After the success of GREMLINS, it was decided that a sequel would make plenty of money and so in due course, one got the green light. Rumour has it that director Joe Dante said he’d only do it if he could do whatever he wanted.

What he wanted, apparently, was to take the original formula of horror-comedy, remove much of the horror and pump it full of slapstick and farce. As such, the movie is a poor relation to the original. Where GREMLINS felt fresh, this feels hackneyed. It starts off strongly, with Billy now working for a massive company in their skyscraper headquarters. Via a series of coincidences, he ends up with Gizmo hidden in his desk drawer. Unfortunately, a janitor comes along to fix a drinking water fountain just as Gizmo decides to pop his head out and have a look around. You can probably see where this is going.

Eventually, we have a whole skyscraper full of the evil Gremlins, some of whom are mutated thanks to Christopher Lee and his freaky science lab – one is half spider, one can talk, one is made of electricity, etc. Also in the skyscraper are a whole bunch of TV studios which give rise to lots of comedic situations for the Gremlins to pop up in, including a fair few in-jokes.

Overall though, it just doesn’t work as well as the original thanks to the totally different feel of the movie. It’s amusing in places, but it too frequently borders on the ridiculous for my taste.

My Rating: 5.5 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 6.0 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 106 mins | Buy it! ]

The latest live action made-for-TV movie of the popular kids show, ALIEN SWARM is based on the Alien Force version of the cartoon where Ben and Gwen have grown into their teens and have teamed up with Kevin E. Levin (who, as my sketchy knowledge of the show tells me, was a baddie in the earlier cartoons).

Anyway, the three kids now roll around in Kevin’s cool green car and put the smackdown on various aliens, trespassing on Earth. They investigate a group of shady teenagers who are trying to flog some black-market alien technology. Before our intrepid heroes can do anything about it though, a shady character in a trench-coat and hat takes control of the technology for sale – it turns out to be nano-bot things that fly around and infest people, taking over their minds and assimilating them into a hive mentality. With help from one of Ben’s childhood friends, an ex-Plumbers daughter called Elena, the friends have to solve the mystery of the flying nano-bots before the entire world is assimilated. I should probably explain here that members of the underground organisation dedicated to fighting alien threat are called Plumbers and Elena’s father was a scientist working for them – not that he’s handy at unblocking drains.

The plot is ludicrously simple and blindingly obvious (the twist is apparent within about 15 minutes of the opening credits) – I know the movie is based on an animated series and aimed at kids, but that’s is no excuse. The cartoon generally has better, more involving plots than this. The characters somehow come across as flat and boring in the movie, too – I guess because the writers felt that the backstory would already be very familiar to their audience. Fair enough, but I’d rather have seen more character development than there is. It seems the writers felt that in order to connect to any teenagers watching the movie, the best course of action would be to have all of the teenagers in the movie whine more.

On the plus side, the production values of this movie have been ramped up exponentially compared to the awful earlier live action flick, BEN 10: RACE AGAINST TIME. Yes, the style has changed from bright and colourful to dark and moody – but that’s just following the natural progression of the animated series. What really helps ALIEN SWARM to stand out in comparison to it’s predecessor is the huge ramp up in the quality of the CGI (Ben’s aliens look far less cartoon-like in this, for instance) and the step up in the quality of both acting and the general writing (the dialogue is much, much improved). For the most part, this actually looks like a movie rather than a feature-length episode.

So, it got some things right, it got some things wrong – if only the writers had been allowed to create a story to rival some of those seen in the animated series, this could have been an above average tie-in. As it is, it sits below par. Having said all of that, my 6-year old son, who is a huge Ben 10 fan, absolutely loved it (helped in no small part by having a real Kevin’s Cruiser to gawp at). I guess that says something, considering he’s well below the age I imagine ALIEN SWARM to be aimed at.

My Rating: 4 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 4.8 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 90 mins | Buy it! ]

Back in the early 80s, Chris Columbus was a struggling writer not long out of film school. Listening to the mice scampering around his apartment at night was a creepy enough sound to inspire him to write a screenplay featuring creatures called gremlins who were sadistic troublemakers. He intended that screenplay to act as a sample of his writing, to prove to would-be employers that he had talent. Fortunately, it passed across the desk of a certain Steven Spielberg who thought it was one of the most original things he’d read in a long time. So he bought it. Spielberg was apparently a fan of horror-comedy THE HOWLING and bagged the director, Joe Dante, for this new flick. After toning down the horror and adding more comedy, the original script was turned into an 80s favourite and was successful enough to become the fourth highest grossing film in the US in 1984.

The plot is pretty basic. A teenage boy, Billy, receives an odd animal for Christmas; it’s a creature called a Mogwai, named Gizmo, and it comes with a set of rules (1. Don’t expose it to bright light; 2. Don’t get it wet; 3. Don’t feed it after midnight) and a warning that the consequences could be dire if the rules are broken. Unfortunately, the rules are broken pretty quickly resulting in Gizmo having a glass of water spilled over it – which makes it give birth to lots more Mogwai. Unfortunately, thanks to a sabotaged clock, Billy then mistakenly feeds them after midnight and all hell breaks lose as they transform from cute, furry little Mogwai into evil, spikey Gremlins.

The Gremlins soon seek out water so they can replicate and before long, the entire town is over-run with the nasty blighters. In the ensuing havoc, Billy (and his girlfriend Kate) have to figure out a way to kill the Gremlins and end the nightmare.

So, the plot is fairly standard B-movie fare and definitely leans more towards comedy than horror. That’s not to say there aren’t some violent bits in it (like a Gremlin exploding in the microwave) – but mostly, the character design remains cutesy and comedic rather than getting too disgusting and horrifying.

As a movie, GREMLINS now has a huge nostalgia hit attached to it meaning people like me (that have fond memories of it) tend to gloss over its inadequacies. It remains huge fun to watch and is a firm Christmas favourite in my household. Just don’t expect anything cerebral.

My Rating: 6.5 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 7.0 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 106 mins | Buy it! ]

One of those gentle comedies that needs no thought, CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT is about the mess food writer Elizabeth Lane (Barbara Stanwyck) manages to get herself into when her austere boss and publisher, Alexander Yardley, orders her to entertain a wounded sailor at her farm for a traditional Christmas meal – and invites himself along for good measure. They’re all looking forward to meeting the husband and baby, seeing the farm and tasting the food that Lane is famous for – all as described in her column. The problem with the setup is that Elizabeth Lane doesn’t live on a farm in Connecticut, she lives in an apartment in New York; she’s single; and to add insult to injury, she can barely boil an egg let alone create the sumptuous feasts she describes in mouth-watering detail. The food comes from her chef friend Felix, who owns a restaurant around the corner from her apartment.

She has just about resigned to losing her job and all credibility when her long-time suitor John Sloan proposes to her again – well aware that she has no feelings for him, it seems his plan is to wear her down gradually. In a happy coincidence, Sloan owns a farm in Connecticut and, in return for fleshing out her column-based fantasies, becomes engaged to Lane (and tells her that she’ll probably fall in love with him eventually).

So, it looks like everything is covered – Sloan’s farm is perfect; his housekeeper also babysits for various local women, covering that lie; and Felix tags along for the ride in order to provide the food. Unfortunately, when the sailor arrives, it seems that he and Lane get along like a house on fire… And then everything starts to fall apart, with Sloan desperately trying to marry Lane without Yardley spotting anything; Lane desperately trying to avoid getting married in order to spend more time with the sailor; and the baby changing from a boy to a girl overnight.

As far as comedies go, CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT isn’t the funnies flick you’ll ever watch, but as far as Christmas movies go, it’s not bad. The outcome is pretty well signalled almost from the offset, but the web of lies that increasingly snares Lane is well thought out and it’s amusing to see her digging herself deeper and deeper into trouble. This movie is perfect for watching while lying on the sofa half-asleep after one of the many days of excess to come over the holidays. It’s not amazing, but it’s gentle fun and you don’t have to try very hard to follow it.

My Rating: 6 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 7.3 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 102 mins ]

Christmas comedy with Will Ferrell in one of his most enjoyable movies to date. He plays Buddy, a human raised in the North Pole as an elf after he managed to stow away on board Santa’s sleigh one year during the big man’s trip to the orphanage.

After years of trying to keep up with the other elves in making toys and wondering why he was so freakishly tall, Buddy comes to realise that he is as different as he’d feared and so strikes out into the big wild world to find his real father – a businessman that is so ruthless that he’s been put on Santa’s naughty list.

Once Buddy makes it to New York and starts hunting down his father, Christmas related gags abound, mainly revolving around him being mistaken as an employee of Macy’s as well as his attempts to bond with his new family.

In typical Ferrell style, Buddy is a character caricature – but rather than grating, his over the top performance seems to work in the confines of the schmaltzy Christmas movie. Indeed, the movie succeeds at delivering enough Hollywood sentimentality to make this a slightly saccharine-sweet but mostly fun feel-good trip.

OK, so it’s strictly a Christmas movie and won’t work at any other time of the year, but when you’re overflowing with the milk of human kindness, there’s something right about watching a slightly gawky Zooey Deschanel awkwardly singing Christmas songs while Will Ferrell is helping Santa to get his sleigh airborne again. The kids will like it but there’s plenty to enjoy for the adults too.

My Rating: 6.5 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 6.8 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 97 mins | Buy it! ]

In this average live-action remake of the classic Disney cartoon, Jeff Daniels plays Roger, a struggling computer games designer who is unsuccessfully trying to market a game featuring his Dalmatian, Pongo. He bumps into fashion designer Anita (Joely Richardson) and her dog Purdy, and promptly fall in love. Before long, the dogs have a litter and the humans are expecting one.

Shortly afterwards Anita’s boss, Cruella De Vil (Glenn Close in a magnificently over the top turn) shows up on her doorstep to look over some new designs and spots the dogs (excuse the pun). She immediately decides that their fur would make an amazing coat and, after failing to buy them, sets about stealing them. Luckily for the dogs, they are intelligent and capable of rational thought – easily out-thinking the bumbling idiots she hires to snatch the animals (Hugh Laurie and Mark Williams providing the butt for the abundant slapstick gags). Obviously, crime doesn’t pay, and while Roger and Anita are searching for their pets with the help of the local police, the dogs are busy serving up their own brand of justice to Cruella and her sidekicks.

This being a Disney flick, the violence is slapstick and the humour gentle, and although a few of the crazy-eyed shots of Glenn Close in full-on Cruella mode are quite freaky, there’s never any fear that the dogs are actually going to get cut up for De Vil’s latest fashion and never any doubt that the story won’t be resolved with a happy ending eventually. The kids found it enjoyable enough, but I found it an average family flick with nothing to really lift it to the next level and at several points felt the story was dragging a touch.

If your kids like dogs and slapstick (and let’s face it, most do), they’ll likely like 101 DALMATIANS – and it’s bound to be shown on one of the Disney channels over the Christmas period.

My Rating: 5.5 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 5.4 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 103 mins | Buy DVD ]

A much loved action movie in it’s own right, DIE HARD also qualifies as one of the best Christmas movies ever made, thanks to being set on Christmas Eve. As such, at this time of year, it’s almost the law that it should be watched, and as I’ve recently bought all four movies on bluray, I figured now would be a good time to peel off the shrink wrap.

Putting the movie on, I was instantly at home with the familiar plot – John McClane (Bruce Willis, in the role that defined him) goes to visit his estranged wife, Holly, for Christmas. While he’s waiting for her to finish her work party on the 30th floor of the Nakatomi Plaza, terrorists take over the building by force and crash the party, holding everyone hostage. Except for John, of course, who managed to slip away in the confusion. Barefoot and wearing a vest, he spends the next 120 minutes as the fly in the terrorists ointment, causing trouble for them at every opportunity while they ineffectually chase him around the top of the skyscraper.

The movie is so well known that there’s not much point in writing an in-depth review, but suffice it to say that it’s sat near the top of the Action genre since its release and it doesn’t look like it’ll ever be shifted, especially now it’s available on shiny bluray and looking better than ever. The acting is all of a high standard, especially Willis (it is, after all, the role that launched his movie career) and Alan Rickman who is a delight to watch as über-baddie Hans Gruber (and like Bruce, is in his first real movie role). There was far more humour than I remembered and I found myself chortling at several of the witty one-liners – and they’re not all reserved for Bruce, either.

All-in-all, you know what you’re going to get with DIE HARD. A splendid feast of action and comedy and one that never seems to feel tired or particularly old (despite some of the dodgy 80s hair on display). If you haven’t seen it recently, you should rewatch it, and soon.

My Rating: 8 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 8.3 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 131 mins | Buy Bluray ]

Almost a decade after Bob Clarke had shocked audiences with the holiday horror BLACK CHRISTMAS, he took a break from writing and directing dick and fart jokes in the PORKY’S franchise to create a wonderful little story about a boy, Ralphie, that wants nothing more in the world for Christmas than to get his hands on a Red Ryder BB gun – but has to convince every adult he comes into contact with (be it parents, teachers, even Santa) that it would make a perfect gift.

Set in the 1940s, the story is narrated by a grown up Ralphie who is reminiscing on that one particular Christmas. What makes this movie so special though isn’t finding out whether Ralphie achieves his quest and receives a Red Ryder on Christmas Day, but the myriad little adventures that went with growing up in 1940s America. Those adventures take the form of being bullied on the way to school (and discovering that most bullies ain’t so tough); being forced to wear a ridiculous outfit given to him by a crazy aunt; suffering a slip of the tongue and using one of the very worst swear words in the presence of a parent – and finding out the consequences of using that word; even the tiniest little thing like the sheer overwhelming excitement caused by the arrival of a long-awaited secret decoder coin that can be used to decipher the secret message at the end of his favourite radio show (and the crashing disappointment caused when that message is finally decoded).

While it’s set in the 1940s and most viewers aren’t going to know what it was like to want a BB gun more than anything else in the world, I can almost guarantee that you’ll find something that will set off a little spark of reminiscence in this movie, harking back to the best of your own childhood Christmases. And as everyone wants to feel warm, cuddly and happy at this time of year, A CHRISTMAS STORY really hits the mark and in doing so becomes one of simplest, yet most enjoyable, Christmas movies I’ve ever seen.

My Rating: 7.5 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 8.0 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 94 mins ]

A highly unlikeable man, Sidney Young (Simon Pegg), leaves his life in London when he gets the opportunity to fulfill his ambitions and go write for a glossy celebrity magazine in New York. Hoping he’s been hired for his rapier wit and knack for bursting the bubble of the rich and famous in print, he soon discovers that he’s quite wrong and is expected to write puff pieces like everybody else… That’s something that goes against his morale fibre and he spends most of the first two thirds annoying famous people and arguing with his colleagues. Including his fellow writer Alison Olsen (Kirsten Dunst), and it’s plain from very early on that eventually Young is going to see the error of his ways, stop trying to sleep with up-and-coming starlet Sophie Maes (Megan Fox) and go after Olson instead. So, it’s a straightforward romcom then.

There are no surprises or twists to keep you on your toes, it really is as simple as it seems. And it’s fun enough, if you can get past the fact you’re meant to be rooting for an objectionable arsebag in the form of Young – something that perhaps the writers realised too, as Young becomes less and less objectionable as the movie progresses. Couple that with the fact that Young’s immediate boss is an even bigger arsebag and eventually you’ll want to see Young succeed if only because his success will inevitably mean his boss’s failure.

Jeff Bridges seems underused as the magazine’s editor, Clayton Harding; a real shame as he is the best thing on-screen by some margin. Megan Fox, while undoubtedly hot, is clearly only there because she’s undoubtedly hot; another shame because it would be nice for her to be cast for her acting talent rather than what she looks like walking through a swimming pool with clothes clinging tightly to her body. Once Young turns towards being likeable, Pegg brings out the best in what he had to work with; but his on-screen chemistry with Dunst is a bit strange and feels more like brother/sister than boyfriend/girlfriend. For her part, Dunst is at her best when her character is in the catty spiteful stage of the relationship.

Overall, it’s just another average romcom. It’s not terrible, but it’s not brilliant either. One of those flicks you’ll watch one night when it’s on TV and you’re bored – and you’ll probably enjoy it.

My Rating: 6 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 6.8 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 110 mins ]

Michael Mann’s telling of the story of notorious American gangster John Dillinger, for me, ended up being much less than the sum of its parts. I mean, a director like Mann and two of the biggest names in Hollywood in Johnny Depp and Christian Bale doing a movie about a gangster during the 30s? That’s clearly going to be a kick-ass flick. At least, that’s what I was thinking when I sat down to watch it. I’d heard a few bad rumblings about it from friends when it was in the cinema and so I’d never gone to see it. Those bad reviews were pushed to the back of my mind though, I mean, it’s impossible to be that bad, surely?

Sadly, I really didn’t like it. I literally almost fell asleep. The pacing seemed set to glacial. I don’t mind a long film, and I don’t mind a slow paced film, but PUBLIC ENEMIES is on another level. It’s 140 minute running time felt like a plodding 240. Compounding the issue was a problem I had with the sound. I don’t know if it was my particular set-up or the bluray I was watching, but the audio was terrible. The centre channel (the one used for the vocals) seemed incredibly quiet; so much so that I could hardly hear some stretches of dialogue as they were swamped by the rest of the mix. It’s not a problem I’ve had since, so I’m not sure what was happening. It really distracted from the movie though.

Having said that, it wasn’t all bad. The style of the movie was really nicely judged, period cars and costumes looking great albeit slightly muted. The few scenes where something happened that piqued my interest were really good – notably the big Tommy gun based shootout towards the end.

Overall though, it’s not a movie I have any desire to ever see again. Shame, it could have been so much more.

My Rating: 5.5 out of 10 stars
[ IMDB rating: 7.3 / 10 | IMDB link | Running time: 140 mins ]