Managing Conflict

7 Tips to Resolve Workplace Conflict From Negotiation Expert Jeanette Nyden

Carol Bowser — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:02:41 +0000

Some times dealing with conflict is a negotation. Here are some tips that negotiation expert Jeanetter Nyden shared via her newsletter. I

Jeanette Nyden

thought “Wow! This can be easily transferable to folks dealing with workplace tension and conflict!” So here you are! If you would like more negotiation tips, visit Jeanette’s web site www.jnyden.com. She also has a book coming out Negotiation Rules! A Practical Approach to Big Deal Negotiations.

Best Practice #1 Get past needing to compete

Competition, while a part of the negotiation process, can destroy long-term relationships, which in turn can destroy your bottom line. Therefore, you must be able to balance competition against the desire to foster long term relationships.

Best Practice #2 Get down to the real issue

Separate the real issue the driving force of the negotiation�from the all the less important issues that take up time. People lose valuable time and money chasing after non-mission-critical issues.

Best Practice #3 Know and use your leverage

Business people must know and use their leverage. Leverage is your ability to get a deal on your terms. If you want a deal on your terms, you must know and appropriately use your leverage.

Best Practice #4 Don’t assume that people will act in rational ways

You cannot use rational arguments with people who have an emotional charge. It just doesn�t work. Address the emotional argument. If it is not your strength, then find someone for whom it is.

Best Practice #5 Things are not black and white.

Americans in particular like to talk in terms of the bottom line, bullet points and principles. The reality of the situation is that what you are negotiating is not likely a black and white issue. There will be nuances and shades of gray.�
Best Practice #6 Don’t let bad things linger

This piece of advice got the most laughs as they all remembered times when matters got really ugly. Matters just get worse the longer they linger. They don’t go away.
Best Practice #7 Let bygones be bygones.

People make mistakes. People also do really stupid things, like denying responsibility for their obvious mistakes. For the good of business, it is wise to let bygones be bygones.

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Blog Talk Radio Program -Managing Conflict in the Workplace

Carol Bowser — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 22:11:33 +0000

Join me on June 3 at 3 pm Pacific time for Blog Talk Radio Live Call in Program Managing Conflict in the Workplace. We will talk about:

Early recognition of tension, conflict, and potential violence in the workplace and the impact of gender on workplace conflict and resolution. Cool stuff that you really need to know.

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Poking the Hornets Nest- How Motorola Let Emotions Get in the Way

Carol Bowser — Wed, 20 May 2009 17:41:41 +0000

“Sometimes emotions get in the way of judgment.” So says Richard Robbins, an Atlanta based employment law attorney. Robbins comments were based on the Wrongful Termination lawsuit that former Motorola CFO has brought.

Here is the short version. Motorola CFO made remarks during a Board meeting intending to rally the Board to action. It worked, but the Hornets went after him instead. The very next day, he was fired. He now is suing. So whose emotions got in the way of judgment? My educated guess is everyone’s over a long period of time.

For more of the details check out this article on Corporate Counsel Center . Frankly, I find it somewhat refreshing that SOMEONE has acknoweldged that emotions can impact decisions and that a breakdown of a working relationship can and DOES lead to bad stuff happening—even in the C Suite.

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Is conflict contageous? Managing working environments in a down economy.

Carol Bowser — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:02:31 +0000

Yes, conflict is contagious! Suprised? I will bet not. Emotion is contageous. As contageous as a yawn or the Swine Flu.

You can’t be responsible for someone else’s happiness or anger. You can only be responsible for yourself BUT you can take a tempurature of the emotional environment of your workplace.

Are people laughing? Are people talking about each other or to each other? Is there something in place to help people handle stress?

Here is my advice.

Ask yourself these questions:

How am I doing with this work environment–really?

What is really freaking me out?

What am I disappointed with?

Would my co-workers or boss agree with me or would they describe me differently?

What one thing can I do to help me make it to lunch? To the end of the day? To the end of the week?

Then- seek out others just to say hello and how is it going. If you are concerned, share your concern then share what you are doing to make it through the day.

Why? Because unless the GIANT Pink Elephant in the room is addressed it will grow and suck the life force out of everyone. The result is that the conflict s.unless identified and addressed the emotional climate will worsen.

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The Collaborative Leader – What are the Keys to the Castle?

Carol Bowser — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 10:00:33 +0000

I am a geek for reading articles about leadership. Why? Because I hear over and over and over again from folks that they are desparate for their leaders to control, moderate, address bad stuff at work. So when I found this article from HR Executive online I stood up and cheered.

According to the authors (didn’t save that part of the article) six attributes that distinguish successful collaborative leaders:- Here is their list and my (sometimes snarky) comments.

Patience

Amen to that! But Patience for what??? Dealing with people most likely. Yet, how many executives actually, exhibit this so that the people feel it? Most people want others to be patient with them, but patient doesn’t mean sacrificing business objectives so that people have unlimited time “to figure it out”. Patience generally comes from the leader knowing what the answer is and giving the other person room to figure it out.

Collective decision-making

Yeah, just wish that there was more definition of what that was or that people had a shared definition of it or what it looks like in practice. Collective decision-making could be taking information from multiple sources or it could be negotiating a solution.
Quick thinking

One would hope so. My impression is that the “quick thinking” attribute relates to problem solving and not delaying making difficult-and perhaps unpopular decisions. Leaders know that “things will resolve themselves”.
Tenacity

A big Double AMEN!!! According to our friends at Websters’ on line, tenacity is a persistence in maintaining or seeking something desired or valued. I love that. I love that so much that you can hear me telling colleagues and clients that “you must be tenacious and deliberate in applying conflict resolution skills!”
Relationship building

YEP–becuase it is really hard to be collaborative with strangers becuase you don’t know what their interests are, if they are as smart as you think you are, or if they are telling you the REAL STORY- not just a PR spin.
and DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!!

CONFLICT HANDLING!

Leaders lead by example. You may be the best business person ever, but if you can’t set the tone at the highest levels for how differing opinions and poor behavior is addressed, no one will follow you through a buffet line let alone a risky venture or a new initiative.

So … how do you stack up, as a leader? As an informal leader? Is there more to add to the discussion? Eagerly awaiting your comments…..

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Silos in the Workplace (not the pretty kind)

Carol Bowser — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:36:21 +0000

Look at those pretty silos. Unfortunately, silos at work are not so pretty. Business consultants/ and HR geeks like me, referr to deliberate lack of communciation and hard boundaries between divisions or departments as “silos”.

Did you know that “silo-ing” can also take place in small and very small employers or work groups. Symptoms of siloing are lack or communication, miscommunication, or obfuscation. It can also come informs of emotional shut down at work, not talking, not even looking at each other.

What is scary about silos is this….most people don’t recognize that they contribute to the siloing. Consider this…

When is the last time that you made eye contact with a co-worker? The last time you spoke to someone–maybe even the person with the desk next to you– just to acknowledge their existence, not to make a request for information.

Here is my challenge to you….just observe yourself. Are you creating a mini silo farm? Do you see it going on around you? If so, break the silo effect. Just say “hi”.

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The Flip Side of Same Coin: Employee Conflict – Employee Recognition.

Carol Bowser — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 00:19:15 +0000

Conflict, conflict, conflict. I love conflict. It is amazing what lengths managers and companies go to to avoid addressing conflict. I regularly attend a local Recognition Roundtable sponsored by Recognition Works. Simply, it is an informal gathering of employees who are trying to create or sustain recognition programs. Why do I go? Because sometimes -well … often – employees and managers mistakenly try to use a recognition program to address a workplace conflict issue.

Workplace conflict and tension cannot be resolved by implementing an employee recognition program – unless the cause of the problem is lack of recognition and appreciation. Otherwise, time, effort and $$$ are wasted on the wrong solution.

So what do conflict and recognition have in common? When done well, there is an increased sense of well being and engagement in the workforce. WHY? Because recognition involves acknowledging the needs and values of the employees and managers. SO DOES RESOLVING WORKPLACE CONFLICT.

Here are some statistics that show the importance of recognition. When I see these stats, I think how easy it is to improve the workplace and how easy it is to spoil the workplace.

1. 91% of employees ranked "recognition for a job well done" as important for motivation. Recognition Professionals International (RPI)

2. 79% of employees who quit their jobs cite "lack of appreciation" as the #1 reason for leaving. Jackson Organization

3. Managers are the single largest influence on employee retention and productivity. Gallup Organization

4. 65% disagreed with the following statement: "My supervisor does a good job recognizing my accomplishments." RPI

5. Training managers on the right way to deliver recognition increases recognition usage by more than 30 percent – which has a direct impact on employee retention and engagement. Dose of Recognition Newsletter, Gostick & Elton

6. 30% of employees improve performance after being criticized. 90% improve performance after being praised. J. Pfeffer, Stanford School of Business

7. As the economy improves, 83% of employees indicate they plan to look for a new job; 34% of those are your top performers. SHRM

8. It takes an average of 2.5 times a person’s salary to find a replacement. Sharon Jordan Evans, Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em

9. Companies that have a thriving employee recognition strategy are more profitable – outperforming S&P 500 companies by 30-40%. Contented Cows Give Better Milk

10. Companies that have an employee recognition strategy have 50% less turnover than companies that don’t recognize their employees. Contented Cows Give Better Milk

11. In 2006, "recognition & trust" were identified as key factors in creating and sustaining a positive work culture in the 100 Best Companies to Work For. Fortune Magazine

Compiled by Recognition Works

www.recognitionworks.net

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Why conflict at work escalates

Carol Bowser — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:45:53 +0000

I am always amazed of people’s need to be “Right” and how the need to be “Right” impedes the process of problem solving. So why is it that we want to resolve conflict but hold on so tightly to being “Right” and explaining the “Rightness” of our position with so much righteousness that we escalate the argument?

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New ADA Amendments will cause increase of discrimination filings

Carol Bowser — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:10:53 +0000

Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Some of you may know that there are a ton of new federal laws going into effect. Americans with Disabilities Act has been amended. COBRA -the law impacting insurance coverage once someone leaves a job- has new provisions.

I spent the better part of the last two weeks attending seminars to get up to date-me and a whole bunch of Human Resource folks. We were the lucky ones. I have heard through the grapevine that employers are no long paying for HR to attend these seminars in an effort to manage costs. The consequence is that the key people within the organization don’t know what is going on or the best practices to implement the changes.

Here is the really scary part…

Employees rely on other employees or a trusted adviser such as a parent, spouse or union shop steward to learn about “the way things work.” unfortunately, the advise they get is often outright wrong or misapplied.

The reality is that employees-at all levels-get a little bit of information then “fill in the gaps” with a “common sense approach.” This spells danger for both the employer and the employee. First, the law does not care about common sense. The law cares about how a particular provision can be universally applied. Thus, the laws are written to apply to large corporations as well as smaller organizations. So one employee’s definition of “the common sense thing to do” is rarely what the law requires.

The scarier reality is that most employment discrimination claims- in my experience- arise from mid-level managers not knowing or understanding the intersection of the law and company policy. Most employees will not go to Human Resources with questions about ADA or FMLA leave. They will go to their lead or direct supervisor. If the employee misinterprets or the the lead/supervisor misinforms, what the respective obligations are under the law-there will be trouble.

Trouble = more filings with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or State Human Rights Agencies.

So what to do? Have a campaign to make everyone smart on the rights and responsibilities of both sides of the employment relationship. If your are an employee-you should know what you are entitled to AND where that entitlement stops.

If you are an Employer-Tell the employees what you expect of them and what you will and will not do.

Here is a link to a Seattle Law Firm that talks generally about the New ADA.

http://www.schwabe.com/showarticle.aspx?Show=11444

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Impact of the Recession on Employee Morale

Carol Bowser — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:58:12 +0000

No surprise. News of recession will have a negative impact on employee morale. Disheartened employees mean disengaged employees. In the current economic climate if a business is to survive, the work force must be fully engaged-emotionally, physically, even spiritually.

The unfortunate reality is that many companies will go under because of failure to motivate, empower, and acknowledge their employees.

Instead of deliberately and consistently communicating with employees, employers will go into “shut down” mode. The result will be increased fear among employees and mistrust of management.

According to the Respectful Workplace Blog:

“Communicate constantly to minimize uncertainty. Uncertainty arouses the fear circuits in the brain and is an absolute killer to employee productivity. When people are unsure about the stability of their organization, their standing with their boss or supervisor, or a clear understanding of what’s expected of them, most assume the worst. The ensuing stress decreases the amount of a chemical called dopamine in the brain, a chemical that is critical for clear thinking and reasoning by the prefrontal cortex. Continuous uncertainty can also increase the levels of cortisol in the body, too much of which can permanently damage both the brain and the circulatory system.”

The morale to this story is that survival in the current economy will depend on EVERYONE in the organization bringing their best selves to work.

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