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You'll never forget this creepy pitchman's infomercial

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 18:02:39

trutv.com: There's something inherently unsettling about pitchmen. Maybe it's because they're usually half used car salesmen and half John Wayne Gacy. Both are e...

Jennie June is just plain adorable

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 16:01:32

regretfulmorning.com: We posted a picture of Jennie June awhile back, and everyone took a liking to her. Today we're revisiting the 21 year old Chicagoan with some of our f...

How not to convince a cop you're not drunk

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 14:01:18

trutv.com: If you're ever pulled over and asked if you've been drinking don't say, "I'm not an alcoholic." But if you do, don't continue spewing nonsensical stat...

6 Ways The Creator of 'Sharktopus' Invented Modern Cinema

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 13:48:12

cracked.com: What if we told you that the man behind some of the cheapest, crappiest and most ridiculously named movies ever made (like Sharktopus, Dinoshark, Pira...

8 Rules for Not Sucking at Public Transportation

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 13:48:12

cracked.com: Like many of you, I rely on public transportation to get to work. I ride the train. Some of you might take the subway or bus. Still others, like my bu...

22 Video Games as Understood by Old People

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 13:48:12

cracked.com: Anyone who's ever received a gaming related gift knows that expectations should be directly tied to some combination of age and gaming experience. Aft...

Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends: Episode 23

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 13:01:44

heavy.com: Rocky & Bullwinkle, "Box Top Robery" Part 5, Fractured Fairy Tales "Snow White Inc.", Peabody's Improbably History "Robinson Crusoe", Rocky & Bullwink...

Sunday Morning Dad Comin' Down

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 12:47:34

heavy.com: Loading Player....ComedyScroll LeftScroll RightFat Albert and the Cosby Kids: The FuzzHe-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Quest for He-ManSunday M...

Lifesavers

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 0:02:21

regretfulmorning.com: It's a good thing she didn't say "It's what your father calls your mother" otherwise the little girl would be like "We're eating stupid cunts!"...

Dogs Who Pay More Taxes Than You Do

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 23:01:54

trutv.com: Very few people actually look forward to doing their taxes. Even if you've been scraping by all year and you know for a fact that your tax refund will...

Dumb news: The Lorax to appear in an SUV commercial

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 22:33:11

trutv.com: I speak for the trees SUVs The film version of Dr. Seuss's environmental cautionary tale The Lorax is hitting theaters this week and like many big mov...

Five Potential Premises for JK Rowling's New Book

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 22:31:06

holytaco.com: JK Rowling has officially taken a leap into writing for grown-ups. I guess no more wizards and what not. Luckily, she's been freed up by the success o...

Girls Who Passed Out

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 21:02:19

regretfulmorning.com: You really haven't partied until you've drank so much that you woke up with penises drawn on your face, while sloshing around in a puddle of your own ...

15 box office champions that should have won best picture

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 21:02:09

trutv.com: The Academy Awards are this weekend, and once again, a crop of supposedly "important" films are competing to be named the best picture of 2011, despit...

11 Most Popular Pet Names (For Couples, Not Actual Pets)

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 20:16:02

11points.com: Choosing the right pet name is a wildly underrated early decision a couple makes. In fact -- unless you decide to get tattoos of each other's names or...

VIDEO: Zac Efron dropping a condom on a red carpet is a big deal

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 20:02:05

guyism.com: If I were Zac Efron, I'd be prepared to bang a teeny bopper girl out at any moment. But people are somewhat shocked by Zac Efron dropping a condom on ...

Which movie should win Worst Picture at this Sunday's Oscars?

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 20:01:14

trutv.com: The 84th Annual Academy Awards are in full swing, with Best Picture predictions nodding toward a silent film about an artist. (Yea, I don't get it, ei...

The Star Wars Dub Even George Lucas Loves

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 18:46:40

heavy.com: BrockDubs dubs Star Wars and it's probably the best thing to happen to the franchise since slave Leia. We don't have any proof George Lucas digs it, b...

Blindfolded boxing is greatest thing you'll ever see

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 18:01:32

trutv.com: We have Ultimate Tazer Ball, a soccer style game where the players shoot each other with stun guns. (It won't impress Americans because it involves so...

VIDEO: 'Awkward Kristin' is the finest videobomb you'll ever see

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 17:31:35

guyism.com: This newscast aired sometime in 2010 but, for whatever reason, it's blowing up now. And deservedly so. This news clip of a reporter talking about a st...

The Week in Pranks: Celebrity Sleepovers and South American Superman

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 17:01:28

zug.com: People who say they love travel are lying. What they love is being somewhere else -- preferably somewhere their desk isn't, where meetings consist of ...

Ashley Hartman is easy on the eyes

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 16:17:58

regretfulmorning.com: Ashley made somewhat of a name for herself when she joined American Idol back in 2003. She was 17 at the time, and I think you'll agree with me when I...

If she moans in bed, it could mean she wants to have an orgy

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 16:03:11

trutv.com: But apparently there are some very strange scientific reasons why we fornicate and I'm not talkin' the baby-makin' variety. One theory suggests that l...

VIDEO: 'Fixed' iPhone Siri ad is infinitely better than the original

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 15:47:51

guyism.com: You know that sort-of obnoxious ad for the iPhone 4S's Siri with people speaking casually to Siri to get information? It's stupid, mostly because Siri...

Holy Taco Does Vegas

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 15:03:04

holytaco.com: (We sent our boy Ian Cheesman to Las Vegas to experience everything the city has to offer. This is what he came back with. There's butts in walls and ...

Taking Up Smoking is Way Harder Than It Looks

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 15:02:02

cracked.com: I was under the assumption there was supposed to be a joke in there somewhere... . Reply Love the ending! Reply I wonder, what would John Cheese say a...

Annoying subway skank gets scolded by angry dad

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:17:31

regretfulmorning.com: Some type of Asian prostitute starts walking around a subway hand rail with half of her ass hanging out. After about 3 minutes, an angry father tells ...

Honest Oscar Titles: 2012

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:17:19

collegehumor.com: Dear roommate, You already know that we each have our own printer, and we each have a sh*t ton of stuff to print. I don't mean to sound petty, but sto...

Don't dive out of a moving car

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:01:44

trutv.com: Instead of letting the cops pull him over, this guy decided he would elude them by diving out of his car while it was still moving. It wasn't even clo...

5 Actors Who Do The Exact Same Thing In Every Movie

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:46:35

cracked.com: Everyone assumes that directors and writers decide what happens in a movie, but many times the movie star is the most powerful person involved with th...

5 Things Nobody Tells You About Adopting a Dog

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:46:35

cracked.com: I'm a dog person. I don't have a problem with cats, and I get along with most of them, but I'm just not a cat person, because I'm a dog person. If you...

The 6 Worst Attempts at Damage Control in Political Scandals

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:46:35

cracked.com: So you're a politician, and sooner or later you inevitably get caught engaging in some errant behavior. Whoops! Now you have a political scandal. What...

Wasturbation

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:16:47

collegehumor.com: I'd be lying if I told you I didn't do it regularly, and hadn't already done it today-and its only 10:51am CST. Yeah, I fell victim to the wake and wh...

7 types of the most terrible bosses

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:01:44

guyism.com: It's commonly known that no matter how much you enjoy performing the functions of your job, it's the co-workers that have the power to make or break t...

Pictures That Desperately Need Captions

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 3:01:11

holytaco.com: Have you ever seen a picture that you felt desperately needed a caption? Well, Regretful Morning is giving you your chance. They've got a gallery of 1...

Dear Progressive: Where's the Store Where Flo Works?

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 0:01:07

zug.com: The consumer pranking continues this week as I act on behalf of ZUG reader Mr. Mike to track down the insurance industry's worst mascot to date. As if...

Bob Ross XXX Painting

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 23:32:11

heavy.com: Loading Player....ComedyScroll LeftScroll RightBob Ross XXX PaintingKenny Powers MFCEO is BackIf Prince Wasn't FamousMike Myers as the Oscar Etiquette...

Facebook thread features boyfriend dumping girl after she tattoos his face on her

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 23:31:07

guyism.com: Fake? Real? You decide! This snippet from an epic (in the classical sense, not the "YouTube commenter" sense) Facebook thread features a girl tattooin...

10 Dumbest Moments Of The 2012 Presidential Primaries

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 23:17:34

trutv.com: Being a Presidential candidate is no easy gig, but it often seems like they're given a lot of room to fail. Kind of like a child whose parents tell th...

Dumb News: 'Borat' star banned from Oscar ceremony

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:31:02

trutv.com: Oscar snub Sacha Baron Cohen, the outrageous comedian who brought the characters Borat, Bruno and Ali G to life has reportedly had his tickets to the ...

The Future Of Bathroom Technology

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:46:03

holytaco.com: We're all slightly above pooping in holes at this point. We have to assume that if you're here, reading this and using the internet, you, at the very ...

Animals Trolling Other Animals (15 GIFs)

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:16:23

regretfulmorning.com: Around here there are a few things we like to focus on. Hot girls, funny animals, trolling, and GIFs. Today our gallery will cover 3 out of those 4. I...

Here's a perfect example of what not to do after a first date

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:03:33

trutv.com: Call me an optimist, but I'd like to think that JJ's date with Kevin was pretty good, based on his use of a winky emoticon at the top of this neverend...

My Reaction To The New Paris Hilton Song, Or Things I Groan When I Have Diarrhea?

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:02:14

holytaco.com: Paris Hilton has released a new song. Or rather, Manufactured Superstars, an electronic music duo out of Denver, made a backing track and they got Par...

5 pictures from Tumblr that will make you go 'WTF'

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 20:03:51

trutv.com: 2. Mom and Dad were secretly hoping Melissa would forget school and wind up a teen mom on welfare. (via sarahandnyc) 3. There will be no fooling this ...

What it Actually Means to Have Dogs in the Workplace

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 19:46:17

thecollaredsheep.com: A recent article on USA Today focuses on the concept of dogs at the workplace. There is a reference to the Ohio chapter of The Nature Conservancy as a...

Plastic surgeon dad gave daughter implants for her 18th birthday, nose job for her 21st

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 19:19:02

guyism.com: Ah parenthood. All the things you can look back on as you raise a child to be a success. The moment she's born. Her first bike ride. The time you gave...

Kenny Powers MFCEO is Back

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 18:46:58

heavy.com: Listen up, beotches. Kenny Mothereffin' Powers CEO is back and unveiling some new kicks that combine the power of cheetahs, Bruce Lee, and missiles. Y...

The Inner Monologue of a First Time Stoner

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 18:18:02

zug.com: Every time a group of men under the age of 25 gathers for long periods of time, you can bet your last two cents that one of them (probably you) will b...

This Purity Bear commercial could even make Hugh Hefner afraid of sex

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 18:01:32

trutv.com: Commercials seem to have a very skewed view of reality. Magical talking animals just appear out of nowhere and everyone seems to accept them as if the...