Sometimes (if you are very, very lucky) it goes on vacation (for some unknown reason), but you’re never sure when it’s going to return. But return it does. To kick you.

It’s your inner critic.

When what you really need is a friend – what you get is a voice in your head that distorts what you’re seeing with really non-specific and non-descript instructions for living:

Do better.

Try harder.

You’re screwing up.

You’re lazy.

You’re stupid.

You do not have enough, do enough nor are you enough.

(I need not go on because that’s what the inner critic does … it goes on and on and on).

Maybe you’ve been wondering what you’re supposed to do when your inner critic is out of control? Or perhaps you’ve puzzled over how to live with your inner critic?

I know I have. And I know that I’m not alone.

Here are three steps that I use and teach for dealing with your inner critic in a really productive and hopeful way. (Psst … it’s part of learning how to become your own career advisor):

1. Accept that you have an inner critic.

The inner critic isn’t evil (really, it’s not – it just sounds that way). It genuinely thinks it’s helping you and trying it’s best to do so. Know this to understand that you can talk to it and get more information from it that might actually be useful.

Note: It’s not useful to ignore it, avoid it, think that it’s bad, or unquestionably right (without getting more information first).

2. Ask for details – really, really specific details. Then decide.

What does “do better” mean exactly? What would your inner critic consider to be “not lazy” right now? How does it personally define “stupid”?

The inner critic will reveal specifics – which you could then potentially do something about that’s actually useful.

Maybe your inner critic thinks you should be making more money.

How much exactly? Name a number.

You’ve been advised by the inner critic to “under promise and over deliver.”

Well, that’s nice.

What is the promised date and deliverable first? And then: What would you like to offer instead in an ideal circumstance that is over and above what is promised (being very specific of course)?

Now (for the crux move). In the light of reality, is there something useful in what the inner critic is offering?

Maybe or maybe not.

The fact remains: You live in your real life. The inner critic, on the other hand, lives in the comfort of your head. Maybe it’s time to seriously consider charging it rent for such luxurious real estate and accommodations?

Comedy aside, you ultimately decide what really serves your life (versus what diminishes it) – what’s realistic for you and how you could implement something that your inner critic suggests that you are ultimately in agreement with.

3. Listen deeply … for what’s really there.

What your inner critic chooses to say really represents feelings that you may not be consciously acknowledging. In other words your inner critic is likely trying to get your attention in the only way that it knows how.

And it will “up the ante” as need be. Not unlike a child starved for attention.

(And no, this isn’t silly. It’s serious. It’s the thinking that it’s silly that makes the inner critic’s existence more painful for you.)

Beginning with yourself – learning empathy through consistent practice is one of the highest purposes a human being can attend to. And when you know how to offer it to yourself in times of need by recognizing when it’s needed, you will have mental peace, not to mention clarity, confidence and the experience of joy.

Know that you will always have your inner critic with you, but it doesn’t have to take up all the space anymore. Just a little. It doesn’t want to be disowned.

Eventually it acts up just enough to remind you that you are in need of self- acknowledgement or self-empathy. Except the difference now is that you know that you have control over your inner critic, and that it doesn’t control you.

The post 3 steps for reigning in that inner critic appeared first on Career Counseling for Your Career Bliss | make. believe. for real..

Career bliss was a dream, a fantasy, a fairy tale. An unrealistic concept. This is because I had accepted ‘stupid’, ‘loser’, and ‘slut’ as alternatives to my name and the truth about my being. I was living to merely survive.

Your mental diet is a collection of thoughts repeated until they become a system of beliefs that determine your experience of life.

I was anxious all of the time because I had very specific instructions to live up to for cleaning and how I was to appear in public. I also had the dubious task of guessing what else was expected of me without being told.

Most of the time I thought I was crazy because my version of life was given to me and accepted in exchange for food and warmth and shelter.

If I didn’t do as I was specified to or guess accurately, the privilege of spending time with my friends was revoked. And that was the least painful of punishments.

It was always so hard to explain myself to others.

Those who knew and liked me were challenged in our friendship because they had abided by rules that I followed. I couldn’t risk offending my primary relationship and as a result it hurt people to be my friend.

Why wouldn’t I stand up for myself? People who knew only me wondered.

They didn’t know how quickly things could escalate.

Why didn’t I just leave? Those that knew the truth questioned.

They didn’t get that if I did leave this relationship that I would be leaving them too.

I tried to look unaffected when my skin came into contact with anger, frustration and resentment for reasons that came into being before my existence. I had learned through experience that showing my pain was an invitation for more. So to feel safe I became a liar and a fake.

I was always reminded that neither my wounds nor my words would make anyone want to come help me. And to ensure my obedience this individual would tell people we both knew of the lies I would be caught telling or the things I would do that sounded the most embarrassing to share.

My reputation was not my own and this scared me most of all.

Even after I left, people that knew both of us told me that I was making a big deal out of nothing. They said that they didn’t know or understand what had really happened. That they couldn’t be sure about what happened or how it did. They could not acknowledge my experience and their doubts were poison to my recovery.

When others aren’t able to give their support for your healing, you leave them because it’s part of doing whatever it takes. Your healing is ultimately your responsibility and your keys to your own freedom.

Trusting myself was the hardest thing I ever had to learn how to do because I habitually let myself down to stay in that relationship. I may have had the courage to leave an abusive relationship, but it took awhile to leave it mentally because habits of thoughts and behaviours were in place that needed replacing to match who I was choosing to be, which was in alignment with who I really was.

It takes practice to let go of the story that your very nature is unworthy and that joy is not in your control.

Little by little – sometimes even feeling like I was moving backwards and upside down, I saw change mirrored back to me as my life. And then that change accelerated faster than I ever thought possible.

A tipping point is always inevitable.

The emotional distance from this relationship began to match the physical distance that I had initiated. I began to redefine how I saw myself as I touched into my essence of being.

It took the help of an awakened therapist that didn’t have “perfect pictures” of how relationships ought to be. Because the fact that I’d left and severed connection to my own mother was just unthinkable to most.

While I acknowledge the survival support I received growing up, a continued relationship came at a price that I was no longer willing to pay in physical and spiritual adulthood. Giving airtime and fighting the opinions of others including therapists with impressive credentials, but no courage of their own, I realized:

If someone can’t really see you, they can’t help you.

And yet, for all of this, I am grateful. If not for this experience in my life, I would not truly have the credentials of experience to do what I do in the way that feels most blissful. And this is true for your struggles and career bliss reality too.

To move internally from the experience of being downtrodden, inauthentic, discouraged, filled with self-doubt, and utterly confused about my ability to create a life worth living doing work that felt meaningful, not to mention endlessly whirring around in my head questioning whether life could possibly have meaning to a place of career bliss is what I know how to do because that’s what I’ve done.

That’s why I’m not the Career Counselor for people who just want a job or a personality test or to get some ideas for what they should do for work that isn’t what they’re doing now. Not that there’s anything that’s wrong with wanting that, it’s just not blissful to me.

Career Counseling is about being paid to be authentically you in what you do and how you do it, permission for freedom in how you do what you do, not to mention creative in what you do and how you do it.

Receiving your whole life without thinking that something is wrong with you or your real desires is what allows you to mine for the credentials in your own life that make work something that you actually want to do. That’s something that institutional credentials alone just cannot offer (so it’s time to stop expecting them to).

To look for your own real life credentials, this creating career clarity exercise is the perfect place to start exploring.

The post credentials for career bliss come from real life (an untold story) appeared first on Career Counseling for Your Career Bliss | make. believe. for real..

You grow up and are deeply fearful of things that make you think that it’s just better to stay where you are. And while you’re at it, maybe stay how you are too.

Hey – I bet sometimes you feel just like the people who were afraid they’d fall off the edge of a flat earth if they sailed too far into the horizon.

These pioneer travelers didn’t know what they had not yet experienced for themselves because they hadn’t travelled beyond what the eye could see. What they wanted was to avoid unpleasantness, but they were also averting adventure, possibility, and freedom because the world turned out to not be flat at all.

Imagine that. It was REALLY OKAY after all to journey further.

There was indeed something to become aware of out there beyond the previously defined known.

And this is the charming part of being alive: For what was beyond vision was and wasn’t there at the same time until the unbounded globe was both experienced and discovered because of a precious inherent human thing called curiosity.

Becoming aware of the sphere that the Earth really is required courage, not to mention unattaching to what was previously held as the only truth and possibility.

The world was made bigger in the mind, though it was never as small as believed to be in the first place.

And making your world bigger in terms of experiencing your own career bliss as your very own career advisor is not unlike learning that the world is a big ball of Life supported in the Universe and aided by forces unseen.

(Isn’t it humbling to think that you’re hurling through space just going about your day-to-day – even while reading this?)

In the spirit of expanding horizons when you explore your own inner world, learning what’s REALLY OKAY will lead to your work, with love. So, here, for you are 19 of my very best career advisor wisdom bites from the last five years and a 300 client collective (so far!):

:: It’s REALLY OKAY for others (no matter who they are to you) to not understand what your idea of career bliss is – and for you to take the steps you need to anyway.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to have an opinion and share it – it’s your opinion after all and you’re not asking anyone else to substitute his or her own for yours (you may bump into people who need to be reminded of this).

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to love what you love – you have the honor of deciding what to do with what you know you love (hint: ignoring what or who you love will create unpleasantness).

:: It’s REALLY OKAY that you’re not like anybody else – yeah, you’re annoyed about it sometimes I know, but you really don’t want to be like anyone else anyways so you’ll need to do research into what’s available in the big wide world that’s right for you.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY that what you really want takes time – so make sure that your time means something to you.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY that you’re not where you think you should be, doing what you think you should be doing – you actually don’t know that that’s the case and insight as your own career advisor (which is faster than hindsight) will tell you differently.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY that someone really loves you for you – it happens because they want to love you. You make their life more wonderful somehow.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY for someone to hate you just for being yourself – yes, it’s sad (and even annoying) but trying to win people over just makes other people hate you and disconnects you from your career advisor wisdom.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to want what you truly want – it’s how you know what your path is, even when you don’t think you know what your path is.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to buy the one you really want – this way, you actually satisfy the need, savour the benefits and ultimately want less because you enjoy more.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to admit you’ve made mistakes and to fully experience failure – you won’t die, but old ideas of who you are or need to be will. This is the freedom that you seek.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to invest in the resources that you need – it’s the spending (as opposed to investing) that keeps your fears alive that you don’t benefit from.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY (as in REALLY, REALLY OKAY) to not have the answers – certainty is an act that doesn’t even come close to what it means to have clarity that can only come to a still mind.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to hear someone criticize your real aspirations and to then to stop telling them anything at all about it – real desires and dreams after all need to know who is friend and who is foe in order to come true at all.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to not have things all figured out – you need to commit instead to figuring things out so that you can keep moving forward.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to give yourself permission to do that big or even “itty bitty” something that you really want to – you’re the only real author(ity) of what you do or perhaps, more potently how you do it .

:: It’s REALLY OKAY that people are jealous of you – it’s not your fault when others struggle to love themselves enough to find a way to create the life that they want.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to not want to have children – your life asks you to develop mothering and fathering skills that are required to give birth to your dreams anyway.

:: It’s REALLY OKAY to rest and reflect – it’s how you develop clarity and take precise steps without wasting a single drop of your precious time and energy.

Now, you tell me (I’d love to know), what have you learned is REALLY OKAY that has made you realize more of your own horizon?

The post 19 career advisor wisdom bites for your own career bliss appeared first on Career Counseling for Your Career Bliss | make. believe. for real..

Down the hall.

I half jogged and half walked out of the bedroom door passing by our long corridor that leads to the kitchen.

Daniel is at the sink washing dishes from dinner the night before.

Sonnet is eating breakfast. It’s a bowl of rice that had been cooked in chicken stock. Because she has diarrhea. She’s enthusiastic and the bowl is moving across the floor as she eats.

The corridor isn’t lit, but where Daniel and Sonnet are, is. The light illuminates them and they are framed like a living picture.

I’m caught off guard as I experience a framed moment from my life when I didn’t expect to.

I stop.

I really stop. And I take in, breath in, absorb my life with an observer’s distance. Perceiving the details in the frame.

And I’m reminded of how I’ve caught glimpses before of portraits in times gone by, by accident, just like this. But never have I felt what I feel now.

Portraits from my past contained a composition that didn’t feel good. Because I didn’t like what I saw, I turned away not believing I had what it took to alter the components, aspects, and elements to craft something much more to my liking.

I also remember not wanting to do what I needed to do, to have what I truly desired. I used to think that one day my life would either (somehow on its own) become what I wanted or that I would become so numb to the pain that it wouldn’t matter anymore.

Your head when eclipsed by fear truly has no room for your dreams. The possibility of bliss just doesn’t exist.

The feelings tied to these life portraits – they are powerful pieces of information, touchstones, markers for what remains to be done and what has been accomplished triumphantly.

On this Monday morning I receive my portrait of career bliss framed by the corridor.

And I’m in love.

I feel affection for my life. I feel drawn to it. I want to be the one living it.

And the best part is how affection for one part can’t help but be present in all the other parts. They are mirrors, patterns, and blueprints for one another.

My career is part of my life. My life is part of my career. They are me. They are one.

You only pretend they are separate, but really they are not any more separate than the day is from the night, than this minute is from the next, than a leaf is from a tree.

Different yes, but no, not separate. Not ever.

The post a portrait of career bliss appeared first on Career Counseling for Your Career Bliss | make. believe. for real..

If you are getting frustrated with the online application process in particular, it probably means that you’re spending too much time looking for work online.

Because really no more than 10% of the total time that you devote to creating work should be spent “shopping” for work online.

In fact, do it less if you notice any signs of resentment, helplessness, or even anger because you want things to work or be different than they are.

When you’re looking for your next career step and job bliss, don’t accept unpleasantness as part of the process. That’s a choice.

Here’s what you can do instead: Do what you can to always stay connected to yourself.

I have a client that competes in hobby chef competitions, another uses his time doing cycling tours of the city he lives in for tourists, one finds connection to herself through doing yoga and another through her photography practice. Other favourites are writing, painting, knitting, meditation or singing. For me? It’s walks and cuddles with my dog and of course … writing.

Decision-making that follows activities where you feel connected to yourself always come from a place of greater clarity. Plus if you don’t do these “little things” to keep connected to yourself, you also don’t see the doors, windows and chutes of possibility around you simply because you can’t when you do not accept what is.

Finding work is then just a series of hoops to jump through with no rest afterwards. And work is an endless hoop itself. Burn out inescapable.

Things that keep you connected to yourself are what give you the energy you need to engage in and manage your job searching in a way that feels good. (Yes, really!)

Now be(a)ware of your thinking that this process ought to be harder or more complicated than the simplicity of what I’m offering. Realize that the real work on your journey is in self-discovering the real reasons why you would insist on believing that you could possibly have job bliss if none of your steps feel blissful.

Because work you don’t enjoy isn’t what burns you out. Burn out comes from the conditions that you put on your job bliss.

The post a prescription for job bliss appeared first on Career Counseling for Your Career Bliss | make. believe. for real..

“Your company concept doesn’t sound serious at all. In fact it sounds flakey. And to associate yourself with the word ‘bliss’ – are you serious?!”

It’s funny because I had been saying the same thing to myself before I finally decided to just begin doing what you see me doing now.

I myself had been criticizing doing the thing that would make me really, actually, genuinely want to get out of bed in the morning. And here was someone saying my most fearful thoughts straight to my face.

I remember realizing:

I’m not dying.
I’m still alive.
I’m living through my worst fear.

Inside of me was quiet. Witnessing both of us.

I was aware when I began offering my work outside of traditional roles that ‘bliss’ is a controversial term because it’s definition, meaning and application is not universal.

Career bliss in particular is definitely a concept that produces scoffs, cynical expressions and a mean spiritedness disguised as worldly wisdom from fellow human beings like few things can.

And I used to be the biggest career bliss non-believer of them all.

I know that, for most, career bliss is a nice idea. But that’s all it is. A nice idea.

Until I studied career theory and development. Until I explored through research and personal interviewing the myriad of reasons why people work. Until I examined my own life and the reason why I had worked in the past. Until I personally reoriented myself to what it means to work and helped many others do likewise. Until I experienced and witnessed something different because I had no more capacity to keep doing as I was, I was just like everyone else.

What I can no longer deny is that, at the core of our being, quite literally, (when) in essence, the highest reason or most sacred cause for working is indeed bliss.

Compassionately speaking for a moment, I totally get why career bliss is such an unwelcomed concept. By that I mean that it makes sense that when you’re so invested in how you’re doing what you’re doing now, a seemingly opposing idea isn’t going to get lavished with love. Suffering for work is too noble to just give up without a fight.

Except that, until you’ve been maddeningly unkind to yourself to the breaking point of not wanting to exist and created a life so far removed from anything that you could possibly want to upkeep (like I have), there’s no reason to change. So of course, career bliss sounds ‘airy fairy’ and ‘unrealistic’ and ‘unimportant’ and ‘flakey.’

I’ve heard it all. And then some.

And my life has taught me differently.

In order to have career bliss, first and foremost, you have to want it. It is a nice idea that can be made real.

And if you do in fact want it, that means there’s work to be done.

…

Oh, I won’t leave you hanging. In case you’re wondering what I said to the individual that shared their unsolicited opinion of bliss with me. Here’s what I said:

“Thank you for sharing.” (And I meant it.)

Her mouth closed, her head snapped back, she gathered her shoulders closer to her as though they were a winter coat and she was readying to brave the cold. Without another word, she dashed off into the night never to be seen or heard from again.

It was just drama.

The post curse career bliss – okay, why not? appeared first on Career Counseling for Your Career Bliss | make. believe. for real..

***Pay What You Can Is Over for 2013. Thanks for joining in on the festivities! xo***

For the next 24 hours I’m offering the Bliss Kit at the price that you can pay whether it’s for yourself or someone else. It’s a day of giving, investing, loving, and career bliss whether for yourself or someone else that you believe in.

And we definitely need to believe in the purpose of our life and the lives of others in order to make believe for real.

This digital kit has epic content for career navigation – the kind that nips career dissatisfaction in the bud.

The Bliss Kit is inspirational – filled with real stories from past client experiences, 7 potent guided imageries that will leave you with more self-insight than most conversations ever could, 17 animated videos to help you to understand the everyday concepts that change how you look at the life you thought you knew. There are also oodles of PlaySheets intended to create a destination where your work is play. It’s lots n’ lots that has everything to do with real life and making the life you want real.

In other words, it’s very generous not to mention life changing.

I created the Bliss Kit because I got seriously depressed when I would hear people say that what they did for work sucked, but that they didn’t know what they really wanted to do with their life instead. And I feel genuinely sad when I learn how much time, energy and money people spend on courses, training and education only to finish and feel even more confused about what they want to do … all because we live in a culture where it scares people to admit: “I don’t know what I want to do, but I’m willing to find out.”

Ready to find out for yourself what your purpose is? Get your copy of the Bliss Kit at a Pay What You Can price (I’m so happy for you already!).

Here’s how Pay What You Can for the Bliss Kit works:

When you click through to make your purchase just adjust the price to what you can pay (or see the fine print for more options + details).

The Kind Fine Print

1. This offer ends at 11:59am PST Saturday March 2. Sorry if you were out of town, missed the email. Really sorry.
2. This sale only applies to The Bliss Kit.
3. No going back in time – even if you bought The Bliss Kit yesterday. Sorry.
4. I reserve the right to decline too-low offers.
5. I accept multiple payments over time. Absolutely. So if you want to pay $30 in three parts via PayPal, for example, email daniel@makebelieveforreal.com to set that up. Easy peasy.
6. If you have a question please email daniel@makebelieveforreal.com. He will respond.
7. If you already have The Bliss Kit and would like to gift it to someone at a pay-what-you-can rate, do it! I’ve had people donate money to me for the full price in the past to offer the Bliss Kit to complete strangers in need. I can’t tell you how amazing it feels for everyone involved. Email daniel@makebelieveforreal.com and we’ll get on it!
8. Don’t like PayPal or credit cards? Email daniel@makebelieveforreal.com to make arrangements before the close of this sale to send a cheque (that’s what a check is called in Canada).

And when you get the Bliss Kit and do it and things happen this year – write to share your story!

Your story about an insight that changed everything, a new trajectory, changing the way you work completely even if you’re in the same job (but it feels different for some reason), is worth sharing.

I wish all the best to you this year! Big love for a big year! Take action below (yeah – that red button) –

A note to someone you care about:

Hi! I know you’ve been experiencing career dissatisfaction for awhile and that you’re not sure exactly what to do with it. I just wanted to let you know that I found a resource that might be what you’ve been looking for. It’s a career navigation kit for people who want to feel like themselves in what they do for work and it’s called the Bliss Kit. The information page should be able to tell you whether or not it’s for you, but I thought I’d tell you about it because it’s on sale for “pay what you can” for the next 24 hours. Sounded like a good deal to me. Here’s the link: http://makebelieveforreal.com/career-bliss-is-close-at-hand/ ‎

Tweets to the Twitterverse:

Click here to tweet: “R u experiencing symptoms of #career dissatisfaction? Pay What You Can 4 the Bliss Kit from @TheWitchofBliss 24hrs”

Click here to tweet: “I want you to know why you’re walking on this earth. Pay What You Can 4 the Bliss Kit from @TheWitchofBliss 24hrs”

Click here to tweet: “Your work can b a source of contribution & fulfillment. Pay What You Can 4 the Bliss Kit from @TheWitchofBliss 24hrs”

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– Alex Baisley, Head Lad at BigDreamProgram.com

By visiting Alex’s website, you can find out more about what he does and his services. Click here to get there!

What’s this interview? Click here.
Looking to claim your own career bliss? Click here.

Think that someone in the world needs some inspiration to claim their career bliss? By all means, share this post with my sincere thanks.

The post claim your career bliss: interview with alex baisley appeared first on Career Counseling for Your Career Bliss | make. believe. for real..

En route to growing older, because he was absent, I wanted these circumstances to mean that he would therefore have no influence on how I would choose to live my life let alone what I would end up doing for work.

I saw how my friends’ fathers beared down on them with advice and values and ideas that weren’t a fit for them and how that strained their relationship. At times. I thought I’d be immune.

But I was wrong.

In my own fumbling towards career bliss, I came across this question in a book: “How did your father influence your career choice?”

Well, he didn’t. He wasn’t there. I didn’t have a real father.

Those where my first thoughts.

But the question nagged at my insides. And I noticed that I was bothered by my own response.

My answer sounded logical, but untruthful. It sounded rebellious, but disappointed. I sounded defensive to my own ears.

Until I explored this childhood event with my therapist, my journal, and a few well-chosen friends, I had no idea of the depth that my father’s personal choices had influenced my own.

In particular, my career.

Before you unravel, you struggle to understand your orientation to choice-making. And in the absence of understanding, life feels random, confusing and frustrating.

The way I had it figured, I had done all of the right things to create a secure life in order to feel happy and at peace.

Yet I could not have been more unsatisfied nor more filled with doubt about my life and my ability to take steps towards meaning and fulfillment.

You see, I wished with all my heart for a very long time that my father hadn’t left, but before he did, the chaos that he and my mother created together made me wish that they were apart.

Even so, it’s a shock when someone that wanted you to love, trust and depend on him leaves without a trace. Especially when you are his daughter and he your father.

So I made creating security my career.

It became my reason for doing well at school and being obedient through people pleasing for several decades. Because this is what it takes (I was raised to believe) to get a ‘good job’ defined by security, good pay, benefits and some vacation time.

And that ‘good job’ – just so you know, is nothing that you have to like, but it is something that you have to do if you’re going to make something of yourself at all and be respected by society.

And after all that, I would supposedly be eligible for happiness.

Fear was leading my career decision-making.

All I wanted was security. To know that home wasn’t going to disappear without an explanation. To not dread bringing home a request from school for a field trip or costume for the play that cost money. To not fear that I was growing out of my clothes and shoes too fast to warrant outbursts of financial fatigue from my mother.

Your career is the ideal projection for security when something else is going on.

I thought that my career would make my fears of insecurity go away. That it would make the feelings I had over the experience of losing my father go away.

Success abounded and helped me to see the pain of this way of being. I managed to find my way to very secure work, but the feeling that I was trying to escape never did go away.

You see, I had expended, spent, depleted, exhausted and run myself straight into a life of constant fatigue to get where I was. I held security high above all other human needs like freedom, harmony, peace, fun and connection.

Turns out that even when I was secure, I feared it would disappear without my understanding of why.

Not unlike … that’s right, my father.

And then the realization:

No father in the world and no job in the world could ever be a substitute for the security of being loved and wanted for who you are, doing what you are.

You don’t work for love in order to be worthy.

There is no security without freedom. Because without freedom, security is just a debilitating burden.

And with that insight, a new blueprint for work begins.

There is joy in existing. And you can work because it’s worth your while to do so.

The post a father’s influence on a daughter’s career appeared first on Career Counseling for Your Career Bliss | make. believe. for real..

Especially when it comes to creating career bliss.

And other times it’s hard for you to accept what you have in mind for yourself.

When I left my last “real job,” I wasn’t ready to reveal what I really, really, really wanted to do.

Enter the cover story.

When you have no idea how what you want to do will come to be (just yet), and people are inquiring constantly about answers as events unfold in real time, a cover story is a truth that you can share in peace to get the space that you so desperately need.

A few years ago, what was unfolding in my life was a big deal. Daniel got a job offer far away from where we called home at the time and from where I worked. Together we decided to resettle. We were headed to Vancouver Island.

Before long the news started to break that I would be leaving my job. Naturally, as it is natural to wonder, people wanted to know why I was leaving and what I was going to. My cover story:

“Daniel got this job over there and I’m going so that we can stay together.”

It was truthful. Socially acceptable. No one asked for more. It’s a complete cover story and takes care of just about anything that everyone worries or wonders about. People nod in understanding. People nod in approval.

But you see I had these other plans in the works … well, you actually know already. You’re here, after all. Reading this.

Moving to be with my partner was important to me because I do love him and wanted very much to journey with him through life wherever that took us.

But beneath the appearance of a story that read as “girl follows boy as he pursues career bliss” there was another (deeper) story of my very own in the works.

At that moment however, my self-concept had a lot of catching up to do. Because it’s completely normal for what you desire and what you believe about yourself to need revising and updating in order to come into alignment so that it may become your future.

Consistently heading in the direction of your desire in the form of everyday action applied as time unfolds is the way.

It’s the very essence of what it means to transition, transform and ultimately incarnate.

So my fledging plans were safe under a cover story.

Because it truly would have felt crazy to leak any more information while I was still investigating my leads.

It would have felt tabloid-ish to share that I am publishing my work to share as part of my platform via my virtual career counselling business. I would have felt shady in my facts announcing that I intended to help people across the continent and beyond that yearned to navigate their career with confidence, clarity and authenticity. Because that’s what I had struggled with the most and came to resolution about, that’s what I had to give.

Too public too soon with others whether they are supporters or saboteurs in the end invites all manner of questions and opinions that take you away from being present with the steps as they unfold for you to take.

This is how satiating the curiosity of others is a waste of time. No matter who you love and want along for your ride, you will encounter people unwilling to take their own steps, so they don’t know how to support you taking yours.

Since my fledgling plans have manifested into reality it doesn’t feel strange to read or write what has transpired now.

But several years ago, it was just an idea that I hadn’t done anything about yet.

An idea that needed protection, perseverance and action.

In fact if I talked to you at all about it, it was because you had expertise to help me bring it into being.

A cover story is just the cloak of invincibility you need to create your own career bliss.

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