Natural Reserve.

[via Marin Independent Journal]

Those that say we should just cut some… They did education, they’ve done Prisons (but not enough), now the State Parks.

What would you like next?

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A northwestern Pennsylvania newspaper is apologizing for running a classified advertisement calling for the assassination of President Barack Obama.

Warren Times Observer Publisher John Elchert says the ad appeared Thursday. It read, “May Obama follow in the steps of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy!” The four presidents were all assassinated.

Elchert tells The Associated Press that the newspaper’s advertising staff didn’t make the historical connection.

He says the newspaper turned information over to police and that the Secret Service is investigating the person who placed the ad.

A note in Friday’s paper says the newspaper “apologizes for the oversight.”

[via Philly.com]

I’m currently laughing because editors miss things all the time, yet you know SOMEONE saw the ad, and quite possibly a dozen or more.  And the fact no one called down on it either means the staff wasn’t smart enough to recognize the references or that the management has too tight of a control on the editing that people feared noting it.  In both cases a Ooops should be soon followed by a report on the arrest or “conversation with” a suspect.

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ALOHA – For most folks it’s not a dilemma. Given a choice between “a day without sunshine” and a day without jail time, most people will skip the orange juice and stay out of jail.

But Raibin Raof Osman isn’t most people. The 20-year-old Aloha man had a sleep-over at the Washington County Jail on Memorial Day after calling 9-1-1 to complain that McDonald’s left out a box of orange juice from his drive-thru order.

Osman was booked Monday night on accusations of improper use of 9-1-1. He bailed out Tuesday. The offense is a Class B misdemeanor punishable in Oregon by up to six months in jail and a fine of $2,500.

The 9-1-1 call

“We ordered some food,” Osman told dispatchers at 11:41 p.m., calling on his cell phone from the restaurant at 19525 S.W. TV Highway in Aloha.

Osman told dispatchers the drive-thru attendant was laughing at his brother because he could not speak English very well.

“That’s why I called,” he said. “She the employee who waited on him at the drive-thru window was being rude.”

A restaurant employee later called 9-1-1 to report that Osman and others who were with him were blocking the drive-thru lane, knocking on restaurant windows and intimidating employees.

Osman could not be reached for comment.

When sheriff’s deputies arrived at the McDonald’s, Osman was unwilling to listen to deputies explain that 9-1-1 wasn’t in the business of straightening out fast food orders, said Sgt. David Thompson, spokesman for the Washington County Sheriff’s Office.

“The deputy basically said, ‘You can’t use 9-1-1 for that reason,’” Thompson explained. “It’s not an emergency. Osman said he didn’t know how to get the non-emergency number. The guy had a Blackberry. He could have dialed 4-1-1 or got it off the Internet. There are payphones all over the parking lot, with phonebooks hanging from them.

“He could have come up with the non-emergency number just like everyone else does.”

Thompson said Osman tried to argue that he had the legal right to call the police.

“He said it was a ‘freedom of speech’ issue,” Thompson said. “He was not open to having the deputy educate him.”

So Osman was taken to jail. His education

[via OregonLive.com]

I swear, I see a ton of these stories, but when i mention them, I get told that no one would be “that stupid.”  Just like a little kid calling 9-1-1 to complain about his/her parents grounding them.  This kid (yes I noticed his age) will hopefully learn that “call in an emergency” means that ONLY.

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