Flooded Lizard Kingdom

Three Years

2009-11-06T17:05:46Z

Three years ago today, I woke up in a hotel room with the man I had married the day before.

Today, we're heading off for a different hotel room for the weekend, which will mostly be spent eating sushi and watching movies. And trying to figure out how to get a shoe on my cut-up foot, but that's minor.

I had never realized how well this photo showed our shoes. Purple velvet for me, black and red canvas for him. That still makes me smile.

And so does he.

How Lucky I Am

2009-11-05T03:27:24Z

This is how lucky I am.

When I was digging up weeds yesterday, I was maintaining property that I own, not trying to make enough money to feed my family on someone else's land. The conditions where I was digging were safe and I could stop whenever I wanted.

When I came in and took a shower, I had electricity, clean hot water, and a reasonable expectation of safety and privacy.

When I broke the soap holder off the wall while drying my leg and sliced the bottom of my foot open on the broken pieces, someone was home to help me.

When I had to hop around naked holding a clean maxi-pad on my foot trying to stop the bleeding while getting some clothes on, it was in front of my child care provider, a relative who loves me (and saw me give birth already).

When I could not stop the bleeding and needed medical attention, I didn't have to worry about how we would pay for it.

When I needed information about where to get that medical care, I was able to look for a provider on my high-speed internet connection. I could read and understand the information, find the correct phone number, and make a savvy decision about where to go for treatment.

When I needed a ride to the urgent care center, my husband had the flexibility to leave work and drop me off so that my child care provider could take my two year old to his gym class as scheduled. Our family did not lose any income as a result.

When I got to the urgent care center, they had someone check on me me right away even though my scheduled appointment was in two hours. I waited for a doctor in a comfortable private room. I was treated with respect by every member of the staff who interacted with me.

When it took over three hours on a weekday morning to deal with the incident, I did not get in trouble with my boss or lose any income.

When I needed to keep my foot propped up, I could resume working from the comfort of my home, seated in a chair.

Unlike migrant farm workers. Unlike people who are poor. Unlike people who are in prison. Unlike people in abusive relationships. Unlike people who get paid hourly and have no sick time. Unlike people whose families and friends aren't dependable. Unlike people who have no health insurance or who depend on public programs to pay for their health care. Unlike people who are doing their best to survive in a country where they don't yet speak or the language fluently.

I wish everyone understood how much of what I have is because of luck. It was luck that my mother in law was home to help, and that the cut wasn't deeper or longer because then hello stitches, but it's even luck that I had a soap holder to cut it on in the first place. Looking at my son, who was born with even more advantages than I was, I don't know how anyone can believe that there's a level playing field. I grew up with money, skin color, nationality, health, family dynamics, education, and knowledge of how to navigate bureaucracy on my side, and he will too. He is starting out so far ahead, just like I did.

I have worked hard at times in my life. But most of the adults and a good percentage of the children in the world work harder in a day than I do in a week. They don't get to sit at comfortable desks and push pixels around. They're already putting in their time and then some. How are they supposed to work harder to cover the distance between where they are and where I am? Why are we so surprised when many people don't have that strength, already working harder than I ever have and battling barriers I never had to face?

And when one of those people cuts their foot in the shower, why do so many people think it's okay for their experience to be so much different from mine? That if they want to achieve what I have, they will simply work harder?

So I have this new hobby...

2009-11-03T17:29:22Z

The Princess: I thought you were going to go to bed.

C-Man: I should.

The Princess: I think you should post up on one of your internet forums and say "I was feeling crummy and I needed to go to bed early but my wife kept me up late chattering about the X-Men comics." Then you can see all the sympathy you get.

Notes to Self for next Halloween

2009-11-02T20:28:40Z

Put all the elements of the outfit on the child at the first Halloween party he attends. Get a picture. With a bedtime of 7:30pm and a high mosquito population, you're not going to take him trick or treating.

Some people may believe that nothing says Halloween like wasp carcasses, but many of your guests may not agree. Sweep the porch the day before, not at 6pm the same day.

Candy you don't like is a win. It's a win-win to open the door for the last trick or treater you're willing to deal with and giving him everything that's left. (One win for you, one win for him, no wins for his parents probably but you can't please everyone.)

That was a low blow, my dear

2009-10-29T02:58:01Z

The Princess: Just leave those boxes in the trunk, I'll get them later.

C-Man: Are you sure?

The Princess: Take it safe. Um. Play it easy. Um. Do something, I don't know!

C-Man: Make the pie higher?

Bill Analysis One Page at a Time? Good Luck With That.

2009-10-21T15:55:54Z

For the second time this year, I have run across a blog post suggesting that people work together to read the entirety of one of the health care bills... by each reading one page. Today's find is 1,502 at conservative blog bRight and Early.

Am I the only one here who has ever READ a bill? They don't come in 1-page chunks.

Here's a comment from one of the readers of the Baucus bill (PDF):

Page 774 establishes quality standards by the Secretary, Who ever that is, for the "Pilot Program". [...] My concern is the "Secretary" seems to have the ability to do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants. Maybe some other part of this bill tells us his regulated powers, but I doubt it!

My guess? The Secretary is defined somewhere else in the bill, and the powers are defined elsewhere in the bill. If not, that's a legitimate criticism. But if you don't even check, what's the point of this exercise?

Would I want to read a 1,502 page bill all myself? No, and it wouldn't make any sense to try. I applaud the idea of working together to produce a summary and analysis. But page by page makes no sense. I can only imagine what insights will be gleaned from all the pages that start mid-sentence.

They do section the dang thing, y'all. There's even a table of contents.

The Two Year Old Quiz, Part 1

2009-10-19T14:03:14Z

Directions: Choose the word that most appropriately follows the phrase.

"What's up..."

a) Baby duck
b) Babycup
c) Buttercup
d) Any of the above.

[Updated to add: This post seemed a lot clearer in my head. Boy Detective would answer d, apparently.]

WTF Craigslist?

2009-10-16T21:59:17Z

I listed something on Craigslist. An orchid, which I think is dying, because Grace gave it to me and I didn't want it so I didn't water it. It's in a nice pot, and may not actually be dead yet as the leaves are still green. I attached a photo.

Someone flagged the post for removal.

What?

Dude, I listed this possibly dying plant for FREE. FREE. No one has to take it if they don't want to. I was very clear about the condition. And before it got flagged and removed, two people had emailed me wanting it! So obviously I am not offending all Craigslist readers with my post.

On one hand, someone's coming to pick it up right now, so it doesn't actually matter. On the other hand, I kind of want to yell at someone.

Things For Which My Life Is Too Short

2009-10-15T16:28:55Z

Learning how to use Photoshop well.
Caring that I don't know how to use Photoshop well.

Newsy: How is this helping, exactly?

2009-10-13T22:39:09Z

So I'm over at Wired reading an article about Newsy, an up and coming news website/service thingy. They assemble video clips of coverage on a single issue from multiple sources so people can see how the issue was reported differently on different news outlets.

This, my friends, is cool. People, including me, need to have their certainty messed with regularly.

Then I got to this part:

Newsy [...] does a fine enough job of presenting competing viewpoints from global news sources in a condensed video format. But it's content to stop there, shying away from the next logical step of analyzing these competing viewpoints to figure out which one is the most accurate, the way FactCheck.org does.

Another piece of the puzzle, to be developed with some of the new funding, will be ranking system where the crowd votes up and down which of the news sources are closest to getting it right.

I'm sorry, WTF? Double WTF? WTF with a side of are you high? How the hell does the crowd have a clue who got it right? Popularity and correctness are not the same thing.

I headed over to Newsy to learn more. This is how Newsy describes what they do on their About page:

By monitoring the world's new coverage, we provide immediate analysis of news perspectives so you can form your own opinion. You'll find it an informative and a convenient resource that you will want to check daily. We will not change the news, but we will change your view of it. Global access to multiple perspectives helps provide the real story.

On the page called Story Selection, it says this:

We work together to research, write and edit our stories, paying close attention to providing our audience with unique perspectives and analysis of the differences in coverage. Our stories are written by a diverse team of people with many voices working together to create a unique final product.

I watched two videos: Obama to Choose Afghanistan Path and Catching Rays and Resentments.

Oh the underwhelm.

What do you get when you combine teensy clips from news broadcasts with a "host" who describes for you what angles each media outlet is concentrating on while reporting on the topic?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. If it's an event you're unfamiliar with, you get barely enough information to even know what happened, let alone make any sense of the micro-coverage that follows. Even if one could make the argument that juxtaposing different coverage of the same topic is analysis in and of itself, which I would dispute, Newsy seems to fail miserably at even that.

Part of the problem with today's journalism is an overreliance on the "they said this, the other people said the opposite" form of reporting where no attempt is made to weigh both claims and arrive at a conclusion - even on something that is empirically verifiable. Newsy is like the MTV version of that syndrome.

Seriously, take a look and tell me if I got it all wrong. Does a Newsy clip offer you anything in the form of information, analysis, or exposure to a range of perspectives?

I would get insurance money for that, right? Or at least it would destroy the horrible deck?

2009-10-12T22:53:24Z

Mother in Law: I can't believe how much Johnson grass I pulled up out there.

The Princess: I give up for this year.

Mother in Law: I just remember that I pulled out so much of it in the spring when Boy Detective and I would be outside on the deck.

The Princess: My new plan for the yard is for a helicopter to crash into it.

Things That Made Me Laugh

2009-10-11T03:13:50Z

Our trip to the opthalmologist on Where the Kudzu Grows

Cash for Mama's Junk? on Mental P Mama

Today's Specials on Assertagirl

A Star is Born on The Playpen

pick one on just a girl in the world

To the Faux Vegetarians on Vanilla Garlic

I'm a Failure and the Kids Know It on Funky Green Machine

The Comforter Saga

2009-10-09T14:39:54Z

While I am on the topic of decorating my house, let me tell you about the comforter saga. I don't think it's quite as compelling as the television saga, but it has better visuals. Which is to say any visuals. Which is to say that you RSS reader people are going to have to click on over here because I think my blocking people from hotlinking my photographs of the Mondrian building is keeping you from seeing any pictures I ever post. Don't blame me, blame the thieves.

Before we got married in November of 2006 (remember, remember, the 5th of November), we ordered a king size bed. We lived in a 500 square foot apartment, which means we were going to devote about 47% of our floor space to the bed, but I wanted a new bed to start my marriage and dammit, if we were going to buy one, we might as well get what I really wanted. Basically, enough room to sleep without C-Man touching me. I'm romantic that way.

I don't even know how they got the dang thing into the apartment, let alone the bedroom, because we were on our honeymoon when it was delivered. (Thanks for helping, Kate!) If we had known we were going to move into a house eight weeks later, we might have delayed that purchase.

Either right before or right after the wedding, I got the brilliant idea that I would make a king size scrap quilt for the bed. Because I worked with the Legislature and it was about to start its biennial session which we were currently preparing for, so I would have a ton of free time. We threw a couple of almost big enough blankets over the top and I started cutting out fabric.

Into 2 inch by 3.5 inch rectangles. To make a king size quilt.

I was still cutting by the time we moved into the house. Twelve days after we moved, right about the beginning of February, I started to feel sick. Really sick. Oh hey, pregnant. And then I spent the next five and a half months nauseated 24 hours a day. And the Legislative session was going on. When I finally wasn't too sick to do anything but work and curl up in bed and want to die, I asked C-Man whether he wanted to help me work on the quilt. If he worked with me and we picked which rectangles went in which blocks, it would go fast, and it would be a team effort awwwww, and it would be fun.

It was not fun. It was not fun in a way that involved a near-fight and C-Man breathing really deeply and finally getting a beer in order to calm down. In case you are a quilter, I will insert the phrases "trying to make a scrap quilt look like a batik quilt in the book" and "thinking really hard about which pieces go in which block" and you will see that this man had just missed the concept.

We decided I would abandon that quilt and make one with reeeeallllly big pieces. Before the baby came. We went to the quilt store, picked out fabrics, and that went really well. I cut the blocks, and we laid them out on the bed, then agreed on the layout. I sewed them into rows, then we decided to cut some of those rows apart to make the design a little more interesting. We agreed on the layout again.

When my ankles were the size of my calves, I gave up and quickly sewed closed the holes in a queen size comforter that friends had given us when they married and consolidated households. The holes were from when their dogs tried to eat it. I used embroidery floss that almost matched. I just wanted the inside fluffy stuff not to leak out. Then I put the blood pressure monitor cuff back on.

We did not freeze to death that winter.

Whenever we would go to stores like Bed Bath and Beyond, I would check out their selection. I wasn't trying to be picky, but I wanted something I could enjoy until the quilts finally got done someday when Boy Detective went off to college. I looked online for organic cotton options, and again struck out. I already had a plain green one on the bed. I wanted something with a design. As I got more and more tired of the dog-chewed holes etc. I really, really wanted something new.

Green Your Decor, as I have previously mentioned, is one of my favorite blogs. Jennae is awesome, she is just as lovely in person as you would expect from reading her blog, and she does these cool little design boards from time to time. Green Decorating in Shades of Blue was one such design board, and it included this image:

Duvet cover. Bingo. It was not my dream, but it was organic cotton and on sale and blue. Ordered it that night.

Now what to put in it? Feeling a little silly about not thinking this through.

Want to spend $350? Buy an organic cotton king size comforter. Already spent quite a lot on the duvet cover and shams.

Cheap trumped eco, I'm sad to say, and I went to Overstock.com to buy the cheapest 100% cotton comforter I could find. This one.

It had two things going for it: 100% cotton, and f!&king hilarious.

Sadly, when it arrived, I discovered it was not 100% cotton as advertised. I draw the line at sleeping under polyester, and it must go back.

Punishment for my attempt to evade environmental responsibility? You tell me.

Environmentalist's Dilemma: The Shower Curtain

2009-10-09T01:32:16Z

Peeps, I have angst.

Dictionary.com defines angst as "A feeling of anxiety or apprehension often accompanied by depression" and that is exactly what I feel every time I think about my shower curtain. The vinyl shower curtain was purchased in 2003, and it is dying. I have tried running it through the washer. I have scrubbed it by hand on the driveway. I have scavenged from plastic packaging to cut small rectangular bits, punched holes in them, and taped them over where the hole for the shower curtain ring used to be before it was finally torn through.

At this point, though, I cannot get it satisfactorily clean and it is disintegrating faster than I care to maintain it. We need a new one.

So, my friends who care about the planet, what do I get?

After the flap about how many VOCs are emitted by regular vinyl shower curtains made with PVC, I definitely do not want to go there. I know there are now PVC-free plastic curtains, and I wish I could justify buying one, because my vision is so bad without my contacts that I crave all the light I can get when showering.

But honestly, less toxic plastic is still plastic, and we have made significant efforts to cut down on that around here. We're due for another round of improvement (*cough* why are plastic bags getting brought home exactly dear people who are not me? *cough*), but it's something we care about. Is a plastic shower curtain really a need? Or is it a want?

When I lived in Austin before, c. 1995 to 1997, I had a canvas shower curtain. It went from off-white to off-white with decorative mildew stains quicker than you can say boo. Our current bathroom is so humid that our "pewter" shower curtain rod from Target has rusted after 2.5 years in this house, and I'm pretty sure there is no metal in it.

(Kind of like the time I got stopped for an extra security check on my shoes after I went through the metal detectors at the Newark airport on my way back from Paris. THEY WERE FROM PAYLESS, PEOPLE, THERE WAS NO METAL!)

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I would do a better job maintaining it this time. We certainly do enough laundry around here that laundering it twice a week would be an option. So something like these organic cotton ones might be lovely.

However, I am remembering the time when water started dripping from the kitchen light fixture because C-Man loves to spill water outside of the shower and the grout in our tile floor up there is a mess. And that was with plastic.

Perhaps I should just have the bathroom remodeled? A shower door doesn't need a curtain, right?

But what's the carbon footprint of one bathroom remodel versus 10 plastic shower curtains (my lifetime supply if they last 6 years and I live to be 95 in this house)?

We'll see you next time on the continuing adventures of trying to make my house look decent without feeling like I burned down 300 square feet of rainforest.

In The Days After The Slaughter

2009-10-08T03:25:40Z

Mr. UPS Man For My Neighborhood,

Thank you for putting the box with the comforter in it on top of the wasp carcasses.

Love,
The Princess