You may have noticed that I haven’t been writing as much on my site and that a lot of the sexual and explicit nature has been taken down. There is a reason for this. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go into all my personal business on my site, but then that would mean that I wasn’t being true to my blog and to who I am. I always felt that I have been a very candid writer. I love writing. I really do. Yes, a lot of the things were of a sexual nature, but that is just who I am. Now, I realize that it is just an extension of who I am and not all of me.

Possums, I am in a terrible terrible place right now. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Well, I can still eat, but I am being plagued, and it is so hard for me to say this, but by an incubus spirit. What is an incubus spirit?

An incubus (nominal form constructed from the Latin verb, incubo, incubare, or “to lie upon”) is a demon in male form who, according to a number of mythological and legendary traditions, lies upon sleepers, especially women, in order to have intercourse with them. Its female counterpart is the succubus. 

Mind is the worse kind because I refused to give in and I have been fighting back, so it is making my life miserable in the hopes for me to give in. Which will never happen.

What have I learned?

Demons are no lie.

They do exist.

If they exist.

Satan exists.

And if the evil one exists, God, our Father exists, too.

If you are long time reader of my site you know that my writings are peppered with talk of my relationship and love of God. And it is now He, God, that I have turned to for help. I had to escape to Jamaica to be with my family and try to get healing. I have seen every witch doctor, spiritualist, pastor, and man of the cloth in order to get healing!

You all know that I have a young daughter, Ava, so I need to do everything in my eyes to save us both.  I don’t care if you judge me. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. But, what I do know is that after experiencing what I am going through, nothing phases me no more. I didn’t know that such things existed until I went online and found thousands of men and women being attacked by these things!

Sometimes, when you don’t have racism blatantly screaming in your face every day, especially when you live in Canada, mind you it still don’t stop the store merchants from following you around like a lap dog!

But I digress!

Sometimes,  you forget how far we have come, until you walk away from the movie, “The Help” with everyone not looking at you and one man walking up to you to say-“I’m Sorry.”

And after I made a quick trip to the bathroom to check in the mirror that I hadn’t forgotten to take off my doo-rag, you know the one that make me look like Aunt Jemima, but it does so well in keeping my hair in check! I still wondered to myself-have we come really that far? Or is it just more hidden?

This to me is a day of observance where we remember not only one man, but all those who fought for the rights of all citizens.

You know Possums, it takes a very telling woman who would go and push past a woman carrying post-Christmas candy marked down to fifty-cents, duck between two Black women discussing the finer qualities of dollar-store eye shadow, and slightly nudge/push forward and end up slightly tripping what looks like a young grandmother wearing a bad off-centered lace front wig reaching for the last mini-trumpet that says-”Happy New Year!” on it.

But, I did it!

And besides, Possums, I was the queen of the ball!

How do I know?

Cause at the time I was wearing a crown that I bought from the party place right on top of my head! I got many a looks that day and even some of envy from little girls and one boy. I figured when people saw me wearing a crown they thought of me as being eccentric, debonair and mysterious.

But, of course!

And then I come home like little boy blue with my horn, only to have my child have the audacity to say to me, “why did you buy that for? I’m not three!”

And then have me retort back-“Well, someone, somewhere in this house is going to blow something tonight!”

“And by the way, did you walk around outside with that crown on your head!!!”

Frig!

Possums, when did we get so old?

Let me tell teach you a lesson in that it is never to late to try something new, no matter what age. This is similar to those stories you read about those people running marathons when they are in their eighties. I know that if I ran a marathon at eighty as soon as the shoot the gun in the air, either half will drop dead from fright, or like me, my soul will be left behind, and after I got to the finish line, I would have to return to the beginning where my soul dropped off only to have my soul say to me-“bitch, what took you so long?”

Possums, I have to give it to Ava. At the ripe old age of seventeen, Ava has turned over a new leaf. She has got herself a new passion. She has scaled new heights! The feeling is very similar to the feeling you get when you are reaching for something in your goody drawer! Possums, my baby is now taking ballet!

Mind you she knows that it is too late to become a prima-donna. But, that’s not going to stop her from being one! Just kidding, she is a good girl. But, it don’t matter. She is doing it for herself!

And I my Possums, am so happy to finally become a stage-mother!  I just may give Dina Lohan a run for her money.

Oh, Possums, the joy I felt when I was in the line at the grocery store, “Miss, sorry, let me put back this extra chocolate. My daughter is in ballet.”

“Your daughter is in ballet? Oh, lovely!”

“Why, yes, yes she is.”

Or….

“Which pump madam, unleaded or super?”

“Unleaded please. Oh, I hope I won’t be late picking up my daughter from ballet.”

“You’s got a daughter in ballet?”

“Why, yes, yes I do.”

Or when I was at the bookstore, browsing through magazines, and slowly walking up and creeping out the Self-Help section when I realized I was the only one in it!

“Oh Miss, leaving so soon?”

“Yeah, I have to hurry up. I have to pick up my daughter at ballet!”

“Your daughter is in ballet?”

“Why, yes, yes she is.”

When Ava tried on her first black leotard, I felt like I was trying it on too. When Ava picked out her regulation pink tights, I felt like I was picking it out too. When Ava picked out her ballet shoes, I felt like I was picking them out too. Well, I actually squeezed my feet into her pair, cause…well I darn well wanted to! I didn’t get too far, cause when I turned around, I realized that half the store was looking at me! Possums, we drove all over Toronto buying up everything, but I didn’t care.

My daughter is in ballet!

Ava is a good egg. She doesn’t ask for much, but there are times when I feeling like my name is “Mommy, can you buy me…!”  This Christmas all she wanted was a pair of Doc Martens with the Union Jack flag all up on the front. You should have seen the look on my family members’ faces at our annual Christmas party at my Uncle’s house. For one, they were shocked by Ava’s size-she lost like 50 or 60 pounds. So, now she has a tighter ass, smaller uppity titties and a flat stomach. When everyone saw her they screamed, hooted and hollered. Kind of reminded me how far back of the woods and up the mountains my Black forefathers were! But, she basked in all the attention. And deservedly so!  But, when they saw her Doc Martens, and the fact that she was carrying a copy of Kurt Cobain’s diary, they all were even more surprised about her transformation.

Possums, I remember when I got my first pair of Doc Martens. I thought I was so cool. But, contrary to what my parents thought, I wore them because they were comfortable.

“You know that if you wear those big boots it means that you are a White supremacist!” said my Dad.

“Okay, Dad!”

Didn’t I tell you Possums? Far back of the woods and up the mountains my Black forefathers were!

“And when they see you, they are going to recruit you into their group!”

“Okay, Daaaaaad!”

But, unlike all other things, Ava has been sticking to this lifestyle. I personally think that she caught the I Wanna Be Like Elle Fanning Going to Ballet Syndrome! Ever since she saw Miss Elle Fanning trotting out of ballet class Ava has been talking about it non-stop! I even bought her a little black see-thru wrap around. So, Ava was good to go until….I picked Ava up from the fifth week of class. She wasn’t her glowing and happy self. She seem pissed.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“Can you believe that we had to do the barré today?”

“So, what you put your hand on the barré and went up and down on it?” I asked.

“Mom, it is not a man! The teacher told us that we had to lift up our legs and place it on the barré!”

“And what’s wrong with that? So, what did you say to the teacher?” I asked.

“I was like-ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!” shouted Ava in the car.

Possums, I laughed.

No.

I guffawed!

Ava went on to tell me that the teacher AND the assistant had to help Ava lift her legs onto the barré! And I am not even going to begin to tell you the lengths and depths of conversation she had about the pain in her legs, joints, and co-co!

“The teacher said I need to take Pilates or do yoga. So, I think that we need to go to that Lululemon place, so that I can get a yoga mat and new yoga clothes to match!” exclaimed Ava.

“Well, we got that yoga mat sitting there in the corner for over a year,” I responded.

“From the dollar store!”

“Whatever, Ava!”

“Mom, what exercises would you do to make your legs more spreadable?”

“Um….!”

“Common, it was so embarrassing having two women having to spread my legs open!”

Possums, I could see what she means.

I had to help her!

You know Possums, there comes a time in a person’s life when they are called to help another in a time of adversity. A time when one must face their own fears and challenges and not balk in the eyes of the unknown. Even if it means having to pry your daughter’s legs open! So, what does a mother have to do? I had to push my weight on them both dem legs!

I came across this book (above) when Ava saw it on a shelf of a book store recently. As I browsed through it I loved its kitschy tone and colourful  pictures. I love the innuendos and all the suggestions. And I love the love the fact that they put a Joan Holloway paper doll and clothes at the end of the book to play with. I am not surprised because she has the best figure and clothes to play with! But, I had no idea that “Roger Sterling” had written a book! Apparently, it has been out since November 2010. The description below is what I got from Amazon.

Sterling’s Gold: Wit and Wisdom of an Ad Man

About:  When it premiered in 2007, the Mad Men series sparked a cultural phenomenon that now boasts over three million viewers. With a long list of awards including three back-to-back Golden Globes and three consecutive Emmys for Outstanding Drama Series, Mad Men has captivated the world with its brilliant portrayal of the 1960s and stylish characters, including the dashing advertising mogul Roger Sterling. Directing and discovering some of the sharpest talents in the business, Roger has shown an uncanny flair for unique methods of motivation and a tireless genius, resulting in campaigns that raise the advertising standard across the country, and acquiring a reputation for his quips, barbs, and witticisms along the way. Presented as Roger’s memoir during the fourth season of Mad Men, and published as a lost classic,”f Sterling’s Gold is the entertaining collection of our favorite ad man’s best one-liners.
Roger Sterling’s pithy comments and observations amount to a unique window into the advertising world—a world that few among us are privileged to witness firsthand—as well as a commentary on life in New York City in the middle of the twentieth century. Cleverly designed and accented by design elements and attractive color photographs, and encased in an elegant, compact period package, it’s a must-have for any Mad Men fan.

Anyway, I had to rush out of this store quickly and put down the book because I was so distracted, cause I heard this baby screaming and screaming and I hate when I hear any child let out blood curdling screams cause it makes me want to cry too out of frustration, but not enough that I didn’t say to Ava, “Can’t the mother please put a tit or a chew toy in that baby’s mouth!”

Possums, I always say this.

What I didn’t expect that the whole magazine section would hear me and laugh! I smiled meekly and hot-tailed out of there!

It’s true what Ava says-I do whisper too loud!

No, Possums, I am not in the pic nowhere!  This is from someone’s site.

I think it is a fantastic idea to throw a Mad Men party! Non? I think I might throw one to usher in the new season. I used to throw Sex and The City parties back in the day, and only one friend and Ava (she had no choice, she was already there, and she watched the show, but I covered up her eyes when I remembered and I wasn’t caught up in the moment!) would come cause those were the only people who watched! And then I threw one for the finale and all my male cousins showed up because there was free eats (Chicken Fettuccine with Sautéed Spinach, Portobello Mushrooms in a light Alfredo sauce with peppercorn and pesto) and soft porn (via Sex and The City)!

I asked them to name me one, only one girl from the show and then they could get eats.

“Samantha!” they all said in unison.

Not surprised!

photo via bobbyjohnspeaks.blogspot.com

Possums, I don’t know whether to let out an “Amen”, or a “FUCK YA!”

Either way, Mad Men is finally returning!!! No more reality shows for me! Now I can return back to some “real” shows!

Well, you know what I mean!

According to L.A. Times blog,

Jon Hamm got ahead of AMC when he revealed that “Mad Men” would return to the air on March 25 for the show’s fifth season, a date confirmed by sources. 

Hamm mentioned the date offhandedly while appearing on Doug Benson’s podcast “Doug Loves Movies,” where he competed in a movie trivia tournament and bantered with fellow guests Anthony Jesknik and Paul F. Tompkins. “In 40 years you’ll be a … has-been,” Jeselnik teased Don Draper’s alter ego. “You’re right, Anthony,” Hamm responded without skipping a beat. “I look forward to the ensuing 40 years of awesomeness, however.”

The next season of “Mad Men” has been long delayed (Season 4 ended in the fall of 2010), at least in part by drawn-out contract negotiations among creator Matt Weiner, AMC and Lionsgate. Weiner previously expressed dismay about how that situation played out: “It was public, and there was no reason for that. But … the most important things for me are that after it’s over, I get to go back to work and that we get to do three more years of the show.”

drawing via hypertransitory