I woke up this morning and was praying for you. A scripture came to mind that I sense you may really need to hear:

Let us not grow weary (Gal. 6:9).

I sense that perhaps you or someone you know may have hit the wall, felt discouraged, been tempted to call it quits. You’ve been trying so hard, given more than you had, poured yourself out until there’s little left.

You’re dog-tired and drained.

If this is you, hear the Spirit-infused words, “Do not grow weary.”

Do not grow weary, because Christ will sustain you.

Do not grow weary, because the Father is ready to scoop you up in his strong embrace.

Do not grow weary, because Holy Spirit is healing the scrapes.

Do not grow weary, because you are not alone in this. God is with you.

You don’t know what’s coming. You don’t know what what God is going to do next. Like opening a mysterious door, you don’t know what good things God has for you, as you continue to serve, love, and give.

Your faithfulness will be rewarded. God’s good surprises will be revealed.

“For for if we do not give up, the time will come when we will reap the harvest,” (Gal 6:9, GNT).

Keep hanging on to him. And may the Spirit of God infuse you with strength, hope, courage, and love for the days ahead.

I love you,

Margaret

P.S. If you need a little extra encouragement, you can watch the teaching, “How You Respond to Hardship Matters” from new James Bible study here.

Maybe you’ve got a talker who takes so long to tell a story there’s no time for anyone else. Or maybe you’ve got a member that pipes up with the “right answer’ so quickly that there’s no space for anyone else to wrestling through the question. Or maybe you’ve got a member that never says a word.

What do you do?

Of course, you love them, respond in gentleness, redirect with humor (when appropriate), and celebrate that they’re made in God’s image.

But what else?

Here are 5 tips to equip you to respond well to difficult people and situations in your small group:

1. Set healthy guidelines. At the start of the group (or as soon as possible), introduce ground rules to create a safe, vibrant environment for spiritual growth.

This may include: starting and ending on time; confidentiality; welcoming disagreement as healthy; limiting sharing to a 2-4 minutes; encouraging support but not trying to “fix” anyone; embracing silence and pause in conversation; and avoiding side conversations during the group gathering.

Return to these guidelines every few months or whenever an issue arises to gently remind all members of the ground rules.

2. Recognize your limits. Some issues that are raised need more than what you or your small group can offer. For example, a small group is not professionally trained to handle mental health struggles, childhood trauma, or complex financial difficulties. Even if you have a member who is trained in these areas, those issues should be dealt with in a private office, not the group.

Together, you can find professional recommendations in your community to help the person.

3. Use different tactics for different people. If you have a talker, grab the moment they take a breath to jump in and invite others to share.

If you have a silent member, create opportunities to break off into pairs to discuss so they have a space place to talk.

If you have a toxic sharer, pull the member aside to explain the negative behavior, and then offer some healthy alternatives for them to share, such as with a counselor.

4. Rotate through facilitators. Everyone has unique leadership gifts. Invite different members to facilitate to develop their leadership skills. Some will likely be able to develop fresh, gracious tactics to help manage difficult situations.

5. Celebrate the group’s wins. When you have a time of rich study, deep sharing, or special connection, say it aloud in that meeting.

“There was time for everyone to share, everyone to be seen and heard, and to experience the wonder of God and Scripture–this has been really special, thank you to God and to each of you!”

Affirmation can go a long way to building a healthier group.

Remember that your participation and leadership in small groups matters more than you realize as you gather to taste and see that the Lord is good! And we LOVE seeing pictures of your groups and praying for you. Send them to hello@margaretfeinberg.com!

Go to this thoroughfare.

Find this particular chariot. 

And lurk. 

Despite the bizarre instructions, Philip does everything he’s told, as if he’s a MI5 agent (Acts 8).

He hears a foreigner in the chariot reading from Isaiah, a text regarding sheep and the long-awaited Messiah.

“Do you understand what you’re reading?” Philip asks.

“How can I unless someone explains it to me?” the eunuch responds.

Soon they’re squished in a vehicle traveling side by side on bumpy roads.

Philip can’t stop talking about the stunning details of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. The Ethiopian hangs on every word. He gets so excited, he instructs the driver to pull over and begs to get baptized!

This beautiful story stuck with me like a drippy popsicle on a summer’s day, because that’s what’s needed so much right now.

Everywhere around you are people who need to discover the good news, to see the embodiment of Christ, to dive into the wonders of Scripture.

So many of you have told me how people in your community groups or Bible studies have come to know Jesus, begged to get baptized, experienced deep healing, and fallen in love with Jesus more, simply from squishing together around a table and diving into scripture.

It doesn’t matter whose or what Bible study you use, we all have the opportunity to be part of God’s answer to the question:

“How can I unless someone explains it to me?”

Be that person this year. 

Thank you for all you do to embody Christ and introduce people to the incredible riches of Scripture. We’re grateful for you!!

P.S. Send this post to small group and church leaders, friends, and neighbors, and your pet. (Okay, maybe not your pet, unless your pet is skilled on a computer)

Even though Jesus’ name is only explicitly mentioned twice in the entire book of James, scholars note that James sounds more like Jesus than any other letter in the New Testament—even those written by Paul or John. 😮

Why does James sound so much like Jesus? It’s not just because James grew up in the same household as Jesus or splashed in the same mud puddles, it’s because James constantly draws from the teachings of Jesus.

If you take the Sermon on the Mount and overlay it with the book of James, you’ll start to think James was plagiarizing his brother—in all the BEST ways!

When we’re reading James, we must remember, in many ways, we’re really reading Jesus. This is something that I constantly highlight in the brand new James: What You Do Matters 5-Session Bible study.

🎁 I want to give you a special gift so YOU can see the parallels, too! 🎁

It makes reading and studying James so much richer. Click here to receive the FREE guide to the parallels between James and Jesus.

I hope you enjoy! And I can’t wait to see the photos of you and your friends and small groups going through the new James Bible study together this spring! We love praying for you and cheering on.

My 2023 had more than its fair share of challenges–especially when it came to staying healthy! I’ve just strung together over 80 days of health, and I’m so thankful. I’m cheering all you on who are battling for wellness.

Now a flip of the calendar isn’t a magic wand, but it provides time to reset, to refocus, to prayerfully reflect and recenter on Christ.

Last year, my word was “family” and the sweet fruit of that focus, the time with our niece and nephews, parents, and extended family, delivered such joy.

This year, my word is “clean” based on Psalm 51:10:

“Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

What do you sense the Holy Spirit nudging you toward this year?

Maybe you prefer to make New Year’s resolutions, and that’s great. I’m a wee bit worn down from one more thing to do. So for me, choosing a word gives space for the Holy Spirit to echo and work throughout the year.

If you’d like to reflect on your one word, I’ve included a free download  to help. Share it with your small group, friends, and coworkers. And know that you’re loved and prayed for today.

I’d love to hear your word for 2024. Please leave a comment–I want to read every one.

My friend Kelsey and I just spent 3 hours making a 15-second video to announce the release of James: What You Do Matters 5 Session Bible study today.

Stacking the copies of James so they didn’t collapse was harder than we imagined. But it’s all worth it to invite you (and our superpup Zoom) into the celebration! Simply click here.

I’m so grateful for you–helping name the Bible study with your brilliant ideas, praying during filming when I was so sick, and inviting others to dive deeper into God’s Word.

A million thank-yous would not be enough.

Merry Christmas!

Yet for some, the holidays are painful.

The celebrations are reminders of not just who is there… but who is not.

The gatherings are reminders of not just what you have… but what you don’t.

The moments are reminders of not just what you’ve gained… but what you’ve lost.

James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.”

While writing the James: What You Do Matters Bible study, I discovered that during James’ time, an orphan was considered anyone who lost one parent, not just two. My hunch is you have far more orphans and widows around you than you realize.

Yet you, yes you, can be someone who helps heal broken hearts this holiday season.

Here are 4 ways to be a holiday balm to the hurting.

1. Speak the person’s name. If someone you know has lost a loved one, the holidays can be particularly difficult. One of the most powerful words you can speak is the person’s name. Say, “I miss James, too.” Or “I miss Kelly, too.” The acknowledgement can mean the world. And if you have a funny story about the person or warm memory, share it. “I still remember the year Matt wore that silly reindeer hat and made us all laugh with his imitations.”

2. Deliver dinner. You don’t need to wait until an official holiday to deliver a meal. You can take one tonight or tomorrow. Ask about food allergies/preferences. If that’s too much on your calendar, pick up a gift card to their favorite restaurant. Let them have the joy of ordering a meal in.

3. Look to serve. Rather than say you’ll do anything and place the burden on the person to decide how you can help, offer several different acts of service you can provide. Shovel the driveway. Bring packages in. Offer to care for the kids for an evening. Small acts of service can be a source of great love.

4. Listen. Ask the question, “What’s it like for you this holiday season?” and then just sit and listen. Allow the person to talk, to be honest, to share…without trying to fix the other person. You may just be giving the gift that’s most needed.

Let’s love well this holiday season.

I bet it’s happened to you, too.

But there’s one gift we can give this holiday season that our loved ones long for–and (surprise), it won’t cost you a dime.

It’s the power of your words. James 3 describes that the syllables we speak can either . . .

Upgrade or degrade.

Humanize or dehumanize.

Create or annihilate.

So why not speak life? Take a few moments, grab a notecard, and write words that breathe life into someone you love.

To make it easy-peasy, all you have to do is pick 2 to 3 of the characteristics listed below and write them in your note.

The note doesn’t need to be long, just specific. So start by saying something, “I’m so grateful for you! You have so many gifts.” Then tell the person what you love about them.

#1: Generous: You’re willing to give of yourself wholly and freely.

#2: Joyful: You have a special bounce in your step and heart.

#3: Kind: Compassion pours out of you like a spring.

#4: Honest: You’re breathtakingly honest and true.

#5: Creative: You make the world a more beautiful place.

#6: Patient: You walk through tough situations with so much grace

#7: Humble: You’re always focusing on others instead of yourself.

#8: Partypants: You know how to bring life into any gathering.

#9: Other-oriented: You’re always willing to lift others up in remarkable ways.

#10: Calm: You have a contagious peace and tranquility about you.

#11: Reliable: You do what you say, which often feels like a lost art in our modern world.

#12: Tenacious: Through thick and thin, you refuse to give up or let go.

#13: Loyal: You never shrink back or walk away even when times get tough.

#14: Resilient: You can bounce back from setbacks and hardship.

#15: Adventurous: You’re always up for trying something new.

#16: Gracious: You show kindness and gratitude even when life gets messy.

#17: Grit: You hang in there when others would have given up, and it’s inspiring.

Voila! You’ll give a lot of gifts this year, but the loving words you speak will be among the longest lasting–especially among those closest to you. May you choose to speak life!

A few years ago, I wrote a book about joy where I tell the story of returning to the chemo ward for yet another brutal round of treatment. It was more than I could handle.

I swung by a local party store on our way to the infusion center. My right hand clutched a bundle of red balloons. 🎈 Intent on passing out them out, I approached the long corridor of chairs filled with infusion patients . . .

A frail woman occupied the first chair.

“My name is Margaret, and I’ve had a really difficult time in treatment. I’m in the fight of my life,” I said. “I don’t want to be here today, and I bet you don’t either. I want to give you this red balloon in hope that it would bring you joy.”

The woman smiled as she extended her arm: “I’d like that.”

Turning to the man next to her, I repeated my offer, but with a different result.

“Not now,” he said with bone-tiredness, “but thank you very much.”

I approached the woman across from him.

“I don’t need a balloon, but I do need a hug,” she preempted. 🤗

I reached down and wrapped my arms around her neck. The man who rejected my balloon cleared his throat, interrupting our moment.

“Wait,” he protested. “I didn’t know you were giving away free hugs.”

I wrapped my arms around him, too.

One by one, I shuffled my way down the row, introducing myself and handing out balloons for nearly an hour. By the time I finished giving them all away, I had been inflated with just enough courage to take my seat and face the suffering that would come. That’s when I discovered:

Joy is a gift we can offer even when we don’t possess it ourselves.

When we give it away freely, something mysterious happens: Joy multiplies.

Jesus says, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Luke 6:38).

I always thought of the container as something external we hold as we watch it being filled, pressed down, shaken, and filled up more. I never considered that we are the containers. God fills us.

One of the best ways to receive joy is to give joy.

Like me, you may not always feel like it–especially this holiday season. The day you need joy most may be the one you want to offer it the least.

Give anyway and give generously.

Take the leap.

Slip a grumpy store clerk a kind word of thanks. Give that friend who’s always down on herself a compliment. Flash a smile to strangers who seem to be having a hard day. Drop off a surprise bouquet. Send a card. Hand out a balloon. Offer a five-second hug. Then wait to see what kind of fruit these seeds of joy bear.

As you pour joy into others, joy will be poured into you.

By the way, the book I wrote was originally titled, Fight With Joy, until an editor asked, “Why are you so mad at Joy? What did she do to you?” 😂

That’s when the book and Bible study were retitled, Fight Back With Joy: Celebrate More. Regret Less. Stare Down Your Greatest Fear. 

I’m still wildly grateful for that editor.

Love you, my friend,

Margaret

Maybe your Thanksgiving gathering is perfect–no conflict, no issues, no concerns. If so, Whoohoo You! 🍗🎁

But for the rest of us, Thanksgiving can sometimes feel more like Dreadsgiving, as we try to navigate awkward moments, chasms of differing perspectives, decades of baggage and hurts, or that particular person who tends to hijack the conversation and mood with political rants.

All of this can seem like too much, especially if this is the first Thanksgiving you’re walking through since someone you loved has died.

I want to encourage you that you are not alone. Many of us feel them, too. But with some itsy, bitsy preparation, you can be ready to steer the conversation toward more life-giving topics and moments of healing.

Tactic #1: Pray, pray, and pray some more. If possible, pray for each person who will be present at the meal. Ask God to bless them, strengthen them, and fill them with joy. Ask for supernatural grace and wisdom and wit to navigate the conversation and time together.

Tactic #2: Preload with humor. One of the great redirection techniques for any uncomfortable moment is a good laugh. My friend Carolyn recently shared the antics of Siegfried and Joy with me (they’re knockoffs of the famous Las Vegas magicians, except their magic tricks are so ridiculously silly, it’s hard not to laugh).

Jump online, look for funny memes, knock knock jokes, LOL lines from a favorite comedian–anything that makes people laugh. Grab a box of kids’ popsicles and invite others to read the joke at the bottom of the stick. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn? 😂

Tactic #3: Bring some around-the-table surprises. This is much easier if you’re the host, but even if you’re not, you may be ask for permission to include them. If you know everyone around the table, consider writing a short sentence or two about each person, noting what you appreciate about them most. Keep the notes in hand for when anything feels awkward around the table to lighten the mood.

Or consider taking an idea from the Taste and See Bible Study and place a small bowl of olive oil on the table. Ask each person to take a drop on their fingers and share where they’d most like to experience healing in their lives or in our world.

Or invite everyone to participate in offering thanks through the alphabet. Go around the table beginning with A, then the next person B, and the next C, until as a group you’ve found things to be thankful for with each letter. Some will be silly and that’s part of the delight.

Tactic #4: Come with great conversation starters. Take a screen shot of this email on your phone so you can refer to some of the following:

+ What’s the best trip you’ve ever taken?

+ What’s the best book you’ve read this year?

+ What the best television show or movie you’ve seen recently?

+ What’s the number one item on your bucket list?

+ What’s your go-to winter comfort food?

+ What’s your best dance move? (bonus points for demonstrations!)

+ What’s a hidden talent you have that would surprise us?

Tactic #5: Look for every opportunity to be a peacemaker. If someone’s going on and on about a divisive or toxic topic, wait for them to take a breath and then redirect by saying, “Well, I know one topic we can all agree on–getting rid of daylight savings time!”

Or look for ways to get the person talking about themselves. For example, if the person is expounding on the topic of student loan debt forgiveness, ask them to share a favorite memory from being in school.

Tactic #6: Remember you’re a grown-up, even if others forget. If someone says something hurtful or or goes on a ridiculous rant, you don’t have to engage. You can simply say “OK” and move on. If they continue to press you, just say, “I’m already ready for dessert, anyone else?” Not engaging with the controversy will help bring the conversation to an end.

You can simply stay silent, or you can come to someone else’s rescue if they are on the receiving end by redirecting the conversation.

After the moment passes, excuse yourself to the bathroom to regather yourself if needed. Take a moment to stretch your legs, play with the family pet, refill the water pitcher, or check on the kids. Along the way, look for any standout family photos that can help transition the conversation to a lighter tone.

Tactic #7: Look for one person to build up during Thanksgiving.Prayerfully consider who God wants you to make feel seen and loved. Speak words of life and hope and blessing into them. When you look to love well this Thanksgiving, you could find yourself well-loved.

With these tactics, you can overcome the sense of Dreadsgiving and truly engage in Thanksgiving.

Know I’m praying for you and cheering you on. Don’t forget to send me your funny jokes and videos!

I love you.

Happy Thanksgiving,

P.S. Don’t forget!  Everyone who orders their James Workbooks direct from our store before December 19, 2023 will get a SIGNED copy. And we’re going to be shipping early (no later than December 3).

P.P.S. Advent starts December 3. If you want to grab a copy of Celebrate Wonder and Joy: 25 Devotions for Advent and Christmas, slip your order by Friday. It’s only $9.99 (regular 15.99).