Love is Louder [Vol. 2]

What??? It's Thursday Already??

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 00:33:00 +0000

I am still in my PJ's. Working on a deadline of tomorrow. And LMAO at ~~Crack~~Blackberry users. I am deeply, madly, obsessively in love with my MacBook Pro. I have ordered McDonald's for supper. I know, I know. But, a grrrl's got to let loose once in a while, doesn't she? I spent 2 hours in Abbotsford yesterday; that was enough for me. The 6 hours of bus riding made me ultra exhausted. How is it that travelling can be so incredibly tiring? I mean, when you're just sitting there? I left Abbotsford with a duffle bag, which I filled with a frozen pizza, a feather pillow, a bathrobe, pair of slippers and a bottle of facial astringent. I forgot to look at the calender. So, I had to Facebook message my roommate and get her to tell me when my period will start. The bathroom floor here is crack-your-head-wide-open slippery. Like, the previous tenant must have gone mental with floor polisher. Like, I need Batman's suction boots whenever I go in there.

Favourite Shopping Experience

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 06:10:00 +0000

the best place to shop .... ever

The Secular Prophet

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 09:10:00 +0000

Steve Jobs took the symbol of fallen humankind ~ the apple which Adam and Eve bit into ~ and combined it with God's promise of love for humankind. Now, the apple has become a symbol of progress and positivity, a symbol of the beauty man can render, as a partner in creation. Steve Jobs has revolutionized the way we experience the world: iPod, iPad, iPhone. A visionary, Steve seemed to see into the future, or did he carve it? A little bit of both, I think. I read an article recently in which the author referred to Steve Jobs as a secular prophet. How very appropriate.

What a huge loss we have endured in the passing of Steve Jobs. How blessed I feel to have been touched by him through my use of his technology. I wonder if he had any clue how many people he inspired.

The Write Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 00:35:00 +0000

1. I have this intense love-hate relationship with structure. Writing my novel without it renders the piece spineless, like a glob of jello. Writing my novel with it leaves my imagination and inspiration feeling bound and gagged, and any progress becomes inertia. How do I strike a balance between structure and imagination? I struggle with this ... a lot. It's the main hindrance to progress. It blocks me.

2. I have this fixation, this obsession, with editing. Every time I open my manuscript in WORD, I read what I've written so far, and edit. When I pause, after writing some, I revert to the manuscript's beginning and read, then edit some more. Sometimes, editing becomes my muse; sometimes, these edits allow me to see where I need to go next.

3. I frequently engage in a battle with my inner critic, which tells me that what I've written so far sucks, that I should just give up and start over. The inner critic can seem quite convincing. I have to invent ways to shut myself away from this nasty voice. Do other writers doubt themselves like this?

4. I have discovered that writing needs a schedule, that I mustn't wait to feel inspired. I can cultivate the feeling of inspiration by simply sitting down in front of my laptop and telling myself Go. I'm cheating myself otherwise.

My Favourite Photograph

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 07:13:00 +0000

This picture really speaks to me ...

not sure why, or what it says, but I simply love it!

A Thousand Kisses Deep In My Secret Life

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 04:43:00 +0000

... And sometimes when the night is slow,
The wretched and the meek,
We gather up our hearts and go,
A Thousand Kisses Deep ...

... I’m always alone.
And my heart is like ice.
And it’s crowded and cold
In My Secret Life ...

~ Leonard Cohen

Most of my friends live inside my head

"The Internet is a big bathroom wall with people writing on it all the time." -Tim

An Ending, A Beginning

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 06:33:00 +0000

We've hung on long enough. So long, in fact, that it felt as though tied to a corpse. The charade ends now. Time to bury the corpse, to remove those concrete boots. Fear has anchored me, us, long enough. There is no longer any place for fear, nor acrimony, for that matter. We were friends first, and shall ever remain friends. Still, I grieve for what once was, and is no longer.

I have so many ideas for WIPs ... just still lack the courage to sit down, in front of the screen and get cracking! I have become somewhat of a recluse, with my books and my book light. And, I'm okay with that ~ it's working for me. And so ....

image by Chuck Wendig

Random Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 05:40:00 +0000

1. Yeay, summer's coming to a close. Yeah, you read that correctly, I can hardly wait for this ridiculous sticky humid heat to end! I want the cool breezes of autumn! Besides, I love seeing people's dazed looks, as they get jolted from the mundane lull of their leisurely summertime. Grrrrrherherherhehe. Yeah, I know, I'm a mean one. In the meantime, while we wait, I've compiled some random thoughts.

2. I've been reading a lot of historical. The characters are constantly drinking wine or ale. Wow, really? Did people really drink that much alcohol hundreds of years ago?

3. I've just finished reading about the French Revolution. It left me saddened, and wondering, are we humans really, underneath all the pretenses, just instinct-driven and chaotic beings with hankering for anarchy? Maybe we just kid ourselves about being orderly and considerate. Maybe we're those things because of rules and their enforcement.

4. Some people (more often women than men, it seems) are just plain unfriendly. Hmmmm. I sometimes wonder why. And other times I wonder, who lit the fuse on your tampon!

5. I've decided that cell phones should be treated like open liquor, when it comes to driving. No, I don't think that's too harsh. So many imbeciles out there still text and talk on their cell phones while driving. This is what can happen! (WARNING VERY GRAPHIC PICTURES) Now, that's harsh! Grrrrr!! Why? Why do they do it?

Sparkfest, Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 05:43:00 +0000

Is there a book or author that changed your world view?

Sparkfest, Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 07:19:00 +0000

What author/book set off that spark of inspiration for your current Work in Progress?

I came across this book quite accidentally, a few years back when visiting my parents in Winnipeg. We decided to visit a recently opened used book shop. As I browsed the shelves, I spotted this gem. I like the concept of a story told through diary entries, such as Sandra Gulland tells the story of Josephine Bonaparte in this book. The first person narrative enables the reader to see through the character's eyes, and only through their eyes. How accurate is that particular character, in conveying the story? These all intrigue me, leaving me want to some how weave them into my stories.

Another book which has sparked me is this one. I very much like the notion of a third person, sort of on-looker, an ordinary voice telling an extraordinary tale. In this case, we view the world of the Tudor Court through the eyes of a simple fool. And finally, though not really a favourite, this book also has sparked me ~ I really like the idea of the secret diary, finally discovered, and the story unfolding through the diary's revelations. Thank you to these authors for the gift of these stories.

Sparkfest

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 19:58:00 +0000

Okay, so I am taking part in Sparkfest because I love books and writing. Today's post answers the first question.

What book made you realize you were doomed to be a writer?

I have always wanted to be a writer, ever since I can remember. But, the book that really sparked me? This one. I liked (and still do) the notion of a story told simply through letters: so much offered up for readers; so much left to the imagination. The longing, felt in each written word, seems to create some kind of tension, which plunges the reader head on into the material. I read voraciously. Many books inspire me, but this particular book provided the strongest spark to my heart and also, to my imagination.

The Book IS NOT Dead!!!

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 23:50:00 +0000

Sure, I've got my on a an e-reader.

But there's just nuthin' to replace the joy I get

from an actual, tangible book.

Sunday Seven

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 04:58:00 +0000

It's ~~Sunday~~ Monday. I haven't got much to say. Except to pass along these 7 cool sites to check out.

1. A Beer for the Shower ~ Hilarious, entertaining. Good for a laugh. And yes, they will tell you how you can enjoy a beer in the shower.
2. Verbal Release Therapy, anyone? ~ A little raunchy, so don't go there if your squeamish at the sight of the word f*ck.
3. Make Exposition Your Bitch ~ For all the writers out there that struggle with exposition as they try to stitch together their stories with their pens or keyboards.
4. Once Again ~ A breath-taking video I found on Vimeo.
5. Inspired by Tennyson ~ Found on Vimeo.
6. Move ~ Visit 11 countries in 1 minute.
7. Order The Penmonkey Surprise ~ advice for writer.

I've Been Reading!

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 07:52:00 +0000

I have spend the past several weeks trying to quelch my nearly insatiable thirst for reading and books. But not just any books (I am choosy). Only books that thrill me, that transport me to far away lands, that fling me back centuries, even a millennium, ago. And so, I have visited ~ vicariously, thru the pages of numerous books ~ the courts of kings and queens, pre-WW2 Germany, the tower of London, and even the Vatican. Even now, I find myself two-thirds of the way thru a book called Poison: A Novel of the Renaissance, and I have a stack of 6 or 7 books on my desk, waiting for me to ravish. I have not written anything of real substance in weeks; I like to think that, in reading so voraciously, I am fueling up my muse, for a time in the near future when she must work, once more.

Hoping you all are having a wonderful summer. I love to see the roses blooming, and breathe in their delicate scent. I also delight in seeing the black berries are finally plumping themselves up. The sun has been quite generous, these past few days, but it's the cool night breezes I love best.

Roxanne

Friday Five

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 03:01:00 +0000

1. Making art ~ a series by my favouritest artist, Ande Cook

2. If you're bored, or lacking inspiration, you may find some here

3. Some ideas to guide your camera's lens ~ 52 Photos Project

4. Looking for something with a definite edge? Terrible Minds

5. A writer writes about writing ~ Been Writing

Oh yeah, I'm finally on Google + and so far really liking it. Right now, the only way to get on Google + is by invite. If you'd like to try it out ... please leave a comment with your e-mail.

Enjoy you're weekend, everyone!

Those That Did Not Make It

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 02:25:00 +0000

As I ponder the personal, emotion and spiritual work I had to do to get one year clean, and the work it takes to remain clean, I take a moment to reflect on those that did no make it .... how sad, for them, and moreover for those left behind, who loved them so.

Going to rehab remains one of the best decisions I ever made.

With Luv, For Jamie Ridler

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 06:05:00 +0000

Jamie Ridler is celebrating the second anniversary of her website's launch by holding a video contest. This is my entry ...

With Luv, For Jamie Ridler by Roxanne Galpin on Vimeo.

Hello, How Are You

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 05:24:00 +0000

1. Am still getting accustomed to the new blogger user interface. It's pretty and all, but when you've had the same user interface for 5, almost 6, years, the new one feels like a sort of culture shock.

2. I've been writing. Since my mind is like a spaghetti junction of ideas and inspirations, the writing comes out all over the place. The story has not formed itself in any kind of order, inside my mind.

3. Writing feels to me like a form of haemorrhage. Yes, to write = to bleed.

4. When writer's block plagues me, then I've been reading. Reading inspires me; I've got a notebook on my bedside table where I jot down little bits of inspiration that I get from reading.

5. I love Goodreads; see the button in the sidebar to find out what I've been reading. Currently reading The Girl Who Played With Fire. Stieg Larsson was an awesome writer; his was a life definitely cut too short.

6. I've been clean and sober for a year now.

So .... how are you? What are you up to, these days?

image: deviantART

One Year

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 01:33:00 +0000

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

~ Marilyn Monroe

Today marks 1 year clean and sober for me. The past year brought monumental changes into my life and also my self. I cried, laughed, screamed, and prayed. I lived with 17 drug-addicted women in a rehab house, for the first and I hope the last time in my life. I have trustworthy and likable-lovable women in my life ~ me, who tends to mistrust and push away women! I discovered the 12 steps, they work, no shit, they work. I find I have more patience and tolerance than I ever did in my whole life. I no longer play the role of control freak, because I no longer need to control everything around me. {whew! does that ever feel good!} I won't lie ~ staying clean has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. The work didn't stop when I reached step 12, nor when I graduated from the rehab programme. The work happens every day. Every day, presents a new battle with myself. And also, the opportunities to do those certain things and cleave to those certain people/affiliations that will keep me clean and sober.

So, thanx to all those who loved me and stuck by me at my worst, throughout my metamorphosis, and still stick by me now, today. You know who you are and I love you for it .... xoxoxo

A Bedtime Story?

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 07:35:00 +0000

Trust30 ~ Divine Idea

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 07:21:00 +0000

Divine idea ~ force of the moon ~ a creature with cold, forbidding beauty, born under a dark star. Living a nightmare from which he cannot wake. A stranger to himself, he sits inside a prison of intoxicating rage, stitching the tapestry of deceit ~ his. He sells truth to the highest bidder ~ his word erratic as the wind. His exquisite face, grooved with sorrow. Happiness has died for this, a sad ghost. Still, his blistered, broken heart belongs to me. My love for him dances, naked, on my face. My love for him, the blood of his soul. And, perhaps, of mine.

image from deviantArt

{this post inspired by the #Trust30 writing challenge}

Trust30 ~ Your Personal Message

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 10:05:00 +0000

Love is louder than hatred and war.

{this post created for the #Trust30 challenge}

Trust30 ~ Afraid To Do

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 03:01:00 +0000

Writing cleanses. Writing provides me with a place where I can wash my fears and hang them out to dry. Many times, writing becomes the only place I can truthfully face my fears, and then return to visit them. Passion, pain, regret, grief, desperation, trauma, helpless vulnerability ~ all of these frighten me, and all of these take presence in my writing. Writing delivers me from my fears, fears that I offer up for all to see, in the rawness of wounded moments. Writing enables me to metabolize my fears.

{this post created for the #Trust30 challenge}

Wishcasting Wednesday ~ What Do You Wish to Begin?

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 07:14:00 +0000

This week Jamie Ridler asks us what we wish to begin. Here is my answer ...

Letting Go ... Accepting Myself and My Feelings

... Sharing My Story ... Restoring My Faith in Myself

Untitled

noreply@blogger.com (roxanne s. sukhan) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 00:51:00 +0000

My heart feels empty, like an empty vessel, waiting, just waiting for guidance or approval, or both. And fulfillment, as in waiting for something cosmic to fill it's painful emptiness. My heart aches at the reality of this existential solitude. My living experience is my own ~ mine alone and no one else's. The fact the some things ~ lofty temptations, disjointed feelings and incomprehensible thoughts ~ are mine alone to bear fills me with a cavernous sort of loneliness. I sometimes catch myself longing for the old life ~ a life lived only for the next reefer. And sad as this thought feels, the fact that I've had it renders me even more sad. My heart feels confused about where it's loyalties should lie. That leaves it feeling wretched ... ungrateful and wretched. I feel unworthy, and somewhat unreal. And sometimes, even purposeless. I tell myself that, this too shall pass. And so, I do nothing to drown out this disconcerting emotional thinking. And I just wait. And I just hope. For my self to return.