Let my Heart Burn.

Letters to a close friend.

2012-09-07T03:52:00.000-07:00

.As strange and unblogable this might sound.I have come to realize that when i write things down .when i actually jot down my thoughts whatever strange and all over the place they might be.things start getting clearer .i dont know what is or why this is ?.. but it just is... its like one moment i have a whole cloud of ..asdfjkñl.. inside me then i write it down and its a sentence .. and i feel lighter .. This is why i like to journal..its kind of like a diary.but not ..at least not for me . because in a dairy .. i would write to my diary..hence the whole "Dear diary" thing.who is that?As young girl I attempted many times to keep one but lacked the disciplne to write in it.. so it never happened...later on I tried it again .. but with a different aproach.Not really even knowing what to write i would simply write what i was feeling .. what was going on in my life.yeah it was kind of like a diary, But I wasnt talking to the air..or to myslef.I was talking to God, I soon realized that someone was actually reading this thing.. theese entrys where like prayers,execept i would write them down instead of speaking them ..but they where prayers.. I was opening myslef up to him..its like writing a letter to a friend, who i couldnt see and didnt know how to reach..and this friend had access to my heart.. in the moment it seems something so natural.. so ordinary.but now realize how this little thing has actually made me grow so much closer to Him.i was trusting him with my deepest darkest secrets..that he already knew,but in giving theese to him .I was letting him into a part of me i myself didnt even know existed.. I now can read my journals i can now see how he was with me-even guiding the converstion . sometimes i would start my entry worried,confused and troubled and I could sense/read how it would suddenly shift to a peaceful resolution or an affirmation that im pretty certain came from him (because there is no way i could of come up with it), allthis in the same entry... back then i didnt know what was going on but now i see it, he was speaking to me . he actually listens.. and he knew exactly how to make me open up to him.. not because he doesnt already know whats going on inside me .but because he actually wants to hear from us he,he knows us better than we know ourselves. its all about us Knowing him .. he actually wants us to know him... and not just "know" him like theory..we can know our multiplication tables,.. but this never really gets to have any influence over our heart, emotions, spirit , soul.. does it ? well at least not for me.. its in my head.. i memorized it.. but that it.. see Jesus, hes not an assignment or a class or a checklist ....see he wants us to KNOW HIM .. AND he actually wants to be our friend.. our really close friend...our best friend... or something even closer that.. this has and still undeniably is part of my journey towards Him becoming that..and its undeniable that its him who started it in me .. why did i suddenly feel an urge to start writing it down? why was I writing it to him and not to my "Diary"?.. when i was a young 15 year old .. kind of curious about God .. wanting to know him but not knowing how ..clueless.and desperately wanting "the real deal".. i prayed for that exactly.. this seems like an answer to prayer now that i think about it .. im 20 now .. and i can tell the difference.. .. so yes .. i would recomend you get a journal:) .. and just do it... it might seem wierd in the begining but just write your heart out.. pour yourself out.. simply write it out..all of it.. its kind of like a letter to your closest friend/relative .. who wants to know all about your life and wants to know whats in your heart.. its okay to cry.. its ok not to not feel anything at all.. the fact the you are writing it down that you even considering it.. means that you care :) and he cares .. and deeply loves you and really wants to talk to you .. :) and he has alot to say.. he just wants us to come to Him :)

Cory Asbury - All Is For Your Glory (Onething 2011)

2012-08-28T23:35:00.001-07:00

favorite song right now .. this song is the prayer in my heart.. Lord just let me see your beauty

Katie Reed "If Your Love Was Like A Fine Wine..."

2012-08-26T23:34:00.001-07:00

:) this night was soo cool :) a couple minutes after this song .. the whole room became one big dance party ;it was quite cool :)..one of the countless crazy awsome things i experienced during the internship.. its so awsome and cool to rejoice and be with Jesus in his prescence .. i loved this night ..

I am Second® - Doug Bender

2012-08-24T01:22:00.001-07:00

this video brought me to tears.. i know what it feels like to not have friends ..i went through most of my school years as a loner ..until i was in 8th grade .. but now i get it,why I had to go through this. and itwhat made me get it was because Jesus telling me over and over "you are not .. and never have been alone .. i have always been with you " .. I prayed this exact prayer so many times as a kid .. and I know he heard me .He is such an amazing friend.. i have had "friends" in the past who have turned thier back on me but he never has..there is noone who can offer you the frienship that he can give you .. he is litterally living inside u.. he is litterally with you ALWAYS ..literally.. He FULLY Gets you .. and his love is unconditional.. and he never changes.. EVER.
Jesus thankyou that you not only love me .. but that you see me as a friend.. you saw something in me that you would think im worthy to have me as your friend..what kind of love is this? .. i dont have words to describe it .. but all I can do is thank him.. because his love has never failed me.
Jesus is pretty cool .. and being his friend is awsome.

Bethel Music- Come to Me (subtitles / sk titulky)

2012-08-22T22:57:00.001-07:00

when i hear this song :) i feel like he (Jesus) is singing the lyrics to me :´) and it makes me want to cry ..

Heidi Baker - Radical Love Equals Radical Obedience

2012-08-22T00:01:00.001-07:00

I love Heidi baker .. i dont know her .. but by the way she preaches.. its not hard to tell she knows Jesus... i like her ..
she inspires me .. all she did was say yes.. this gives me hope.. :) i want to do this too

GO! - Paul Washer ( this video stirrs me everytime i see it )

2012-08-01T23:41:00.001-07:00

God will do his work
GOD is doing his work
God will be glorified
God will be worshiped
God will be rejoiced in
the question is are you gonna be part of it?

THERE are no great men and women of God there are only tiny weak broken men with a merciful God

this has probably been one of the videos that has most marked me
I can stil hear "what part of Go dont you understand?" ..resouding in my head
i feel a calling to missions/ministry .. and this video haunts me .. this video pierced my heart..i want this .. i want this to be a reality in my heart..
missions is not about sending missionaries .. its about send the truth of God through those missionaries ..
I WANT TO KNOW GOD
I WANT TO SEEK TO KNOW HIIM..
His attributes.. His face .. HIM...
for the cry in my heart to be I MUST KNOW YOU..IF I DONT HAVE MORE OF YOU..I DIE
AAAAGHH..i remenber when i first saw this video .. i couldnt stop crying..
it stung.. i want to know what is feels to Violently pursue him..and for that to be what propels me in life..
pursue the very thing for which you where pursued.. TO KNOW HIM.. WHO ARE YOU? TO KNOW YOU .. THIS WILL BE MY MAGNIFICENT OBSSESION.. TO KNOW MY GOD..
that ..the reality that .. everything OUTSIDE OF JESUS CHRIST IS ABSOLUTLY absurd..
and all things where made for him through him and by him and in him .

BFF:) , (The still small voice)

2012-08-01T01:17:00.004-07:00

so im back in Honduras..and everything feels the same .. everything seems back to normal. it feels like if the last 6/7 months have been a dream of some sort .. but the changes in me are obvious .. i feel different ..i dont feel like the same girl who left to kansas city 7 months ago.. the biggest change that i notice in myself .. I NEED JESUS.. yes I knew i needed Jesus before leaving to kansascity.. but now my dependance on him soo marked.. he makes me who I am .. he gives me life . but not only that .. He is my friend .. and not just a Good friend .. a Really.. really close friend.. my best Friend .. and I feel the need to talk to him about everything and by everything i mean everything.. and if i dont bring it up.. He does .. and he cares .. he is a Good friend, I like Jesus .. I willingly choose his opinion on things that matter, and sometimes things you would think dont matter.. but i still ask him and he answers .. and he cares sometimes more than I do..

having Jesus as my friend.. seeing him as someone who deeply loves me .. and cares about my heart .. who wants to hear my voice ..even if its to tell him about thing you would think are dumb .. yes.. I have changed.. i loved him 6/7 months ago.. but i didnt know how to talk to him .. you could even say i was scared/intimidated of Him not liking me .. so i always kept certain distance,out of respect ..I thought in my mind..but something changed and it was in the prayerRoom that this happened .. we had to spend 6 hours in there ...everyday..oneday..something inside me clicked.. He wants me to talk to him... he even made it a point of saying my Voice is lovely (Songofsolomon2:14) .. so I started to talking to him the only way i knew how ..Just talking to him..Praying.. i started to notice that i was having conversations .. in my Head.. and the person i was talking to ..wasnt me .. one day it Hit me .. it felt like lighting had struck my heart.. HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME .. he speaks .. he has feelings .. and he likes to express them.. he has a heart and its not closed up.. it hit me again....I have a relationship with God..the almighty God...he likes me .. He calls me his Friend.. he Calls me his daughter..and I have acess to His heart.. i love him and he loves me ..you would think this is something i would already know .. technically i already knew this .. see I grew up learning about this .. i grew up singing about songs about Jesus loving me .. but i learned that this being my mind wasnt really enough for it to be real to me.. for it to be a reality .. it had to be inside my heart ... when Jesus told me He loved me .. this was when i started to believe it for real.. i knew this . but my heart had never experienced this. i was made For him.. i was made to love him back.. he loved me first... :) i love Jesus ..he is cool.. and he is a person you can be real with.. he is someone you can tell everything to , he wont be upset or surprised or angry.. see he already knows..he already know your heart.. and he sees our hearts longing for him .. since he placed that there..he is a good friend ..He is trustworthy.. he cares .. he listens .. and he wants to tell you whats on his heart.. but we have to take the time to listen.. and he waits for us to start the conversation. and Yes.. this is a conversation worth having .

What am i doing? Where am i?

2012-06-06T00:26:00.001-07:00

So i havent really written anything in a while and by a while i mean 6 months ..why? Well i was getting my mind and soul and emotions getting blown up and i was meeting the man i talk about in my blogpost and the man i want to do life with (Jesus)... I remenber agreeing with myslef ,making a personal commitment to write in this blog everything that i have learned and all that i experienced ..but its really hard to put into words ..and much more to put into a blogpost..i remenber trying to start a blogpost one time, i was feeling him feeling his prescence ..i was getting my mind blown and my emotions where all over the place (as in i couldnt stop crying,for some reason) but i couldnt even describe what i felt ..i didnt really know what was going on ..all i knew in that moment was that Jesus was close to me ...he went there ..to a place i never let anyone in and he liked it ..and it felt good ..it wasnt bad tears ( its really hard to explain) and this would happen quite a few times during this 6 months i disapeared in ...
What was i doing? u might be wondering..well i was (and currently am )in an internship in a ministry called IHOP (international house of prayer) (not the pancake place) in kansascity ,missouri ..the internship that i am in is called one thing and the best way to describe it is ...during six months you eat ,breathe ..Jesus ...u get teachings in the morning (and sometimes in the evening depending on the schedule) and then later u go to this place called the prayerRoom where u get to talk to Jesus about what u learned ..this is where the real deal happens ..where my heart gets blasted ..where i cry my eyes out and where the knowledge in my head goes to my heart..oh and the prayerRoom is ALWAYS on..(as in 24/7) when i was trying to explain to people what exactly i was coming to do here in kansas city i had trouble explaining this ..no i am not in the prayer room 24/7..and no i am not always praying even when i am in there ..there is cool music going on ..people worshiping Jesus ..and intercession ..most of the time both At the same time ..(most of the time i would just give them the link and tell them to see it for themselves ,yes its online 24/7) (the link is ihop.org/prayerroom.com) its sooo wierd and by wierd i mean bittersweet to think that there is litterally less than a week in a half left of this internship ..i still remener the first week ..i dont feel like her anymore ..im still zoe..but i feel different ,and i like it :) ..its gonna be hard to leave this place is soo unique ..in my 20 years of life ive never seen any place like this,but i quickly realized that the only thing that made this place special was the people ..and the yes in thier hearts ..and that they where all doing it together..but Jesus was in the center of everything (and i mean everything) and well in a place where Jesus is being worshipped 24/7 what else can we expect?..i love it :) this has to happen everywhere in the world ..Jesus is worthy of 24/7 ..its not too much ..in fact its not enough ..if human beings where able to it should be 24/8 or 64/90 ..he is worthy of it all .. :) i hope to see someday IHOP Honduras ,how?i have no idea ..but it should and if God wants to it will :) someday

2012-02-02T23:59:00.001-08:00

oh if we only knew <3

the vision

2011-09-05T23:29:00.000-07:00

The Vision
The vision?
The vision is JESUS- obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army.
And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisions.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldnt even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport. People write their addressess in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up on the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure. Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Ssatan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great "Well done" of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.
They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the UNDERGROUND. The whisper of history in the making foundations- shaking revolutionaries dreaming- once again mystery is scheming in whispers conspiracy is breathing....
This is the sound of the underground and the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tatoo on their back boasts "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain."
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. martyrs.
Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them?
And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter!

Waiting. Watching: 24-7-365.

Whatever it takes they will give: breaking the rules.
Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials.
The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? they hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity?

They would lay down their very lives- swap seats with the man on death row- guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair. With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA transfusion with JESUS. ( He breathes out, they breathe in.)

Their subconscious sings, They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdos!
Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here comes the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it willc ome easily; it will come soon. How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3-D.
And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great "Amen!" from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.

- Pete Greig- Author of RedMoonRising.

your calling is..

2011-08-31T22:01:00.000-07:00

"Your calling is ...
your calling is to Find out who he is .. To go on a Treasure hunt and Discover who he is ..

we are made to think thoughts of God, to take verses and press them into our minds and Ask Questions
questions are the doorway to revelation .. God asks us questions to give us revelation of who he is..
- Cory Russel

2011-07-12T23:39:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 3:17
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom

Let Me In (song by United Pursuit Band)

2011-07-02T00:07:00.000-07:00

the lyrics to this song <3 they move me so much ..this is what God feels for you.
open your heart and let me in <3 .. I am aching with love for you ,
I am longing for you ..
look my way , look my way , look my way my love
its gonna be great its gonna be wild .. its gonna be full of me

his heart is aching with love for you ..

abandonment

2011-06-29T00:01:00.001-07:00

this is what counts , this is what i want ..
how far can i Go?
God is looking at my heart
at the end of the day .. did i learn to love ?
one thing ..

sustain

2011-06-28T23:52:00.000-07:00

Cover me - there's a battlefield ahead.
Cover me - there's an enemy that wants to have my head.
Why do You let evil have its way? How can You let orphans die in vain?
When will You give answers for the pain?
Is there a place where hope can still sustain? ...where hope can still sustain?
Cover me as I walk this out alone - as I search deserted streets -
for a place to call my own.
I've wandered over all the earth - like an angel without wings.
I'm a song without a voice. I'm a ghost without a grave.
Why do You let evil have its way? How can You let orphans die in vain?
When will You give answers for the pain?
Is there a place where hope can still sustain? ...where hope can still sustain?

So please come, take the burdens that have held me down so long... so long...

And if I scream Your name again, will You reach my bloody hands?
God, I'm holding on to You - for You can make me new.
If I scream Your name again, will You reach my bloody hands?
God, I'm holding to Your arms. I've been holding on so long.
(If I scream Your name again, will You reach my bloody hands?
God, I'm holding on to You - for You can make me new.)
I've been holding on so long.
(If I scream Your name again, will You reach my bloody hands?
God, I'm holding on to You - for You can make me new.)
I've been holding on so long.

fire

2011-06-19T23:37:00.000-07:00

In the grace of God, our experience of Gods love is not to be quenched nor drowned by any flood. many have a quenched heart in which their ability to experience God love has been drowned. the truth about songs unlocks our heart by the fire of God

Set me (Jesus) as a seal upon your heart .. for love( Gods love in us) is a strong as death... its flames are flames of fire many waters (persecution,sin,condemnation,pressures) cannot quench this love, nor the Floods can drown it
song of songs 8:6-7

(from Mike Bickle-song of songs)

hope is ..

2011-06-05T21:57:00.000-07:00

.. i was listening to this song by misty Edwards ..
at one point during this song she says in the lyrics disillusionment is your gift for me
the moment i heard this.. it didnt make sense to me .. how can it ever be Good to be disappointed?
how can this be a gift?
now i know why ..now i know what this means.. God has been showing me somthing lately ..... this is .. if put my Hope in ANYTHING that isnt him i WILL be disappointed ..this world is going to disapoint me .. even the people that i look up to .. they are going to make mistakes . because people are unstable .. people change.. if i put my hope in people, my hope will be unstable.. i will have hope sometimes but..not always... if people fail me .. where does my hope Go?
God is showing how much i need him .. how much i need his guidance .. his counsel..
there comes a point in my life where im aware .. im aware he is the only one, he is the only one who will NEVER fail me .. he is the only TRUE source of Hope , here is where my faith needs to be.. i cant be without him.. he is what keeps me Going.. he is the only place where our faith and our hope will sustain .. we can find a temporary refuge somewhere else.. but it will eventually crumble .. its like finding refuge in a cardboard box when you are in a storm .. God is a rock .. and no matter what .. no matter how BIG and terrrible this storm is ..this rock is stable ..
this gives me so much peace.. i know that no matter what happens .. i have my Jesus .. he will not leave me .. he takes care of me . i find my peace my hope and my refuge in him ..
this world.. is getting more and more disturbing with time .. my heart breaks for it .. because i know not everyone knows about this Rock and it goes and hides inside a cardboard box ..
when the storm comes (and it will come ) oh I pray .. may you Get to know this refuge.. MAY YOU FEEL what this feels like .. may you feel his coverage.. may you feel his love. his shelter ..

take heart

2011-05-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

[Verse 1:]
There is a light
It burns brighter than the sun
He steals the night
And casts no shadow
There is hope
Should oceans rise and mountains fall
He never fails

So take heart
Let His love lead us through the night
Hold on to hope
And take courage again

In death by love
The fallen world was overcome
He wears the scars of our freedom
In His Name
All our fears are swept away
He never fails

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failure
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome
All our heartache
And all our pain
God our healer
He has overcome

All our burdens
And all our shame
God our freedom
He has overcome

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failures
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome

God our justice
God our grace
God our freedom
He has overcome

God our refuge
God our strength
God is with us
He has overcome

in arms

2011-05-29T23:33:00.000-07:00

you know that feeling .. when you are in his arms, he is calming your spirit .. giving you a peace that cannot be described or understood.. this is what this song make me feel .. and by him I mean my beautiful God :) i just want to be in his arms .. <3 and never leave this song can be downloaded free here ------> :) comeandlive.com http://www.comeandlive.com/CLD/TheEmberDays/index.html the video , is them singing it live what an amazing song..

a crack on the wall

2011-05-29T22:16:00.000-07:00

last night, in that moment .. im laying in my bed.. not falling asleep yet, but getting ready to... i started to pray, being vulnerable.. in front of My God .. just telling him my deepest thoughts.. i continued.. God brought an image to my mind.. i closed my eyes.. and i saw
it was a guy sitting in a dark room, he was sitting there looking into the darkness, i couldnt even see his face, i saw his shadow.. he looked comfortable there.. he was sitting in chair .. until there was sudenly a little crack on the wall.. and some light came in.. this light .. it bothered him.. he was accustomed to being in the dark.. this light , it hurt his eyes.. he tried covering the light .. putting things to cover the hole but when they touched the light they disintegrated this light was so strong he couldnt stop it.. he went close to where the light hit .. he see through the hole.. outside was so different .. it was warm.. he saw the sun ,he saw the landscape, he loooked at he where was..its was cold.. it was dark .. he was alone .. he looked around and he saw nothing worth staying for . he wants to go outside. he looks again through the hole he feels the warmth of the sunlight, the crack becomes bigger .. he gets closer ... starts looking for a way out , he gets desperate to leave.. he want to feel the suns warm embrace.. he starts looking .. he finds a switch .. he finds that he is in big room .. turns out there are other people there too..doing what he was doing just sitting there .. they dont like him .. the lights make them uncomfortable .. he sees the is a door.. someone came and turned the light off again.. but he already has his hand on the knob.. he opens the door.. even more light comes in ..some people yell at him.. some people look in shock ... he goes outside...

2011-05-02T23:31:00.000-07:00

found my old journal a couple days ago .. read through it,
i still remenber the day i wrote this .. i was probably 15 or 16 ..
it was during this age that i started having questions..
did anyone really care about me? (other than my parents of course) ..
for some reason ..i thought i was alone in this world ... me against .. well ..everyone
and since.. i knew i couldnt win against ..everyone.. i just shut myslef down..
and wouldnt let anyone in.. that way, i wouldnt be rejected.. ( this doesnt even make sense to me now. .. but back then it was so real to me)
as i look back .. what i needed the most was to feel loved, and when i found this amazing place
.. this never ending source of love.. i was just so in awe...
I know God is many things. he is this big majestic God.. .. sometimes i remember feeling intimidated .. he is so big ..so powerful.. and im so unperfect.. this sinner.. with so many flaws.. what if im not good enough? wouldnt he want someone better?
he came to me .. he knocked on my door.. he wants me
this majestic ... big powerful God. .. loves me , .. wants me .. cares about me ..
and loves me no matter what
his love keeps me going..
its genuine.. this love wont force its way into your heart.. it wont try to manipulate you .. it wont leave when you mess up..
this is the type of love he mentions .. this is the type of love he has for us..
his Love never fails.

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 8:37
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Proverbs 8:17

"I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me.

Everything

2011-04-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

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i think this skit speaks for itself..

your all i want.. your all i need .. your everything (8)

The Purpose of Your Life on a Starbuck's cup.

2011-02-13T20:42:00.000-08:00

Let It Rain

2011-01-11T19:19:00.000-08:00

we feel the rains of your spirit
we feel the winds of your love
now the heartbeat of heaven let us hear