You think that you’re the cat’s whiskers, eh? With your smug look, looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. Well the game is up, Puss in Boots. Your gig is finally over. There will be no more kitty littering from you. The cat is now well and truly out of the bag.

Hey, stop pussyfooting around and arrest this cool kitten. Read this sourpuss her rights! She has the right to remain silent. Oh purrfect, cat got her tongue has it…? Well, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

Hello Kitty, you’re nicked! We’re taking out the trash. We’re gonna take you downtown and you’ll be catnapping in a cell so small you won’t have enough room to swing a cat. That’ll put a cat among the pigeons. Now your looking as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Image source: © 2011 seymour templar

Has Hello Kitty been arrested for soliciting out the front of Bank of America, trying to rob the bank or a felineous assault? Or has she finally been pinged for running guns.

The post Hello Kitty Pussy Patrol appeared first on LLP.

The WordPress stats helper monkeys put together a personalized report detailing how LLP did blogging in 2012! Here is what they said:

Crunchy numbers

About 55,000 tourists visit Liechtenstein every year. This blog was viewed about 660,000 times in 2012. If it were Liechtenstein, it would take about 12 years for that many people to see it. Your blog had more visits than a small country in Europe!

In 2012, there were 22 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 289 posts.

The busiest day of the year was May 11th with 4,328 views. The most popular post that day was Doritos Crunchy Nut Flavour.

Attractions in 2012

These are the posts that got the most views in 2012.

1. 10 Weird Japanese Foods (54,741 views, 13 comments) February 2010
2. Japanese Love Dolls – Taboo? (37,060 views, 12 comments) March 2009
3. Top 7 Hello Kitty Guns, Grenades and Combat Gear (28,983 views, 4 comments) December 2009
4. Top 10 Love Hotel Room Themes (23,230 views, 4 comments) March 2010
5. Used Panties Vending Machines (22,601 views, 9 comments) October 2011

Some of your most popular posts were written before 2012. Your writing has staying power! Consider writing about those topics again.

How did they find you?

The top referring sites in 2012 were:

• gakuranman.com
• kotaku.com
• thejapanrants.com
• japansugoi.com
• scenewithahart.com

Some visitors came searching, mostly for pikachu, hello kitty, rockabilly, penis and mr miyagi.

Where did they come from?

Visitors arrived from 204 countries in total. Most visitors came from The United States (184,487 views). The United Kingdom (38,488 views) & Japan (31,850 views) were not far behind.

Who were they?

Your most commented on post in 2012 was Door Knob Girl.

These were your 5 most active commenters:

1. scott jeppesen (29 comments)
2. C Ohara (12 comments)
3. Japan Australia (11 comment)
4. Chris (11 comment)
5. Jay Dee (7 comment)

Perhaps you could follow their blog or send them a thank you note?

To compare results to last year, check out LLP’s 2011 Year In Blogging.

The post LLP’s 2012 Year In Blogging appeared first on LLP.

Discover Tokyo with this list of Tokyo highlights containing 10 essential sightseeing attractions for tourists when traveling to this cosmopolitan city.

Meaning ‘Eastern Capital’, Tōkyō (東京) is Japan’s capital and its largest city and is one of the 47 prefectures of Japan. With a unique urbanscape where modern skyscrapers and ancient shrines blend together in its monstrous metropolis, it has come a long way from its origins as a collection of shallows and tidal pools at the mouth of the Sumida River. Tōkyō has over 13 million people living in the city’s 23 wards and a total of 40 million in Greater Tōkyō making it the core of the most populated urban area in the world and one of the commanding centers of the world’s economy. The easternmost of the great Asian cities, and the world’s most expensive city for expatriates (according to the latest ranking by Mercer), Tōkyō’s energy and frenetic pace of life brings high-tech visions of the future side by side with glimpses of old Japan.

1. Sensō-ji Temple

Also known as Asakusa Kannon Temple, Sensoji Temple is an ancient Buddhist temple located in Asakusa. Tokyo’s oldest temple, and one of its most significant, it enshrines a golden image of Kannon (the Buddhist God of Mercy), which according to legend was miraculously fished out of the nearby Sumida River by two fisherman in AD 628. The main avenue to the cities holiest sanctuary is crammed with stalls and booths selling a wide range of traditional goods and souvenirs.

Sensō-ji Temple, Asakusa

2. Takeshita-dōri & Omotesandō

Takeshita-dōri, running from Harajuku Station to Meiji-dōri, is a narrow pedestrian-only shopping street famous for its alternative street fashions. A haven of youth culture and fashion it is crammed with many trendy shops, teen fashion boutiques, used clothes stores, crepe stands and fast food outlets.

Takeshita-dori, Harajuku

In stark contrast nearby Omotesandō is an upscale tree-lined shopping boulevard that showcases fashion flagship stores. With its alfresco street cafes and international brand outlet boutiques Omotesandō is sometimes referred to as “Tokyo’s Champs-Élysées”.

The tree-lined street of Omotesando

3. Imperial Palace

Tokyo Imperial Palace is the main residence of the Emperor of Japan. It is a large park area situated in the centre of Tokyo. The palace grounds are encircled by moats, stone walls, ancient bridges and gardens. The current compound is built on the site of the old Edo castle where some of the original fortifications remain.

Tokyo Imperial Palace

4. Tokyo Skytree

The Tokyo Skytree is a television broadcasting tower and Tokyo landmark. With a height of 634 meters, it is the centerpiece of the Tokyo Skytree Town in the Sumida City Ward. It is the tallest building in Japan, the tallest tower in the world and the second tallest structure in the world at the time of its completion.

Tokyo SkyTree

The Tokyo Sky Tree took over the broadcasting duties for all major Tokyo broadcasting stations from Tokyo Tower. This is because Tokyo Tower with a height of 333 metres, no longer gives complete broadcasting coverage because it is surrounded by many high-rise buildings.

Tokyo Tower & Tokyo SkyTree

5. Meiji Shrine

Meiji Shrine is one of the major spiritual sites in Tokyo. Dedicated to the memory of Emperor Meiji and his consort Empress Shoken, under whose late 19th-century rule Japan ended its long isolation from the outside world. The shrine is located beside Harajuku Station on the JR Yamanote line.

Meiji Jingū, Tokyo’s most famous Shinto shrine

Together with the adjacent Yoyogi Park, the shrine’s vast grounds make up a large forested area within the densely built-up city. Yoyogi Park is one of Tokyo’s largest city parks. It features wide lawns, ponds and forested areas which makes it a great place for jogging, picnicking and other outdoor activities. If you are lucky you may catch a glimpse of a bunch of Japanese rockabilly’s jiving to 50s rock ’n’ roll.

Meiji Shrine surrounded by Yoyogi Park

6. Shibuya Crossing (aka Hachikō Crossing)

The Shibuya Crossing, hailed as the busiest pedestrian crossing in the world, is the famous intersection located in front of the Shibuya Station Hachikō exit. When the lights turn red at this busy crossing vehicles stop in all directions allowing pedestrians to billow across the teeming junction.

The Shibuya Crossing

The video below shows the organised chaos of the pedestrian scramble:

You will also find the Hachikō Statue that stands facing the Hachikō exit outside of Shibuya Station. The statue is a famous meeting place at the entranceway to Shibuya Crossing.

Hachikō Statue

7. Odaiba

Built on reclaimed land in Tokyo Bay, Odaiba is a large artificial island accessed from central Tokyo via the Rainbow Bridge. A popular entertainment district featuring high-tech buildings, exhibition pavilions, game centres, museums, fashion malls and a giant Ferris wheel.

Odaiba and Rainbow Bridge at dusk

8. Tsukiji Fish Market

Tsukiji Market (築地市場 Tsukiji shijō) is the world’s largest and busiest fish market. It is where all that seafood comes after it has been fished out of the sea before it turns up on sashimi platters. Located on reclaimed lands in Chūō-ku beyond Ginza in central Tokyo. It is the lifeblood of Tokyo’s sushi restaurants and bars and a favourite destination for tourists. From before dawn each morning the wholesale markets are a blaze with activity as the best of the catch from local and international waters are auctioned to the highest bidder. Before you go, however, check this website to see if public access is permitted that day. If so, it will be on a first-come, first-serve basis, and limited to 120 people.

Tuna at Tsukiji Fish Market

9. Roppongi

Roppongi is a district in Tokyo that is well known as the city’s most popular nightlife district among foreigners, offering a large number of foreigner friendly bars, restaurants, night clubs, hostess clubs, strip clubs and cabarets. Two of Tokyo’s largest recent redevelopment projects, Roppongi Hills and Tokyo Midtown changed the district’s face over the past decade and expanded Roppongi’s appeal to a wider range of visitors and residents with their elegant retail, leisure and residential space, offices and luxury hotels.

Roppongi by night

10. Tōkyō Disney Resort

Tokyo Disney Resort is a theme park and vacation resort located just east of Tokyo. It is the first Disney theme park to be opened outside the United States. The complex has developed into resort consisting of two theme parks (Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo DisneySea), three Disney-branded hotels (Disney Ambassador Hotel, Tokyo DisneySea Hotel MiraCosta and Tokyo Disneyland Hotel), six non-Disney hotels and a shopping complex. All facilities are linked by Disney Resort Line monorail.

Tōkyō Disney Resort

The post Top 10 Tokyo – Highlights appeared first on LLP.

Shirako is a slippery, soft white food that is a popular winter delicacy in Japan. It is easily recognizable due to its intestinal-like nature. In English we refer to it as milt, the sperm-filled reproductive gland of a male fish. The male genitalia of fish when it contains the sperm, including the seminal fluid. We’re talking sperm sac. We’re talking semen. The stuff that is used to fertilize fish roe, the egg-laden ovary of a fish.

It is the seminal fluid of fish, mollusks, and other water-dwelling animals who reproduce by spraying this fluid, which contains the sperm, onto roe (fish eggs). A bizarre morsel of Japanese culinary strangeness included on the infamous 10 Weird Japanese Foods list.

A Japanese Delicacy

In Japanese cuisine shirako is considered a delicacy. Shirako (白子) translates into English as ‘white children’. It is harvested from fish such as cod (tara), anglerfish (anko), monkfish, and sometimes pufferfish (fugu). Most types of fish seminal fluid are in season during winter. The sperm sac is said to melt in the mouth like butter. It can be eaten both raw and cooked but this depends on individual tastes. It is a popular dish at most izakaya (Japanese pubs) and sushi bars. You can even pick it up in your local supermarket.

Shirako is most accurately likened to pork brains, yet with a lighter, finer texture. Steamed, shirako is as soft as an egg custard; pan- or deep-fried, the surface crisps up while the interior remains soft and creamy. The taste of shirako is subtle; there’s a slight sweetness and just the faintest hint of its oceanic roots.

A Personal Encounter With Fish Ejaculate

An accidental dining experience in Japan involving shirako or fish sperm is not an uncommon story. It could happen to anyone. So I keep telling myself.

Celebrating in Tokyo one evening with a few Japanese colleagues I was excited to get out and try some Japanese delicacies under the guidance of the locals. A reservation was made at an izakaya, a traditional Japanese drinking establishment which also serves food to accompany the drinks.

We arrived and there were no seats. Only a tatami mat on the floor. I knew that I was up for a posture-breaking flexibility challenge. My colleagues quickly assumed a comfortable seated position as if they were yoga masters as I desperately struggled to get comfortable with my limbs inappropriately hanging all over the place.

As we pondered over the menu I decided that I did not want to be an imposition, so I relinquished responsibility of the menu selection to my more experienced Japanese hosts. These guys accepted the task with sinister smirks upon their faces. The first dish to arrive was bowl of tentacles. I had an internal battle saying “Reject the tentacles and offend my hosts or eat the tentacles and offend them by vomiting on the table?”. “Reject the Tentacles” won. However, there was much disappointment on the faces of my friends so I committed to eat the next dish to arrive.

The next dish arrived. It was a creamy, white, gooey substance. The texture was similar to that of a brain, it had little red blood vessels. I asked what it was but the Japanese guys would not say. They kept reminding me that I was committed to eat the next dish to arrive… and there it was. I was obligated. There was no turning back. I was on the hook.

Reluctantly I picked up my chopsticks and stared deeply at the creamy, white, gooey brain substance that laid before me. There was a chant coming from the rest of the group – Ikki, ikki, ikki, ikki… which conveniently translates as Go, go, go, go… I dug my chopsticks in, ripped the goo out and threw it to the back of my mouth. Reporting a strange sensation of what appeared to be of a brain texture was in fact a membrane of some kind. It felt like the membrane had exploded in my mouth and this oozing liquidy substance poured out.

My work mates were in hysterics rolling around on the tatami mat. Finally, one of them managed to regain composure to tell me what it was.

“Well, what you have just eaten is a Japanese delicacy called shirako. It is the sack inside of a fish that contains the fishes sperm. So, you have just eaten the equivalent to fish testicles.”

I stared deeply into space at the shock of the news just broken to me whilst the Japanese guys feasted happily on the remaining shirako.

A surprising seminal dining experience involving shirako is not an uncommon story, just check here and here.

Want more?

If you think that this is weird then check out 10 Weird Japanese Foods for more bizarre morsels of Japanese culinary strangeness such as raw horse meat, nattō, grasshoppers, fugu and more. If you are not that adventurous, then check out 10 Cool Japanese Foods for a delicious selection of ten tasty morsels of Japanese culinary goodness such as yakitori, sukiyaki, ramen, yakiniku, kushikatsu and more.

The post Shirako appeared first on LLP.

Ladyboys (aka Kathoeys)

A ladyboy (also known as “kathoey” – a Thai term) refers to a transgender or an effeminate gay male usually from Southeast Asia – namely Thailand and The Philippines. The term can refer to males who exhibit varying degrees of femininity. Many ladyboys dress as women and undergo “feminising” medical procedures such as breast implants, hormones, silicone injections, or Adam’s apple reductions. Others may wear makeup and use feminine pronouns, but dress as men, and are closer to the Western category of effeminate gay man than transgender.

Austin “Danger” Powers

Getting caught at customs with one of these mouse pads in your bag would kind of be similar to the scene below from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. In this scene Austin “Danger” Powers denies owning a Swedish-made penis enlarger. Yeah, baby, yeah! One book, “Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby”, by Austin Powers.

The Hangover Part II

The mouse pad also reminds me of the scene below from the movie The Hangover Part II. In this scene the Wolfpack first met Yasmin Lee‘s character Kimmy the Ladyboy in the dressing room of a go go bar in Bangkok. Stu the groom (played by Ed Helms) has no recollection of a wild raunchy night, thanks to a potent drug induced haze. He freaks out when Kimmy reveals that they had indulged in what she was indicating to be a romantic sexual encounter. “It was beautiful we climaxed at the same time”.

There’s a reason they call it Bangkok…

The post The Ladyboy Thinkopad appeared first on LLP.

Japanese matsuri are traditional festive occasions. Every year a bizarre festival worshiping the penis takes place in Japan. Shinto fertility festivals held annually are penis-venerating celebrations that involve phallic processions and penis parades. Japan hosts a number of unusual and notorious festivals including the Kanamara Matsuri and the Hōnen Matsuri.

The image below is from a penis festival. There is a dude hidden in the photo. Let’s call him Waldo-kun. He is camouflaged in the crowd of G-string wearing, half-naked girls participating in the penis parade phallic procession. This photo is a gay test. A test to explore your sexual orientation. How long does it take you to spot Waldo-kun?

Where’s Waldo?

Where’s Waldo? is a series of children’s books created by British illustrator Martin Handford. It is also published as Where’s Wally?. The books consist of a series of detailed double-page spread illustrations. The illustrations depict dozens or more people doing a variety of amusing things at a given location. Readers are challenged to find a character named Waldo hidden in the group. Waldo’s distinctive red-and-white striped shirt, bobble hat, and glasses make him slightly easier to recognise. Many illustrations contain “red herrings” involving deceptive use of red-and-white striped objects.

More On Phallus Festivals

The embedded video below features Lonely Planet author and fearless festival hunter Ray Bartlett. He travels deep into the heart of suburban Japan for a peek at some of the world’s largest… penises, uncovering one of the country’s oldest and most venerable fertility festivals. Hounen Matsuri, in Komaki, Japan, holds this yearly celebration to ensure bountiful harvests and plenty of offspring in the coming years. Get ready to giggle, gawk, or admire as the penis procession unfolds. Or ask the gods to grant your wish by writing on a phallic prayer board.

The post Where’s Waldo? – Japanese Matsuri Edition appeared first on LLP.

No, this is not the front cover of an issue of a big & bouncy titty magazine in Japan. It is bikini idol Aki Hoshino is throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at a Japanese baseball match. The game was the Yokohama BayStars-Hanshin Tigers game on May 7th, 2006 at Yokohama Stadium. Thank you angrygaijin for your piece on the birth of Japanese baseball that paid tribute to this moment in sporting history.

Aki Hoshino 「ほしのあき」

Aki Hoshino 「ほしのあき」 is one of the most recognisable glamour models in Japan. With an angelic baby face, and known as The Angel of Japan, she was born in Tokyo on born March 14, 1977. Aki Hoshino has appeared in various Japanese TV shows, TV dramas and men’s magazines such as Sabra. She married horse racing jockey Kōsei Miura 「三浦 皇成」 on September 25, 2011. Following is a clip of that mammorable ceremonial first pitch:

Ceremonial First Pitch

The ceremonial first ball is a longstanding ritual of American baseball in which a guest of honor throws a ball to mark the end of pregame festivities and the start of the game. The guest usually throws the ball from the pitcher’s mound towards the home plate. The recipient of the pitch is usually a player from the home team.

Collectors Card

You can even get a collectors card to savour the moment:

Mariah Carey’s Ceremonial First Pitch Fail

Diva Mariah Carey threw out the ceremonial first pitch at a Yomiuri Giants game before the team took on the Rakuten Golden Eagles at the Tokyo Dome in 2008. The singer was in Japan for the first leg of her concert tour. She donned super-high heels and a pink satin jacket for her toss to the Giants’ Marc Kroon. Unfortunately, Mimi couldn’t manage to get the ball much more than a few feet past the pitcher’s mound. It’s a good thing they were in Japan, where the fans are too polite to boo.

The post Mammorable Ceremonial First Pitch – Japanese Baseball appeared first on LLP.

Dakimakura are a full body pillow with an anime character illustrated on the pillow cover. They are a stuffed pillowcase with a 2-D character printed on synthetic fabric. The anime character depicted is often in an erotic pose. Usually in some lewd position with revealing clothes or some sexual facial expression. Otakus have been known to form unnatural relationships with their “2D Lovers”. 2D lovers are men passionate about 2D characters. Renowned for sometimes giving a little bit too much affection to their pillow waifu.

Word Origin

The word “Dakimakura” is a Japanese portmanteau. It is the contraction of “dakishime” (to embrace or cling) and “makura” (pillow). The word blend is often translated into English as “hug pillow”. Hug pillows are not just an otaku thing. The word itself doesn’t immediately have a geek connotation. These pillows are generally no different from Western orthopedic body pillows. They can be legitimately used by those hoping to have a better night’s sleep.

Otaku Love Pillow Fetish

Fake girlfriend pillows have recently become closely associated with Japanese nerds. They believe that a lumpy pillow with a drawing of a prepubescent anime character on it is their girlfriend. Indulging in real relationships with imaginary characters is a thriving subset of otaku culture. The 2D love craziness is part of the obsessive fandom that surrounds anime, manga and video games in Japan. It is claimed that this is a follow up of the hikikomori phenomenon.

Nerd folklore insinuates that these pillows provide more than just a good night’s sleep. An inappropriate embrace during bedtime by those suffering from loneliness perhaps.

Korean Otaku Marries Anime Body Pillow

A Korean anime fan proudly tied the knot with a pillowcase. The cotton pillow features the image of his favorite girl heroine – Fate Testarossa. Fate Testarossa is one of the popular heroines of magical girl show Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha.

The post Dakimakura Anime Love Pillows appeared first on LLP.

Ever been in love with an anime character? No? What do you mean, “no?” Well, just pretend. In fact, pretend that this character is the centre of your whole existence. Pretend you’re obsessed with this character to the point of forsaking any and all interest in actual women. Pretend you honestly believe this to be a legitimate lifestyle choice, as opposed to, say, a pitiful manifestation of your years of sanity-rending loneliness. This character is your “waifu“.

The post A Message To All Faithful Husbando’s appeared first on LLP.

Engrish for “My Wife”, it is a colloquial catchphrase adopted by otaku circles and anime fans when discussing their unhealthy attraction for fictional, two-dimensional female characters out of the Japanese anime, manga and video-game subculture.

Stay tuned, more to come.

Look at him laugh. Look at the happy man and his Waifu laugh at their secret joke together. Who knows what it might be. It may be something she said in front of his friends? Boy oh boy would I laugh too if that was my Waifu in the swimming pool with me. . . rather than pretending my pillow is real by drawing a smiley face on with a marker.

Dedicated to C Ohara and scott j who were wondering where the hell I was.

The post Oh Waifu, You So Funny! appeared first on LLP.