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FATHERS DAY GIFT IDEAS

Mon, 26 May 2008 09:40:14 -0700

A father is one of the two most important people in a child's life. He is looked up to and respected, but more often than not, fathers are forgotten or don't receive the recognition they deserve. This makes Father's Day the perfect opportunity to say thank you.

Gifts are a part of Father's Day. Sometimes it's difficult to find the perfect gift ideas that say, "I love you dad, and I appreciate all the sacrifices you've made for me." This year, forget about the tacky tie, and give your father a gift that he'll truly appreciate.

Finding a gift is quite simple; just think of all the activities your father enjoys, then surprise him by planning a full day together. The gift will show your appreciation, but it's the time spent together that will be the icing on the cake.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO RESPECT

Mon, 26 May 2008 09:32:36 -0700

The following are practical ways for a wife to implement the concept of C.H.A.I.R.S.. Try them out...share them with your loved one...ask for insight...

Conquests: I feel you are appreciating my pursuits in my field (my desire to work and achieve) when you:

• Tell me “thanks” for going to work everyday for the family
• Cheer my successes whether in business or in hobbies
• Ask me to talk about my dreams like you asked when we dated

Hierarchy: I feel you are appreciating my position as overseer (my desire to protect and provide and even die for you) when you:

• Say to me “I really do look up to you for feeling responsible for me”
• Tell me that you are deeply touched by the thought that I would die for you
• Praise my commitment to provide, i.e. “bring home the bacon”

Authority: I feel you are appreciating my power on your behalf (my desire to be strong, to lead and make decisions) when you:

• Tell me I’m strong as you squeeze my muscle (it’s symbolic)
• Praise my good decisions
• Honor my authority in front of the kids and differ with me in private

Insight: I feel you are appreciating my perspective and proposals (my desire to analyze and counsel) when you:

• Thank me for my advice and knowledge
• Let me fix things and applaud my solution orientation
• Tell me up-front you need “an ear” to listen and not a solution

Relationship: I feel you are valuing my partnership and pastimes (my desire for a shoulder-to-shoulder friendship) when you:

• Tell me you like me
• Do recreational activities with me, or watch me do them
• Encourage alone time for me; this energizes me to re-connect with you later

Sexuality: I feel you are appreciating my passions and pleasures (my desire for sexual intimacy) when you:

• Initiate periodically
• Respond more often
• Let me acknowledge my sexual temptations without shaming me

PRACTICAL WAYS TO LOVE

Mon, 26 May 2008 09:21:38 -0700

The following are practical ways for a husband to implement the concept of C.O.U.P.L.E.. Try them out...share them with your loved one...ask for insight...

Closeness: I feel a closeness with you (face to face and heart to heart) when you:

• Hold my hand
• Hug me
• Are affectionate without sexual intentions

Openness: I feel an openness with you (you are not secretly mad) when you:

• Share your feelings
• Tell me about your day and challenges
• Talk without harshness, guardedness or grunting

Understanding: I feel you understand me (empathize with me) when you:

• Listen to me (know when to give advice and when not to solve my problems)
• Repeat back what I sometimes say so I know you’re listening to me
• Express appreciation for my contribution and roles by saying, “I couldn’t do your job.”

Peacemaking: I feel at peace with you (issues are resolved) when you:

• Admit you are wrong and apologize by saying “I am sorry” (which is a turn on to a woman)
• Keep the relationship up to date, resolve the unresolved, and don’t say “forget it”
• Pray together after a hurtful time

Loyalty: I feel a loyalty from you (complete commitment) when you:

• Don’t look at other women
• Speak only positive things about me before family and friends; no airing of dirty laundry
• Do not bring up the “D” word (divorce) but are committed until death do us part

Esteem: I feel esteemed by you (treasured above others) when you:

• Verbally support and honor me in front of the children
• Praise me for what I do for you
• Value my opinion in the gray areas; not wrong, just different from you

Ten Ways To Honor Your Wife Every Day

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:40:01 -0700

Pray for her and ask her how you can help her grow in her individual relationship with God, including areas that don’t directly benefit you.
Not all loving touch needs to lead to physical intimacy. Our wives need to know that there are times when we are holding them because we love them and not because we are looking forward to our own pleasure.
If she is trying to improve herself, take note and encourage her, but make sure you don’t suggest that you’ll love her more after she improves herself.
If you are going out, offer to run errands for her while you are out. If she is going out, ask if there are things that you can don around the house while she is gone.
Encourage her time with other women, who understand what it means to be a woman, and can affirm her femininity in ways that only women can.
Let the things that matter to her matter to you. When she expresses a want or a desire, and it is within your ability to do it, make it happen for her.
Let pleasing her be enough to please you. Do things pleasing to her because you love her and not just so she’ll return the favor.
When she expresses a problem, realize that she’s probably not asking you to solve her problem or asking for advice, but just wants you to listen and care.
When she is troubled by something, even if you think it is nothing, remember that it is real to her and be supportive.
Give small gifts even when it is not her birthday. When you go to the store, pick up a rose (or her favorite flower...if you don’t know ask!!!). The gift doesn’t need to be big, but it says she was in your thoughts while you were apart.
BONUS: For those who read all the way through! Tell her you love her EVERYDAY!

The Five Love Languages 30 Second Assessment

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:57:27 -0700

I have found that the concept of Love and Respect for couples increases its benefits when integrated with other tools. One of those tools comes from the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. The following comes from Dr. Chapman’s website as a tool to enhance healthy relationships. This 30 second test will give you insight on how to better love or respect your mate by understanding how they give and receive either love or respect. Enjoy!

Please choose the following statement that is most true of you or your loved one.

I feel especially loved when people express how grateful you are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do.
I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.
I feel especially loved by someone who is brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love.
I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores.
I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact.

Answer Key: (click on underline to find out more about your love language)

You have chosen “Words of Affirmation” as your primary love language. You feel loved when another person tells you that he or she values you as a person and appreciates your special way with the most ordinary tasks.
You have chosen “Quality Time” as your primary love language. You feel closest to another person when you receive focus attention.
You have chosen ”Receiving Gifts” as your primary love language. Tangible expressions of love assure you that the other person is not only thinking of you, but that he or she cares enough to show it.
You have chosen “Acts of Service” as your primary love language. You feel most loved when someone helps you carry out your responsibilities.
You have chosen “Physical Touch” as your primary love language. You feel most loved when you literally make contact with another person. You enjoy being embraced and feeling another’s touch.