Love, Lust and Life

Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:33:00 +0000

The video bellow, How To Practice Buddhist Loving Kindness Meditation, was uploaded on Youtube by Howcast. I practiced this mediattion for the first time to today and it felt wonderful. II started writing an article on this practice and plan to publish next week but I thought it would be great if I could encourage you to try it out in the mean time. To summarize loving kindness meditation--- Howcast writes:

"Metta bhavana, or loving-kindness meditation, is one of the two simplest meditations in Buddhism. It helps develop positive feelings towards ourselves and all other living creatures."

How To Practice Buddhist Loving-Kindness Meditation

Did you like the video? Have you practiced this technique before? If so please leave a comment and share about your experience with loving kindness meditation.

I'm In Love...With Facebook

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Facebook uploaded by _Max-B on Flickr

After being harassed by hubby, for years..., I finally decided to give Facebook a try. This was not my first time so I have a couple of sorry profiles that remain abandoned. So many people loved Facebook but I just did not get it...It was a boring, a waste of time, and only encouraged people to be self indulgent... Are you so important that you have to announce to the world that you are now drinking coffee and will soon be taking a shower so that you can walk your dog? That's what I use to think about Facebook and I did not want any part of it...

But for the sake of encouraging my true love blogging, I mean my husband, I decided to give it a try. This time took and now I'm hooked... Now that I have more narcissism practice under my belt, ...via Love, Lust and Life..., I don't mind updating my status to let the world know that I have updated the blog or that I like this photograph. I had no idea that through the application you are able able to customize Facebook and focus on the things that you like to do. Now I take a lot of joy watching my number friends and fans grow. Facebook a great way to get more blog followers and introduces me to a lot of cool info, pictures and links because of my friends updated status.

And if that was not enough I just joined Friend Feed....I must warn you that Friend Feed is equally as addictive as Facebook, but I would still recommend giving it. Friend Feed has many application that keep you connected to Twitter and Facebook so that you can...(clears throat in order to sound convincing)...spend less time on the social networks...When I stumbled upon the site and I had no clue but because of my Twitter experience I found it easy to catch on and it was love at first site (lol, get it!?!...site not sight never mind!). Since I am technologically challenged I copied Wikipedia's definition to explain what Friend Feed is all about:

FriendFeed is a real-time feed aggregator that consolidates the updates from social media and social networking websites, social bookmarking websites, blogs and micro-blogging updates, as well as any other type of RSS/ Atom feed. It is possible to use this stream of information to create customized feeds to share, as well as originate new posts-discussions, (and comment) with friends.^[1] The goal of FriendFeed according to their website is to make content on the Web more relevant and useful by using existing social network as a tool for discovering interesting information. Users can be an individual, business or organization. Bloggers writing about FriendFeed have said that this service addresses the shortcomings of social media services which exclusively facilitate tracking of their own members' social media activities on that particular social media service, whereas FriendFeed provides the facility to track these activities (such as posting on blogs, Twitter and Flickr) across a broad range of different social networks.

So if you become a Facebook friend, a Love, Lust and Life fan, a Twitter follower or a Friend Feed subscriber please contact me and let me now so that I can return the favor.

...Addicted To Facebook- Manic Motherhood

The Look...Of Love...Not In...Your Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:00:00 +0000

I just read a good article on the blog Waiting For The World To Change and I and felt inspired to write a response. Blog author Zosimee published an excerpt from Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships, a book about the difference between conditional and unconditional love. Reading this article gave me a new perspective and helped me articulate my own beliefs about the authenticity of love. I agree with the overall principles that I read but found myself getting stuck on a couple of the points made issue. Can look be used as evidence of love? ...Wouldn't it be great to know the look of love?

Storm In A Tea Cup uploaded by Poe Tatum

Here's an excerpt taken from The Destructive Legacy of Love that I disagreed with:

"...Fortunately, there are two reliable signs that love is not genuine: disappointment and anger...As a child, I was thrilled when my mother smiled at me, spoke softly, and held me, because I knew from those behaviors that she loved me. I also noticed that she did those pleasant things more often when I was "good" - when I was quiet, grateful, and cooperative. In other words, I saw that she loved me more when I did what she liked...When I was "bad" - noisy, disobedient, and otherwise inconvenient - she did not speak softly or smile at me. On those occasions, she frowned, sighed with disappointment, and often spoke in a harsh tone of voice. Although it was certainly unintentional, she clearly told me with those behaviors that she loved me less, and that was the worst pain in the world for me..."

Disappointment, anger, yelling or disapproving looks are emotional reflexes... Not signs of conditional love. Genuine reactions and expressions are what keep us emotionally and mentally well. You can choice the alternative, stuffing or manipulating your reactions in an attempt to display Real Love. Too many people define love as a feeling! When they can't eat and most of their thoughts are consumed by one person, they are in love. But when a person doesn't buy you the present you hoped for it's assumed that they don't have Real Love for you.

Here's another excerpt from the same article:

"Conditional love is [based on]... how...[people] feel...do what they want... or at least...[do]...nothing to inconvenience [them]. In other words, we have to buy conditional love from the people around us...It's critical that we be able to distinguish between Real Love and conditional love. When we can't do that, we tend to settle for giving and receiving conditional love, which leaves us empty, unhappy, and frustrated..."

That's true! Love is a commitment to support and encourage others to best of your ability. Sometimes people that we admire and care for do things that hinder or hurt themselves and/or others. Accepting people for who they are is essential in expressing love but setting personal boundaries is equally important to maintain balance. Every living thing makes toxic materials that must be eliminated in order to function properly; loved gets stifled in realtionships where problems are ignored. Stop trying to tolerate what you believe is bad behavior. . If you yell at someone you love because of a wrong assumption don't beat yourself up. Instead take responsiblity for your mistake, apologize for the hurt you've caused, explain what you plan to do the next time you are tempted to loss it so that they can hold you accountable and ask the person if there is something you can do to make up for it you bad behavior. Get comfortable with making communication mistakes and learn from them and forgive yourself. "Love keeps no record of wrongs."

Feelings and emotions are temporary experiences...not love indicators. So what is love? Love as a noun is the commitment you make to those around you. Love as a verb are the actions you take to help, encourage and appreciate those around you. Feelings are wonderful but should not be confused with Real Love.

Related Post:
Hurt Feelings- Love, Lust and Life
Open Heart- Love, Lust and Life
Complaining About Hubby- Saturday Love
The Destructive Legacy of Love- Waiting On The World To Change

Kids... Made You Laugh

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

From babies to teens...kids have a special brand of humor that can lift any mood. This week I found three YouTube videos with some funny kids. The first video is sweet & innocent, the second is a reminder to just say no, while the third is for MTV reality show fans. I hope you enjoy.

I couldn't understand why men think that women are genetically predisposed to excessive talking... until I saw this video.

Most kids are scared to go to the dentist, but I loved it. After watching this video I wonder if the bubble gum scented gas peaked my interest.

MTV's Teen Cribs is difficult to appreciate. The concept...teens that have never earned a dime showing off their plush palace while the parents get 10 seconds of screen time. No mention of the hard work that afforded them the lavish lifestyle. The kids are wined and dined by their staff and surround by their numerous friends. I get concerned about these kid's sense of morals and social aptitude. Watch the video and to understand where I'm coming from.

Please leave a comment. Share any funny stories to share about your kids or your childhood? Or you can share what made you laugh this week?

Inspirational Video

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Affirmation have the power to help you endure the challenges in life. When the going gets tough Don't Quit, instead take a moment to breath and remind yourself that struggles are temporary. If we preserver and work hard success will follow. If stumble of fall, recover your balance...get up and push forward. The finish line gets closer with every step you take...

...The video is very encouraging so I'll stop rambling if you watch. Even if you don't watch I'll never know unless you tell me. But if you haven't seen it you really should watch...Even if you have seen it you should watch it again because...Sorry I'm rambling again...

The Don't Quit Poem uploaded by InspirationalVideos

Related Post:

Don't Quit- 3L Spiritual Sunday

My Money Secret- 3L TCB Tuesday

Stay Motivated- Love, Lust and Life

Mom's Cancer Scare

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

I consider my mom a beacon of health so imagine my surprise when she told me that her doctor found cancer...

...Mom loves only lives 15 minutes away but I still get excited when she calls or wants to spend time with me. This phone call was different. There was something in her voice that let me know that she really needed me. I can't articulate it but I knew that I had to be there for her to talk to her. Problem was that Cinna, my sister-in-law was on punishment. I did not want to leave her alone in the house but my mom hinted that she would rather see me alone.

I trusted my instincts and agree to come alone, but when I talked to hubby he was equally concerned with leaving Cinna all alone, so with my mom's permission I took her with me the next morning. My mom, was glowing...she is usually a fun loving person but she is not the give you a big hug everything you walk through the door type. Instead she has got a killer sense of humor and a fierce stare that will cut you to pieces when she's mad, but today there was joy. Seeing her put my mind at ease and let me know that she had good news...and that she was happy to see me (Big relief).

My mom needed some project help that required some tech skills, so I took the easy part and gave Cinna the figure out this computer program part. While Cinna was in the office, my mom and I laughed and talked for over an hour until she laid it on me oh so casually. She'd gone to the doctor for a colonoscopy and they fond a cancerous polyp. She was schedule for a follow up to see if there cancer had spread and wanted to know if I could drive her. Strange thing was that we were both okay. I ave ever reason to hope for the best and she still had that unexplained glow like she was in love with life with only a touch of fear.

Next week me and my sister took mom to her second colonoscopy, and I have to say it was a good day. It felt so good to be all together and to have someone to talk to while I waited for my mom. Me and sis walked and talked outside as we walked a lap around the hospital. Mom was a little sore since the first test had only been a few days ago, but she was still in good spirits. So we when to her house, ate pizza and watched movies. It was a good day...

It became a bad day when the doctor did not call as promised. He was supposed to call on Monday but mom could not get to him. When she called th office the nurses assured her that he would call as soon as he could, that her results were on his desk and insisted she would hear from him soon. Since knowing is half the battle the whole family felt scared and stressed as they came up to scary possible answers for why she hadn't heard from the doctor. My sister was the most stressed and had pretty much resigned herself to a the probably of the results being bad news. Finally I was able to use my big sister skills and remind her that hope never fails. She listened and we felt better, but still anxious.

Long story short...my mom is cancer free. The surrounded cells were not cancerous and there will be no further treatments just another colonoscopy next year. The only reason why she was tested in the first place was because she'd heard that you were supposed to start having colonoscopies when you are fifty. She had no symptoms but asked her doctor to schedule a test. It was her intuition and assertiveness that allows me to joyfully proclaim that my mommy is cancer free.

Yeah Me!!!- Blog Awards

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

I just finished celebrating my first blogging year, and I still get excited when one person comments on a post. Thanks to two of my blogging buddies, Dani and Hypnotransformations, I can now brag about my award-winning blog. It feels great to think that little old me could entertain people with my writing and modest blog. Please don't let my humility fool you; I do plan to take over the world, but I realize that it may take a lot of time and some major skill development.

Until then, I want to say thanks to everyone who visits, supports and comments on 3L. Love, Lust and Life started off as a private venting session but has turned into a labor of love that I'm really proud of.Who knew I had this much to say? I'm grateful for any attention that comes 3L's way!

Related Links:
I'm a Kreative Blogger- Talent Tuesday
I Feel My Head Getting Bigger- Daily Dose of Danni
I Won An Award - Hypnotransformations

Open Heart

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

It is hard to be completely open to everybody and everything without turning into a doormat. Early in life we learn to label events, people, and places as good or bad, right or wrong, helpful or hurtful. As we strive to live a perfect life we end up closing our hearts and minds to new perceptions and experiences. In order to build up our character and status (ego) we things outside of ourselves to identify with. People that you consider like minded become your friends, while everyone else you kept at bay. The more we identify with thoughts, emotions, experiences and material objects the more enemies we gain. It is easy to become judgmental and to lose sight of the beauty that every spirit holds.

In our society we often use the words "feeling" and "emotion" interchangeably even though we should be aware of their different meanings. Feelings are part of our automatic response to physical sensations which leads to thoughts of awareness. Emotions involve moods anger, desire or joy and are produced in response to physical sensations and thoughts of attachment and identity. Developing the ability to become aware of our feelings allows us to be less reactive to the emotions we experience.

It is an important step to be aware of feeling because awareness unlocks the conditioning of our hearts. We are conditioned to believe that pleasant sensations will bring us happiness; that belief leads us to unhealthy attachments that end up cause rigidity and painful losses . We are also conditioned to react to unpleasant sensations with anger, fear and aversion because of our belief that doing so will make us happy. A neutral feeling often un-noticed but it can lead to an aversion to actives that induce them. For instance boredom is a neutral feeling that makes meditation undesirable or difficult. Instead of sitting still and clearing our thoughts our mind searches for something more exciting. The of dance of running after pleasure and avoiding unpleasantries and neutral feeling keeps looks like a chasing the wind and can lead to a constant state of stress and discontent.

Increasing mindfulness is the cure for this condition. Simply being aware of the present moment whether things are pleasant, unpleasant or neutral will de-conditioning these patterns of reactivity. These concepts are new to me and the only method I know to achieve mindfulness is by practicing meditation. Meditation helps build your ability to focus and build awareness with an open heart. Simply being aware, accepting the present unconditionally, gives you the ability to see from new and fresh perspectives (free from baggage).

When you've lived with a foggy perspective so long, the process of awareness can seem stressful in the beginning. If you believe in our heart that you are the nicest person that you've ever meet and you become aware of you rudeness it can be hard to deal with. It can also be overwhelming to identify yourself as a depressed loner with sociopathic tendency and to soundly realize that you have a lot of love in your heart. A lot of time we identify with what traits that make us feel respectable and safe. Becoming aware of our facades can shake our beliefs systems. There we are in a whole new world with out the crutch that we once considered the best part of ourselves.

If you have started meditating but find yourself bored, stressed or insecure...hold on it gets better. Meditation will help you recognize the feeling you experience and will break your false identifications. You'll begin to see actions and events as just an experience that is happening rather than "my experience" or "me." This awareness of how we react creates the possibility of responding to feeling with more flexibility and appropriateness for each situation rather than simply reacting based on past conditioning.

Related Links:

Instructions for Mindfulness of Feelings- Mental Monday
Introduction to Mindfulness- Mental Monday
Pleasure Is Meaningless- Spiritual Sunday

No Bombs Just Dance

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 12:37:00 +0000

I don't doubt that war is necessary in the world we live in today, but I wish that someone would invent a method of expressing our freedom and power without using weapons. If I had it my way we would fight our battles with a dance contest. .

It's silly concept, I know, but I have recently discovered the power of hope. Wouldn't it be great we could just hope our troops home? So if you know anyone that could change our foreign policies and make this a reality I would greatly appreciate the help. Please try to convince them that dancing is powerful step in the right direction. Whose with me?...

I love movies where the rival gang set up to intimidate and start dancing as an entertaining form of annihilation. Fighting has always been pointless to me. People get hurt and nothing is solved. The point of war is to kill until the other side is too weak to oppose you... Yes I know that it is a little more complicated than that but when you see dead bodies after a silent and peaceful protest it still seems senseless. In war both sides lose innocent civilians and self sacrificing soldiers.

Dancing does not solve much but it does solve the need to vent frustration. If anger and fear are expressed in a healthy way then peace meetings and compromises would be possible.

"My new motto don't shot, just bring it!" I'm not sure if it will catch on but here's hoping.

Related Post:

Never Forget 9/11- Amusing Bunni's Musings
Yesterday's Problems- Positive Attitudes Quotes
Love Your Enemy- Spiritual Sunday

Reading Rainbow

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Reading Rainbow was a great kids show that ran for 26 years long years. It will be missed by kids and parents a like and I hope that its legacy of encouraging kids fall in love with reading lives on forever.

Old School Reading Rainbow Theme uploaded by everlong1039

Related Links:
'Reading Rainbow' Reaches Its Final Chapter by Ben Calhoun:

So You Think You Can Dance

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 09:10:00 +0000

The Ellen DeGeneres Show returned for its seventh season on Tuesday, September 8th. She performs a choreographed dance with the top ten dancers from So You think You Can Dance.

If you enjoyed that you will love this little girl. She can dance and contorts with so much energy it is exhausting to watch, but fascinating.

Just in case you have not seen enough renditions of the Single Ladies video I thought I would bring one more. You'll be surprised to see how accurate this little lady actually is compared to the real video!

Today take some time to let your hair down, if you have that option, and shake your booty.

So if you're feeling a little sad or you're not as good as Ellen and the other professional dancers, shrug shoulders and just have fun to your favorite song. Have a great weekend : )

Easy Stress Busters

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:16:00 +0000

I'm stressed out...how about you?

...Why do I ask? Stress has a way of sucking the productivity, health and joy right out of you and I want to share a few ways to combat stress. One of the best stress relievers I know is good old fashioned exercise. Working out at a moderate pace for at least 20 minutes a day helps to releases a lot of tension. Pick an activity that you enjoy like basketball, playing with your kids, gardening or dancing and you will score extra endorphins.

Talking to understanding friends is also a great way to let off some steam. Sometimes we store up stress in our bodies because we are too busy or too embarrassed to express our personal problems. Find people whom you trust to open up about things that are troubling you the most...Sometimes just getting it out in the open is all you need to feel better.

But the most important stress buster is taking the time to identify the root problem and then brainstorming for the best solution. Schedule at least 15 minutes of quiet time everyday: tea on the patio, prayer in a closet, mediation at dusk, laying in bed before you start your day, or walking in the park. Sitting still will help you focus and find your worries, fears and frustrations. Make problem resolution a top priority and commit to removing anything that hinders more than it helps. When you are stressed it is easy to feel overwhelmed and helpless, so seek advice from people you respect.

Life will always have its challenges so don't wait for perfection. Learn what it takes for you to relax in times of stress and look for enjoyment in what you already have : )

Top Ten Stress Busters uploaded by illumistream

Movies Featuring Mental Illness

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Here's a list of some of the best movies featuring a theme of mental illness, learning disabilities or amnesia disorders. Some of the movies fall into more than one category so I choose the one best fit the plot.

Love Stories

Blue Sky
Beautiful Mind
Woman Under The Influence
Mad Love
As Good As It Gets
Punch Drunk Love

Family Bond/Secrets

Rain Man
The Boy Who Could Fly
I am Sam
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
The Hours
White Orleander
Prince of Tides

Comedy

Lars And The Real Girl
What About Bob
Harvey
Dream Team
Crazy People
Finding Nemo
Me, Myself and Irene

Institutions vs Independence

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Girl Interrupted
Awakenings
The Other Sister
Fisher King
Benny and Joon

With A Twist

Fight Club
K-Pax
The Others
Michael
Identity
Secret Window
Donny Darko

Dark Themes

Psycho
Sixth Sense
What Lies Beaneath
Play Misty
Fatal Attraction
Misery
Fragility

Amensia

Bourne Identity
Memento
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
50 First Dates

The Stigma of Schizophrenia

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

So you what if you have schizophrenia? Schizophrenia, like most other mental illness, are a attached to a stigma that is not easily shaken.You of course are a beacon of mental health but many people out there have had to struggle with mental issues that has left them feeling alone and isolated. I would love for you to take a moment to imagine how your life would change if you were diagnosed with schizophrenia. The unique combination of characteristics that made you special, sexy, or silly are now associated to your sickness. The people who know look at with pity and try to keep their distance just in case... At what point do you share your diagnoses with an employer, your dates, your family, or your neighbors?

There are a many unfaltering characteristics attributed to schizophrenics: weird, egocentric, delusional, impulsive, unstable, unsafe, homeless, poor, uneducated, learning disabled, sociopaths, multiple personalities, violent, and incapable of recognizing reality. When someone suffers with extreme symptoms of mental illness their behavior can become a eradicate and scary but those are behaviors and not an expression the person. Most people with this diagnoses never become violent, able to manage this effectively thorough appropriate treatment methods, and maintian "normal" productive lives.

I first become interested in psychology are the age of 9. My parents had medical encyclopedias and I loved scanning for illness and diseases, both physical and medical, but for some reason schizophrenia struck a chord in me. My heart went out to people who suffered from the list of symptoms that I read. I'd guess the discrimination that I'd experienced lead me take on stand that everyone deserves to live a life free of stigmas and discrimination. Still I'm sure there was a part of me that wondered about my own psychosis. After all I've seen some dead people, had several weird experiences, and wondered if one day I would be classified as crazy. I imagined having to work hard to attain the life that I wanted because the stigma in-spite of the fact that I was a normally functioning adult. I have been to several therapist through out my life and my only diagnoses has been depression (...BORING...).

Still I had some experience with schizophrenia through my work in health care. Each person that I worked with that shared a diagnosed but did not share the same manifestations of the illness. Each person had their own unique personality and set challenges. If I had to guess I would say that I've personally worked with 30 people that had schizophrenia, all but one also had a traumatic brain injury.Most of my clients have earned a permanent spot in my heart because of what I've experience with them. A lot of coworkers looked at me crossed eyes as I built a personal relationship with these individuals; how unprofessional is it to listen to advice or lend a shoulder to cry on for these people.

Thank God I stopped caring about pleasing my coworkers and instead learned to trust my instincts because I was able to get to know some awesome individuals who have taught me a lot about life and love. Never have I felt personally unsafe or uncomfortable around them; however I must say that our program was not equipped for extreme cases so someone working in a mental hospital might have a different perspective. Still I think its important to always look at people as people, not illness. My clients were people in a difficult situation focusing on developing skills to regain their independence through working their customized rehabilitation program...and a lot of them made it. Many left the rehabilitation to center to work full-time, continue their education, get their own place, or to go home and raise their kids.

So if you have a negative stereotype of schizophrenia I encourage you to take a minute and visit one of the blogs bellow. I found them Schizophrenia.com and thought it would be good way for people to get familiar with the disease and with those whose suffer from it. If you yourself have been diagnosed with any mental illness take comfort that society views are changing with the influx of information that's on the internet. In the mean time take pride in yourself for who you are and not what you have.

Removing Stigma Mental Health Part 1

Schizophrenia Blogs:

Kristin Bell's Video Blog
My Life's Adventure
The Wife of a Schizophrenia

Finding Your Hidden Anger

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 12:52:00 +0000

You've seen passive-aggression in action...someone persistently denying their anger either imploding or exploding at inappropriate times. Hidden anger can be annoying or very destructive to the bearer or anyone that person comes into contact with. When some people think of anger they envision the Incredible Hulk who warns his audience by saying, "You won't like me when I'm angry". Now it is up to everyone to get out of the way and avoid pushing the buttons of this mild manner human that is two seconds away from becoming a green muscle bound monster that is destined to destroy everything in his path. Aggressive anger is obvious and takes the form of threats, screams, physically blows and destruction. That kind of anger can be scary and the damage is immediate and obvious.

Too many people fear anger so they overcompensate by avoidance, but anger can be very productive. Anger is useful for protecting yourself, solving problems, and spurring on honest and direct communication. Its okay to be angry, so if it occurs don't fight it. Emotions come and go but its up to us to know what to do when we feel them. Anger can never justify being hot headed, mean,rude, self centered, bitter, dishonest, or spiteful. Instead anger should be used as fuel to work through the problem until you come up with a smart and safe solution and then the anger should be let go.

I found the book Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness very helpful in pinpointing the many of the signs of hidden anger. Co-authors Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin write that one of the biggest problems with hidden anger is its ability to mask itself as a mistake, a bad habit or someone else's failure. It can be subtle and hard to spot, but it is just as destructive as aggressive anger. The passive person is not aware of the control that the harbored anger has on their own actions. It could be as harmless as losing your key, arriving late, or accidentally knocking something over; it can be as dangerous as drug abuse or suicidal thoughts. Passive-aggression can be asssoicated with some or all of the following:

Chronic irritability and chronic depression
Self-absorption/narcissism/vanity
Low self-esteem
Self-destructive behavior or acting out
substance abuse and addictive behavior
Unacceptable conduct that's excused for many reasons

This book included a quiz to assess hidden anger. If you're interested take a minute to assess how you're doing by completing a brief questionnaire on 3L-Saturday Love.

When you uncover anger you are able to deal with it in a healthy way. To get angry is not sinful is does not mean that you are likely to go on a murderous rampage, instead it will help you get in touch with your values and problems (or relationships) that are hindering your success in life. By accepting all your emotions as they come it will lead to balanced thinking and productive actions. Don't be so quick to assume that you are free of passivity; I would argue that everyone stuffs their emotions from time to time. Take the time to search your heart and mind for hidden anger and you might be able to explain why your old habits are so hard to break.

Thundercats

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 11:47:00 +0000

Do you remember Saturday morning cartoons? I do and Thundercats was one of my favorites. I was got so excited to hear the intro and I would yell loudly at the TV, "thunder...Thunder...THUNDER...Thunder Cats HOOOOO! Entertain your inner child by watching an episode of Thunder Cats today.

Just a warning:

The video bellow can no longer be viewed with the same respect that once I had for this series. It may appear cheesy, weak and pointless to the average layman. Anybody seeing this series for the first time might have the following side effects: boredom, a rolling of the eyes, and a sudden urge to turn of your computer. These are all normal reactions but if you experience them just stop the video and consult with a friend to make sure there is not permenanet brain damage to your cognitive abilties.

Watch full Episodes of Thudercats on Fancast.

Song Game

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 17:22:00 +0000

Music can be so much fun. Ever since I was a little girl music has been a big part of my life; I have specific memories of playing with my Barbies with dramatic hits playing in the background like...

I'll admit it...My Barbies did get busy from time to time but it was mostly innocent. Whether I'm dancing, attending a concerts or just sitting with friends music has a way of enhancing the experience. For instance at church parties we would often get together to play a song game...A few of my friends recognized me as a human radio because of all the song lyrics. I did not consider myself a competitive person until this game, and it's many variations, brought my inner ~~beats~~ (I mean beast). However I've been humbled by my fellow blippers who have the ability to wow me with their songs selections: NicoleVSanchez, DJDolceVita, SpinninSara,Jingothefool, abert, and angiece

I now know that there are a lot of songs out there that I still haven't heard and thought it would be fun to give the game a go. Please join the fun and let me know of any music games you enjoy.

Game Rules

I'll post a song title and artist. The next person has to do one of two things:

1. Post another song by the same artist, OR
2. Post a different song and artist, with the new song title containing one of the words from the song title before it. Not from the artist, from the SONG TITLE.

*If someone publishes a comment regarding a entry before you do, just delete and try again.

Shall I begin?

The Police – Every Little Thing She Does is Magic " ♫ http://blip.fm/~cj5mv

Relaxation Meditation

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:00:00 +0000

It is so easy to meditate when you are staying in a cottage by yourself on vacation, but I have found it difficult to clear my mind at home. First the distractions are hard to tune out and my mind, that is use to constant stimulus, bombards me with constant thoughts. How can you focus on breathe when you are trying to figure if your mom is going to be okay, will Cinna miss home, what to get hubby for his b-day etc...

I just read an article titled Relaxation Meditation that talks about the basics of meditation. In it Buddha of Hollywood shares that while focusing on your breath in the lotus position is popular, he prefers lying on bed listening to an OM Chant.

If you interested in reading the full article you can find it on Buddha of Hollywood, which is ageat blog.

The article ends with these words

"This kind of meditation is not much of a spiritual journey but it is an essential step in preparing your mind to become that vehicle of exploration.
You may choose to stay at this level and enjoy all the health benefits of meditation.
Or you may choose to go further in your practice and step into the ocean of spirituality."

Inglourious Basterds- Amusing Bunni's Spotlight

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 04:00:00 +0000

I'm not sure but I think I've seen only gone to the theater once this summer; I'd rather wait for them to come out on DVD. However Amazing Bunni has done it again by writing another top notch review for Inglorious Basterds. This post was Fantastic! The first time I read one of her reviews I realized that there was no need to write one of my own. She is a gifted writer with an obvious passion for films. Since I no longer have the reassurance of two thumbs to inspire my movie viewing I am grateful that I can count on her trustworthy opinions.

Even if you already heard Brad Pitt's apparently authentic accent and complained that the movie was too long, I'd still think that this a review worth reading. My advice is to visit Amusing Bunni's Musings regardless; with an infectious energy she shares her passion for the arts, or humorously rants about politics. No matter what topic she touches I've always enjoy her writing style. Amazing Bunni has a jazzy disposition and a sharp wit to match that can reveal those infamous Chicago winter winds. Please make no mistake, this girl has a lot big heart and once you make contact with her, through comment or a tweet, you will have gained an instant friend.

Related Links:

Terminator 4- Love, Lust and Life
Homebody Blogger Spotlight- Talent Tuesday

So what about the movie...The buzz before the release left me indifferent but with so many people going gaga I was convinced that I would, at the very least, enjoy it on DVD. Once again Amusing Bunni's review has me running to the theater...or at least driving to see Inglorious Basterds for myself.

Fight Fire With...Water?

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 03:17:00 +0000

"If your honest you can admit that revenge feels good. It's only natural to want to fight those hurt others but I've always hated the phrase fight fire with fire; don't most people use water..."

This is a small excerpt taken "Fight Fire With Water". Visit 3L's blog Mental Monday to read the whole article or watch the video bellow encouraging viewers to take hold of freedom by letting go of anger and resentment.

Hurt Feelings

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:00:00 +0000

What should you do when a loved one actions triggers hurt feelings? This is a question I've had to ask myself recently. Gambit, my husband, is an incredible man that sometime pushes my buttons. In relationships I usually focus on the positives and try to make adjustments when faced with problems, but sometimes that's not enough............Sometimes you have to share your hurt feelings or you will find yourself resenting the people you love.

When someone hurts you, you should tell them right away and forgive them when they take responsibility for their action and proclaim to make changes so that it will not happen again. Its harder to let things go when that when confronted, the person does not own up to any wrong doing but instead continues to press the same buttons. Without an apology and a promise of repentance I find myself reliving all the times when that person has hurt me; I will not be content until they apologize for each and ever offensive that they've committed against me...Yes I realize that this is the wrong way but I don't know another way to avoid being a doormat.

My marriage is one of the things I treasure the most and it motivates to be the best wife I can be. I realize that harboring old grudges will hurt me and the relationship with my husband. So to change my pattern I've decided to share what bothers me ASAP and talk until I know that I've forgiven completely. Unfortunately I'm new to this practice and I find myself still bringing up old issues in the process. Lucky Gambit has become my guinea pig, patiently enduring the trial and errors of my new communication and relationship style. Thank God for that man and for Flight of the Concords; they both keep me from getting too serious by making me laugh even when I've got...

Hurt Feelings

Apologize

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Into every relationship a little rain must fall...even in animations. Teen Titans connects to my inner child and the song, "Apologize" speaks to my inner emo. Please enjoy.

uploaded on YouTube by smiley975

Octomom Private Tour of New House

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 08:45:00 +0000

3L promotes acceptance for everyone so I never had a problem with Nadya Suleman aKa OctoMom. Sure I questioned her motives and wondered about her means of supporting her children, but I believed that ultimately it was none of business. Besides, I am a lover of Reality TV, use to the concept of large families. One of my faves would have to be Jon and Kate Plus Eight. That was until the big announcement earlier this year, announcing their divorce. I took the news pretty personal.

I love fresh starts and was open to the possibility of watching Nadya and kids on their own show but the video bellow changed my mind. Maybe she was just sharing her opinion, but I wonder if the slight against Kate was just a dis for dollars. Hypocrisy, even a soft spoken soul, is ugly and useless.

Octomom is getting ready to move into a new house. The home is located in La Habra, California near where Nadya lives right now. It comes with 4 bedrooms, 2 and a half baths, a large master bedroom with a walk-in closet and a large backyard.

Why do I care about octomom? I don't know..............I generally want the best for everyone and I am a naturally curious and a little nosy. I hope that Nadya Suleman and her children thrive and prosper and that the media hype dies down long enough for lives to become normal.

Better Food Pyramid Mediterranean Diet

noreply@blogger.com (3L) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 07:58:00 +0000

A new study says that the way to fight of Alzheimer is by eating a Mediterranean diet, rich in fruits and vegetables. Again it proves that the American diet fails us all: fatty, sweet, and processed foods. Besides its so much fun to try new recipes. Watch the video below to learn more.

Corey Feldman's Michael Jackson Tribute

noreply@blogger.com (Jane Doe) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 17:17:00 +0000

Lately Corey Feldman has not been in the presses because he was, to my surprise, making an appearance at the Michael Jackson Memorial, dressed in a famous Michael Jackson ensemble consisting of MJ’s famous military jacket, a black fedora, and dark sunglasses.

Many people may be ridiculing him for this elaborate get-up, but I feel that he was just doing it to pay homage to one of his close friends that made an impact on his life. Even though their friendship dwindled in the 80’s, it is obvious that it affected Corey greatly. This may have been expected from a Michael Jackson fanatic, but I do not believe this act was out of any type of craze, or obsession for MJ. He was just showing everyone that Michael Jackson meant a lot to him. When Corey decided to wear that outfit, I believe he was thinking: I am going to an event to celebrate a wonderful man, and I want to participate in the celebration in a deep, meaningful way.

Wearing one of his unique and memorable outfits is a beautiful way that Michael Jackson would’ve greatly appreciated because he was into fashion, and more importantly, into creating his own unique fashion. I saw it in no way mocking or gaudy. I thought it was heartfelt and genuine.

I also believe that he felt he needed to show his grief for Michael Jackson’s passing in a larger way because of how their relationship was. They became very close in the 80’s and eventually stopped talking, and hadn’t talked for years before his death. I have no personal reason to defend Corey Feldman. He's not one of my he hasn’t even been in a critically acclaimed movie in ten years, and so he success was before my time. To his credit he I really enjoyed Stand By Me.

I’m sure he was regretting not ever seeing how he was doing, or just hearing his voice recently before he was gone. It was completely unexpected for everyone, and affected his fans greatly, so we can only imagine how it would affect friends. Imagine if one of your good friends that you never got around to keeping in touch with suddenly passed away. You would fill crushed, remorseful, and hopeless. One of the few ways you could make up for it is to go to their funeral and participate in mourning them.

Michael Jackson was a unique person from his voice, to his lyrics, to his style. I believe that Michael would find it very flattering if he saw one of his friends dressed up in one of the many outfits people across the world found memorable when he wore it. I believe that too many people often look too deep into things like this. He wanted to wear something that represented a man that meant a lot to the world and to him. He wasn’t taking it over the top, in my opinion, because he wanted to go all out for him. Michael Jackson was a big symbol so why not show a big symbol of how much he cared about him, through one of the most expressive ways; fashion.