The Wood Dragon's Lair

It's become a surreal world

2017-01-27T03:30:04Z

I was feeling discouraged. This morning I woke up and my first thought was "I live in a time when NASA has gone rogue. There is something totally badass about that."

It was heady having such hope again, but as the day went on and I talked to friends I realized something.

I am living in a country where civil servants have been forced to go rogue to protect my rights, and the very pillars of democracy itself, from power-hungry elected officials.

I'm still hopeful from this show of dedication towards duty. But as it has been pointed out, no one has ever predicted that it would be a park ranger who started the resistance to the disintegration of freedom. But, hey, what better place to start than the Badlands National Park?

Meanwhile, my Trump supporting friends are quiet and slowly recovering. I predict that I will lose some friends. We all have our limits of things we can't accept, and one of mine is the silencing of research.

Why is it everytime I log in here...

2016-04-29T00:42:15Z

Another feature I depended on is either hidden or missing. I know, I barely use this place anymore, and this is part of the reason why.

Totally irritates me.

It would seem...

2015-05-10T01:34:23Z

You ever had something about yourself come back time and time again, despite the fact you never wanted the designation nor worked towards it.

Apparently I'm the type of woman that some men think they would rather want when they already have a significant other. My weight and other physical attributes have nothing to do with it. It's based solely on the fact that they think I would be easier to live with than the sensitive, irrational women they chose to be with in the first place.

Let's identify the fallacies behind this belief, shall we?

1) The idea that these men are actually logical themselves.
Yeah. Most of the men who have said something to the effect "You would make some guy a great wife. If I weren't already..." to me have not been what I would consider impressively logical. I let most of it slide because I am actually a rather polite person, and when I don't let it slide, I'm pretty much relentless. So, in the name of tranquility, I bite my tongue a lot. But I have my limits, and it would take a hell of a lot of sweet talking and chocolate to get around them. You think that "irrational" sweetheart of your is hard to deal with? Oh, sugar, she's just a kitten compared to what I would do to your world views once you've pressed me beyond my bullshit tolerance.

2) The belief that I am always logical.
Yep, despite all attempts to be understanding and analytical, I can and will behave irrationally. What can I say? Being human sucks. Especially when you're really tired or in pain, which I frequently experience. Of course, logic can be a very subjective thing too. Be prepared for maps and flowcharts if you ask my reasons for something.

3) That I actually tolerate those annoying habits she can't stand.
Let's make something perfectly clear - I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOU. Some people are like grandchildren. You find a lot of stuff entertaining because you can send them home when you're tired of it. Okay, maybe there are a few quirks I actually am more tolerant of, but most of the time I'm thinking, "Man, if I was married to you, I'd have to poison your lemonade for the sake of my own sanity." (Disclaimer - I don't really believe in killing people because of being annoying. I am far more resourceful in dealing with those situations than that.) A lot of times I don't say anything because I just can't think of an effective and tactful way of saying, "You know, that is really annoying. Stop it before I give into the urge to shank you."

4) You would actually be happy with someone like me.
You chose her for a reason, brother. If she and I are so very different, then chances are you chose her because she actually fulfills more of what turns you on than I do. Sure, we sometimes need a break to recharge, but we always go back to what we enjoy. So, do yourself and the rest of us a favor - get a hobby to destress, recharge your battery, and enjoy that exciting and unpredictable woman you're already with. You'll be more satisfied in the long run.

As for me, I'll just go on doing my own thing...

Heard something very true at work this week.

2014-08-24T17:50:21Z

One of my coworkers was celebrating his 21st wedding anniversary this week. While talking about his wife, he made the following observation:

"My wife is literally the best person I know. I cannot think of anyone more patient, understanding, generous, and all the rest. And yet she has the innate ability to irritate me like no one else alive."

He then went on to say that if he can be annoyed by the most wonderful person he knows, then the problem must be him. And while that may be true, I think it goes to show how no matter how perfect someone may be, sooner or later, they'll get on our nerves and you just have to love them anyway.

My Mayan Horoscope because it amuses me.

2014-08-18T05:09:49Z

Found through http://www.mymayansign.com/

My Day Sign: Cauac / Storm

Personality: Young and vigorous, lively, friendly and helpful. Has an important place in society. Very versatile, a good student and teacher. About healing and purification.
You are lively, talkative, friendly and you have an active mind. You are constantly vigorous and you exist to experience ecstasy. You love to learn and you are an excellent teacher. Because you are always seeking new experiences you may come across internal and external difficulties. You take action then think. For example you jump in the water without knowing how to swim and you try to learn swimming while in the water. During these experiences you may get a few wounds. However, these challenges are life lessons and you wish to enrich your life by taking the risks.[...]
Because you carry such youthful energy, you never age. On the surface, the Storm energy shows power, strength, youth and curiosity. In fact, you have a deeper side and show interest in religion, spirituality and philosophy.[...]
You are highly sensitive and compassionate which causes you to feel a great desire to serve the world.[...]
You are important for your community, and your community is important for you. [...]
You are a good son or daughter and a parent. [...]
You bring humanity the abundance and gifts of the rain. [...]
Challenge: Becoming a healer for others.[...]
Solution: Studying under a master teacher.[...]
Signs that contribute to your growth: Storm, Monkey, Eagle, Night and Deer.[...]

My Galactic Tone: 13 (Ascension)

* Bridge
* Pure creative energy
* Ascension
* Spark of understanding
* Connection to source
* Remembering

You are tolerant and sophisticated. You have unlimited motivation to overcome your obstacles and transform yourself.

My Trecana Sign: Manik/Deer

Besides your birth day, it is important to know which Mayan week you were born into. Unlike the normal week structure we have, the Mayans have the Trecana weeks that are different. The Trecana has 13 days and each day is ruled by one of the 20 signs. The Trecana Sign you were born in gives you integral information about who you are.

Your Day Sign is 75% and your Trecana Sign is 25% effective. If we compare the personality to a picture, the Day Sign will describe what is in the foreground, which is your face. The Trecana Sign describes what is on the background of the picture and this tells us about your personality.

Manik / Deer
You have a calm appearance but in the inside, you have a very strong character. Friendship and camaraderie are important to you. Therefore, your social circle becomes like a family. Generally you are talkative with a peaceful nature. You have strong intuition and reasoning skills which able you to speak courageously and daringly. [...]
You have an enhanced perception of aesthetics and beauty, therefore living with art is perfect for you. You can be content by living away from society and just doing art. Being close to nature will help you to find your true self. [...]
Even though you are a dominant figure, you seldom wish to be a leader. [...]
The best feature that identifies you is your strength. [...]
You prefer relationships with deep love, devotion and loyalty. [...]
The skills and the quality of the work done are important for you. [...]

My Tree of Life Signs

My Past Sign (influence until 12 or 13 years): Chuen / Monkey

Cute, clever and generous. It is impossible not to notice you in the community. Even though you wish to hide yourself at times, that is not possible. You have a strong character and you sometimes choose to stay distant from people because of intense emotions. You become the center of attention with the speed of light due to your charming character and jokes. You can become a highly respected merchant or a speaker.[...]
Being an artist and artisan from birth, the monkey symbolizes the child within us. This child should be given permission to paint the walls of the house or play the violin in a free way or do anything artistic and creative it wants to do. If you are someone that is born under the Monkey Sign, you should give permission to the child within you to play and creatively express itself. That is, if you wish to grow and be free. If you choose the path of oppression and rebuke, this child will become lazy, destructive, disruptive and a huge price will be paid. When your creative channel is open, you can be very beneficial to self and community with your practical mind. People may find it difficult adjusting to your endless questions and innocent curiosity. Since you are friendly and charming, you are very loved by people, which help them to tolerate your curiosity. Be aware that your attention seeking and jokester side needs balance. Otherwise you can be perceived as a clown instead of a charming, funny person. [...]
Monkey is one of the luckiest signs [...]
You may be in the search for a perfect life partner. [...]
The Monkey is also known as the Weaver. You have the ability to handle thoughts as if they were threads, and weave them into our reality. [...]
As a natural leader, you strictly choose leadership or independence; and nothing in between. [...]

Sign of Destiny (after age 40 influence): Manik / Deer

You have a calm appearance but in the inside, you have a very strong character. Friendship and camaraderie are important to you. Therefore, your social circle becomes like a family. Generally you are talkative with a peaceful nature. You have strong intuition and reasoning skills which able you to speak courageously and daringly. [...]
You have an enhanced perception of aesthetics and beauty, therefore living with art is perfect for you. You can be content by living away from society and just doing art. Being close to nature will help you to find your true self. [...]
Even though you are a dominant figure, you seldom wish to be a leader. [...]
The best feature that identifies you is your strength. [...]
You prefer relationships with deep love, devotion and loyalty. [...]
The skills and the quality of the work done are important for you. [...]

My Female Sign: Chicchan / Serpent

You have a strong body and you like to do sports. Your good mental skills provide you with tools to handle stress better than many people. You are interested in science and reading. You have an ability to uncover information that is stored in your genes. Because you like following new information very closely, you can be successful in the field of information technology.[...]
You are always noticeable, but very little is known about you. You are passionate, striking and have strong instincts and all of that makes you a natural leader. You are like a bridge between the limited world and the spiritual yearnings. You carry high spiritual potential that can make you a psychic or spiritual healer.[...]
You can recall the symbol of the Serpent from the Kundalini snake used in yoga or the snake used for medicine. You carry magical powers and have strong connections with the other realms, giving you the opportunity to obtain wisdom that is difficult to understand. [...]
The energy you own is also about your sexuality which brings you the risk of becoming a slave to your desires. [...]
By bringing authority and truth together, you provide quick and final decisions. [...]

My Male Sign: Ben / Cane

You are intelligent, brave and productive. You have strong principles. You are a risk taker and a leader. You have a gift for public speaking and you deal with the results. Even though you like to relax and have fun, you are a disciplined hard worker. Whatever you choose to do, you always stand out in that area. The source of your talent is your self confidence and belief in your basic values. As an intellectual and educated person you attempt to understand the human nature. The Cane is the sign of famous people, psychologists and politicians registered in history.[...]
The Mayans define the Cane sign as the body of the Earth Tree. The Cane person stands just like the body of a thousand year old tree trunk. You have a strong character with an unshakeable confidence. This self confidence comes from knowing thyself and personal power which you display comfortably. Hardships of life make you stronger and you grow from it because you learn lessons from all mistakes and defeats. Besides your tough outlook, you have a compassionate and healing side to you.[...]
You are the spiritual essence, protector and guiding light of the home and family.[...]
You try to bring peace and harmony to all of your relationships in a tough and analytical way. [...]
The empty Ney metaphor in Sufi mysticism is used to explain how the Cane is a channel of Divine Origin. [...]

Calendar

OCTOBER 11 2014 Tzolkin Birthday

Today is your spiritual birthday.
The energy of the day you are born is fully active. Today you are in the day of Storm and 13, and also week of the Deer. This is a very special day that comes around every 260 days. Therefore, today, life seems very meaningful to you. You are at a day that strongly reminds of who you are, why were born and what your life mission is. You can take big steps towards spiritual development by understanding yourself and your spirit. Take time off for yourself today and celebrate...
Have you ever wondered? Sometimes you celebrate your birthday and you just don’t feel or experience anything special. And at other times, you live a very special day but it is not your birthday. Perhaps these kinds of days were your birthdays according to the Mayan calendar. So today is an ideal day to come together with your loved ones and have a party.
What you are living today tells you about your life purpose and why you were born into your sign Storm. You are also given messages and signs that remind you of your spiritual essence. These messages may come to you in various ways such as visions, intuition, dreams, symbols, something you read, in a conversation with someone, in a moment of decision, etc...
The universe can give you a message in any way today and when it does, it is a good idea to take some time to reflect on it by meditating, taking a walk, going in to nature etc...
The least you can do is spend a few minutes to reflect on what message you have received today before going to sleep. Do this with the awareness that you have received something valuable and meaningful in your life that can make a difference.
Today is the day to correct your course of your life. If you are not living a life that serves your life purpose, the universe may try to steer you on to the right route and this can bring some painful lessons. But if you know your route, you can go a long way using the energy of today.
An ideal way to start your day is to listen to your intuition and create new beginnings. Start anything that will be good for your soul like a new job, project, education, hobby or relationship. To create new intentions and make important decisions about your life is very beneficial for you. Any new beginning you make today will be fully supported by the universe. The seeds you plant today will grow in 260 days and become fruitful trees. It is an incredibly ideal day to receive any form of advice, counseling or healing.

JUNE 28 2015 - Tzolkin Birthday - Next one.

I'll be honest, the only part I have a problem with are some of the "monkey traits" I supposedly had as a youth. I just don't see myself as a joker and while I have achieved some charm as an adult, I was a very introverted child.

The ringtone my daughter has for me...

2014-07-17T03:27:12Z

"Coming Home" by Skylar Grey

I'm coming home,
I'm coming home,
Tell the World I'm coming home,
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday,
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes,
I'm coming home,
I'm coming home,
Tell the World that I'm coming...

The most popular version is just this part repeated throughout a rap by P. Diddly, which I really don't care for. I did find another version by Skylar Grey alone:

I am actually drawn to the chorus and a bit surprised that my daughter chose it for me.

Forgot to mention...

2014-05-21T05:30:51Z

My granddaughter's name is going to be Athena Jayden. I've already created an email account in her name so I can send pictures and notes to it. When she's 18, I'll give her the password to it.

At the moment, she has her sonograms, some family history & pictures, and the story of how she got her name - as well as a picture of her first baby blanket made specifically for her by a friend/coworker of mine.

My walking playlist

2014-04-13T02:35:48Z

Lunch with a coworker

2014-04-12T22:23:19Z

After I grumbled about the state of my finances:

Him: I'll help you find another job. Or a sugar daddy, if you want.

Me: (silence because I wasn't sure I heard him right and I had food in my mouth)

Him: I'll have to find a smart guy, though. You need a smart guy. And good looking too.

Me, after laughing: Well, he doesn't have to be good looking. Smart and rich is enough for me.

Note to self

2014-04-08T12:49:21Z

When going back over your own journal to remove (most of) the broken images, you might want to re-read the full post and those just preceding it, before condemning yourself as an arrogant idiot for writing said post. Everything in context.

My High Octane Playlist

2014-04-06T02:53:24Z

My America playlist (apologies to Mexico and Canada, etc.)

2014-03-28T04:32:16Z

Okay, a few weeks ago I came across a Facebook article about "American" parties in other countries. It was amusing and probably makes up for some of the foreign-country-theme parties in the US. Still confused by the mini-marshmallows on toothpicks, though. I'm thinking mini-roasted-marshmallows. Didn't see any chocolate bars or graham crackers for S'mores.

Last month, I put together a semi-master list of my favorite songs, and I've been trying to decide on playlists. It hasn't been that easy, because once I think of a theme, most of them seem awkward. So I started to wonder what type of songs I would have on ex-pat playlist, if I lived somewhere else, like a different country, or alternate universe. I almost included Mexican and Canadian songs, but I'm now thinking I'm going to create an around the world playlist next. I already have a few selected for that. I didn't just want the obvious songs, though I did include some. I avoided a few because I either don't care for them, or have bad memories associated with them. At the end the list, I have several military songs, because the playlist is like five hours long and if I'm listening that long, then I'm really homesick. Of course, I had to have the Air Force one first, since I was born on an Air Force base.

America|Neil Diamond
Sweet Home Alabama|Lynyrd Skynyrd
Heads Carolina, Tails California|Jo Dee Messina
City Of New Orleans|Arlo Guthrie
The Night Chicago Died|Paper Lace
Southern Nights|Glen Campbell
Never Been To Spain|Three Dog Night
Uncle Jave|Wayne Greene
Forest Lawn|John Denver
One Piece At A Time|Johnny Cash
Indian Reservation (The Lament Of The Cherokee Reservation Indian)|Paul Revere & The Raiders
The Heart Of Rock And Roll|Huey Lewis & The News
Arthur's Theme|Christopher Cross
Wichita Lineman|Glen Campbell
Walking In Memphis|Marc Cohn
Mother Nature's Son (2011 Rocky Mountain High)|John Denver
Wide Open Spaces|Dixie Chicks
Brooklyn Roads|Neil Diamond
Hello Seattle|Owl City
The Devil Went Down To Georgia|The Charlie Daniels Band
Cotton Eyed Joe|Al Dean
If You're Gonna Play In Texas (You Gotta Have A Fiddle In The Band)|Alabama
Toledo|John Denver
The Eagle And The Hawk|John Denver
Mayberry|Rascal Flatts
Boondocks|Little Big Town
Movin' Right Along|Fozzie
This Land Is Your Land|Peter, Paul & Mary
Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree (Digitally Remastered 1998)|Tony Orlando & Dawn
Thank God I'm A Country Boy|John Denver
Prayer Song|Robby Romero
Come, Come, Ye Saints (A Cappella)|Clayton Pixton
America The Beautiful|Lee Greenwood
El Paso|Marty Robbins
Proud Mary|Tina Turner
Arizona (Re-Recorded / Remastered)|Mark Lindsay
Do You Know The Way To San Jose|Dionne Warwick
East Feliciana|Wayne Greene
I'm. I Said|Neil Diamond
Rocky Mountain High (2011 Rocky Mountain High)|John Denver
Galveston|Glen Campbell
Only In America|Brooks & Dunn
(Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay|Otis Redding
Walking To New Orleans|Fats Domino
The Battle Hymn Of The Republic|Lee Greenwood
Take Me Home, Country Roads|John Denver
Simple Gifts|Alison Krauss
Long Time Gone|Dixie Chicks
America|Simon & Garfunkel
Kentucky Rain|Elvis Presley
My Hometown|Bruce Springsteen
Riding With Private Malone|The Hit Crew
God Bless The U.S.A.|Lee Greenwood
California Dreamin'|The Mamas & The Papas
When The Saints Go Marching In|Louis Armstrong
Streets Of Loredo|Marty Robbins
Born In The U.S.A.|Bruce Springsteen
North To Alaska|Johnny Horton
It Never Rains in Southern California|Albert Hammond
Authority Song|John Mellencamp
On Broadway|George Benson
The Kid's American|Matthew Wilder
Living In America|James Brown
America|Rita Moreno
California Girls|Beach Boys
By The Time I Get To Phoenix|Glen Campbell
Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World|Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
The End of Innocence|Don Henley
They Call The Wind Maria|Ed Ames
American Pie|Don McLean
Convoy|C.W. McCall
Half-Breed|Cher
Pink Houses|John Mellencamp
Allentown|Billy Joel
Sunset Grill|Don Henley
Saturday In The Park|Chicago
Me and You and a Dog Named Boo|Lobo
Taking It to the Streets|The Doobie Brothers
Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)|Alan Jackson
The Star Spangled Banner|Whitney Houston
Wild Blue Yonder (Air Force Theme)|Patriotic Players
My Country 'Tis Of Thee|Fourth of July
God Bless America|Patriotic Players
Halls Of Montezuma (United States Marine Corps Hymn)|Will Schaefer
The Caissons Go Rolling Along (US Army Anthem)|Will Schaefer
Anchors Aweigh (United States Naval Academy Fight Song)|Patriotic Players

How to scare your mother.

2014-03-19T02:46:48Z

Courtesy of my son, Jacob.

Might as well..

2014-01-01T07:58:26Z

1. Was 2013 a good year for you?
Stressful, but some good things happened.

2. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
Have gluten-free pizza.

3. What was your favourite moment of the year?
Vacation in Dallas. Got to spend one-on-one time with two of my sisters, and two friends I met on the internet, but known for several years.

4. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
July - working for a poor manager, during my emotional worse part of the year, while work was swamped in general to the point of mandatory overtime. July was also my late mother's birth month and this way the first birthday since her death in February.

5. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I got a job. I'm always setting goals for myself, so I'm not sure I can classify them as resolutions.

6. What are your plans for 2014?
Getting a new car. Possibly a promotion at work.

7. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one really close, but one gal from my training class had a baby boy and a second cousin also had a boy.

8. Did anyone close to you die?
My mother died at the end of February.

9. How many weddings did you go to?
None. Not invited to any.

10. What countries did you visit?
None, unless you want count Texas as its own country.

11. What dates in 2013 will remain etched in your memory?
January 21st - Started working for AT&T.
February 23rd - I was sleeping in Mom's hospital room, when the doctor woke me up to tell me that my mother was no longer responding to stimuli.
February 26rd - My mother's body finally died.
March 1st - Mom's funeral service. I was delayed because I was stuck in traffic.
May 20th - Moore Tornado
September 6th - Met my internet friend Vivian for the first time.
November 8th - Had the worst attack on gastritis in my life, after accidently eating something with flour in it.

12. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I was the top tech rep in the company for three days in October.

13. What was your biggest failure?
I never put the novel I wrote in 2012 up on Smashwords. Still don't have a cover image I like for it.

14. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Uh, yes. Though I may know what is at base of several of my health issues now - gluten intolerance.

15. What was the best thing you bought?
My pajamas.

16. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My bestfriend, who came all the way from West Texas to support me after my mother's death.

17. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Politicians in general and those who obsess over their favorite political parties like highschool students defending their school sports team.

18. Where did most of your money go?
Living expenses, supporting my kids in times of crisis, water because of a leaky faucet.

19. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My friend Jeremy and his wife moving to the US, close enough for me to eventually visit in person.

20. What songs will always remind you of 2013?
"I'm Not That Girl" from the play Wicked.

21. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Visit friends. Write more.

22. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying about things I couldn't change.

23. How did you spend Christmas?
Alone with the cats, creating stuff.

24. Which LJ users did you meet for the first time?
None.

25. Did you fall in love in 2013?
No, but I finally admitted that I do have a celebrity crush.

26. What was your favourite month of 2013?
September.

27. How did you see in the New Year?
Filling out this list and being on Facebook.

28. What was your favourite TV show?
Community

29. Do you dislike anyone now that you didn't dislike this time last year?
Do people I didn't know yet count? I guess we could count the commedian Leo Gallagher. The guy has become a really bitter bastard.

30. What was/were the best books you read?
Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened.

31. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Wicked.

32. What did you want and get?
A job.

33. What did you want and not get?
A new car.

34. What was your favourite film this year?
I don't go to movie theaters much. I get DVDs. So, Wreck-it Ralph.

35. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
The kids and I ate out the night before. I turned 49. I spent my actual birthday finishing some projects and planning next year's birthday theme.

36. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Getting things repaired around the house.

37. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Geek and comfort.

38. What kept you sane?
Candy Crush and other games. Looking for new interviews by Ian McDiarmid.

39. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
I refer you to the last question.

40. Which political issue stirred you the most?
Partisan stupidity.

41. Who did you miss?
Mom.

42. Did you treat somebody badly in 2013?
I vaguely remember being a bitch to someone this summer and apologizing, but I don't remember who it was now. Headaches do that to you.

43. Did somebody treat you badly in 2013?
Yeah. However, they're horrible to just about everybody, so no reason to take it personal.

44. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
If you project competence, people will believe you are competent, even if you majorly screw-up.

45. What would you like to have in 2014 that you didn't have in 2013?
A boyfriend.

46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year...
From "Cups" (Pitch Perfect's When I'm Gone):

I've got my ticket for the long way 'round
The one with the prettiest of views
It's got mountains, it's got rivers
It's got sights to give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you

When I'm gone, when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my walk
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

When I'm gone, when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my hair
You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh
You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone

Trying to pinpoint my unease

2013-12-25T21:37:18Z

First off, Merry Christmas everyone!

Anyway, I had an interaction with a coworker yesterday which is still vexing me today. To be honest, I should be happy with the result because I was able to prove that taking the high generosity ground reaps greater benefits.

On the other hand, while I tried not to make a big deal about it, my coworker displayed an increase in selfish behavior later that day.

We had a food day for Christmas Eve at work. Since being only current team, I've made a habit of bringing something extra so if someone forgets to bring something I can cover them by saying that I brought that dish on their behalf. I do this because the team I was on before had someone who was a real bitch and tried to shame people out of participating in all rapport building activities. It was hell working around that person and I wanted to promote a feeling of including in my new team because people generally work better when they don't feel like outcasts. I also did it because I knew that one of my coworkers was having a rough time making ends meet because his home got hit with the tornado last May and they had a newborn. I knew that another coworker showed signs of being overwhelmed and I figured she would probably forget too.

The second food day I brought extra stuff because I knew that some of our people were on vacation and wouldn't know about or remember it. We were being swamped at work, so I didn't have a chance to meet personally with one of the people who had forgotten instead I did a message in our team chat room telling her that I wanted her to know that the dish was on her behalf because she was my teammate and didn't want her to feel left out. Our new manager picked up on that and echoed that we were a team and that no one should be excluded. I'm pretty sure this was what lost him the position as our manager, because the coworker I had the interaction with yesterday is someone who believes that if you don't bring something, you shouldn't eat. She is also someone who pitches a fit to upper management whenever she can't get her way. She has cost more than one supervisory person to be removed from our team because they offended her. And then she had the gall to make comments like "oh it's a shame they aren't with us anymore," and "I'm a nice person; I want the best for everyone." In my experience, if you have to remind people that you're nice, it's because you aren't nice. Only people trying to justify their bad behavior go out of their way to tell people how nice they are. Now, I'm not saying that this woman doesn't do nice things and show generosity on occasion - in fact she will go overboard with how much she spends to highlight how awesome she can be - but she has this obsession with not being cheated that pretty much submarines the goodwill of others.

Which brings us to yesterday. I was originally going to bring brownies to get rid of the mixes in our house, but then I realized that even though I signed up first, most of the rest of our team was bringing sweets too, which would have made our Christmas Eve food day a diabetic nightmare. So, I became the only person to bring an entrée. I also brought the ham sausage my dad sent me because I can only handle so much ham and we had the ham from my son's work too. (Both hams were awesome BTW. I just can only eat so much of it.) The coworker mentioned that it was nice of me to do that and I pointed out that I normally bring extra stuff to so others can eat too. She brought up her objection to doing that because some people are leeches and bring very little or none at all and she feels that wrong. I said that when I tell someone that I specifically brought the food so they can participate, they tend to feel obligated to bring their own stuff later. Because I didn't want to name names, I refrained from pointing out that the last two food days, everyone brought stuff and no one forgot about it. I also admitted that I did realize that there are people who take advantage of others, though I've never brought food for someone like that. I surmised that it might be something unconscious on my part that causes me to avoid doing so. But to be honest, I'm actually surprised of the results of my generosity this year, though I didn't say this to my coworker. Yet at the same time, it bears out what I know about humans and group behaviors from grad school. No matter how introverted and individual people can be, there is a hard wired response to conform to the expectations of any group we feel accepted by. The response can be fought and undermined, but it is one of the basic underpinnings of social cohesion - something my former team lacked.

Of course I didn't give my coworker that lecture. Instead, we silently agreed to disagree - or at least I assume so with her response of "well, that wasn't the way I was raised." A great observation to lead to self enlightenment, but a lousy reason to do something. And I pointed out that I was raised by someone who had a similar view as her and I choose not to follow it because I saw how bitter it made her. Maybe I shouldn't have share that last part, no matter how true it is.

Later the teams that work the early shift were given a chance to leave early. Personally, as someone who had worked the early shift at another company, I realize that those shifts usually get shafted when it comes to early release times. I have no problem with those who come early, leaving first when work is slow. It wouldn't have even been an issue if it weren't for the fact that one of our teammates were told about the time available by a friend on an early shift. Not only did this teammate apply for the time off in our system, despite the fact that at that time she would have had to come back after lunch, but being the inexperienced person that she was, she told everyone around her about it. Which led to several people trying to apply for it and being denied, including the coworker I had been discussing generosity with. She threw a fit about how unfair it was, even though we all knew that if things stayed slow, we'd get offered the same opportunity in fact, our manager was able to get approval for us to extend our lunch to enjoy our potluck. But even with that, my vocal coworker could not stop her outrage about not being able to leave when the early shifts did.

As it turned out, we did get a chance to leave early. I was approved to leave 3 hours early, though I had to take the last of my accrued paid leave for the last hour. Not a problem considering my leave balances will be reset in a week.

I guess I sort of feel responsible for my coworker's tantrum, even though she still would have complained, I'm not sure she would have been so childish about it if I haven't made her feel insecure.

Crap

2013-08-25T13:36:54Z

I thought I had more posted on here recently. Guess I have some summarizing to do or figure out where I did post the stuff.

Finally saw The Odds with Mark Strong and Ian McDiarmid.

2013-06-15T16:34:58Z

Had to rent it through http://abbottvision.com/the-odds/ (via Distrify) and ended up paying a total of $3.59 for a one time viewing (I'm blaming the exchange rate, since the distribution company is stationed in Scotland), but I was satisfied enough with the short film (12 minutes) not to be overly bothered by that.

As much as I would love for y'all to watch it yourself, I realize that it might not be quite as worth it for you, but I really do want to share the story with you. (I did look to see if they had like a giftcard-like thing, but couldn't find anything.)

So for the protection of those of you who actually do want to watch it ....

The film starts with the gambler sitting in a folding chair in a large cement room. The casino floor manager walks in and asks the gambler knows why he is there. The gambler acts harmless and timid, insisting that he doesn't know what the manager is talking about - he just had a very lucky 5 hours of gambling. The first time he had ever been so lucky. The manager pulls over the table and another chair, and with a deck of cards, goes into a mini-lecture about card counting with a demonstration, while studying the gambler's face. He tells the gambler that they are going to play, because he can tell a lot about someone by how they play their cards in an hour. Everything from his black suit to the shiny name badge, shows us that the manager is a serious man, who doesn't like to be made a fool of. The gambler looks properly cowed, but still denies that he understands what the manager is talking about and refuses to play.

The manager states how he hated how people like the gambler would waltz through his casino, right beneath his nose, and scam money from the house. He goes on about how he knows odds - that it is his business to know odds.

Then the manager makes a weird comment: "Why is it that you and your kind never use your talents for good - to help the police or something? Instead you come into my establishment and steal from me."

Of course, the gambler says that he doesn't know what he means. The manager talks about odds again, before asking the gambler in a sincere voice, "When did you find out you had your gift?"

Again the gambler denies having a clue what he's talking about. The manager accuses hims of being psychic. There is actually an eager hunger in his eyes, as he talks about how he had always wanted to catch a psychic at cheating. Again the gambler denies it.

That's when we find out that during the 5 hours of gambling, the gambler had not lost even ONE game. The manager gives the odds of such a thing happening to be the same as being blown out of a plan and hit by a meteorite as he fell, while holding the winning lottery ticket for the double Europe rollover. "It just doesn't happen!"

The manage pulls out the deck of cards again and tells the gambler to tell him which card he is holding. The gambler says the wrong card. He gives the wrong answer for several other cards. About the time you realize he is being wrong a little too often, he names the right card. The manager sets his hands on the table and points out that being wrong most of the time can be just as much of an indication of knowledge, as getting everything right.

The gambler's demeanor changes. "All right," he says, "You got me. I'll come clean." This time he names every card correctly. As the manager becomes more intense, the gambler pointedly look at the manager's left side. Misunderstanding what the gambler is looking at, the manager looks behind him, before looking down and realizing that the cards are being clearly reflected on his shiny name badge.

Then we see the power shift. The manager crumbles a little and the gambler smiles. When he asks if he can cash his chips out now, the manager nods. Standing up, the gambler says in a casual voice, "You know, it's actually a good thing for you that I am not psychic. If I was psychic, then I would know about that pretty little girl you've been having an affair with and that you skim 3% of the profits every Thursday night." He mentions another secret, which I don't remember now. The manager stares at him. Then the gambler leans in and says "and I would know about this," whispering something into the shocked manager's ear.

The gambler squeezes the manager's shoulder and walks off, leaving the manager alone in the room.

Mom's Obit

2013-02-28T08:18:23Z

http://m.normantranscript.com/normantrans/pm_112598/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=TWpuN0Ki

A sister changed it up a little because she wanted it to have one more piece of information, which is cool because I had asked if we should have it, but I was at work and not easily available for the rewrite.

Mom took her last breath today.

2013-02-27T03:10:41Z

It was around 7am this morning. Of course, she's been braindead since Saturday morning, after suffering multiple strokes during the past week.

In sympathy, my laptop has decided to act braindead also. I hope its mourning is temporary. In the meanwhile, I have to think of stuff to help one of my sisters write her eulogy. I got off easy by writing the obituary, which should be in the papers tomorrow.

Cool image

2013-01-17T23:35:04Z

Source: imgur.com via Oen on Pinterest

Happy New Year, everyone!

2013-01-01T06:43:55Z

May this next year be a happy and prosperous one.

Today sucked.

2012-12-21T06:08:10Z

Okay, it's after midnight, so technically yesterday sucked. And I really don't want to get into it now.

But I had to share this. My mother, of course, had to share her theory on the Mayan Calendar thing with me.

According to her, aliens told the Mayans to create then calendar to foretell when they would return and harvest the crop of PEOPLE they "planted" (or grafted or whatever). So, on 12-21-2012, the aliens will come back and that the descendants of the hybrids they originally created.

Then Mom started explaining why she thought that she was one of those hybrids and I suppose she's expecting them to take her away. Unfortunately, if she's right, they would be taking her kids and grandkids too. So, if I disappear today, it's been great knowing you all.

Glad I reserved the date 4 dozen years ago.

2012-12-12T12:40:37Z

4*12 years ago, at true noon on the 12th day of December, I screamed at my mother for the first time. At least she said I screamed. :)

Yes, I'm gloating about having a birthday on 12/12/12. It's a geek thing.

mamaslyth @ 2012-12-11T23:09:00

2012-12-12T05:09:02Z

Did my birthday dinner a day early, since apparently other people have plans to do things like get marry or otherwise celebrate for good luck. I don't like too much noise, so I will spend 12/12/12, turning 48 with some really yummy cake (and doing the paperwork for my newest job).

My 12 for 2012 are now done.

January & February: (1) write and (2) put my mind-bender story up on Amazon for the Kindle.
March: Write a story in a way I've always wanted to try, based on one of my favorite authors.
April 24th: go to the Festival of the Arts
May 8th thru 11th: Go to Chicago to see Timon of Athens
June: Nada. See November for the catch-up goal.
July: went on a vacation out of state with my best friend and her two young children.
August finished reading Jung's Red Book.
September: write a story using the Kishotenketsu concept of plot.
October: Put together a collection of my old short stories in a format for an ereader (not through KDP)
November: finish my part of The Path of Destruction short story collection & attend an art exhibit with panel.
December: treat myself with a expensive dinner on my birthday.

It was an interesting ride and fate did try to send me a curve ball, but a best friend and a sister can really help at times like that. Still had to change some of the original goals due to lack of available resources, unexpected opportunities, and various things outside of my control.

As an update, I've removed my one story from KDP and added it to a short story collection on Smashwords, Scheherazade's Box. The poetry inspired story is also in the same short story collection and is also part of A Tragic Tapestry, which was once The Path of Destruction. I hope to have that novel, told through a series of short stories up before the end of the year. The Kishotenketsu story is also part of Scheherazade's Box. Had a wonderful time going to art fairs and showings with my son. Enjoyed a vacation with my best friend and her children.

And now I'm stuffed from enjoying a great meal with my own children. Here's to a wonderful 12/12/12 - my birthday! May you also enjoy it.

One of my favorite TV shows

2012-12-10T23:24:01Z

Leverage is on the TNT cable TV network, so I really didn't get hooked on it until like August, when ION got the syndication rights to broadcast the first 3 seasons. Since then, I've caught most of the last two seasons on the Youtube channel that published the video I've embedded in this post. In my defense, I have bought one episode through Amazon Instant Video, but my current internet connection is a bit too flaky for streaming HD stuff. I actually have better luck watching the low definition version on Youtube. I'm glad one of the producers considers piracy to be a distribution problem, because in my case, it is.

I'm really, really hoping TNT renews them for a sixth season. Last week's episode was awesome. I can't believe that there would even be a question of renewal with the show being nominated for the People's Choice Awards' Favorite Cable TV Drama - http://www.peopleschoice.com/pca/votenow.jsp

I mean seriously TNT, how many other of your shows are on that list? NONE. What sort of crack are your executives on?

Probably the same kind SyFy was on when they cancelled the popular show Eureka.

In other news, I've been playing the casual computer games my daughter bought me for my birthday/Christmas. I did suggest that she could get me the DVDs for Leverage, but she thought these games would entertain me longer. Considering I've already beaten over two-thirds of the puzzle quests, I'm not sure her assessment was correct.