Handy Manny Quite Contrary

Some End and Start of the Year Stuff

2012-02-21T13:22:00.001+08:00

To pick up where I left off which translates to what happened or what I did after my last post, I volunteered to be a boot camp trainer. I can’t believe it myself, a crow, shy person who shakes a lot when speaking in front of a crowd volunteered to be a trainer.

This is actually my second attempt to volunteer as a trainer. With the first one, I immediately retracted what I have said a few minutes after I volunteered because of the conflict with the schedule of my task. For the second one, I made sure that it’s not in conflict with anything. At that time, my task had just ended and my next task was scheduled to start in three to four weeks. The module that I wanted to volunteer for was for ten days and will start in two days from the time that I volunteered. There’s already an assigned trainer for that module but I think she was just obliged to be a trainer because no one was available at that time. When I send her an email that I wanted to be a trainer, she happily agreed because being a manager, she had lots of stuff to do. :)

Even though it may not look like it, I did prepare for it. I read the slide presentation a couple of times and had planned on how I will present it. I read the specification of the hands on exercises and even modified some of it to make it clearer, but it still turned out to be a pretty bad learning session. One of my objectives when I volunteered was for the trainees to not feel the way I did when I was a trainee but I think I greatly failed on this one.

I’m in a somber mood at that time and that whole training thing made it even more worst. I easily got saddened or got affected by the things that I've heard, things that happened and didn’t happen. I became too prickly and onion skinned, but as they always say, life moves on, so must I.

My trainees just graduated or finished their boot camp recently and I just hope they enjoy their stay in the company more than I did. I a bit got saddened upon learning that they are not assigned to the project (or practice or language) that they were trained for.

Moving on, I did another thing that I didn't expect myself to do. I had lined up for three hours just to have a book signed by two mere mortals! (exaggerating). We went to NBS Megamall to have our book signed by Chico and Delamar. I was there I think by 12PM and my book got signed past 3PM. Even though I got exhausted and hungry and all that, it’s still worth it. Delle is such a pretty sight and Chico is not that bad either, and I really like his tie! If only I had the courage at that time to ask him where he get it.

Another one, I’ve recently went to see Mamma Mia! It was my first time to watch a musical theater and I was greatly overjoyed by it. I've decided to watch this just to give favor to a friend but I ended up loving it more than I had anticipated. My only regret was we bought the cheapest ticket even though we can afford to buy the more expensive one. I'll try to post more about this some other time.

Me with the red suffocating carpet in CCP where Mamma Mia was being played.

Second to the last topic, I'm still here in my beautiful summer country!!! :) As I've said in my previous post, by this time I'm supposed to be in a different country as an onsite person, but I'm still here. I no longer hear any news about it, but I'm not that much affected because I still have my Korean trip to look forward to, though I admit that I still hope for it to push through.

With regards to my Korean trip, I did went to my Korean language class but I'm only able to attend two sessions. I got too tired going to Makati every Saturday and I already know the things the are being thought to us. The instructor was also not paying that much attention to our pronunciation that's why I think it's no longer worth it to go every Saturday instead of just resting and enjoying my weekend. And the biggest reason was I just got too lazy.

About the Korean trip itself, I had planned to apply for my visa today, but I'm not able to get my COE and ITR. I've run into our company messenger yesterday while I'm on my way out of the building to do some stuff and he told me that he already have it. Since I'm already out of the building, I just asked him to leave it on my desk. When I went back, it's not in my desk and the messenger already went home. Hopefully I'll be able to get it this week so that I'll have my visa by next week, and if it don't get approve, I'll still have time to apply again. I've already made my room (or bed) reservation in Seoul and luckily I didn't have to pay anything yet.

Lastly, I changed my blog title! I wanted to do this a long long time ago, but I can't think of any title that I really like. Then, while I was reading The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, which I also plan to blog some other time, I found my blog title! It's from the nursery rhyme Mary Mary Quite Contrary which was used in the novel. I'm also quite contrary, so I think that fits me. It's really supposed to be Mister Manny Quite Contrary, but then 'Handy Manny' came into the picture, then there, it became 'Handy Manny Quite Contrary'. I'm quite handy I guess, that is if I'm not in my quite contrary mood.

half full and half empty

2011-12-17T17:32:00.002+08:00

As much as I want to keep it to myself, and just surprise everyone when I'm already there, but due to my uncontainable (if there is such a word), irrepressible excitement at that time, if you're one of those people who talk to me often, you probably know by now that I had booked a flight to Seoul, South Korea in April. I booked a promo fare(half of the original fare) flight with Cebu Pacific.

I'll be going solo in Seoul so I decided to learn a few basic Korean greetings, phrases and some few helpful sentences. I learned a few sentences faster than I anticipated and then decided to learn not just a few phrases but Hangul in its entirety. I think I've learned a lot in a few weeks. I've learned the letters or characters, the two number system and construct basic simple sentences, though I'm not sure about my pronunciation and I still find it a bit hard to understand Korean when its is being pronounced.

To be able to practice what I have learned, I had also make a reservation for Korean class with ENLI (Every Nation's Language Institute) in Makati. The class is also at a discounted rate (around 75%) through Metrodeal that's why I decided to give it a try. I reserved for a class that will start in the second week of January next year.

In my opinion, these whole plan is not bad right? And if I didn't express it wholeheartedly yet, I'm really excited and looking forward for this trip. Then came another great opportunity.

A week ago, my team lead talked to me and presented a great plan. I'll be released from my current project and will be assigned to a new one. I will be one of the few who will start this new project with the new client. I'm not sure what's still needing to be decided upon, but he said that the plan is still fifty fifty. Aside from pioneering a new project, another thing that I found good on this was that I will no longer do that most-hated-by-everyone supporting task.

One good thing after another, and I should be totally happy and rejoicing on this wonderful holiday news, but I'm not.

Another thing about this new project was that I (or we) will be going to another country and we will have our training there before we actually start the project. This is no way a bad thing. It's just what I wanted, different place, different country, different working environment, different culture, and I'll be living on my own (almost). It's really a nice thing, but was just presented on a wrong time. If all goes as planned, we will be leaving on the middle of January and we will stay there for six months, so it's in total conflict with my planned trip to Seoul.

The onsite task is a really great thing that's why I chose it over my Korean trip and it's a great opportunity that might not happen to me again. I also know that I can earn the money that I've spent for this Korean Trip faster than usual if this onsite task will go as planned and that I can still go to Seoul at some other time, but still, in a way it makes me sad that all the effort and decision making that I have done will just be wasted.

As I have said earlier, the plan is not yet concrete, and If I come to think of it, if ever this onsite task will not come into fruition, I will not be wholly sad about it because I still have my Korean Trip :)

one after another

2011-12-14T00:42:00.001+08:00

I'm posting not so good post one after another. I can't get out of this state. As soon as I get out of one sad state, another one will come along, in a different form.

This time it's my job. Though I already whine about my job before, this time it's different. I can't do my task! Everyone knows how I hated doing that task, but still, I'm an employee and I have to obey my superiors, except of course for the things that is not within my scope of work. It's not a very hard task, and I think if i'll just put my heart into it, I can finish all of it in a week. I've been doing that task for more than a month now and I've only done just 10% of it, and the deadline for that task is at the end of the month.

I'd become a very lousy employee these past few weeks and if I'm my manager, I'll fire myself.

Hope I'll do better tomorrow.

never ending

2011-12-01T02:22:00.001+08:00

(juvenile)

Why do all good things come to an end?

Why do happy days abruptly ends in sadness?

I know this sad feeling will end sooner, and this never ending cycle will start again.

When will this thing ends?

When will this questioning ends?

Please come in the morrow, I no longer care how.

Filler Post II

2011-11-27T09:31:00.001+08:00

Video post :)

I wish Charice had stayed like this, unlike now that I'm annoyed at her most of the time whenever I saw her on TV. She's not pretty but she looks charming here.

She's good, I'm not doubting that, but the Philippines is full of good singers so aside from having an exceptional talent, what a singer really needs to be recognized is luck, and she was able to get a lot of it.

In a way, seeing how all those K-Pop artists admire her talent, I felt proud of her. Even though I didn't understand what's happening, it seemed like they wanted to do a duet with her.

One thing that I have noted was Koreans can also sing high notes :) My knowledge about Korean singers is very limited and I never heard any Koreans belted a high note, just on this video and in another video where she sung a duet with one of the Super Junior member.

I guess most of teenage girl Filipino K-Pop fans are envious of her not because she can sing well but because she was able to meet (and hug) those K-Pop artists that they worshiped. Just saying :)

Filler Post I

2011-11-17T20:37:00.001+08:00

With the word "Death" on my last post, I felt compelled to create a new blog post so that it won't be the first thing that will be read in my blog. I tried to write a couple of times but it always ends up as draft. So, to be able to post something, I will post about an article that I had like at a certain point in my life. It's still about death though, but on a lighter note :)

I cleaned my drawers one Saturday afternoon and I found this article on the cover of one of my notebooks in College. I don't know who wrote this, I just cut this out from an MTV magazine and used it as a notebook cover.

Passion for Words: A Peek into The Story of Me

I don't think I'd like to die yet. The thought scares me. There are so many things left undone, so many rocks left unturned, so many songs left unsung, so many words left unsaid... and so many lives left untouched. I also don't think that how we die matters. What matters is how we spent our lives on earth. I read a quotation that said, "The purpose of life is a life of purpose." It doesn't really matter if we've achieved great feats or garnered countless medals. I think the essence of life is how we affected the lives of others - what part we played in their lives...

I don't think I'd like to die yet. But you know what? Each time we sacrifice things, give things up for others, we die a little. We die little deaths each day so that others can live. It may seem quite unclear, but let me put in this way: Love hurts. When we choose to give up to others the things that matters to us, we die a little, and I guess that's when we truly love.

I don't think I'd like to die yet. But the thought that perhaps I was able to make someone smile is comforting. Will people remember me when I'm gone? Will anyone remember that a certain Me once treaded the earth and tried to make a difference? No one can tell. But what really matters is the Here and Now. I'll try to live each day more meaningfully. I'll make the most of everything - while I'm still living.

So smile for me, please. And teach others to smile, too. Then when the whole world smiles back amidst all the pain and turmoil, I think I can die happy.

On Death of Someone

2011-11-01T01:02:00.002+08:00

Unlike other people who react even in a very minimal way like saying 'sayang' whenever there's a news that somebody famous died, I totally am not affected by it. I don't feel anything at all. I'm not close to them or even know them in a personal level for me to get affected. For someone I just know or maybe a colleague, I will be affected for sure, but not that much.

Just a few hours ago, I received a word that one of my classmates in College died. I can't say I'm totally not affected by the news, but I think I'm not affected the way my other classmates were. I may have a few close encounter with him, done a few group projects, discuss school related problems, but were not close.

If I were able to get all the death news from my classmates from elementary until college, this latest news was the third one. I was shock for the first two because of the way they died, and the second one was totally unexpected. I went to his wake, because it was the right thing to do, but after that, I wonder why I went. We never talk after high school, and truth be told, I even have grudge against him. I guess I only went because that was what everybody expect from me, and it didn't felt good.

So now, for the third one, even though I don't have anything against him, I will still not go. If I would go to someone's funeral, it should be because I want to, and not I have to.

This post or my views might be insensitive to some, but hey, I respect and understand how you lot feel, so do the same for me.

When I Went Halfway Around the World: Chapter One - Departure

2011-10-31T01:01:00.003+08:00

On the afternoon of September 4, 2010, we're all busy packing my things. We're hurrying up because my family got confused with my flight schedule. My mother had to buy some of the things that I would bring with me, then my sister had my luggage and they came all the way from Mandaluyong, so when they arrived in Bulacan, we just put my things in there and were on the road again.

My flight was 12:30 in the morning, so I had to be in the airport by at least 10:30PM. It's not really a mixed of emotions that I'm feeling at that time, it's more of a succession of different emotions :), I'm happy and excited while we're on the road, I'm extremely nervous and scared while I'm at the airport, then I was very sad before boarding, then happy again while on the plane, nervous again on takeoff, happy while were flying, extremely nervous again when I'm already in the US and being questioned by the Immigration Officer. It was my first time travelling alone, on a plane and in an international flight, so I guess I had all the rights to be scared.

My first flight was from Manila to Seoul, Korea. From there, I would take my direct flight to US. I was in Incheon Airport early in the morning, so there's nothing much to see. Even if the airport seems to be deserted, you can still see and observed how our airport didn't fare, even a bit to Incheon Airport. It's like a huge shopping mall with gates for plane.

The place was well lighted, clean, spacious and very organized. You can go from one point to another without asking for directions. NAIA Terminal I is old, dark, gloomy and very grievous to admit, dirty. I can still comprehend the gloominess and it being old because in the first place, it's really an old building, but it being dirty, with broken chairs, flooring and fixtures, is way below comprehension considering how much money they collect from travel taxes.

The next flight was from Seoul, Korea to Atlanta, GA. The plane is bigger now than the first, complete with entertainment facility. It was a thirteen hour flight so I think it's a necessity to have other things to do other than sleeping and eating.

Speaking of eating, it's my first time to eat Korean food. Western food is also being served, but since I'm flying through Korean Air, I took the opportunity to taste what Korea can offer.

This is a bibimbap, or mixed rice. I didn't know how to eat it, but I was shy to ask the FA how, so I observed first how other Korean passengers eat it. Even though it was not served fresh, the food tasted really good. Later, I've learned that it’s usually serve with an uncooked egg in a hot bowl and that make me wonder how it would taste like if its freshly prepared, complete with all the ingredients and serve in a hot bowl.

Even if there's an entertainment facility, I still got bored. I've already watched a couple of movies and documentaries, listened to a number of music compilations, but the time seemed to move at a very slow pace. Also, even having a big appetite, I didn't enjoy eating. My stomach is like full of gas. It's like all of the food that I ate was just being converted to air.

After hours of watching, sleeping, eating, frequent visit to the rest room, we arrived safely in Atlanta. Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport is also nice, but in my opinion, Incheon Airport is nicer.

(Disclaimer: from here, until the end of my blog post, I would like to clear that it’s not my intention to be racist or anything. I belong to a race that is most of the time being step upon so I know how it feels like being degraded by racist remarks)

First observation. By the time that I stepped out of the plane until I'm in the house, most of the people that I saw was black. From Airport Security, Immigration, Custom Officer, Airport staff, taxi drivers and neighbors, most if not all of them are black. We know how American black people are portrayed in movies, and aside from that they talked very loud, as if they were angry, so I can't help but to get scared.

Second, their advancement in technology or how well they can afford the comfort that technology can bring. The tissue dispenser is automatic!! I was amazed, :D. If sanitation is the main concern, I guess this is how things really should be. The faucet, soap dispenser, tissue dispenser, or almost everything in the rest room should be automatic. The airport for me is also a testament how rich United States really is. Atlanta Airport is the world’s busiest airport, but the airport is huge enough to handle huge volume of people and you would not notice how busy the airport is until you observed the flight schedules or noticed the intervals of arriving and departing planes.

The set up of the airport is very much different from our airport, so I'm a bit lost at that time on where to go. Unlike in our airport where each terminal have their own check in counters and baggage claims, Atlanta Airport have two terminals just for check ins and baggage claims and to go to other terminals(or Concourse), you have to take an underground train. Just like what most shy people would do, instead of asking for directions, I just followed the flow and read as many signs and directions as I can.

Before, I thought that you can already enter the United States once you have a valid US Visa, but based on some stories I've heard, it's just the first part. When I arrived in Atlanta Airport, the first thing that I have to go through was the Immigration. I'm carrying a B1 or a Tourist Visa, so I have to prove to the immigration officer that I don't have any intention of working there. The Immigration Officer's questions were almost the same with the Consul's questions when I applied for my Visa. Unlike the Consul, the Immigration Officer didn't comprehend that much my purpose of staying in the US. I was only cleared with the Immigration after I showed him my scheduled activities for 3 months and I was allowed to stay in the US for 3 months, or until December 4, 2010.

After collecting my luggage, the next thing that I have to go through was the Customs. I was not interviewed here because I didn't have anything to declare, but my things will still be inspected. I'm not sure if they are just doing random checking, but all luggages must pass through the scanner, then it will go to an area where it will be manually inspected and you will only see your luggage again at the baggage claim area. As a first time traveler, I'm not entirely sure if the things that I brought with me were still within the legal limit, so I'm nervous through the whole process.

After depositing my luggage on the conveyor belt, where it entered a room and I no longer know where else, I was thoroughly scanned for any deadly and/or illegal materials, and after that, I took the underground train that would take me to the baggage area where I would collect my things and also where my soon to be office mates/friends/families for 3 months were waiting for me.

Note:
Aside from not bringing a camera with me, I'm not good in taking pictures, and I also accidentally deleted most of the pictures that Iv'e taken, so some of the pictures that I will include in my post are not mine:
1. Korean Air's Bibimbap - alfredlee's flickr
2. Atlanta Airport's Atrium - visitingdc.com

On Quitting my Job

2011-10-17T19:04:00.002+08:00

For months now, I've been contemplating on quitting my job. I'm no longer happy. This is not how I imagined it to be. I thought that as a software engineer, or as a program developer, my task would be to develop new programs and/or modify existing programs. I didn't expect to do any supporting task and most especially I didn't expect a lot of idle times, as in months of being idle.

So, what's holding me back from resigning and finding a new job?

There are a lot of things to prepare when applying for a new job. I have to fully prepare myself, especially from rejections, and it's not that easy getting out of one's comfort zone. I also have to review all the things that I have learned these past three years working as a COBOL programmer.

Another reason and I think this is the one that matters the most, is I no longer want to be a COBOL programmer. I still want to be a programmer but I no longer want COBOL. I'm not sure if I even like it in the first place. I think I just don't have a lot of options at that time.

I can apply for a programmer trainee again, but that would also mean that I have to start from the minimum salary for computer programmer again. I'll be a hypocrite if I say that money don't matter because it does, it really does.

Whenever I felt like this, I always read this post written by my sister's friend. I don't agree or I can't 100% relate to her post, but she's able to state what I'm feeling most of the time.

Only Stupid People Get Bored

Only stupid people get bored... We get stupid when we’re bored.

Buckets of Tears to Earn Three Pure Tear Drops

2011-09-11T00:09:00.003+08:00

Synopsis:
Shin Ji Hyun was living what seems like a perfect life. Days before her wedding, she got into an accident that puts her in a coma. It was not yet her time to die so the Scheduler gave her a second chance to live, but first, in 49 days, she must find three people, excluding family members, to cry pure tears for her. To be able to do her task, she must take over the body of Song Yi Gyeong, a suicidal convenience store staff, but she can only do this when Yi Gyeong is sleeping.

I really like this series!! I sympathized a lot with the characters. I'm happy when they are happy, sad when they are sad and (almost) cried when they were crying whether because of extreme happiness or sadness. I really got connected with the characters, even with the antagonists. I understand why they act the way they did in the story.

This might be a bit confusing, Lee Yo Won, who played Yi Gyeong was really good! I like Ji Hyun more when she's in Yi Gyeong's body than when she's in Ji Hyun's body. She's also good when she's Yi Gyeong and maybe because of the mystery behind it, I find her story more interesting than that of Ji Hyun.

The Angel of Death was given a twist here, they are called Scheduler. They have the schedule or the list of people that they have to accompany to the elevator that will take them to their final destination. The Scheduler in the series is a man who recently died and volunteered to be a scheduler to fulfill his promise. His human memory and also the promise that he has to fulfill were temporarily wipe out until he finished his duty. The task to help or guide Ji Hyun during her "49 Days" journey was assigned to him. Lots of crying happened in this series (hence the title of the blog post) and he was one of the characters who brought comedy to the series and I think the actor also played his part really well.

So many things happened in the last episode, too many that I think it felt a bit cramped and some of the twists not properly executed and felt a bit rushed. It seemed like they just tried to give the audience something heart warming or something good to make up for the sad ending, but I still like it nonetheless.

Lastly, I rarely noticed errors in the production of films or series so whenever I noticed something, I got thrilled. Mobile phones were very much used in this series and almost everyone used the same phone model. It looks like a Samsung Galaxy S but the back plate is different, so I searched for it on Google. It was Samsung Galaxy S Hoppin, and it was released in South Korea only. I no longer remember what episode it is, but in that episode, the back plate of the phone that Han Gang and In Jeong (two primary characters in the story) were using were different, and it looks like their using the original Galaxy S, but after that episode, the back plate were of Hoppin again. Maybe Galaxy S Hoppin also has that kind of back plate, but still, why would they change the back plate for just one episode? :)

Home Alone

2011-08-14T09:11:00.001+08:00

I’m on support schedule this not so gloomy Sunday and I have decided to not go home in Bulacan yesterday. With my Aunt and Uncle in Singapore and my cousin in Bulacan, I had the house all by myself.

I’ve experienced living alone for a month in US. My housemate went back home on December and the new housemate came on February. With my lack of skills on doing household chores, specially cooking, I dreaded my first week alone. I felt sad whenever I went home. But after that week, I’ve adjusted with my situation, enough to not want to have a housemate. I’ve enjoyed cleaning the house and I’ve even enjoyed cooking. I don’t know how to cook, but since no one will prepare my food for me, I was forced to learn how to cook, but, I didn’t learn that much if not at all.

Back to the present, sitting on the sofa, with nothing much to do, I’ve thought of having my own home. I don’t want a huge house. Two floors will be enough, with only the bedrooms upstairs, just like my temporary home in the US. I want it to be as simple as it can be, just like the eco friendly houses I saw on the Internet. I also want to have a car, but not the luxurious one. A convertible mini cooper will be enough. J

With my current salary and ways of spending, this is too far-fetched. Maybe I should try the lottery. I've tried once, and I'm able to get two numbers, maybe I'll be luckier the next time around J

Airfare and Taxes

2011-07-17T19:23:00.001+08:00

In two weeks, I, my sister and my parents will be going to Singapore. Excited? Not that much. I’m dreading more of the expenses that we will incur during the trip. Do I have the right to complain? No, because I'm the one who thought about all of this.

When my cousin told me that there was a seat sale in Cebu Pacific, the impulsive me immediately went online to check and asked my sister to book a flight for me and my mum because I still don’t have a credit card at that time. Initially, aside from my uncle and my aunt who would also be in Singapore for a month to be with my cousin who currently works in Singapore, it will just be me and my mum. My sister said that she’s on a tight budget and will think about it first. My father doesn’t have a passport that’s why I didn’t bother to ask my sister to book a flight for him. The following day after my sister booked the flight, she said that she’ll now go with us but will be on a different flight and then a week after that, she told me that our father will also go with us, on the same flight. She already made some inquiries about booking a flight first before getting a passport and that it was allowed. So, that’s good, the only problem was that the seat sale is over, so we paid the full price for his ticket, and it was almost the same price of the combined ticket of mine and my mum. My only consolation was that the other half of my father’s ticket will be paid by my sister and my mum.

Just recently, I learned that aside from the Terminal Fee, we also have to pay the Philippine Travel Tax and it will be 1,620 PHP each. So, aside from the airfare which already cost me more or less 17,000 PHP, together with the Terminal Fee, even before boarding the plane, I’ll be spending an additional 7,110 PHP!! I’ve also learned that no food and drinks will be served in the plane and that we have to pay for it if we want some. I’m not sure of the setup of the airport terminal here in the Philippines, but if it’s the same with the terminals in Atlanta and Incheon Airport, we will definitely eat our meals first before we board the plane because I’m pretty sure that the food in the plane will be over the top expensive.

I’ve allotted 50,000 PHP for this trip, but even before leaving, half of my budget will already be consumed. If that’s not enough yet, while in Singapore, we will do a side trip to Malaysia, by plane. I don’t need to be a genius to figure out that my planned budget is not enough. I might cancel the other trip that I’m planning for myself at the end of the year, I might.

I just hope that we’ll have a great time, but knowing my father, I don’t hope too much. Still, it will be an alien place to him, maybe he’ll behaved.

I don't want to think about the expenses, but it's hard not to.

2011-07-12T08:36:00.001+08:00

I did some re readings of my previous posts and I was shocked that I was able to write those stuff, specially right now where I find blogging a very difficult and tedious thing to do. I'm not saying that my writing skill is good or brilliant, but I can say that it's not that bad, but not all of it though, only my 'proper' blog posts.

I'm trying with all my might to go back to blogging. As much as I can, I'm trying to use my spare time in the office writing some stuff. I'm currently working on a trip that I'm planning to do by the end of this year. I hope it pushes through, I already got tons of planned trips that got cancelled this year.

Trying to Blog Again

2011-06-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

An intro should have been here...

Anyways, today started as a perfectly fine day, mmmm, maybe not really perfect, just a fine day, but as the day progressed, I'm getting sadder and sadder. I just thought, I'm in a group of friends, but whenever or if there will be an instance that we have to group ourselves or if we have to be in pairs, no one would ever pick me to be paired with them, unless they don't have any other choice.

To refrain from entertaining those kind of thoughts, I opened my iPod and watched Torchwood, but it didn't help.....

This is so effing hard... ok, The Torchwood's episode was about a man who was hit by a car then died. His soul remained on earth for a few days. He saw how her mother grieve for his death, his friends and office mate's reactions, among other things. He also had a chance to be with the he loves or admire.

So, sad thoughts entered my mind again. What if that happens to me, how would they grieve my death? Or would they even care at all? If I die, I also wanted to stay even for just a few days. I wanted to meet people whom I never had the chance to meet, acquaintances whom I never seen for a long time, and the sneaky me who wanted to know what people do on their spare time.

If ever I have a reader, and If ever I'll write again, this might be the start of a series of a downer posts.

....
My very first raw post

Distraction

2011-02-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

I'm home, it's already late and I'm still working. Thought I'm done working from home after office hours. Swear I will no longer do this when I get back home. It's getting late and I didn't progress much. This music in my head is distracting me since I started working two hours ago. And now, I gave up, I went to YouTube, search for it then there, I'm happy again!!

This is the main theme of Howl's Moving Castle. I saw this animated film just 3 weeks ago and this music keeps playing in my head every now and then.

Suffice it to say, I adore the film a lot, especially this scene

Looking forward to watch Ponyo and Spirited Away.

Pictures

2010-11-28T12:23:00.001+08:00

I've been taking pictures every now and then, but I don't know what to do with it afterwards. I'm just taking pictures with my cellphone, because I didn't bring a camera with me. I don't like taking pictures that much, and I'm not good in taking pictures. So just to have some pictures to post, here's what I have so far. Did I already said that I'm not good in taking pictures?

Update: I set the album to private because it automatically link to my Google Plus account

Onsite

Random Thoughts

2010-11-22T00:47:00.001+08:00

It's Sunday already, and I haven't watch Harry Potter yet.

I wanted to go to New York and Orlando, but I'm still here, frustrated on why I can't go there, if only plane tickets and hotel accommodations were cheap, I can go on my own.

I brought three books with me, and it's been more than two months that I'm here, but I'm only able to finish reading just one book.

I'm browsing Facebook most of the time now, and it's something that I don't usually do back home, maybe it's how my unconscious self reacts to homesickness.

I've got tons of work to do, but I haven't done a single thing.

I bought a mouse and a portable hard drive two weeks before the day where most gadgets go on huge sale. I'm not using them right know, don't even know why I bought them on the first place.

I haven't had a decent sleep since I went here.

And I'm sulking more than ever.

Lazy Saturday

2010-10-24T02:33:00.000+08:00

It's Saturday, my favorite day of the week. But for the first time, I'm not enjoying Saturday. I just want to sleep, but I can't. Were waiting for this Security guy, who would inspect the house for security device installation. They said it will be around 11 to 1:30 PM, but it's already past two and they are still not here yet. Don't know if I could go to my room now and catch some sleep.

I'm Back!

2010-10-20T09:48:00.000+08:00

To the online world, I mean. Though I still got connected to the internet through my mobile phone, it still different when I'm using a pc/laptop. My brand new laptop *insert grin* just arrived 3 hours ago and it was such a happy feeling unboxing it. I've got lots of stories to blog about, but I might do that this weekend, when I don't have that much to do. For now:

Hello from Georgia!! In East Point to be specific :)

A Bit of Everything

2010-09-04T15:57:00.003+08:00

I feel a bit of everything right now, sad, excited, nervous, scared. I can't rest, don't know what to do, don't know what to say(hehe). There are a lot of things in my head, hayst. Hope nothing bad happen, nothing major.

not so good

2010-08-29T22:41:00.000+08:00

As much as possible, I don't want to talk about things that I considered very personal, but hey, maybe I can do it once in a while, and maybe I might snap out of it sooner if I think about it loudly.

It's just so hard to accept that your purpose on other people's life is over and they no longer need you. No matter how hard you try to make a connection, the response is most of the time, if not always, not pleasant. I would prefer them to be rude to me than this, it's more acceptable and more clear. I would at least know where to place myself. To make the matter worse, they are the people that I want or expect to be excited or happy when something good happen to me, or to be sad and feel sorry when bad wind blows my way.

Sigh...

I'm sad, I'm getting tired of chasing all these temporary happiness.

"I am always sad, I think. Perhaps this signifies that I am not sad at all, because sadness is something lower than your normal disposition, and I am always the same thing. Perhaps I am the only person in the world, then, who never becomes sad. Perhaps I am lucky."
- Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything is Illuminated)

I Made It

2010-08-19T22:55:00.006+08:00

Another long overdue post.

I thought that that would be another same day where my entry never get read by chico. I sent my entry at around 8:30AM, and it got read at 10AM. This made my day at that time.

07/12/2010 - Funny quotes from young people

That's my niece, zyrille, she's really like that. Another one that she said that I remember was when we celebrated my nephew's birthday. My nephew's birthday falls on a Monday, so we celebrated it on Sunday, then she said, "diba bukas pa birthday ni Gian, bakit may handa na, ano to, practice lang?" We really laughed hard at that one.

Tomorrow

2010-08-15T18:18:00.003+08:00

Pretty nervous and excited at the same time for tomorrow, hope I'll make it. If I do make it, my chronicle or little adventure will start. I always feel nervous and shaking whenever I think of tomorrow, I'm worried I might not be able to speak and think clearly. Good luck to me!! I need all the luck that I can get. I'm too nervous!!!!

Pressured

2010-07-24T07:28:00.007+08:00

Yesterday, my Project Manager said something to me yesterday that have put me into a lot of pressure. I'm on half of my shift when she talked to me, so I'm not able to work the whole half of my shift. Today, another news again, this time from my Practice Manager, great, just great, I now can't work. Then, when I viewed my blogger, I realized that I have a lot of posts that are still on draft, I still have four books to write something about and if that wasn't enough, I'm currently reading another one.

I want to go home :(

Fear

2010-07-02T14:19:00.001+08:00

Samsung Wave related post

A realization dawned on me today. Aside from other minor reasons why I'm still not totally sold out on buying Samsung Wave, the biggest reason, I think, is I'm scared. I have a fear or I'm scared of buying an expensive phone for the reason that I'm scared that I might lose it again. I've lost two phones in just two months last 2008, and I acquired a certain kind of fear out of that. I don't want to think of it as a trauma, but it's somewhat like that. I'm using a china phone/clone/fake n79 right now and I didn't buy it, it's my mother's old phone, so if ever I'll be able to buy the Wave, that will be my biggest purchase again after I bought my Nokia 5300 three years ago. I really can't decide, maybe I just need a push, a very hard, full force push.