Libertarian Radio Network, Inc.

(283) REMEMBER WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN & SITTING BULL

2009-11-13T11:57:00.005-05:00

In 1896, at the Nominating Convention, William Jennings Bryan captured the audience with a speech that is considered to be one of the great speeches in the history of the United States. He argued that silver should be the standard on which the currency was based, or, at the worst, a double standard with silver and gold being used to support the currency.

President Cleveland was a supporter of the gold standard, and, when the gold reserves fell to near bankruptcy levels in 1896, he appointed JP Morgan to oversee a bail-out. Morgan bought gold certificates from the government and turned around and sold them at an enormous profit. By then, Grover Cleveland had fallen out of favor with the public and was considered as a puppet for Morgan.

With Cleveland unelectable, the Democrats thought that the Populist Manifesto might enable them to remain in the White House, and the Populist/Democrat Party nominated Bryan as their candidate. His mantra was, "You shall not crucify mankind on a cross of gold."

This simplistic idea focused the country's attention on an issue that really wasn't a major issue. Nevertheless, at age 36, he became the youngest Presidential Nominee ever. The Democrats at rallies shouted, "Cross of gold, cross of gold!"

His opponent in the Presidential Election was William McKinley. McKinley won by out-spending Bryan $7,000,000 to $300,000.

Is there anything going on in Congress today that politicians are using to distract the populace from noting the real issues and the extreme financial condition the country is in?

* * * * *

Also of interest, I have wondered for a long time how we were able to take this country from the Indians. We had better weapons, and we had a constant influx of settlers who were willing to use those weapons to acquire land. In the process of stealing the land that once belonged to the Indians, we initiated a Cavalry that was supposed to protect the settlers who had declared that this land belonged to us, not the Indians.

Despite all of the high-tech stuff we had available, a principal reason why the Indians lost was that there was treachery in the Tribe, and there was no unified Indian front. Most Tribes hated other Tribes, and it was a simple matter of enlisting the angry Tribe to track down the Tribes that were not cooperating. On December 15, 1890, Sitting Bull, who had been touring with Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show, was quietly living on a Reservation when the Cavalry sent the Indian Police to arrest Sitting Bull. The Indian Police were the snitches and informants of the day, and they gladly worked for the Calvary--good pay, good benefits, lots of women, and fire-water. On December 15, 1890, while trying to arrest Sitting Bull, a scuffle ensued and he was killed by the Indian Police who were sent to capture him. Was this the original Blackwater?

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Historian for the day

QUICKIE UU

2009-11-11T11:12:00.002-05:00

Thomas Sowell says, "If we cannot afford to pay for doctors, hospitals, and pharmaceutical drugs now, how can we afford to pay for doctors, hospitals, and pharmaceutical drugs, in addition to a new federal bureaucracy to administer a government-run medical system?"

He also opines that if government can lower medical costs by eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse, why haven't they done that already?

Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin

(282) NUTCASE MONDAY

2009-11-09T16:38:00.003-05:00

This weekend, the Police in Cleveland spent hours going through a guy's house and yard who had 10-12 dead people buried in the area. The stench was so great that no one thought it could be coming from his house. They thought it was some industrial odor.

Also, at Fort Hood, a Muslim went berserk and shot up the place. When someone of Muslim persuasion starts wearing prayer garb and bouncing their head off the floor five times a day while they chant and then curse the United States, even though he is a Major in the United States Army, someone needs to put a net over the guy and have him examined. How often do you hear of an Atheist from Denmark shooting up a shopping center, an airport, or a military base?

In other news, Dez Bryant, an All-American Wide Receiver from Oklahoma State, has been suspended for one year because he lied to the NCAA. What heinous crime had Bryant committed? He jogged with former-NFL player Dion Sanders. There are more stupid rules in society--and the rules are becoming more oppressive every day. The reason that we have to have government-run health care and why we can't see the wisdom in the legalization of drugs is very simple: the government does not want to give up control. There is a powerful urgency to control every aspect of the human experience, however, within the parameters of all the rules imaginable, what harm was there in Bryant having an off-season meeting with Dion Sanders? These people are out of control and need to be reigned in. What it takes is for a few major schools to have the gumption to drop out of the NCAA and go it alone. It's the old 'Stout-hearted Men' song: "Start me with ten, who are stout-hearted men, and I'll soon give you ten thousand more." Well, the first ten need to step up, and, after that, it'll be easy.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin

(281) CRISPUS ATTUCKS & MONEY

2009-11-05T13:09:00.004-05:00

Crispus Attucks's Mother was an Indian, and his Father was Black. He was a former slave who went to sea for 20 years to escape slavery. Unfortunately, he was also the first person to die in the Boston Massacre in March of 1770.

* * *

The Republicans are all puffed up because they won a couple of Gubernatorial seats, and they are very quiet about losing the Congressional seat in upstate New York that had been occupied for years by Republicans. Who won or lost is irrelevant. We are plunging into the abyss with no hope for the employed or the unemployed. We are about to experience runaway inflation. I do not know if you noticed or not, but gold crept to an all-time high earlier this week, and no one in the news (including Fox) reported the new high for gold. Bearing this in mind, everyone out there should get a few silver coins, 1964 or before, for their sock drawer. In case there is a major economic disaster, you will have some hard currency to tide you over.

A friend of mine sent me a bumper-sticker that said, "Because everyone deserves what you worked for." People who have not worked for anything are all in favor of taking your property. If you do not have any property available, they want the government to turn on the printing presses and make a bejillion dollars in new currency to be circulated through various banks and other businesses.

* * *

On the bonus issue, there are a lot of crazed Liberals complaining about bankers and stock brokers getting millions of dollars in bonuses. My objection is that they are paying people for losing massive amounts of money. I do not mind millions of dollars in bonuses if the corporate executives have produced massive amounts of income. However, it is bizarre beyond belief if they are rewarding people who are incompetent. But that is the way it goes when you are dealing with the government.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
A worried Citizen

QUICKIE TT

2009-11-04T14:30:00.002-05:00

Astrophysicists have determined that a meteor is headed to Earth and will crash into the planet within the next seven days. According to predictions, all INTELLIGENT life will be destroyed. I should be safe.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin
Your village idiot

(280) RESPONSE & OBSERVATION

2009-11-03T14:29:00.008-05:00

I have been asked how I have calculated the percentage of the people who are uninsured in the United States. Accepting the government's figures. There are 300,000,000 people in the United States and that 50,000,000 of them are uninsured, 50,000,000 divided by 300,000,000 equals 17%. I have rounded the 17% up to 20%. Understand, this figure represents people who are uninsured, not people who are not receiving medical care. The medical system in the United States takes care (in some form or fashion) 98% of the people. It is a liberal sleight of hand to point to the number of people who are uninsured. In the liberal mind, going to a clinic or a charity hospital has a stigma attached to it and no one should be stigmatized. Instead, a massive bureaucracy should be created that doles out medical care. According to government estimates, within X years, 95% of the people will have health coverage under the proposed plans. However, in order to achieve this result, people who have insurance plans in place, including Medicare, have to take a reduction in benefits, and they have to pay higher prices for their coverage. This morning, I paid a $150 co-payment on a medication that had been prescribed to me by my doctor. The co-payment used to be $10, but after I started using the government-provided Plan D of Medicare, my co-payments have drastically increased. Again, I point out that I am not allowed to deduct any of this from my taxes. Yet, the government proposes that we increase taxes on the rich (whoever that is) to pay for care of the poor. Obviously, Robin Hood still lives in the hearts and minds of the folks who occupy important positions in Washington. I do not know a single doctor who does not provide some pro bono service. I am a lawyer, and I provide a lot of pro bono services every year--and I am glad to do it. I think it is my contribution to the welfare of society.

I also note that not a single politician has suggested that all medial costs, including the cost of insurance and preventative maintenance be tax deductible. The government would rather impose additional taxes and pay a bureaucracy to dole out medical care. Allowing a tax deduction is just too simple.

* * *

Maine is having an election on whether same-sex couples should be married. The real question is: should anyone be allowed to marry? If you have children, whether you are married or not, you are required by law to support them, and people go to jail every year who refuse to support their children. It is a complicated bureaucratic nightmare to get someone in jail, but it happens every day. The moral is don't have children you cannot afford.

Drifting back to the marriage conundrum, a person can have (let's say a man) several girlfriends, he can have children with those girlfriends, he can have torrid sex with the girlfriends, and all of this is permissible under the law. But let him enter into a contract with a woman that the state becomes a party to, that person becomes known as a Wife. If he takes on another Wife without ridding himself of the first Wife, he has committed a high crime--and our crazy, conservative Courts cannot wait to put the sap in prison.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Life in the fast lane

(279) THE GREAT WHITE SHARK

2009-11-02T14:18:00.008-05:00

Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, the Great White Shark surfaced and munched several people who were swimming close to shore. I, actually, thought that Jon and Kate were among those who had been munched, but, alas, they surfaced to complain about Jon having an affair while married to Kate. All three stations carried a similar story. The stations are so desperate to put something newsworthy on the air, they have opted for a river of waste. As soon as I saw it on station one, I channel-surfed to station two, and there they were again. I immediately channel-surfed to station three, and there they were again! I gave up after the third station and decided to hear what the super-losers had to say (it could be argued that I'm a super-loser for watching this dung). The latest round shows Jon apologizing for having an affair and contemplating how he is going to explain infidelity to his children. Meanwhile, there was a series of paparazzi pictures showing the unfaithful couple laughing and cavorting with one another. Please, Great White Shark, if you have to go to their house to munch them down, I will pay for a tank large enough to transport you, if you promise not to leave any pieces floating in the water.

* * *

Also of interest this morning, they were doing a retrospective on the year 1979. There were many fascinating things. I have selected a few for your amusement:

1) It was the year that Mean Joe Green did the Coke commercial where he gave his jersey to the child.

2) It was the year the second Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back, was released.

3) It was the year that Pink Floyd sang, "Hey! Teacher! Leave those kids alone!"

4) It was also the Three-Mile Island incident where everybody within five miles of the reactor should have left the area if they were sensitive to radiation (who isn't?).

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your history teacher

(278) MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS

2009-10-30T12:03:00.005-04:00

Ryan strikes again and advises that the latest story about the boycott was bogus. I suspect that he is right because he does great research. My friend JFS is very good at research, and he sent me a copy of the newspaper article. However, I believe that Ryan is correct. I should not have assumed that the article was correct just because it came from JFS. My wish is that I wake up tomorrow and find out that there was no war and all of the stories have been made up to sell newspapers and to get a TV audience for the evening news.

* * *

The House has proposed a Medical Bill. In short form, it is a thinly veiled effort to rape the rich, id est, people who are making more than $500,000 per year, and it includes a reduction in Medicare benefits.

More alarming, there are going to be penalties assessed against employers and individuals who do not buy health-care coverage. Not many years ago, those proposing this Bill would be tried for treason, and those supporting the Bill would be laughed out of Congress. What has happened to the concept of freedom of choice?

At the present moment, 81% of the citizens who are under age 65 have insurance. The government program would push that number up to 96%. Individuals and families who have annual income up to four times the poverty level, or $88,000 for a family of four, would get a sliding-scale subsidy to help them buy coverage. Who is going to calculate the sliding scale? This is another government boondoggle that will set up another staggering bureaucracy that does not work. One of my buddies wrote to advise that the Postal Service, wars, social security, Medicare, the Department of Immigrations, and nothing else works that is operated by the government. I have a bumper sticker that says, "Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it," and that is an accurate statement.

The medical plan is nothing more than an attempt to buy votes. People who are going to benefit, at the expense of others, will rush to support the Senators and Representatives who are proponents of this Socialistic, Fascist, dictatorial nonsense.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
An angry Citizen

QUICKIE SS

2009-10-29T13:44:00.005-04:00

EDUCATION AND WORKFORCE SECRETARY

A story in the morning paper said the state Education and Workforce Secretary was resigning. This brings to mind a question of no magnitude: how did anyone ever get an education or find a job before there was a Secretary of Education and Workforce?

* * *

My friend, Ryan, is always on top of the political game, and he advised that 156 members of Congress voted against the Iraqi Resolution. I have no idea why I thought only two members voted against the Resolution. Since his courteous email has arrived, I have checked the figures and, by golly, he is right.

Using his figures, 70% in favor and 30% against is still a telling ratio. Now that the wind is blowing the other way, how many of those who voted for war are recommending that we get out? I do not know the answer to that question. Maybe Ryan can assist us.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
A curious citizen

(277) INTEREST RATES

2009-10-29T12:11:00.003-04:00

Has anyone out there, other than me, noticed that interest rates are climbing and so is the price of gasoline. Considering the amount of surplus currency that has been printed by the government and put in circulation, it is no surprise that prices are going up, and I fear the country is headed for runaway inflation. At the moment, the only sound things in which I think you should invest in are gold, silver, and real estate, if you can buy the property at a very low figure and rent it for more than the mortgage payment. We need to have our assets in something that is tangible. Stocks are an interest in a company that may not be here next year. The stock market has taken a hit the last couple of days, and none of this bodes well for the future of the dollar or the United States economy.

* * *

I am still looking for intelligent life on Earth. When searching, I continue to find John McCain, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid, not to mention our fearless President. In a marketplace where we are drastically over-extended, our leaders have proposed in one incantation or another that we have universal health care without regard to the cost. What we need is to plunge into a program that doubles our debt.

* * *

My friend JFS sent me a newspaper article from Victoria, Texas. It was fascinating because the Hispanic community decided to boycott Caucasian-owned businesses for 30 days and, when it was over, they declared the boycott a success because their sales were down by 19%. However, business owners also declared the boycott a success because shoplifting was down 77%. The daily cleaning up the trash around the store was down 84%. Another win-win situation.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin

(276) BLUE MONDAY

2009-10-26T15:48:00.002-04:00

In 1927, Lindbergh flew across the Atlantic, non-stop, to Paris. This encouraged Americans' feelings of confidence and invincibility. However, by the late 1930's, Lindbergh was expressing anti-Semitic political views, and he made several trips to Germany to inspect the German Air Force (Luftwaffe). In 1938, he was presented with a medal by Herman Goering, who was the first leader of Hitler's Stormtroopers and founder of the Gestapo. He once made a speech in which he said the Jewish-owned media were pushing America into the war.

One thing the media does best is shape public opinion according to its own ingrown view of what the country should be doing.

* * *

For the record, last night I was channel-surfing, and I stumbled upon Ann Coulter. I swear I think she has had a boob-job. Just what she needed--more boob.

* * *

On Friday, Suicide bombers killed 147 people in Iraq. There was another 700 who were injured. Imagine what it would be like if the United States had not gotten into the mess in Iraq. We would have had, at least, 147 people die and, at least, 700 wounded, but we would have not spent 5,000 American lives on this pile of camel-dung. These folks don't like each other, and they have been fighting for 500 years. I don't blame this nightmare on Bush because, save only two people, everyone in Congress voted to invade and depose Saddam Hussein. Now imagine what would have happened if we had not invaded and Saddam Hussein had stayed in power. He would have killed thousands of people, if necessary, to preserve order. None of our citizens would have died in the process. The myth about weapons of mass destruction is insane. It is a war of opportunity widely believed by the ignorant masses to be necessary to preserve our safety. Unfortunately, I keep writing about the war because it gets grimmer by the day, and there is no end in sight.

* * *

In other news, in the world of books, Kaku wrote The Physics of the Impossible. Save your money and time. It is not worth reading.

On the movie front, I spent two miserable hours watching Knocked Up. Again, save your time and money--it is not worth the effort.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin
Your chronicler of culture

QUICKIE RR

2009-10-20T15:31:00.005-04:00

Paraguay Independence Day--May 14.

* * *

If stupidity was a crime, the fools who launched the hot-air balloon that looked like a UFO should be put in prison for 50 years. This mind-numbed group could not foresee any consequences. For instance, did they fail to realize the balloon would come down at some point in time? And, when it came down, did they think no one would notice there was not a child in the balloon? These people lack such foresight that I have changed my mind: instead of putting them in prison, let's elect them to Congress where no one can understand the far-reaching consequences of the stupid moves they make. These folks would make perfect Senators.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
A political analyst

(275) ENGINES & ECONOMICS

2009-10-19T15:04:00.003-04:00

Mars Bonfire wrote "Born to Be Wild" and "The Speed of Life". His tune, "Born to Be Wild," is played 2,000 times a day around the world. His income is secure. His royalty payments keep him happy. Now why did I mention Mars? Answer: "Get your motor running" is offensive to me. Motorcycles do not have motors, they have engines. The Indianapolis Motor Speedway has misnamed the place--cars running there do not have motors, they have engines. Another one of my futile, time-consuming projects is to get Indianapolis to change the name of the Speedway. This is as bad as fools who pronounce Monet, 'Moan A.' Clearly, his name is pronounced 'Mon ett.'

* * *

Napoleon sold the western part of the United States for three cents per acre. Before you scoff, remember in those days three cents was still three cents. President Jefferson thought it was a grand idea and cheerfully paid the asking price. Meanwhile, back in England, in order to raise money to fight the Napoleonic War, England imposed an income tax on the populace. What an unfortunate precedent, but, to the credit of the British, they did not try to fight a war and introduce massive social programs at the same time. You can have one or the other, but not both. The United States has not learned that lesson.

* * *

Have you noticed that prices are beginning to creep upward? Ice cream, potato chips, beer, candy bars, coffee. The fun has just begun. The government has got to stop printing money, or we are dead meat. On the Internet, I noticed there are several commercial properties selling for three times what they are worth. When I moved the office, I noticed there was a lot of commercial space available--for twice the reasonable value of the space. On two occasions, I offered the reasonable price for the space, only to be rejected. The landlord would rather leave the space vacant than lease it for a reasonable sum of money.

* * *

I am writing today from a hot air balloon that looks like a UFO. We are drifting toward Hawaii. I could not afford an airplane ticket, so I jury-rigged a balloon, and I am on my way. Even if I don't make it, there will be enough publicity to make me famous and get me on TV in prime-time. If rescue planes are sent, I may write a book.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
UFO Pilot

(274) OF WAR & REFORM

2009-10-16T13:24:00.004-04:00

Does anyone know anything about the War of 1812? I certainly didn't until my curiosity was aroused and I started reading. The British lost in round one, but continued to impress sailors taken from American ships. That caused a hew-and-cry among the war-crazed hawks of the West. Congress was led by a young House Speaker, the one and only Henry Clay of Kentucky. The hawks and certain members of Congress had tried to push Jefferson into a second war with England, but he graciously declined the offer. Madison was not quite as courageous as Jefferson and was finally pushed into war in June of 1812. He was running for re-election and probably feared that any show of cowardice would result in his being defeated in the election. America only had 12,000 soldiers, and they were scattered about the country--and under the command of political appointees rather than experienced military officers. The Navy was minuscule in size compared to England's Navy. Neither side prosecuted the war with much enthusiasm. England considered America to be an important commercial market and did not want to aggravate folks who were buying their products. The only major battle of the war won by the Americans was the Battle of New Orleans which occurred after a peace treaty had been signed. Along the way, in July 1912, General William Hull launched an assault against Canada! The Canadians were helped by 1,000 Indians under Tecumseh's command. Hull's Army was smashed to bloody smoosh and had to quickly retreat. He was later court martialed and sentenced to death for cowardice. Should we really treat losing a battle as a capital offense? I don't know. Hull was pardoned by Madison, which saved him from the firing squad.

In my lifetime, we have always considered Canada to be a good friend in the North, but, in April 1813, American forces captured York in Toronto and burned all of the government buildings. Enough of this nonsense about good neighbors to the North.

* * *

Well, it finally happened. President Obama forced the Health Care Reform Bill out of Committee and behind closed doors, where the Dove will be buried at the Crossroads under a full Moon at Midnight. The stated purpose of the closed-door meeting is to reconcile the Senate Bill with one that was passed by the House. What will come out of the Dove burial will not resemble either the House Bill or the Senate Bill. Next the Bill will travel to the Rules Committee, who will essentially re-write the Bill making reasonable changes to make sure the Bill is fair and just. If you work and pay taxes, brace yourself--you are about to have sex with an angry grizzly bear. The version of the Bill passed by the Senate and sent to the burial of the Dove contained seven new taxes, but that is just the start. Congress will produce a Bill that, for the next 10 years, will reduce our take-home income by a bejillion dollars. If you're a taxpayer, you already pay more in taxes than you do for housing, food, clothing, and medical care, combined. So it goes--the Wizard is behind the curtain manipulating our futures, and it is going to cost us a lot of money.

Sincerely yours,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your tax advisor

(273) WILD WEDNESDAY

2009-10-13T12:19:00.009-04:00

I received a comment from Anonymous II in which he observes that George Kennan was the father of the domino theory, not Eisenhower. 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn'. The Easter Bunny could be the father of the domino theory, but that does not negate the fact that Eisenhower gave a speech in which he said he was sending more troops Korea, and he used the phrase, 'the domino theory'. Who thought of it is irrelevant--it was just another crazy idea to scare the populace into thinking that we needed more troops in Korea.

Anonymous 2 also states that Obama is already withdrawing troops from Iraq. I am looking for net withdrawal. For everyone he brings back, two more go somewhere in the world to fight a war in which we should not be involved. Finally, after expressing some additional improbables, Anonymous 2 says that the United States has the only lawful foundation of government. The concept of 'republic' is a lawful concept, however, we have evolved into a really dangerous precedent called 'Democracy', where there are no protections for minority views.

He also opines that America has done a lot for the benefit of mankind. He makes the bizarre statement that we have, for half a century, respected the independence of other nations. To understand the absurdity of this assertion, a little review is in order. From 1898 to 1901, we engaged in the Spanish-American War. As a result of the War, we acquired Puerto Rico, Hawaii, and the Philippines. So much for the independence of other nations. I have never been able to fathom what World War I was about, and, although I have read extensively on the subject--in fact I have written papers about World War I--I have no idea why we were involved. Nor do I have any idea what it accomplished. It was billed as a short war that would clear the air and guarantee peace throughout the world forever, et cetera.

Next, we had World War II in which FDR and Cordell Hull, Secretary of State, couldn't wait to get us involved. When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, the Japanese pretended that the United States had attacked Japan and, pursuant to a treaty, Hitler declared a war on the United States--which was exactly what Roosevelt and Hull had hoped for. The outcome of World War II is well-known, with Stalin dividing up Europe and other nations getting a piece of the pie.

Then we had the mess in Korea, where Eisenhower and others were afraid of the domino effect ('If we don't stop them from taking the territory south of the 38th Parallel, we will soon have the Commie Bastards in Canada').

Finally, we had Vietnam, which was a stupid undertaking of cosmic proportions which cost us 50,000 lives, and, now we are in a quagmire in Iraq and Afghanistan, with sabre rattling going on regarding North Korea and Iran.

Anonymous 1 wrote and equated meth labs blowing up to the current health crisis because we spend money taking care of people who were operating the lab and innocent people who were injured as result of the lab explosion. He may as well have argued that we should blow up the Moon because its gravitational pull weakens everyone on the planet. First, very few meth labs blow up in comparison to the number. Second, if a meth lab blows up and kills the operator of the lab, that is exactly what we want. It puts the maker of methamphetamine out of business. Hallelujah! Let the good times roll! How many innocent people are injured when the meth lab blows up? Despite the whining that children were present, children next door, children down the street, or children in another state, when a meth lab blows up, it is a very rare, almost non-existent occurrence when innocent lives are taken in the explosion. However, if they are killed, it is just the cost of doing business. Either way, meth-lab explosions have nothing to do with government controlled medicine.

All medical expenses should be tax-deductible. After we are over that hurdle, Social Security should provide for hearing, vision, and dental care for the elderly. After these glitches are taken care of, we could take the trillion dollars we are spending on war and insure everyone else. By giving a medical card to everyone who makes less than $20,000 per year. The medical card would pay for medical services ordered by a doctor. The doctor could submit his billing electronically and be paid electronically within 48 hours. No mass-bureaucracy to dole out what is proper and should be allowed. It is strictly doctor-patient. By implementing a system such as this, we avoid the massive bureaucracy that President Obama has proposed. His Waste-Avoidance Committee will become the most expensive part of the program, as bureaucrats agonize over what expenditure is appropriate. The Bill which is now pending and, unfortunately, stands a chance of passing, requires the imposition of an income tax on Class-A medical coverage.

The only way to stop this is for everybody to write their respective Congressmen and Senators today and say, 'Stop this nonsense!'

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your healthy servant (fortunately) in the Garden of Life

(272) MELLOW MONDAY

2009-10-12T15:43:00.002-04:00

Vladimir Putin has entered the World Yodeling Championship to be held on Thanksgiving Day in Nashville, Tennessee. I have a few complimentary tickets left if anyone is interested.

* * *

In 1984, Carl Lewis won a gold medal in the Olympics in the 100-meters, Ben Johnson was third. In 1988, Carl Lewis won a gold medal in the 100-meters. Ben Johnson finished first, but was disqualified, and Lewis, who was second, moved up to first place. Johnson had an illegal substance in his system. In the last three weeks, someone mentioned that maybe, perhaps, could be, that Lewis was using a performance-enhancing drug that could not be detected. First, if he was using a performance-enhancing drug, it didn't help his singing career. And, in the world-according-to-Don, who cares? If he was on a skateboard with a sail, there would be something to complain about, otherwise--shut up--we all need to enhance our performances from time to time.

I read in the Better Brain book that by taking acetyl-L-carnetine, my memory would improve in eight weeks. I have been using it for eight weeks, and it has improved my memory, however, there are some scary side effects. My shlong keeps getting bigger. My doctor has no idea how long the growth cycle will continue and has cautioned that I may soon be dragging around a fire hose. Be careful of the supplements you are taking--there may be some undesirable side effects.

* * *

My friend Peter asked, "Who are Jon and Kate?" That is strong evidence that he's not up to speed on significant current events.

* * *

In my last epistle, I'm not sure I clearly made my point. The point being: it is my desire that we (the USA) do not exceed the number of years the Mongol hoards were at war. We could stop now and have 200 years to spare.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your arbiter of culture

(271) FRANTIC FRIDAY

2009-10-09T12:06:00.003-04:00

May we live long enough to get together again.

* * *

Yesterday, I read a sad editorial commenting on the death of a student who was killed on the way home from school in Chicago. They had re-districted his school and put him in a location that required an unsafe walk to get to and from his designated school and his home. He happened to walk into a gang-controlled area, and they killed him. Other people ran to his aid and dragged him out of the melee, but it was too late. This outraged the government to such an extent that the Attorney General went to Chicago to peruse the situation. He found that the Chicago school system was in disarray and needed to increase their safety precautions for the protection of all the children. That, of course, did not bring the child that was killed back to life.

* * *

In 850 CE, the Mongols were sitting around, presumable by their campfires, thinking, 'If we just had all of the known world under our control, we could be happy and content.' I have no idea what they thought they would do with the known world--there is only so much plundering you can do before you have absorbed all the goods and services available. Despite a number of forays into territory that did not belong to the Mongols, nothing much happened until 1167 CE, until Genghis Khan took over. By 1211 CE, the Mongols had made significant progress in their domination of the world. In 1229 CE, the third son of Genghis Khan, Ogedei, was elected Great Khan. He was not an outstanding soldier, but he allowed his Generals to advance the Mongol Empire. Sometime around New Year's Day 1256 CE, the Mongols, under the command of Mongke, who was the ambitious nephew of Genghis's son, Ogedei, took over the war effort. He attacked and overran Baghdad, then burned the public buildings and the cultural artifacts that had accumulated in the museums over five centuries!

Enough of the Mongol Empire--let us retreat now to the present. The Mongol onslaughts occurred between 850 and 1300 CE, or a period of 450 years. In the United States, we have been at war since before 1776 and up to the present moment. I do not know that we have burned any libraries along the way, but we have certainly had enough war to satisfy the blood-lust of most people. Is there anyone out there who can remember a time when we were not at war with somebody, over something? I had hoped President Obama would bring the troops home, but, instead, we are fighting in Iraq, Afghanistan, and we may, ultimately, end up in Iran, not to mention the little aggravation that is going on with the North Koreans. I now realize there is not going to be any peace, and we are not going to get out of any war, anywhere, at any time. Where is Richard Nixon when we need him? Nixon, who was a scumbag of gigantic proportions, at least understood the folly of Vietnam, declared that we had won, and got the hell out of there. It is time to resurrect Tricky Dick and let him announce that we have won in all of these countries and get out of there.

I was reading about Eisenhower's presidency the other day, and I was amazed. It seems that Eisenhower was the father of the Domino Theory. He believed that, if the North Koreans advanced past the 38th Parallel (another arbitrary line in the sand), a domino effect would be created and, pretty soon, the Commie Bastards would occupy all of Asia, then it was just a short step for them to take over Canada. The motivation of the United States is unfathomable to me on Frantic Friday. Perhaps on Mellow Monday, I will have a better understanding.

* * *

I happened to read a summary of some of the proposed health care plans. These plans, lumped together, make absolutely no sense. One of the plans provides that people who are uninsured and do not accept the government option be fined $3,000 for their failure to buy into the government plan. We have now created a new crime: the failure to insure yourself, and it is punishable by a stiff fine.

* * *

And, finally, last night Jay Leno said, 'Could we just get rid of Jon and Kate?' Rarely do I cheer the television (I know he cannot hear me), but I vaulted to my feet and said, "Right on, brother!" This is a phenomenon that is mind-boggling. The Japanese attack at Pearl Harbor received less press than two losers with eight kids having domestic strife. In protest, as soon as an announcer speaks the losers names, I change channels.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your humble observer

(270) WAR: EIGHT YEARS RUNNING

2009-10-08T15:48:00.002-04:00

Yesterday (October 7, 2009), marked the eighth anniversary of the War in Afghanistan. We have been in Afghanistan, fighting for nothing, for almost twice as long as we were involved in World War II. Another quagmire dropped on us by the brilliant United States government. First, the Russians declared war on Afghanistan. The benevolent United States provided all of the weapons for the Afghanis to resist the Russians. The Russians quit and, subsequently, the US invaded. The Afghan insurgents used the weapons we provided to kill our troops. A typical brain-dead move on the part of the United States government.

Even stranger, the al-Qaeda and the Taliban are hiding out in Pakistan, and we honor all imaginary boundaries (sometimes). Instead of blasting the holy hell out of the mob, we honor the border with Pakistan. That's great military strategy.

* * *

Meanwhile, back back at the ranch, Kate and Jon are at it again. Kate says that Jon raped the bank account, and Jon says he only took $22,000. His definition of bank-account rape is different than mine. Perhaps we can introduce these two losers to Dexter.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin
Your servant of truth

(269) ZATOPEK & LIMBAUGH

2009-10-05T11:39:00.002-04:00

If you have read the book Marathon Man, beside seeing the movie, you may have wondered why the hero chanted, "Zatopek! Zatopek! . . ." as he ran. Simple truth: he chanted Zatopek for inspiration. In my opinion, Emil Zatopek was the ultimate Olympic athlete. In the same Olympics, he won the 5,000-meters, the 10,000-meters, and the Marathon. The feat will never be duplicated because some of the events are held on the same day. When it was announced in Olympic Stadium that Emil Zatopek was leading the Marathon and was approaching the Stadium, 100,000 people stood up and chanted, "Zatopek! Zatopek! . . ." There are many moments in the human experience that are frozen in time. Zatopek! Zatopek! . . .

While channel-surfing on the car radio, looking for a football game, I stumbled upon a Rush Limbaugh rerun that had to have been broadcast before last Friday. I think he is an idiot. I formed my opinion of him after hearing him talk about a nude beach in California. According to Limbaugh, civilization was in a state of decline because people were allowed to frolic nude on the beach. Yesterday, he was blowing off about Obama going to Copenhagen, Denmark to accept the offer of the Olympic Committee to hold the 2016 games in Chicago. Limbaugh opined that the deal had already been made, or Obama would not have gone to Copenhagen. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Rio de Janeiro got the nod. Therefore, Rush should only open his mouth about ethereal issues, such as why a government proposal is not working, why the XYZ tax is unfair, or why the wars in the Middle East are great experiences for us. What works or does not work is often a matter of opinion, but predicting where the Olympics will be held is a hard, cold fact. Within 24 hours, Limbaugh was exposed as a fool again. And speaking of fools, the leaders in Washington, DC are pushing for a program that will bankrupt the country. Ryan wrote to say he did not think they would allow run-away inflation to occur. My standard answer, 'Who is They?' If the ubiquitous 'They' exist, it is the same group that got us into this mess in the first place, and they aren't going to get us out.

In September, the pundits were amazed because consumer confidence had eroded. It will continue to erode. The solution is to stop government spending. Have you heard anyone, from either party, talk about reducing government spending? Of course not! You would be laughed out of Washington if you made such a stupid suggestion.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
In training for the Olympics

QUICKIE QQ--JON & KATE ARE STILL IN LOVE

2009-10-02T13:52:00.005-04:00

The morning show brought the startling news that there was trouble in paradise--Jon and Kate are continuing their struggle for dominance in their relationship. While I am a proponent of smaller government and fewer laws, I highly recommend--no, I beg--Congress to amend the Constitution to require that Jon and Kate stay married and live together in the house that has become the focal point of the television show. They will be allowed four hours per month to leave the premises, and all necessities will be brought into the house by delivery services. Also on hand will be two armed police officers to keep them from hitting each other or leaving the premises.

The second part of the Amendment will read: if any media outlet reports anything about Jon and Kate, the person doing the reporting will be put in prison for ten years, no parole, and fined $1,000,000. I would like to be the first to vote for the ratification of this Amendment.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your etiquette advisor

(268) 1812, LUCY, AND FOOTBALL

2009-09-29T14:40:00.006-04:00

December 24, 1814: The Treaty of Ghent is signed, ending the War of 1812. However, there was a massive British force on the way to New Orleans. General Andrew Jackson was unaware that a treaty had been signed and set up enormous fortifications. A huge battle ensued with the British sacrificing men in an effort to take the city of New Orleans. In the end, the British suffered more than 20,000 dead! The United States' casualties were eight dead and a small number wounded.

* * *

Lucy Vodden died yesterday after a long battle with lupus. She was the person immortalized in the Beatles tune, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". I knew her only because of the song. However, it was a sad day, and I remind everyone to gather your rosebuds while you may, old time is still a-flying (paraphrasing).

* * *

FOOTBALL: I reacquainted myself with Steve Wright in the last 30 days. He played on an undefeated State Championship team at Manual High School in Louisville, Kentucky when he was a Senior. He also played on a National Championship in Alabama when he was a Senior, and he was drafted by the Green Bay Packers. In his first four years with the Packers, they won four NFL Championships--the last two ending in Superbowl victories. He left the Packers because they would not give him a raise. Through a circuitous route, he ended up with the Chicago Bears. He wrote in his book, I'd Rather Be Wright, about how poorly the Bears treated Dick Butkus, one of the great Linebackers of all time. He had to take massive pain medication in order to be able to play. He was never given enough time to let his injuries heal. Earlier this year, I saw Butkus at a game on television. He was hunkered over, and he looked to be in poor shape. It was a shock seeing him.

Next, I read an article in Playboy Magazine about the Oakland Raiders of the 1970's. The team was shot full of horse testosterone and human growth hormone was available at every meal. Jim Otto recounts his experiences as a Center for the Raiders. He made every snap for 308 games in a row, which amounts to every snap for 15 years. He played with broken fingers, ribs, a broken jaw, kicked-in teeth, and pneumonia. He broke his nose more than 20 times. During the course of his career, and after his career, he had more than 50 surgeries, 12 knee replacements, and 2 shoulder replacements. He broke his back twice, and, in 2007, had to have his right leg amputated as a result of injuries he sustained while playing football. Meanwhile, the NFL has tried to cheap-out on retirement benefits for the older players and cheap-out on their medical expenses. The NFL is too concerned about excessive celebration in the End Zone and players taking their helmets off before they cross the out-of-bounds line. It pains me to watch these scumbags on television. I know it is not the fault of the current players, it is the organization at large.

Sincerely yours,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your servant of truth

(267) MORE DISCUSSIONS WITH ANONYMOUS

2009-09-25T11:44:00.003-04:00

Tidbit: March 18, 1940--Mussolini and Hitler announce that Italy has formed an alliance with Germany against England and France. Mussolini refers to the alliance as the Axis and says that Europe will revolve around that Axis.

* * *

Anonymous also said that the cost of medical care will be passed on to the rest of us. First, who are the rest of us? That is an amazing gap in deduction. And who is going to pay for the latest grand plan of the government? Answer: the rest of us, except the rest of us also get to pay taxes to support the grand plan, as well as our own insurance programs. Moreover, if we get to deduct our medical expenses, it is an entry on the tax return. The government's grand plan has to have another agency to dole out coverage. Already, Congress, not your doctor, has decided that Medicare will not pay more than a certain amount for a particular ailment. Your doctor is out of the equation, and politicians are deciding how much medical care a patient should receive.

Now, our President wants to set up a Waste-Control Commission. What nonsense! The Waste-Control group will be the most expensive part of the medical plan. Just for the heck of it, let's use me as a guinea pig. Suppose I am self-employed for the year. I have to pay both sides of FUTA, FICA, and feudal taxes. So out of every $1,000 I make, $76.50 goes to Big Brother. Then I pay 1%, or $10 into the Medicare fund, next I pay taxes on the full $1,000, no deduction allowed, then, when I retire, if I collect $1,000 per month, I get to pay income tax again on my money. Never mind that I have already paid taxes on the money when it was withheld. Next, Big Brother withholds $96 from my social security check to cover my Medicare expenses, and I get to pay a $39-per-month co-payment on Part D of Medicare.

A review is in order: $1,000 income less 35% tax leaves $650. $76.50 FICA, FUTA, and feudal, leaving a balance of $573.50. Less 1%, or $10, Medicare payment leaves $563.50.

Unfortunately, that's not the end of the story. Every month, I get to pay about $140 in co-payments on prescriptions and doctor bills, leaving me with a balance of $443.50, which leaves me feeling really stupid. I keep asking the question, 'Why do I go to work? What benefit is there?

Now for the best part: if you are lucky enough to work for a company who provides a benefit package, under the current system, your insurance costs are deductible to the company, and the employee gets the benefits tax-free. Not so if you are self-employed, but let's move on. The tax-free benefit is not going to last long because, if Big Brother gets his way, the benefits will be taxed, and, I assume the benefit social security gives those who are retired will also be taxed. Can't wait.

Now back to Anonymous: somehow, Mr. A believes that we can increase coverage and lower costs. That sounds impossible, and it is. Anyone who believes that should study the laws of Nature.

Respectfully submitted,
Your humble servant,
Donald M. Heavin

(266) COMMENT RESPONSES

2009-09-21T15:26:00.004-04:00

Ryan wrote and asked about the Baucus Bill that came out of the Finance Committee yesterday. The Bill, as advertised, will actually reduce the deficit. My thoughts are: there are dozens of bills that, allegedly, will reduce the deficit and, unfortunately, they don't work and usually result in an increase in the deficit. The only way to reduce the deficit is to stop spending, and, on my horizon, I don't see a single politician who is willing to stop spending.

Anonymous wrote a letter that says that my proposal of letting everyone deduct from their taxes the cost of health insurance would not solve the problem. His letter was long and thoughtful. I don't mind anyone disagreeing with me as long as the person is thinking, and Anonymous, while I disagree with the points he made, is thinking, which puts him four laps ahead of the average citizen.

I will attempt to answer some of the points that he made in his letter, on a piece-meal basis. First, he writes, "A tax deduction to cover the cost of health care would certainly not alleviate our current problems and for a couple of reasons. First, there is always the instance that you are currently maximizing your tax deductions, so allowing for additional possible deductions will do you no good because you may have already hit your limit, thereby not alleviating the growing cost of health care."

I don't exactly understand what Anonymous was saying. If my tax deductions exceed my income, I create a loss carry-forward and can deduct the costs next year. Since health care is the number one thing on the political agenda, people who pay for their own health care should get a benefit instead of being taxed. While there are 40-50 million people uninsured in this country, about 250 million people are insured. The problem stems from the insurance companies doing outrageous things like cancelling someone's insurance after 20 years or claiming they were not told about a pre-existing condition at the time the policy was issued. This constitutes poor treatment for the insured, and the insured should sue them for the torts of Outrage and Breech of Contract, however, it is almost impossible to sue these scumbags because our government, in an effort to reduce health costs, has passed legislation that make suits against insurance carriers almost impossible.

If Anonymous knows anyone who is on the current social security Medicare program, he should talk to them. He will find that there is a 100-page booklet that describes why co-payments have gone up, why prescription costs have gone up, and why health-insurance premiums have increased. I still work, and I pay 1% of my income to the Medicare fund, and I pay it with after-tax dollars. The same thing with social security. I pay my social-security contributions with after-tax dollars and, when I collect social security, I have to pay tax on the income. Everything in government is designed to create situations where the public has to pay more taxes.

* * *

It was a sad week because Mary Travers died. Peter, Paul, & Mary sang the great protest songs of the 1960's and 1970's. Since I was a flaming Republican in those days, I didn't enjoy her music as much as I have in recent years.

Ryan and Anonymous, keep thinking. I need to be challenged.

Sincerely yours,
Donald M. Heavrin,
A moving target

(265) MOVING

2009-09-14T15:49:00.003-04:00

I am sorry that I have not posted a new column for a few days. I have been moving the office and I have been buried under 16 tons of paper and furniture. Hoping for peace tomorrow, I submit the following observations:

Okay, no tax for those who make less than $250,000 per year. Boy, what a deal! Since I do not make $250,000 a year, I was grinning ear-to-ear. Someone else was going to have to pay for my health care--but wait, there's some fine print that has to be considered. President Obama said there would be no additional tax burden on those who make less than $250,000. However, I noticed in the fine print that folks who had insurance provided by their employers would be taxed on those benefits. Those folks make less than $250,000 a year, ergo, new taxes will be imposed on everyone who works and gets health-care benefits. What a deal!
Another government lie.

Ryan writes and asks if I really think we could have runaway inflation. That illustrates the prevailing public opinion. Somehow they think the government will defy the laws of physics and prosperity will be an infinite situation. Like most people, Ryan has not asked the question, 'What is inflated when we have inflation?' The obvious answer is the money supply, but no one seems to notice. When we have inflation, the government turns on the printing presses and prints as much money they think they can get away with at the moment. The public is unaware that the increase in the amount of money in circulation is the cause of inflation.

I also received a nice letter from Anonymous who argued that allowing a tax deduction for medical care was not practical. I shall answer this, hopefully, before the week is over. In the meantime, I say, if you can deduct oil changes and maintenance on your automobile that you use in business, you should certainly be able to deduct maintenance on your body. The letter from Anonymous was more detailed, and I will provide excerpts from his/her discussion.

Health and prosperity to everyone, and I hope that I am able to survive in the new office.

Sincerely yours,
Donald M. Heavrin,
A musician in the garden of life

(264) CONVERSATIONS WITH CREATOR

2009-08-31T16:33:00.007-04:00

19 years ago, Phillip Garrido and his wife kidnapped Jaycee Lee Dugard from a bus stop. He forced her to live in a box in his backyard for the last 18 years. He had sex with her on demand, and she, ultimately, brought two of his babies into this world. The neighbors complained, the police came, but were never able to find the girl or her two children, who lived in the backyard! Since he was a sex offender, he was visited from time to time by his parole officer, and the parole officers never noticed that he had a captive with two children living in his backyard. His wife, Nancy, was with him throughout this period of time, and she never reported this anomaly to the authorities. His reign of terror ended when he, stupidly, took the two children to distribute religious material. He claimed that he could communicate directly with God. A campus police officer became suspicious when she noticed that the two children were pale white and Garrido was behaving strangely toward them. One thing led to another, and, soon, he was apprehended, and Jaycee Lee, who had been held in captivity along with her two children, was free. He, proudly, told the authorities that the children were deeply religious and never used any curse words because they had been, "taught right."

Garrido claims to speak to God, on a daily basis, through a box that, presumably, was in his home. First things first: when I talk to God, I have found that when God wants to speak I do not need a man-made contraption to hear Him. He speaks loudly inside my head without any mechanical devices present. The world at-large, including a large number of the righteous and holy shouted, 'He's a nutcase! God does not communicate with nutcases! Burn him! Stone him!' In contrast, when President George W. Bush was talking to God through his hair-drier, the righteous and holy supported him to the bitter end and praised him for being a good Christian man who thought he talked to God on a daily basis. Remember, 25% of the public still thought he was doing a good job at the bitter end.

When Nancy Reagan controlled the White House scheduling by talking to an Astrologer, while not particularly religious, certain members of the public were skeptical and others cheered her on because she was a good Christian woman. Now that she has advocated stem-cell research, there has been an about-face in the religious community.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your Servant of Truth in the Garden of Life