Manic Mother

Not to alarm anyone….

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 07:54:00 PST

But Rowan is pregnant. He is expecting twins.

His babies like soda, milk, juice, and circle and triangle crackers. His babies have gotten a little demanding as of lately, his babies also love to play Mario Kart, and Farmville.

I think its really cute that Rowan thinks he has babies in his belly too, we have tried telling him boys can’t have babies but I digress…

His excitement over the baby has been my favorite part of the pregnancy so far. He talks about it almost daily. He tells the baby he loves it, and kisses and pats my belly.

He has suggested the names Sally, and Twelve.

He is a tad confused as to how the baby gets here though:

Ro: “Maybe we can take a knife and rip your butt and get the baby out.”

Me: “Well…….your kinda right Ro.”

And I left it at that…….

Oh and this guy…?

He could care less…..he’s 2.

Bloggography Challenge, Exposure Triangle

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:11:00 PST

Each week, Lolli and I pick out our favorite entry into the previous challenge, go check out Lolli’s blog to see who she chose. This week I chose Ellemes entry from 365 0f 30. Not only was it a great example of a large aperture, but it also made me laugh!

Now on to the assignment! This week we asked you to review what you had already learned and try to pull it all together, in relation to the exposure triangle. You were free to take a picture however you pleased! Here is my shot:

This is my straight out of the camera shot. About my shot: f/2.8, ISO 160, 1/640

We'll be posting some of our favorite shots from this week's challenge in two weeks. Will we pick yours?

Don’t forget to grab a button or link back to Lolli and I on your post . And make sure you add your picture to the Flickr group as well. You don’t even need a blog to participate, you can just leave the link to your picture in the Flickr group.

The MckLinky will be up for one week, so you have plenty of time to take a picture still!

Don’t forget to go check out my co-hosts picture!

And now for the sharing of photos!

Baby Scare

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:05:00 PST

If you follow me on Twitter you may have read this weekend that I had some bleeding on Saturday. I can honestly tell you I have never been so freaked out, I never bled with either of the boys. It was bright red blood, and more than a few drops. The on call OB said that if the bleeding stops I should be ok, and it did. So I anxiously waited until today where I got to have an ultrasound and exam. The little jellybean was moving all around and the heartbeat was great! Look at the little hand in the picture, isn’t that the cutest little hand you have ever seen?

I asked the tech if she would peek between the legs for me, and she did. She took a guess as to what she thought it was but said they really can’t say for certain what sex the baby is at this point. So I have another ultrasound in a couple of weeks and I will let you all know for certain then. Suspense is a good thing!

They really don’t know what caused me to bleed, my placenta looks great, and so did my cervix. I am just chalking it up to one of those things that can happen, and may happen again.

I am just so relieved everything is ok, being pregnant can be so scary at times!

picture potpourri

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:35:00 PST

I swear I will never finish tackling the job of cleaning up all of my pictures from my hard drive. Anyway, I am still finding some great pictures I had forgotten all about.

So here are some random pictures for you to enjoy this Thursday!

Don’t you wish these critters were swimming in your local lakes?? This was not taken at the zoo!

St. Patrick’s Day Magic Treasure Box Craft

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:34:00 PST

(I am pulling this one from the archives, enjoy)

I have never really celebrated St. Patrick’s Day (well, besides the green beer guzzling , and the whiskey shots), I figured I would celebrate it this year with the boys. I got this idea from Family Fun. Here is the story that goes with the boxes :

LEGEND OF THE LEPRECHAUNS
”Full of magic and trickery, the leprechauns remain in their hidden world until the night before St. Patrick's Day. On that one night of the year they appear throughout the world to dance and sing and frolic.
Disguising themselves as leaves and grass, and sounding like the wind and the crickets, they come and go unnoticed.
However, it is said that if a decorated treasure box is left empty under the moon, the leprechauns must fill the box with gold or jewels or gifts. But then they will hide the filled box in the most unlikely of places.
If the box is found on St. Patrick's Day, the treasure remains in our world. If not, the leprechauns may retrieve what is rightfully theirs. And though the leprechauns are very clever, it is not impossible to find the treasure because, unknowingly, leprechauns often leave a trail of greenery behind them. “

How to:

I bought this box at Micheal’s for 2.99 (you can use any box). I used some green wood paint, stickers, glitter, and sequins. My oldest son and I painted it green. I then diluted some regular school glue with water and painted it on and we sprinkled the glitter on. I also used craft glue to adhere the sequins.

I plan to leave a trail of actual clovers for the boys, since they are invading my flower bed anyway, for those of you in colder climates you can cut some out of paper. I also found these little Leprechaun hats at Micheal’s, I thought it would be cute to tell the boys the Leprechaun forgot his hat.

My son really enjoyed making this, I think they would be a great idea for a Pirate themed party as well.

Exposure Triangle, Bloggography Tutorial

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:52:00 PST

Written by my co-host Lolli

We have spent the last month discussing and experimenting with ISO, Aperture, and Shutter Speed, the three elements often referred to as the three points of the Exposure Triangle.

It is at the intersection of these three elements that a picture’s exposure is decided.

Most importantly (and the most important thing to take away from today’s tutorial) is that adjusting one of these elements will impact each of the others. This means that you can never really isolate just one of the elements alone but always need to have the others in the back of your mind.

What is Exposure?

Exposure refers to how bright or dark your photo is. This is effected by the amount of light that is recorded by your camera’s sensor. A properly exposed photo should typically resemble the brightness of the original scene. A poorly exposed photo will either be too dark (under exposed) or too bright (over exposed), and may contain areas that are so dark or so bright that they contain no detail (know as being blown out).

An Analogy

Photo by Jooliree on Flickr

I have heard this photo analogy in a few different settings. Let’s see if I can do it justice. Imagine your camera is like a window with shutters that open and close.

The size of the window represents the aperture. If the window is larger, more light gets through and the room is brighter.

The amount of time that the shutters of the window are open represents the shutter speed. The longer you leave the shutters open, the more light that comes in.

This might be a little bit of a stretch, but imagine that you are wearing your sunglasses inside the room. These sunglasses (and how dark they happen to be) represent the ISO. Your eyes become desensitized to the light that comes in.

There are several ways to increase the amount of light in the room…or at least how much light there appears to be. You could increase the time that the shutters are open (decrease shutter speed), you could increase the size of the window (increase aperture) or you could take off your sunglasses (make the ISO larger). If you wanted to room to be darker, you could close the shutters a little (increase the shutter speed), decrease the window size (decrease aperture), or put on some heavier sunglasses.

How To Adjust Exposure

Since we’ve talked about each of the elements of the exposure triangle individually, I thought I’d bring everything together in a little Exposure Cheat Sheet (or two). These are saved as jpegs, and for this tutorial, I give full permission for individuals to print them out to carry with you. The first chart is a review of what each exposure element’s function is, and what happens when you adjust it on your camera.

This second chart is a more visual reminder (with numbers!) of how the exposure will be effected by adjusting your ISO, Aperture, and Shutter Speed. (DOF stands for depth of field)

Since this is a “bring it all together” week and somewhat of a review of the last 3 tutorials, we wanted to make this week’s challenge a review as well. This week, take your camera out and practice with ISO, Shutter Speed, and Aperture again. Was one of the 3 elements of the exposure triangle your favorite to work with….or is there an element that you still need some practice with? We’ll leave this one up to you! Next week, come back and share your results. And let us all know how you adjusted your picture to get your desired results so we can all continue to learn!

Have you joined the Bloggography Flickr group yet? If not, go see what other members have added this week! And feel free to add your pictures to the group pool.

Candle In The Wind

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:32:00 PST

Driving in my minivan stock filled with groceries the other day, Elton John’s Candle In The Wind came on the radio. As I drove home, I digested the lyrics. It wasn’t long before I had tears welling in my eyes.

Now, I have heard this song many a time before, and yes I am hormonal and un-medicated. And yes, Marilyn’s story is tragic and harrowing. But it was more than that.

These lyrics struck a chord with me:

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind

Because in that moment, I realized that over the last eight months I had unbeknownst to myself accepted a grain of truth.

My grain of truth? I am strong.

Strong willed, strong hearted, strong minded, strong.

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More of my life has been lived as a candle in the wind, than not.

In my teen years I dealt with suicide attempts, debilitating depression, a near fatal car crash, drug addiction and overdoses, dropping out of school, and struggling to find my fit.

As a young adult I moved myself over 1,500 miles from the only home I ever knew. I moved by myself, not knowing a soul in the town I moved to.

I got married, carried and birthed two sons, and accepted my sons leukemia. All the while dancing with my beasty friend bipolar disorder.

I have always been a self doubter. A person that feared success and failure. I doubted my capabilities as a person, a wife, a mother. I viewed my mental illness as a weakness, not a badge of strength.

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But something shifted in these last eight months. I am persevering through something I never in a lifetime thought I could handle, my sick son.

My old way of thinking is gone, I no longer think: I couldn’t handle that, if that happened to me. Instead I think: If that happens to me, I will handle it.

I no longer fill my thoughts with anxious self doubting notions. There is no longer a negative Nancy in the back of my head, holding me back from personal success.

I don’t doubt who I am anymore. I don’t doubt my morals, and my beliefs. I don’t doubt what I am capable of doing and being. I am no longer hiding in a cloud of self doubt.

Because it seems to me, I have lived too many years of my life guessing, faltering, grasping, and doubting. And it seems to me, it is high time I acknowledge the inner strength and fortitude I have, and have always had.

While I hate Ezra’s cancer for many reasons, I will forever be grateful for this gem of truth it helped me to reveal.

So today only, I thank you cancer……

Because I have nothing else to blog about….

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 04:51:00 PST

I am subjecting you to cute pictures of my boys….

The weather was amazing yesterday, so we headed out for some fun and bubbles. Yes, Ezra is still in a pajama top…he’s half dressed, that counts for something! We did not put the boys in this chair, my husband and I turned the corner to find them sitting like this. Of course, I had to run and grab my camera!

They really are best friends. See..? Aren’t they sweet?

This next picture is just really neat, we had the bubble blower on, and I love the bubble bokeh in this picture.

Happy Wednesday!

Bloggography Challenge, Aperture

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:09:00 PST

Each week, Lolli and I pick out our favorite entry into the previous challenge, go check out Lolli’s blog to see who she chose. I chose Joanne’s entry from Thru My Eyes. This is a fantastic action shot! Great job!

Now on to the assignment! This week we asked you to take a picture using your cameras aperture priority mode. I added the extra challenge of taking a picture of something pink or red for February. Here is my shot. Pink and brown Cons, yes I have a Converse obsession.

And since I can’t leave a picture alone, that is the edited version. I added some color layers and texture.

Here is the shot before I edited it.

About the shot: f/4.5, ISO 200, 1/100

Here is the same shot taken with a larger aperture.

About this shot: f/2, ISO 200, 1/500

I prefer the first shot because more of the shoes are in focus.

We'll be posting some of our favorite shots from this week's challenge in two weeks. Will we pick yours?

The MckLinky will be up for one week, so you have plenty of time to take a picture still!

Don’t forget to go check out my co-hosts picture!

And now for the sharing of photos!

i heart faces- hands

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 07:04:00 PST

Ezra’s chubby little hand on my leg……

3 Months….

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 05:48:00 PST

Look! I can still see my feet! I am not much bigger than last month so I thought I would try a different perspective. Although taking a picture of your pregnant belly with a wide angle lens will make objects (like PG bellies) appear larger than they seem!

Only a little more than a week left until I am through the first trimester, if only the other 2 trimesters went by as fast as the first… I can very slowly feel my energy increasing. I pee 40+ times a day, waking at least 4 times a night. I think I have been feeling little flutters here and there, but that could be side effects from my cravings. I crave things that cause heartburn like salami, hot banana peppers, tomatoes, lemonade, and Tabasco. What can I say? I am a glutton for punishment.

Much to my surprise I got to see the baby yesterday!

I got to see it moving it’s little hands around, and it’s heart beating strong. I was speechless, my eyes filled with tears. I was just expecting to get to hear a heartbeat, but they said it can be hard to hear the heartbeat yet, so they just do a quick ultrasound to put mom at ease. So I wasn’t prepared to get to see the little jellybean in motion.

Seeing our baby stole my breath. It was nothing short of amazing…..

In 8 more weeks I get to have another ultrasound, where they should be able to tell us the sex of the baby. I asked the tech today if she saw a penis…she just laughed at me.

I am so excited!

Your Pictures

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 04:49:00 PST

I asked and you listened, you all sent me some great pictures! Some of them were a lot more work than the others, but I accepted the challenge. I didn’t get to all of them that were sent to me, but most of them. Some of them turned out better than others, but most of that had to do with the quality of the image to begin with.

All pictures were edited using Photoshop CS3, and I am now offering this as a service, incase there are any of you out there that want some pictures edited. Details can be found here.

Connie from The Young and Relentless.

Before After

Lisa’s pic from Let’s Talk Babies.

Before After

Jenna’s pic from Newlyweds.

Before

After

Anna’s pic from The Hat Junkie

Before

After

Jen’s pic from The Enstad Family:

Before After

Nicole’s pic

Before After

Mandee’s pic from Raising My Four Sons.

Before After

Nalene’s pic

Before

After

Kim’s pic from Diaries of a Coach’s Wife.

Before After

Emily’s pic from I don’t shine, if you don’t shine.

Before

After

If I edited your picture and you would like me to email you a copy, let me know.

Thanks for all the pictures!

Home Sweet Home

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 17:22:00 PST

Ezra was finally released from the hospital today. He really does so much better at home, but I have to think any child would. He was busy playing, smiling, running, and being ~~very~~ somewhat difficult.

He looks a little paler than usual, which is hard to believe, I know. He will be treated another ten days on antibiotics for the ear infection. They have also changed his oral chemo dosing. He was on 100% chemo dosing, but they lowered it to 50%, they don’t want his counts to bottom out again, they will check his counts soon and hopefully slowly increase the chemo back up to 100%. His oncology team said it is typical for kids to bottom out in maintenance when he did. His ear infection didn’t help his counts either.

It all still seems a little surreal at times, like when I read back what I just wrote and words pop out at me like oncology team, counts, and chemo. It all became a part of our reality so quickly. I am not going to lie, our lives had started to seem some what normal lately. This last hospital visit very rudely reminded me how far from normal our lives truly are. I don’t know that our lives will ever really be normal again. And you know what? I am ok with that, if you know me at all, I am not very good at normal….

We are so glad to be back home! Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers.

Aperture, a Bloggography Tutorial

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:08:00 PST

What is aperture?

Aperture is the hole inside of your lens that lets light in. Different lenses have different apertures. A lens of f/1.4 will have a large hole where as a lens of f/4.5 will have a smaller hole.

Aperture is measured in f stops. Lets say you have a lens that has a maximum aperture of f/1.8, when you set the aperture to f/1.8 the hole in your lens will be at its largest, and will allow the most light in ( this is called “shooting wide open”). Now lets say you switch the aperture to f/22 that same hole will become much smaller and allow in less light.

So the smaller the f stop number, the larger the hole in your lens becomes, and vice versa.

Which aperture to use?

There are a few things to consider when choosing an aperture. First off you want to look at the lighting you have available, if you are shooting pictures indoors where lighting is limited (and you aren’t using a flash) you will want to choose a large aperture (small number). I often shoot at f/1.8 when inside, or the largest aperture my lens has. Remember the larger the aperture the more light you are letting in.

If you are outdoors or in a well lit area, you can vary your aperture for different effects. When you make adjustments to your aperture you are also going to effecting the depth of field in your picture. The best way to illustrate this is with examples.

A large aperture will give your picture a shallow depth of field. Meaning that only what you focused your lens on will be in focus and the area around it will be blurry. Like this:

Shot at f/1.8

The smaller you make your aperture the more of your picture comes into focus. Like this:

Shot at f/5.6

Even smaller, and even more becomes in focus. Like this:

Shot at f/11

Can you see in the first picture, that the whole branch isn’t even all in focus? Notice also, how the branch in the background becomes more in focus as I use a smaller aperture.

Where is my aperture?

If you don’t have a DSLR, look for a lady’s head symbol on your point and shoot.

Things to remember/know about aperture:

- the smaller the f stop number the larger your aperture is

- when shooting in low light choose the largest aperture available

- shooting with a large aperture may only put part of what you are trying to focus on, in focus. Like a nose will be in focus, but the eyes won’t. Check your shots, and adjust your aperture accordingly.

- AP (aperture priority) mode is a great mode to shoot pictures of children in, I almost always take pictures of kids in this mode. It is easy to switch apertures quickly, versus manually adjusting everything in manual mode.

The Challenge:

Use your camera’s aperture priority mode to experiment with different apertures. Take a picture with a large aperture, and try taking the same picture with a small aperture.

Need inspiration? Since February is the month of love, try finding something pink or red to take a picture of.

Come back next Tuesday to link up and share your example of aperture.

If you have more questions about aperture, or even your camera, please feel free to ask any questions in the comments. They will all be answered!

Save me from boredom, send me your pics!

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 13:28:00 PST

(google images)

It looks like Ezra will be in the hospital a few more days, he is still running a fever and has little ANC. So I will be up there the majority of the day tomorrow, I get really bored sitting there. There is only so much Farmville a day I can play.

You all know how much I love to play in Photoshop, so in efforts to stave off my boredom send me one of your favorite pictures, and I will edit it for you! Now, I am not a miracle worker the picture does need to be in focus, and not completely blown out or under exposed.

So if you have a picture you would love to see edited by me, please send it to my email at manicmotherme@gmail.com, with the title “picture”. Don’t send me a picture unless you are comfortable with me posting it on my blog and linking to you.

I am also going to start offering this as a service soon, for a small fee, more on that to come!

Not So Happy Valentine’s Day….

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 15:11:00 PST

I am up with Ezra at the hospital now, he is glad to see his Mama, and thankful for his teddy bear. Teddy has magical healing powers.

Ezra was running a low grade fever on Thursday, and it continued on until Friday. We weren’t too concerned as the same thing happened last time he went off his steroids. On Friday the fever finally peaked to the point of concern (100.4 in the case of leukemia patients.) So I brought him into clinic, where they determined he has an ear infection. Which would have been treatable at home if his ANC (immunity) wasn’t so low. On Friday it was 256. Anytime a child with leukemia has a fever and an ANC below 500 they are admitted. So he has been receiving some super duper antibiotics to help kick the infection.

Today Ezra’s ANC was 56, that is the lowest it has ever been, he basically has no infection fighting cells at all right now. So we are stuck in the room. We were told there is a chance the infection could develop into a bacterial infection since he has no immunity. So we wait for his blood to cook in the lab, and as long as nothing shows up we should be going home in a few days.

So we will do what we do best, persevere. And in the meantime I am here holding sweet boy’s hand.

Heartbreaker

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 09:24:00 PST

I have been trying to go through the 1,000’s of pictures on my computer and get rid of a bunch of them, I stumbled upon this picture of Ro that was taken late this last summer.

I think I am going to be in trouble some day….what do you think?

In other news, if you follow me on FB or Twitter, you likely already know this, but Ezra is back in the hospital. He should be just fine, but we are looking at a few days in the hospital. I am going up there later today, and will work on getting a blog post up for all of you asap.

Holy Grail of Macaroni and Cheese

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 04:15:00 PST

I have been on the quest for the perfect macaroni and cheese recipe for quite some time. Macaroni and cheese is one of my favorite foods, it has been ever since I was a little girl. This was probably my 5th attempt at making homemade mac and cheese. Every recipe I have tried before just isn’t right, its too dry, it separates, its too bland.

I have should have known to start with the domestic goddess’s recipe right from the start. This is Martha’s recipe for mac and cheese, I just changed a couple of things.

Drool…..

Ingredients:

5 tablespoons butter
3 slices white bread, crusts removed, torn into 1/4- to 1/2-inch pieces
2 3/4 cups milk
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste
2 1/4 cups grated sharp white cheddar cheese (about 9 ounces)
1 cup grated smoked Gruyere cheese (about 4 ounces) I used smoked because it was all the deli had, and I think it made it even tastier.
1/2 pound elbow macaroni

Double this recipe for a 9x13 pan

- Heat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 1 1/2 quart casserole dish. Place bread in a medium bowl. Melt 2 tablespoons butter. Pour butter into bowl with bread, and toss. Set breadcrumbs aside.

- In a medium saucepan set over medium heat, heat milk. Melt remaining 3 tablespoons butter in a high-sided skillet over medium heat. When butter bubbles, add flour. Whisking for one minute.

- While whisking, slowly pour in hot milk. Continue cooking, whisking constantly, until the mixture bubbles and becomes thick (about 5-7 minutes) It will look like this:

- Remove pan from heat. Stir in salt, nutmeg, black pepper, cayenne pepper, 1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese, and 3/4 cup smoke Gruyere, set aside.

- Fill a large saucepan with water; bring to a boil. Cook until almost done 6-7 minutes. Stir macaroni into the cheese sauce.

- Pour mixture into prepared dish. Sprinkle remaining cheddar cheese and Gruyere and breadcrumbs over top. It will look like this: (yes I have a purple Pyrex, I heart purple)

Bake until browned on top, about 30 minutes. And cool for 5 minutes before serving. It will look like this:

Drool……

This really is the best mac and cheese I have ever had. Try it, you’ll love it too! (not responsible for calories consumed while eating this dish)

Bloggography Challenge, Shutter Speed

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 04:18:00 PST

Each week, Lolli and I pick out our favorite entry into the previous challenge. There were so many great pictures, it was really hard to choose this week! I chose Jenny’s of Our Nifty Notebook. It is a great picture of a much loved kitty!

Now on to the assignment! This week we asked you to take a picture of something in action, using shutter priority mode. Here is my picture:

About my shot: Shot in (S) Shutter Priority Mode, shutter speed 1/125 sec (I should have upped it a little more so his feet weren’t blurry), ISO 500, Aperture f/8.

**In the spirit of sharing photography, Lolli is hosting a fantastic giveaway to add to today's challenge. A local DC-area photographer, Steven L Miller, has offered one of her readers an 8x10 matted photo from his website, slmphoto.com. Please click on the Print Giveaway Post to enter!

We'll be posting some of our favorite shots from this week's challenge in two weeks. Will we pick yours?

The MckLinky will be up for one week, so you have plenty of time to take a picture still!

Don’t forget to go check out my co-hosts picture!

And now for the sharing of photos:

XX or XY?

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 08:38:00 PST

(image from Google images)

Many months ago, when my husband and I decided we wanted to try for another baby I was convinced the only way I wanted another child was if it was a baby girl *gasp*, its true. I researched having my husbands sperm spun, and other ways to conceive an XX.

Then Ezra got sick, it put our baby making plans on hold. I had six more months to think about another baby. In that time, I concluded that ultimately I just wanted another warm squishy little baby. Boy or girl it didn’t matter. Don’t get me wrong, I still practiced the Shettles sex selection method to try to tip the scales in favor of a girl.

Which brings me to the other night, my husband and I were discussing a dream I had where the ultra sound tech told me it was another boy. He asked me what I would do if it was another boy? He seems to think it will upset me.

Queue tears. As my eyes welled up (which they easily do right now) I told him I wouldn’t be upset, but that I would always feel a part of my life was missing. I can say with almost 100% certainty that this will be our last child, boy or girl. Were done.

Growing up when I pictured myself as a mother I always saw myself having a little girl. I saw pigtails, My Little Ponies, sundresses, baking cookies, painting toenails, and all that comes with having a little girl. I saw myself having a little boy too, but I wanted both. I still do.

I want to have a daughter look up to me, like I see my boys do their dad.

I want that sense of nostalgia as I relive what it was like to be a little girl through my daughter’s eyes.

I want to be there when she gives birth someday, and doesn’t want anyone there to help her, but her mom.

I want to buy sundresses, prom dresses, wedding dresses.

I want to see my husband tightly wound around a little girl’s finger.

But as I profoundly learned last year, life isn’t about what we want. Its about what life gives us. And so, even though I may feel a part of my life is missing, if it is in fact another boy, I will know it was what life had planned for us. And I will love that baby whole heartedly.

I may not get my baby girl with this pregnancy, I have accepted that. But I will have three children, surely one of them will go on to have a daughter. A granddaughter…..

Facebook Observations

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:48:00 PST

I will admit, I ~~waste~~ spend entirely too much time on Facebook. Mostly because it never fails to be a source of entertainment for me. Here are some of my favorite Facebook observations.

Farmville is crack. It takes wasting your time on Facebook to a whole new level.

I may not have spoken with a certain person since high school, and I may still have yet to speak with you. But, that does not stop me from scaring away foxes from your farm, raking your leaves, and chasing your gophers. Things I would surely do for (IRL) in real life friends…..

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Its always amusing to see who clearly has had some work done since you have seen them last. Funny, I don’t remember her boobs resting on her chin ten years ago…..

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I find it reassuring to know that my gaydar was not so far off. The boys you just knew had to be gay in high school, sure enough are. Facebook has restored faith in my gaydar. Thank you Facebook.

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Speaking of high school, I love reading the updates of those that clearly still think it is high school. You know the type, they are still single and ~~kid~~ carefree. Their updates usually go something like this, Friday night: Woooo happy hour and then clubbing! Followed by Saturday: Dude, I am sooo hung over, and my head feels like its going to explode. Has anyone seen my pants? I think I secretly long to have one weekend where my FB updates can match theirs….

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Don’t even get me started on all the “groups” people join. My dear blogging friend Sara did a great post on the idiocy of one said group. Here are some more examples:

- “I don’t care how comfortable Crocs are, you look like a dumbass”

- “I hate pretending I like a present when I actually hate it”

- “ I used to make “potions” out of shampoo as a kids”

- “ I was forced to learn the recorder as a child”

- “ Have you ever noticed when you're hiding, you always have to pee”

- “ I yell at inanimate objects”

Joining a group is sort of a statement of who you are. The groups people join never fail to amuse me.

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There are endless ways Facebook amuses me, I am not sure what I did before it??

On a side note, please change your profile picture back to your face, this doppleganger crap is confusing me…. What the hell is a doppleganger anyway? I picture this:

How does Facebook entertain you??

Little Boy Never Looked So Good

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:02:00 PST

Little boy never looked so good on Ezra! Ezra has really started to look healthy again, this picture makes my heart sing! He has hair, sparkle in his eyes, and the dark circles are gone. He is still pretty pale, but I think a lot of that is just his coloring. He hasn’t looked this good in over a year.

The chemotherapy maintenance has been going really well. He takes chemo every day in pill form, and he takes it like a champ now. The once a month clinic appointments have been fantastic! Its just that week on steroids that gets us, Ezra is really sensitive to them.

I am so proud of you Ezra, you are all ready a very special little boy, I can’t wait to see what you become!

Shutter Speed, A Bloggography Tutorial

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 05:02:00 PST

Written by my co-host Lolli

What is shutter speed?

Shutter speed is the amount of time that the camera’s shutter (or the opening that lets light into the camera's sensors) stays open. The shutter speed is measured in seconds (or fractions of seconds). A shutter speed of ½ of a second is considered a very slow (or long) shutter speed, while 1/1000 is considered a very fast (or short) shutter speed. In other words, a short shutter speed has a smaller number on the bottom. A fast shutter speed has a larger number on the bottom. According to a camera, a second is a very long time.

What shutter speed should you use?

Here's what you want to remember:

Use a fast shutter speed to stop action, or for fast-moving subjects.
Use a slow shutter speed to let in more light (in lower light situations), for stationary subjects, or to show motion.

Here are some examples:

Not the most exiting shot I know, but I am trying to show motion. Go check out Lolli’s for some great examples.

My fan is actually on, but because I took the picture at such a fast shutter speed, it seems as though my fan is not moving. Shot at 1/500 shutter speed.

If I use a slower shutter speed like 1/60 the same picture looks like this:

It clearly shows that my fan is on, and gives a sense of motion.

When setting up a shot, consider the movement in the scene. There are occasions where motion in your pictures is desirable. Say you want to take a photo of a waterfall or a bicycle or car zooming past....or an energetic 3 year old playing at the park. Those are the occasions where a slow shutter speed would be the way to go.

Where do you find the shutter speed?

If your camera has the ability to change settings, look for the Tv (time value) or S (shutter) mode (this is available on all SLRs and many point and shoot cameras). If your camera does not allow you to specify the shutter speed, look for the running man (sports mode) for a fast shutter speed to stop action.

Turn your camera’s mode dial to S or Tv. To make adjustments to your shutter speed turn the rear dial.

You can see the changes being made in the top LCD screen.

In summary, this is what you need to keep in mind:

* The longer the shutter stays open, the more light that comes into the camera, and the more likely you will be to get blurred motion.

* The shorter the shutter stays open, the less light that comes into the camera, and the more likely you will be to freeze the action in your shot.

The Challenge:

Take a picture of something in action, you can freeze the action, or purposely blur it to show movement.

Come back next Tuesday to link up and share your example of shutter speed.

If you have more questions about shutter speed, or even your camera, please feel free to ask any questions in the comments. They will all be answered!

Guest blogger, Suzen from Erasing the Bored

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 04:31:00 PST

Meet Suzen from Erasing the Bored! Suzen has an incredible way with words, and she is hilarious. I love these Millie stories, its definitely worth the read, it will have you laughing out loud! Thank you Suzen!

Millie Wisdom - Her Take on "Additives"

Millie and I were sitting on her covered porch having coffee. She had just finished pruning and pampering the rose bushes that hugged the perimeter of the porch. The roses provided color for the white background of the house and scented the air with a lovely perfume. Millie still wore her gardening apron with many pockets and her floppy straw hat to shield her from the sun's rays.

"Great hat, Millie!" I said, stirring the cream into my coffee. I almost thought I felt my spoon snap to attention at the strength of her brew.

"I never let the sun on my face - wrinkles, you know? I know I have a FEW, haha! Hard to be over 70 without wrinkles, but why ask for more?" With that, she pulled her face taut with her hands, stretching her skin toward to her hairline and added, "Look what I would look like with a face-lift!"

"Millie, don't pull so hard - your eyeballs want to pop right out of your head!"

"Oh I do this in the mirror from time to time. Have to see if I would still recognize myself!

Hey, look how I can look Japanese." she said, angling the pull a bit.

"Yes, Millie, very exotic!"

"Oh honey, I'd love an exotic look at my age!" she giggled. "I'd put on a geisha dress and strut into the senior center swinging my parasol!"

I tried to picture that. "Millie, I don't think geisha's strut, or swing their parasols. I do think you would be a hit though!" I said laughing.

"Well I'm tellin' you honey, I AM growing extra skin! Look at all this extra stuff!" she said pulling on her jaw line. "I resemble a de-feathered turkey for godsake!" she said, feigning a pout.

"Millie, let us all give great thanks - thanks that you are still here, turkey neck and all!" I teased.

"Oh haha. Listen, I DO give thanks - everyday! More than I can say for these young woman today! Tummy tucks! Fake boobs! Blowing up their lips with jello shots!"

"Millie you mean collagen - jello shots they drink at bars!" I said laughing at her confusion.

"Whatever!" she dismissed. "Mrs. Jensen got those big lip injections. Have you seen her? They are so big but she says they are numb. I say they are DUMB. I heard that her dentures slipped right our during choir practice last week. Those big ole lips didn't hold 'em back!" Millie slapped her thighs and bent over laughing so hard I had to join in.

Once under control, she went on, "We are all given a deck of cards. You can only play hands with what you have got. Some hands are better than others. So be it. You take your deck and do the best you can. Now that's what I believe! If you didn't get the full lips card, so what? You don't go makin' one up or stealin' from another deck. No siree you don't! The good Lord gave you what you got. Deal with it!"

"Aren't there people who, as the saying goes, are a few cards short of a full deck?" I asked, trying to calm her down.

"Oh sure there are, honey! My son David married one of those! That's another whole story! I'm just saying you can't cheat on God. You go ask Mrs. Jensen how thrilled she is NOT about her attempt at that! The other thing - the additive for breast enlargements! That's another thing just frosts me up so I can only imagine what God thinks of THAT!"

"Well it's very popular, Millie."

"Let me tell you something about breasts!" Her eyes lit up. She scooted to the edge of her chair. I felt a revelation coming on as only Millie could give.

"Breasts are FAT!" she said in a hushed ton as if anyone was listening to us out on her country porch. "It's FAT! And I'll tell you how I know this fact."

"I'm all ears, Millie" I said grinning.

"Well, whenever I went on a diet to reduce the bulk on my butt and gut after having kids, the first place I lost inches was my breasts. Once when I lost 35 pounds, they all but disappeared altogether! I'm tellin you, I had to buy smaller bras - the little sizes. Not smaller pants, mind you, smaller bras! Oh no, butt fat is a different fat I learned.

"My husband John was in shock back then. He saw me dressing once and said "Millie, my God! What happened? Where are your breasts?" I just replied, "Look lower John. They melted, fat that they are, and joined my butt, but look, John, I still have a fluffy, breasty fat butt!" He told me to quit dieting! Can you imagine?!"

"So boobs are fat, huh?" I asked for some confirmation.

"Absolutely!" she said sitting up primly in her chair matter-of-factly. "You take what you get and say thank you. It's your allotment and you don't mess with it."

Many times since that day, I've mused over the idea of "getting a pair" myself. But I'm haunted by Millie's wisdom on additives. I guess I'll keep my deck just the way it was dealt. And when I see my husband drooling over big booby movie stars on tv, I try, (try being the operative word) to comfort myself by thinking he is just lusting after FAT.

2 Boys In A Tub

manicmotherme@gmail.com (Manic Mother) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 07:03:00 PST

No, its not that kind of post…get your mind out of the gutter. Its my sweet boys enjoying an extreme bubble bath!

Every year on Christmas Eve we make the boys a huge bubble bath (yes, I know I am a little behind on posting this). I know I have shared with you before our infinite love for bubbles. But not in a bubble bath!

As you can clearly see it is a great time!

There are bubble beards….

There are bubblehawks…

Bubble fros…..

We love us some bubbles!

No children were harmed in the making of bubble hair or beards.