truth is, i’ve been putting off this post.  i’ve started it at least half a dozen times over the past few weeks.  i type and quickly backspace watching the letters trickle off the screen.  how do you thank so many people for supporting a cause that means so much to you?  do you simply say thank you and move on?  i don’t know.  what i can say is how incredibly touched jastin and i both are that SO many people donate to the march of dimes and team adali’s angels each year.  i’ve looked at our final donation page every day since the walk.  read over the names, smiled thinking about each person that took the time to think about what we are trying to accomplish in our fundraising efforts.  it’s not small feat to think you can END prematurity.  i get that.  but that doesn’t stop us.  so whether the money we raised ends up being used for research that leads to the final piece of the puzzle or it helps with new treatments, better treatments, cheaper treatments for premature and sick babies then it will all be worth it…for all of us.

this year, we raised more money than we ever have before!  as the donation notification emails came pouring in, i would text jastin, “i can’t believe we are this blessed!”  ”we’ve hit our goal!”  ”xx gave and they have never even met us!”  ”we just hit 200% of our team goal and i can’t stop crying!”  and then, on race day all my emotions bubbled to the surface when my dad came over to us and let us know that they just announced our team as the top fundraising team…IN ALL OF MISSOURI!  yes, that’s right!  Bill DeWitt Jr, the owner of the cardinals announced team adali’s angels as the top fundraising team and i didn’t even hear it.  sigh.  you think mr, dewitt might be willing to reenact that moment?  oh well.

the walk was not how i wanted it to play out this year, or ever for that matter.  it was a soggy {understatement}, cold morning in st. louis.  one you want to crawl back in bed for after looking out the window.  but team adali’s angels came out anyway!  i was astonished that nearly everyone that had signed up to walk with us showed up despite the weather.  team adali’s angels was over 20 strong…in the rain!!  that’s just crazy to me, and at one point i had to step away because i was so overcome with emotion that all these people came out to support our cause.  i didn’t get as many pictures as in past years because of the weather, but here are some snippets of the day.

again, i want to thank everyone that donated, came out to walk or anyone who simply supports what the march of dimes stands for and is trying to accomplish.  it means SO much to us to be surrounded by such amazing friends and family.  i also want to make sure that those who donated as part of antisdel.s photography’s cutest kids contest know that we appreciate your donations and support as well.  many of you donated without even knowing us which is pretty special.

oh yeah…adali wanted to make sure she got her thank you in to everyone as well…with the help of the boys of course.  

{UPDATE} shirt 2  designed by Jordanne Beaulieu won with well over 50% of the vote!  Congratulations Jordanne…we love the shirt!!

We had over 90 designs submitted by the graphic design students in my brothers class for the Adali’s Angels team shirt this year!  Yesterday Adali and I looked at all of them ohhh at least 13 times to narrow it down to our top 6!  All of the students did such a good job that Adali has asked that a shirt be made with each design on it just for her!

Voting is open at the bottom of this post and will remain open until 12:00 pm central time on Sunday.  Remember, if you plan on walking with us next weekend and haven’t sent me your shirt size to do so asap.  Remember not to choose based on the color as we are choosing the color of the shirt separate from the design.  Here are the top 6 designs in no particular order {vote at the bottom}:

{UPDATE} shirt 2  designed by Jordanne Beaulieu won with well over 50% of the vote!  Congratulations Jordanne…we love the shirt!!

adali went to camp bapa and gaga for spring break again this year.  it wasn’t exactly the spring break she had imagined {and talked about for weeks}.  no riding horses, or playing in the woods this year.  rather it was building a snowman and coloring…lots and lots of coloring according to bapa.  for her it was still a spring break to remember.  she hasn’t stopped talking about it since she’s been back.

while she was there she got to help gaga at the photography studio and even had an impromptu session of her own with some very special little friends that were around the studio last week.  i mean really, how precious are these?  too much for words.  thank you gaga!

if you are in the kansas city area and are interested in antisdel.s photography you can click here for more information.  and if you live in the st. louis area we might be able to twist her arm to come for a visit and some photo shoots!

it’s that time again.  we have started our fundraising efforts again this year for our march for babies team, adali’s angels.  this will be our 5th year walking and doing our part to make sure all babies are born healthy.  this year is extra special for us as we were chosen as one of missouri’s ambassador families to help spread the mission of the march of dimes.  i feel like we always set a pretty lofty fundraising goal but i feel so passionately about what the march of dimes has done to give so many babies, including adali a fighting chance that i feel compelled to set our goal as high as possible.  this year i thought it would be fun to see how many states we can get donations from.  so far we have 2 states, california and missouri.

i would LOVE to see this entire map filled purple by april 27!  and if you don’t think your donation has or will make a difference, think again.  for the first time in 30 years the rate of prematurity is declining.  holla!  also, there is a good chance your donation will stay local as the march of dimes has recently invested over $2 million in research to washington university school of medicine in st. louis to learn more about prematurity and birth defects.  that makes me SO happy.

this years walk will be held on april 27 at 9:00 am in forest park.  you can donate and sign up to walk here.

we will once again have team t shirts for anyone walking with us.  my brothers graphic design class will soon be turning in their designs for us to vote on, so be on the lookout for that soon.  we will also be holding the annual post March for Babies bash at our house immediately following the walk.

if you forget any of this information or want a quick place to donate you can click on the “march for babies” tab at the top or scroll all the way to the bottom of the blog for the march of dimes donation badge for our team.  and as always thank you so, so, SO much for continuing to support our cause.  you all will never know the love we feel from all of you knowing you support such an important mission to us.  remember…it all started with her….

it snowed.  a lot.  in the spring.

no secret.  i’ve been over winter for a long time now.  we’ve battled sickness and cabin fever for months and i’m ready for spring flowers and chirping birds.  i want rosy cheeks to be from the warmth of the sun not from the bite of a bitter cold wind.  

but in saying that, you can’t take away from the beauty that was sunday’s gift.  the snow was mesmerizing…almost intoxicating.  by midday it looked as though every branch of every tree was drunk on sugar.  lazy and sagging.  it just kept coming.  even well after dark.  

i remember opening the back door for the boys to get a glimpse of what was going on and looking around feeling like i had been somehow transported directly inside of a snow globe.  i would occasionally reopen the back door and let the boys stand there, feeling the cold air touch their cheeks, letting the wet flakes melt on their eyelashes.  they would just soak it all in…and every once in awhile they would brave the cold threshold to dip their piggies in the snow or reach down for just one little taste of what mother nature had thrown at us.  it was fun to watch them.

so i decided maybe it would be fun to take them out in it for a few minutes.  and it was fun….

…until the magic was gone.  and then we cried and demanded spring come right now because really, the easter bunny doesn’t have snow boots now does he??

PS…rain, SNOW or shine we are marching for babies again this year!  more to come tomorrow but you may have noticed the fundraising badge at the verrrrry bottom of the blog or the new link in the navigation bar up top with all of the important information.  

birthday’s were celebrated.  5 & 1.  

adali’s biggest wish came true in helping me in the kitchen to oversee the birthday festivity menu that consisted of candied bacon, crostini, pork chops, avocado corn tomato salsa and parmesan hash brown cups topped off with the most heavenly real buttercream frosting strawberry mousse cake.  mother nature managed to sneak a beautiful day into a winter that seems to be overstaying it’s welcome.  and adali was more than happy to share a birthday celebration with her brothers who have the unfortunate pleasure of having their birthday squeezed into the holiday season.  i know this willingness won’t last forever but i was thankful for it this year until we figure out something more permanent.  i think it can be made official that adali is a pro at blowing out her candles and the boys both enjoyed putting the “smash” into smash cake…just for very different reasons.  emry for the mess and ames for the oh so delicious cake {pictures below for proof on just how much ames loved his cake}.

not living close to family makes celebrations that much sweeter.   

the cliche thing to say when your baby turns another year older is “where did the time go?”  the thing is, i know where it went.  straight to my heart.  i get so emotional writing things down for her birthday’s.  thinking back on all the things she’s learned over the past year.  everything we’ve been through.  i don’t get sad that she’s another year older.  i get excited.  for her.  yes, for us parents, i suppose it’s a bit sad that we have one less year with our children before they are adults.  but really, it’s not about us anymore is it?  it’s about them.  and everything they are becoming.  and let me tell you, my little girl is becoming on hell of an amazing person!

she’s such a happy person.  she’s so full of life it’s hard not to get sucked into her enthusiasm when you are around her.  she still loves school, and all things 5 year old little girls should love; like playing dress up, her friends from school, making her brothers laugh, princesses and pink but she also seems so grown up to me at 5.  she’s traded in cartoons for cooking shows, eats squid salad with her dada, takes showers by herself.  she’s my extra set of hands when i need to keep a bro from running away, she does her chores {most days} without complaining and has handled all of her medical hurdles like a champ.  to say i’m proud is an understatement.

i love spending time just the two of us, running errands or sneaking away for a special lunch.  knowing how much fun we have together now, makes me SO excited for our times together in the future {god willing she still thinks i’m cool enough to hang out with}.

i could sit here and brag on her all day, but to make a long story short…i’m excited about how far she’s come and i’m even more excited about where she is going.

happy birthday, sweet adali!!  i hope your day is as special as you are.  love, your mama.

 {march of dimes signature chef’s auction 2011}

this year, we are honored to have been chosen to be an ambassador family for the march of dimes 75th anniversary.  it is a responsibility we take very seriously.  jastin and i have always said that we will do whatever we can to support the mission of ending prematurity.  adali’s first assignment as an ambassador this year is a very exciting one for her.  

she will be sharing her journey of prematurity on ksdk’s show me st. louis this friday.  it will be a live interview that will air sometime between 10:30-11:00 CST.  i found out just how excited she is about this when i went to pick her up from school the other day and found out she had been telling all her friends that she was “going to be on the news.”  

if you would like to watch the interview click here.  

on november 16, when adali’s surgeon came in and said he felt confident all of the stone in her right kidney had been removed, i wanted to believe this chapter was over.  i knew it wasn’t, but it was hard to not slide back into normal life, celebrating the holiday’s and planning summer vacations.  in december, adali’s internal stint was surgically removed without a hitch and we left the hospital that day with the promise of a phone call when the results from the pathology of the stone came back.  the phone call came soon after where a bunch of words were spewed out by her physician that promotes the automatic parental response of “what does this mean?”  calcium phosphate…calcium oxalate…renal tubular acidosis…uhhhhh?  i just wanted to hang up the phone, pretend he never called and go back to making lunch for the kids.  that phone call made it real again.  i know what your thinking…it’s not like you got a phone call saying your daughter’s cancer was back.  but here’s the thing…i’m not one for my kids outsicking other kids.  i’ve done the whole pray for your kids life before.  i don’t want to do it again, and quite frankly i don’t want adali to have to deal with anything else even remotely medically traumatic ever again.  she’s been through enough.

a few days after that phone call a package arrived addressed to adali.  gracie gets so excited for packages so i let her open it as soon as she got home from school.  what was inside?  a giant orange jug with specific instructions on how to collect her urine for 24 hours.  i think adali could sense my frustration in the whole matter because she looked at me and said, “that’s ok mom, i’m really good at this.”  she’s one of a kind, i tell ya.  and she’s right.  we’re pros at this by now and thankfully adali sees it as a bit of a game.  no needles.  no worries.  my girl can pee in cups (and jugs) like a champ.

after aforementioned giant jug was sent off to the lab,  i called to make an appointment with nephrology as instructed which leads us to last week where we headed back down to children’s to discuss the results and to formulate a plan moving forward.  the results showed her calcium in relation to her body surface area is high.  there were discussions of distal renal tubular acidosis and whether she should be tested for it.  i quickly decided against it wen i realized the test required an overnight hospital stay and other not-so-pleasant things.  besides, the treatment, should the test come back positive, wouldn’t look much different than the plan discussed anyway.  so we left with the understanding of putting adali on a low dose diuretic which is not what i really wanted to do, but until we can get some other things straightened out and have a scan to see if there is any new stone growth, it’s what’s needed for now.  and because the balance of calcium between the blood and urine can be a tricky one on a diuretic we will followup with blood draws to make sure everything is in balance.  THIS adali does not like.  and really i don’t blame her.  but she is tough.  and we will do whatever is needed to make sure we never need a redo of last year.

so this is the latest until we go back in a few months for a scan to check for any new stone.  if you are in the praying mood, we could use some for no new stone growth and for us to figure out a way to get a lot more fluids into adali on a daily basis.  this is a tough thing for us right now as we walk a fine line of trying to get as many calories in her through foods to keep her on the growth charts and getting as much fluid in her to help prevent future stones.

our house is crazy.  if you call, all you will hear is crazy.  if you stop by, all you will see is crazy.  it’s been this way since december 5, 2011.  it’s just that the definition of crazy has evolved over the past 14 months.  at first crazy meant an absurd assembly line like life of feed, change, sleep…rinse and repeat {god it reads so easy on paper}.  a few months later it meant, toys and baby food everywhere.  and i mean everywhere.  now it means boys running all over the house testing boundaries and making messes faster than you can clean up the last one.

i’m sure this is no different than any other household with 6 little feet running around but going from one self-sufficient little girl to what we’ve got going on now was baptism by fire and a shock to my system to put it nicely. 

as the boys exit babyhood and enter the realm of toddlers it’s been a huge adjustment from what life was like with adali at this stage.  i’m sure partly because there are 2, partly because they are boys and partly because i’m resigned to the fact that they have made it their mission to test my patience in every way possible for the rest of their lives.

so many people can attest to how easy adali was as a toddler.  she was, and still is a good natured little girl.  at the age the boys are now, she slept well, played well and generally just went along with your plan.  God knew to go easy on us after such a tough start with her.  and then there’s the bros.  such different personalities when you have them alone but a beast as a team.

it’s crazy how much ames is like adali and probably why the get along so, so well.  i think she had super sissy radar about them when they were babies because she was drawn to him from day one.  ames sleeps like a champ unless he’s sick or teething.  eats anything you put in front of him and loves with every cell in his little boy body.  he wants to sit in your lap all the time and is always SO excited to see you.  he covets his paci’s just like his sister did and plays so well by himself and with other kids.  and those eyes.  piercing!  

ohhhh and then there is sweet, sweet emry.  a tiny terror from the moment he wakes up until the last flutters of his pretty little lashes at night.  he sleeps well but wants to wake up early.  he isn’t a picky eater by most standards but if he doesn’t like something he just swats it onto the floor.  grrrr.  he thinks it’s amusing to spit his milk out and makes it his daily mission to test his boundaries on everything.  we are currently having a battle over ames.  he’s trying to pull him to the dark side and i’m trying to keep his little feet firmly planted where he belongs…on the good side.  the thing that slays be about emry is that for every downright rotten thing he does, he will surprise you with pure sweetness just as much.  and seriously, most times you can’t help but laugh at his antics.  his smile is infectious.

truth is if you are having a bad day, just come to our house…ames will love you until you can’t possibly take anymore cuddles and emry will make you laugh so hard you hurt.  i suppose it’s a great mix.  a great mix that equals crazy.