There were times when I used to wonder how can one settle down in life, in every sense of the word. A Family, a stable job and probably end to education. I thought I was too young and too ambitious for all of that. I am the conquerer, the person who just tries to go from one thing to another, winning it all. But things have changed, tastes have changed, perspectives have changed.

I dont know if its the factor of age that has finally brought some so called wisdom or just the magic a girl can do in your life, I’m a very different person from what I was even two years ago. I no longer yearn for the latest and the best of electronic gadgets, I don’t think BMW is the only car that I’ll ever own and most of all, I don’t think romantic movies are a piece of crap.

May be its the marriage that is so close by or may be its the feeling of finally finding someone whom I want to spend the rest of life with, I want to be with her more than anything else. Career actually has taken a second priority and the elusive work-life balance, which I din’t give too hoots about before, suddenly has become very important. What I’m surprised about is that, Its not even that we haven’t stayed together for long now. We literally spent 24×7 in each others company for the past two years but I still miss her in the last one month I’ve been away from her and our engagement on May 5th, seems very far to be with her.

I want to be in a job that makes me be with her and keep telling her that she should also take up a job that lets her do so. I want to settle down in a city, have a happy family and share all the romantic moments with her. It suddenly feels all so nice and good, to be looking forward for the wedded life. Before I met her, whenever I watched a romantic movie, it was always a faceless girl, a hidden angel whom I could imagine my romantic moments with, but now its her and its amazing despite all the differences between us, how I feel we are so meant to be together.

It’s amazing how all my posts these days turn out to be about her, but I meant to write so many other things. Some other day, some other time. After all for till November when I’ll be officially her wedded husband, there are so many lonely nights to spend. So many thoughts to be penned. Adios!

]]> https://vigneswaralu.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/of-changed-perspectives/feed/ 0 vigneswaralu https://vigneswaralu.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/im-in-love/ https://vigneswaralu.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/im-in-love/#comments Fri, 29 Jun 2012 14:36:22 +0000 http://vigneswaralu.wordpress.com/?p=189 Continue reading →

It was interesting to get three different perspectives of this on one single evening. Two from very good friends and one from my own life. First dear friend is a graduate student in one of the good universities in US and his view was valid. He said despite a dull boring graduate life with no growth to look forward for the next few years and no salary hikes to expect, the thing that kept him interested was discovering new problems to work on every single day. That gave him the rush required to push through life which was devoid of all personal stuff including girl friends.

The second thought arose from my own experience. I got bored doing the same day to day stuff at job. Moved on to pursue masters in management, got bored of that in a while and then life took a whole new turn. It got all the more exciting and every day was new in one sense or the another. Last perspective was from a very good friend again. Her life is full of changes and boy they are all mostly bad. It is in these times when one wishes that monotony is much better than such changes. I sincerely pray that her life gets back to normal.

Ruminating on these different ideas, I end up thinking very philosophically, or one may even call it religious but there does seem to that something that changes times for people, creates experiences out of thin air and keeps an organism ticking be it the primal desire for food to the more sophisticated need for money or power. Call it whatever, precisely when I was thinking about all this when I came across this book in tamil whose title translates to “Secrets of Romance” (To all you dirty minds.. it’s not Kamasutra n its not anywhere near about sex)

The first article in the book goes on to describe how small changes, small surprises keeps the bond of marriage going on for ages and ages. It says, it is that small appreciation, that small break from routine for an unplanned outing, that small unexpected gift, that small burst of love and ever present respect for each other holds the bond of marriage and makes it enjoyable through one’s life. I haven’t experienced that part of life to comment on it, but looking at my parents makes me agree completely to this school of thought.

Along these lines came the thought that, what exactly people mean when they say “stay young at heart” ?. I believe staying young means being curious, curious of new things that bring about positive change. That passion for change seems to be driving force behind me. I’m not sure if I will ever conclusively have a reason for happiness but change seems to be definitely among the top reasons and in some strange butterfly theory fashion it seems to connect to everything else.

Warmth, such a beautiful feeling!

The feeling of being protected

Protected by my caring mother

Mother who sits over the warmth providing shell

Shell that is so pure and white

Whiteness that is in my heart

Heart that still seeks freedom

Freedom that can be only be by breaking

Breaking the shell that gives me warmth

Warmth from which I’m finally ready to break free…

” october maathathil andhi mazhai nerathil vaanavillai rasika vanden…

andhe nerathil yaarum illai thoorathil aval mattum vaanavillai rasika vandal.. “

Its been long since I listened to music and did nothing else except listen to music. Its been long since I posted too, but that doesnt matter. I have a special attachment to music, not quite unique, not quite common either. I listen to music, a lot of it but its very rare that I appreciate it. Some times, the music is so powerful that it takes your mind off everything else and makes you concentrate on the nuances of it, to flow with its stream and makes you feel a special something which cant be put rightly in words.

What makes music so godly, what makes one forget everything and adore it? I dont know. Many a times I have my head phones on, listen to every single beat of the drum, every single pluck of the guitar string forgetting the lyrics of they exist. They say music trancends language, I couldnt agree more.It doesnt need words to take your heart.The very grandeur of it can make you wonder the godliness of the creator and bow towards him.

I’m out of words, not really because I cant think but I dont want to. Music is beckoning. Adios.

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. Winston Churchill, corrected on this error once, responded to the young man who corrected him by saying “Young man, that is the kind of impudence up with which I will not put!

3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies endlessly over and over again

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren’t always necessary and shouldn’t be used to excess so don’t.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous and can be excessive

14. All generalizations are bad.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Don’t use no double negatives.

17. Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake (Unless they are as good as gold).

Starting sans everything,

Plunging into beau monde,

Belief of deserving,

Dreaming Wilder,

Thinking,

Awaiting Destiny,

Calculating moves,

The Result?

Hot seat or Cold Feet,

Life is too long….

Personally, many people tell this may be worse one could face in life and as damn lucky l’m, I joined with all pride into a wall street investment bank with dreams only to find myself out on street in two months. Well not literally. I din’t know ones course of action in such situations. I did a few things, largely unsuccessfull partly because I’m not from IIT and partly so I din’t have contacts.

Retrospecting my life a few months back, It was all very different. I dint join the firm knowing fully about the culture and the pay. The fixed pay quoted by the firm was huge by my standards. Had I joined any firm in my line of study it would have taken 6-7 years even to achieve this fixed pay. Once inside I realised the fixed pay was pittance when compared to the bonuses people get every year. So does that mean I redefine my standards. I never knew until I faced this. What is more important that, when I look for opportunities, which standards do I follow.

Thankfully before I broke down, a rescue was in place and I have my job again, well atleast for enough time to think from ab-initio again. Do I do that? Do I go back to my tech? With the global economic crisis looming I have the opinion every sector is risky enough. What ever may be my future, the ride was rocky and useful to think about oneself. To know where I stand and what is important.

Looking beyond, theres only one thing I will have in mind.When it comes to it, prepare for the worst and act accordingly. More so because even trivial stuff will be great.