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There are rules for Facebook that everyone should follow yet very, very few people actually do. I’ve broken almost every rule on this list because, let’s face it, it’s easier to give advice than it is to take your own advice. Some of these rules are nothing more than common courtesy. Others will save you from embarrassing yourself. Others will keep you from winding up in a situation like dear ole Rudolph in the cartoon here. Witty little cartoon or cautionary tale. You decide. Let’s get to the list.

1. Never say anything on Facebook you don’t want people to know. You’re not whispering something to a friend. You’re writing it down on the internet. Word travels fast.
2. Remember who your friends are. Sure this one isn’t a Facebook exclusive rule but it has a bit of a different meaning on FB. If you say something nasty about someone you don’t particularly like and one of your friends happens to also be friends with the object of your scorn, you could find yourself in hot water fairly quickly.
3. Don’t say things you wouldn’t want Grandma to hear you say. Again with the “it’s the internet” thing. Going off on a profanity laden diatribe against whatever happens to have gotten your goat may make you feel better at the time, but might come back to haunt you. This one is a lesson learned from experience, friends.
4. If your boss is your friend on Facebook or is friends with a friend on Facebook you have the best job ever and your boss is the coolest. It’s that simple. Don’t feel like sucking up? That’s cool. I respect that. Do yourself a favor though – keep your grievances to yourself. If you trash your job on Facebook, you might as well trash your job directly to your boss’ face. I can’t imagine that would go well unless you happen to have an awesome boss in which case what are you complaining about?
5. Think before you like. Please. If someone’s status is talking about someone dying, how upset they are or how bad things are going for them, please don’t use that “like” button – unless of course you’re happy about their sorrow. That’s not what it’s there for. It’s… well, I’m not really sure why it’s there but I know how it’s not supposed to be used. One more note on this one – stop liking your own statuses! While it  may feel like putting an exclamation point at the end of your emotional sentence, it isn’t. It’s annoying. They have this crazy thing called, you guessed it, an exclamation point that will get the job done and won’t make you look like a complete d-bag.

Facebook is supposed to be a fun way to stay in touch and keep people updated on what’s going on in your life. It’s a great way to connect with people and make new friends. When I learned I had a brother, the first thing I did was look him up on Facebook. Even so, Facebook can be a dangerous thing, rife with opportunities to embarrass yourself. Plus, you know, the games are fun. Thanks for reading. If you liked this post, do the right thing and share it on Facebook. See what I did there?

Speaking of games, check out one of my new favorites. It reminds me a little bit of Facebook’s Mafia Wars but more advances. Best part? It’s free and you don’t have to clog up your friends’ news feeds on FB with all sorts of requests. Register here: Become a gangster. Join one of the five families and play the GodFather today at Kabam!

Technology is great, isn’t it? Two stories come to mind when I look at this charming little cartoon. Allow me to share those stories with you.

Not long ago, two friends were planning to meet up in the city for an over night visit. They’d agreed on a time to meet but seeing as neither of them has the ability to arrive at a destination on time ever – not an exaggeration – when the first friend arrived about an hour late, the other friend was not there. It’s entirely possible the second friend was running later than our first guy but that has nothing to do with the story, so let’s move on. Wanting to find out where Second Friend was, First Friend pulled out his trusty cell phone to arrange a new meet time they would both almost certainly arrive late to. First Friend looked at his phone, stricken with horror. Dead Battery. He immediately launched into a panic attack of epic proportions. Crying! Screaming! Hyperventilating… okay, I’m exaggerating, but he did freak out a little bit. He was an hour and a half from home. He was supposed to stay at Second Friend’s house and he now found himself without a means of contact. He could just drive on over to Second Friend’s house, but that’s not exactly the kind of place you want to show up to unannounced. Trust me. I’ll leave the details to your imagination but let’s just say, what’s seen cannot be unseen. If you were watching this instead of reading it, you’d see me shuddering right now.

We’ve all been where First Friend was. Technology fails everyone eventually. From the dreaded ‘no bars’ to the dead battery, cell phones are mighty convenient but only when they’re working the way they’re supposed to work. Had First Friend not been so completely dependent on this little piece of technology, perhaps he would’ve noticed the payphone maybe ten feet away from him a little sooner. He noticed it eventually, made his phone call the old fashioned way and met up with Second Friend who was of course running late and good times were had by all.

Now, it’s pretty unlikely that two cell phone will ever walk into a museum and think their ancestors had tails, unless of course you buy into the theory that one day technology will advance to a stage where we can no longer control it at which point it will take over the world. I guess in that scenario, I guess this isn’t beyond the realm of possibility. Again, not the point I’m trying to make here. What’s far more likely however, is that at a certain point, a whole generation of people will grow up having never seen a phone with a cord attached.  My second story.

I looked at this cartoon and got a good laugh. My husband was sitting beside me doing husband things on his computer and I decided to share the cartoon with him. He couldn’t really see it from where he was sitting and actually getting up to get a better look was out of the question. This is how I explained it:

There are two cell phones in a museum – a father and son. They’re looking at a painting of a cell phone with a cord. The father cell phone says…

My husband stopped me.

Really?

I was offended. He didn’t let me get to the punch line!

The father cell phone says…

He stopped me again.

You don’t even realize that you just said cell phone with a cord. Cell phone. With a cord.

And then we laughed. We laughed a lot. Here’s the thing about that little verbal blunder. I’m not even thirty years old and I already refer to normal phones as cell phones with a cord.

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Who hasn’t heard of Twitter? Unless you’re living in a cave on Mars, you’re likely familiar with what is quickly surpassing both MySpace and Facebook as the most popular social network on the internet. So what makes Twitter so popular? Is it the celebrities that use it to update their fans on every second of their fabulous existences? Why do so many people become wrapped up in Tweets to the point where it’s more important than their real life interactions?

Is Twitter really better than real life? You bet! If you are a Twitter junkie like me, this is something you already know and have come to terms with. If you aren’t that far gone yet, it is only because you haven’t accepted the new “reality”, but you will soon…believe me!

So, here now are the top ten reasons Twitter is better than real life. Read, learn, and understand them – then sign up for an account or dust off the account you barely use and follow me! (@_chenault_).

10. It is impossible to ramble in 140 characters or less.

We all know people that just can’t stop talking. They say the same thing over and over and expect us to listen. I, myself, am guilty of doing it often. Twitter cuts out the blah, blah, blah and forces you to get to the point.

09. TV and movie characters have Twitter accounts!

The best fictional character account I’ve seen on Twitter thus far is without question Doctor Fitch Cooper (@DoctorCoop) from the Showtime series Nurse Jackie. Fans of the show are treated to teasers of plot lines by following Coop’s account with is frequently mentioned on, and has been the subject of an episode of, the actual show.

08. Twitter is simple and there are help guides if you can’t figure something out. Life? Not so much.

The most complicated problem you will run into with Twitter is understanding what everything means. RT means Retweet. That means someone else originally Tweeted the Tweet first. TT means Trending Topic. That means something is being talked about by a whole lot of Twitter users. If someone famous is really old and hasn’t been talked about in ages and they are suddenly a Trending Topic, they are probably dead. FF stands for Follow Friday. Users recommend people that their followers might like to follow. It is a Friday tradition. @ plus your user name means someone has mentioned you or sent you a message. # before a word or phrase means it is tagged. Hmmm, come to think of it, Twitter is a little complicated. It still has nothing on life, though.

07. Breaking news Tweets are better than the actual breaking news agencies.

More than once, a major news event has hit Twitter before it has hit the mainstream media. Twitter is designed for use on mobile phone which means anyone can update their followers from just about anywhere in the world at any time, including from the scene of earthquakes, terrorist attacks, plane crashes and any other number of events. How awesome is that!!

06. On Twitter you may be responded to by someone famous. This is unlikely to happen in real life.

I have been retweeted by John Mayer, Joe Rogan (@joerogan), Demi Moore, Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) and Kirstie Alley. It’s fun and exciting to talk to a celebrity even if it’s only one or two words. In real life, my coolness factor is not nearly enough to talk to any of the above so I take my glory in the Twittersphere as a sign that I’m at least cool somewhere.

05. You will never be as cool and popular in real life as you are on Twitter.

The number of followers you have directly relates to how cool you are. Okay, maybe not, but I choose to believe that so every time I see a new follower added to the list, I get a little excited. Sure, many of them are spam bots and are only trying to sell me useless crap, but that’s just fine with me. There are some great people on my followers list! (@ashleypei, @shard_dax, @kimmah003, @deathbox, @jdbeaner to name the top five coolest.)

04. Twitter saves lives – for real!

Recently, Demi Moore (@mrskutcher) and Nia Vardalos (@niavardalos) alerted police when a young man threatened to kill himself via a Tweet to Moore. The police arrived at the home in time and the man got the help he needed.

03. If someone Tweets too much and is generally an annoying pain in the rear, you can just unfollow them.

Yeah, try getting rid of someone who gets under your skin that easily in real life. It can’t be done, folks. It just can’t be done…

02. Following anyone in real life is called being a stalker and is frowned upon, but following someone on Twitter is a compliment and is encouraged.

Stalking is nothing to joke about, but am I the only one who thinks Twitter needs to come up with a less creepy name for ‘following’. ‘Paying attention to’ is too wordy. Being ‘friends with’ would be too encouraging to real creepy stalkers. I don’t have any suggestions. But I’m sure there must be something better than following.

01. Real life has Miley Cyrus. Twitter does not.

After a much talked about public exit, the Twittersphere is now a Miley free zone. Alas, nothing has yet been done about Justin Bieber but be patient. He is a teenager after all. I’m sure we’ll see a tear filled exit before long.

…and those are the Top 10 Reasons Twitter Is Better Than Real Life

I’m declaring today “International Friendship Day”, simply because I’m cool like that. I remember all the friends around the world I used to write to years ago, before the internet (yes, I’m THAT old), and how much fun I had learning about other cultures, languages and countries right from the people who lived there. Oh, and the stamps were always kinda nifty too!

These days, most correspondence is sent via electronic mail and our social networking “friends” just aren’t the same as they used to be. Facebook has about a million rules you have to follow and there really isn’t any way to meet truly new, unique and interesting people there because of their dumb invite system. You have to know somebody who suggests someone that perhaps you might know through Joe, the guy who works across town at the grocery store, who has a sister, Patty, that vaguely remembers you from her poetry class and adds you because Mary thought you sounded familiar…uh…yeah.

What if you just want to meet random people to make friends, like in the old days where you could respond to an ad for letter exchanges in the newspaper? Well, now there is JuJu, a truly “social” networking site! This is an “all-in-one” solution where you can meet new friends online AND through traditional mail, without being locked out of so many of the features, like on FB, just because you don’t directly know someone.

For example, you can browse photos, blogs, groups, forums, chat and even read and post classified ads there! If you are moving somewhere, you can post to find a roommate, or if you need a travel companion, language partner or simply want a good, old fashioned free penpal, then it’s all available to you on just one website! How easy is that???

Join JuJu and make a new friend today, ‘cuz every day is international friendship day!!!

Ok, I admit it…I suck at collecting friends on Facebook! I tried. I really did, but there’s only so much poking and invitations to join some group you’ve never heard that a person can take, ya know? It’s overwhelming!

I started by adding people I actually knew in the real world, but then the virtual friends started sending invites…and then THEIR friends, and so on, until it became quite unmanageable. I’m amazed at Facebook users that have massive lists of like 100,000 people when I can barely keep track of the 20 something friends I DO have.

I mean, I hardly even know what DAY it is half the time…that’s how disorganized I am, yet there are savvy internet users who play “friend hockey” on FB to see who can collect the most members to their groups, fan pages and profiles. Last week I noticed a group with over a MILLION members…whoa!!!

Anyway, I think that some grey bloke summed up perfectly the whole Facebook social networking game, so I’ll let him explain it to you in his Youtube video.

Feel free to comment about your own FB friendship experiences…

For my first official post of 2010 I want to “name and shame” a scumbag from getafreelancer.com who ripped off a very close friend of mine. I have heard a lot recently about GAF going downhill and becoming a haven for scammers and con artists outsourcing work that was originally outsourced to them, but this one hit too close to home and I intend to do something about it.

The story began a month ago when a friend, who lives nearby, lost her job and needed money for food and bills, so I suggested writing articles for people online. She’s really good at writing, so it suited her well. She signed up on the getafreelancer site and was working literally an hour later. Everything seemed great!

She submitted the articles to the buyers and they were all pleased with her work and told her so, but then some of them didn’t pay her. No reason or explanation was given, but they just didn’t follow through on their end of the deal. I felt bad for her because she put so much time into writing for hours, only to be letdown, which would leave a sour taste in anyone’s mouth about working online again. We all know that the internet is a landmine of scams, but even I was surprised that she got burned so soon.

I asked around on forums and found out that this has been happening more often on GAF with members ripping off outsourcers and then reusing the stolen articles for their own use, or to sell to others. The worst offender in this case is a person named Mohammed Sutarwala with the username mohds2. He appears as a large provider to companies and, when they give him work to do, he then hires someone else to do it for him and doesn’t pay them, but he gets paid by the company anyway.

Now, I understand if the work is not satisfactory, but in this case Mohammed Sutarwala (mohds2) said everthing was great (we have the correspondence to prove it) AND proceeded to use those stolen articles that he did NOT pay for the right to use on other sites. We have contacted every site so far and the articles have been removed, but the point is that this is just bad business and should be stopped.

To this SCAMMER : If you really didn’t like the articles by “wandafraser” (and lied to her in the chat), then fine, but since you never paid for them, then they are NOT your property, so stop using them! Be an adult and pay for the work you had done for you! ALL incidences of your infringement WILL be reported to every site you use for this! You have been warned…

- End of Getafreelancer Stolen Articles rant. Be careful and please share this story with others or comment here if you’ve ever been cheated yourself online. I want all scammers to suffer!!

UPDATE: The same sleazeball is now also an Articleblast.com scammer (link to his “freedomto quitsmoking” profile there). ALL the writings listed as being from that author were actually written by “wanda”, and NOT by the person listed!! We have contacted that website about the infringing content and a “cease and desist” letter is being prepared…

I thought about calling this post “social media cartoons part 2″, but then I realized that was lame and stupid, as all I’m posting is a colorful graphic example of an internet social circle. Where do YOU fit in???

Sure, you have your Myspace friends and you’ve joined a few pointless Facebook groups, and now you go on Twitter and tweet about your bowel movements on a daily basis, but where are the lines drawn? Is it narcissism when you feel the need to tell the world about your life? Are people exhibiting stalker-like behavior if they follow your ramblings? Is anyone even READING this???

In the pre-internet days, you had to be WORTHY of other people’s time, or at least have a soapbox to shout from. Now we have virtual shoutboxes where anyone can clog up our minds with their drivel. They don’t even need a cause, or really any point at all. It’s a shame.

There was a time when great authors wrote great books, but now the philosophy and literature section of my local bookstore has been reduced to a few throwaway paperbacks written by self help gurus because, one would suppose, we need help. Is modern psychiatry trying to justify it’s existence by telling us that we are not ok and, therefore, must be helped? Do we really NEED to be normal???

I think I’m heading for a 21st century meltdown…

Ok, boys and girls, it’s time to have some fun! I’ve collected a few social media cartoons just for laughs to lighten up all the doom and gloom we’ve been reading on the news lately.

As with any social commentary, there is a ring of truth in each social media cartoon, especially the pulitzer prize one. I can imagine that one happening some day, don’t you agree? And we already have news soundbites, so why not investigative tweeting??? Seems like a logical next step, right? Oh dear!! You better be prepared!

Here are a few of my favorite…

That’s all folks!!

As with any social commentary, there is a ring of truth in the social media cartoon humour, in this case especially the pulitzer prize one. I can imagine that one happening some day, don’t you agree? And we already have news soundbites, so why not investigative tweeting??? Seems like a logical next step, right? Oh dear!! You better be prepared!

Here are a few of my favorite ones…

That’s all folks!!

Ok, I’m going to try this again. I just created a shiny, brand new Twitter account today and it’s so empty I can feel the breeze blowing through it. Help me!

Obviously, I’m appealing here for some followers, so I don’t look like some uber twit just tweeting to myself all day long. I wonder if someday we’ll see late night ads about sad lonely twitterers who need to be saved from their obssession?

Anyway, until such time that I can make my own infomercial, please follow me on twitter. I beg you!!!