Christmas carols proclaim it a time of great rejoicing, seasonal songs deem it “the most wonderful time of the year,” but — amidst all of the general merriment and brouhaha, the spiked eggnog parties and the Chinese gift exchanges — there are many of us who find ourselves asking the question: Is this the hap, happiest season of all?  Really?

At a time where it seems like everyone else is celebrating, where everyone’s life seems picture postcard perfect (and it’s proven to us in the syrupy greetings that coat our mailboxes), I must confess that I have felt like the loneliest person in the world, the one most removed from the joy and celebration happening around me. And I’ve found myself thinking, “If I hear one more cheery ‘Happy Holidays’ or ‘Ho Ho Ho’ I’m going to shove my Christmas tree up someone’s you-know-where.”

It is because of this that I would like to share today’s “A-Ha Space” post with you, written in the full awareness that sometimes Christmas can be the dark, darkest season of all … for many of us.

Please join me at The Calm Space today for my holiday wish for you: A Reason to Celebrate.

Much love,

Photo credit: flickr photo by Walrus87

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A few weeks ago, I was out shopping with my husband for Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations for our home. We had gone to one of the few large department store-ish type places one can find here in Crete, and our patience had been worn steadily away as we’d trolled through the over-full aisles, round the over-stuffed bins, amidst the over-stimulated children. Loud, obnoxiously high-pitched music blasted through the store speakers, so much so and for so long, that by the time we reached the kitchenware aisle, our strand of patience was hanging on by one lone, very short, very fragile thread.

It was around this time that “It” happened.

We had spent about five minutes on this aisle debating over the merits of this or that tablecloth, when we finally made our choice and rounded the corner to begin our slow but deliberate advance toward the cash register when “She” approached.

“She” was the tired, bedraggled, put-upon shop girl who was in charge of keeping kitchen and housewares looking spic and span.

“Excuse me, but you’re not supposed to take the tablecloths out of the bag when you’re looking at them.”

Sensing aggression in her tone, I quickly responded, “We didn’t.”

“Yes, you did,” pointing at the nice, neatly packaged tablecloth in our basket and holding up the untidy, un-bagged matching tablecloth she was holding in her hands.

Feeling my heat rise, I answered back with another, “No! We didn’t!”

“But you were on that aisle. I saw you.”

“No, you didn’t see me, because we didn’t open the bag.”

Tempers now fully flaming, she said, “Look, I’m not accusing you of anything, I just …”

“Yes, you did accuse me. You didn’t ‘ask’ me anything. You said I did something I didn’t do,” I cut her off.

And just as quickly as it began, it ended. “She” turned back to straightening her aisle, and hubby and I finally released ourselves from the madness that was that store.

The thing is, this Incident didn’t end for me. For hours afterward I was bothered by a deep regret over the words we’d exchanged and over my loss of temper. Why had I been so defensive? Why did I have to let my emotions get the better of me?

As I fretted over what had happened (fully realizing that what was done was done), I could not deny that the course of action I had taken that afternoon was not the only possible response. In fact, there were a million other ways (well, maybe not a million) I could have responded, and chief amongst those for me was one response in particular – to respond to her needs.

I realized, playing back the scene in my mind, that I had been that shop girl once upon a time. I had been the one working all kinds of messed up hours during the holidays to make ends meet (or to make extra money for gifts or for gas for the drive home to my parents’), when what I really wanted was to be out spending time with my friends … or doing my own Christmas shopping. I had been that tired girl, frustrated with the customers who just didn’t seem to care about anything and left the shelves in a mess of disarray that I had to refold or tidy up, again and again and again … and again. And if not for the way my life had curiously unfolded, I could have been her still.

I realized that when “She” approached me that afternoon, what she was really saying was: “I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I want to go home too, but I can’t. I’m stuck here until my shift finishes, and the last thing I want is for my work to be made harder than it already is.”

And to me, the most adequate response I could have made was: “I can see you’re tired and frustrated. I don’t know who unpacked these tablecloths, but how about I help you get them sorted again?”

When I had this realization, when I saw this conversation as it could have been played out in a new way, I could not avoid the truth that stood so staunchly in my path:

I could have lit her candle but, instead, I had chosen to blow it out.

How often do we do this, though, on a daily basis, without realizing it? How often do we forget that our lives are not just meant to keep our the candles in our own souls alight but to light the candles of those around us too? Sadly, I know that the answer to both of these questions, for me, is “Far too often.”

And so, ever since that Incident a few weeks ago, I have tried to carry this lesson with me as I go through the motions and events of my day. It is the season of the coming of light, after all. A season when what we celebrate (no matter what belief or persuasion) is the overcoming of deep, dark soulless winter by the arrival of light and peace and hope.

We even light candles in a show of this awareness. Passing the light from one to another in a solemn, yet joyful, demonstration that in our cores we understand that this is what the season is all about.

Why not do the same with each other: Can we help someone else’s candle stay alight today? Can we help keep it from going out? Two candles afire with the light of love and life and hope gleam far more brightly than the light of one.

Can we learn the lesson?

Wishing all of you a very holy, magical, joy-full, light-filled season.
Happy Holidays,

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Dear beautiful readers:

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving!

Today I am giving thanks because I have recently been blessed with the opportunity to become a regular contributor at one of my very favorite spots online: Karen Wallace’s lovely “spa for the mind” – The Calm Space.

As many of you know, I have been playing visiting guest at Karen’s place for a while now, always having a delightful time.  It seems that Karen has been enjoying it too, because one day a few weeks back she approached me with the idea of my not being a guest any longer and invited me in to stay.

Beginning this week, therefore, (and continuing the fourth week of every month moving forward) you will find me at a new little space that we have aptly dubbed The A-Ha Space, a space to celebrate the A-Ha moments of life and, hopefully, to create some new “A-Has” in yours!

Please come visit me there today as we think and talk about Harmony and its meaning in our lives with this month’s post: Your Life, The Musical.

Can’t wait to see you there!

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“O to struggle against great odds, to meet enemies undaunted!”

One of my favorite films of all time is Peter Weir’s film Dead Poets Society, and one of my favorite poets of all time is America’s Walt Whitman.   There is a memorable scene in Weir’s film where the schoolboys, led by Mr. Keating (Robin Williams), are taken to a playing field and prompted to shout forth famous lines from Whitman’s poem, “A Song of Joys.” Classical music is placed on the hi-fi, and the playing field erupts in shouts of joy and poetry.

One of the verses that is shouted is the line quoted above:

“O to struggle against great odds, to meet enemies undaunted!”

Today I once again have the privilege to be offered a guest post at Karen Wallace’s lovely spa-for-the-mind, The Calm Space, where I will be writing on the themes of love and courage and the way of the heart.  I hope you will join me there as I write about what it means to have a bit of courage.

Happy to “see” you today,

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Dear beautiful readers,

After a brief summer away, I am easing myself back into the waters of writing again with an appearance today at one of my very favorite places, Karen Wallace’s The Calm Space.

Please come dip your toes in the water with me as we reflect on peace.

Namaste (and good to see you again),

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Photo Source: b a r e f o o t.summer by katiew