Love Like This Life

Nature Walks with our Puggle

2013-05-07T08:32:00.001-04:00

Brokaw loves our walks outdoors. Since spring we have enjoyed the other animals in our neighborhood. His beagle instinct takes over sometimes and he can't help chasing them down. When they're far enough away he just watches. These geese were not happy to see us and squeaked to let us know. Brokaw was puzzled at the noise they made.

This mallard family was in our retention pond a few days ago. We saw three or four babies with them. Mamma Mallard had her eye on us. Brokaw wanted to get close, but I told him not to harass the poor babies.

Look carefully and you'll see a couple of bunnies in this photo. Don't feel bad if you don't because Brokaw didn't see them either. He usually sees the rabbits at night when sensible people are inside and they think they are safe. Silly rabbits. He gets excited when they bounce by.

Joni and Ken: An Untold Love Story (Review & GIVEAWAY)

2013-05-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday morning, before the sun came up, I finished a book.

Not just any book.

A book that I feel one day, I'll be able to write myself, somewhat.

I finished this book with tears streaming down my face.
Two minutes after I finished it, I crawled back into the darkness and pile of pillows and blankets that is our king sized bed, and snuggled into my favorite place in the world.

Michael's right shoulder.

I shed a couple of tears on my favorite quad's chest.

You see, it took me weeks to finish this book.
Because I had to keep putting it down.
Some parts of it were just too real, too painful for me to read.

Like this, about Ken adjusting to living and loving someone with a disability:

"It took a while to separate himself emotionally from what happened in the bathroom, but he was able to shake it off. With God's help, he believed he was up to the task. She believed he was too. But it didn't take away the fear."

When Joni and Ken met and fell in love, she was already paralyzed. Living in a wheelchair and all of that was already a part of her "normal" life. Ken was swept off his feet by Joni. I can't blame him. She is breathtakingly beautiful, and full of God's grace. Who in their right mind, with the chance, wouldn't be swept away?

I was swept away with my quad, too.
I remember those days of simultaneously falling in love, and swimming in fear.
But the sweetest part of it was being able to trust God, and trust Michael.

Joni and Ken: An Untold Love Story takes you through their journey of meeting and falling in love, and getting married, and then, the part that made me cry.

When they fell into the routine of everyday living/caregiving/working/marriage and keeping a house, and before they knew it...

"It was like climbing a mountain where you took one step ahead and slid back two; instead of making progress, you felt like you were going backward. No matter how diligently you worked at it, you were never 'done.'

Sometimes he found himself asking, How did I get here? Why is everything so hard? Why don't things ever get better?"

Joni and Ken have had additional and different struggles than we've had. Joni has had to deal with chronic pain, and breast cancer. Ken had to learn what it's like to be married to a famous person.

But, there is so much that we relate to, and so much to learn from this treasure of a book. I encourage anyone who is married to read it, especially if you juggle a disability in your marriage.

My favorite line of the whole book? It's from the beginning, when they were out on a boat, just the two of them, during their dating days.

"Ken spoke up. 'It could work, you know.'"

Joni and Ken are 30 years into their beautiful marriage. That's almost 10 times as into this as we are. We're thankful to have them as great role models to look up to. I am personally grateful that they decided to peel the veil back, and let us in. I'm also grateful for their ministry, Joni and Friends, which we've both been blessed by, and had the opportunity to serve.

We're so blessed that we've been able to meet them and get to know them.

I'd like to bless one of you with a copy of this book. Please share this blog post on Facebook, and you'll be entered to win. I'll randomly pick a winner, and contact you via Facebook to let you know you've won by Sunday, May 12th.

You can buy the book here.

What It's Like to be on a Reality Show

2013-05-04T08:22:00.001-04:00

This past weekend, our episode of "I'm Married to A..." was on VH1.

You can watch the full episode here:

I'm Married To A... | Quadriplegic & Dominatrix

As I wrote about before, the crew was here just as we were first moving to Virginia Beach, and as I started my new job.

People have asked me if we were nervous to share our story. The answer? Not really. We share our story all the time here on the blog, and while no, we don't write about our sex life or about trying to have a baby, you had to know by now that both of those scenarios exist in our life.

By the way, there's no great baby update yet. Honestly, we haven't been trying, yet. Our life right now is consumed with my job.

So, that baby - while already incredibly loved, and covered by prayers of people all over the world - is on hold, for now.

You can read more of an update on VH1's blog. They interviewed us after the episode aired this week.

I want to tell you what the last week has been like.

It has been overwhelming, in the best way possible.

We have both received hundreds of social media messages and comments, emails and text messages from people in our lives (some that we haven't heard from in 20+ years) and some heartfelt greetings from complete strangers.

It's been hard to keep up.

But - it's all been so encouraging, and such a blessing.

We did not put our story out there for any kind of recognition. Definitely not for pity.

Knowing that our story, and our openness has given some people hope - that real love exists, that tough circumstances are worth pushing through, and that even a show that features a dominatrix can also show your faith, has been really fun.

We already knew that the love ("Love Like This") that we share is something special. It's interesting for so many other people to see it now, too. We want that for every marriage, every relationship.

Now - obviously, our love is not pure and perfect and devoid of me acting like a you-know-what during "shark week," and Michael sometimes being annoyed and disappointed. We face marriage issues like money and jealousy and selfishness, just like anyone else.

Don't put us up on a pedastal. Please. We'll fall right off.

But thank you for taking the time to encourage us, to lift us up, and to pray for us. It means a lot.

And to the crew, and the team at VH1 and everyone involved with the casting and production of the show, thank you for giving us a chance.

I'll never forget the day I came home from work, and there were lights and cameras all over my house.

I'll never forget wearing a microphone, and trying to come up with enough clothes that actually fit, for the wardrobe changes, that would work with wearing said microphone. And setting camera shots, and being on the other side of the camera - which, by the way - I was surprisingly comfortable with.

I'll never forget these nice people, Evie, Mary, Jenn, MJ, Brian, Orrin, and Andy - who took Brokaw on a million walks so you wouldn't hear a barking or snoring Puggle in the background of every shot.

I'll never forget watching ourselves on our own TV in our living room where everything was taped. It was the strangest thing, ever.

One day, we'll look back at this experience and chuckle, "remember that time we were on a reality show?"

But - I know this for sure, now. We won't ever regret it.

Thanks again to everyone who made this possible for us.

By the way - here are some more clips from the show.

Our love story:

I'm Married To A...

Our morning routine:

I'm Married To A...

Celebrating good news:

I'm Married To A...

And, finally, building a wheelchair ramp - which has to be the nicest we've ever worked together.

I'm Married To A...

Saturday Morning Post

2013-05-04T07:32:00.000-04:00

Well.
Hello there, 6:30 a.m. Saturday.
I was wondering if you'd ever come back to me.

But, here you are in all your glory.
Your peace and quiet.
Your only sounds are the wind chime dancing in the back yard, and the Puggle crunching his Beneful.
Your taste is of Starbucks Tribute Blend.

Aaaahh.
Here you are.
My empty computer screen, and my full mind and my no-alarm-clock, sleeping-husband, everything-has-been-cleared-off-the-day-Saturday.
Let's hang out.
All day.

I've slept 13 hours, and Brokaw peed on that white chair up there, but I don't care.
I'll wash it. Later.

Let's do nothing.
Which we both know is actually a lot.
Three lists, actually.
Home.
Work.
Blog.

Let's tackle those lists and try to remember to rest and to eat and to drink more water.
Let's do this.

P.s. More on my thoughts of being on a reality show, coming soon. I promise. But now, coffee and an e-Book bundle that you really do need to check out.

Our Episode Airs Tonight!

2013-04-28T06:05:00.000-04:00

I'm Married To A...

I told you guys last week about how Michael and I are going to be featured in a reality show called "I'm Married to a..."

Well... tonight is the big night!

I had to Google what the other couple was. I'd never heard of the word "dominatrix." Oh my.

The thought of all of the little church ladies all over the country watching this for our story makes me feel kind of weird, but obviously we have no control over who they paired us with. Plus - they may have had to Google "quadriplegic," anyway!

I hope you'll watch tonight at 10pm ET on VH1.

The episode will be online in a few days, along with extra clips.

I'll admit, I'm pretty nervous about it, but thankful for the opportunity, and I know that our story will be out there for many more people to read.

I just hope it encourages someone. We're thankful for the chance to have this experience!

I Wish I Had More Time

2013-04-27T09:10:00.000-04:00

It’s 8:55 a.m. I wish I had more time.

Story of my life, right?

I want to write so much.

I want to write about how I finished Joni & Ken’s book at 5:00 a.m., with the moonlight streaming in through the big window over our living room, and all I could hear was Brokaw snoring, and the air purifier in the bedroom as Michael slept.

I want to write about how after I finished it, I snuggled up on my favorite shoulder in the world, shed a few tears, then fell back asleep.

I want to write about the nightmares I had. One was about giving a pair of cute mint Chuck Taylors found on sale, up to someone else, and having immense regret about it. Another was about how I was spending weekend time at home, until my boss called me to YELL at me about how the news was a mess and I needed to come to work immediately. And for some reason, I kept not going in, and yet at the same time, not getting anything done at home.

I have very real dreams.

I want to write about how I’m surprised by how much I miss being at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner this weekend, but share about how the pain of not being there but having been there before is not quite as bad as the pain of wanting to go and wondering if I will ever get there was.

I want to write about TV news, and Boston, and Marvell Edmonson and how now that I’m a little older, I think it all affects me a little differently. And about that guy who cursed on the air and ended up on the Today Show.

I want to write about seeing our friends Steve and Christy and how special they are and how life and God are crazy good sometimes, if you just pay attention.

I want to put together the Origami Owl giveaway for a blog reader.

But, alas.

Life goes on.

I’m out of time.

Maybe, maybe at some point, I will re-open this computer, expand my thoughts, and experience that deep exhale I feel when I write. I miss that feeling so much.

For now, another inhale.

Another day.

Yes, it’s a gift.

But this party is going by too fast.

See y’all later. It’s 9:04 a.m., and I've got to go.

The Day We Shopped Until He Dropped

2013-04-23T06:00:00.000-04:00

This Spring was a long time coming.

A few weeks ago, in an attempt to fake ourselves out that Spring would, in fact, one day come, we went on a shopping trip to get some new, colorful Spring clothes for Michael.

We parked outside of what we thought was an Old Navy, but is actually an Old Navy under construction. We decided we were up for the exercise, so we walked through the mall to Target, and a few other stores.

By the end of the shopping trip, Michael was loaded down as pictured above, full pack-mule style.

He offers to do this, by the way. This is not quad husband abuse.

It's important to note that those Target bags hanging on the back of his chair were LOADED down with heavy things like laundry detergent, dishwashing detergent, trail mix, orange juice...

Okay.
So, we stroll through the mall like this, totally parade style with people parting ways to stare at us like we're the Disney light parade or something. I was just waiting for small children to expect us to throw candy.

I was carrying stuff, too, just so you know. But not this much. :)

We get to the van.
I open it up.
The ramp deploys.

As I'm opening up the passenger door, Michael is wheeling himself up the ramp.

Then... ever so not-panicky... he says, "Um...."
And I look over.
And I see him, FALLING BACKWARDS but really, really slowly.

So, I walk behind him, and very slowly, his head plops down in my chest, and like the Sumo wrestler that I currently am, I muscled Michael, the wheelchair, and all of that heavy stuff that caused him to fall backwards so easily, upright.

I'm thinking it was about 240 lbs. I'm no math whiz, but it was a lot. I'm also clearly no physics whiz either!

There was a couple driving by in a mini-van, just looking.
Like, "something's not right here..."

I was so proud of myself that I didn't have to ask for help! I get a rush out of that. It's not healthy.

I got Michael tied down, started to drive away, and then I started shaking, a little.

Glad he didn't hit his head.

I have no idea how he fell so slowly and not-dramatically. Full Michael style.

I'm Married To A... Quadriplegic

2013-04-21T20:56:00.000-04:00

Michael and I haven't been able to talk about it, but we are very excited to share with all of you that we are going to be featured in an episode of VH1's "I'm Married To A..."

The season premieres tonight at 10pm ET.
We don't know yet the specific date of our episode, but when I get that information, you can be sure I will pass it along to you!

This opportunity kind of came out of nowhere. They found us through our blog, and all of a sudden, we were doing a casting video.

I was just sure that we were going to be too old, I was going to be too fat, and Brokaw was going to be too crazy for us to get picked.

But we were picked!

So - remember when we moved, and you all thought I was so awesome for getting our place put together in like a week? Yeah. Nothing like having a reality TV crew arriving to make you get your act together!

I'm a TV producer for a living. Y'all know this, right?
Well.
Let me tell you.
Being on the other side of the camera, being produced myself, was such an interesting experience.
I can't say enough nice things about the crew.
They were so great.
Brokaw was seriously sad when the one crew member who constantly took him on walks was gone.

Y'all know we are pretty conservative people. I know a lot of y'all are too.
So, I want to be real with you about this show. There are some couples and story lines in the show that are out there.

I told the producers that we are going to be so boring!! Haha.

But - know this.
We decided it was something we wanted to be a part of, to share with the world that yes, while our circumstances may be different than the norm - we are so much like everyone else, and we face challenges like everyone else, and at the root of it all, we're just a couple in love.

I hope you will check the show out!
We totally upgraded our cable package so we don't miss it.

Here are a couple of trailers for the show.
This one is an extended set of clips from the season. We are at about 1:25 on this one.

I'm Married To A...

This one is a "First Look." We are at about : 20 in on this one.

I'm Married To A...

Color Vibe 5K, Who's In?

2013-04-17T06:00:00.000-04:00

I'm so happy to be working out again, and getting back in shape.

I've been wanting to do one of these Color Vibe 5K's, because it looks like a ton of fun to be sprayed with a bunch of paint, run as part of a team, plus a 5K isn't crazy hard, and I should realistically be able to be ready by July 20th.

If you're in the Hampton Roads area and would like to join us on our team, you can sign up and register here. Our team name is "No Luck, Only Sacrifice," in honor of our friend Sgt. Derek McConnell.

I'd love to get back in shape, in Derek's name. I think he would have liked that.
So - if you're local - and would like to sign up, you can click on that link up there, and if you need the password for the team, just email me: danabrownritter@gmail.com, and I'll get it to you!

On Taking Out The Trash

2013-04-16T06:00:00.000-04:00

You see this picture, here?
It looks like a trash can, right?

Well, it's not just that.
It's so much more.

Because my husband put it there.
My husband, who is paralyzed from the chest down, thank you very much.

This is how this went down.

I got a text message with the above picture and the caption, "Your hubby took out the trash."
To which, I replied, of course, "Whoa. How did u do that?"
Michael's answer: "Awesomeness."

I LOVE HIM!

I immediately started imagining how in the world he did this, without landing on the ground, covered in trash, Brokaw rolling around in it and eating coffee grounds.

Then, I stopped myself.
And I just enjoyed the simple beauty that is the fact that my husband took the trash can to the curb.

This is one of those little things that I don't think about a lot, but I just do over and over, and I assumed I would do it over and over for years and years until we had a kid, and that kid was old enough/strong enough/probably paid in some way to take the trash out to the curb.

But just like this, on a random Thursday morning, my world changed.

I'm not saying he will always take the trash out, or that I expect him to. That's totally not the point.

The point is that I am so blessed to be married to a guy who never gives up, never stops getting better, getting stronger, and finding ways to take care of me.

I love the trash guy.

And for the record, I still can't figure out how he did it.

Seven Years of Turkey Legs

2013-04-15T05:41:00.000-04:00

Today is Brokaw's 7th birthday!

I can't believe this little guy has been in my life for 7 years. He still acts like a puppy.
And that's totally my fault.
I love him too much.

Giveaway: Thirty One Large Utility Tote

2013-04-14T14:11:00.000-04:00

Hello, friends! Remember when I wrote my eBook, launched it, then completely fell off the earth?

Yeah.
About that.

I'm sorry.
You know that phrase, "you bit off more than you could chew?"
Welcome to my life.

Anyway.
I'm back!
And I have a really fun giveaway to share with you today!

It's a Large Utility Tote from Thirty One.

I actually have one of these bags, and it is great! I've used it for trips, moving, groceries, you name it.

It's big enough to hold lots of stuff, but it also collapses for easy storage!

I have to thank my friend Heather for sponsoring this giveaway. Heather is a caregiver to her boyfriend, Colin, who is a paraplegic. We had the honor of meeting them last year and they are a great couple.

You can check out Heather and Colin's blog here.

And Heather's Thirty One shop here.

Now, here's the deal with this Giveaway.

All you have to do is buy the eBook (it's totally fine if you've already bought it) and send me a receipt to my email: danabrownritter@gmail.com.

You can buy the book here.

I'll keep this giveaway open until 12:00pm on Thursday, April 18th, and I'll announce the winner on Friday, April 19th.

I will just choose the winner randomly.

If you've participated in other eBook related giveaways, that's totally fine! Feel free to enter this one, too!

I want to thank y'all so much for all of your support with the eBook project, and these giveaways are just a fun way to do that.

Cherry Blossoms in our own Neighborhood

2013-04-10T08:21:00.001-04:00

This morning I took Brokaw for a walk in our neighborhood. It was beautiful. I wanted to share a few pictures of the cherry blossom trees with you. I hope you enjoy.

Happy Spring!

2013-04-06T08:23:00.002-04:00

Good morning from my spot on the couch!
It's been a while.

I really miss blogging. I wish I had more time to do it, but unfortunately there are lots of super fun adult things I need to do like vacuum out my SUV, taxes, and chop vegetables.

I should go to the gym today, but I don't know if I will. Someone, please - make me! Recently, my sister and I bought Cross Fit Groupons, but I feel like I need to go to the gym a few times before going there to try it. You know, kind of like how you have to clean your house before the cleaning lady comes?

There is a little brown dog beside me who won't get more than 6 inches away from me. I think he seriously thought we were never coming home.

The washer and dryer are humming, catching up on all that vacation laundry.

I hope to finish Joni & Ken's book today. It was released the other day. It hits home so hard, I've had to put it down a couple of times and walk away.

Oh, and remember my eBook? Yeah... well, I still have some giveaways to do to promote it. Kind of dropped the ball on those. Hopefully you'll see them on here soon - or maybe I'll just keep teasing it and never actually doing anything.

Eeek.
Cheers.
Happy Saturday!

Goodbye, Vacation

2013-04-05T08:10:00.002-04:00

Good morning from the green chair/ottoman near the window of the Hilton Garden Inn in Charleston, SC.

I have a hot cup of Maxwell (oy) beside me, the Today Show on TV (double oy) and a sleeping husband under a pile of blankets on the king sized bed in the middle of this accessible room.

I love him.

I love that he wanted me to wake up early, get some coffee, and have some time to myself, before starting the day.

Before taking care of him.

Before dealing with things like bed bags, and gait belts, and lantiseptic.
Bless his heart.

This is our last full day of vacation, and I’m exhausted.
Overwhelmed with joy.
Reminded of what it’s like to fall in love with Michael.

We fell in love and became an us during a series of vacations.
Texas.
Arkansas.
North Carolina.
Virginia Beach.
DC.

All adventures that weren’t crowded with work and demands of every day life.
Apparently, that’s the environment where we do best.

Great. Because that’s sustainable, right?

We’re going home this afternoon.
I miss Brokaw.
He is my best good buddy, and I just know that he’s shed two thirds of his fur on top of the arm chair in the living room.

Tomorrow morning, I’ll be on a manager-on-call conference call, performing my husband’s bathroom routine, dealing with a barking dog, and washing that puggle hair covered chair cover.

Bliss.

I want to find more balance in my life.
I know, doesn’t everyone?

But - seriously.
Since we’ve moved, I have become SO focused on my job. Which is great. I love my job.

But, recently, I've learned that it’s not the JOB that makes me obsessed with work, even while I’m not there. It’s ME.
That kind of sucks, because I don’t like to be the root of any problem.
But, it’s also kind of great, because I can do something about it.

Now, I just need to figure out what to do.

This Is Not Okay

2013-03-26T20:27:00.000-04:00

I just don't know if I can get past this.

I keep feeling numb. And empty. And angry. And just... stumped.

Even now, I stare at this empty computer screen. Knowing. Knowing that I need to write about this in order to be able to move on. In order to process the pain. In order to honor my friend.

And yet, nothing comes out.

Because, as Siobhan says, there are no words.

The other day, I went to Target. I simultaneously bought two cards to celebrate the upcoming birth of my little brother's baby boy, and two sympathy cards.

Disbelief.

Why am I standing in this aisle at Target, staring at sympathy cards? Sympathy cards, in their sea of light blue, and silver, and italics. Like any piece of paper can do a loss like this justice. Sympathy cards are the worst. How in the world can the writers at Hallmark know what to say any better than we do? How in the world do you comfort a mother, and a fiance who shouldn't be saying goodbye?

I bought two cards, anyway. I hate them. I hate this whole situation.

Tomorrow, Michael and I will get up early, and drive to Walter Reed to go to Derek's honor ceremony. I am just sick to my stomach thinking about it.

I can't imagine driving through that gate... without bringing a bunch of food for him and Krystina. Without laughing with them, and hanging out, sharing stories, and reading Derek's writing, and talking about politics.

I was standing in the kitchen last week when I got the text message from his mom that he had passed away. The no-words thing started then. I couldn't form words. I just walked into the living room, and handed Michael my phone. Within seconds, I was on my knees on the floor, my head in Michael's lap, crying. He stroked my hair. He wrote text messages I couldn't, and he was so strong for me.

I called my mom, and we wept. I called my sister. Michael called my dad.
I knew I had to get a hold of my brother, who is overseas.

I had to go to work that night. I didn't even bother with make-up.
I remember sitting in my SUV in the driveway, seeing the garage door close on the van that Derek and Krystina gave us.

I'll never forget that day I was in my hotel room in Salt Lake City, and my phone rang and it was Derek, telling us they were going to give us the van. What an unbelievable, life-changing blessing it has been in our lives.

The song playing on the radio as I drove to work that night went something like: "You make all things work together for my good," it was that song "Your Love Never Fails."

Songs like this in times like this are tough. Because sometimes, no matter how deep and strong your faith is, it's SO HARD to believe, because things like this are not okay!

It's not okay that Derek, a healthy, strong, young man stepped on two IEDs in Afghanistan, was blown up, went through SO MUCH to fight to keep his life, only to lose it out of nowhere.

It's not okay that a week ago, Krystina was planning her dream wedding, and now she is canceling everything, and saying goodbye.

It's not okay that Siobhan has lost so much, her life, her job - getting Derek to where he was, and now next week, she will be handed a folded flag.

It's not okay that Jessica Allen has to tell her two little girls that Derek is gone.

It's not okay that I have to tell my brother that his Army brother is gone.

It's not okay that I will know this name when it pops up in my work email inbox as a DOD casualty notification.

It's not okay for Derek. It's not okay for any of these young men and women. It's not okay for their families and their friends and the medical teams that work so tirelessly to save them, and their military brothers and sisters that they serve with.

It's not okay!

This sucks!

And I do have faith. I do. I do believe that Derek is whole now, is not hurting, and is at peace. I do believe that all things work together for good in the end. But right now, it doesn't feel good. Right now, it's not okay.

And I don't know when it will be okay.

I know this.
I am changed for knowing Derek. And Krystina and Siobhan.
I am changed, for the better.

I know that for the wounded, the fight never ends.
I want to always be a part of the healing.
And I challenge you to be a part of it, too.

We have to take care of our warriors, you guys! We MUST.

Grieving the Loss of our Wounded Warrior

2013-03-19T09:06:00.000-04:00

Last night we received word that our friend Derek had passed away.

We met Derek in summer of 2011 when he was admitted to Walter Reed in Maryland. He was injured in an IED blast in Afghanistan serving with Chris, Dana's brother.

In the first few months Derek's mom and girlfriend hardly left his bedside. They ate cafeteria food or fast food and slept in the base motel or his room. We took them meals, visited them, and did our best to encourage them.

To say Derek was injured doesn't do him justice. He lost both legs and almost lost his right arm. Doctors pulled off a medical marvel piecing him together. But he worked tirelessly the past two years.

Alongside were Siobhan and Krystina. They were there for Derek and others in the ward. They supported their fellow warriors and their families. They lived through the victories and hardships.

The past year--despite many medical and bureaucratic hurdles--his life, no, their lives moved forward.

Siobhan moved home, but was still around.

Derek proposed to Krystina. They moved to an apartment. He learned to walk on prosthetics. They received a new, wheelchair-accessible van (giving us their old one). They planned their discharge in the next few weeks. They planned their dream wedding. They were going home!

But Monday morning Krystina was unable to wake Derek.

In tribute she wrote,

You gave me the best 6 years I could have ever asked for with someone. I know you'll always be with me. I tried everything I could to help you today. I hope you know that, I'm so sorry. :[ I will always love you.

Caregivers pour so much of their lives into their loved one. In the midst of being attendant, advocate, and cook they still remain parent, lover, spouse, or friend.

We grieve with Krystina and Siobhan and their family in their loss. They have worked so hard these two and a half years toward his homecoming. It isn't fair. They deserve his homecoming and their future.

While our lives go on, they are left with a chasm of indescribable loss. We ache for them. We are angry for them. We stand with them. We love them.

On Intimacy, And Being Married to Your Best Friend

2013-03-16T07:42:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I feel like we've been married forever, and I can't even remember what my life was like before.

Sometimes he says something and I think, "Who are you?" because I feel like even now, coming up on 4 years of marriage, we're still getting to know each other.

But, we've been together long enough for me to know:

-that he likes salt on his fries
-that he is fiercely protective of me, he even tries to protect me from myself
-that he is really sweet, down to his core, and it comes naturally to him
-that if he's mad or frustrated or short-fused, something is up
-that God, a good talk, and a glass of wine can fix a lot

We have had a lot going on lately. Especially with transitioning to a new place, and my new job which means being up at crazy hours. Michael has been such a champ.

I hate to see anything mess with him. It makes me want to get out my baseball bat. And I happen to have an awesome swing.

I want to obliterate anyone/anything that makes life difficult for him.
And, sometimes, if I can, I do.

But there are sometimes that we can't fight our spouse's battles physically.
But - we can pray!

Last night, Michael shared something he was going through recently with me, along with this verse:

James 4:10: Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up."

We ended up having a deep conversation about things that we are both going through.
The way best friends do.

I am forever thankful for our ability to have that kind of intimacy.
It is a gift.

Now - I'm going to go get my best friend up for the day, and I'm going to see to it that he gets out of this house, and has some FUN today! I think I'm going to buy him a prize or two, too.

He deserves it.
I look up to him more than he realizes, and I learn from him all the time.

Chocolate Cream 3.14

2013-03-14T20:09:00.001-04:00

Today a lot of friends posted about the date being 3/14.

In math 3.14 is a magical number Pi.

I posted in Facebook I was craving some "chocolate cream 3.14".

Look what my awesome wife brought home!

Crazy Dreams And Waking Up Screaming

2013-03-13T06:00:00.000-04:00

Can we talk about crazy dreams for a second?

Because I have had some really weird ones lately.

I don't usually remember my dreams, don't usually write them down, and almost never analyze them.

Most of my dreams just have to do with regular life, are not imaginative at all, so that makes these all the more interesting!

Saturday, after we went to the beach and had a nice, long walk on the boardwalk, and we stopped on the way home and got Chipotle, then I fell asleep on the couch.

I dreamed Michael and I were driving down the road in the van. Chopper 10 pulled up beside us. Not kidding. There were 4 people from work looking at me and pointing at their phones. I realized they were trying to call me. I called them, then they told me they wanted me to take a picture of them in the chopper and upload it to Facebook, so I did.

Then I realized that there were 4 people on the chopper. I was like, “What is Anita doing on there? You guys can't have four people on the chopper at one time!” And someone explained to me, “oh, sometimes she just likes to ride along.”

And I had to go all manager-style and put the kabosh on that for safety reasons.

Michael and I got back on our way.... and suddenly, we were on a boat.

Then, my phone rang again. There was some sort of breaking news, and I needed to hurry back to the station.

So, we got off the boat, and then we had to stop at a gas station. We were in a big hurry. Michael somehow knocked about 100 candy bars off of a shelf in the convenience store onto the floor. He was insisting he pick them up himself, one by one, with his quad paws. I was begging him to just let me pick them up, because we were in a hurry, but he was getting mad. In picking them up himself, he was rolling over other candy bars, and there was chocolate squirting everywhere.

I woke up, screaming at him.

-----

Sunday afternoon, we went to sleep much later than we were supposed to. I got a lot done though. Such is the trade-off of life, right? If you get ahead in one thing, you end up behind in another thing.

Anyway.

I didn't have much time to sleep.

But, I still managed to have a crazy dream!

In this dream, I was sleeping by myself, on a top bunk bed. And when I was going to bed, I had to sneak in, real quiet, for some reason.

Then, I woke up, and I needed to sneak out, which was going to be a challenge, sneaking down the bunk bed, but I had a plan. Then, I smelled something awful.

Like, really awful.

So, I turned on the light.

And I saw a disguisting sight! There were bed bags and leg bags hanging all over my bed! With really gross urine in them! Urine with sediment, and stones, and blood, and the bags were dripping and one was pouring out like a hose! And there were some that were over full like bubbles or balloons, and when I slid down off the top bunk, they burst and the disguisting urine got all over me.

And, I woke up screaming.

Again.

Need. More. Coffee.

The Power of Simple Words

2013-03-12T01:31:00.000-04:00

Recently we saw a conversation among several friends in our Facebook group about how under appreciated many of the wives feel as caregivers. At the bottom of it is that most of the women feel overwhelmed. Here's what they shared and things husbands should keep in mind.

Several of the wives juggle the demands of parenting, homemaking, and a job. On top of that they all--to some extent--take care of their spouse's disability-related needs. Typical tasks include dressing, exercise, bathroom care, feeding or preparing meals, medicine, doctor and therapy appointments, cleaning up accidents or wheelchair tracks, and a dozen or more others. By the time they get to bed they're exhausted. However, if their husband needs anything during the night they're still on call. It is never-ending.

Many of them understand that their husbands generally do what they can to help. These guys range in physical ability and time after injury. But many of them aren't necessarily angry with their husband.

This reminds me of a point Dana and I have made time and time again: the disability and all of the stuff that goes with it is a third person in our marriage. It helps us focus our frustration away from each other.

That said, beyond what husbands can do for our wives is what we say to our wives. Overwhelmingly, the wives said it means so much when husbands say "I love you" and "Thank you." Such a simple, but thoughtful step lightens their burden. I find Dana really appreciates when I ask her--not order her--to do something. Finally, the wives mentioned how important compliments and gratitude for the non-caregiver things are; that they like to be reminded she is your wife first.

It's so good to know this isn't rocket science. While compliments and affectionate words won't always trump the overwhelming waves of caregiving, they help fill the sails that keep our wives going.

On Going Back to THE Church

2013-03-09T07:38:00.001-05:00

Well.
Look at that.
It's Saturday, again.

These weeks are just flying by!
Working 10 hour days doesn't leave much time for blogging, and I really miss it.

But, I'm here now.

Last Sunday, we went to church.
It was great, being back in church again.

This wasn't just any church. It was the church where I was first born as a little bitty, baby Christian.
I was 16, and I wore nothing but Old Navy, and I drove a 1982 Red Pontiac Firebird.

Jesus changed my life, and fueled everything in between then and now.
Now.
Now I'm back.
Not as a 16 year old blonde in a hot car.
But as a 33 year old married blonde (minus my current root situation) in a minivan.
Oy.

It's a strange feeling - going back to a place that was so monumental in making you who you are today, but being older, wiser (?), and married and mid-career.

I felt old.
But, I'm glad I'm back.

Even with my forehead wrinkles.
And my minivan.
Especially with my husband.

There's no place like home.

Survival Mode And Finding Rhythm

2013-03-02T02:58:00.000-05:00

Well, hello there, friends.

It's 2:40am on Saturday, and here I am.

Fuzzy socks on, by the fire, with a warm cup of freshly ground, freshly brewed this making it's way into my hungry, confused tummy.

I've missed you.

I've missed this.

Writing, and commenting, and posting pictures and sharing life with all of you.

But, "real life" has completely taken over.

It's good, though.

It's really, really good.

I love my new job. I am working with a fabulous team. Michael and I are adjusting to being on an overnight schedule. (Yes, I said overnight schedule. You wonder how that TV news is on your screen every morning? It's because of TV news elves like me, who work through the night)

This past week was my fourth week on this schedule. In this new life in a new (old) town, getting to know new people, and a whole new routine.

It's starting to feel good.

I'm starting to feel that rhythm.

The first couple of weeks here were easy. I wasn't working, and all I did was decorate.

That was fun.

And easy.

Oh, I was taking care of all of Michael's personal care on my own, too. It wasn't bad.

We lost Princess. That was heartbreaking.

Then, I started the new job.

Flexing professional and mental muscles I haven't used in years.

Enter the Little Debbie cakes.

And pizza and Chinese food.

And little fights here and there between us because everything is new and stressful.

Then, I started working the new schedule (11pm to 8am).

Then, We released the eBook.

Enter the sleeping/not sleeping weird hours, and still never cooking, and exhaustion and guilt trips and wondering if we'd made a huge mistake leaving our comfortable life in DC.

Then, we found Belinda.

So, I no longer have to handle all of Michael's personal care.

I took a breath.

Blogged twice. Haha.

Still not spending the quiet time in the Word that I know I need.

But I did finally start grocery shopping, and cooking again.

I cleaned this entire house top to bottom, and got a greater appreciation for how much bigger it is than our apartment was. Phew!

And this week, I joined a gym. I haven't actually worked out yet.

But - maybe tomorrow. A.k.a. today. Who knows what day it is, like ever.

That's beside the point.

What I'm trying to say here is that we have been in survival mode.

I've tried a couple of times to kick things up a notch, but I've ended up right back in survival mode.

But, slowly - the rhythm is coming. I can feel it.

I'm adding things back into my life - one by one.

Friends, family, cooking, cleaning, working out, taking care of errands, hanging out with Brokaw.

This weekend, we're going to go to church!

I really do have so much to share with you.

I really do miss you.

This blog.

This community.

This part of my life.

I have more cool eBook giveaways to share with y'all. And lots of pictures of our new place, and just so much more. Thanks for waiting for me.

Review: 5 Days to a Clutter-Free House

2013-02-24T00:18:00.000-05:00

I don't know about all of you, but I would venture to say that most people like to live in a clean, clutter-free space. Am I right? Or am I right?

We just recently moved.
And moving will force you to de-clutter, and I will say that I am so glad!

Our place is more organized than ever. Most of that has to do with the fact that I had two weeks off after we moved, before I started my new job, so I actually had the TIME to put some good storage and organization systems in place. Also, it helps that we moved from an apartment to a house with a two car garage, so we increased our space, without really increasing the amount of stuff that we have, so that's a win-win.

I love organizing.
So, I jumped at the chance to review this book.

At first, I was intrigued. A clutter-free house in 5 days? Sounds pretty good. Then, when I started reading, I realized that the level of clutter-busting this book is talking about is a different level than I generally need.

I am like an anti-hoarder.
And I stay pretty organized.

The 5 day strategy is really for anyone who has a LOT of stuff, and doesn't have a place for everything. I don't mean to make myself sound super clean and organized, I'm certainly not perfect, and I still like to have some notice when guests are coming over, but we generally don't have non-clear surfaces.

BUT, if you do have a mess and too much stuff on your hands, this book will definitely help you get a grip, and bust through that clutter. The basic ideas are to get a team together, get some boxes, and go through your home level-by-level, and pack the clutter up. Then, box-by-box, unpack the items and make sure they go to their own place.

Remember, I said there's nothing like moving to force you to organize? This strategy is kind of like moving, but not moving.

I did learn some great tips and tricks for staying on top of things, though.
I love the ideas of timing yourself to see how much you can get done, like the idea of the "ten minute tidy."

I would definitely recommend this book if you are in over your head in clutter. If your house already looks like a copy of Real Simple Magazine, or you generally have good systems in place, you can still learn from the tips and tricks to keep your house that way.

The other cool thing about this book even for those of us who are pretty organized already, is it can help us understand how to tackle a MAJOR de-cluttering job. This is great, because I'd love to help friends who want to do some organizing, and it's good to read about a strategy for tackling a big project, that works.

You can check out 5 Days to a Clutter-Free House for more information.

Full disclosure: I was given a copy of this book in order to review it.

GIVEAWAY: She Knew That She Was Blessed and Highly Favored

2013-02-22T07:43:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited to announce this next GIVEAWAY, in celebration of the eBook, "We Are: A Caregiving Manifesto."

This is a little sign that will bring a smile to your face, and hopefully some encouragement to your heart.

I got this little 5x5 sign in my gift bag at the Allume Social Conference last October. I immediately fell in love with it! I don't know about you, but I constantly need to be reminded that I am blessed and highly favored, and that the God of all is on MY side and loves me!

The sign, produced by Red Letter Words (click on the link for complete details) inspired me to do a cubicle makeover at my old job before I left DC:

And then, after we moved, it was the inspiration piece for my little home office!

I know you will love it.

Here's how you can enter the giveaway: Purchase the eBook! You can go to the website Michael built for the book, and if you have a Kindle or a smartphone or a tablet with a Kindle app, you can buy it through the Amazon link. If you don't, and you'd like to read it on your computer, or print it out, you can buy it as a PDF.

Once you do that, just forward me your receipt to: danabrownritter@gmail.com.
Put the title of the giveaway in the subject line of the e-mail.
If you've already bought the book, and want to enter the giveaway, that's totally cool!

I will use random.org to choose a winner, and I will announce the winner on Sunday, February 24th! (in the evening) You have until 8:00am Sunday to enter.
Let me know if you have any questions. I'd really appreciate it if you spread the love on this giveaway, and help us get the word out about the eBook!

Love Like This Life

Nature Walks with our Puggle

Joni and Ken: An Untold Love Story (Review & GIVEAWAY)

What It's Like to be on a Reality Show

Saturday Morning Post

Our Episode Airs Tonight!

I Wish I Had More Time

The Day We Shopped Until He Dropped

I'm Married To A... Quadriplegic

Color Vibe 5K, Who's In?

On Taking Out The Trash

Seven Years of Turkey Legs

Giveaway: Thirty One Large Utility Tote

Cherry Blossoms in our own Neighborhood

Goodbye, Vacation

This Is Not Okay

Grieving the Loss of our Wounded Warrior

On Intimacy, And Being Married to Your Best Friend

Chocolate Cream 3.14

Crazy Dreams And Waking Up Screaming

The Power of Simple Words

On Going Back to *THE* Church

Survival Mode And Finding Rhythm

Review: 5 Days to a Clutter-Free House

GIVEAWAY: She Knew That She Was Blessed and Highly Favored

On Going Back to THE Church