manictalesofsanity

Prep for Zambia

2007-05-16T20:28:00.000Z

Wow... so the Zambia trip is taking place in just over a month!
I need to prepare loads of stuff to ensure that the primary health care info I teach is relevant and effective!
At least I have a topic : Water purity
From this topic I hope to discuss various things such as illnesses spread through unclean water, importance of washing young babies regulary...etc.

Please let me know if you have any info on purifying water in a sustainable, cheap way i.e. no fancy gadgets! The people in the village walk 2km to the river to fetch water, the water is not clean and the resources/ infastructure they have is really limited in terms of water tanks and piping.

Thank you!!

mark the spot with a "doily"

2007-05-15T16:04:00.000Z

In Afrikaans South African culture all our old "Tannie's" (aunts) would crochet round "doilies". These creative objects would come in all colours, elaborately covering surfaces around the house. From the toilet seat cover to the proudly possessed television.
Today I heard that this art had a more subtle and strategic quality. Men would come home and claim their space in the house by demanding full and uninterrupted rights to the use of the television remote control (alarmingly this attitude still prevails today).
Women on the other hand would fight back by placing their prized "doilies" on surfaces they could claim as their own. Heaven help a man if he put his feet up on the coffee table and there happened to be a "doily" sprawling on it!

My husband's business, Skyrove, is growing by the month. This means his office is has now included the lounge. Many times I come home to find the dining room table has been converted into a boardroom, my beautifully placed flowers stashed in a dark corner.

I think its about time I found my crochet needle...

Sometimes we teach people to 'bound'

2007-04-27T09:57:00.000Z

So often I see the bewildered look on people's faces. Its the look of ' I've just been plucked from my happy world and made vulnerable - now everyone is laughing at me' See the video clip:

People come in to the hospital, get medicated, labeled with a disorder and 'dumped' back in their communities. The term 'dumped' is a strong word... it is not always the case that people get left to fend for themselves, there are many health professionals and community members who ensure that this does not happen. But sometimes it does!
Part of our jobs as health professionals is to help people recognise their strengths and abilities. And to let other people recognise this.
As someone once said, " we are all on a ledge, we don't know what will tip us" but I certainly hope that everyone encounters someone who will help them get back on their feet.

ashamed!!

2007-04-23T17:00:00.000Z

I hang my head in shame... It's been ages since I wrote a post. I have become a facebook addict!! It takes up all my time - amazingly what keep me going is that fact that I get a new friend everyday (mostly friends that I had in school ages ago).

Work has been going better. Its really tough being a new therapist! I feel the pressure of needing to know everything all at once. I suddenly have to form a new identity - as an effective and helpful therapist, a respected colleague and a full-time worker. But I'll put emphasis on FORMING.
Its a journey, one that i'll happily take with the knowledge that one day i'll look back and realise how far I've come!

Off to Zambia!

2007-04-05T16:49:00.000Z

Hooray! My interview was successful!

I'll join the team heading to rural Zambia for two weeks in July.
My task will be that of training the other team members in Primary Health Care and then implementing an intense training programme for the community in Zambia. They are mostly illiterate, speak only the local language and have no running water or clinic.
The next few months will be focused on finding sponsors to fund my trip, getting to know my team mates and learning more about the Zambian culture to make sure we are culturally sensitive in our approach.

From what I've heard it going to be rough - no showers, we have to carry our drinking water and food from South Africa and of course, as with any country in Africa, there will be lots of mozies (mosquito's)!

Thank you to friends and family who are already supporting me!

Prisoner at home

2007-03-31T10:35:00.000Z

So... we moved to a quieter neighbourhood.
Lovely! What is everyone going on about - there's no reason to leave the country!
We were just starting to get used to safely going for walks in the evenings when... last week the bliss was shattered and the tension returned. Henk's scooter was stolen in broad day light in front of our house. (a story familiar to most South Africans)

I think I'm developing some sort of paranoia about crime/ chronic generalised PTSD - listen to this...

To prevent being totally home alone I invited friends over for dinner. It was lovely! After a few glasses of wine and the toll of the midnight bell they decided to head home. It was late but I couldn't sleep so I started to watch some brain numbing TV. Suddenly the stomach wrenching smell of puppy poo hit me. I was about to call him a bad dog when I noticed that he has also puked all over the lounge. My poor puppy had gone limp, was panting and had a white tongue. Panic!

Then...

As I was about to clean up the mess the lights suddenly went out!

PANIC!!

What is the first thing that goes through a crime-riddled South African's mind?
"Someone has poisoned my dog and cut my electricity, they know I'm in here and they plan to rob, rape and kill me!"

I found my cellphone in the dark and hid behind the couch . I was totally immobilised and trying very hard to think through the alcohol swimming in my head. There was no way I was going to leave my 'safe' spot to check what had happened to the electricity.

I called our trusty armed response (ADT) who were here in 5 min (we can't rely on the police anymore to attend to calls- they are too busy fighting crime that has already happened). This finally gave me the courage to check the electricity...

In a freak clash of events my electricity credits had run out and my dog had gotten sick from eating big dog's food which didn't agree with his tummy.

Isn't it shocking that we live with this pensive tension - expecting some sort of crime to happen.
I'm supposed to go to a party tonight but I'm scared shitless to leave the house and worse to return alone later.

Thank you to John from ADT for going the extra mile and helping me look for credits in the early hours of the morning!

the experiment...so far

2007-03-30T15:34:00.000Z

I'm keeping myself very busy- went to movies with a friend, chatted to another friend til early hours of the morning and I've invited some awesome girlfriends over for dinner tonight. The question is - is the experiment really working if I'm still spending the majority of my time with other people? At this moment I don't really care because I'm having too much fun. I have very little planned for Saturday day and Sunday so I'll test my ability to be alone then.

Boredom

2007-03-29T22:25:00.000Z

I'm faced with just me for a couple of days. Scarey! Why...? I try to think of myself as independent...but times likes these remind me that I'm a restless soul. I often have other people to fight my boredom. hah! This will be my experiment: How can I be happy and not bored with me?

Procrastination and writer's block

2007-03-28T19:34:00.000Z

Geez... I still haven't posted the letter. Just keep forgetting or don't have it with me when I do remember.
Since Henk has convinced me to put my blog on my own website I've somehow lost my desire to write. I've been thinking too much about what to write instead of just blogging.

Moving Blog Address!

2007-03-21T21:19:00.000Z

I've just gotten the website http://www.altheabarry.com registered!

So this will be the last post at http://sanicmanity.blogspot.com. I hope this doesn't cause too many hassles, and that you will still see this message in case you come back here.

I'll blog for you baby!

2007-03-19T19:13:00.000Z

I recently went to an interview for a Christian missionary trip into very rural Zambia. I'm bursting at the seams to use my skills for community development - having been overwhelmingly inspired after meeting the likes of Frank Kronenberg and David Werner.

Although this trip will be missions focused they have identified the need for someone to do health promotion. I was literally on the edge of my seat when I heard, although my religious/spiritual standpoint is complicated. I'll leave it there because I don't know where to begin on that topic.

So part of the interview focussed on who will support me - of course primary emotional support will be from my husband. But... what about spiritual? Henk is (what he likes to call himself) a Bright. This (I think) is an ego boosting term implying that he is clever enough to realise that there is no concrete evidence to suggest that there even is a God. Our debates are endless.
So... in the interview it becomes apparent that my non-Christian husband and my complicated stand-point could become a problem.

Later that evening Henk asks how the interview went and if I'll be going to Zambia. My reply is I don't know: "It seems like the fact that you won't pray for me could be a problem." To which he replies:

"But I'll blog for you, baby!"

Giving is easier than receiving

2007-03-15T15:52:00.000Z

I spend my day looking for ways in which people's potential can be identified and expanded in a sustainable way. This means that I spend the majority of my day giving - this is part of what lets me feel fulfilled - we can't be truly altruistic. On the other hand receiving is difficult - a patient made a HIV badge for me and my initial instinct was to say 'are you sure?' I really felt guilty about receiving something and filtered all the reasons why he would want to give it to me out. Allowing someone else to give is also giving in a sense. We don't need to always be in control!

new dsm IV diagnosis

2007-03-11T20:21:00.000Z

It was a sweltering 36 degrees on Friday - for Cape Town this was HOT. I quickly shot through to the traffic department to pick up my drivers licence (previous one was stolen and took 3 hours to apply for replacement). So I run in expecting this queue to be short. Forget it! I couldn't even see someone behind the counter and the queue was going out the door. As I stood there I started exhibiting the following symptoms:

extreme irritability
noise sensitivity
need for separation from the human race
frustration - almost leading to the need to scream, run around naked etc.
delusions of what would happen if i were ruler of the earth
trance like moments - these provide momentary relief
crabbiness
feeling of near implosion
the list goes on...

From this I have formulated a new diagnosis - QUEUE INDUCED PSYCHOSIS

new age

2007-03-07T10:58:00.000Z

Today I very proudly wrote a letter to my grandmother-in-law. I say proudly because its one of those things I forget to do. What a scary realisation that I have to look for a stamp, or go into a post office to buy one and then find a post box. I don't even know where the closest one is. I've become such an instant messaging junkie that the thought of all that admin makes me cringe. Probably why I 'forget' to do it!

no work on monday campaign!

2007-03-05T18:23:00.000Z

I just couldn't function today. My thoughts were everywhere. I was working on at least 5/6 different documents, phoning and smsing all at once! If I was at home my house would be spotless, instead I arrived home exhausted . We have no water in the house because someone attempted to steal a copper pipe on Sunday morning - apparently copper is worth a bit in this country. Makes you think- people are that desperate that they disturb a perfectly good sunday sleep in for a few rand. aaah I really loathe the admin that it causes!
Employment is a huge issue in this country - Daily I meet people who struggle to find work and opt to get a disability grant for a measly R820 a month. Tik sounds like a reasonably cheap escape with stressors like that!
I've done it again - gone off the topic - as you can see I shouldn't be working on mondays!

learning from my patients

2007-03-02T17:10:00.000Z

Every friday afternoon I spend time facilitating a leisure group for the patients. Now to those of you who think this is so low key - anyone can do it, let me explain. 24 psychotically ill men stand at the gates wondering why the hell they're in this 'prison' and why no one can understand the 'reality' that they have been enlightened to. The group aim is to engage them in an activity that either elicits existing skills or encourages them to develop new skills. In many ways the containment that is offered by the activity alleviates (not cures) some of their psychotic symptoms .
I wait in my OT room, filled with art and a table tennis table. The patients come in one by one and introduce themselves without any cuing. There happen to be three Xhosa speaking gentlemen who enthusiastically take charge of arranging a table for a card game. They call me 'sista' and ask if they can teach me a game - fantastic - existing skills! The game is called 'open'. I am of course a difficult pupil - I can't understand Xhosa. Through much negotiation they decide amongst themselves how they can teach me. One of them decides to be my partner and let me learn as I play the game. The humour and the close group cohesion was incredible. I finally managed to learn, resulting in an electric feeling of achievement amongst the group. There were so many dynamics bridged e.g. racial, cultural, language, therapist-patient, gender.

This is why I do this work!! I often feel flattened when I sit in ward rounds and try to fit my view into the medical model. Essentially I just played a card game!

what has happened to spelling?

2007-03-01T20:31:00.000Z

I'm appalled by my spelling in previous posts. Please can I just blame it on the sms age or perhaps that everything is so rushed these days?

quest for knowledge nosedive

2007-02-26T18:11:00.000Z

Fear grips me - corners me and asks "surely you should know what to do?"
After studying for four years I certainly don't know it all - the old saying "the more you know the more you realise how little you know" is oh so painfully true. It wrecks havoc with my perfectionist character and is given life by my fear of asking.

I went to this seminar today presented by Dr Sally Hartley, here is a link to the Disability dialogue newsletter which highlights the focus of her work. Community-based rehabilitation utilises the existing knowledge/skills of the client/ community. i.e. the knowledge we have as professionals can only be relevant when integrated into the 'lived-experience'.

As I sat there listening my logic and self-knowledge integrated into a realisation that I don't need to know it all - just be open to learning.

"pushing bums around"

2007-02-23T17:42:00.000Z

A client in the acute service was playing cards with me and a few other clients. He started externalising his thought processes regarding his dealings with women. When challenged about respecting women he replied: " I respect you - you come in here and sit with us, you're not like a doctor lady who pushes her bum around and makes me angry" Of course his anger and difficulty to control his feelings for women will need psychological intervention, however his statement draws the distinction between inforcing treatment authoritively and allowing opportunities for patients to express their needs in a therapeutic environment.
In a therapeutic environment the therapist does not simply illict/ observe behaviours for diagnostic purposes, he/she works with dialogue of the clients to make opportunities for in-action learning. For example answers to questions regarding insight are not simply recorded but insight training is done in all situations with the client.

psychiatry hoax or not?

2007-02-21T14:24:00.000Z

This debate has been brewing in my mind for a while - I am still far from making an informed non-biased decision. Having recently discovered stumble video and the anti-psychiatry arguments that psychtruth portrays I am, I hope, closer to taking a stand point.
I work in the rehab frame of reference and have for a while felt the stifling and ineffective push that medicine has on the recovery process of a patient.
1) The patient is seen as having and illness
2) Decision to discharge a patient is made on 'stability' due to medication rather than resolution of stressors - this decision is made almost entirely by the psychiatrist
3) The patient is given very little information about his illness or the side effects of the medication and very rarely alternative therapies are suggested - if they are they are offered as a 'para-intervention' to medication.

I would like to here some pro-psychiatry arguments!
Might interview some Dr's myself and post later

Still in psychiatry

2007-02-15T16:29:00.000Z

Well.. I accepted a permanent post at another psychiatric hospital in Cape Town. I'll leave the name anonymous as I plan to blog about everything I experience there without shame.
I'm having a serious professional identity crisis at work!! I workas an occupational therapist in an acute male admissions i.e. high turn over of patients with little time for rehab. My role is not easily defined in this setting as it can be incredibly broad! The team is very excited about my arrival however I still need to do some job carving for myself! Eish... its really testing my ability to be assertive!!
I can surely say that I hardly have a dull day!!
One of our patients is convinced he will get sponsorship to host a huge musical event and donate a few of his millions to us. Nice hah? Now although there might be a slim chance that this is true in his current psychotic state there is very unlikely that he will be able to execute such an event.
As a rule we always check out the credibility of delusions with family members - one patient really is a millionaire (for what its worth).

We're finished!

2006-12-28T21:01:00.000Z

Incredible! It has been a roller coster ride! Professionally I have been stretched to think out of the box, wing it and deal with very 'special' staff. Emotionally I have been humbled, frustrated, elated and learnt that my patience can only be stretched so far. Friendship could be the most critical lesson I've learnt and am continuing to learn. Its beautiful and difficult all at once.
In all - I winced and whined about doing community service and looked for all the loop holes but in retrospect it was a fanastic opportunity. WHY? You get a year's work experience and you get paid to do it - no more over burdened free student work!

lockedinpsych

2006-05-31T19:35:00.000Z

the hours went swiftly by, chatting about everything from relationships past and present to a crazy days work. The sun quietly set...still chatting. Realise it's getting dark...there's no one in the building ....eerie....eeeck...we're in a psychiatric hospital with the strangest, most bizarre kaleidoscope of people...one could be lurking in the corner...find the door by the dim light of a cellphone ..."oh crud" the've pad locked the door...panic. will we have to sleep in this building on hopsital equipment? bright idea..climb through window like a convict...hurray. relief. laughter...could we ask for stranger things to happen to us? so here it goes. this blog will be a collection of the many stories we live through during our year as physio/occupational therapist at a hospital for intellectually impaired adults.