“Happiness, not in another place, but this place… not for another hour, but this hour.”
— Walt Whitman

All around the world, the present moment is filled with beauty.

If you are attentive, you will see it. If you are willing, you will help create it.

Let’s take a moment to think about the beautiful things happening around us, near and far.

Right now, at this exact moment somewhere… (more…)

“Fall seven times, stand up eight!”

On an average day, most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your response and all that extra stress is gone. Truly, inner calmness among chaos is a superpower that frees you to focus more effectively on the few things that actually matter.

So don’t overwhelm yourself. Just do what you can right now. Practice focusing on what truly matters, and letting go of what does not. Use your frustrations to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of your focus, and how you choose to allocate your energy today.

And here are a few more good things to reflect on when life gets stressful…

1. Happiness is never constant (and it’s not supposed to be).

You have to fight through some (more…)

Too often we overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making a little progress every day.

You’re probably familiar with what’s known as the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There’s an important lesson here — one that’s very often glossed over…

When a chaotic reality is swirling around us, we often try to relieve our anxiety by (more…)

Life enlightens you gradually as you age. You realize how much nonsense you have wasted time and energy on. And you begin to understand what it means to let go.

Have you ever met Debbie Downer, Negative Nick or Pessimistic Pat? These people can be so entrenched in the bad that there isn’t any room left for good things to grow. They inhabit our families and social circles. It can be emotionally draining just being around them, and you must be careful because their attitudes are contagious. Negativity perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and clutters the mind. And when the mind is cluttered with negativity, peace and happiness are much harder to come by.

So here are 10 essential ways to defend yourself against negativity:

1. Don’t take other people’s negativity personally.

Most negative people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they interact with. What they say and do is (more…)

Live by choice, not by chance. Make changes, not excuses. Be motivated, not manipulated. Work to excel, not compete. Listen to your own inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else…

This is the way to inspire people! This is how you can grow into the truest version of YOU.

And here are a few more tips to reinforce the idea of genuinely inspiring everyone around you:

1. Be authentic and true to yourself.

In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be — the best version of you — on your terms. Above all, be (more…)

People who have been consistently successful at what they do are always fascinating — especially those who experience repeated success in many areas of their life throughout their lifetime. In entertainment, I think of Taylor Swift and Oprah Winfrey. In business, I think of Steve Jobs and Warren Buffett. We all have our own examples of super successful people like these who we admire. But how did they do it?

Over the years I’ve studied the lives of numerous successful people. I’ve read their books, watched their interviews, researched them online, etc. And I’ve learned that most of them were not born into success; they simply did, and continue to do, things that help them realize their full potential. Here are twelve things they do differently in life that the rest of us can emulate.

1. They create and pursue S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Successful people are objective. They have realistic targets in mind. They know what they are looking for and why they are fighting for it. Successful people create and pursue S.M.A.R.T. goals.

S.M.A.R.T. goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and (more…)

“Do not ruin today with mourning tomorrow.”
— Catherynne M. Valente

Ever feel a little overwhelmed? Or really overwhelmed?

This quick story is for YOU…

Once upon a time there was a man who had been lost in the desert for three whole days without water. Just as he was about to collapse, he saw what appeared to be a lake a few hundred yards in front of him. “Could it be? Or is it just a mirage?” he thought to himself.

With the last bit of strength he could muster, he staggered toward the lake and quickly learned that (more…)

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”
—Hans Hofmann

Have incredible stories to tell, not incredible clutter stuffed in your closets. I sincerely wish this for my family, and yours. So let me start off here by asking you…

• Does your home serve you, or do you serve your home?
• Will your home afford you the necessary space to create happy, healthy memories and stories in the days and weeks ahead?

These are not questions most of us ask ourselves, but we should. After all, our homes are meant to serve a distinct purpose in our lives — to be both the space we come back to, and the space we go out from each day. Our homes are, in essence, the foundation of our daily lives. And as we enter the fall season, it’s a great time to check in with yourself…

If your home is serving you well, it is (more…)

Life is not complicated. We are complicated. When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple.

So starting today…

1. Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress.

Start embracing it! Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today. It means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to honor yourself respectfully, so you can live your life fully. It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!

2. Stop doing immoral things simply because you can.

Start being honest with yourself and everyone else. Don’t cheat. Be faithful. Be kind. Do the right thing! It’s a less complicated way to live. Integrity is the essence of everything successful. When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life. So keep life simple and enjoyable by (more…)

“It does not do you well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
— Albus Dumbledore

Dreams and a vision for our future are wonderful things to have. They can inspire us, keep us motivated and help us to do scary things. But what happens when we don’t achieve our dreams? What happens when you wake up in the middle of your life and realize you haven’t done the things you thought or hoped you would?

If you had shown me a picture, 15 years ago, of what my life would look like today, you would have had to scrape me off the floor. There would have been disbelief and a whole lot of ugly crying. So I’m glad I didn’t get that memo. But I’m surprisingly okay with the picture of my life today. Actually, I’m not just okay, I’m happy.

Dreams vs. Real Life

Back in my twenties, in the thick of postgraduate studies in Psychology, my dream was to (more…)

The unhappiest people in this world are the people who care the most about what everyone else thinks.

“What’s wrong with wanting to please others?”

That’s what several people asked me via email in response to one of my recent articles. Today, I want to discuss why it’s not healthy to try to please everyone, and some effective ways to stop yourself from doing so.

Seeking approval from others is perfectly fine up until the point where you are compromising your health and happiness in the process. It becomes a serious problem if you feel as though widespread approval from others is the very oxygen you need to breathe. And there was a time in my life when I felt exactly this way…

I literally felt like I was short of breath — almost as if I’d die if my peers didn’t approve of me. This is a condition that developed in my mind when (more…)

Patience isn’t about waiting, it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.

As you move through the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself that it takes roughly 66 days to form a new habit. So for the next nine and a half weeks, consciously leverage the actionable reminders below to look at the brighter side of your life, and you will gradually rewire your brain…

1. Start steadying yourself with simple rituals.

When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Make the bed. Water the plants. Rinse off your own bowl and spoon. Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.

2. Start filtering out the noise in your life.

Be careful about who you (more…)

“There’s a vivid, beautiful, priceless piece of art hanging right in front of you. It’s sophisticated and detailed — a painstaking labor of deep devotion and love. The colors and textures are like no other — they soar and dip, they shine bright and leap right out at you! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the tiny, dark housefly that just landed on the edge this masterpiece. Why would you choose to do such a thing?”

She cracked a half smile in my direction and then shifted her gaze down to the ground.

“Look,” I said, “the point here is that there’s no possible way to be 100% certain about anything in this world. If you’re telling yourself otherwise, you’re lying to yourself — it’s self-deception. Life, like good art, is sophisticated, imperfect, and unpredictable. So you’re left with a choice: either appreciate it and look for the beauty in it, or focus on the worst and dwell on it.”

But if you expect the worst, you’re never disappointed,” she said under her (more…)

When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life still is easy. The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the more we complicate things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and (more…)

It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.

If you feel self-conscious and unsure of yourself sometimes, I know exactly how you feel. I used to be incredibly unsure of myself… and sometimes I still am.

But it’s not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, anxiety, an inability to join in, and feeling “different,” they’re really not all bad. Those inner battles have been my angels at times. Without them I would never have disappeared into literature, language, the mind, passionate work, and all the wild intensities that made and unmade me, and shaped me into the person I am today.

But a harsh truth remains: The enemies we encounter in life, especially our own inner demons, use the things we’re insecure about against us.

Which means we can’t hide forever. We have to emerge. We have to grow through our insecurities.

At some point we have to free ourselves and take our power back by being secure in who we are — flaws and all.

This isn’t easy of course — it’s a journey. And as you embark, here are some essential things to (more…)

The biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to overcome is your mind. Overcome that, and you can overcome anything.

When I was in my late twenties, there was a season when my motivation hit rock bottom. I would look around and see others motivating themselves to do what needed to be done. But not me. For me, motivation was an esoteric, intimidating game where I’d try to make myself do something while my mind simultaneously avoided doing it. If I won, I’d have to do something I didn’t really want to do. And if I lost, I’d be one step closer to ruining the rest of my entire life. At least that’s how I felt. And I never really knew whether I was going to win or lose until the very last minute.

Obviously, I was not being very mindful at the time.

The good news is, with daily practice, I’ve come a looong way from those rock bottom days of haphazard motivation.

Nowadays, Angel and I coach clients on a daily basis who are struggling to motivate themselves through various life situations. And fittingly, we guide them through many of the same core strategies I learned and practiced over the years to get my mindset and motivation from the lowest of lows to a stable high point.

One of those core strategies involves (more…)

Wealth is a mindset. Want less and appreciate more today.

As we enter the fall season, we will inevitably be bombarded with early gift buying guides championing the latest and greatest gadgets, jewelry, cars, and more. And while I’m not against investing in new products that add value to our lives, I don’t like hearing about how people think they need a bunch of new and expensive things to be happy.

The truth is, unless we’re investing in our personal growth and noticing progress, most of the money we spend on things doesn’t make us much happier or better off in the long run. We don’t need more fancy items in our closets collecting dust to find joy and contentment. And we can find a lot of what we’re looking for simply by paying closer attention to the gifts we already have in front of us — the satisfying simple pleasures we forget to appreciate… (more…)

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
— Albert Einstein

Mental strength is incredibly important. Take care of your mind and the way you speak to yourself. Don’t let negative self-talk weaken you today.

You do know you talk to yourself in your mind all the time, right?

Pretty much every one of us has a non-stop stream of thoughts — an inner self-talk — that has a powerful impact on how we feel, how we behave, and how we live our lives. Too often, though, this self-talk consists of unhelpful thoughts that drain our inner peace and overall effectiveness.

Which is why it’s time for all of us to stop (more…)

These questions have no right or wrong answers.

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

Let these questions shift your perspective, free your mind from the noise, and bring you clarity today: (more…)

You’ve come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things.

It happens to all of us gradually as we live and grow. We discover more about who we are and the way life is, and then we realize there are some changes we need to make. The lifestyle we’ve been living no longer fits. The environments and routines we once found comfort in no longer exist, or no longer serve our best interests. So we cherish all the great memories, but find ourselves at a crossroads in life, moving forward.

If you’re at that point now — at a crossroads of growth and change in your life — the reminders below are for you. I hope you will reference them in the days ahead, to remind yourself not fall back into your old habits and patterns of living simply because they’re more comfortable and easier to access. To remember that you’re leaving certain habits and routines behind for a reason — to improve your life, because you can’t move forward if you keep going back. And to reclaim your full potential in this next chapter (more…)