Getting my radio and heading out to find my group!

Pebble Beach, here I come! I have been invited once again to work as a spotter for NBC Sports, only this time it's the US Open at Pebble Beach! The big Kahuna of PGA Tour golf in the U.S. of A.!

With this, the 2010, United States Open Golf Championship, I will complete my goal as a spotter and golf enthusiast set almost 20 years ago, to call the hitting orders in all four of golf's major's. It all started with the 1992 British Open at Muirfield, (Nick Faldo won),  the 1993 PGA Championship (won by Nick Price in my hometown of St. Louis), the 1996 Masters Tournament (Faldo again after Greg Norman's 6 shot lead evaporated on Sunday)

This last major could end up being my swan song, and a final major to end my career as a TV golf spotter after having spotted for most of the golf networks at one tournament or the other for over 20 years. I'm 60 years old now and while I can still crank it out there about 250, I have been riding more than walking lately. I do plan on being in semi good shape for the walk around Pebble for four days!

For those of you new to the term spotter, and before you get the idea that I will rubbing elbows with the likes of Johnny Miller (although he is a super guy!) I will just tell you that normally the spotter is considered the lowest of the low in the pecking order of network golf coverage. He is contract labor for the network at each tour stop and his/or her job is to stay out of the picture and never speak unless spoken to. We get no special parking passes, no meals at the commissary, no rides on golf carts to get with our groups and no slack if we screw up!

A spotter will walk with the players, sometimes staying a shot ahead, calling the hitting orders back to a producer in a production trailer back at the TV compound. I have kept track of stats, fairways hit, greens in regulation, etc but mostly now we just do scoring. That's a much better job because you can walk with the players and standard bearers, INSIDE THE ROPES!

Which is the whole point of this part-time gig. It certainly ain't the money they pay us! But who can complain when they are inside the ropes at a major. Even a spotters TV credentials are impressive looking.

Here are a few of the ones I have had over the years.

This summer will mark the sixth time Pebble Beach will host a PGA Tour event and a major championship in the same year and I'm glad I will be there and be part of it. I'll be hitching up the 5th wheel and staying at an RV park in Salinas, CA. just north of Pebble Beach and the Monterey Peninsula. It's entirely possible that I will meet up with some PGA Tour journeymen there in their rigs and I will so some reporting to Twitter and Facebook on my Droid as I follow along. Stay tuned!

All according to Randall Mell of the Golf Channel, a senior writer who is already worn out with the drama on the PGA Tour, this while writing about Bill Murray's arrival at Pebble Beach for this year's AT&T Tournament. In his article Bill Murray – Love him? Or Loathe him? he says "all the squabbling in the game this young season is giving me a headache."

I would like to suggest to Randall a couple of things, number one is to get yourself a big bottle of aspirin, cause the season is early. Just wait till Tiger does come back! Everybody will be walking on eggshells, waiting for that first big faux paux to take place. And Big John ain't quite done yet either, despite statements made after playing like a chop. His new reality show will generate more drama and buzz, can he come back or is he really done?

Secondly, I think Bill Murray is mellowing out a bit as he gets along in age and you won't see the antics of the past he has performed previously at Pebble Beach, dancing in bunkers with old lady's and such. He will interact with the crowd as he usually does. I happen to like the guy, I respect his talent, both comedic and dramatic. I don't know him personally but I think anyone that brings attention to the game of golf right now is welcome, antics or not.

I couldn't think of 1% of the golf stuff floating around out there and I spent hours on this thing! Help me grow it so that I can call Guiness World Records and tell them that together, as a virtual golf community, we collectively made the world's biggest Golf Wordle. I don't see how Guiness could ignore a feat like that!

I do have some concerns about his security at the venue where he does decide to return to the PGA Tour. What will that security have to resemble, a presidential detail of Secret Service? And holy cow, how much is all that going to cost? Does a golf tournament on the PGA Tour schedule, a golf course where Tiger decides to stage his comeback circus – have the right to refuse?. Can you imagine, a PGA Tour event turning Tiger Woods away because they can't afford the tab for his security?

That's why I hope Tiger Woods has his own ""Gort" or even a boatload full of them stashed away somewhere.  (He is rumored to be hiding out on a yacht in the Bahamas.)  He could sure use the help of a Gort-like humaniod, an indestructible  machine, a robot obeying every command without hesitation. Much like the one I've pictured here , the robot from outer space that rescued and protected Michael Renny in that great 50's sci-fi thriller The Day The Earth Stood Still.

I fear he is going to need one or more of machines  such as Gort where, at just the uttering of a few nonsensical words, silly words such as; clapton, bahamas, nike or some such, they snap to attention, don their green armor and monster -walk  to where Tiger is hiding from the human race. They then rescue Tiger and spirit him away via spaceship (helicopter) to the tournament site.

Security, or the lack of it, will determine the where and when of Tiger's official "comeback tournament." My money would be on a Tiger return at  the Masters Tournament in April. It's the first of golf's majors and it's still four months away, time enough for someone to come to his rescue like he was kind enough to do for David Letterman.  Augusta is also a very good place to hide from a hostile press, avoid the hecklers (Augusta comes down hard on them) and still be able to play competitive golf.

And I am not buying for a minute what some are saying about Tiger having to miss a major to prove he is serious about his relationship.

The "Gort's" that run Augusta National, members, just like this Hootie character, may be the only ones rich enough to be able to afford the enormous cost of security that Tiger will expect for his return to the PGA Tour. But they are old hands at this stuff and will have no trouble protecting Tiger from the sorts of awkward questions the media might attempt to ask about his personal life.

But mostly, I think that  member Gort's can also protect his highness from the unwashed. There will be no Colin Mongomery haters, drunk with the joy of walking upright heaping insults at the number one player in the world, a man who also just happens to be a member of the Augusta National Golf Club himself.

Masters galleries are limited in size, and to only those "patrons" with logo's on their clothing.  There are no "mobs", no evidence of bikini wax, nor references to body bags, good heavens! Womens groups could gather and march in front of the gates to Magnolia Ln and Augusta National Golf Club while protesting the presence of Motherhood's current enemy # one, Tiger Woods, but sadly, no one would pay much attention to them. We all know what happened to the Martha Burke crowd, the Augusta Gort's used their other-worldly power and took away their spirit to win.

When Mr. Woods and his PR machine determine the time and place of his "comeback" to the PGA Tour, I think I can safely assume that most golfers will look forward to it, than not, I know this golfer does and I suspect Tim Finchem does too! We feel just awful for Erin but 300 million big ones should soften the blow. Erin, you are still young, astonishingly beautiful and your kids are perfect, have a nice life.

But lets get back to Tiger's comeback – Do you have an opinion on where it will be, which tournament will see Tiger again striding the fairways, the faithful Stevie by his side.  Care to hazard a guess as to where this sports drama will play out? Will , The Day That Tiger Returns, mark an end to the final chapter in this soap opera?

Here is their pitch taken right from their homepage and what they have to say about themselves and their golf schools, although the concept of a "residential" golf school escapes me. I guess it just means you can stay there while you fiddle with your swing. From the looks of it I would have to say that the next time I was in the UK I would be heading over to see James for a golf swing tune-up.

The UK's Leading Residential Golf School,  the James Andrews School of Golf  at Sedlescombe Golf Course, as featured in Todays Golfer Magazine wants to tell us golfers if we are  serious about  improving our golf but want a fun and relaxed atmosphere to do it in, there's the golf school for us.

Their 4-1 student to instructor ratio ensures you won't be lost in the crowd and is great way for golfers to grasp an idea, and work through it before the instructor rotates back with another aspect of the golf swing. Their 8 PGA professionals teach golf 7 days a week, all year round and their practice facilities at the golf academy include a state of the art computer/video analysis centre and a covered floodlit driving range.

So there you go Mr. Edward Biggs, Webmaster, The James Andrews School of Golf. Three in-text links for you in an actual post about your golf school on one of the LowCarb Golfer's precious blog pages. You see, no ordinary link swap will do for us here. Let's see if you can top that!

One of the reasons that convinced me to write about what the rest of the world already seems to know is that Tiger's attitude is off base when he suggests that what he does in private has nothing to do with the public and he should be allowed to live quietly without intrusion. That does not mean that I approve of the lengths the paparazzi will go to just to get the story, especially when it helps to take down a celebrity athlete like Tiger Woods nor do I approve of journalists such as Charlie Pierce who have axes to grind and can't be trusted to tell the truth.

But, the public has made it possible for golf to have it's first billionaire in that they are the ones that attend the tournaments where he plays, they buy the merchandise he promotes, they hang on his every word and turn a normal man's life into something that resembles Godhood. Before you know it the athlete is believing it themselves.

So when our all-time golf idol, Tiger Woods does something that betrays the trust of his supporters he owes them an explanation. When you are the best athlete in a professional sport, things have a way of working out. Just ask Kobe Bryant about that. Tiger needs to be honest about what he has done and get through this, the only way he can, the John Daly way, tell the truth about what happened, and throw yourself on the mercy of your fans. The public has a short memory if you appeal to their baser instincts and affairs of the heart definitely qualify.

As for the hypocritical media who are crying out for a Tiger lynching I would rather read about it from straight-shooters like Jason Whitlock. I do not advocate the kind of humor of whoever it was that created this photo and calls it "Seasons Greetings From Tiger & Elin" but I have to admit it does strike me funny. I just can' t help myself.

Here is a great deal for the golfer on your Christmas list and it won't break the bank! Experienced golf balls from Nike. 60 balls for less than the price for a dozen new golf balls.

These balls are perfect for the new golfer and golfers love balls that look and feel like new.

If you don't want to worry about losing expensive golf balls get these, the cost works out to about 33 cents each and the reviews from golfers have been great.

Great balls to use for practice and most look and feel like new.

I have been following Marty's career since he started dating my daughter-in-laws best friend Meagan. He has been a factor in a number of events since joining the Tour but this was his first win. Great player, great guy!

Get Me OUTSIDE!

I don't like treadmills in the spare bedroom, garage, working out at health clubs or other forms of indoor exercise,  other than they are boring, boring, boring, wall mounted TV or not. I don't care if Oprah has Michelle Obama, Tom Cruise, David Letterman, Ellen, Donald Trump and Tiger Woods on the same show! (wouldn't that be a show?), indoor workouts just don't work for me, even if I have a window to look out of.

If you ever wondered why your new year's resolution to exercise and lose weight lost it's momentum after only a few weeks here is a clue:

Hello! It's winter out there, cold, rainy, gloomy, etc. Your brain wants to be doing something outdoors, walking, hiking, just about anything as long as it's outside while your body cringes at the thought. Some refer to exercising outdoors as eco-therapy, or green exercise, although I think that word green is overused. Did you know for example that the color green balances the nervous system and is supposed to have a calm, soothing, effect?

When there isn't a whole lot of green around during winter where you live it can be tough to get motivated, much less stay that way until spring. But don't despair, just by seeking the natural world you can reap the benefits of re-connecting with the environment – a reduction in anger and stress levels only to mention a couple. Take the dog for a walk, bundle up and breathe the fresh air.