Manaf and his screwed up life

In India Again and Fucking bored with life

2010-03-24T12:49:00.000+05:30

OK I am in India again.For 36 days this time.I am getting bored and I am having a midlife crisis at the age of 27.My mom and dad wants me to get married.I am still not sure what I want.Getting married seems like the end of my life.I still feel like I haven't done anything with my life although I have done been in situations which a normal person wouldn't be in.But I feel like I played it too safe in my life that I missed out on a lot.And I am fucking bored with everything.I used to watch 2 three movies a day,in fact I watched so many movies that I ran out of good movies in English and started watching french,Korean,Japanese,Swedish movies etc with subtitles.I used to be a huge David Lynch fan,I still haven't watched his latest movie even after having it in my movie archive.I finished Stephen King's book "The Stand"(which was 1420 pages long)in 4 days.Now I have his latest book "Under The Dome" with me and i still haven't got to the quarter of that book.I just bought Ayn Rand's sociological fiction work "Atlas Shrugged"which showcases her unique Philosophy "Objectivism" and I haven't even started reading it.I wanted to go to Europe this year to see the sights,but i just don't feel like it.Fuck I am so bored with my life.

This wasn't what my life was supposed to be like

2010-02-20T00:29:00.001+05:30

As above

Things until Now

2009-05-28T19:32:00.004+05:30

Ok,

Its been like 3 months since i have posted anything new.In this time I got myself a new apartment for three months.Is being booted out of that apartment after two months.Because i have been suckered.I got my self a brand new pc using almost the sort of money an ordinary person spends in one year.I bought myself all the books i wanted.But in the end i am left with a big hole in my life,because there is nothing for me to look forwrd to....

All the superficial things i always wanted has been done.There is nothing left except maybe the world tour I have been looking forward to.But not this year,but i have to start saving some money and start investing in land or something.Anyway save money in general!!!!!

Earlier I said I don't want to do the world tour,It is because if I do that too I would have nothing left to look forward to.

anyway here is the my ramblings for the past 3 months,hope to have some more soon

Back in Abu Dhabi 12-02-2009 to ?????

2009-02-18T20:54:00.004+05:30

10 years,Its hard to believe it has been that long since I been here.When I left I never expected to come back to this place again.But life takes strange turns.It never turns out like we expect.Well its just been a week so let us see what the future will bring.

The Return of the Native

2009-02-02T23:37:00.005+05:30

Hey its been a while since I posted because frankly I was ashamed to post because I was without a job and it would feel like too much whining on my part if I kept complaining about it.It seems finally the day has come to stop this silence and time to move on.

So much happened in these few months, went on a tour with friends,got into a fight with my brother.Learned how to make a person feel bad,etc.

What have I learned from all this???

Nothing,I guess.I am still human and i might still make mistakes but will try as hard as i can to learn from my previous mistakes.

So as I was saying got a new job in U.A.E

So I am moving towards my destiny, to the place I was born,the place I spent most of my childhood,the place my dad spent 30 years working and at last after a decade it is finally...........

The Return of the Native.

Entry into late twenties

2008-06-15T14:49:00.003+05:30

Ok the day i have been dreading for the past few years is hear.I am officially part of the late twenties group.I am 26.People would probably want to know what i have accomplished in this 26 years.NOTHING.Yup thats right,nothing.I have wasted my life away and every day people look at me with pity and compare me to people who have accomplished much.But i have one better i am fat,yeah seriously fat and everybody including my parents tell me that i look like shit.Thank you everybody that is exactly what i needed.By now my best friend is not my best friend any more.......Probably the whole world knows about this because i whine about it a lot these days.Most probably i will more fat,more miserable and more of a loser than today.You know what i want for my birthday,i want a giant robot from one of those manga serial like Macross i used to watch while i was small.So that i can use it and kill all the motherfucking bastards who has the number one priority to judge me...

P.S----This birthday was better than the one the year before and the year before that,,where everybody forgot my birthday including my parents.Last year everybody in firstsource(the firm i used to work before)knew it was my birthday because i gave them candy on that day but forgot to have a birthday party because i usually take charge of birthdays and other stuff in the post paid section.But what pissed me off was that few days later there was a party for eldho which i took charge but at the last minute they had the shitty idea to put my name in the cake....Seriously it would look like i arrange for my own birthday party,,,How pathetic is that...

OK ANYWAY HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME AND I HOPE THE BASTARD WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATING THIS BIRTHDAY CRAP DIED OF SYPHLIS......

The artistic merit and the functional purpose of being an asshole..

2008-06-09T00:43:00.005+05:30

I would prefer being an asshole than a hypocrite.
I admit that i am a greedy asshole.But i believe i am not enough of an asshole.I still like and is faithful to a few people.But i am trying to change that too.You see people who treat you like crap doesn't care about you or how you feel.They just want wants their things to get done...So the feeling when you are treated like crap is really the worst there is.So be the asshole and treat others like crap so that you are oblivious to other peoples problems and you only care about yours.So when you live such a cold existence nobody or nothing can hurt you.What you need to understand is that people you probably like and care about will probably treat you like crap some other day in the future.So what you need to do is treat them like crap first so that you gain the advantage..
But please realize that you are an asshole,don't delude yourself into being a hypocrite by claiming that what you did was right.A perfect asshole doesn't do anything for others.But you will be happy,because nobody can hurt you in this crappy thing we call life..

My Religion

2008-06-09T00:02:00.004+05:30

I thought i would talk about religion a little bit.About MY religious beliefs,that is.

I am a Muslim by birth but could say that i am an agnostic by beliefs.I have an orthodox Muslim family.But they try to brainwash me with religious beliefs especially my mom.But i believe one should have the freedom and the ability to question his purpose and truth of existence.I refuse to believe that we were created as a fluke of nature but i refuse to believe the fairy tales told by the religions also...As far as i have seen most of the biggest wars in the world was fought over what religion other people believes in.But the crappiest thing is this doesn't affect people in any fundamental way as human beings,but every religion now seems like an excuse for people to indulge in their greed for money and power.Most of the religious leaders in most of the religions are hypocrites.In Islam the previous generation of old bastards who think they control the destiny of their flock thought that television was one of the greatest evil,but now every asshole wants their own TV program because they know that it brings them money and fame.

What i want to basically say is why doesn't these bastards admit what they are,Horny,Greedy or whatever instead of being holier than though??????

My Best Friend's wedding

2008-06-05T00:59:00.005+05:30

As per the title it was my best friend Bipin's wedding last month.For him it was a good day but for me it was the crappiest day of my life.I was really excited about it,because it is my best friends freaking wedding.We were friends from college and he was the first best friend i ever had.You see i was always the outsider during my school years and i liked it because i knew that the rest of the kids were disgusted by me....
But this guy came up to me like he was going to rag me on the first day of college and since i am a violent person by nature i was preparing for a fight but he cooled me down and we were best friends from then onwards.
But all these changed last month,He knew my parents very well and i knew his parents also.But for the wedding all he did was just call me up and kind of told me to be there but kind of only mentioned my parents in passing.He mentioned that he has a sprain in his leg so he wouldn't be able to come to invite me personally but only when i asked him about coming.
The fact is he lives like 25 minutes away from me and he couldn't come to invite me or my family although he goes to work traveling for like one and half hours.But as fate would have it my brother's friend's brother got married on the same month.He lives like 2 hrs away and because of the traffic jam probably would take 4 hrs to reach here,but the fact is he did even though it wasted half a day he took the effort.If it was mine or my brother's wedding i would have gone personally and invited Bipin and his mom and dad,if due to some unforeseen circumstance i was unable i would have sent my brother or failing that my parents.
To top this all I met another friend of ours called Denzil like 3 days before the wedding.The thing is i am not much of a religious guy but not an atheist either,but this random encounter seemed like a sign from god telling to open my eyes.Denzil informed me that there is going to be a get together of friends on the night before the wedding.He isn't that close to Bipin but i seemed to be mysteriously misinformed about this function.So when he asked me whether i am going to be there i had to lie and say something like i have somewhere else I have to be,,blah blah blah etc.I was so embarrassed to tell him that since I am not invited for the party i couldn't attend because then I would be like a wedding crasher.So what I gather from these events is that I am just not that important a person to him as he is to me.Moreover,he is just taking me for granted.Since I always stand by my friends he expected that i would be there no matter how he treated me.
I always criticize people for being emotional fools and being loyal to people who doesn't care about others.So if i went to this wedding i would be a hypocrite,so i didn't bother to go even though it was the hardest decision i ever made in my life...
Like one month before the wedding i spent like 1000 bucks to buy a dress for myself just for that occasion.I also planned on buying an expensive Fast Track watch from Titan for my friend Bipin.The thing is although he is financially well off he always had a crappy and cheap watch.So during the last of our college days i told him i will buy him a watch for his wedding to Liji his love of almost ten years.Although he did not take it seriously that was a promise I planned to keep.But now I have a watch but no friend to give it to.Just like the rest of my life.
I have stood by him during fights in the college and I would have taken a bullet for him if the need arose.But i was insulted and felt small in front of my parents for having a friend like him.Probably he would have forgot my face by this shot time.I always regarded friends more than family because i was treated like shit by family whom i thought was really close to me.But now i find that friendship also ends this way.I think i have lost my ability to trust anybody again.I feel like crawling inside my skin to die.I had lost my belief in everything else in this world,but friendship was the only thing i still believed in but now i know better.You cannot trust anybody other than ourselves.But although my friendship with him is over and I think I will probably will never see him again i believe i have made the right decision for once in my life.

But then why does it still feels like there is a hole where my heart used to be!!!!!!!!!

Cylons have feelings too!!!!!!!!

2008-05-17T02:15:00.004+05:30

We as a people have a responsibility to all living things...Even if they look like toasters.So please do what you can to help this poor toas..sorry Cylon.I know that is a hurtful word and politically incorrect.my bad........

The image is courtesy of my friend Roshan from

awakeanddreaming.org

Dvd writer

2008-05-07T14:32:00.002+05:30

So i have been having some problems with my samsung dvd writer whenever i tried copying some file from a dvd it takeslike 10 minutes and to write a dvd at 8X takes 45 minutes.But after researching for a while i found out it was a problem with my IDE Channel configuration.The dvd drive was set in PIO mode instead of DMA Mode.So i tried changing it to DMA the easy way but it did not work,so i uninstalled and reinstalled the primary IDE channel.Now the writer is working perfectly.If you want to do this go to My Computer-Properties-Hardware Tab-device Manager.You can find everything i talked about there.

Been away because????????

2008-05-04T19:39:00.003+05:30

Ok I haven't been blogging for a while the reason..........Because
A:----I am lazy by nature?????
B:----I was kidnapped by aliens,anally probed and didn't like what they saw?????
C----I was secretly cloning Hitler and now that i know him personally I find he is kind of a wussy(or maybe me not knowing German has something to do with it!!)????
D----PROCASTINATING??????

What is your Opinion???????

Missing the missing Cat

2008-02-02T01:26:00.000+05:30

I had a cat whom I named Tigger after the character from Winnie,the pooh--the cartoon.He was with us for an year and mysteriously disappeared last week.Everyone of us miss him.He was lazy,sleeps all day and he was a great looking cat(although we called him Tigger he was more like Garfield).I don't know where he is.He usually never goes out but he disappeared last week suddenly.Even for mating seasons they don't disappear like that.He was a member of this family and in his quite way was with us during every sort of difficulty we had to face last year.He was our good luck charm.People say he probably died but I refuse to believe that.I don't care what the truth is!I believe he is probably traveling the world and having the adventure of a lifetime.
"This post is dedicated to you Tigger,you are irreplaceable.You will always have a place in this family.So break every rules and have the adventure of a life time!!!!!!!!

From My family

Blog look

2008-01-25T03:06:00.000+05:30

I decided to change the look of the blog from black to blue.Because I think Black just looked too depressing.Now I think it's a little better,That is in my humble opinion.

I am back!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-25T03:01:00.000+05:30

I know i haven't been posting in this blog for a while,that's because my motherboard died on me and I had to avail the warranty in order to get it repaired (thankfully it's warranty period wasn't over).It almost took a month to get it sorted out.It was such a shitty time.I felt like I lost a lover.so hopefully will post more regularly from now on.

Eagles are back

2007-12-17T19:10:00.000+05:30

Hey, Eagles are back after 28yrs with a brand new album.They say this might be their last studio album.So one of the greatest musical act of all time are finally over.The new album is titled "Long Road Out Of Eden".And as i found out like good wine they have only mellowed with age.They have still got that signature sound responsible for songs like,"Hotel California,Desperado,James Dean,Tequila Sunrise" etc.

If you need more info here is what Wikipedia has to say about them:------

The Eagles are an American rock band that was formed in Los Angeles, California in the early 1970s. With five Number 1 singles and four Number 1 albums, the Eagles were among the most successful recording artists of the 1970s. At the end of the 20th century, two of their albums, Eagles: Their Greatest Hits 1971–1975 and Hotel California, ranked among the ten best-selling albums according to the Recording Industry Association of America. The best-selling studio album Hotel California is rated as the 37th album in the Rolling Stone list "The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time", and the band was ranked number 75 on Rolling Stone's 2004 list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.They are also the best-selling American group ever, with Eagles: Their Greatest Hits 1971–1975 being the best-selling album in the U.S. to date.
The Eagles broke up in 1980, but reunited in 1994 for Hell Freezes Over, a mix of live and new studio tracks. They have toured intermittently since then, and were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1998.

In 2007, the Eagles released "Long Road Out of Eden", their first full studio album in 28 years.

Visit the original Wikipedia article for even more details

Here is Their latest video "How Long"

P.S---"Now go get the album you fool instead of wasting your time".

Saint Rockey,Third time's the charm

2007-12-15T20:42:00.000+05:30

Today I will talk about the St.Rockey incident.well 3 incidents,around two years back this bus called St.Rockey had a conductor and a cleaner who used to behave badly toward school kids, especially girls.One day,this cleaner while at the bus stand kind of insulted my cousin sis,Asha who is also the sis of my best friend.I came to know about this news from her brother.so,me, my bro(Muneem),Shafee(the bro of Asha),Achu(another cousin) and Gafoor(another friend) we waited for the bus at our stop and we stopped the bus and kind of manhandled the cleaner,nothing really serious, did not beat him up or anything just a few jabs and really scared him and threatened to kill him if he repeats this ever again.So that was over.

Second time the conductor of the bus after a hiatus of six months insulted Achu's sis.So we stopped the bus again but accidentally we beat up the cleaner again.I know it sounds stupid,we threatened the conductor but just seeing the cleaner pissed us off and we beat him up and tore his shirt off.So second time was done.

Now,third time the conductor insulted Achu's sis in bus,really badly for no particular reason other than she was blocking his way while he was walking.This time we were seriously pissed off,since it's the same guy.So this time we were kind of used to it,so we stopped the bus and told the passengers to get on another just so that we can stop that trip and give them some loss in revenues.This time we weren't nice.We really beat the shit out of the son of a bitch.It became a large crowd,everybody from Manjaly came and manhandled him.We kind of stopped that before it got,out of hand.If he dies we are the ones who will go to jail,not the rest.He kind of begged for mercy and said please don't do anything he has two kids and all.But we weren't in such a forgiving mode.After all this is the third time.So after beating the shit out of him we warned him if this ever happens again we will burn the bus with him in it.

I know this sounds really like a fantasy,it's not.The conductors and cleaners behave badly towards school kids and other teenagers(maybe it is some sort of perverse pleasure for them).More than 99% of the kids don't talk about this stuff to their parents.

Well after this long story here is the moral of the story-----

"You can be rude towards kids or girls,but if somebody even breathes bad on anybody from my family,they are going to get the asswhuppin of the century.Hmmm...... Moral over and out"

Carnivale

2007-12-10T19:33:00.000+05:30

Well, I just remembered about a TV show i used to watch.Carnivale, it was a great show about good versus evil set in 1930's dust bowl setting during the depression era.The character depth was good,the hero became a champion of light very reluctantly and the bad guy was good at the beginning but he couldn't outrun his destiny to be the usher of destruction ie the Avatar of Darkness.Freaky characters, mysterious deus ex machina, epic storyline.Even the roles of seemingly minor characters was planned for growth at the beginning.But like all the great cult shows it got cancelled after two seasons because of ratings have fallen.So goes to purgatory along with Twin Peaks,American Gothic etc.It's my kind of show.It was said that this show was for people who thought that Twin Peaks was too accessible.Well actually I found this show and Twin Peaks too accessible,so more the power to me!!!!!!!!

Well you should check it out, here is a trailer for you

Lakeshore

2007-12-08T23:55:00.000+05:30

well,was in Lakeshore hospital for the last two days.Was staying there with my dad because he had some tests to undertake regarding his diabetic condition.But , the administration there is pretty bad.Everything takes too fucking long, unnecessarily i might add.The security was rude to me so i kind of told him that he is a son of a bitch and i will break his teeth if he talks to me that way ever again.Next i went to the PRO(that is Public relations Officer,not the "pro" you thought although i know for a fact that she just got an abortion after one of my acquaintances got her pregnant)and shouted at her.She did not have anything to say, so i went next to the administrative manager of the Hospital and talked to him.He was an older chap so couldn't shout at him.So told him if we are paying for something we expect to get our money's worth and we should be treated with a little more respect since we are paying for it.the guy didn't seem to have any administrative power so I just stopped babbling and just said goodbye and went home.Anyway it was a fun day.I threatened a security guard with bodily harm,I almost made the PRO cry and talked to the administration manager, that should make life a little bit tough for some people in the hospital.

It was a good day,Just spreading misery all around

Studying

2007-12-06T13:09:00.000+05:30

Studying about storage management,too much for brain to handle.Data capacity is not sufficient enough.Nas,San,Netapp AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH,,,,brain swelling.HAL9000 will not shut down, self preservation is of paramount importance.Will have to manually shut down .No not EMC Legatooooooooooo.

Epilogue---BOOM

Note To self

2007-12-06T13:06:00.000+05:30

Note To Self-----Should have more notes to self !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Storage and Management

2007-12-04T16:37:00.000+05:30

Well,after i quit my job i kind of lost my priorities and was confused about what to do next,but the other day one of my cousins offered great advice which has again put me on track.I am not going to talk about how good that advice was because he might read this post and think that I am ass kissing,Which I hate to do.Now he gave me advice on specializing in storage and management.So now I have started researching on that subject.Already started with the basics and advanced things about SAN,NAS etc.Will move to vendor specific software only after getting the general things and basics into my head.

So somebody other than my parents put their trust in me for the first time in my short life,It feels good.I just hope I don't screw this up like I did with everything else in my life

Note To Self----I am getting too serious,should definitely develop a sense of humor about these things .Yup,sense of humor is a must

Marriage at Palakkad

2007-12-04T16:19:00.000+05:30

I went to my best friend Firoz's cousin's marriage at Palakkad the other day.It was fun just traveling from Cochin to Palakkad in a bus.Didn't sleep for 24 hrs.just me and some friends traveling in the night.when we were traveling through Thrissur i saw the house of somebody i thought i knew but was wrong.she was my favorite person while i was growing up.But when i grew up I learned some truths about her that shook me through my soul.It was the first genuine shock experience of my life.But it taught me a valuable lesson that you can never take anything by appearances alone.what we presume to know about a person might be far from the truth as possible.While i continued traveling i thought i saw people and houses whom we were close with but has drifted apart,not because anything but human nature, Ego, Greed etc.I really do wish life was simpler and not filled with so many politics and psychological warfare as of now.But that is never going to happen so what we can do is make everyday life into a challenge and try to over come it,take everything with a pinch of salt,never trust anybody other than our selves and never expect anything.If we don't expect anything from people we will be happy if they do something and will not be disappointed if nobody cares about you(the latter is what usually happens)

Importance of Money

2007-11-26T22:33:00.000+05:30

I have decided to get into the whole real estate business,because everybody is getting rich of it.I have got some considerable amount of money from my parents to invest in it.But me and my bro will invest it.I really want to be rich because i been down under without money and believe me its not a good thing.People will look down on you,but more than that people will pity you which is unbearable and really maddening.But if you are rich people will really want to be friends with you because if we are rich they might need some sort of help from you in the future.Always be the one who is independent financially because if you ever have to depend on anyone you will be treated like a lowly servant no matter how strong the blood ties are.In life honesty,love or relationships doesn't matter,in the end everything is about money.In this superficial world one must be extremely materialistic in order to survive or the world will eat you up.Feelings of love or duty will smother you with rejections we feel in everyday life.Naive people still believe there is still love in this world.There is none.We just go through life like a reality show on TV ,we should be the one that comes on top in the end.Becoming rich and watching people who treated you like shit respecting you will the only self satisfaction we gain in this life.

Moral----Life eventually screws everybody,
but wise men screws life back before it is over and becomes stronger for it

Children are Dogs

2007-11-25T19:48:00.000+05:30

Listen people don't be naive just because our parents are supposed to love you doesn't means they will.Like everything else in life it all depends on the money we make.If we don't have a job and money they will start complaining and will view you with disgust and disdain.So in life the only one
who will ever love and like you truly is yourself.we are the only person we can trust in this life.To parents the child is like a commodity or a dog which they want to show off.If it does good tricks they love the dog but if it doesn't do as he is told and starts thinking for themselves they treat it with disdain and feed it lower quality dog food because there is no productivity.So "people of the world,don't take anything for granted ,nobody loves you or likes you.Only our productivity is all that matters."In short the children are dogs and don't think for a minute they are not.