::::Lovellia's World::::

I want a break ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 01:36:00 +0000

♥ Love is red ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 08:21:00 +0000

On April 10th, 2011, for the first time in my life I received a beautiful red rose, and it was from the man that I truly love. My last year's love confession turned out well even though I was rejected at first. Yes I was sort of rejected, but I never regret it, we're happily in love now. (✿◠‿◠) So ladies, don't be afraid to confess your feelings to the person you love. But remember, never force people to love you and good things do happen to those who wait!

☆ My 10 Favorite iPhone Applications ☆

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 04:07:00 +0000

2 Jan 2011: Happy 2011! (◕‿◕✿) New year, new phone. Many people have been using iPhone, while I just got mine on Dec 5th last year? Wow 2010 has gone. I'm not really into gadgets, so I don't really care about not being updated with the latest technology. My reason of having iPhone is simply because I want an easy modern organizer for 2011. I love writing but I'm very fussy with handwriting. I tend to tear my diary, book, etc. if I'm not satisfied with my handwriting even though many people claimed that I have nice and neat handwriting. I have my mom's gene. She does the same thing. Is this a sickness? (¬_¬) Now that I have my iPhone 4, I don't have to write, just type! Haa~ (╯▽╰)

Let me introduce... Viona, my sexy phone. I have this habit of naming some of my favorite stuff. (●*∩_∩*●)

I know I know I'm far behind with this iPhone thing, but I still wanna share this. Below are my top 10 favorite iPhone applications that I find so useful for organizing my life in this new year 2011. And best of all they are FREE.

#1 Your Life Clock: I salute the creator of this app. It has everything that I need in an organizer - calendar/planner, event scheduler, activity tracker, goal setting system and journal. You can add photos in it, record the time and money you spend on an activity, and view your life activity reports. You can give a passcode lock too, so that no one can easily access into your private life. Great isn't it! For more details, check yourlifeclock.com. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 2 My Secret Diary: This one is lovely, pinky and girly. It has a password lock too. I can add cute emoticons, photos and insert music in it. And it is so easy to use. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 3 Make It Count: Another cute application that helps you track your money. I love this. It looks childish, but no, this one is good for tracking your finance and your spending habit. That's why I put this as my # 3 favorite. Only one problem, it is not password protected. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 4 Target Weight: I love this one, your weight tracker with a passcode lock. It motivates me in my goal to lose weight this year! You can check your BMI through this app. I was overweight before, after dieting and working out, my BMI now is normal. Yokatta! But I've gained few kilos and I haven't achieved my target goal. So this thing is just perfect for me. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 5 43 Things: An easy-to-use 'things to do' app. I love everything about this app except that it works only when internet connection is available. Otherwise this will be my # 3 favorite. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 6 Period Plus: A neat menstrual tracker for girls of course. It helps you track breast tenderness level, cramp intensity, cycle day, intimacy, notes and period flow. It can even predict your periods, fertile days and ovulation dates. Plus it is password protected. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 7 Shop Shop: A simple shopping list that I use for shopping nowadays. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 8 Expenses - Ya Hong Dai: This app lets you keep a track of your expenses daily. You can categorize your expenses type, e.g. food, debt, etc. You can also write a note for each of your expenses in detail. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 9 Mobile Diary: This app is a unique mix of calendar, task list and journal. It is password protected and allows you to work offline. It also alerts you when you are not running the app to reminders for events and tasks. Click on the image for a larger view.

# 10 Shopping Calculator +: Very convenient during sales ladies! An app that let you calculate items price after discount. I find this quite handy when shopping during sales. Click on the image for a larger view.

There you go. My life now is in my hand. That's why I love my Viona, I mean my iPhone 4. Happy new year and let's plan our life carefully. (◕‿-)

˙·٠•●♥ Secret Love ♥●•٠·˙

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 09:32:00 +0000

When you love me
She can never know it
When you're with me
They can never know it
I want to declare to the world
You're the man that I love
But I can never say it
As this is our beautiful dark secret

Loving you
I put my heart in danger
Now that I love you more than ever
I might cry and die
If this love is over

When you whispered "I love you"
You didn't seem to fake it
Are your feelings for me true?
Not blinded by the emptiness deep within you?

How could I not feel jealous
When she's the one with the "girlfriend" status
If I ask you this
Between me and her
Who do you love more?
You can never give me the answer
But here's my answer
Between me and her
I'm the one who loves you more

My love is true
My love is only you
But you can never love me the way that I do
I'm just your secret lover
And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you

For loving me I thank you
The love you gave me
Nothing else can save me
But what happen when you stop loving me?

- Lovellia
17th November 2010

Lovellia's Motivation To Lose Weight ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 12:58:00 +0000

15th September 2010: Losing my first ex-boyfriend had resulted in me losing some pounds. I looked slim alright thanks to him. However, my second love failure had a big impact on me. The day I lost him was the day I lost myself. I turned to food for comfort and started eating like a pig and eventually I got BIG. I gained 10kg! I had been damaging myself for so long. I know well that I shouldn't let love get over me. What's the point of brooding over my unlucky love life? If it hurts so much, then rise up! My ultimate revenge is to live better, FAR BETTER than the people who have hurt me. I will fight for my happiness. I want to live in the present. Now I have no interests in the past.

So my revenge starts with improving my self-appearance. To fight, I need to have a good and healthy body. Hahaha!

Last July I was 56.7kg (overweight). And today I am 51.6kg (normal but not my ideal weight). I've lost 5.1kg! I'm so thrilled. I'm happy that this year's Raya I made some people surprised with my looks. Even before Raya, someone said that I looked skinny. Wow I've never been labeled 'skinny' for as long as I lived. Everyone around me doesn't see me as skinny except him. Lol. Thank you, I took that as a compliment; his words are the proof of me losing some kilos. But seriously, I'm not skinny. I know how skinny looks like. These are how I motivate myself to lose weight:

1) Write a diary or go blogging, just like what I'm doing right now. Record your thoughts and feelings to stay connected and in touch with your goals. These are what I write in my beauty diary: what I really want in my life, my goals, my weight, my meals, my activities, my condition, my feelings and anything related to my losing weight mission. It's useful to have a planner in it as well; it will help you in your planning and goals setting, e.g. if I have a date, I will plan ahead what to wear and set my goal - for instance, 3 days or a week before the actual day I must work hard to lose more pounds, so that I will look great on that day.

2) When cravings for unhealthy snacks occur, I would ask myself, "What do you want? Eat this donut or look like a donut?" Lol. This would stop me from taking bad carbs, but very often I lost to food though. Lol. It's okay to spoil your diet for a day or once in a while; this will reduce dangerous cravings.

3) Think of the people who told you that you're already fat 3 times a day or more. It will piss you off that you want to show them that you can look better than them! I had someone who had embarrassed me by saying I'm fat in front of other people (including men). One day I promise I will make her say otherwise and throw those words back to her face. In fact, she's fatter than me.

4) Be in love. They say a girl in love often looks pretty. I guess that's true sometimes. Lol. You will put efforts to look at your best to impress the person that you love. The power of love is amazing. The night I found my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me, I didn't sleep at all and when morning came, I was running in place in my room for 1 hour without stopping. This is a story of a love fool. Lol. But now I have my eyes on one guy. Honestly, he's my biggest motivator.

5) Have a bet or compete with someone. I was competing with him before Ramadhan - the one who loses more weight within a certain period wins. Of course I won, because I hate losing. The reward was a special sungkai treat and I, the winner got to pick the place to eat. But that reward made me gained 1kg overnight. Hahaha. So don't use food as a reward.

6) To encourage yourself, buy things that can help you lose weight. You don't have to spend so much though. Like in a battlefield, if you have weapons with you, you will feel more confident to fight. Below are some of my "weapons" that I use in my losing weight mission. Not just weapons, you need strategies too. So gather info about losing weight and note down. The best place to collect this info is the internet. When you are equipped with weapons and strategies in mind, you will be more ready to fight!

7) I have this habit of working out in front of the mirror. When I see myself in that mirror, I will start thinking and aiming for something. Plus, when your body has improved, you will be motivated not to quit in the middle of a painful workout when seeing your sexy-self in the mirror. And music is a must when I'm exercising. Pick music that makes you want to move your body and dance. Burn your own music CD.

8) Pressure yourself. This year is the first time that I didn't make baju Raya. I want to pressure myself; if I don't lose weight, I won't have nice baju to wear for this Raya. Alhamdulillah, I managed to fit in my previous baju Raya and looked okay even though it looked a bit tight on me. So I need to lose few more kilos.

9) Have your goal posted somewhere you can see. I often write my goal on my small whiteboard. I sometimes write his name on it too. Hahaha. I know love makes me do funny stuff. When I feel pain or feel like quitting during my workout, I will look at that whiteboard. When I'm in a good mood, I will write the name of my love. The flame of love helps me burn more calories. Lol. When I'm in a bad mood, I will write the name of the people that I hate or have hurt me. Then I will get fired up and push myself to my limit.

10) Play dressfitting. It's fun! I can spend hours and hours doing this in front of the mirror. It's more fun if you play designer too; you may want to pick accesories, shoes, a belt or a scarf to match your clothes. Be creative. You will be more motivated to lose weight when you see yourself looking better with the clothes that you wear.

11) Role-playing. Use your imagination. This is fun too. Make yourself believe that you're a model or a celebrity for a day or up to you how long you want to play glamorous. Wear elegant and stylish clothes, have your hair and nails done and go on a strict diet. Or imagine those unhealthy foods as poisons that will kill you. You don't wanna die looking fat right? Lol. I sometimes imagine myself as a vegetarian. Once, my mom asked me, "Aren't you gonna eat that chicken?". I replied, "Have you forgotten that I'm a vegetarian?" Hahaha. Acting is fun.

12) Take note on compliments from people. Whenever I got praised, I would write it in my diary. I even counted the number of compliments that I received. There was this one time when I entered my class, I could have sworn my student said "Teacher kurus (Teacher looks slim)." I even noted that down. Lol. He could have said that out loud again, I might have given him extra marks on the exam paper. Hahaha. During Raya, a guest told me that I looked beautiful and was persistent to tell me that before she left. There was also an unknown guy who said, "Sexy" behind my back. Don't hate me for feeling flattered. Hating me won't make you sexy. ;D When people praise you, appreciate it and record it in your head or in your diary. Why? All these compliments will help you to move on when you feel down or feel like giving up.

I haven't achieved my ultimate goal yet. If I succeed, I will get a once in a life time reward. I will tell you what that is when that day comes. ;) To be continued. ♥

Bleeding Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 02:34:00 +0000

29th August 2010: I'ts raining outside and I'm crying inside. My heart is like the weather now, dark and cold. Just words, even in silence, could turn into blades that pierced into my heart. Ya Allah, help me rip out this pain from my chest. When I'm in love, I'm in trouble, because my heart is not too smart. I know what I should do, I'm a wise girl, I am, but my stupid stubborn heart often refuses to act. It's pouring outside now, so as my tears.

What do I want, really? What matters the most to me now... is for me to be happy or for him to be happy? Then I realized the selfishness in me. If I truly love him, I should just be happy with his happiness right now. He is... my happiness. If he's happy, then I should be too.

Ya Allah, kuatkanlah hatiku di bulan yang mulia ini. Jadikanlah aku hamba yang lebih mencintaiMu daripada mencintai nikmat dunia. Please forgive me.

My ♥ Confession

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 06:50:00 +0000

28th August 2010: One of the hardest thing in my life was my first ever love confession to a man. I finally bared everything that I have been hiding inside my heart for quite long. I'm glad I've told him how I feel for him. I might get turned down, but at least a burden has been taken off my chest. All the words have been said, and now I have no regrets. If he's really the one for me, he'll come to me no matter what. And if he's not the one, have some faith and wait patiently. Sometimes to love means to let go. But I won't let go just yet, NOT without trying. I'll be waiting for you. ~♥

Shhh... Don't say the words ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 11:24:00 +0000

9th August 2010: When I love a man, I will only be looking at him, only him. I've tried not too, I did, but I can't fool myself. It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does. I was near you, yet I felt so far away. You kept pressing at my greatest weakness. Please stop being so nice to me. Everytime you did what you did, I held out a bit of hope. If you keep doing that, then I will really get my hopes up. If only I can read your mind, I'm too curious to find out why you were doing things that would only make me love you more and hate myself more. If I fall deeper, I will get hurt so badly... if you don't catch me.

I didn't know that loving someone can be this exhausting. Love is draining my energy. I've been spending my time thinking about you. I can't even sleep well at night. And I'm getting so ugly now. It's so dangerous to pin your life's hope and dreams on one man. I'm a love fool.

Just a few days ago, I felt a surge of courage to confess my feelings for you. But now I'm being wishy-washy all over again. I've changed my mind. I want to know you better first and see if you are worth my love. I shouldn't rush, because true love waits.

♥ I'm all messed up because of you. ♥

Give me 14 days

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 10:14:00 +0000

5th August 2010: Sometimes I wish I have never met you, because then I could wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night not knowing there is someone like you out there. But it's too late now, you've already conquered my mind. Before you conquer my heart completely, I want to steal yours first. After 14 days... I would confess.

♥ Addicted to YOU ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 06:17:00 +0000

23rd July 2010: The name is Lovellia because I love talking about LOVE. I express myself better through writing than conversing with people. I'm glad to have this blog. If I keep everything inside me, I might burst, and things that are better to be kept silent might be revealed.

While we are indeed the masters of our minds, we do not always feel in control of our emotions. I guess I didn't conceal my feelings properly. It's hard to pretend not to like someone when you really do. I wish my heart only wants to admire, not to desire. Sometimes I questioned myself, do I really love him or am I addicted to the pain of wanting something I can't have? We often get attracted to something forbidden, just like sins. Sins are not hurtful because they are forbidden, they are forbidden because in the end they are hurtful. It's tearing me up on the inside to have these feelings for him. Shall I keep my love as a secret, or shall I expose my true feelings and then might regret? The 3 words "I love you" have my life in it; I could die if they are not returned to me.

My Resolve!

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 10:27:00 +0000

5th July 2010: I hate my feelings. Lately it's been bugging me day and night. I'm trapped in between my desire and fear. Before he tickles my heart further, before he makes me misunderstand with his words and actions, before I get my hopes high, I better stop expecting something which is not going to happen. If this continues, my heart will explode. He is... out of my reach, someone whom I shouldn't have fallen in love with. I don't think he sees me as a woman. To him, I maybe just a sister and a friend. It hurts me, but not as painful as breaking up and not to the extent of making me cry. Sometimes love can be magic, but magic can sometimes be just a trick or an illusion. So wake up girl!

I'm single and I'm free to love anyone. Falling in love is not a sin. And it's impossible for me to erase these feelings according to my will, because my heart just won't listen. So in this game of love, I want to play it safe. I will love whoever I want but I won't get serious, and most importantly I won't involve myself in a relationship, not until I find my IDEAL man, my true soul mate. I still like that person. This feelings of mine, I should just keep it to myself. I won't get so close to him. I won't let him be far away from me either. I want him to feel my heart but I won't let him have it. This is my way of loving him. This is my resolve! ♥

Men's VIRGINITY

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 10:13:00 +0000

3rd July 2010: The V topic is back. I know it's a hot issue. Up to this day, people came by to my blog because they googled on the internet for anything related to virginity and accidentally found my website. Right? In my previous post 'VIRGINITY Check', I mentioned an obvious way to find out if a girl is still a virgin or not. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to identify a man's virginity. Lucky them. We have to take the man's words for it, but... can you trust them? Men are prone to lying due to 2 main reasons: 1) they have a false sense of ego 2) fear of the consequences of telling the truth. That's why some bastards cheat. Okay I know, women also lie. You don't have to feel offended now.

Today I discovered 2 ways of checking a man's virginity:

1) You might have come across Yahoo! Answers? Someone said that a man is a virgin if the skin covering the head of his pen** can be pulled back without pain or without stopping. But who's gonna do that?! HAHAHAHA!

2) Did you guys (Bruneians) read today's Saturday, 3rd July 2010 Borneo Bulletin? Check for 'Virginity Test Helps Free 3 In Vietnam Rape Case' or click here. A traditional medicine practitioner, Pham Thi Hong claimed that a male virgin should have small red spots at the back of their ears. So girls, go and get your boyfriend now and check their ears. Lol. I checked my brother's ears but I didn't really sure what I was doing and of course my brother didn't have any ideas what his sister's intention was. Hahaha sorry bro. If he knew, do you think he would let me do that? Lol.

*I'M NOT SURE HOW TO DO THE ABOVE WAYS OF CHECKING MALES' VIRGINITY AND I'M NOT CERTAIN WITH THEIR VALIDITY EITHER. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN AND THE CONTINUATION OF MY PREVIOUS POST.*

Unrequited Love

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 09:26:00 +0000

23rd June 2010: I've never been so infatuated with someone who I barely knew until that day. It wasn't love at first sight. It just happened. My feelings for him are ridiculous. Ever since then, coincidental contacts and things that made me relate to him occurred around me. It was almost like I was being given a chance to get to know him more. Fate seems to play a fool on me.

Knowing the fact that he's still with his girlfriend stung me a little. Whatever he says and does can end up sending me to Heaven or Hell. It's funny how he could make me feel so happy and fluttery one minute, then back to make me feel like a love fool again. When I'm in love, I'm in trouble. I don't want to be washed down in feelings easily. He seems like a nice person, but my intuition tells me that he's not that innocent. We don't always see what we think we see. I've learned my lesson. And that girl, he even thought of marrying her. I won't stand a chance against a 2 years relationship. Besides, I'm just a "relative". So from this moment, this unexplainable stupid feelings of mine, I will suppress it. After all, love is a burden.

Jiwang Mode ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 17:02:00 +0000

14th June 2010: When June comes, I would remember. I never celebrate my birthday with the person that I love, because breakups always happened in June. That night I cried my heart out for the first time in a long while.

Love has changed me. I became ignorant and lazy. I turned to food for comfort and ate like a pig. I often nagged at my students and complained over trivial matters. Watching Korean dramas has become my hobby. I became emotional when watching sad love stories, especially when the girl is being cheated by his stupid boyfriend. Facebook is my home page and I love writing and changing my maybe-annoying status. I hate looking at Harry Potter because he looks quite like him. I didn't show any interests in men who were flirting with me, even if he looks like Robert Pattinson (oh really? lol). Thanks to him, he made me feeling crushed, unhappy and uncool. Ever since then, I had decided not to let my pulse race over anyone again. To protect myself from being hurt, I might deliberately become self-centered. It's a lonely vicious cycle. Trapped in the shadow of my past. Pathetic.

But that guy, made me smiled, blushed and acted awkwardly. Yesterday I stole glances at him. That gentle expression is enough to make my heart skipped a beat. It wasn't like it was my first time seeing him. But only now I have this weird feelings. Well just a little. STOP! I will not be swayed because of some guy. I'm happy with my life now, so don't screw it. Dear God, on June 20th, I want to be reborn as a new person. So allow me to say goodbye to my past, what I want to win back is my heart's freedom.

SUICIDE

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:20:00 +0000

7th April 2010: Among all of the things in this world, I hate eczema the most, the worst pain in my life that NO ONE can understand except those who are suffering from it. There were people who killed themselves because of eczema trauma. I know how they felt. I know. If I wanna go for a suicide, I must first list down my reasons to die: 1) Eczema is making me unsightly, hurting my self-esteem and ruining my happiness. 2) I was betrayed by the man that I really loved and trusted? No, I never have the will to kill myself because of love. Rather than killing myself, I better kill him. 3) Work stress? I won't go to the point of killing myself. Escape from school but heading to Hell? No way. As much as I hate my job, in the worst case scenario, I would probably just quit and get a better job. 4) The whole world was telling me that I'm already fat? I'm not that fat though, but bigger than I was before. Shall I kill myself by starving myself to death? Stupid reason to die. It's not like the end of the world or something, at least my kawaii Year 2 students still think that I'm beautiful and not fat. Lol. So I only have 1 reason to die - kill myself to kill eczema. But when I started writing down what I want to do in my life, the ideas just kept coming and I got a long list. Then I realized that there may be one or few reasons to die, but there are always so many reasons to live. So many that my brain is completely exhausted and makes me feel so sleepy. Good night.

Suicide is the best form of self criticism

Too Young To Be My Boyfriend

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 00:42:00 +0000

I think normally girls would seek for men that are older than them, because it looks better that way. We want our man to be someone that can love and protect us, our hero, someone that we can rely on and able to guide us, like a leader in a family, and NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. Well something like that. But somehow I fell in love with younger men. My first ex-boyfriend was a year younger than me, the next one was 2 years younger and the third one hasn't showed up yet. If he's 3 years younger than me, somebody better smack my head hard. In my case, the age gap between me and my ex-boyfriends was not that obvious and often people thought that I looked younger than them. Even so, I was still bothered by how my friends would judge my relationships back then. After got dumped twice, I might have become a subject of criticism and ridicule for falling in love with younger men who still want to "play" and "enjoy". I think women mature faster than men in terms of mental and emotional. I'm not implying that this applies to all people. Getting older doesn't mean one will become mature; some people don't act like their age. Right now I am being judgmental over age gap in relationships even though I know well that age is not the only factor that affects relationships. I know few couples that are still together for so long despite of the age differences. So it's not just about the age. Love is complicated, no one can really define the meaning of love, sometimes it's beyond our imagination and logic. But based on my experiences, NEVER again will I be serious with a man who is younger than me, even if he's only a minute younger than me, NO WAY I'm going to accept his love unless God's will. AGE DOES MATTER TO ME NOW. I don't want history to repeat itself. So this time I want to do things differently, and maybe only then I will get different results. I'm firm with my decision now, I would prefer my man to be older than me by 5 years or more. If that's tough, a year, not less than 12 months difference is also okay. I shouldn't be too greedy or I'll be punished.

I would really recommend people to watch this 2010 Korean drama, 'The Woman Who Still Wants To Marry' or 'Still, Marry Me' or 'City Lovers'. The story is so interesting especially about age gap issue in relationships. It's like 'Desperate Housewives' but in this drama the women are desperate to get married. It will make you think about love and age.

'Still, Marry Me' is INTERESTING and FUNNY. The only thing that will make you regret watching this is being addicted to it, like I am. Lol. Please watch this, especially you women who haven't married.

Here's a fan-made music video of love scenes between Ha Min Jae who fell in love with Lee Shin Young who is 10 years older than him. In this drama Kim Bum is so cute, romantic and hard to resist! I love the part when he colored his hair gray just to prove to the girl that he loves that age doesn't matter. He looks sexy with his silver hair. Even I might fall for him. Haha. Click here to watch this drama.

Dramas In Life

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:54:00 +0000

My Top 5 Favorite NEW Drama Series:

1) YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL (Korean) - Genre: Comedy, Romance. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Awful days will turn BEAUTIFUL. My synopsis: A nun who has to fake as a male artist to join the most popular idol group in Korea - A.N.Jell. Click here to watch this drama.

2) HI, MY SWEETHEART / SHANGHAI SWEETHEART (Taiwanese) - Genre: Comedy, Romance. You will be laughing your ass off watching this comical drama. I really love it! My synopsis: A nerdy-looking guy wants to take revenge on his ex-girlfriend by changing his looks and attitude. Click here to watch this drama.

3) THE GREAT QUEEN SEON DUK (Korean) - Genre: Period (Historical), Action, Romance. For me this is the BEST Korean historical drama I've ever watched and it's one of the high-budget dramas. Truly inspiring! My synopsis: From nothing, she becomes a king and the first female king of Korea to rule Shilla. Click here to watch this drama.

4) SAMURAI HIGH SCHOOL (Japanese) - Genre: Comedy, Action. I often find J-dramas dull and boring, but this one is really GOOD! My synopsis: A high school boy is being possessed by a Samurai spirit whenever he gets into trouble. Click here to watch this drama.

5) THE WOMAN WHO STILL WANTS TO MARRY / STILL, MARRY ME (Korean) - Genre: Romance, Drama, Comedy. Interesting drama. Women will love this. My synopsis: 3 women are on a mission to find their perfect match in order to get married before they're getting really old. This one is still ongoing. Click here to watch this drama.

^^ My Dark Little Secret ^^

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 07:07:00 +0000

3 days break I decided to tidy up my room a bit. That was when I stumbled across a heart-shaped pendant in a box that reminded me of my foolish act in the past. After being betrayed by the person that I truly loved, my heart was wrapped up tightly with animosity and poison, and I thought only of the man that I wanted to feel my revenge. I was washed down in my negative emotion so deep to the point of committing something that is totally misguided. I played a magic spell. It was not death, physical pain, misfortune or anything like that. It was a love spell to make that stupid 4-eyes bastard crawling back to me. Don't get me wrong, I was not desperate for his love, I just wanted to torture his heart after making all messed up. I searched for magic spells on the internet and found a trusted one. If I put all my heart into it, I believe the spell works but it's a vicious craft. It goes something like "With the light of the flame, I will light your desire. When I speak your name, you will feel my fire." This sort of verbal or written magic formula is almost similar to the Malay's, except that the words are in English. I've heard some Malay "petua" (or whatever they call them) from the Kampong Ayer people before, they use words that are sometimes rhyme, like chants. I assumed that those words are actually kind of "spells", Malay spells and they do work. So that night while I was doing my stupid magic stuff in the dark, there were thunderstorms (I'm serious). Perhaps it was a warning sign telling me that what I was doing is irreligious and sinful. I did finish casting the spell but it made me feel unease, so I changed my mind and messed it up. I didn't continue the ritual which should be done for several nights in order to make it effective. I knew well that what I did was immoral. Who would have thought someone like me would do such an evil thing. And it was my first time. I couldn't believe I did that when I, myself, is an anti of people who destroy other people with black magic, membuat-buat orang and the like. Even though my intention was not that cruel, what I did was absolutely wrong. What the heck was I thinking. Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. Love can make people do things, either good things or bad things.

I think about a week after that, my ex-boyfriend sent me SMS asking me how I was doing and dealing with the breakup, sounded to me like a slight guilt for hurting me. What surprised me, he told me that he got into a car accident and he said maybe he was ketulahan. Karma? His car was in a bad shape but luckily he was okay. Not only that, after a long while of not communicating with each other, unexpectedly he contacted me early this year. He still remembered my phone number that had been erased from his phone? Was he thinking of me? I could have sworn he said he missed me but when I asked him again, he said, "Indalah, entah ah." He was like a little confused with his feelings at that time. Also, he seemed to have a fight with his girlfriend and he even admitted that I was nicer than her. Victory for me. Sorry but I couldn't help feeling a bit happy with his misery. The same thing happened to my old ex-boyfriend too a long time ago. So now I truly believe that whatever we do will get back to us. I swear that I won't commit such sin again because Allah maha adil and karma does exist. I told to myself, just think like this, "Any men who break my heart will get cursed". Well they did get cursed. The reason why I'm revealing this shameful wicked secret of mine here is to remind people that taking revenge is completely absurd, because what goes around surely comes around. If I take my revenge, that grudge might hit me back one day. I admit that my action was very stupid and low. I'm glad that I didn't go too far. Never let your anger and hatred distort your judgment, otherwise you will make a devil out of yourself. Another thing is it's wasting your energy and money. That heart-shaped pendant alone cost me $15 and I've never even worn it because it reminds me of my foolishness and the locket has an evil aura inside it hahaha. The best revenge is to live better than your enemies. Live far better than the people you despise.

This cartoon describes how I felt back then. Lol. I was out of my mind and did the stupidiest thing in my life. Shame on me.

미남이시네요 (You're Beautiful/Handsome)

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 06:45:00 +0000

When I'm too thrilled, this is where I express my excitement. I've been a fan of Korean dramas, but this is my first time loving a drama like a freak. I feel like I wanna tell everyone, "Go and watch You're Beautiful, you're gonna love it!". Hahaha I'm super addicted to it! This drama was first broadcasted on 7th October 2009 and is still airing until November 2009 on SBS channel every Wednesday and Thursday. 미남이시네요 (YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL) is HILARIOUS, COOL, EXCITING, CRAZY and BEAUTIFUL. Even my mom is addicted to it. Lol. Imagine a young, innocent and naive nun's joining a super popular MALE band and becoming a cool star looking like a GUY! Interesting isn't it? The group's name is A.N.Jell comprising of 3 good-looking angels - the sexy and cool TK, the sweet and romantic Shin Woo, and the cheeky and adorable Jeremy. Go Mi Nam (the nun's twin brother) was supposed to be joining them as the 4th member, but due to a little embarrassing accident on his eyes, he has to undergo plastic surgery in America for about 1 month without being discovered by the media. So Go Min Nyu has to cover for her brother, impersonating as Go Mi Nam, in search of their mother whom they believe a star too. Then the real excitement begins...

They're real singers but not this girl below, yet she sings like an angel!

Park Shin Hye as Go Mi Nyu (also Go Mi Nam)

Funny faces of arrogant TK eating lime =D

Dwae ji tokki (pig-rabbit) can make one go crazy hahaha!

You can watch this at

http://www.viikii.net/channels/goto/beautiful
OR
http://www.watchfreedrama.com/channel/korean/you-are-beautiful/

I think this is the best Korean drama in 2009, currently the biggest hit online, and its popularity seems increasing everyday. If you love Boys Before Flowers, you're gonna love this one MORE! This drama is like a medicine to me. I take it twice a week, every Thursday and Friday @ Viikii. If I stop taking my medicine, I'll go crazy. HAHAHA!

You're Beautiful has finally ended. I am so sad. I really desperately wish that there will be season 2. Jang Geun-seok (TK), Park Shin-hye (Mi Nyu a.k.a Mi Nam), Jung Yong-hwa (Shin Woo) and Lee Hong-ki (Jeremy), FIGHTING! SARANGHAEYO!

I will support YAB & A.N.Jell forever!

.......................................

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 06:57:00 +0000

This morning I finally got a very honest answer from him for leaving me clueless and empty. People might think that there must be something wrong with her, that's why she got dumped all the time. Oh what the hell, people often pass careless judgments about something that they don't know. Only God, me and him know our love story.

I cried again this morning and went to get my Nikon Coolpix L4 digital camera. I am like this poor thing, being abandoned by its owner because the red Kodak M340 is much more attractive and does a better job. I was so in love with my Nikon camera when I first got it. All my pictures here were beautifully taken by it. How could I not appreciate that. When I've bought the new Kodak, I gave my old Nikon to my dad and said that I don't like it anymore. I cried with this camera in my hands. I know I sound silly, but that's how I've been treated by the men that I loved, that's how it always been.

Scared to be hurt by love, I kept my heart hidden. Yet it was stolen. And in the end it was thrown away and broken. My heart's been torn apart. I lost myself the day I lost him. Yes, I've given up on love. The truth is cruel sometimes. Some things are better left unspoken and unknown. My curiosity has killed the other half of me, a part of me that cherishes love, able to give and take, and forgive. What's going to happen next? I'm starting to get scared of myself and what I might do. Only God knows what's running in my head and inside of me. Ya Allah, anyone or anything, please save me from me. Tasukete. Onegaishimasu!

VIRGINITY Check

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 01:54:00 +0000

I had a chat with a guy. Our casual conversation suddenly turned into a little debate when we talked about virginity. As usual, it's a HAWT topic. Lol. It hurts my feminism knowing the fact that some men (Muslims) demand a virgin for a wife when they themselves are not even virgins! Some of you, especially people with negative minds might think that I'm not a virgin for being offended by this stateMENt. Mind you this, WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT ALWAYS WHAT YOU GET. So I asked this guy why do most men expect their partner to be a virgin when they themselves had sex with other women? It's unfair for the females right? The answer that I got from him sounds something like this, "I don't know, maybe if a guy did it, nothing really changed, but for a girl, physically, that "thing" was spoiled". If I have a magic, I will curse this man into a woman, so that he will know how it feels to wear a Kotex pad and bleed, having PMS, how hurt it is to make love for the first time and how painful it is to give birth. Hahahaha!

After being cheated by men twice, my expectations of a man right now are quite high. I WANT A VIRGIN MAN. Hahahahaha! I have 3 reasons: 1) I'm a virgin myself, I deserve a best treat as well. No one touch my man except me. Hahaha. 2) If a guy had done it, he tends to do it again because sex is addictive, so if I can't satisfy his sexual desires because I don't want sex before married, there's a possibility that I will be cheated again. 3) Like some men said, I said SOME, "Siapakan mau bakas-bakasan". Hey men, a girl like me pun inda mau lelaki yang bakas-bakasan. Mihir. Geli aku. Hehe. But then, it makes me think, how can I tell if that man is a virgin or not??? For a girl, if her hymen is intact, she's a virgin. A hymen is a fold of mucous membrane which surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. A slang term for hymen is "cherry", as in "popping one's cherry" to mean losing one's virginity (definition taken from Wikipedia). Notice the word 'HYMEN' - the vagina is like saying "HI MEN". Hahaha! It just came to my head. Remember my previous post, ever notice how all of women's problems relate to men? MENstrual cramps, MENtal illness, MENtal breakdown, MENopause, GUYnecologist and HISterectomy. Hahahaha. Back to hymen, if her hymen is not intact, she could still a virgin, because some women's hymens break without sexual intercourse and just with ordinary activities such as stretching, bicycling or dancing. *This worries me.* For a guy, there are no physical ways to tell, you have to take his word for it. Sigh. I wish there are ways to find out whether he's a virgin or not. BUT this is what I think, it doesn't matter if you have hymen or not, or broken by whatever it is, accidentally or unconsciously, virginity is a matter of whether you've had sex or not! If you never do it, even if your hymen was broken, you're a virgin. If you ever did it, but your hymen is still "safe" (probably lucky), still, you're not a virgin anymore. Don't lie to yourself and your partner. Be true, be you. ANY IDEAS HOW TO CHECK A MAN'S VIRGINITY WITHOUT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE??? Lol.

♥ ERASE and REWIND ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:29:00 +0000

Officially broke up with him on the 25th June 2009

Life never turns out the way we expect. We can only plan but God decides everything. I've been thinking about my love failures everyday, rewinding the memories and playing them back in my head, trying to spot any flaws in my previous relationships. Being loved by him was like a dream, but nothing lasts forever. Was it my fault that all this happened to me? Am I a bad girlfriend, or perhaps I just met the wrong men? Or maybe it's the Fate that plays a fool on us and we are not meant to be together. I really thought that he was the one, my judgment was wrong. It's almost as if a layer of film has been peeled off my eyes. The world before me has become a lot clearer. It's scary out there. As long as we still have our hearts inside of us, we are susceptible to get hurt. The hottest love may have the coldest end. If I say I don't love him anymore, I'm lying. When love and hate collide, it's difficult for the heart to decide. It's like my mind knows what's right but my heart is being retarded and still cares. I do still love him, but not as much as I loved him a long time ago. It feels unfair that he seems to move on so fast, while I, still stuck in my past. I cried everyday when I knew I lost him, afraid that I had lost it all. Then I realized, losing him didn't mean I lost me. There's no point in brooding over my love misery, I would only make everyone worry about me. I kept telling myself nothing good would come out of it, which is why I've decided to STOP all of this. I will ERASE ALL the painful memories and keep the beautiful ones that were so dear to me. Even though he's not mine anymore, at least I had him. I don't regret falling in love with him because at one time, that was what I wanted and we were really in love, no doubt about it.

If I can, I will throw away my heart, that way I will never love again. It's better to be with no one than to be with the wrong one. But then again, the future is UNPREDICTABLE. I might fall in love and face another pain, again and again. That's LIFE, there will always be ups and downs. Sometimes we have to go through pains in order to be strong, just like putting braces on your teeth, it hurts like hell but when it's all over, you get nice-looking and strong teeth. Teeth? I couldn't come up with a better analogy hahaha. You get what I mean right? Lol.

Even though it really saddens me, amidst all this, there was an important lesson to be learnt; our love will not last forever, in fact nothing lasts forever, the only one that we can trust and save us in the end is Allah, the almighty. So love Allah is the most important. When I was in love, I forgot Allah too many times. Astaghfirullahalazim. Forgive me.

IF YOUR HEART IS BROKEN, CRY A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT! That's what I will do. I still remember a friend, G-mah, said to me a long time ago when I broke up with my first ex, "Puas-puas tah menangis, siuk tu. Hehe." She meant to say just cry with all your heart, let it all out and I will feel better after that. She was right. So I'm going to cry every night until I flood this whole Brunei with my tears, then DROWN him to death hahahahaha! Just kidding. I can never do that.

Yeah! FIGHT-ing! Ganbare ganbare!

My Updates ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:49:00 +0000

I want to thank those people who have responded on my posts regarding eczema. I appreciate all your concerns. Love you people. I was very self-conscious about my skin before. But syukur alhamdulillah, I'm feeling much better now even though I still have eczema on and off. But that's okay, I'll find ways to get rid of it for good! And now Lovellia is back to pose in front of the camera! Mmmwah! I felt like taking my own pictures before 2008's gone. Here are few of my latest pictures which were taken today:

Tengok heels ku, mun tecucuk mata, ada yang buta tu. Hahaha.

*Fake tiara on my head, it's not even there actually hehe*. I take pictures of myself is my way to gain my self-esteem. Playing makeup and dress fitting cheer me up a bit. Sometimes, being vain reduces my pain.

Ceh nak lawan pose ye. Vote, who's more pretty? Lol. Of course the real model! I wish I have her legs. Thanks to black stockings I can cover up my eczema scars. Omg I'm so in love with this dress, despite of the ribbon crisis. *Sigh* I bought it @ Cawaii's Fashion Closet for B$30.

Second update, I've been working on my NEW BLOG. I called it MJ2B (My Journey 2 Beauty). Wanna take a peek, click the banner below.

Talk about VIRGINITY ♥

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 00:59:00 +0000

I sure caught your attention. Virginity, how much does it still valued here in Brunei? These days more and more couples married at a very young age, not because they had planned to, but they just had to. You know, the one we call here in Brunei 'kawin exsiden'. Recently I heard a 15 year old girl got pregnant by her boyfriend. When I was 15, I didn't even know that we, Muslims, also do the kissing stuff. I know I sound stupid. Hahaha! I was too naive back then, but it was better untaught than ill-taught. Modernisation seems to have corrupted our morality. It doesn't need porn to make a boy turn on, watching Shakira shaking her ass on MTV is enough to make a boy wet his pants. Oops. I mean some men. Heehee. Looking back into the human history, virginity in wives and daughters was a concept treasured by men. In non-religious terms, virginity is much less valued in the modern Western world. There, a 24 year old virgin like me must have been suspected to have a personality disorder or maybe considered pathetic. Hahaha! YES, I AM a VIRGIN and I'm fine being one, for now.

If a girl loses her virginity before married, she is a disgrace to her family, her religion and the society. What about men? As far as I know, men tend to lose their virginity at a much earlier age. Men, they're so easy, easy to get tempted to do it. When it comes to these cultural values associated with virginity, a boy loses his virginity is almost not an issue. However, for a girl, it's a taboo. Not fair.

Most girls lost their virginity because of love. Even though we know well that it is a sin to have sex before married in the Islamic term, some of us just cannot resist the temptation, that burning desire to feel and experience sexual pleasure. Humans are weak. I understand why some couples do it. I'm also human, a girl in love too, I understand that desire. That's why I have to be careful myself. Heehee. I thought, even Eve fell for the Devil's words, she was feeding her desire by eating the apple. The forbidden sure tastes like heaven, but only for a while. I know I'm allergic to seafood, yet I still eat them. It's the same thing. Thus, I won't look badly or 'pandang serong' at non-virgins. Everyone made mistakes in their lives. Even if the girl is like a sex machine, I have nothing against her, it's her life. Sex can be addictive. That's why ada 'Easi card girls', 'bohsia' and macam-macam la. I guess they do it for money and pleasure. I pity those girls. Maybe they have this idea, "sama jua aku bukan anak dara lagi, inda kisah lah". What a shame. I think, generally, once people have sex, they'll be wanting more, and gradually it will turn into a sweet addiction. Am I gonna experience this as well?! Hahaha! That's why I only want sex after kahwin, then baru HALAL. Hahaha! But if the girl is sleeping with her girlfriend's man or something like that, she is really a low life whore. Speaking of whore, I noticed that if a girl sleeps around, she will be labeled a WHORE, a SLUT or a BITCH. Men have no such nick names even if they indulge in illicit sex with other men's women. Well not that I know of. Not fair again.

And another scenario, what if a girl lost her virginity because it was taken from her. Yes, rape cases, victims are mostly women. We are easy targets of sexual harrassment and molestation. Why do we, females, always have to be the victims?! Not fair! Ok girls, let's rape some men! Hahaha! I think men will enjoy that, then it's no longer called 'rape'. Lol. V stands for Virginity, V stands for Vagina, vagina belongs to us, women, which makes us V the Victims in this issue. Hahaha!

Why I am still a virgin up to this day is because I treasure my body. Virginity is my dignity. It takes years to keep my virginity, but it won't take a minute to lose it. I think some of us have forgotten the value of virginity and the long term effects, both positive and negative. It is truly something to be held onto, something to guard and give away only to the one and only one. What? Do I sound like your mama now? Hahaha. Think about it, virginity, once lost, can never be recovered or replaced. To me, it is too precious, more than gold, a treasure that once you lost, you can never get it back. So if I want to give up my virginity, I will give it away to the person who worth my heart, my body and soul, the one I call husband in the future. I want to give it away with no regrets. Besides, 'virgin' is always the best, and that will be my wedding gift to my future husband.

You may think that the person you love right now is the one, but he may not be, so think again before you give it away, considering how it's lost could change your life forever. If you're not a virgin anymore, don't hate me for this post, because I don't hate you. Hating me won't make you a virgin again. If you're okay with it, fine. To those who are not, rather than wasting your time regretting your past, you might as well fully enjoy the present. You don't wanna miss the good things in life.

I ask you men out there, do you give a damn if your girl is a virgin or not? Does her past matters now?

P/S: Please respond to my poll on the left side: "Be true be you! Are you a virgin?".

Thank you!

GHOST at GIANT?!

noreply@blogger.com (Lovellia) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 15:27:00 +0000

Mom was telling me a ghost story that was told by grandma. Grandma heard the story from her relative's daughter. The daughter was telling a story of her friend. Hahaha. What I'm trying to say is that I don't know the exact details of this story that I'm going to share. So pardon me if what I write here is slightly different from the real story, that is if you've heard this story somewhere or you're happened to be in the story. But what I do know is that this is a REAL story happening at the Brunei's GIANT Hypermarket.

Cakap Brunei bisai, baru membari kambang bulu HOHOHO! Cemani ceritanya, anak saudara my nini punya kawan ani bejalan ke Giant dengan anaknya, anaknya ni kanak-kanak la masih. I think just the two of them. Masa shopping, anaknya ni diam saja. Sudah abis shopping, sampai di kereta, anaknya duduk di belakang, dibawanya anaknya ni becakap tapi inda menjawab, inda jua mamanya ni berapa peduli. Sudah di rumah, pun sama, langsung inda becakap anaknya ni. Macam sugul lagi usulnya. Susah hati parentsnya ni, takut anak durang ni ketaguran masa di Giant kah apa, durang panggil tah ustaz. Uwaaaaa~ malas ku becerita lagi, bediri segala bulu-buluan, hahaha! I'm writing this after midnight. I feel like something is behind me right now, wondering what I'm up to here. Uwaaaaaa~ I stop my story here la, sambungan cerita tu I leave it to your imagination. Hahaha!

Ok this is siang dah, I continue my story hehe. Most of the time, I'm not scared of ghosts, but there are times pandai jua takut. Hehe. Back to the story, so ustaz datang ah. Ustaz atu meliat anak ani, "Eh, ani bukan anak mu ni. Baik tah kamu bawa balik ke Giant. Anak giant kali". Hahaha! The last sentence I just made it up. Sorry sorry, ok serious serious. Tekajut durang, pasal muka anak ani sama banar dengan anak durang, baju pun sama. Panic, balik tah durang semula ke Giant malam atu jua, rupanya anak durang yang banar ni sibuk jua mencari mamanya di sana. Sudah tejumpa anaknya yang banar ni, ilang tia 'anak hantu' ah. Rupanya, masa di Giant, inda tah mamanya ni sadar anaknya ni arah lain, entah, maybe bemain arah tempat permainan ah. Yang ikut dengannya di belakang ni ke hulu ke hilir di Giant ni sampai ke kereta and rumah ni rupanya hantu! Tapi yang calinya ikut jua anak hantu ni ke mana-mana, di bawa balik ke Giant, ikut jua hehe. Well inda mustahil la di kawasan Giant tu berhantu, di Rimba tah lagi. Plus durang ke sana time maghrib. You know this hantu yang suka menyerupai kitani. My mom cakap Hantu Selibaya kah, macam Surabaya pun ada jua bunyinya. Hehe. Biasanya hantu ni inda pulang mengacau tapi it likes to "copy". Menyerupai orang, bunyi-bunyian kah, especially if you're alone at home, macam-macam tah bunyi tu, seolah-olah rumah tu ada orang. Scary right. Hehe. I think this kind of ghost is common and I think mana-mana tempat pun possible ada. But I didn't expect that it would go to the extent that it will follow you sampai ke rumah. So be careful, or you might end up bringing a ghost to your home!

::*::Lovellia's World::*::