Who hasn’t heard of Twitter? Unless you’re living in a cave on Mars, you’re likely familiar with what is quickly surpassing both MySpace and Facebook as the most popular social network on the internet. So what makes Twitter so popular? Is it the celebrities that use it to update their fans on every second of their fabulous existences? Why do so many people become wrapped up in Tweets to the point where it’s more important than their real life interactions?

Is Twitter really better than real life? You bet! If you are a Twitter junkie like me, this is something you already know and have come to terms with. If you aren’t that far gone yet, it is only because you haven’t accepted the new “reality”, but you will soon…believe me!

So, here now are the top ten reasons Twitter is better than real life. Read, learn, and understand them – then sign up for an account or dust off the account you barely use and follow me! (@_chenault_).

10. It is impossible to ramble in 140 characters or less.

We all know people that just can’t stop talking. They say the same thing over and over and expect us to listen. I, myself, am guilty of doing it often. Twitter cuts out the blah, blah, blah and forces you to get to the point.

09. TV and movie characters have Twitter accounts!

The best fictional character account I’ve seen on Twitter thus far is without question Doctor Fitch Cooper (@DoctorCoop) from the Showtime series Nurse Jackie. Fans of the show are treated to teasers of plot lines by following Coop’s account with is frequently mentioned on, and has been the subject of an episode of, the actual show.

08. Twitter is simple and there are help guides if you can’t figure something out. Life? Not so much.

The most complicated problem you will run into with Twitter is understanding what everything means. RT means Retweet. That means someone else originally Tweeted the Tweet first. TT means Trending Topic. That means something is being talked about by a whole lot of Twitter users. If someone famous is really old and hasn’t been talked about in ages and they are suddenly a Trending Topic, they are probably dead. FF stands for Follow Friday. Users recommend people that their followers might like to follow. It is a Friday tradition. @ plus your user name means someone has mentioned you or sent you a message. # before a word or phrase means it is tagged. Hmmm, come to think of it, Twitter is a little complicated. It still has nothing on life, though.

07. Breaking news Tweets are better than the actual breaking news agencies.

More than once, a major news event has hit Twitter before it has hit the mainstream media. Twitter is designed for use on mobile phone which means anyone can update their followers from just about anywhere in the world at any time, including from the scene of earthquakes, terrorist attacks, plane crashes and any other number of events. How awesome is that!!

06. On Twitter you may be responded to by someone famous. This is unlikely to happen in real life.

I have been retweeted by John Mayer, Joe Rogan (@joerogan), Demi Moore, Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) and Kirstie Alley. It’s fun and exciting to talk to a celebrity even if it’s only one or two words. In real life, my coolness factor is not nearly enough to talk to any of the above so I take my glory in the Twittersphere as a sign that I’m at least cool somewhere.

05. You will never be as cool and popular in real life as you are on Twitter.

The number of followers you have directly relates to how cool you are. Okay, maybe not, but I choose to believe that so every time I see a new follower added to the list, I get a little excited. Sure, many of them are spam bots and are only trying to sell me useless crap, but that’s just fine with me. There are some great people on my followers list! (@ashleypei, @shard_dax, @kimmah003, @deathbox, @jdbeaner to name the top five coolest.)

04. Twitter saves lives – for real!

Recently, Demi Moore (@mrskutcher) and Nia Vardalos (@niavardalos) alerted police when a young man threatened to kill himself via a Tweet to Moore. The police arrived at the home in time and the man got the help he needed.

03. If someone Tweets too much and is generally an annoying pain in the rear, you can just unfollow them.

Yeah, try getting rid of someone who gets under your skin that easily in real life. It can’t be done, folks. It just can’t be done…

02. Following anyone in real life is called being a stalker and is frowned upon, but following someone on Twitter is a compliment and is encouraged.

Stalking is nothing to joke about, but am I the only one who thinks Twitter needs to come up with a less creepy name for ‘following’. ‘Paying attention to’ is too wordy. Being ‘friends with’ would be too encouraging to real creepy stalkers. I don’t have any suggestions. But I’m sure there must be something better than following.

01. Real life has Miley Cyrus. Twitter does not.

After a much talked about public exit, the Twittersphere is now a Miley free zone. Alas, nothing has yet been done about Justin Bieber but be patient. He is a teenager after all. I’m sure we’ll see a tear filled exit before long.

…and those are the Top 10 Reasons Twitter Is Better Than Real Life

I’m declaring today “International Friendship Day”, simply because I’m cool like that. I remember all the friends around the world I used to write to years ago, before the internet (yes, I’m THAT old), and how much fun I had learning about other cultures, languages and countries right from the people who lived there. Oh, and the stamps were always kinda nifty too!

These days, most correspondence is sent via electronic mail and our social networking “friends” just aren’t the same as they used to be. Facebook has about a million rules you have to follow and there really isn’t any way to meet truly new, unique and interesting people there because of their dumb invite system. You have to know somebody who suggests someone that perhaps you might know through Joe, the guy who works across town at the grocery store, who has a sister, Patty, that vaguely remembers you from her poetry class and adds you because Mary thought you sounded familiar…uh…yeah.

What if you just want to meet random people to make friends, like in the old days where you could respond to an ad for letter exchanges in the newspaper? Well, now there is JuJu, a truly “social” networking site! This is an “all-in-one” solution where you can meet new friends online AND through traditional mail, without being locked out of so many of the features, like on FB, just because you don’t directly know someone.

For example, you can browse photos, blogs, groups, forums, chat and even read and post classified ads there! If you are moving somewhere, you can post to find a roommate, or if you need a travel companion, language partner or simply want a good, old fashioned free penpal, then it’s all available to you on just one website! How easy is that???

Join JuJu and make a new friend today, ‘cuz every day is international friendship day!!!

Ok, I admit it…I suck at collecting friends on Facebook! I tried. I really did, but there’s only so much poking and invitations to join some group you’ve never heard that a person can take, ya know? It’s overwhelming!

I started by adding people I actually knew in the real world, but then the virtual friends started sending invites…and then THEIR friends, and so on, until it became quite unmanageable. I’m amazed at Facebook users that have massive lists of like 100,000 people when I can barely keep track of the 20 something friends I DO have.

I mean, I hardly even know what DAY it is half the time…that’s how disorganized I am, yet there are savvy internet users who play “friend hockey” on FB to see who can collect the most members to their groups, fan pages and profiles. Last week I noticed a group with over a MILLION members…whoa!!!

Anyway, I think that some grey bloke summed up perfectly the whole Facebook social networking game, so I’ll let him explain it to you in his Youtube video.

Feel free to comment about your own FB friendship experiences…

For my first official post of 2010 I want to “name and shame” a scumbag from getafreelancer.com who ripped off a very close friend of mine. I have heard a lot recently about GAF going downhill and becoming a haven for scammers and con artists outsourcing work that was originally outsourced to them, but this one hit too close to home and I intend to do something about it.

The story began a month ago when a friend, who lives nearby, lost her job and needed money for food and bills, so I suggested writing articles for people online. She’s really good at writing, so it suited her well. She signed up on the getafreelancer site and was working literally an hour later. Everything seemed great!

She submitted the articles to the buyers and they were all pleased with her work and told her so, but then some of them didn’t pay her. No reason or explanation was given, but they just didn’t follow through on their end of the deal. I felt bad for her because she put so much time into writing for hours, only to be letdown, which would leave a sour taste in anyone’s mouth about working online again. We all know that the internet is a landmine of scams, but even I was surprised that she got burned so soon.

I asked around on forums and found out that this has been happening more often on GAF with members ripping off outsourcers and then reusing the stolen articles for their own use, or to sell to others. The worst offender in this case is a person named Mohammed Sutarwala with the username mohds2. He appears as a large provider to companies and, when they give him work to do, he then hires someone else to do it for him and doesn’t pay them, but he gets paid by the company anyway.

Now, I understand if the work is not satisfactory, but in this case Mohammed Sutarwala (mohds2) said everthing was great (we have the correspondence to prove it) AND proceeded to use those stolen articles that he did NOT pay for the right to use on other sites. We have contacted every site so far and the articles have been removed, but the point is that this is just bad business and should be stopped.

To this SCAMMER : If you really didn’t like the articles by “wandafraser” (and lied to her in the chat), then fine, but since you never paid for them, then they are NOT your property, so stop using them! Be an adult and pay for the work you had done for you! ALL incidences of your infringement WILL be reported to every site you use for this! You have been warned…

- End of Getafreelancer Stolen Articles rant. Be careful and please share this story with others or comment here if you’ve ever been cheated yourself online. I want all scammers to suffer!!

UPDATE: The same sleazeball is now also an Articleblast.com scammer (link to his “freedomto quitsmoking” profile there). ALL the writings listed as being from that author were actually written by “wanda”, and NOT by the person listed!! We have contacted that website about the infringing content and a “cease and desist” letter is being prepared…

I thought about calling this post “social media cartoons part 2″, but then I realized that was lame and stupid, as all I’m posting is a colorful graphic example of an internet social circle. Where do YOU fit in???

Sure, you have your Myspace friends and you’ve joined a few pointless Facebook groups, and now you go on Twitter and tweet about your bowel movements on a daily basis, but where are the lines drawn? Is it narcissism when you feel the need to tell the world about your life? Are people exhibiting stalker-like behavior if they follow your ramblings? Is anyone even READING this???

In the pre-internet days, you had to be WORTHY of other people’s time, or at least have a soapbox to shout from. Now we have virtual shoutboxes where anyone can clog up our minds with their drivel. They don’t even need a cause, or really any point at all. It’s a shame.

There was a time when great authors wrote great books, but now the philosophy and literature section of my local bookstore has been reduced to a few throwaway paperbacks written by self help gurus because, one would suppose, we need help. Is modern psychiatry trying to justify it’s existence by telling us that we are not ok and, therefore, must be helped? Do we really NEED to be normal???

I think I’m heading for a 21st century meltdown…

Ok, boys and girls, it’s time to have some fun! I’ve collected a few social media cartoons just for laughs to lighten up all the doom and gloom we’ve been reading on the news lately.

As with any social commentary, there is a ring of truth in each social media cartoon, especially the pulitzer prize one. I can imagine that one happening some day, don’t you agree? And we already have news soundbites, so why not investigative tweeting??? Seems like a logical next step, right? Oh dear!! You better be prepared!

Here are a few of my favorite…

That’s all folks!!

As with any social commentary, there is a ring of truth in the social media cartoon humour, in this case especially the pulitzer prize one. I can imagine that one happening some day, don’t you agree? And we already have news soundbites, so why not investigative tweeting??? Seems like a logical next step, right? Oh dear!! You better be prepared!

Here are a few of my favorite ones…

That’s all folks!!

Ok, I’m going to try this again. I just created a shiny, brand new Twitter account today and it’s so empty I can feel the breeze blowing through it. Help me!

Obviously, I’m appealing here for some followers, so I don’t look like some uber twit just tweeting to myself all day long. I wonder if someday we’ll see late night ads about sad lonely twitterers who need to be saved from their obssession?

Anyway, until such time that I can make my own infomercial, please follow me on twitter. I beg you!!!

 Anyone remember an old Atari game called “Dig Dug”? Anyone??? You had to move the little guy underground and pump creatures full of air until they exploded. Yeah, that was fun times!

But now, in the era of virtual reality, everyone wants to get their digg dug, ‘cuz it’s cool to be popular. I always sucked at the popularity game. My friends only used me because I was the first kid on the block to bring home a Nintendo system. Super Mario became my best friend on those lonely nights staring at the glowing tv screen in the dark.

Nothing much has changed. Social networking sites like Digg are now becoming overrun with people just trying to get their sites seen and pestering everyone to be their friend in hopes that they’ll dig you. I’ll digg you if you digg me, man!

I miss the comfort of Mario, and Luigi with his wobbly legs. At least they never asked for anything in return…

So, I was making my way through the BST section of the DP forums, as I do everyday due to my lack of productivity (see the PS3 post), and I noticed a site for sale featuring celebrity twitterers, twitters, uh…twits. I’ve been seeing more of these celeb twitter behavior patterns lately, what with Ellen gushing on about all her bazillion followers every night, and Ashton letting the world know every second his wife takes a dump or has a lady cramp, but this was on a whole new level of dumb.

The site was organized so you could pick out your fave famous twit and see what they are up to every waking minute. What struck me as ironic was that these celebrities claim to want privacy, and even tweet about the paparazzi harrassing them, yet they become the attention post whores of the modern era from the comfort of their own home.

And it doesn’t matter who it is, but they all seem to be using twitter as just another form of promotion. One celeb only seemed to post about this cause or that one, while another (ok, it was William Shatner!) wants everyone to watch all his latest Star Trek appearances and then visit his daughter’s shopping website.

Now, I’m fairly certain that if I told you to visit someone’s website through a tweet that I would be ignored as a spammer, but if Capt. Kirk tells you to check it out, then hey! Let’s go!! Right?? I can just picture all the big celebrities endorsing products on Twitter already. Oh, the joy to follow!!

This may seem harsh to you, but I found the whole thing quite boring after 10 minutes. Sure, I succumbed to the burning passion of curiousity and looked around for a bit, just because I NEEDED to know what these famous people had going on that was soooo important that we all had to become their unabashed followers, but after a few minutes it was apparent that this was not a place where the intellect flourished.

All the celebrity twits were either plugging something, like one big spamfest of the rich and famous, or else they were engaging in what looked just like the fast and furious text messaging world of teenagers which, in the case of Miley Cyrus, actually makes sense. Either way, it became all rather ho-hum once I realized that none of these people had anything interesting to say.

It’s too bad. I was kinda hoping Britney Spears would chirp to us about the meaning of life. Now THAT I would tweet, er…twat…uh, whatever!