July 3, 2023

1-ish mile round trip but lots of boulders and narrow board “bridges” to navigate so moderately challenging. Beautiful falls with a nice little swimming hole at the base.

I decided to take advantage of the 4-day July 4th holiday weekend. I did all the things I needed to do around the house and yard the first 2 days and then went camping the last 2 days!

It was just the doggie doos and me. I had a choice: not go, or go by myself. It’s hard to find people that like to camp, especially at my age. I was telling my mom about my adventure when I got back, and can I say, “God bless my mom!” She was not a fan of me adventuring on my own as a single mom with my sons 20 years ago. Today she just listened. And isn’t that what we usually need? Someone to just listen–not solve our problems, not tell us what to do… just… listen…

Camping by myself, even with dogs, requires a moment of serious consideration. I’m not going to lie. I had an incident camping in Prince William Forest Park many years ago. Our cute little dog that everyone loved went through the tent growling like a wolf going for the jugular when a strange man approached our tent in the wee hours of the morning. I’m convinced Lexi-Lou-Lou saved our lives, and I’ve been hyper-vigilant ever since.

I love camping, even by myself. I love sleeping outside and listening to the wind rustle through the trees. Everytime I hear that sound, my heartbeat slows and my soul feels peace. I love a campfire, and the solace it brings. I love not having cell phone reception–not just turning my phone off only to be able to turn it back on, but literally seeing Airplane mode which is even worse than SOS mode. I love waking up knowing my only “to dos” are making breakfast, making sure my area is clean and bear-proof, and finding the next waterfall.

For me, camping takes a bit of planning. It’s not as easy as packing a bag and locking the door behind me. I had to make sure the cat was taken care of, laundry was done for the coming week, house was secured, dogs had what they needed for the adventure, and food and supplies were purchased and packed. Nothing hard, just things that needed to be done.

The more I do this, the easier it gets, but still, I got a late start this time.

As I drove down to my destination, I was revamping my schedule in my head–OK, I’m not going to do the 3.5 mile hike I originally planned. We’ll just set up camp and go from there. I got to our campsite as the dark clouds were rolling in. I could hear thunder in the distance. Of course I knew there was a chance of rain, but this has been the threat all week–heat and humidity build up and burst into a micro-storm which may or may not be over your particular head. That day it ended up being over our heads. I got the tent set up, rain fly secured, and chuck boxes in the bear box. With a quick whistle, Bogey and Cuzco leaped into the back seat of the car just as the heavens burst open and started dumping. I saw the pile of firewood the previous camper had left just as I was diving into the car and quickly threw it under the picnic table. Better than nothing! We drove out of the campground–destination unknown as I had no cell phone coverage to figure out what was around us.

Once we had a signal, the rain was gone, blue skies appeared, and I discovered there was a waterfall not too far from us that was less than a mile hike. Perfect!

I gathered kindling, which was abundant but wet so I got to try out my latest more-sustainable purchase–Bee’s Wrap rekindle starters made from their wrap scraps. They worked perfectly under my wet kindling and let me get a roaring fire going to cook dinner–teriyaki beef, onions, and peppers on the cast iron, and quinoa and broccoli cooked on the propane stove. To use my dad’s oft-repeated line, I think bugs and berries would have tasted amazing by that point!

I was reminded that cleaning up after dinner in the dark by firelight is not optimal. I don’t always like to light a lantern because it attracts so many bugs. I’ll remember that for next time. Bogey and Cuzco are learning to enjoy the fire as much as I do. Once they realized I was just going to sit in my chair, they circled around and around to make a bed in the pea gravel, and settled in. Bogey already knows the wonders of cuddling on a bed in the tent so she was very excited when I unzipped the tent and let them both in.

Have I mentioned that I love listening to the wind rustle through the tree leaves?

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I was pondering the feigned moral outrage politicians assume when a disaster occurs, such as the recent East Palestine derailment. Moral outrage is defined as, “justifiable anger, disgust, or frustration directed towards others who violate ethical values or standards.”

The world does not need our false moral outrage. The world needs our moral courage.

When we were little, we knew the difference between right and wrong, between the truth and a lie. Choosing to do the right thing, choosing to recognize truth and not lie our way out of an awkward situation feels like it gets harder as we become adults. This is the very definition of moral courage–choosing right and truth despite the consequences.

We have the ability to change this! It starts with choosing to do the right thing, even when it’s inconsequential such as replacing the toilet paper when you empty the roll. It includes choosing to do the right thing when there are consequences such as apologizing when you forgot to file a report instead of lying to your boss about it. It especially means having moral courage when the consequences reach national and global proportions such as not lying about superfund sites or taking campaign contributions from industries in exchange for ensuring regulations are not imposed on them.

As each of us makes these choices consistently, we create a culture steeped in doing the right thing and telling the truth. There will be little tolerance or room for actions not in keeping with our morals and ethics. As we shift from a culture that lies and obfuscates for personal gain, to a culture steeped in moral courage, change will happen.

It’s what we learned from Sesame Street, “One of these things is not like the other. One of these things doesn’t belong.” Somethings we should never outgrow. You’re welcome for the ear worm!

#SUPrunWrite#wanderingpondering

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I have vivid memories from growing up in Taiwan. One of them is iconically Chinese–petite grandmothers in Malasana, a yoga squat, with a grandchild strapped to their back. As a child, that was a position I could easily hold. Up until a couple of years ago as an adult, there is no way I could go into that yoga squat, let alone hold it for hours.

A condensation bucket at the flower shop changed all that. We use five gallon paint buckets to collect the condensation coming out of our flower coolers. One of them is located under a display table. It didn’t matter how strong my arms were. I wasn’t flexible or balanced enough to maneuver under the table in that squat position to move and lift the bucket.

When we’re young, we’re sponges soaking up new information. We’re flexible and malleable, wide-eyed and open-minded, eager to learn and absorb experiences. Truth matters to little kids! Have you noticed that? As we get older, we start to form opinions with that information, and like our bodies, can become rigid and lose balance.

Inflexibility and loss of balance are not inexorable conclusions as we mature. I can now shuffle/squat under that table and move a heavy bucket of water easily. Age didn’t prevent me from doing that a few years ago. The choice to stop doing the things that kept me flexible and balanced is what prevented me.

I look up word definitions all the time to make sure I’m using them correctly, even words that I know the meaning of, like balance. Balance means “to remain upright and steady.” An upright man is honorable and honest. Have you noticed that truth matters to little kids?

Malasana, that yoga squat, is an awesome thing! It strengthens our feet and ankles–our foundation. It creates space in our spinal column–having backbone doesn’t have to come with rigidity. On a daily basis, we can choose those things that keep us flexible and balanced, open-minded and upright, in body and soul.

As we make good choices, we will be strong enough to carry and protect our grandchildren, and be the very best examples of unconditional love, truth, understanding, compassion, wisdom, for them to sponge up.

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While camping in the Smoky Mountains, we got to see a gang of elk! We caught them on a foggy morning as they munched grass in a field. They inched back towards the woods as the sun came up, moving through a homestead the park had set up to show how people farmed and lived.

The farm is home to chickens and roosters, but each morning and evening, the elk take over. It cracked me up to see chickens scurrying between elk legs. Neither the elk nor the chickens were the least bit concerned with the other’s presence.

There’s a line in the movie, “The English Patient.” I can’t remember the exact words, but the idea is, “Cartographers create maps. Politicians create borders.”

Many events since then have reminded me of this idea—people fleeing violence in Sudan and Honduras, Africans walking vast distances in search of water, and now this devastating earthquake in Turkey and Syria. Life-altering conditions, whether man-made or natural, cause humans to migrate. A map of our world defines bodies of water and land masses. Moving from a desert to a mountain, from a beach to a forest… or from a grassy field through a homestead into the woods, is an easy thing. Only man-made laws claim these things to be impossible.

Our world’s population has increased so much, there are no longer empty spaces to which humankind can migrate to escape drought, famine, and rising tides. Throughout time, necessity and innovation have caused man to change entrenched ways and thinking.This might be one of those times where we need to change, to rethink our politically drawn boundaries and the laws that dictate them.

If we are to survive as a planet, we need to have the same care for the whole of the planet as we do for ourselves. We need each other, each unique skill and access to resources.

We humans are an innovative, resourceful lot! As we let unconditional love, instead of fear and willfulness, lead our thoughts and actions, we will find solutions to aid our fellow man without bringing harm to ourselves. Afterall, I’ve seen chickens scurry safely through elk hooves!

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Sunflowers are one of our most requested flowers. “I’d like an arrangement focused on sunflowers. What would you put with it?” “Purple! Have you ever seen sunflowers paired with purple flowers? Stunning!

Yellow and purple are complementary colors; they are on opposite sides of the color wheel. With complementary colors, one is cool and the other is warm, and paired together they create simultaneous contrast making each color appear more vibrant.

It is their very opposite nature that makes them more stunning when they work together.

Each year about 42,000 women and 500 men die from breast cancer. Our country is 100% united in its fight against breast cancer. There’s another disease that caused the death of 45,222 Americans in 2020. Yet there is no unity to fight against it.

Each year more Americans die from gunshot wounds than from breast cancer. Why aren’t we as united to eliminate this cause of death as we are for breast cancer?

We are focused on our own opinions instead of focusing on a solution. There is a passage I grew up with, “We cannot fill vessels already full. They must first be emptied. Let us disrobe error. Then, when the winds of God blow, we shall not hug our tatters close about us.” (Mary Baker Eddy) We might think to ourselves, “I know the best way.” But our friend across the aisle has a totally different opinion. And there we sit, hugging our tired tatters of opinions about us, too fearful to let them go for an even more protective coat.

One view is purple. The other view is yellow. They sit on opposite sides of the wheel. Never the two shall meet? If we take our cue from nature, when the two combine their talents, even better solutions emerge. But first we must empty our vessels of our opinions and together start filling that vessel, not with tired opinions that keep us at odds, but with fresh solutions.

One truth I know, unconditional love does not leave anyone out. As unconditional love guides what we put in that vessel, not only will the solutions not leave anyone out, they will bless all mankind.

Purple and yellow are at their best when they work together!

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I’ve been thinking about the Missouri state legislature’s recent update to the dress code for women. There was a lot of backlash calling the update sexist and accusing lawmakers of being fashion police. The creator of the amendment explained they were just clarifying the already existing dress code to mirror the dress code for men.

But we are not men!

When I entered the workforce after graduating from college, power suits for women were in vogue, power suits with impossibly high spiky heels. We all wore short white socks with our white Reeboks over nylons to commute and then changed into our heels when we got to work. Or, if you were me, you roller skated to work on your spiffy new quads designed by a little guy in a basement shop across the street from Cheers, and then changed into your heels.

Memories always make me digress!

Over 30 years later we’re still talking about the glass ceiling, but back in the late 80’s it was even worse for women trying to get a toe-hold in the business world. We somehow bought into this idea that if we dressed like men and acted like men, we would be accepted and respected by men as equal peers.

But we are not men!

Woman have qualities and strengths that are unique to us that are equally needed in the business world, in politics, in international negotiations. Last June, Liz Cheney shared this to applause and chuckling at the Reagan Presidential Library, “Let me also say this to the little girls and the young women who are watching tonight: these days, for the most part, men are running the world and it is really not going that well.”

We are needed! Not as women dressed up as men and acting like men, but as women being who we uniquely are. This world needs our compassion, our grit, our peace, our determination, our perception, our inner mama-bear, our itelligence, our multi-tasking, our beauty, our strength.

To require us to wear blazers so we mirror men in look and in deed is the very antithesis of what this world needs.

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I went to Germantown Lake in Fauquier County. It’s only about thirty minutes from my house, but I had never been there. It’s the site of one of the first German settlements in Virginia and the birth place of Chief Justice John Marshall. I had no idea! I found this out when I did a quick search on whether I could launch my SUP from the boat ramp there.

It was an absolutely perfect night. The sun was starting to set as I launched. My first view as I paddled away from the dock was the sun’s long reflection on the water ending at the nose of my board. Breathe. Except for a handful of fishermen, I had the lake all to myself. I paddled north over small choppy waves, angst-powered strokes propelling me forward. I rounded a bend, and the water glassed over. Breathe.

I became aware of bird calls around me. I chuckled to myself because it reminded me of being at Disney World when you enter a ride and are surrounded by the sounds of the jungle. A train whistle sounded in the distance. I pondered why when I run I’m lost without an audio book, but when I’m on the water, all I want to hear are the sounds around me. I run because it makes me feel good on the outside. I paddle because it makes me feel good on the inside. Breathe.

I hit a patch of water covered in little bugs. I call them skimmers because as my board gets close, they all start skimming away creating a maze of zigzagging lines in the water. Industrious little buggers when they get going! I started thinking about that first group of industrious Germans landing on Virginia shores and somehow ending up in Fauquier County. There were twelve families initially. I imagined the back-breaking work of clearing land for the tobacco and wheat fields they would eventually plant and prosper from. The lake itself was on top of the original mill pond. No walking to the corner store to buy a loaf of bread. First they had to clear the field, then till, then plant, then harvest, then grind, and then finally bake. Breathe.

My mom once told me that it was important for babies and children to have alone time to figure out how to entertain themselves and be alone with their own thoughts. I smiled. Mom, you were teaching me to breathe. I imagined that those German settlers had a lot of time to be alone with their thoughts each day. I wondered if, despite the hard work, they found the same peace being outside that I found. Ironic that all of our advancements to make life easier actually force us to carve out time for hard work, sweat, and outside time away from technology, just to find balance again.

The sun was approaching the horizon so I turned my board towards the dock. I keep getting better, but a true test of my balance is still that step off my board up to the dock on pleasantly tired legs. I must admit sometimes I pull up and just sit on the dock. This time I stepped up, balance intact.

Balance. Internal stress doesn’t give us much mental room to process information calmly and rationally. Somehow we have to create the mental balance to maneuver and work with the ideas and emotions and situations that come at us. When our mental bucket becomes more full of peace than of stress, then our thoughts and words and actions come from a place of peace and create peace.

The sunlight on the water, the bird calls, the train whistle, even my angst-powered strokes that propelled me around the lake, created an open faucet of peace pouring into my mental bucket. By the time I stepped onto the dock, my mental bucket was more balanced. Truthfully the angst had been displaced, and it was mostly full of peace.

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When I was growing up, my dad used to ask me to go for a walk when he had something he wanted to share with me. As I got older, I would ask him to go for a walk when I needed his guidance or ear. It’s probably why I ponder so much when I SUP and run. During one of those walks, he told me that he hoped I never lost my sense of compassion. He felt it was one of my greatest qualities, but the world would try to convince me otherwise. I have been grateful ever since that he had the wisdom to tell me this because the world has indeed tried to convince me otherwise.

My friends have always jokingly told me, “You’re too nice,” or “You need to learn to say no,” or “You’re too trusting,” or PT’s favorite, “OK, Mary Poppins!” I know they love me, and I know they really don’t want me to change. As I read that comment, I reminded myself to cherish my good heart and compassionate nature. It does not cause me to be mistaken.

So often, we view a compassionate nature and a good heart as weakness or as qualities that cause us to be victims. In truth, the strongest people I know have been the most loving and compassionate. I had a great example in my dad, but history bears this out as well with Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Ghandi, and Mother Teresa. Love, goodness, compassion, they give us firmness and fierce strength like a mama bear teaching and protecting her cubs.

There is a Bible verse that I have come to put my own twist on. The original verse is “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” Matthew 10:16. My twist is, “I need to be as wise as the serpent so I can afford to be as harmless as the dove.” First we must be wise. That is what allows us to be compassionate and have a good heart without being weak or becoming a victim.

Most websites have this definition of wisdom: “The soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment.” (Definitions from Oxford Languages) I love Merriam-Webster’s definition though: “ability to discern inner qualities and relationships : INSIGHT.” Wisdom for me is an active knowing. It’s knowing what is true, for me, so well that anything that doesn’t jive with that knowing becomes very obvious. 2+2=4 is something I know so inherently that I can immediately let go of 2+2=5.

The other part of wisdom for me is intuition; the aspect that Merriam-Webster touches on. You might call it a gut feeling, or hair standing on the back of your neck, or that “still small voice,” or your guardian angel. We all have a way to describe that feeling that lets us know when something is right and peaceful, or when something is wrong and dangerous. The more I learn to listen to that feeling and act on it, the stronger that muscle of intuiting becomes. A mama bear is so good at sniffing danger in the wind and rounding up her cubs to protect them. Just loving her cubs is not going to protect them, but the wisdom to sense danger combined with her fierce love becomes the ultimate protection.

So does that mean, as the commenter stated, while I might have a good heart, others do not? Herein lies my wrestling. I believe that most people want good in their lives and the lives of their loved ones. It’s not such a leap to assume that wanting good in life either comes from or creates a good heart. My experience proves to me that an expectation of good brings out good in others. My experience also proves to me that realizing my fellow man wants the same good qualities (such as life, love, joy, peace, healthy and happy children) that I want allows us to find common ground.

A wild animal that is backed into a corner is going to come out fighting for survival. Are we humans really so very different? If I assume the person I’m conversing with does not have a good heart and wants things that will cause harm, that is the equivalent of me mentally backing them into a corner. The most likely outcome of this scenario is a conversation where that person comes out verbally fighting. Any hope of common ground and finding solutions flew out the window the minute pre-conceived assumptions were formed, before words were even spoken.

So after miles of paddling and running… and breathing, and mother nature reminding me with each mile of the beauty and peace and balance in our world, I finally wrestled my way to a sense of peace about that comment. Her comment wasn’t about who mankind inherently is. I suspect her comment came from pre-conceived assumptions. Her assumption just doesn’t jive with what I know and have experienced so I can let her assumptions go just like I can let go of 2+2=5.

When I first read her comment, I must admit my first thought was that I can’t wait until this election is over. Her comment put a point on the anguish I feel seeing family and friends so angry and divided, and I can’t wait for it to end. It came to me as I was writing that election day will not fix or reset anything. The fixing and the resetting doesn’t start with an election, or a win, or a loss, or a shift in the balance of power; it starts within each of us. It starts with us expecting good in everyone and reminding ourselves and re-reminding ourselves and re-re-reminding ourselves (as many times as it takes!) that each of our fellow humans truly does want the same good qualities in life that we want.

When we were five, we knew the Golden Rule to be the best way to live our lives as inherently as we know 2+2=4. Nothing has changed. “Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18

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