A Malaysian in France

The Malaysianized spouse

2012-01-26T22:12:00.003+01:00

In a mixed marriage the couple influences each other with their own culture, background. The other day I was looking for soya sauce (an essential ingredient in Chinese cooking), I was told by hubby that he has finished it. To be frank, I seldom use soya sauce here, I found them too salty. Hubby uses frequently soya sauce and sesame oil, I just make sure I fill the stock on time.

We got these chili peppers as Christmas gift. In Malaysia, you could see a small plate of cut chili dipping in soya sauce. I was never a big fan, but now this small plate of cut chili appears in our dining table here from time to time. Who eats them? Not me!

Between, could you tell what's wrong with the calendar?

The only Chinese New Year deco I made this year. Aelig was not interested, I lost motivation after making one. I have been showing her some CNY songs though, she loved them. This evening I asked what she would say when we call "wai po" (my mother), she sang "Kong Xi Ni". Now that's my girl, hope she would sing it again when I call my mother.

Stockmarket returns and the Chinese zodiac

2012-01-23T22:16:00.002+01:00

The Economist just published a statistic that links the stock market returns (America's Dow Jones Industrial Average price index) to the twelves Chinese zodiac. Apparently over the last 110 years, Dragon years had shown an average increase of 7.7 percents, scoring high at the second place after Rabbit. Dragon is always seen as strong and prosperous animal among the Chinese culture, I don't know if the stock market will surge, but what I'm certain is that the Chinese couples will be working hard to produce Dragon babies. This has always given problems to educators as when the Dragon babies are at age to go to school, they explode the available places / resources!

Happy Dragon Year!

Winter is coming

2012-01-15T23:40:00.003+01:00

I didn't think that I would be intrigued by this type of novel: middle age background + war. But I did, I was hooked since the beginning and swallowed both of the books within 1.5 months.

It started like this: from time to time hubby proposes me movie / series that would suit my taste. He had doubt for this one though, as I was bored while watching The Lord of the Rings. We watched the first episode of HBO TV series "Game of Thrones", and I was not into it at the first 20 minutes. The patient paid off as the more I watched it the more I got hooked. We finished the 10 episodes in three evenings. I couldn't wait to know what happened next, so hubby got the first two books as my birthday gift.

There are 5 books available in the market and two more are planned. My heart wants to buy the remaining three as soon as possible, but I hesitated. When I like a book, I want to finish it quick. Yesterday I read until wee hour and had been "abandoned" Aelig till I flipped through the last page. She was reading beside me, nagging me to do something else with her, but I didn't pay her much attention, instead I asked her to go see her daddy whenever she asked for something. On Saturday the sun was shinning but I didn't bring her out. Guilt filled me but it was too late, winter is really here, it was cold outside and it was getting dark. I brought her out anyway, but the playground was deserted, she could only play with me. I had been a bad mum, I should probably take sometime off the book.

Well, winter is really coming, it is freaking cold out there.

Yes to King Cake...or actually the dough

2012-01-11T23:35:00.004+01:00

January is King's Cake month, we get to eat la galette des rois (The Kings' cake), and the person who has the figurine (la fève) inside the cake could be king or queen for the day.

I decided to make one myself this year, as those sold in the bakeries are very expensive. Hubby bought one for 6 persons and it cost 12.50€. The smallest one for 4 persons is sold for 8.50€.

I got the recipe from my Taiwanese friend's cookbook. Aelig loved it, well, precisely, she preferred the dough (pâte feuiletée bought from supermarket). See how she was tearing the dough off, she did it several times until I had to stop her. In the recipe I was supposed to cut the extra dough off to make a perfect round shape. We didn't want to waste it so we folded underneath.

My first attempt. It must be a curse, I usually don't like the dessert I made myself, but it pleased hubby. As for Aelig, she didn't even take a bite. Well, maybe I have to replace the frangipane with chocolate filling.

Saturday Morning Bread Hunt #6

2012-01-07T23:51:00.003+01:00

Wow, it has been six months and I have not continued the bread hunt series. The bakery was closed for several weeks in summer and we didn't pick up the routine after. Blame it to laziness and discouraging weather.

The sun was shining warmly this morning. I decided to go run some errands and brought Aelig along. She got to try out her Christmas gift from Santa: the tricycle. She doesn't know how to pedal yet so I had to push her along.

I bought her a pain au chocolat and told her that the croissant was for her daddy. She was super motivated after hearing this, climbing upstair as quickly as she can. Once arrived, she ran into our bedroom and found nobody. She then rushed to the study room and found daddy there. She was so proud to present the croissant to him.

A happy girl with her pain au chocolat.

Just a side note, she surprised me today. We were looking at this picture, I pointed at one strawberry and could not find the word in Mandarin. Seeing that I was struggling to find the word, she looked at me and said: "Cao mei". Wow, I didn't know she remember that word! This shows how I should continue teaching her words, and even though she might not say it immediately, it is actually registered in her brain. I then pointed to one cherry and told her "Ying Tao". She shaked her head and corrected me: "No, c'est ping guo" (No, it is apple). Ok I was pretty convinced that it was cerise, but I agree that it could be taken as an apple if you do not consider the leaf on the top.

A week of child-free time

2012-01-02T22:15:00.004+01:00

Happy New Year 2012!

New Year's even party is over and we had a blast! Aelig was having a great time too, she went with her grandparents to a dancing party (fest-noz). I don't have photos yet so I will post them in another post.

After Christmas celebration, we left Aelig with her grandparents as the sitter was on vacation. I think it is great to be child-free from time to time. These were what we did which would not be possible / would be complicated when Aelig was around:

- slept till 8am everyday before moving our asses to work
- went to restaurants several times and dined as a couple
- had food delivered to our place
- eating junk food as we wish (I don't want her to eat junk food so I won't eat junk in front of her)
- read for several hours uninterrupted

Activities she had with her grandparents:
- went to have walk on a beach
- went Brittany dancing
- went to visit family
- ate healthy
- played in the garden
- Grandma sang French song and read French stories to her

Everyone had a great time. After a week, we were very happy to have the angel back.

Now back to routine.

Meeting Santa Claus

2011-12-26T19:50:00.010+01:00

We had a splendid Christmas gathering with family. This year's theme concentrated on bringing jubilant moments to the little angel.

In the middle of the feast, someone was knocking on the door. Aelig went answered the door.

Oh, Santa Claus is coming! Everyone was telling her that was "père Noël" (Santa Claus in French)! She starred at him suspiciously, but was quickly influenced by the joyful atmosphere and followed him into the house.

"Are you really Santa Claus"? She seemed to doubt it. Apparently, she was calling "papounet" to Santa when we asked her to give him a kiss.

When she saw those presents Santa brought, she kept yelling "cadeau" (present in French) and wanted Santa to open one of them.

Santa was taking off and wanted to give her a hug. She reluctantly obliged. Second later she requested to go to her tonton Benjy's arms. Something is fishy about this Santa, she seemed to tell herself.

Inspired from one of her nursery songs, I had prepared a game. The song describes about a kid who has hard time pulling out a carrot so he asks help from a grandpa, a grandma, a dog, a cat and a mouse. Aelig was going to play as the carrot but she didn't want to cooperate, so we change the game. I was singing the song and each round calling a person, to join the force to swing her! Look how excited she was!

After the song / swing, she wanted more, and since everyone was standing in a circle, she went from one to another, asking to play acrobat with her. First with papa, then with mamounette, mamig, papounet...

and even tonton Benjy was invited to play. She did this several rounds and we would see what she was extremely elated. What a wonderful Christmas for her!

Seeing how everyone was ready to do the best to please her, it touched me enormously. I love my family here. I hesitated if we should really lie to her about the existence of Santa Claus, or should we spoil her with gifts, or should we introduce her another version of Santa where he would arrive through the chimney, and the kids will prepare some biscuits and milk the night before... All these doubts are gone, as long as we celebrate as family and she is happy, all is fine with me.

Note: We didn't have the roasted capon with chestnuts. It is my father in laws' signature dish and it is the family tradition to have it during Christmas lunch. Have to wait till next year!

2 years old

2011-12-24T02:07:00.000+01:00

On the way to work yesterday I passed by the Clinic where Aelig was born. I was grinning from ear to ear thinking of the moments we were waiting for Aelig to come to the world, 2 years ago.

We are heading to BIL new house for Christmas Eve gathering. I have this post done first, her birthday celebration + Christmas celebration will follow next week.

Language developments
New vocabularies in
French: pardon (sorry), c'est fini (it's finished), oui, (yes), monte (raise), boire (drink), c'est quoi ça (what is this), quoi (what), mange (eat), faim (hungry), tu veux (do you want), viens (come), genoux (laps), ça va (are you ok), attend (wait), a demain (see you tomorrow), bonne journée (have a nice day), monsieur (sir), madame (madam), c'est à moi (it's mine)

Mandarin: fan (rice), ma ling su (potato), luo bo (carrot), ping guo zhi (apple juice), pu tao zhi (grape juice), xiao (laugh), ku (cry), shen mu (what), gei wo (give me), fang pi (fart), qi e (penguin), pang xie (crab), xiao shiong (teddy bear), da kong zi (rooster), xiao ya zi (duckling), hou zi (monkey), xiao tu zi (bunny), shi zi (lion), xiao xing xing (little star)

Note: She can better pronounce certain words in Mandarin that she couldn't two months ago, for example everything that ends with zi. It is funny to see her saying good morning or waving goodbye to strangers. She uses the word "pardon" when she bumped into me, she even asked "ça va" (are you ok) with her face showing her concern. When she farts she will say: "Aelig fang pi"!

Songs:

I found that she learns a lot of words from listening to songs. These days I tried to let her listen to songs available in Mandarin, English and French with the same music. For examples:
Xiao xing xing (Little star), Twinkle twinkle little star, (there is a French version but I have yet to find a nice one on Youtube)
Liang zhi lao hu (two tigers), Are you sleeping, Frère Jacques (Brother Jack)

I also exposed her to songs in other languages:
Chan Mali Chan (Malay) - I couldn't find any video for Rasa Sayang, if you have one please send the link to me.
The animal exercise song in Japanese
Merry Christmas in Hokkien
Moonlight in Cantonese
Papa penguin (German)

Objection

When she sees a duck, she says "canard" (duck in French). I will say yes, this is xiao ya zi (duckling in Mandarin). She would object and says "no, no, c'est canard". On the other hand, she started saying "oui" (yes in French), like when I propose her to eat certain things or watch certain videos.

Reminder
After putting her to bed, if I forgot to give her a kiss, she would raise from her crib and yell "bisous maman!"

Some highlights this month:

The hiding game. She likes to hide behind the curtain. We would pretend that we didn't see her and keep asking why she was. She would giggle and we would scream "ah you are here".

Her granddad made her a table so that she can play computer games. Just kidding, it is a desk for reading.

We brought her to the Christmas market. This was the second time she rode on a carousel (manège in French). She didn't want to try it at first but once she was on the wooden horse, she held on to it and refused to come down.

Santa Claus has already passed by once. Her sitter gave her a toy who sings French nursery rhythms. Well, hubby couldn't stand it much as she plays it over and over again and she insisted to sit beside him while playing.

Her dress for Christmas Eve gathering.

I wish you a Merry Merry Christmas and may Santa Claus bring you lots of joys and happiness.

How I wish the postman is as efficient as Santa Claus

2011-12-23T23:29:00.000+01:00

I was eagerly waiting for my photo calenders to arrive, since I received an email saying that they were sent out on last Saturday. It would take two business day.

Tuesday passed. Nothing
Wednesday passed. Nothing. Oh oh.
Thursday afternoon, I got a note from the Postman saying that he came by and nobody was at home, so we have to collect it at the local Post Office. The note indicated the operating hours: from 8.30am to 12pm then 2pm to 6pm.
Right, times when most of the people are at work.

I was deeply disappointed. He could have left it with the guardians.
I wish the postal services here are as efficient as the Santa Claus, always deliver at the time frame promised.

Actually, things have improved over the years. Once, the UPS guy called to check if we were at home since we missed him the first time he passed by. I asked him to drop it at the guardian office and he did.
The DHL guy dropped our packages with our neighbors.
The La Poste guy, he always drops a note instead of passing by the Guardians' office. This put everyone in lose-lose situation. He has to bring the parcel back to his Post Office. Our apartment complex is huge with 14 buildings, that's why we have two guardians, imagine how many parcels he has to bring back during Christmas peak season since he usually does the delivery during our working hours. We have to go pick it up, usually on Saturday since they are closed during lunch hours. It was very inconvenient and once we didn't go pick up within two weeks time frame and the registered mail got sent back to the sender.

Hubby went to pick up the parcel today and he discovered that there was another note from the Postman. For unknown reason, the website I ordered from decided to deliver the calenders in two packages. The one hubby picked up contain only one calender, so the remaining 4 are somewhere in the Post Office. We could go collect them starting from 8.30am tomorrow morning, fingers crossed that we will have them before heading West for Christmas Eve.

What to offer for Christmas

2011-12-19T00:35:00.000+01:00

Christmas is around the corner, but if you step into my apartment, you will not sense that we are in Decembre: there is no Christmas tree, no advent calender, nor a nativity scene (crèche). I'm simply not motivated for these kind of things, and I have a very good excuse: these French / Christian related traditions are the responsible of hubby, not mine. :-) Ok, seriously, I don't want to buy advent calendar because I don't want Aelig to eat too much chocolates, but I think kids could have so much fun on this so I don't want to take it away from Aelig. So, next year I will buy a cloth one and put chocolates plus maybe homemade cookies inside.

Getting presents is fun but we also have to crack our head to think of things to offer to family members. Hubby is someone who loves surprises so he never has Christmas list. But I think he is losing the game. Year after year I have instilled the practical side to my in laws family (ok his brother too) so now they call to ask what we want for Christmas. I give my suggestion for whoever asked for, I prefer to do it this way so that I won't receive gifts that I would never used. Now, getting presents for grandmas and in laws are really hard as they seem to already have everything.

So, recently, I have discovered one of the gifts that will sure please my family here: photo album or calender using Aelig as the model.

In the photo, family members were looking at the custom-made calender during last Christmas. It was a huge success, everyone hangs it in their place.

During grandma's 90th birthday, I made a photobook that included all her family members. It took me a while to assemble photos from all the cousins, uncles, aunties...it was very time consuming, but the result was satisfying. She loved it so much that she called to thank me personally. She told me that she has hard time remembering birthday of everyone so this year I made her a calender that lists everyone's birthday by month.

As for my MIL, she would be happy with anything related to Aelig, so for her birthday, I made her an album, listing Aelig's photos and developments every month during her first year. She displays it in her living room.

Our CE gave us gift checks for Christmas. I want to spend it on Aelig's gifts, but I don't know what to buy her yet. Her toys are slowly invading our living spaces.

Louis Vuitton sent me a catalog. Too bad, I don't think I could afford one and I don't think I will ever get this from hubby.

Just a small advertising if you love French pastries and you read Chinese. My friend, a Taiwanese married to a French, wrote a book about French desserts. This could be a great gift to anyone who would like to venture into French pastries (such as Macaron). She can send it within France or you could order from this website. She just had an interview with OuestFrance, the article will be published on 19th Dec and 26th Dec.

Merry Christmas to everyone: eat well, party well and have plenty of presents.

Let's exercise

2011-12-13T23:35:00.000+01:00

I found this video and have been showing it to Aelig. She loves it.
It shows a bunch of animated animals doing exercise, in Japanese. We try to do it with Aelig but she only managed to sing "ni san". Hopefully she will get the synchronized moves soon.

Here is the video:

I got a friend translated the lyrics for me, I would like to share them here.

Title
Japanese: まねき猫(ねこ)タック子供(こども)体操(たいそう)
Mandarin: 貓與鴨子小孩子作體操
English: Cat, duck and children exercising

Song
First line is in Japanese
Second line is Japanese pronunciation
Third line is in Mandarin
Fourth line is in English

猫も　アヒルも　皆　一緒に　他招き猫タック子供体操　
neko mo ahiru mo min na ishouni tamaneki neko ta-ku kodomo taisou
貓和鴨子和大家一起邀請小朋友作體操
cat, duck, together with everyone is inviting children to do exercise

体　を　動かそう　　心　を　動かそう　他招き猫タック子供体操
karata wo 　ugo kasou kokoro wo ugo kasou　tamaneki neko 　ta-ku kodomo taisou
身體活動活動心活動活動邀請貓鴨子小朋友作體操
Moving moving the body, moving moving the heart, inviting cat, duck and children to do exercise

1 2 3 2 2 3 3 2 3 4 2 3
ichi ni san ni ni san san ni san yonn ni san
一二三二二三三二三四二三
One two three, two two three, three two three, four two three

La la la la
啦~ 啦~ 啦~啦~~~

猫も　アヒルも　皆　一緒に　他招き猫タック子供体操　
neko mo ahiru mo min na ishouni tamaneki neko ta-ku kodomo taisou
貓和鴨子和大家一起邀請小朋友作體操
cat, duck, together with everyone is inviting children to do exercise

体　を　動かそう　　心　を　動かそう　他招き猫タック子供体操
karata wo 　ugo kasou kokoro wo ugo kasou　tamaneki neko 　ta-ku kodomo taisou
身體活動活動心活動活動邀請貓鴨子小朋友作體操
Moving moving the body, moving moving the heart, inviting cat, duck and children to do exercise

Some explanations:
鴨子=アヒル　ahiru 日本語 = Duck (Japanese pronunciation)
Duck =タック duck 外來語 (也就是英文或其他國語言直接音譯) = Duck (English pronunciation)
被邀請=他招き tamaneki = being invited
孩子=子供 kodomo = children
貓= ねこ　neko = cat
身體=体 karada = body
心= こころ　kokoro = heart
大家=皆 min na = everyone
一起= 一緒に ishouni = together
身體活動=動かそう　ugokasou = moving moving the body

Hope you enjoy this video as much as we do.

Malaysian's view of France

2011-12-11T23:21:00.003+01:00

I stumbled across this fellow Malaysian's blog. Joanne and her family moved to Paris in early 2011. She has a sarcastic and hilarious way of describing her adventures, and I would say that she has sharp observations on how things work in France. She shared her findings about French culture in Only in France Part 1 and Part 2. It gives me many bitter and sweet memories of my first year here.

It is shameful but I have to admit, that even after 6 years in France, I still feel stress when I have to say or listen to numbers from 70 to 99. The reason is explained in Part 2. That's why I'm doubtful when I read that people who are multilingual will find it easier to learn another new language compared to those who are monoglots. I think it all depends on one's learning capability and how similar the languages are. French is a language that has many exceptions to its own rules, and the best way to learn it is to simply accept it instead of asking why and the logics behind it.

As for her question about what is Toilet Milk, well, frankly, I asked myself this question but didn't insist to find out what was it. My MIL gave me some toilet milk and I just don't use it. I told myself that I do not need to use milk in toilet! So, after seeing her post, I asked grandma what was it. She told me that in French, when she goes to "faire ma toilet", it means that she is going to brush her teeth / wash her face / refreshing up / make up. Toilet milk is actually cleansing milk to remove make up, or wipe baby's butt. Another product related to toilet is "l'eau de toilette" (toilet water) which means perfume. Well, it is hard to associate toilet with perfume if you ask me.

As I said, do not find the logic behind the French word you learn, simply memorize it and use it.

How to download YouTube Videos to Freebox

2011-12-04T01:11:00.000+01:00

I'm so excited, I finally found a way to download YouTube videos and play them on the TV. It is very simple but it took me several months, as previous attempts all resulted in failure.

It requires three steps:
1. Download YouTube videos to flv file
Simply put the URL of the YouTube video here and download it to your hard drive, in flv file (I think it would work in other file formats too, but I didn't try.)

2. Convert the file from flv to avi format
I use this free converter, you need to download it first. There are many free softwares out there, I like this one because it is easy to use and the transfer rate is fast.

3. Upload the converted avi file to Freebox (our internet provider)
Hubby gave me a location to upload the files. I turned on the TV and it worked!!!

I have uploaded around 15 songs (including one Hokkien Christmas song), I'm so eager to see Aelig's happy face when she sees this in the morning. Well, it is going to be a reward for her, she actually went to bed herself at 10pm (still considered late though). She just climbed into her bed, sang to herself, and fell asleep. I was surprised that I didn't hear her for a while, usually she would come back to the living room after playing in her crib. This time she stayed there, light off. Way to go girl!

The Malaysian me Vs the French me

2011-12-04T00:50:00.000+01:00

After living for more than 6 years in France, part of me has transformed into French. I do or react like the French (or the majority of them). There are cases where I'm more French than Malaysian, or vise versa. Here are some situations I experienced recently:

Situation one:
I brought Aelig to see our family doctor. While chatting she discovered that I had to take the morning off so she proposed to write me a letter, which could be used to justify my absent. She even asked me if I want a full day off.
The Malaysian me: No, half day is enough, I need to go back to work this afternoon.
While thanking the French system who allows parents to take off to take care of sick kid at home (it will be considered exceptional leave in my company), the French part of me had something to say.
The French me: You are so stupid, if the doctor lets you take a day off, just take it! You are not the one paying anyway. (Some Malaysians would think this way too).

Note: It will not take long for me to abuse (or is it abusing?) the system, I can tell. When I was 5 months pregnant, my doctor ordered me to stop working and I refused. Today I would have hesitated and even agree with her instantly.

Situation two:
Aelig was extremely tired after the doctor visit (the 10.20am appointment only started at 11am). I drove her home and put her to sleep. I was really rush as before going to work I had to cook and feed her and send her to the sitter (at 1.30pm). So, no time to go to the pharmacy to pick up her medicine. And, the pharmacies here close from 12.30pm to 2pm.
The Malaysian me (complaining mode on): Ah, why can't they sell medicines in the doctor cabinet? In Malaysia one can directly buy medicine at the clinic after the doctor visit. I need to arrive at the office before 2pm so there is no way I could buy the medicine and give it to the sitter. Why can't the pharmacies open during lunch time? They could adjust their lunch hours, one group goes for lunch from 11.30am to 1pm, another goes between 1pm and 2.30pm. Or, open until 1pm and close from 1pm to 2.30pm.
The French me: C'est comme ça, c'est la vie. (It's like that, this is life).

Note: My dissatisfaction for the French operating hours can go on for some time. They are not made to provide services or simplify one's life.

Situation three:
At the pharmacy buying medicine. I was given two bottle of something and I hesitated. We got tons of medicine at home, some of them I have never opened them as Aelig refused to take them. Once the Pediatrician prescribed her 4 bottle of iron, which she refused to even take a drop, and now these 4 bottles are collecting dust at home.
The Malaysian me: I'm sorry but I don't think my daughter would take all of these, can I just have one bottle instead? (In Malaysian you have to pay for your medicines)
The pharmacist (not happy): One bottle is not enough to complete the treatment. But you are the one who decide.
The French me: Ok then I will take both. (In France the social security system pays for it).
Ok, ended with two bottles at home and Aelig refused to even finish the first one.

The Malaysian me: You should have insisted on trying one first, you are contributing to the hole in the social security system.
The French me: I'm not the one paying anyway.

Sincerely, I feel bad wasting medicine, and I would say that they come by too easily in France. They some times come in big quantity that one would never be able to finish. For example, Aelig's doctor told me that for one of her vaccines, she only needs 20% of the dose given, but she has to throw the remaining as once opened it won't last. Another example, my eyes are a bit dried after operation. The doctor prescribed me some eye drops, I got two big boxes of it, and I'm forcing myself to use them. I don't really need them, but I didn't know I was going to go home with tons of eye drops either.

Just a note: I'm not complaining, I just think the French medical system is so great that I'm very afraid that we will lose it one day due to abuses / wastes.

Michelle Yeoh in France

2011-12-01T13:18:00.000+01:00

I meant to blog about this last Saturday but didn't get a chance. Aelig has been refusing to go to bed. She would climb out from her crib each time we put her to sleep. She only got to bed passed 11pm. By the time she dozed off I was exhausted.

Anyway, Michelle Yeoh appeared on the 8pm news last Saturday to talk about her new movie "The Lady", directed by Luc Besson (French). She played as Aung San Suu Kyi, the heroine of Myanmar.

I was so excited to see her on 8pm News' interview. She would be the first Malaysian born star ever invited to this interview, if not mistaken. French news allocate some times talking about new released movies, most of the time featuring interviews on French movie directors, actresses and actors. A lot of A list Hollywood movie stars are on the list too, including Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Hopefully more Malaysian - Asian born movies and stars would be introduced to the French audiences.

Aelig 23th month

2011-11-24T23:28:00.000+01:00

One more month before she turns two.

One of her favorite activities: reading. These days, she would come sit beside, holding one book, then pass another one to me and order:"maman, kan shu" (mom, read). I said it is an order because if I don't read with her, she cries.

She even ordered her grandparents to read with her. She asked them to sit on the floor, as she has gotten used to do it at home. Well, according to hubby, his family consider that the floor is dirty so they only sit on sofa or chair. True, my FIL announced that he has pain on his back as he was not used to sit in that position.

Our CE (Committee in the company who organizes trips, gives discount tickets and other benefits to employees) proposed half price entrance ticket to the Aquarium in Saint Malo. Since she recognizes fishes and loves eating them, we brought her there. She was fascinated at so many fishes at the beginning, but was bored after a while.

She uses this small chair to look over the counter top, mainly to do mischief like stealing a biscuit, grabbing food on the table, transferring silver wares from the drawer to everywhere else in the apartment.

She is a party girl now. Since a while ago she refused to go to bed even after 10pm. This week she finally found her way to get out of the bed. Two nights consecutively she climbed out of her crib (from her crib she is accessible to the door handle and the light switch) and rejoined us in the living room. I let her played for 10 minutes more then put her to bed. We think she is ready for a real bed. Time for bed shopping.

Circulaire Guéant: So foreign fresh grad could no longer get a work visa in France?

2011-11-20T23:22:00.000+01:00

A while back I was invited to a small celebration in an office because someone was going on vacation. It is a tradition here, that someone would bring in chocolate breads, croissants and some juices and invite coworkers to have a small breakfast gathering. Most of the time it was for birthday, a new born in the family, a retirement...This was the first time I got invited because something was going for vacation.

Anyway, I met a fresh grad who just got hired. He told me about the new laws that just got implemented in France, where foreign fresh grads were being refused the working visa and police actually came to the work place to escort him out of the country. "Wow" was my response. I didn't really believe him because as far as I know, it was quite easy to get a working visa in France.

Thing changed without me realizing. Last week I got an email from a coworker, who said his goodbye as his working permit was removed from the Prefecture and he has to stop working from that day on. I didn't know it was that serious until I see the real case. Same thing happened to my teammates who had to stop working as their working visa expired and the prefecture refused to extend it.

All these are due to the new laws: Circulaire Guéant which is aimed to refuse professional working visa in France. A report says that this could affect around 60 thousands applications.

Seeing what is happening, I just want to say that sometimes we just need to have luck. I was one of the last person hired in my company in 2008. Since then most of the IT companies had hiring freeze and it only got restarted in 2010. I just talked to a coworker from Benin (a country in West Africa), she was super happy as she found this job quick easily, now I'm not sure if she is going to stay for long.

France is not the first country trying to limit professional immigrants. In 2004, when I tried to get a job in the USA, I was told that the quota for professional visa had reduced to 50k a year. Basically, all 50k were gone the day it was opened for application. I had a good lead with a Taiwanese company, but the HR checked with the lawyer and told me that there was no more quota for H1B visa. My friend who worked in my X company recommended me to the HR, was told the same thing, they didn't want to hire people who needed a H1B. I would just say that I had no luck, because despite all these talking, big companies still managed to hire foreign graduates, my friend was hired by Citibank at the same period. I think big companies have their own kind of quota.

Anyway, I just hope this is temporarily. I don't think foreigners are stealing jobs from the French. At least for the IT lines, there is huge demand and most fresh grads find their first job fairly easy. Those who are unemployed are mostly the unskilled or workers with little qualifications. It is just a waste of time and money for the companies to go through the process and hire foreigners just to later found that the country would not want to grant them visa.

Joke of the month

2011-11-17T12:18:00.000+01:00

Aelig knows the notion of ownership now. She would say which thing belongs to who in the family. Sometimes she helps me sort through the laundry and she will say:
C'est à Papa, c'est à Maman, c'est à Aelig (it's papa's, it's mom's, it's Aelig's).

One day while sorting out clothes, she was happily announcing which cloth belongs to who until she saw a bra. She looked at it for a second, and without hesitation announced that: C'est à Mamig! (It's Mamig's). And I heard hubby burst out laughing.

Well, Mamig is hubby's grandma.

Is she judging me? That my bra is so old fashion that it must belong to a grandma?
I have no idea.

PS: Just a joke to boost up my spirit. Aelig has been sicked, ear infection, coughing, teething all come at the same time. Result: fever, vomit, bad appetite, lost weight (she is only 9.4kg at 22 months), crying, bad temper.

Wedding the French way

2011-11-11T23:02:00.000+01:00

Wow, it's 11/11/11 today and lots of people said it is an auspicious day. It is public holiday in France so everyone gets to enjoy a long weekend. We certainly had a lovely afternoon, it was sunny and we went to C town for a visit and had picnic close to a river.

I saw on news in Malaysia that lots of couples had booked this day to get married. I'm not sure if French couples also chose this day though since we are in autumn (not a hot season to get married here). Talking about wedding, I want to share two unique things found in French weddings.

French wedding is famous with its marathon style of ceremony + cocktail + dinner + party (last for about 12 hours). But the first thing I want to talk about is the notion of Broom Wagon (voiture balai). It is a car decorated with brooms which originally created to follow the bicycle race and sweeping up those who were unable to finish the race on time. A wedding broom wagon serves the same purpose: picking up cars that are lost on the way from Church / Town Hall to the reception venue.

Most of the time the wagon is prepared by close friends. This photo shows my father admiring the one prepared for our wedding.

We attended a wedding two weekends ago and this time we had the task to decorate a broom wagon. The theme is Fest-noz (Brittany dancing party) so we had the Brittany flag as background. The challenge was more on how to tie the board to the car as it was quite windy that day. We drove at 30km/h on the way to the wedding and we lost 2 balloons on the way. Photo shows the workshop in progress.

Et voilà the final result.

Another specialty in French wedding: The French onion soup (Soupe à l’Oignon). I had been to several weddings but had yet tasted this infamous soup, mostly I went to bed too early and not every wedding served this. It was rare for me to stay up until 4-5am for a wedding but this time, at around 2am, I heard that there was onion soup coming so I stayed put. Yeah, I was very curious, and I was so glad that I stayed, as it tasted heavenly. It just warmed up my stomach so much so that I had a good night sleep later. Everyone should really try it.

One month post operation check up

2011-10-28T23:29:00.000+02:00

I went for my one month post operation check up.

I went through the same process as I was having the pre-operation assessment: exam followed by exam. I told the Dr three observations I have:

1. Dry eye - which he said it's normal, and he prescribed me some eye drops
2. Halo effect - he said this is normal as my eyes are sensitive to light
3. My right eye sees better than my left one - Dr said my right eye is recovered faster than the left one. It will improve over time.

He then asked his secretary to issue me a letter proving that I have the necessary view to drive. This letter allows me to ask for modification in my driver license, the fact that I no longer need glasses.

And, they took back the ugly sunglasses. I actually liked it and didn't know I have to give it back. Well, hubby said the secretary told me after the surgery, but I had too much discomfort that I remember nothing about this. And, on the computer screen, it was noted that I returned the sunglasses. Wow, they actually track this, it must be a very precious sunglasses.

And the cost? Free. Included in the operation fee.

22th month

2011-10-26T23:33:00.000+02:00

New vocabularies
French: au revoir (goodbye), fait attention (pay attention), bain (bath), pain (bread), papillon (butterfly), tétine (pacifier), saute (jump), petit ours brun (Brown little bear, a French cartoon series), marché (market), donne (give), goûte (taste).

Notes: She usually says "Bye bye" when waving goodbye to someone but now she switched to French. I was a bit surprised when she told me to "pay attention" the other day. She finally managed to pronounce the word papounet (grandfather) correctly but still calling her grandma mamoutête instead of mamounette.

Mandarin: hu tie (butterfly), ma yi (ant), mu ji (hen), ji dan (egg), Lao shu (mouce), bian fu (bat), hu li (fox), niu you (butter), di shang (floor), ti (kick), qiu (ball), mi feng (bee), kan shu (reading), mian bao(bread).

Notes: She has difficulty pronouncing anything ends with "zi", like "ya zi"(duck), "tu zi" (rabbit), shi zi (lion), hou zi (monkey). Many animals in Mandarin end with "zi" so there are a bunch of animals she could not pronounce.

Counting: When I go up and down stairs with her I try to count the steps in Mandarin. She starts saying it but mixing French and mandarin. She would say ".., deux (two in French), san (three in Mandarin).

Overview: Overall I'm happy with her language achievement. However, the fact that she is with her sitter the whole day limits her intake in Mandarin. I suspect that she starts getting the concept that we use different language at home, as sometimes with me she would ask for a biscuit in saying "gâteau" (biscuit in French) then quickly switch to "bing gan" (biscuit in mandarin). I hope to help her grab the concept but don't know how to do it.

Physical development

Climbing, jumping and kicking are her favorite movements these days. She loves to stand on her car or toy to look at stuffs on the counter-top or simply messing around. She got frustrated if her car or toy did not stand still and caused her to fall down. In the Petit Ours Brun series, the little bear was jumping so she would do this every time she watches the cartoon, and she would ask us to jump with her. She adores kicking and throwing ball.

Social and emotional development
She is a bossy girl. She starts issuing orders around. She would pull my finger and have it point to images on books. She commanded me to sit on her car or her chair or on the floor. She also pull my hand to follow her to the room and say "Du shu" (reading) and "assis" (sit down). When we do not obey her, she would bang her forehead on the floor and scream "tête-tête" (head head).

Photo shows Aelig having a good time with hubby. She is no longer the little baby who sticked to me all the time. In the past, when I got home, she would start crying and being cranky. While I cook, she would cry beside and refused to play with daddy. The phase has passed, now she would only push away her daddy when she is extremely tired. This is really a good change as we can now play together. Our game these days:
Me (in mandarin): Aelig, what sound does daddy produce when he farts?
Aelig: puuuuuuuuuuuuuttt
Hubby (in French): Aelig, what sound does maman make when she farts?
Aelig: puuuuuuuuuttte

Ok, this was the first boy ever who held Aelig's hand. We brought her to a gathering and she was running around with a bunch of kids, mostly by herself without really joining the group. At one point I asked this boy if he could play with Aelig. He said ok and I didn't expect him to hold Aelig's hand. They ran together for a while until he came to me saying that Aelig didn't want to play with her. Later when I talked to his mother, I discovered that he told his mother that Aelig was holding his hand extremely tied that he felt painful so he wanted to let go of her. Haha, so she actually scared off a boy.

Her pass time activities

Reading is one of her favorite activities. She loves pointing to images especially anything involves cat or dog. When I tell her lets go "kan shu" (read) she would happily go pick up books and sit down on the floor.

Since when she starts liking TV? She didn't show interest when she was younger. We have loosen up a bit for letting her watching her little bear series (Photo showing her watching her cartoon while eating a biscuit). From time to time she would watch her Mandarin song DVD in my computer. But now when hubby watches news or shows she would also watch with him.

Xiao Yue Yue dies: Can everyone afford to be the good Samaritan?

2011-10-23T13:40:00.002+02:00

Photo 1: Xiao Yue Yue
Source

The two years old Chinese girl, Yue Yue, died two days ago in the hospital. The incident triggered a heated discussion across the world since a week ago. I saw the video that Jeremy posted on Facebook, and the French news reported it last Wednesday. The common reaction was: How such callousness could occur? Are those people heartless?

So what happened?
Here is the Chronology of the accident:

Photo 2: Chronology of the accident
Source

On 13 Oct, around 4.30pm, in Guangdong Province, China, Mrs Wang picked up her son and daughter from school and sent them home.

Around 5.20pm, it was raining with grey sky. She went upstairs to collect her dried laundry. The eldest son went playing outside. Mr Wang runs a hardware shop downstair and didn't notice that his daughter went wandering on the street alone. When Mrs Wang discovered that her daughter was missing, she went looking for her, but at the wrong direction.

At 5.25pm, from the surveillance camera, we saw Yue Yue walking on the street. She was in an area full of wholesale shops, the side roads were burdened with merchandises. A van came towards Yue Yue and ran her over (Top left photo). The cruelest thing happened, the van paused for one second and actually moved forward and crashed the little girl again with the back rear tire, then drove away. The shop who had the surveillance camera was located just 200m away, but the shop owner claimed that he heard kid crying but thought that it was just a normal kid cry.

2 pedestrians and one cyclist (Top middle and top right) passed by and did not border to lay a hand. 40 seconds later, she got ran over again by another car (bottom left). 15 more people passed by and ignored her, including a mother with her daughter (bottom middle).

At 5.32pm, finally a rubbish collector stopped and yelled around if someone knew the little girl. She then tried to pick her up and pulled her aside (bottom right). At this moment Mrs Wang rushed over and took the girl.

Overall, a little girl lay down on the road, bleeding, crying, and within 7 minutes, non of the 18 people passing tried to help her, nor the people who ran the shops nearby came to rescue her.

Why?

Most of the messages on Facebook, forums and medias outside China condemned the lack of compassion and the apathy of the Chinese society. But I want to know what the Chinese think about this. I went to read on their forums and news and here are my findings:

1. They do not dare to help.
Here among the excuses:
A. I can't run the risk. If the police couldn't catch the real drivers, they might just accuse it on me. In this case, not only will I go to jail, I will put my family at risk (financial burden to compensate the family plus shame).
B. If I go to pick her up, who can guarantee that the parents won't accuse me of running her over? Even if I have no car, her parents could say that I was the one causing her to fall down resulting in her being ran over.
C. If I call the police with my cellphone, they will eventually know that I was the one calling, and the might accuse me being one of the drivers and send me to jail.
D. If I send her to hospital, the police will think that I'm the one who crashed her.
E. If I pick her up and unfortunately cause harm to her body, I could be sued.
Conclusion: Not everyone could afford to be the good Samaritan.

2. There is no Good Samaritan law in China.
Good Samaritan laws are laws or acts protecting those who choose to serve and tend to others who are injured or ill. They are intended to reduce bystanders' hesitation to assist, for fear of being sued or prosecuted for unintentional injury or wrongful death. Unfortunately, this law doesn't exist in China. Majority of the Chinese who commented in forums mentioned cases where good Samaritan acts were performed, but the victims or police falsefully accused them resulting in court persuades and financial loses. Here are some examples:

A. Peng Yu Vs Xu ShouLan

Photo 3: Japanese media explaining the Peng Yu case as one of the causes that Chinese stop helping out.
Source

Nov 2006, Nanjing.
There were three buses stopped at the same station. Madam Xu (65 years old) was rushing towards the third bus. According to Mr Peng, when he got out from the second bus, he saw Madam Xu laying down on the floor. He went to pick her up, together with another man, they called her children and helped sent her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with broken bones. She then accused Mr Peng for knocking her down when he got out of the bus and causing her fall. The court didn't have evidents that it was Mr Peng who knocked down Madam Xu. However, a person with common sense would explain the situation to Madam Xu's family at the scene and then went home. Since Mr Peng decided to send her to hospital, that could mean that he felt guilty. The court then ruled that Mr peng has to pay 40% of the medical expenses and court fees, a total of 45k Yuan (4.5k €), payable within 10 days. Even the Japanese media was using this case (see photo) to explain the apathy reactions towards Yue Yue's accident.

B. Xu YunHe Vs Wang XiuZhi
Oct 2009, TianJing.
At around noon, Mr Xu was driving on a 4-lanes road. Madam Wang (67 years old), illegally crossed the middle road block. According to Mr Xu, he saw Madam Wang fell down after crossing the road block, so he stopped and went to help her. She accused him for knocking her down and resulted in broken bones. In Jun 2011, the court could not prove that Mr Xu bumped into Madam Wang. They concluded that hypothetically, since his car was only 5m away from her, it could cause her to be nervous and eventually fall down. However, since Madam Wang was crossing the road illegally, she has to bear certain responsibility. With all these considerations, the court ruled that Mr Xu has to pay 40% of all the expenses, amounted to 100k Yuan (10k€).

C. Yin HongPin Vs Madam Shi
Aug 2011, JiangShu
Mr Yin was a bus driver. Around noon, he was driving on the highway and saw an old lady laying on the road. He stopped and went to help her. Since he couldn't just left the bus and the passengers there, he let someone who knew Madam Shi handled the situation, and drove away. Later, he was accused of hit and run. Madam Shi insisted that he struck her and should pay for her medical expenses. She and her family only dropped the case when they discovered that there was a surveillance camera in the bus. Many people called Mr Yin "The Lucky Peng Yu".

There are many more identical cases which are considered the principal factor that "cool down" the compassion of the society. In some cases, the "heroes" risked their life to rescue the victims and ended up hurting themselves and had to bear the gigantic medical cost or lost the ability to work. They get no help from the Chinese government and have to live in very poor conditions. Eventually, some Chinese comes out with this conclusion: Before helping others, we should first think about ourselves (Will I get sued? will I get hurt? Am I rich?...).

Current status:
The second driver got caught in the same evening. The first driver gave himself in three days later.

According to the first driver, he was looking for a shop in the area to collect some payments. It was dark and raining and he didn't see or hear the little girl. He felt that his car hit something so he drove on, but didn't realize he hit the little girl. He realized he might have hit someone after seeing the news on TV.

Note: There was a fake first driver who lied to the medias. He called Yue Yue's father and suggested to pay him 10k Yuan or 1k € to settle the case. When medias contacted him, he lied in his throat by giving false statements: that he has a quarrel with his girlfriend when driving so he was in bad mood, that he ran over the little girl the second time because if she dies, he would have to pay only 10k Yuan instead of 100k Yuan (estimated medical expenses). He said he was going to ran away with his family. But during the last call with a reporter, the real driver was already given himself in.

As for the 18 passing by, they will not be punished as there is no such laws of "Duty to rescue". This law does exist in France "non-assistance à personne en danger" (Non assistance to person in danger). When interviewed, two passing by said that they didn't see the little girl. The mother with a daughter said that she was scared and couldn't do much since she was with her daughter. A report said that she went to tell a security guard then just went away.

Photo 4: Madam Chen XianMei who rescued Xiao Yue Yue.
Source

As for me, no matter what excuses / analysis these people said, a life is taken and there is no way back. I just hope that after all these soul searching caused by this case, people will just come to sense that a life is worth more than anything else. Please learn the lesson from Madam Chen XianMei who did not hesitate from helping, even though she is not rich.

The girlfriend as the first lady

2011-10-19T23:10:00.000+02:00

Source

Will France once again prove that they have more tolerance towards the private life of their political leaders?

When François Hollande was chosen as the presidential candidate in 2012 by the Socialist Party several days ago, this was the question popped out in my mind. I know he was not married, got separately several years ago with his long-term girlfriend Ségolène Royal, who was a candidate during the previous presidential election (if she won he could had been the "First Man" of France), with whom he has 4 children. I thought he was single and I was telling hubby that:"Oh, if he win France will not have First Lady." Then I saw it on TV the other day that he actually has a girlfriend: Valérie Trierweiler, a journalist at Paris Match magazine.

So he has a girlfriend. If he win, the girlfriend will be France's First Lady. Since I live in France, I find it normal as from time to time I get to know old couples who still refer to their significant other as "girlfriend". However, this could be considered weird in certain Asian countries.

I don't know if this happens in other countries it could be considered acceptable. Already, my friend was amazed at how French can accept a President who was divorce twice and a First Lady who had a child with another man before she married the President. By the way the president is having a kid during his mandate, that's also something abnormal. I might be wrong but it seems to me that even in the USA, all presidential candidates had the campaigns with their wife and children, never with a girlfriend.

Conclusion: French political leaders could have very complicated private life, but French people seem to pay less attention to it. I will certainly feel very weird if Malaysia's king (Agong) is appointed with a girlfriend as the queen (Sultanah).

A morning call

2011-10-13T21:33:00.000+02:00

I was on leave this morning so was happily sleeping...

At 7.53am, my cellphone rang. Who would call me at this time??? I was too lazy to pick it up, and I heard someone left me a message.

I got this message:
"Bonjour Nicolas, c'est mami et papi, bon anniversaire!!! Gros bisous" Then an old man was yelling "Bon anniversaire" at the background.
(Good morning Nicolas, this is grandma and grandpa. Happy Birthday!!! Big kisses)

What an affectious message! Even though it was not addressed to me, I felt touched and thinking that this Nicolas is really blessed.

I called the woman back and told her that she got the wrong number. I preferred to tell her so that she would call the right person. She apologized and replied that she didn't know Nicolas has changed his cellphone number. Well, I thought that she was dealing the wrong number, but nevermind, she will get to him I'm sure.

For those who want to wish me happy birthday, please call after 9am. :-)

Laser eye surgery: Cost

2011-10-13T14:00:00.000+02:00

In Jun when I went to pre-operation assessment, I got a quotation of 1300€ per eye from Clinique Sourdille. I checked online and from the testimonies of several people, this has been the standard price since 2008. The clinic claims that they are the only clinic upgraded to the FemtoSecond technology. The Polyclinique de l'Atlantique charges 1100€ per eye. A friend had the surgery in 2006 and he paid 650€ for both eyes. If you choose the PRK technology, you could get 1300€ for both eyes in Rennes.

Anyway, since Clinique Sourdille is a very famous eyes specialist in Nantes, I decided to go with them. I do not know if the technology they use is better, the doctor didn't propose me a cheaper option. For the peace of mind I prefer to pay higher price hoping for a better result.

So here's what I paid:

Pre-operation assessment: 110€ (53€ refundable by Secu + mutual, 57€ non-refundable)
Pre-operation medicines: 12.50€ non-refundable
Operation: 1674€ for the surgeon and his team, 926€ for the clinic. My mutual took care of 2000€.
Medicines: 6.24€ non-refundable
Total = 2728.74€

Total cost to:
Sécu (government insurance) = 32.77€
Mutual (company insurance)= 2020.23€
Myself = 675.74€

At first I was worried that the Mutual might find excuse to not take the charges of 2000€. It was the maximum they would pay under the agreement, but already they refused to take care of part of my pre-operation assessment bill. To have the peace of mind again, I wrote an email to them and they replied saying that they will take the 2k bill with the original receipt. I had the operation on Thursday, sent the receipt the next Monday, and got the refund 10 days later.

Until now, I'm happy with the result and think that the money is well spent.