Liore and I are in a never-ending war with our fridge – we’re always trying to find a balance between having space for things like fresh produce and accommodating my many, many condiments, spices, and preserves that I use for cooking. This leads to frequent fridge audits that look like an episode of Hoarders (“do you really need three different kinds of pickled mango?”).

In a recent review of my pantry, I came to the realization that I have fully TEN kinds of curry in the house, be it paste, powder or bricks. I told Liore that, and she slowly turned to stare at me from the couch. “That’s crazy. YOU’RE crazy. How…why do you need that many kinds of curry?”

I defended myself the best way I know how – by running into the bathroom and locking the door. Later I cried for a bit while hugging my wok. Once Liore made me stop making a scene, I said I would write out my justification for why I need that many curries, and that we could publish it here – part for my vindication by the presumably curry-loving masses, partly as a weird form of public shaming. I believe by the end of this list I will have made my case, members of the Internet jury. Now buckle up, and get ready for a Sunday drive through Flavortown.

Not pictured: homemade khao soi paste, Raya rendang paste, my dignity.

1. S&B Golden Curry (Hot): The gold standard (sorry, had to) for instant Japanese curry, in my book. Liore doesn’t like it, but am not sure I could live without it. Japanese curry in general is unique in the curry pantheon for its flavor (I’ve heard some pretty bizarre theories on the sources of its distinctive warm, hearty taste- apples, Worcestershire sauce, black magic, etc…), and something about S&B’s formula hits my sweet spot. I mostly use this to make katsu curry and curry udon.
   
2. Patak’s Curry Paste (Hot): I rarely make Indian curries, although I am getting more interested in making homemade Indian pastes. For right now though, on the occasions I want to make an Indian curry, I just get lazy and reach for this.
   
3. Pyramide Ca Ri Dau An Do (Vietnamese Madras curry paste): In my kitchen, used almost exclusively to make Vietnamese chicken curry. I load it down with caramelized shallots and lemongrass and serve it over rice noodles with plenty of fresh diced cucumber and cherry tomatoes, fresh basil and mint, roasted peanuts and crispy fried shallots on top. Not strictly traditional? I don’t care, it’s delicious.
4. Pyramide Ca Ri Ni An Do (Vietnamese Madras curry powder): “But why do you need the same curry in paste AND powder”, you may ask. To which I reply, “shut up”. THEN I would reply, I use the powder when I am making sai ua, a Northeastern Thai sausage that I am kind of obsessed with. Strictly speaking, I should be using Burmese curry powder for sai ua, but this tastes very similar and is easy to get. For a process as time consuming as making sai ua, any little shortcut is welcome.
5. Spice Islands Curry Powder: I dunno, I think we really only use this to make chicken salad or egg salad. It doesn’t see a lot of use.
6. Mae Ploy Yellow Curry: Ahh, Thai curries. I could write entire essays on the many joys of Thai curry, but I will keep it brief. The three pre-made pastes I keep on hand are the ones I use the most, and thus can’t be arsed to make from scratch as often as I’d need to. Yellow curry is a joy on a cold night, loaded with carrots, onions and potatoes. I also use it as a principle ingredient to marinate chicken prior to deep-frying it. Try it sometime, it’s awesome.
7. Mae Ploy Panang Curry: Dark, rich and unctuous, add a dollop of natural, preservative-free peanut butter (or just a cup of fresh-roasted and crushed peanuts if you prefer) near the end of cooking to really nail the flavor.
   
8. Mae Ploy Green Curry: Usually prepared with chicken, Thai or Indian eggplant, maybe some green bell pepper, and plenty of fresh Thai basil at the end. I think this may be Liore’s favorite curry.
   
9. Home-made Thai Khao Soi paste: Because nobody that I have found in the US sells premade khao soi paste for making the eponymous noodle soup from Northern Thailand, I make my own and freeze it. I’m still perfecting my recipe, but Liore refuses to get khao soi at restaurants anymore because she claims mine is better, so I think I am on the right track. The secret, I think, is using plenty of toasted black cardamom and charred turmeric.
   
10. Raya Malaysian Rendang Paste: I don’t make rendang often (Liore has opinions about coconut in savory dishes), but this is to date the best premade rendang paste I have found. Still not quite right, though. I am probably going to have to start doing this from scratch too. Now I just have to make room in the freezer…

So there you have it, dear reader. That’s how I ended up with ten, count ‘em, TEN kinds of curry paste lurking in the pantry. I ask that you not judge me too harshly, for I did not choose the curry life. In the eternal quest for great food I have simply gone, as Warren Zevon once said, “where very few are chosen, and fewer still are called”. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to rearrange my collection of vinegars. Just…don’t count them, okay? I think I have to go hug my wok.

This week Liore, Arolaide, and Ellyndrial.. huh, talk about video games? Weird!

Overwatch is celebrating its first anniversary, and Aro reports on the eternal quest for cool skins in lockboxes. She also tried Heroes of the Storm as part of an Overwatch promotion, and has strong feelings on her first MOBA experience.

Activision and Bungie announced Destiny 2, and we are… a little excited? Elly is unsure why the game decided to go through the Battle.net launcher, while Liore thinks it’s a smooth marketing plan.

Liore played 30 hours of Persona 5 over a three day period, and she’s not ashamed! She talks about why the game is so good and how many monsters look like giant wangs (hint: more than 0).

This podcast is also available as an unedited video:

* Free Music Archive page for our theme, in THE crowd by The Years
* Aro’s Etsy store

We also had time to work on some crafty projects, and one of the things I finished was Phase One of my very first furniture makeover. The feller and I combined households almost three years ago now, and most of my furniture is 20-year-old IKEA stuff. In some cases it still looks and works great (after the apocalypse there will be nothing but cockroaches and Billy bookshelves), while others are not holding up as well. For example, this china cabinet:

It has all its original pieces, and does a fine job displaying glassware. It’s also birch veneer — no slight if you’re still rocking the IKEA birch, but it feels a little dated to me now — and it has some ugly scratches. Sounds like a good candidate for an IKEA hack! Can I do a furniture makeover in my balcony-less apartment? Suuuuuuure, what’s the worst that could happen?

What I did

Time: 6 hours
Cost: $100

1. Buy some stuff.
Did you know that your local Home Depot on a Friday night is totally a hot date spot for married couples? I learned this fact while shopping for project stuff.

• 120 grit sandpaper — this is if you’re sanding by hand, which I am
• Paint trays and rollers — you see brushes in this photo, but ignore them because mini-rollers worked way better
• Acetone — hey here’s a thing I learned: you need acetone to get primer out of brushes and rollers. Ask me about my new permanently stiff primer brush collection!
• Drawer hardware of your choice, and the tools to install it (a drill, in my case)
• Zinsser BIN Shellac Base primer — the internet said to use this on IKEA veneer, and it was right, so stick with this brand
• Paint! I went with Behr Premium Plus Interior/Exterior High-Gloss Enamel in Ultra Pure White
• A tarp or dropcloth — this helps a lot if you’re doing everything on a carpeted floor like a weird person

2. Wash, sand, and wash again

Give each surface a good hard sanding, about 4 minutes per side. This is super dusty process, so plan to wash everything after to remove all particulate before priming.

3. Drill holes for your hardware
This is the step I skipped, and I was wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong. Drill any new holes now!

4. Apply two coats of primer
The Zinsser primer dries in about 30 minutes, so applying a couple of coats is pretty quick. Let it cure at least overnight before any next steps.

5. Apply coats of paint until you’re happy (2 in my case)

How many coats of paint you’ll need depends on what color you’re using and how deep of a tone you want to establish. For me, I waited an hour and did a second coat and it worked fine. Again, I’m using a brush in this photo but the mini-roller was easier and did a better job. Let it cure at least overnight before any next steps.

6. Attach your new hardware
New drawer pulls are truly the easiest way to jazz up any piece of furniture. I was a little limited here because I had to choose hardware that (mostly) covered up the weird cut-outs from the old birch pulls. This was the hardest step for me! Veneer does not like being drilled through, and it blistered quite a bit. Also, lining things up evenly is a challenge.

7. Sit back and appreciate your work

Old cabinet:

New cabinet:

Heeeeey, that’s not bad!

Now that I’ve proven that this makeover can be done, I’m going to give the glass doors on the top segment the same treatment, and maybe paper the inside with funky self-adhesive con-tact paper.

In fact, I probably wouldn’t have watched the most recent, 2017 season of Sherlock, except the feller selected it for a recent sickie day on the couch. Below is my review, and be warned that it mentions all the spoilers, so don’t read it if you don’t want to know.

1. Season four felt like Sherlock fan fiction, only without the weird Tumblr sex. Sherlock is forced to tell Molly that he loves her! Watson is forced to rescue a broken Sherlock! Mycroft is absolutely useless and stupid at everything! Mrs. Hudson is pretty okay with random junkies hanging out in her home! Mary is immediately fridged, and the baby is promptly forgotten! Moriarty is back, except oh wait…

2. I suspect that the Sherlock team realized sometime after the end of Season One that they made a grievous error in killing off the show’s most interesting character, because they’ve been teasing at The Return of Moriarty ever since. There is one glorious moment when he reappears on the screen in S4 and I was like, “yes, finally, someone with a little pep who will cut through the self-indulgent nonsense” and then five minutes later they reveal that it was all a flashback and … screw you, Moffat!

3. I had heard that the villain of this season was Toby Jones, who is amazing in everything, and I was very much looking forward to an on-screen battle of wits. Instead, he was limited to a single episode, and while his character was interesting, his episode was more about Sherlock being a mess than murder or mystery. What a waste of a brilliant actor.

4. I loathe everything about Eurus Holmes and the final episode of this season (and quite possibly the series). Eurus, you see, is Sherlock and Mycroft’s SECRET SISTER that Sherlock had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN. She’s even more brilliant and even more crazy, right, and in five minutes of unsupervised conversation — granted to her by idiot Mycroft — she convinced Moriarty to record a bunch of hot reaction vines that she later put together into an audio-visual presentation of doom. But it’s okay, because she just wants to be loved. Ahhhhh.

5. Do you recall what Sherlock Holmes is famous for? Being a detective. You know what didn’t happen in Season 4? Solving any freaking mysteries! The whole season was all about feelings. The closest we got to detective work was some overly constructed made-for-television Saw-style “who dies next” nonsense. And then Mary shows up in a post-death video to absolve Watson and Holmes of any guilt for being extremely codependent narcissists, and the series ends on a montage of them solving mysteries together forever, happily. We, the viewer, do not get to see or enjoy any of these mysteries because obviously we are watching a Sherlock Holmes show because we want to see Cumberbatch and Freeman make sad faces at each other for five hours. They don’t even make out. It’s the worst.

Final review: UGH.

I had bed bugs three years ago and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. Not the bugs themselves, which were awful and gross and a huge pain in the ass, but at the end of the day they were just a bunch of stupid if persistent tiny creatures. What got to me was the sense of invasion — one’s own bed in one’s own home should be inviolate — and the knowledge that at any moment they were out there, waiting to feed on me while I was asleep.

The way to handle a bed bug problem can lend itself to some disordered thinking. For about a month I slept in a sleeping bag on a bare matress. In the morning I would put the matress up against the wall, seal the sleeping bag in a giant ziplock bag, and sprinkle diatomaceous earth all over the floor. I kept rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle to hose down suspect surfaces. I actually only ever saw a single bug after the initial gross discovery, but I remained constantly vigilant.

(I eventually moved, and on my way out I put all of my belongings in a rented box truck and had it super-heated. The process killed two hard drives and melted my bicycle tires, but the peace of mind was well worth it. It actually felt pretty cleansing! Not only no bed bugs — no moths, no strange bacteria in that third-hand copy of House of Leaves that I still haven’t read. I recommend it sometime even with an insect-free move.)

The point is, the whole thing was pretty traumatic.

Cue modern day. Life was just swell, and then.. we got ants.

There are ants in the baseboards of TWO different locations in my third-floor apartment. And okay, they’re ants, you don’t want them forraging in your home, but they don’t bite. They don’t want to live in your stuff. They’re not even a particularly subtle bug, and you can buy 6 ant traps for $5. But the ants have set off this round of deep panic within me that I didn’t even know was still there.

There is a small spot an inch from the floor on the jutting closet corner behind me right now where the paint has been knocked off and you can see the metal brace underneath. I know because every single time I turn around, my eyes dart to it, and I think, “yep, that’s just the divot in the paint, it’s still okay.” I have found four (4!) ants on my desk since this all started, and now at least once a minute I have to scan the surface to try and identify invaders. We found two ants in the kitchen yesterday — as people who love to cook the prospect of ants in the kitchen is some major bullshit — and I haven’t eaten at home since because I’m afraid of spilling something ant-licious.

Obviously, I dream about ants.

It’s the weirdest sensation, your body pumping adrenaline into you like you have to punch a bear RIGHT NOW while your brain knows that you’re wildly over-reacting. I feel a little like I’ve been taken hostage by my own nervous system. It’s awful.

I frequently find myself turning to my infinitely patient partner and thinking, “don’t talk about ants” as another AntFact(tm) that I learned from obsessive internet research tumbles out of my mouth. Sometimes he takes my hand, looks me in the eyes, and says, “They’re not bed bugs.” And, I mean, he’s right, but what if we wake up tomorrow and our entire home is just a rippling swarm of ants? What if they eat the fancy peanut butter I just bought and wiggle around on my grandmother’s blanket and live in your game controller and then one day you hit the X button and ants just come pouring out of it, huh? I realize most of my furniture is decades-old IKEA, but I earned the money to own that and it deserves more than to be an ant poop zone. (Do ants poop? God, I hadn’t even considered that until I said it just now. Nature is the worst.)

I’m not sure exactly why I wrote this, except it felt good to write down. If you or a loved one has phobia-induced anxiety attacks, I’m sorry. It totally sucks, and it will probably get better. Right?

This week Liore, Arolaide, and guest Vajra discuss the role of story in video games. The discussion was inspired by this article — you might want to read it before listening so you know exactly what we’re shouting about.

Is the pursuit of a good story hindering game development? Does environmental storytelling really count as a story? Have game writers, thus far, created anything better than a Twilight novel?

This podcast is also available as an unedited video:

* Free Music Archive page for our theme, in THE crowd by The Years
* Aro’s Etsy store

AliExpress, if you don’t already know about it, is a Chinese website that’s kind of a cross between Amazon and eBay. There are individual “stores” and sellers, but you buy things outright instead of any kind of bidding or auctioning system. It’s owned by mega-giant company Alibaba Group, and is currently the most visited e-commerce website in Russia. Most importantly, things are pretty cheap for Western currencies.

With that in mind, there are a few rules to satisfyingly shop from AliExpress:

1. Don’t buy anything edible or consumable.
2. Don’t buy electronics. That $30 smart watch seems cheap because it IS.
3. Don’t spend more on any single item than you’re willing to lose.
4. The clothing sizes are quite different, so go by measurements and not sizes.
5. Things with fabric might smell like terrifying chemical death when they arrive. Just leave them to sit in the garage for a week, and try not to think too much about it.

One of the great things about AliExpress is that shipping for individual consumer items is usually free, thanks to the fact that the mail system in China is heavily subsidized by the government. However, the free shipping options are also not particularly quick — some of my orders have arrived in 10 days, some in two weeks, and more over a month or even two.

I should also clarify the “willing to lose” rule, as well. AliExpress is a real e-commerce site backed by a giant multi-national respectable organization. Any money you spend on purchases goes through “AliPay”, which works like PayPal in that you have very clear and responsive paths to request a refund. However, much like with eBay some of the sellers can be unreliable, and a very small number will be outright scams. There’s nothing inherently dishonest about AliExpress, but you are ordering a widget from an anonymous person on the other side of the world, so it’s not an entirely risk-free venture.

It is, however, cheap, fun, and really easy to shop from your phone while lying in bed. (Not that I’ve ever done that. Noooope.) So what HAVE I bought from AliExpress? Behold my deliveries so far:

LED strips – Cost: $2.95

This LED strip came with a USB terminal and sticky tape on the back, perfect for television back lighting. Out of curiosity we checked with a friend-of-a-friend, a PhD who is a combustion expert, and between the low voltage of USB connections and all the fire retardants used in the production of televisions, this product is monumentally unlikely to be a fire hazard.

Nail plates – Cost: $.93 per plate!

Nail stamping plates are pretty much the ideal thing to buy off AliExpress — a simple manufactured good. All the plates I’ve received so far have worked perfectly, except the metal edges are very sharp. Be prepared to sand them down a bit for your own safety!

Stickers – Cost: $3.50 for 100 non-repeating stickers

Why do I need a pile of vinyl graffiti stickers? Why not?! These are fantastic, come in a huge variety of designs, and are made well. Decorate your laptop, computer case, pen bags, pets, whatever!

Handbags – Cost: $17.50 (or $600 at Bloomingdales)

This is, obviously, a completely legitimate Issey Miyake Bao Bao tote. It came with the expected tags, and the correct branding stamped into the “leather” and on the grommets and zipper pull, just like a real Bao Bao tote, which this is. Obviously.

Things I have ordered that have not yet arrived: nail polish ($3 per bottle), washi tape ($1 per roll), a selfie stick ($4, don’t judge me).

Anyway, if you enjoy retail therapy and cute little doodads, AliExpress has been an entirely enjoyable shopping experience and I highly recommend it.

And then there’s social media.

Twitch opened up an Affiliate Program today, basically giving people who don’t or can’t stream for over 40 hours a week the opportunity to make some money. The requirements are a lot lower than a full partnership, for example only needing 3 concurrent users on average over the last month. Needless to say, this news has overstimulated the novice streamer community, and my Twitter feed today is a maze of demands to view streams and encouraging viewers to buy cheap “bits”, or Twitch currency. I realize this is a symptom of my follower list as much as anything, but I bet this pattern is reflected in any hobby community on social media.

Here’s the problem: in an era when we are all encouraged to “be your own personal brand” and get our gig economy side hustle going, what is the difference between Jane Q. Streamer advertising her Hearthstone pack opening stream and Wendy’s advertising their newest cheeseburger? Both are designed to be a call to action, both want me to enjoy my experience in their relative establishments, and both hope to part me from my money and perhaps turn me into a fan who can be reliably counted upon to spend more money in the future. Yes, Jane makes a lot less money than “Wendy”, and they’re in different industries, but at the end of the day their goals are the same.

I’m picking on Twitch streamers here because I’m an old lady and it’s my pet peeve lately, but you can replace it with “food blog” or “crafting videos” or “fashion Instagram” or whatever a hobbyist can effectively monetize. Once you bring money and potential profit into the equation, things can get a little murky. There’s no super good answer to this because it’s impossible to say that Person A is mostly doing it for the art so hey, advertise away, while Person B is trying to pay their rent with their work so don’t show me their promotions.

But if we’re all brands now, as seems to rapidly become more and more the case, is there really any difference between a Nordstroms promotional tweet and a PewDiePie promotional tweet? Hobbyist and gamer culture so far has said that there is one, but I’m not so sure.

It’s been three weeks, so how are we feeling about Mass Effect: Andromeda? This week Liore, Arolaide, Ellyndrial, and friend Corranhorn get together to talk about the highs and the lows of forming new colonies in space. This episode does touch on some story spoilers from the first third of the game, and our general impressions of Andromeda and the characters you meet. We don’t give away a ton of early story points, but be aware if you’re very sensitive to spoilers!

Is the open world a good idea? Is the Tempest basically a space school bus? And most importantly, which companions are we snuggling??? We answer all the important questions, and talk about how the realities of Andromeda meet or neglect our expectations.

(Also, Liam is the worst.)

This podcast is also available as an unedited video:

* Free Music Archive page for our theme, in THE crowd by The Years
* Aro’s Etsy store

Before we get into April, let’s finish off March with a memories page:

I bought a set of Fineliner pens from Staedtler in March, which I use along with a big ol’ box of kids crayons for “drawing”. My art skills are still terrible, and I still don’t care. (And if you question whether sunshine needs to be marked down as a highlight of the month, you don’t live in the Pacific Northwest!)

My April calendar is a little minimalist this month.

Okay, on to the weekly spreads! This is my current set-up. Events — dated tasks — go on the left side, and date-sensitive tasks go on the right. The opposite page is for notes, observations, and tasks that can be done any time during the week. I like the style of this layout and how flexible it is, but most importantly it’s quick for me to draw up pages for the entire month at once, which is just handy for organization and makes my Mondays a little easier

April also saw the return of the daily trackers. I’ve tried these before and turned out to be pretty bad about updating them, but I saw this cute layout idea and figured it was time for another try. Some of these are things I want to nag myself about on a daily basis (drink more water, goober), while others are just metrics I’m interested to track, like how many blog posts I publish in a month.

Previously I was writing down television episodes in the daily notes, but this month I broke them out into their own little trackers. I’m not sure about this layout — first, I neglected to make room for additional seasons, which is particularly bad for a show like MST3k where I just hop around between them all. I’m also just not sure this displays what I want it to display. I know a lot of folks create a television-specific collection page, but that doesn’t do it for me. I’m not interested in ensuring that I watch an entire season, or really in a television show itself, but more in being able to look back in December and say, “huh, I binged 18 episodes of The West Wing in January”.

Also, while I write down in my daily notes if I watched a movie that day, I don’t have a collection page because I prefer to stick with my 7-year-old Letterboxd movie diary. Also also, none of this tracks my YouTube viewing, which is what I watch most of all. (Video games all got moved to their own annual chart, which I’ll show off in the next planning update.)

Basically, I need to seriously ponder my media journaling. Goals for May, I suppose!