Live Life to Fullest

The Rhythm of Life

Lou Macabasco — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 15:38:50 +0000

Today, we live in a too busy and competitive world. Each day we rush from one place to another doing multiple tasks and activities. Thanks to technological advancement, it is much easier to do things more efficiently and with flexibility. But the downside of this advancement is that we let it create a more stressful and busy lifestyle instead of using it to make things much easier.

Because of this hurried and getting-ahead lifestyle, most of us live each day working much harder. We seldom find time to relax and enjoy the so much things life has to offer. Oftentimes, we live our life to survive instead of making the most of it, by living to the fullest. And then we wake up one day, regretting things we have and have not done. Or we’re already too old to enjoy life. Only in that moment we will realize how much good things we’ve missed along the way.

With too many things to do, most of the time, we find ourselves taken by the speed of a bullet train. Our usual routine becomes a fast trail of getting up early morning, have a “quick” bath and breakfast, ride our way to work, meet all but everything about our work, stay up late working hard, then ride the last trip on our way home, and sleep our way without checking up our children and wife or even consider praying and reflecting.

Oftentimes we forget that Life is temporary and it’s a one way journey. Every second we do not live our life to the fullest, is a second that is wasted.

If today is the last day you’ll live, assuming you’re near the end of the tunnel of your life, will you be able to say you’ve lived it fully? Are you ready to give up your life knowing you’ve lived it well and you’re not regretting anything?

I urge you to take a break on your busy schedule and give time to reflect about your life. And as you choose to reflect and meditate, I would like to share with you simple truths of life.

Life is best lived with a rhythm.

The reason most of us are trapped by the hurried and competitive lifestyle is because we want to get ahead and stay on the playing field as winners. We are always trying to compete with others, may it be power, prestige, wealth or social acceptance. As we continue competing with others, we don’t realize that we are most often competing with our true self as well. We neglect to contemplate our true values and desires. And as such, it leads us to be unhappy and not contented with our life. We seldom reflect on what can truly make us happy and fulfilled with our life.

To illustrate better, I’d share with you Three (3) Rhythms of Life.

In my illustration, I’d like to emphasize that Life is a lot like music, it has rhythm. The beauty of music is the same as life. And here’s why:

1) Straight Upward Rhythm

Imagine if a musical rhythm is constantly going upward. From the time it starts until it reached the end, it went only upward. Does it sound nice? More so, how far can it be reachable?

The same is true with life. There are a lot of people who are living and constantly aiming for a straight upward life, with no mistakes, no risk and perfectly acceptable in society. Oftentimes, those who pursue this kind of life experience are vulnerable to depressions and anxieties especially when things are not going the way they want it. And the more they try to live a perfect life, the unhappy and boring their life gets.

2) Straight Downward Rhythm

On the reverse side, imagine if a musical rhythm is constantly going downward, from start until the end. Does it also sound nice and how far can it be reachable?

Similar with life, a lot of people are living and drowning to constant straight downward life. These types of people are often those who lose hope in their life and are just simply living and accepting what life throws them without doing anything. They let life happens for them instead of taking control of their life. Often, these types of people are those who defend on others to sustain their needs, wants or even their life itself. Similarly, these people end up with low self-esteem, unhappiness and lack of progress in their life.

3) Upward and Downward Rhythm

Similar to life, a great music comes from a rhythm with ups and downs that brings out a beautiful melody.

In life, most successful and happy people are those who does not do things perfectly and who have experienced multiple failures. These kinds of people are often the ones who are able to live their life to the fullest. They enjoy both the success and failures of their life. Oftentimes, they are happy and contented with their life in whatever circumstance, be it through failure or success.

What about you, what kind of life are you leading? Remember,

Life is a journey of ups and downs. And like music, its beauty is found with melody.

10 Daily Promises You Must Make With Yourself

Lou Macabasco — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 06:51:49 +0000

Every day is a new life of challenges and experiences. It brings both joyful memories to cherish, as well as, problems to overcome.

Life was made in balance. It was originally revolving in a balanced stated until humans created reasons to bring imbalance. The imbalance is greatly felt in our society just by looking at the great distance of successful people against those that are not. Also it created the reason why there are rich people and poor people. And the reason why there are people who are happy with their lives while others are crying in misery.

However, despite such great imbalance and difference, you have the power to choose which side you would want to belong. Most of us aim to be at the positive side, the happy, prosperous and successful life, but sadly, only few of us does. And instead of taking this situation as inspiration and motivation to move into this great side of life, most people just cry in misery, complain and blame their misfortunes to others or destiny.

But you are different, for beginning today, you will create daily vows to promise yourself and act upon until you achieve success, happiness and prosperity in your life.

This post will give you 10 Daily Vows you need to live by to begin living and attracting the positivity, such as success, happiness and prosperity, that life has to offer.

You may print this article and post it in a place you can easily see. Everyday, read it twice, from the time you wake up and before you go to sleep.

Now, let’s begin your vow:

1. I Will Begin a New Life Everyday

Today I am a new man, I’ll burn my old skin that lead me to suffering and mediocre. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on the greater achievements of the future. I will form good habits and become their slaves. For now I know, that the difference between those who failed and those who have succeeded lies in the difference of their habits.

2. I Will Greet this Day with Love in my Heart

This is the greatest secret of success in all ventures, the power of reciprocity, I get what I give. When I love what you do, it brings out the best in me. When I give love, I receive love. I will always dig for reasons to applaud instead of looking for reasons to excuse and complain. I will look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true. I will think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.

3. I Will Talk of Positivity to Every Person I Meet

Things such as good health, happiness and prosperity. I understand that attitude is everything and it is contagious. If I want to create and change a negative environment into a positive one, I have to start with myself. I will avoid topics of negativity with other people. I will find ways or suggest them to others to turn negative things into positive. It won’t only bring me prosperity, happiness, success and good health, but also like virus, will affect others to stay positive. I will make people feel that there is something good in them, instead of criticizing. I will give so much time in improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

4. I Will Be Strong

So strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind. It doesn’t mean I won’t cry, it means I’m daring to cry and be willing to carry on after that. It doesn’t mean I’m avoiding truth, it means accepting it, learning from it and dealing with it head on. Strong enough to have the capability and courage to stand persistently despite the blows of change. I will be too large for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

5. I Will Persist Until I Succeed

Each day, my life is tested in a lot of manner. If I continue to try, if I continue to move forward, I will succeed. I will not hear those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. I will build my castle one brick at a time for that small attempts repeated will complete any undertakings. I’ll remember that each frown I meet only prepares me for the smile to come. Each misfortune I encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow’s good luck. I will remember that I must have the night to appreciate the day.

6. I Will Live this Day as if it is My Last

I will not waste a moment of my life mourning yesterday’s misfortune, defeats, problems and heartaches. This day is all I have and these hours are now my eternity. I will fill my heart with gratitude each minute of this day. If I waste today, I destroy a page in my life. I will treat each day as treasure that can never return. My life cannot be banked today to be withdrawn tomorrow. However, I won’t use this as an excuse to procrastinate and delay my actions because I will also recognize that duties of today I should fulfil today.

7. I Will Be the Master of My Emotions

Unless my mood is right the day will be a failure. I will master my emotions so that every day is a happy and productive day. Every day, I will be happy. I will do this by choosing happiness. If I wake up and I feel sad, I will sing or listen to songs of positivity and happiness. It will not only entertain me but will help me shift my mood back to positivity. If I feel sad, I will laugh. I’ll watch comedy movies or read funny comics. If I feel ill, I will double my labor. If I feel poverty, I will think of wealth to come. If I feel incompetent, I will remember my past successes. If I fear, I will move one step forward. If I feel insignificant, I will remember my goals. I will always remember that misery is a choice, the same as happiness.

8. I Will Laugh at the World

I will always remember to never allow myself to become so important, so wise, so dignified, so powerful, that I forget to laugh at myself and the world. For I know that only with laughter and happiness can I truly become a success and enjoy the fruit of my labours. As long as I can laugh, I will not be poor. On the other hand, I will not expect the world be the first to treat me rightfully, cheerfully and respectfully, but instead I will begin with myself and treat others the same. I will wear a cheerful face at all times and give every living creature I meet a smile. I will be just as enthusiastic and happy about the success of others as I am about my own.

9. I Will Multiply My Value a Hundredfold

I am like a grain of wheat that can face three future: 1) be placed in the sack and dumped to become a wine, 2) be ground to flour and become bread or 3) be placed in the earth and allowed to grow and multiply. Unlike a grain, I have a choice which future do I want to come to reality. I have a choice to how I want my future take fold. I can set my goals for the day, week, month, year or a lifetime. I can set my objectives before my life will crystallize and happen for me. In setting my goals, I will consider my best performance in the past and multiply them. As well as recognize my failure, to improve them or totally let them go. I will not look into my failures, despairs and disappointments as hindrance to life, but take them as lessons and experience to do much better now and in the future

10. I will act now

I will remember that all my dreams are worthless, my plans and goals are impossible, all are of no value unless I follow them with action. My goals are a living action. I will not avoid the task of today and charge them to tomorrow for I know tomorrow never comes.. I will act now even though my actions may not bring happiness or success , for it is better to act and fail than not to act and struggle. Tomorrow is a day reserved for the labor of the lazy, and I am not lazy. This is my time, this is my place and I am the man.

Remember, that change doesn’t happen overnight, as well as success and happiness does not. It happens through continuous habits and actions that brings prosperity, success and happiness in life. You may not have them now, but you can, if you just constantly promise yourself in improving the habits, mindset and attitudes in your day to day approach with life.

12 Easy Steps to Create Positive Self-Talk Leading to Your Success

Lou Macabasco — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 01:11:40 +0000

GuestPost by: Sonia Gallagher, Esq.

Sonia is an Executive Life Coach. She help lawyers, professionals, and business owners take control over the direction of their professional lives and create sustainable businesses that reflect what is most important to them. Visit her site: www.timeforlifenow.com

Have you ever noticed a trend in the thinking patterns of successful people? Have you ever wondered why it seems like success comes so easily to some people and so difficult for others?

It all has to do with your beliefs and self-talk.

People that achieve success in a consistent basis have one thing in common. Whether they are successful athletes, executives, business owners, or artists, they all know that they will succeed. They know this before they even attempt to achieve the goal they set out for themselves. They envision themselves living the way they want to live and feeling the excitement, gratitude, and the sense of accomplishment that comes from reaching what they set out to do.

Positive self-talk is the dialogue that goes on in your mind. It is where you believe in yourself and are confident in your capabilities to the point that you are certain that you will succeed. Here is a list of steps you can take to create positive self-talk to get ahead in life.

1. Choose to Create Positive Self-Talk

When you realize the enormous power that thoughts have over your actions and view of life, you should make a decision to stop living your life with self-imposed limitations. Once you opt for a life filled with opportunities, potential, and fulfillment, you take the most important step to creating the reality you desire.

2. Feed Your Mind

Choose to look for good things to focus your thinking on. Focus your attention on positive, uplifting, and encouraging words to say to yourself. For example: I dont have to finish everything in my task list today or Dealing with this client will make me a more patient person. Choose to look for the silver lining.

3. Practice Persistence

Now that you realize that your self-talk has been going on for decades, you must know that taking back control over your self-talk will not happen overnight. It is a progress that will require your effort.

Continue to find ways to remind yourself to stop and analyze any negative self-talk and to counter it with a positive message to yourself. As you do this, it will become easier. You will reach a point where you do this without realizing it and building your positive self-talk will actually become second nature.

4. Observe Your Self-Talk

Try to relate to your thoughts as scenes in a movie theater screen. When you put yourself in the role of a third party or outsider, it is a lot easier to practice neutrality and to see a situation for what it really is. By becoming an observer of your thoughts and self-talk, you are better able to assess their validity or lack thereof in each thought or thinking pattern. In time, you will also be more apt to seeing trends in triggers that cause the negative self-talk to take place.

5. Re-frame Your Thinking

When you become aware of having a negative thought, give it a positive spin. For example, if your self-talk tells you Im never going to get the promotion. Im late to work yet again!; remove the negative opinion and the judgment from it. Then, you can reframe it into a more positive message like I was late to the office today, what can I do or avoid doing to get here on time? Dont allow your self-talk to beat you up so much. Take control of it and give them a spin. Focus on how you can avoid doing the behavior again.

6. Watch for Absolutes

A lot of people have a tendency to use phrases like I always, I never, or I am with negative self-talk. These phrases can be terribly harmful to you. They create an instant limitation on you and your capacity for change. Avoid them at all costs. A good way of doing this is asking yourself questions regarding the self-talk message.

7. Ask Yourself Questions

Ask yourself questions like: 1. What led me to this thought?, 2. What would be a better solution or way to handle the situation Im facing?, 3. What would allow me to overcome this challenge?, 4. What is another potential outcome in this situation?, 5. What would be the worst thing that could happen?, 6. If the worst thing that could happen did happen, how would that affect me? Is the effect really that bad? Is it fatal? These questions are a great way of combating limiting self-talk.

8. Stop the Thought

While you are in the middle of listening to your negative self-talk, stop your thoughts mid-stream by saying Stop. If your surroundings allow you to say this out loud, do so. The physical act of saying stop out loud will make you better aware of the frequency in which you are stopping negative thoughts, when it happens, where you are when it happens, and what is happening right before it.

9. Rubber-Band Snap

Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it each time you hear negative self-talk in your mind. If you cant say Stop out loud, this is a great alternative. The physical pain you feel from this action will be a huge motivator in stopping the negative self-talk.

10. Replace Negative Self-talk with Other Messages

A lot of people find it easier to replace negative self-talk with positive messages than to remove self-talk altogether. Some things you can do to replace your negative self-talk are: A. Use more gentle words to refer to yourself and to situations. (For example instead of thinking I hate being late, replace that thought with I really dont like being late.) and B. Change Limiting Self-talk like I cant win this case! or Im not going to be able to get that client! to questions like Why would I not win this case? and What can I do to prepare for it better?

Self-limiting statements are extremely harmful. They not only increase your stress in response to a situation but paralyze you from finding solutions to the problem. Replace these thoughts with questions instead. This way, youll be in the right frame of mind for finding ways to solve the problem. Asking yourself, How can I win this case? or What can I do to get that client? is much more empowering, isnt it?

11. Learn Discipline

View your practice of removing and changing your negative self-talk like you would a work out plan. You are not going to see results right away but will feel great once you do. Just like there will be days where you are not motivated to go to the gym, there will also be days where you are not motivated to keep track of your negative self-talk or counter it with positive messages. Doing it however helps us develop our discipline and drive.

It gives us a sense of pride for our accomplishment and a sense of control over our life. Its an incredible boost of confidence!

12. Modify the Golden Rule

We are creatures of habit. Its no wonder how easily we can fall into patterns of self destructive thoughts and behavior. Instead of continuing to be your own worst critic, teach yourself to be your best support. Be respectful to yourself and treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness that you would treat others around you. Dont say anything to yourself that you wouldnt want another person to say to you.

The Diminishing Worth of Humans

Lou Macabasco — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 08:27:51 +0000

As I have observed, we are now living in a time where human worth is declining. The scary part is that it is decreasing in a fast pace each year and majority are unaware of their decreasing value that’s why people live a complacent life expecting things to be the same or pressuring the government and employer to do something to lift their stature.
The technological and innovative advancement brought about by the “information age” is bringing about this decreasing worth. Because of these innovations and technology, life became much easier, faster, efficient and accurate, thanks to all the computers , software and other high-tech machines. And the more new technologies and innovation that goes out, it brings much efficient and lighter ways to get things done, and the more human value decreases.
Did you ever wonder:

Why more and more people are getting unemployed?
Why the salary and benefit package of employers aren’t too appealing to what you’ve expected?
Why big companies are closing down?
Why outsourcing firms are so in?
Why the branded stuff you bought and wear are made in china?
Why professionals are still poor and broke?
Why job security and prestige isn’t that secured and prestigious as it used to?
Why retirement benefits given by companies is an ancient history?
Why job handled by one person is 10x than usual and increasing each year?
Why you can’t remember and apply the lessons you’ve learned in school?
And the list goes on..

The transition of traditional age to information age brought about so many changes in our world. It changes the way we think, act, communicate and find one’s self-worth. It also brought about the financial and emotional crisis that humans suffer to, like being broke, stressed or not knowing one’s purpose.
Many of us see this innovation and technological advancement as something to entertain us, to make us get away of the real problems that’s causing hardship in our life. We use this change as shield to cover the real problem instead of taking this opportunity to grow yourself, personally and financially. The more we shield ourselves from the real problem, the more hardship we faced in life and the more our worth as humans decreases.
As you know, innovation and technology is fast changing, what you know right at this moment may become easily obsolete next month. A lot are guilty by this simple truth, “Most people stop learning and growing themselves after they’ve graduated college”. People becomes too complacent after graduating college, thinking it’s already enough for them to face the challenge of the real world. But then, they complain and be miserable why they aren’t getting the success and dreams that they’ve wanted and expected after graduating.
Being a full-time entrepreneur, I have the privilege to have the time to do things other than sitting in my previous cubicle office, and I’ve used such privilege to go out and observe. And as I’ve observe, I see and deal with a lot of people, from the walking vendor outside the house, to the car mechanic that does the heavy duty of fixing cars, the jobless young person just waiting for life to happen outside their house, the corporate professional wearing a gorgeous expensive suit but with a stressed and unpleasant facial expression, and up to a young man wearing simple short and shirt but has the time and money to live by. In my observation, I’ve come to categorized 4 types of people:

The Hard-Worker
The Lazy Boy
The Poor Master
The Wealthy Jack-Of-All-Trade

The Hard-Worker

Majority of the people falls into this category. They work 8 hours a day, 7 days a week doing the usual job they’ve been doing the couple of years. Most of these people do all the dirty, heavy, rank and file works then take home the lowest salary. Yet they give their best in accomplishing the jobs.

I have two ironic sentiments for these type of people, respect and pity. I truly respect them for they give value and pride to what they do, and without them, problems and task wouldn’t be solved. However, I pity them as well, for these people falls in the trap of the “diminishing worth of human”. They are the most affected.

Despite giving their best in their job, their position is the easiest to outsource or replace. And such, the value of what they do, even how much quality they give into it, is too low to what they deserve. Yet they can’t do anything to lift their stature, all they can do is accept it. Because it’s better to have a job than be replaced.

The Lazy Boy

The good news is that right now, only few of the world’s population fall into this category. These type of people does one thing, and that’s nothing. They let life happens for them and depend their existence to other people.

If there’s one progress killer is expecting things to change when you do not do anything. And when life gets hard, you fret, complain, and blame others for your misfortune.

I’ve always believed in the saying, “You get what you give”. Expect progress to come if you give out something to create such progress. But if you continue watching, sleeping and picking your nose the whole day, well, you know what progress will come to you.

It is undoubtedly expected that these people will die of hunger as the years pass by. It will be much harder for them to cope in the fast diminishing worth of humans. But you know, it’s never too late to start now.

The Poor Master

Truth hurts, but it’s still the truth.

I was once a victim of this category. I’m a professional, back in college, I’ve thought that once I get a licensed, I’ll get filthy rich as long as I work hard and master my profession. Later did I know that the effort still left me broke. Well, my story isn’t the same of the story of a few people. But we may admit it or not, majority experienced the same as I did.

This type of people work hard to climb the ladder of their career. They spend their time at work and in school. In the past traditional age, these type of people were looked up to with prestige and respect for the intelligence and professional achievement their acquire. They were given the best salary and benefits for their expertise and knowledge. But the sad part is, it’s once again ancient history.

For now, intelligence is something we can achieve in a click of the button, such as google. Want to learn “amortization”, type the words in google search and millions of answers will appear in your monitor. “How to” articles will appear to teach you the step by step way in computing it or the best part is, there’s a tool that automatically computes it. Go ahead, try it.

The point here is that intelligence and mastery isn’t enough anymore. In fact, there are millions of professionals out there who have mastered just the same. Your mastery may help you climb the ladder, but it may not fulfil financial stability and freedom you dream of. And the sad part is, somewhere, some IT genius is already developing an innovation to replace you.

The Wealthy Jack of All Trade

Did you know Bill Gates? What about Steve Jobs? Or Mark Zuckerberg? Try being a new person and type their names in google.

They have 2 things in common yet one thing was exceptional. They are all college undergraduates and multi-billionaires. The exceptional is Mark, for he reached his billions at the age of 24 in 2008. Awesome, right?

They have no college diploma or masters degree to prove their intelligence. What they have was creativity to think out of the box. They saw the opportunity and developed their self to see and grab opportunities.

If there’s few individuals who won’t diminish their worth despite the technological and innovative advancement that will fast change our world, these are the people who falls in this category.

People who are not intelligent and masters but are smart enough to be creative, think out of the box and seize opportunity.

For a final word, I’d like to give you Three Steps to Boost Your Worth in this Fast Pace World:

Do not be too complacent and lazy to stop dreaming
Always think out of the box and be creative
Never stop being curious and learn, learn, learn, learn some more.

How to Build Good Relationships With People?

Lou Macabasco — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 16:22:05 +0000

In our era of technology-and-career-driven world, relationship building might be considered a last option that slowly becoming extinct.

Our daily communications and interactions have become transactional instead of relational.

Interactions have focused more on results, achieving desired outcome at the expense of relationships, even making others feel devalued and used. The importance of how people are treated in the process of achieving results, that means are an important part of an end, are often neglected and ignored.

Most of us have never been taught the importance of building relationships with others. As we grow up, we hear our parents tell us about maintaining good grades and making sure that we follow rules, but seldom we were taught on how to build relationship with others. Whatever we’ve learned, we’ve got through observation of what we see around us. We were lucky if we had good role models when we were growing up and not so lucky if we didn’t. As such, a lot of people, such as those in the office, at home, at school, or in the community we live in, values relationship building the least. It’s like everyone is too busy to even bother and care.

A lot of us forget that:

“It takes just about the same amount of time to be a nice guy as it does to be a jerk”

If you feel guilty with this truth but you want to improve your relationships, at home, at work, in school or the community you live in, this post will bring you principles on How to Build Good Relationship With People.

1. Be True to Yourself

“Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are.” – Nick Clark Warren

Show who you really are, your unique self. Do not try to impress by being anybody but yourself. Always do your best at being yourself. Let your actions come out of who you really are, what you truly believe in, and the things you are devoted to.

The prerequisite for relationship building is trust. Trust is built when people believe who you represent yourself to be.

2. Be Honest

“Say what you’ll do, and do what you say.”

Don’t make promises you can’t keep and don’t create expectations you can’t fulfill. Avoid over representing and overpromising. Be a man, woman, or organization of your word. That’s integrity.

As mentioned earlier, relationships are build with trust. And trust is build with belief in another person’s integrity. Show integrity in your words and actions. That’s the foundation of a good relationship.

3. Smile Often

“The expression wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back.”

Try walking in the street and observe people, what do you see? Is it a stressed, tired, irritated and impatient expression? Or is it enthusiastic, heart warming and real smile of people?

One of the disease of this career-driven world is that we get too serious with ourselves that we forget to wear the most important outfit in our life, it’s our “smile”.

A smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you”.

If you want to start attracting and creating good relationships with people, start by walking and greeting people with your most beautiful smile.

4. Stop Criticizing, Condemning and Complaining

“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.” – Dale Carnegie

By criticizing, condemning and complaining, it does not change a situation, oftentimes, it only creates much problem such as resentment and broken relationships. Instead of criticizing, condemning and complaining against others, why not try to understand them? Put yourself in their situation or might as well try to figure out how to move forward with the solution. That’s a lot more helpful and gainful than criticism and complaining, which often doesn’t solve anything.

No one is perfect, and I’m pretty sure you are not as well, even though we often think we are always right. It is human nature to blame, criticize and judge the actions of others except their own. We are not perfect ourselves to even judge others.

If you want to change and improve your relationship with people in your environment, begin in yourself. It’s more easier and lot less dangerous than trying to improve others.

5. Be Genuinely Interested with Other People

“It may be true that interesting people attract attention, but I believe that interested people attract appreciation.” – Mark Sanborn

You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get people interested on you. People are not interested in you, they are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves – morning, noon and after dinner.

As such, if you want to build good relationships with other people, you have to become interested with their favourite person, themselves. People are pleased when you put an interest in getting to know them better, not out of bad curiosity, but in an effort to build relationships.

So the next time you want to build relationship with a stranger, instead of boasting your accomplishments and declaring your great self, try to be more interested in the story of the stranger. You will only not gain new friend, but also, lots of new knowledge and wisdom.

6. Consider Others Want and Interest

“It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others.” – Alfred Adler

To better illustrate this, I’ll share with you a scenario I’ve personally encountered. I’m a person who wasn’t raised and trained in dealing with other people. In our family, children are given the most priority, that’s why I was becoming a bit bratty and selfish when I was growing up. I’ve brought this bratty and selfish attitude in school that aroused difficult situation with other people.

To cut the story short, when I slowly realized that my attitude wasn’t helping me build relationship with others, I started to realize that happy and harmonious relationship with other people begins with me. It begins when I start to become interested in other’s welfare, wants and interest, not solely of my own. I’ve learned to adjust and be flexible with the people I deal with instead of complaining and criticizing the other person then try to change them for me. When I started to become more selfless, that’s when I started to gain true happiness, unity, teamwork and friendship with other people.

7. Treat People With Importance and Respect

“The life of many person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important.” – Ronald Rowland

Almost everyone considers themselves important, very important. The truth is that almost everyone you meet feels to themselves that their superior to you in some way. And a way to build good relationship with this kind of people is to recognize their importance and be sincere with it. Once you sincerely believe that every man you meet is superior to you in some ways, you will learn more from each person you meet.

Always make other people feel important. It is a human nature to crave for appreciation. Remember the famous saying of Jesus, “Do unto others as you would have others do to you”. If you want to gain importance and respect, show and do it first.

8. Be Generous in Giving Sincere Appreciation and Praise

“Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips.” – Dale Carnegie

One of the most neglected virtues of our daily activity is appreciation. A simple “thank you” to the guard who opened the gate for you, or the small gesture of your assistant who prepared a cup of coffee for you. Showing a sincere appreciation and praise can change a person’s life. It can boost another person’s self-esteem, confidence and enthusiasm to bring out much greater value.

On the other hand, lack of appreciation and praise results to make other person feel insecure, unappreciated or invalid.

Begin creating positive relationships and environment by being generous in praising and appreciating others. Remember, small acts when accumulated creates big difference.

9. Be a Good Listener Rather than a Good Talker

“People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves. And those people who think only of themselves, are hopeless uneducated. They are not educated, no matter how instructed they may be.” – Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone wherein you have been talking about something then suddenly the other person cuts in and tell his story. What did you feel? What about having a conversation to someone who was talking to you about something, but instead of listening attentively, even before he finished his speech, you are already thinking your response.

Being a good listener in our time now is a real great talent. Everyone is too busy and too pre-occupied with their own life that they lack time to listen.

But if you want to really create a big positive change in your life and build good relationships with other people, you have to learn how to become a good sincere listener. Be genuinely interested with other people lives.

It doesn’t take much extra time or effort to be interested and demonstrate the value we have for others, especially if from those depends mutual interest and success. And that is the essence of building relationships, whether business or personal.

I hope this post have enlighten you in some way and helped you begin building good relationship with people from this day on and forward. You may refer back to this post once in a while to refresh the principles as you apply it in your life. Happy Journey to your Life!=)

4 Change Barriers You Need To Eliminate

Lou Macabasco — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 07:18:27 +0000

The only constant thing in life is CHANGE.

I keep on repeating this statement because I see a lot of people often neglect that life is constantly changing.

Each day is a new beginning and a new life experiences. On the other hand, each night is the close of a new chapter in your life that entails you to rest and prepare for another new chapter when you wake up tomorrow. Sadly though, majority of us wake up and end each day doing the same old routine we’ve been doing the couple of years.

Isn’t ironic that we constantly become bored or stressed with our day to day “normal” life activities but we do not want to change, we resist it and condemn those people who initiate change?

Previously, I’ve wrote a blog review and summary of about a book entitled “Who Moved My Cheese?” This book is so far the best reference in understanding CHANGE. It’s a fable that story-tell the principles of change and how an individual can best handle change. You may read the synopsis of the book here, “Who Moved My Cheese?”.

After knowing how to understand and handle change, this post will tackle the barriers of change that’s stopping you to accept and move forward. By knowing the barriers of change, you can begin to eliminate them one by one, so you can become more open and flexible in embracing change.

1) Lack Of Faith

Faith is being able to see the unseen. Lack of faith creates big gap between those who can adapt to change against to those who cannot. Lack of faith creates fear, either fear of the unknown or fear of achieving better things, of which can lead to mediocrity.

Most of the time, when faced with change, our thoughts are filled with negative things that we will encounter upon change. Instead of looking at the brighter side of change, we only think of the negative impacts that change will create in our current comfort zone.

But if you want to adapt or create a change in your life, you have to first believe and have faith that change can bring much better effect in your life.

2) Waiting For The “Right” Time

Despite knowing that there is a need for change, people seldom act upon it because they’re always waiting for the “right” time and use the same old excuse of “not now, maybe someday”.

What I’ve learned about “someday” is that it always become some day, it never happens.

Successful people knows that opportunity are rare but powerful. If you were able to grab opportunity, most of the time it multiplies and great things happen. But if you don’t, it may become too long before it knocks on your door again.

Have you realized the reason why opportunity seldom knocks in your door?

If you already recognized that there’s a need for change, stop waiting and start acting. Remember that someday never comes and the “right” time is always today.

3) Expecting 100% Risk-Free

People become depressed and miserable because their expecting a perfect life in an imperfect world.

Don’t expect things to be 100% risk-free, there will always be risk in anything you choose to do. Especially in our days now where uncertainty is fast increasing. Stability and security is more rare now than ever.

When will you accept that life is imperfect and it will never be perfect?

The time you’ll be able to accept life’s imperfection, that’s the only time you will be able to live and adapt happily to life’s changes and circumstances.

The more you can adapt to change, despite the risk, the more you can explore and find a better opportunity outside the life you have now.

4) Asking Permission Before Taking Action

In school, in the community, at work and at home, being obedient and compliant is an attitude that is well admired by most people. But then again, it might depend on the cultural differences. In our country per se, when you are obedient and compliant, the more people will like and admire you.

But as I grow up and take control of my life, I’ve learned that being obedient and compliant isn’t all that good. Especially if it restricts a person to become the person he/she chose to become.

Most of us fails to remember that “you are in control of your life”. From the day you were able to determine what’s good and bad for you, that’s the day you were given the choice and control in your life.

Stop depending your life on other people’s decision. It is your life, you should be able to decide and act upon it. You may need other’s opinion at some point, but still, the final decision and action should be of your own choice. Again, it’s your life.

Unless you know how to take control of your life and your decisions, you won’t be able to easily adapt to changes and find your personal purpose in life.

Additional Reference:

Change is the hardest situation one is faced. Indeed, it is easier to go back to your comfort zone rather than face the unknown.

If you want to embrace change, learn the 5 stages of change you will be faced upon entering a new chapter in your life. You can learn it here, “5 Stages of Change”.

Remember…

“Don’t resist change, instead embrace the new ride that change will bring into your life. Happy Journey to Your Life!!!”

(Note: Image attached is a photo taken by a personal friend, Lyn Calara. Visit her works @ http://rcalara.blogspot.com/)

Who Moved My Cheese (A Book Summary & Review)

Lou Macabasco — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:43:24 +0000

Who Moved My Cheese was published in 1998. A parable written by Spencer Johnson which describes change in one’s work and life. Who Moved My Cheese was included in the New York Times business bestseller since release and remained on the list for almost five years and spent over 200 weeks on Publishers Weekly’s hardcover nonfiction list.

When Change Happens

One of the constant things in life is CHANGE. Each day brings a new life and a different experience for us. But our daily routine task, from the time we wake up until the time we lay down in bed again, creates a cycle that leads us to comfort. Such comfort creates lax and negligence in our character that make us forget that life is constantly changing. Then when change happens, we stress out, react, complain and be beaten up.

Even if it’s hard to admit it, in school, at home and in the community we live in, we were taught to believe in following rules and sets of standards that being curious and creating change is not acceptable. That being obedient, doing what is told and what is “right”, is the key to success and happiness in life. The attitude of obedience and resistance to change is brought by many in their professional and personal journey in life. That’s why it is hard for majority to handle and accept change.

Upon experiencing change, our initial reaction is to resist it. Either because we are afraid to lose the comfort of what we currently have or the fear of the unknown.

The Fable of Change

The book Who Moved My Cheese is a fable that teaches an amazing way to deal with change in your personal and professional life.

Below is a short synopsis of the fable:

There were four characters; two mice named “Sniff” and “Scurry,” and two little people named “Hem” and “Haw.” The four characters lives in a maze (which represents environment) and their activity is to look for cheese ( which represents their life’s happiness and success).

Each morning, Sniff, Scurry, Hem and Haw wear their most comfortable shoes to run and search the maze to find cheese. They search each day until they found Cheese Station “C”. The four were so happy and glad to have found Station “C” which is filled with cheese. Hem and Haw, human as they were, become comfortable having found Station C. They thought that the Cheese in Station “C” was more than enough to sustain their needs in a lifetime. So the next morning, Hem and Haw lazily gets up every morning and walk to station “C” without their running shoes on. On the other hand, the two mice “Sniff” and “Scurry” still eagerly runs to Station “C” to search and find their cheese.

Then one morning, as Hem and Haw lazily walks shoeless to station “C”, they’ve arrived and found it empty. Hem and Haw became furious and angry. Unprepared, the humans have counted on the cheese supply to be constant. They rant at the unfairness of the situation and were mad to those who stole their cheese. They wanted justice. They wanted the cheese to come back but they went home hungry. On the other hand, when Sniff and Scurry found that Station C was empty, they are not surprised. They noticed the cheese supply were decreasing, they have mentally prepared beforehand for the tough but foreseeable task of finding new cheese. They’ve easily accepted it and moved on to search for new cheese.

The next day, Hem and Haw still walks to Station C hoping to find their cheese. Hoping that things were the same as the past. But they failed for the cheese was gone and will not come back. Beginning to realize the cheese less situation, Haw proposed to search for new cheese. But Hem is dead set in his closed mindset and rejected the proposal. Meanwhile, Sniff and Scurry have found “Cheese Station N”, a new supply of cheese.

Hem and Haw are still lacking of cheese and blame each. Wanting to change, Haw suggested once again to search for new cheese but Hem rejected it again. He didn’t want to change, he’s already comfortable his old cheese and he’s also afraid of the unknown, the new cheese. He just wants the old cheese to come back and he’ll be happy again. After many days in denial, Hem and Haw remained without cheese.

One day, having discovered his weakening fears, Haw begins to laugh at the situation and stopped taking himself so seriously. Haw realized that he should simply move on and enter the maze to find a new cheese. While walking down the maze in search for new cheese, Haw took time to write on the walls of the experiences and lessons he’s getting in search for change, of new cheese. Haw did it for the intention of giving a guide to his friend, Hem, just in case he finally accepts to move on and find new cheese. First he wrote, “If You Do Not Change, You Can Become Extinct” Still fearful of his new quest, Haw wrote “What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” . In his journey he realized and wrote down “When you move beyond your fear, you feel free.” Then one day, Haw finally found Cheese Station N and realized it was better and tastier than Cheese Station C. Wanting to remember everything he’ve learned, he wrote to the largest wall in Cheese Station N the following Six (6) Important Lessons on Change:

Change Happens. They Keep Moving The Cheese
Anticipate Change. Get Ready For The Cheese To Move
Monitor Change. Smell the Cheese Often So You Know When It Is Getting Old.
Adapt To Change Quickly. The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese.
Change. Move With The Cheese
Enjoy Change. Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese

Are You Like Hem?

Even we don’t admit it, we act like Hem. When change happens in our lives, we get angry, we blame others, we lose hope and resist change.

Start Embracing Change

Who Moved My Cheese have helped me a lot in coping in a negative change that previously happened in my life. After reading Who Moved My Cheese , it gave me a lot of new insight on why change is good and how it can lead me to much better things. Now as I look back, I can honestly say I’m really happy to the change that reversed my life to embrace positivity and life live fully.

You too can create that change in your life. If you don’t know where to start, begin having courage to embrace change by reading Who Moved My Cheese .

5 Steps to Begin a Positive Change in Your Stressful Life

Lou Macabasco — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 05:00:03 +0000

Life became a complicated affair. There are too much clutter and commotion that brought about the anxiety, stress and dissatisfaction for many. A lot of us are being caught up by our own time schedule that having 24-hours in a day is not enough to fulfil all the things we need to accomplish, may it be at work, at home, for our personal and social self or our finances.

This information age and productive generation is the reason for this stressful lifestyle that most of us lived in. Now, you can do anything in an instant and be wherever you want to be in just a few click of the button. That’s thanks to the marvel of technological advancement. But isn’t technology was supposed to eliminate the work and stress for humans? Technological advancement have created a more stressful environment and busy lifestyle because of your own mindset and choices. Instead of seeing these technology as tools to make your life much easier, you’ve used it to accept more obligations beyond your own ability. And that’s what most of us are unaware of. We become too attracted to have self-fulfilment and prestige in accepting a busy and fully-loaded responsibility, but then we complain on how stressful and unhappy our life is. Like time for relaxation and inner peace is too far from reality.

The question now is how can you stop surviving the cycle of your stressful and busy lifestyle to achieve a more balanced and stress-free lifestyle? How can you achieve a life that’s lived to the fullest?

This post will give you a five quick steps for you to start changing the stressful life you have now to change in a more positive way of life that can eventually lead you to find your inner piece, happiness and success in life.

1. TODAY IS YOURS, LIVE IT FULLY

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. – Dale Carnegie

It’s time you stop running too fast to get ahead. Life is not about the past or the future, it’s about today. In a busy and cluttered world, we tend to be too much preoccupied with the material things and demands that we forget that life is temporary and short. The only guaranteed day that you are alive is today, so live it.

2. UNDERSTAND WHAT COMPRISES A BALANCED LIFE

Everyone is a house with four rooms: Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.

For most, life became a routine of a long list of similar tedious tasks to be done over and over again like it will never end. Life became only about work or one aspect of life. We do not know how ever that stress and unhappiness is mostly blamed to lack of balance in life. When we tend to focus only on one aspects of our life, such as work, we tend to neglect all the other aspect and when it happens, damages occur. To change this and prevent future damages, make a renewal and try your best to meet with the four areas of your life.

3. ACCEPT CHANGE AS PART OF LIFE

The only constant in life is change. Do not be scared for change to happen. Anticipate and accept change.

One of the biggest trap that unhappy people are faced in is change. Because we are too busy and too preoccupied we neglect to see what’s happening around us and what are the things that change or about to change. And when change happens, we are hit big time and become paralyzed. Once you start doing the first two steps above, I’m sure it will be easier for you to observe change before it begins/happens. When you learned to live today and understand how balance life works, it is much easier for you to smell a change to happen and faster for you to accept it.

4. LEARN TO FORGIVE, FORGET AND MOVE FORWARD

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. – Walt Disney

Failures, pains and disappointment happens either caused by our own decisions and actions or by someone else. When ‘caused by our own decisions and actions, be kind to yourself, take it as a learning process for you to do better in the future. And when it caused by someone else, do not push it hard and blame the other person, you cannot control other’s decision/action, you can only accept them and move forward in your life.

5. KEEP EXPANDING YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

The problem with our busy lifestyle and doing the same things over and over again is we get to comfortable with things and let ourselves become ordinary. We settle for less and accept that what we currently are is the best we can become. Most of us stop learning after graduating college. However, if we want to achieve success and happiness in what we do in our day to day life, our learning should start after graduation and ends only when we die. Start learning things other than what you do. Learn ways on how to improve yourself in other areas of your life, who knows you will be able to discover a hidden talent that you can be the best of. Don’t be surprised to discover that you can more than the profession/career/course you’ve took in college.

Life is neither hard or complicated, it’s imperfect, but you too can make a big positive change in your life despite life’s imperfection. Remember, like attracts like.

Happy journey to your Life!

(Note: Image attached is a photo taken by a personal friend, Lyn Calara. Visit her works @ http://rcalara.blogspot.com/)

How to Work With Difficult and Negative People

Lou Macabasco — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 10:50:40 +0000

Some people are packed with negative and difficult attitude. Whenever they open their mouth, all you hear are words of disapproval or criticism. Even how hard it may sound, you have to work with difficult and negative people in your life.

There are two types of difficult and negative person:

THE VICTIM (Too Sensitive)

Those who always see themselves living in an unfair environment. They don’t like their jobs or they don’t like their company. Their bosses and teammates are always jerks and they are always treated unfairly. Or they don’t like the people in their family and the community they live in. Most of these people have their standards that when somebody or the circumstance do not match that standard, they react upon it.

THE RUDE (Too Insensitive)

Those who loves to criticize and see the negative doing of others. They see the action and failure of other’s as something to make fun of and talk to other people. Most of these people are full of insecurities that they get envious if some people are having a great life or they are pleased to step on someone who’s having a difficult time.

The environment you live in has effect on whether you will love the things you will do in your life.

It will bring about the joy and fun you will have in your work, at school, at home or in whatever you do. But we’ve all been in the situation where we seem to be working/dealing with difficult and negative people. Unfortunately, we meet them at work, school and home. There will always be negative and difficult people everywhere you go. Negative and difficult people can put discouragement on your positive mood and produce a stressful environment. And those will bring frustration and can drain your motivation to enjoy what you do and live for. Part of the frustration comes from feeling that you are helpless to do anything. Most often, you end up searching for a new path, maybe a job, career, or move out of our house, just to avoid these difficult and negative people.

The trick, however, is not too soon in leaving the job, school or home that you love to be at, if only the negative and difficult people are not around. The trick is to learn how to work and deal with those people. As they say,

Do not give up your dreams and the things you love to do, just because you can’t deal with the stress of the moments.

You have the power to change your environment and this article will show you how.

1. Evaluate your Response and Focus on your Behaviour

Are you responding positively or reacting negatively?

When faced with difficult situation, your character is tested. If you react instead of responding, you tend to let go of a negative emotional feeling towards the situation. Reacting gives you the power to push your stand against the other person. So you end up blaming other people in the situation you are faced in. On the other hand, if you respond to the situation, you take control and you care less about who caused the situation, you focus on what you can control and that’s you.

Working with difficult and negative people needs a positive respond. Try not to react for it will not solve anything but will just leave you bad feelings. Stop agonizing and reacting. You have a choice in a situation. Choose to focus on what needs to be done and move on.

2. Put your Negative Feelings into Writing

After a heated situation with difficult people, you tend to become really pissed off and you can’t help it. When it happens, instead of calling a dearest person, maybe a friend, co-worker or a family member, what you do is grab a paper and a pen or open your Microsoft word, then start typing what you feel about the person and the situation. Write everything that you feel, the pain, the frustration and all the negative emotion you currently have. And then, erase it or throw it out.

Do not read what you’ve written over and over for it will just cause you more and more negative feelings. Instead, after writing your emotions out, tear it up as soon as possible so you can easily move on to more important things.

Writing it helped you erased the negative feeling to yourself and avoiding the temptation of spreading that negative feelings to others.

3. When Sharing is Bad

The best things in life happens when shared with others. However, not all things should be shared to other people especially negative stories.

When you react to negative and difficult people, you tend to bring the negative feeling wherever you go. And even if you don’t intend to do it, you often share the negative feeling to others when you start to tell the story about how difficult that person is. And when it happens, you only not ‘caused negative feeling to others but also started a negative story about the other person that can spread to others. And once it spreads, it may cause more bigger and more stressful negative environment. ‘Cause other may follow what you’ve started, that’s spreading negative stories to others.

You may not realize it but negative environment can start with you. Thus, negative environment can turn to positive environment, and it can start with you too. Stop spreading negative stories and start spreading positive things.

4. Be on the Other Person’s Shoe

Difficult and negative people are caused by their reaction in a given negative circumstances that they are faced in. However, there are just some who are born to be negative.

So have the humility of heart to understand the other person. Try to see the circumstance at the other’s person’s view before you start reacting and spreading negative conclusions.

Most often, difficult people are those who needs the most love and understanding.

5. Have the Humility of Heart to Ask and Listen

Confrontation is one of our most feared moments. I’ve used to be fearful of this situation that’s why I tend to follow straight whatever other people will direct me or say. I hated to disappoint other’s and be faced with confrontations.

But one of the best part of the maturity and success I’ve had started when I decided let go of my fear of confrontation. Confrontation is not all negative. Reacting is a negative form of confrontation. It’s a situation where both of the person try to prove themselves right that’s why nothing is solved. While responding is a positive confrontation of recognizing that there is differences and they try make up to that differences by agreeing and moving forward without negative grudges.

Positive confrontation, asking and listening to the other person’s feelings and point of view gave me more wisdom and emotional intelligence to lived up in life. It widen my perspective and open my mind to respect each other differences. Plus it made it easier for me to deal with people even if we do not believe on the same things. Step back, try to open your mind and hearts to other’s and you’ll see and experience greater things. Who knows, you’ll even gain another best friend.

6. Show Respect

I’ve always believed that any problem can be solved with positive confrontation. When both sides have positive mental attitude of respect to each one’s opinion and decision.

Never try to prove yourself right to others for you’ll never win. Each one of us are born to believe that you are always right and what you do is right. That’s the human nature that you cannot do anything about.

So instead of attacking the person by proving yourself right and the other is wrong, just show respect on other’s decision, behaviour and opinion. Take control of yourself, focus and correct your own behaviour.

7. Be a Model of Positive Attitude and Encourage Others

You cannot avoid negative people to approach you and start sharing negative stories with you. But instead of supporting and adding up to the negative story that’s spreading, always bring up the positive side of each situation. Begin changing the negative environment with you. If the big bosses or other people can’t do it, be the one to start spreading positive ambiance in your environment. Start seeing and complimenting good stuff about others, be cheerful and smile even to those who appear to dislike you, and speak only of words of positivity.

It may be hard at the start since you are not used to being too positive and change is really hard at the start. But make it a habit of doing positive things at least 5 times a day, and you’ll start to see the positive change in you as days goes by.

8. Avoid the Difficult People and Mingle With the Positive People

The old saying, “Birds of the same feather flock together”, is always true and will remain true.

Remember, you cannot please everyone and that means, you cannot be friends with everyone. If there are a lot of negative and difficult people around you, I’m sure there are also a lot of positive and like-minded people around you too. Focus your attention on finding and spending time with these people so as to avoid focusing your attention to the heart blowing difficult and negative people.

Choose to eliminate acquaintance to the difficult and negative people. Deal with them with fair manner when needed for a job or situation but do not force yourself to agree and hang-out with them.

9. Wait it Out and Take a Break

After taking all the steps into action and nothing happens, you still feel the frustration and stress of having to work and deal with negative/difficult people, now it’s time for you to relax and take that break. Use the vacation leave and sick leaves you’ve been saving up to take a days or weeks of vacation. It’s best if you go out of town and not just stay at home. If you’ll just stay home, you’ll just end up feeling sorry and stupid for even taking off from work. Use this time to enjoy yourself and your life outside your comfort and normal zone.

Once you go out, try to stop thinking about the work and people you’ve left behind. Just enjoy the peaceful and happy situation you have in your vacation. Believe me, once you go back, you’re more energized and more clear-headed to decide on what you really want to do and how you really want to approach with the situation with the difficult people.

10. Quit the environment and find your place

Once you get into this stage, you’ve already sorted out all the options and had come to the conclusion that the negative and difficult environment and people isn’t worth of your time. If you see yourself not growing to the place and that you cannot do some changes, then it’s time for you to move on and find the place you can grow as a person.

It’s the same in any situation or people you have to deal with. When you even think of quitting, quit not because you can’t handle the stress that other people or circumstance is bringing you, but instead, quit because you do not see yourself growing and be the best in that environment.

Remember, in any situation, you have a choice. Always choose to be a winner of your own life including your emotions, not a victim or a rude person that ruins it. Again, you always have a choice on how to respond to it.

3 Guides to Decision Making

Lou Macabasco — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 10:27:33 +0000

Studies have tested that human failure, unhappiness, stress, brokenness, and lack of success are caused by lack of decision, of choice.

In Life, we are filled with choices, especially in our current world. But despite that overflowing choice, we are still often trapped by a world that sends us nothing but difficulty, which we often blamed to destiny. But the truth, no one should be blamed but you. You had the choice, you just decided not to choose.

This simple principle of decision is often neglected when what’s at stake is the seriousness of one’s personal life and future. When we want something small, it’s so easy for us to decide and take action upon it. But when important things should be decided on, we let destiny do the decision. This is sad but most often reality for many.

Below is a story of Two (2) Eggs deciding:

Two eggs were telling each other what they wanted to be when they hatch.

The 1^st Egg said, “I want to be an OYSTER when I hatch. An oyster just stays in the water and never has to make any decisions. The currents of the ocean just move it about and it doesn’t have to plan on what’s ahead of him. The ocean water brings its food. Whatever the ocean provides is what the oyster receives, no more, no less. That’s the life for me. It may be limited, but there are no decisions to make and no responsibilities to accomplish. There’s a secure existence controlled only by the ocean.”

The 2^nd Egg however said, “That’s not the life for me. I wish to be an EAGLE for it is free to go where it wants to go and do what it pleases. Of course, it is responsible for hunting its own food and making survival decisions, but it is also free to fly as high as the highest mountains. The eagle is in control, instead of being controlled by others. I want no limits placed upon me, nor do I want to be slave of the ocean. I am willing to expend the efforts required to live the life of an eagle. I will create my own destiny.”

The decision is yours, which do you want to be, an OYSTER or an EAGLE? It’s your choice.

If you decide to be an oyster, I guess you can now leave this blog since it is a guide to decision making and it’s something you don’t seek for. Guide to decision making is about taking control of your life like an eagle does.

I’m not going to say being oyster is bad, for who would want to have a life of no choice and responsibility? It’s a perfect scenario in a perfect world. But in a world like where I live, and the world you probably live as well, life isn’t perfect. Life is actually full of imperfect circumstances that makes it more harder to live by. How much more if I’m not deciding on it?

Life without freedom is no life at all. – Braveheart

If you’re reading this far, I’m thinking you’re either one of the brave souls who wants to take control of their life or the “not-so-brave-soul” but have seen the bad effects of indecision so you want to change and do something about it, and you just need a guide to decision making. Either way, I congratulate you for you’ve made a decision and you won’t regret it, for this post will be of great help to you now and in your future decision makings. So to start bringing freedom, fulfilment, happiness and success to your life by learning and applying these three (3) Guides to Decision Making:

1) Determine the WHAT: Want, Do and Be

The first guide to decision making is to list down WHAT you really WANT, DO and BE.

Want – Things you want to have.
Do – Something you want to act upon.
BE – The qualities, traits, values and attitudes you want to be.

(Refer to 3 Negative Traits Paralyzing Life’s Success and Happiness for detail steps and samples)

Listing down the WHAT determine the RESULT of your decision in life.

Knowing what you want is like having a “blueprint”. When you have a blueprint or a guide, it will be easier for you to decide if a circumstance or offer is worth giving up or taking in. And in times of difficult moments, you have a clear objective on what to decide and take action. You will never feel lost if you have this blueprint in your hand. For it will be easier for you to direct the path you have to take or quit a path that’s not align to your blueprint. This blueprint is the reason why most successful people can easily decide and take action.

2) Determine the WHY: Motivation

The second guide to decision making is to examine the WHY which motivates you in your quest to life.

We want something for a reason and the density of our reason is the fuel that drives us more or less to what we want, do and be. Our wants will be meaningless without our whys. This is the reason why there are wants we achieve and we do not. The former is usually rooted with a deep why.

Typical reasons include:

To provide the lifestyle that you want
To provide the needs of your family and significant others
To bring fulfilment in your life
To make your family proud
To gain power, prestige and honor
To have the time and freedom in your life
To acquire all the good things in life
To tour your family around the world
To teach and help people
To serve God
To bring happiness and peace
And the list goes on

Remember, you have to support the WHAT with a WHY. Having a WHAT backed up by WHY doubles the ability of your blueprint to come to reality. And whenever circumstances happens that you have to decide on quitting or staying, you have more confidence and firmness in the decision that you’ll take because you know what and why is it for.

3) Determine the HOW: Machine

The third guide to decision making and probably the hardest of the three is the HOW can you pursue and stick to your decision.

This is the bridge that separates the 10% of successful and happy individual from the rest of the 90% unsuccessful and unhappy ones. At this stage, most people feels like they’re in a crossroad of their current life and their dream life. And sadly, a lot of people gives up at this stage.

If you’re in a stage where the deciding is urgent, if you already know you WHAT and WHY, this stage will be much easier for you. If the decision to stay or give up is align to what you’ve listed in your WHAT and WHY, don’t be afraid to take that decision now and just learn the HOW’s along the way. It will be easier for you to do the HOW as long as it’s align with your WHAT and WHY.

But if the deciding stage isn’t urgent, it’s time you first identify the HOW of your WHAT and WHY. Give at least 6 months after you’ve determine your HOW before you jump into it. It will give you proper time to prepare.

HOW can be achieve thru:

Observation;
Attending seminars/classes/trainings/etc;
Reading books;
Talking to those who’ve already achieved it; and
Endless more ways to determine how

But just a bit of reminder that you shouldn’t prolong deciding your how and before you take action because you might be trapped by the syndrome “Someday May Never Come” of most indecision.

I hope the three (3) Guide to Decision Making didn’t just entertained you but have left a great insight you will apply in your real life.

A simple quote I want to leave:

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice. – William James