Magikjaz Unplugged

Wicked Wednesday Trivia

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 14 Feb 2019 02:45:00 +0000

Warning: this is mostly a complaint rant

There's a bar near downtown that holds a horror movie screening on wednesdays followed but a trivia competition about the movie. We came the first week (January 9th ... Poltergeist) but haven't been back until tonight.

This week is Psycho. A classic. Accolades abound. But I can't enjoy it because there's a loud drunk chick a couple tables away and the host is trivia is at another table loudly talking and ridiculing the movie.

RIDICULING PSYCHO!!!!

I'm not fucking happy. All I can say is we better win tonight.

EDIT: WE WON

I know I've said this before, but .....

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Aug 2016 05:18:00 +0000

I'm coming back to blogging. I miss it so much. Someplace to share things I'm feeling, thinking, watching, etc.

Plus i think Facebook is getting tired of me.

So with that, I'm currently watching one of my favorite movies starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra and Esther Williams. "Take Me Out to the Ball Game".

Gene is my all time favorite.

Stuck in a funk

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 17 Mar 2016 06:27:00 +0000

I was perfectly fine yesterday. Okay, not fine, but okay. I mean, the best i can be with everything going on around me. Trying not to let the overwhelming stress of life and it's issues weigh me down. So much swirling in my head and around me, sometimes it's hard to breathe.

But i was doing okay.

Today i feel like I've been swallowed whole by a dark cloud of "why go on living". I can't explain it any better than that.

I'm feeling hurt and betrayed by an organization i have tried to help for the last 2 years. And i feel like I've dragged others into my own pit. And i don't know how to fix things.

And, aside from the organization, i feel like I've lost friends. People i thought had my back no matter what. Instead, they've pushed me aside and replaced me with bigger and better.

(Originally written months ago .... accidentally published today)

Hello I'm crazy

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 05:21:00 +0000

I haven't been super vocal about this on my blog, but I've been battling depression and anxiety for quite a few years now. It's a dark and ugly fight and it often feels like you're battling alone, even when your friends show undying support and love. The monster that is depression doesn't allow you to believe them. Toss in anxiety and stress and sometimes you turn into a paranoid asshole. The whole world is against you and conspiring to tear you down. Your friends are talking behind your back to each other about how horrible you are and how much they can't stand you.

That's how my most recent attack manifested.

Or sometimes tho you spend days in bed. Unable to move or even do the simplest of things like eat and shower. Not necessarily sleeping your days away, but sometimes, yes. And sometimes just laying there, staring at the ceiling, feeling so completely overwhelmed by everything you think you have to do that you can't even comprehend of a place to start, and consequently you bury your head back under the covers and pray for the world to just stop.

Or sometimes you go through life pretending everything is okay. Turning on the switch that hides your real face from the world. Going through the motions of your everyday life, pretending to the world around you that you're fine and all is great, when all you really wanna do is scream or cry or pack a bag and grab some cash and run away to a private island somewhere.

Or sometimes it may manifest itself in a way I haven't mentioned.

Depression and anxiety don't always go hand in hand. Though it usually does with me.

And depression doesn't necessarily mean sadness.

I thought it did when i was younger. I didn't understand how my older friend V, who was battling depression herself, couldn't just snap herself out of it. Why couldn't she just change her habits or thoughts or way of life to make herself not be depressed? I could. At least i thought so.

I didn't understand the how big of an obstacle depression truly is. Sure you can put on that happy face, but it doesn't solve anything. In fact, oftentimes it makes it worse. And even tho you pretend things are okay, the slightest thing can set you off and that depression manifests itself by becoming ugly anger and jealousy and hatred.

I didn't think i suffered from this monster when i was younger, but in retrospect i know i did. I just didn't understand. I called it being "anti social" and i remember my close friends telling me how they had to "walk on eggshells" around me. (Which pissed me off immensely). It's just recent years that i discovered that there was a name and a reason for the way i would feel.

It's more frequent now than it ever was, but I'm taking steps to win this war. I've recently changed my medication and am better in a way i haven't seen myself in years. The next step is obviously talking to a professional about things, but that had to wait until our financial situation is better. Even with insurance it's still kind of a luxury expense.

But in the meantime i have a support system around me that is amazing and no matter how much I've succumbed to the beast that is depression, they refuse to leave me to my own defenses.

Number one is my husband. And for that i am forever thankful to the universe for bringing us together. Without his understanding i don't think i would be at this point in my life.

That's not to discount my friends in any way. As a matter of fact, it's kind of a tie. That includes those i haven't even met irl, but are still so important to me. They lift me up in ways they don't even know. Without them, i couldn't be this strong.

Hello blog

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 03:58:00 +0000

i have missed you so much! how are you doing? i am so sorry I've been away for so long, but i promise i won't let it happen again. my brain needs more of an outlet than a status update or 140 characters can allow. please forgive me. i still love you.

Happy new year

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 03 Jan 2015 05:45:00 +0000

starting my nails again

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 06:29:00 +0000

I have received 2 nail polishes in my birchbox/ipsy recently, so I guess it's time to start trying to grow them out again. so here they are With the 2 new polishes. wish me luck.

Yes I'm back

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 10 Nov 2014 05:47:00 +0000

I have all these things in my head lately since I actually have time on my hands. WCT's Production of Rocky Horror was very successful. and I am very lucky to have been able to commit so much time and energy to it, thanks to my husband Being so supportive and my friends putting up with my crazy ass.

during the show rehearsals etc, I said something to my mom during a phone call. I said that everyone has a story. And it's true. everyone experiences everything differently. we all have a unique perspective on happenings in our life. and in this day and age of social connectivity, we should share those perspectives. maybe it would help everyone to understand everyone else.

or at least it could be a start.

anyway, I want to share my voice. again. I want to start to tell my story. past, present, and future.

with a smattering of TV, movies, books, Abs tasteless jokes.

Trip to The Henry Ford on MLK day.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 21:40:00 +0000

Nails update

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 21:35:00 +0000

So I bit 2 of my nails over the course of last week, but the rest of them are doing really well.

Yay me!!!!

Update on my Nails

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 07 Feb 2014 00:05:00 +0000

Two weeks!!!!!

It's been over a week

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 01 Feb 2014 06:56:00 +0000

So I know I posted about growing my nails out. Well, I bit them all off again shortly after that posting. Nerves. Sleepiness. Idk.

But I'm happy to report that I have not bitten my nails in a little over a week. I bought some other "help grow nails" stuff that you slather on twice a day (at least) that I paint on when I'm feeling an urge to pick or Bite.

And today they were long enough to use a file on to even out.

Yay me!!!

I'm hoping in another week, with the growing nails stuff I have, I may actually be able to paint them again.

It's been a rough day

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Jan 2014 07:20:00 +0000

I found out late last night that a dear friend is suffering poor health and may not live long. He's younger than I. I've known him since around 1996, so almost 20 years. I am devastated.

Also today was the funeral of the baby sister of a friend I've known since 2 nd grade (off and on). She was 34 and mother of 4 girls, all under 10. My heart aches for that family. If I lost my baby sister (who is close to the same age) I would be inconsolable.

I've been crying off and on all night and day.

I'm really afraid I might slip into a dark place emotionally. I didn't expect the funeral to hit me so hard. All I can do is hope for the best. And remember to take my happy pills.

Praline bacon

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 13 Jan 2014 23:14:00 +0000

Ran across this recipe on Facebook and decided to give it a try. I'll post the original source later, but essentially it was just Brown sugar and pecans pulsed into a fine grind then pressed into raw bacon. On both sides. Lay the bacon on a rack on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 until the sugar caramelizes. For us that was 20 minutes.

We also cooked regular bacon just in case and had it with an omelet.

So yummy!!!!!

Mini vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 04:05:00 +0000

Mom surprised us with a paid night at a local 4 star hotel. It ended up being a place in Dearborn I've wanted to stay at since FOREVER! had a wonderful relaxing time. Here are some pictures of the event.

New nail polish

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 06:20:00 +0000

I'm working on growing out my nails. So hubby surprised me with a new nail polish... called firefly. My geek heart loves it.

(Yeah the polish is messy. I have no remover to clean it up. That's on the shopping list for tomorrow)

Pleasant surprise

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 09 Jan 2014 23:30:00 +0000

It seems I have stopped biting my nails. So today I got some stuff to help my nails grow faster and stronger. I'm doing my own 5 day experiment on my hands. This is day one.

Yes another post

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 04 Jan 2014 07:40:00 +0000

I forgot how much I love posting my thoughts in a blog. This one sure needs work and re organizing and more attention paid to it and more regular insights, but I'll get back on track.

I'm sure I'll be posting more frequently in the days to come than I will in the Weeks to come, but hopefully not.

The end.
Xox

Cats

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 04 Jan 2014 06:47:00 +0000

As you may or may not know, I have 2 cats. A long haired Grey named kaguya and a short hair Calico named kohana. We recently took in a 3rd cat. A long haired tortie named Abby (normal).

The tortie has been separated from the other 2 since she got here 2 weeks ago. In a locked room. Her own litter, food and water. And we go in there every day to cuddle and pet and spend time with her.

The other day, I brought Her out in my arms and things went okay. Yesterday we let her out and she walked around but it got tense between her and the Calico so we locked the Calico in another room while she walked around investigating. Kaguya just hung out on the couch watching the whole thing. Eventually Abby went willingly back into her room and we unlocked kohana and all wad Good.

Well after that, I went in to cuddle with her and also work on some jewelry. It was a very unproductive night due to her climbing up on my shoulder every 40 minutes or so, but whatever. Finally I left the room so I could cool down (since the door is closed the spare room gets smoking hot) and watch some TV.

About 30 minutes pass and she starts crying pathetically from the room. I opened the door to go in and check on her and she ran out (she's never done that before) and began wandering around the house, meowing and hissing and growling. I finally was able to pick her up and got her back into her room and as I shut the door she freaked out and clawed the shit out of me as she jumped out of my arms.

I feel badly that she has to stay separated, but that's the rules right now. Our resident cats securities and safety take precedence. I'm just hoping that by following all the tricks I've found on the interwebz that we'll be able to eventually have a relatively drama free 3 cat home.

Blacklist

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 04 Jan 2014 01:46:00 +0000

Anyone else watching this show?

Seriously, I love it! James Spader is frigging phenomenal anyway, truly a man who gets better with age. ;-)

Playing catch up on episodes tonight with hubby. And in the process of doing so, I discovered that it's been renewed for a 2nd season! Yay!

Pictures from my nye celebration

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 05:53:00 +0000

Omg I've missed my blog

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 05:44:00 +0000

Dear blog how I have missed you. Facebook is fun, but it's not nearly as satisfying. Even if no one reads my thoughts here, I shall not forsake you like I did in 2013. I'm so sorry dear blog.

So, even tho I haven't started from day 1 in 2014, I plan on visiting you often and sharing my voice on teh interwebz.

Awake at 3:30 am

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 08:34:00 +0000

Allowed myself to fall asleep earlier while watching TV, only to wake up a scant 3 hours later. Since I couldn't fall back to sleep immediately, I have decided to read my "new"Stephen King book hubby got me for xmas. So far i'm liking it. The lead character has the same nickname as my little sister (pronounced lee-see) and it's less horror than it is dark supernatural forces creeping into someone's everyday life. I'm only a couple hundred pages in tho, so we'll see.

Probably gonna stay awake until hubby gets up and leaves for work, at which time I'll try for another nap lol.

Xox

Feeling like crap today

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 04:30:00 +0000

Stayed up too late last night and slept until almost 3pm today. The antibiotics I'm on for the mouth infection are kicking my butt and making me feel like crap. I've never felt this bad on antibiotics before. Must be because I'm getting old lol.

Luckily I have a very understanding husband who let me sleep super late and didn't harass me about anything today. He let me be a complete slug. Well, not complete. I did do laundry today. Even put the clothes away. (which is my least favorite part of laundry) And I got to Michael's craft store to get stuff to make a custom pendant for my sister. Was supposed to finish it today, but I'll get it done tomorrow.

And, in closing, I must say that I am officially an SEC football fan. Alabama was impressive tonight. Looking forward to the draft and college football next year.

xox

Cat imitates hubby

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 02:45:00 +0000