My Brain. My Blog.

Get To The Point

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

I'm the first to admit that I'm a huge proponent of what I like to call uniform dressing. I tend to wear the same shapes (skinny pants, bateau or v-neck tops, wrap or sheath dresses) and stick to a limited palate (black, gray, cream and some saturated, but never primary hues). This works for me even if it doesn't sound to exciting because, as a writer, I like to keep the color on the page except when it comes to my shoes. For the last few years, I've accumulated more than a few classic ballet flats in all sorts of colors with J. Crew being my go-to place to blow my shoe budget.

A couple of weeks ago I was flipping through the latest issue of InStyle magazine and read that my beloved ballet flats were making way for pointy toe flats. Whatever, but will admit to having hung on to a couple pairs of (very) pointy Delman flats that seem way too pointy even if, according to the fine editors at InStyle, pointy is back. I'm not going to chuck my round toe ballet flats, but that doesn't mean I can't make room in my closet for something slightly more to the point.

Since I'm not entirely convinced that at my age I should be jumping into a trend with both feet, I've given myself three options at three price points, but all in black.

Entry Level Tester:

I have a thing for suede shoes because they're the exact opposite of patent leather which I avoid like the plague thanks to an unfortunate Easter outfit I was forced to wear when I was 10. These suede flats from Madewell ($88) are free of bells and whistles and are a good everyday pair of shoes. They're a nice, safe shoe and I'd predict no one would notice I was wearing them. Including me.

Mid-Pricer:

While I'll never own a pair of Frye boots (they're just not my thing), I do know they make good shoes, sandals and, yes boots. While Reginas ($128) is tagged as a ballet flat, it's not the classic round toe with the ribbon and bow detail on the vamp. Instead, there's a subtle lacing up the back which makes this pair of flats worth a second look. While the leather is a bit shiny for my taste, I have a feeling they'd wear well and scuff marks would make them all the more appealing.

Seriously Committed:

I'm a grown up, a grown up who has spent a whole lot of time thinking about shoes. As such, a pair of Elizabeth and James Zolts ($265) with a seam detail on the vamp and a slightly squared off pointy toe looks very grown up to me. As I don't really need another pair of black flats, pointy or otherwise, if I am going to buy, I may as well invest in a pair that's classic with a twist. That's what grown ups do. Right?

First SweetSpots Novella JUST LIKE THAT Coming Feb '12

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 19:32:00 +0000

For a writer on a deadline there's no such thing as a vacation even (or especially when) everyone around is enjoying one. While I haven't been meeting my daily word count goals since about mid-December, I have been working on Just Like That for my new SweetSpots series of contemporary romances.

I'm really excited about this new line becaause it gives me the chance to try something new (romance! third person pov!) and I'm gearing it for e-readers (not too short, not too long) and at a friendly e-reader price ($1.49).

Just Like That: a SweetSpots Novella
(SugarMissile, Feb '12)
Leslie Quinn might have been dumped by her longtime boyfriend, but still has her sense of humor and her determination to make it as a top stylist at an exclusive Manhattan department store. Too busy dodging knives from her back stabbing co-workers, Leslie keeps her focus on doing the best job possible and going on the occasional (and unsuccessful) blind date to keep her friends off her back. When her manager offers her a last minute plum assignment, Leslie packs her bags to meet a mysterious client who is in need of a complete wardrobe overhaul. She soon realizes that this mystery man holds the key to her success at work and also to her heart.

10 Questions: Gale Martin

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:00:00 +0000

I'm happy to be a stop on Gale Martin's blog tour for her new novel Don Juan In Hankey, PA. When she asked me for a blurb, I was more than happy to delve into the juicy drama that happens both on stage and off when an opera production goes deliciously awry.

Today, Gale has been nice enough to answer 10 questions on writing and life as a writer. If you're a published author and would like to subject yourself to the 10Q treatment, send me your info.

Visit Gale's site for more info on Don In Hankey, PA, where to pick up a copy for yourself and find out where her next blog tour stop will take her.

1. Any writing rituals you have to get it going?
Every time I sit down to write, before any text hits the page, I check out the Classical Composers Database to see if there are any milestones to Tweet on my opera Twitter page (@Operatoonity) and/or opera Facebook page (Operatoonity), such as opera premieres or composer birth or dying days. Many opera lovers are based in Europe. By the time I roll out of bed at 5:30 a.m., Europeans have been up for five or six hours. I like to share something for them to chew on, to enjoy, which several followers will kindly Retweet for later risers. After that's done, I find I can get to work.

2. What’s your cure for writer’s block?
I have numerous projects going at one time. (I must have Adult Deficit Disorder undiagnosed, seriously.) If I can't get into the project I'm working on, I jump to my opera blog or my writing blog or the cozy mystery I'm writing or the suspenseful novel I've been writing and dive in. Sometimes when I'm really stumped, I go do something physical-- mow the lawn, take a walk, go to Curves--and then come back to my laptop, usually ready to work.

3. What do you tell people who ask what you do at cocktail parties and such? I say that I'm a marketing officer who used to be a teacher and that I write creatively in my spare time. Then they often ask me if I'm vying for some lofty prize like the National Book Award or Pulitzer Prize, as if I'm in that class of writers, as if that's the only reason to write, to make that grade. Or they (used to) ask whether I expect my novel to make Oprah's Book Club. "Wouldn't that be great?" they ask. Oy! Thank goodness the Oprah's Book Club obsession is now moot. I say this because there are so many other wonderful reads (thousands of them) out there that never earn those singular accolades.

4. What’s the worst part about being a writer? You're not really a writer in the estimation of others in the publishing world until someone else publishes your work. Unpublished writers belong to a low caste, a clan whose family motto is "Kick Me." Also, even if people know you're writing a book, they tend to give up on you long before you publish. It's hard for non-writers to understand how much time, life energy, and patience the whole process takes (and how little control a writer has over much of it). I've withdrawn from lots of fun things--picnics, parades, dinners--to meet writing deadlines imposed on myself, and I'm sure those choices endeared me to absolutely no one. Now that I have one of my books published, I see more parties and parades in my future. And I am really thankful to have a spouse and a few friends who all understand the ups and downs of the writing life.

5. If you could have written any book, which would it be?
I loved The Princess Bride by William Goldman. It's hilarious, dramatic, romantic, fantastic, exciting, and clever, page after page after page. I love Goldman's characterizations throughout--even minor characters such as Miracle Max and his witch are just exquisitely drawn. His genius is in the details--exquisite tangents--how Fezzik landed his first punch, the reaction of Buttercup's parents when the Count comes to visit, and all about Inigo Montoya's charmed boyhood.

6. What were you doing ten years ago? Ten years ago, I was teaching my own daughter's seventh-grade English class at a local parochial school. As I recall, I was sweating my students to turn in their Newspapers in Education features to see if any of them might have futures as journalists. Up to that time in my life, I had not written a creative word, other than comments on report cards such as, "Your child is a pleasure to have in class." Actually, most of my students were great in class. It does take some creativity to compliment badly behaved and poorly performing students. So, I owe those students a debt after all. They launched my creative writing pursuits.

7. What do you hope to be doing ten years from now besides writing? I only recently began teaching adult undergraduates in a degree completion program and discovered I really liked that whole scene. Working adults are wonderfully engaging students and make the job of teaching fulfilling. I would like to be able to do that or teach part time in a graduate creative writing program.

8. What’s your biggest anxiety about your writing/writing life?
The writing life is sedentary and solitary--not exactly life choices for zestful living and longevity. In order to be published, writers have to realize a bit of luck and find at least one entity in a position to help them advance--an ombudsman or advocate in an agent, publisher, or editor. I'm very fortunate that the publisher and other creatives at Booktrope have the same idiosyncratic sense of humor as me, that a core of talented people in a position to advance my writing career also "get" me. As a certain wise and wonderful author once said, "The most important factor in surviving, if not thriving in publishing no matter the genre, is to have someone in your corner." I certainly have felt supported and lifted up by the folks at Booktrope Publishing, almost like catching a leprechaun and stumbling onto his kettle overflowing with appreciation.

9. If you could have anyone’s job/life but your own, whose would it be?
I wish I could be an opera singer but only at curtain call. (Being a professional opera singer is too tough otherwise.) At the opera, the curtain call is a love fest. I don't understand audience members who cut out of the theater right before curtain call (and I want to scold them for doing so). Honestly, it's my favorite part of the opera, where you can lavish praise on a performer, and they openly can accept your admiration. Opera curtain calls are the most extraordinarily indulgent things, going on for multiple ovations, hauling everyone up on stage. I adore curtain calls. I'd switch places with opera singers at bows in a heartbeat!

10. What’s the biggest misconception about you now that you’re a published writer?
The greatest misconception? I wonder how many people think that the bit of success you've realized was easily won. No one knows how many words and pages you've written, how much rejection you've experienced to get to this point, how many pages and stories you threw out, how many derisive comments from contest judges, agents, and other writers you've endured en route to getting your first novel published, or how your characters invade your waking life and even your dreams. Writing may sound like a glamorous pursuit, but it can be gritty, sobering work, especially when you realize how much better you've gotten over time and how much better you have to become to be truly admired. Also, a writer's work is never done. There's always more to write about and stories to improve. There are always insights and gifts to gain from continuing to write and engaging with other writers and their work. And new things to learn, with the nature of the publishing industry changing so quickly.

List of Lessons Learned

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:14:00 +0000

I went to Starbucks today, as I usually do on Tuesdays, and noticed they'd broken out the holiday cups. As lame as it might be, I always take this "event" as a marker that yet another year is coming to a close and it's time to give a good think to what's happened between now and when the red cups last appeared.

So what's happened to me? A whole lot and, sometimes, very little. I'm going to break my year-to-date down in easy to managable chunks because this is as much for me as for anyone else.

One: Writing and Pricing

The Brenda Diaries started as a fun Twitter feed and tumblr blog for my alter-alter ego who used to be my imaginary assistant before she went to work for my husband. Now Brenda has almost 5,000 followers and a novel with another to come 2012. But first, she's getting the TV treatment. I'm working on a pilot script while keeping up with her Twitter feed.

Also, and more importantly, I've lowered the price of the ebook across the board and for all ereaders to 2.99. The print version will be out in time for the holidays for those of us who still love the look and feel of a good old fashioned book. Not sure what the list price will be, but it'll be priced to sell.

Two: Shorter is Better

I know what my next novel is going to be (see Four below), but I'm also aware that I need to maintain a steady stream of fresh content for readers to enjoy. This December I'll be releasing my second "reality meets fiction" short story and essay collection, Domestic Arts.

Once again, I'm liberally mining the lives of friends and family, but fictionalizing it enough so they'll still talk to me after it comes out. I'm not only doing this because I value their privacy and friendship--if they cut me off, there won't be a third in the series.

As I've discovered that I rather enjoy the almost instant gratification of short stories, both reading and writing them, I'm working on a sexy, smart and sassy contemporary romance series. They're going to be funny, people are going to get busy, and endings will be happy but not cheesy. My poor graphic design goddess has been instructed to come up with a cover that perfectly reflects all my vague yet specific notions and I'm looking forward to unveiling it soon along with Traveling Companions, the first in the series in early winter.

Three: Teens Today and Tomorrow

Teenagers today are incredibly sophisticated this is why writing for young adults isn't as easy as most people think. One thing teenagers don't like are phoneys and whiners and I'm guilty of being both when it comes to writing YA. I have more than two, but less than five YA ideas in various states of development. (One was almost a reality show series before I backed out after admitting to producers I just didn't have it in me to delve into that world.) And, as I take a swing of my no water, no foam, extra hot soy chai, I've decided to put up or shut up.

I've made it my goal to start and finish (then polish and publish) at YA novelette by spring 2012. To make things more interesting--at least for me--I'm posting chapters of The Fat Girl Chronicles as I write them on wattpad.

Four: The Next Novel Idea
I don't have an image for my next novel as the nut of the idea occurred to me yesterday as I was handing out Halloween candy. I'm still working it out, but I have a feeling there is enough there to carry me through a full length book. Even though I want to set a "published by" date right now, I know I can't and shouldn't be more specific than say it will definitely be out in 2012.

Writing a novel is a time consuming endeavor and there's a 100 percent more work when you're doing it all yourself. As I want to make sure the ebook and print version come out at the same time, it's going to take a lot more coordinating and favor asking to make sure it happens and the outcome is professional and polished.

Last Minute Halloween Costumes for Mom and Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:00:00 +0000

Though I will admit to going through phases, I've never been very crafty. But, as a parent, I'm sometimes forced to get creative when throwing money at a problem won't solve it. This Halloween I'm reviving a makeshift costume idea for myself and the husband that I came up with years. I had put all my effort into making the kid's costume and had to whip something up for us grownups an hour before we were due at a super hero themed party.

My super simple costume idea could run you under $5 (not counting travel time, maybe parking and so on and so forth) if you already have a couple of tees you're willing to sacrifice.

Here's what you need to make your own costumes:

Two (2) long or short sleeved Tees. One for you and one for your mate.
One (1) bottle of puff paint in a color that will show up on each of the tees.
A steady hand, and, ideally, heroic penmanship ability with a squeeze bottle.

After figuring out optimal placement for lettering (ladies, you must take the boobage into account), lay tees on a flat surface and start writing. Since a duo is never equal, the person who does all the work gets to be the Super and the guy who just shows up and puts on what you tell him to is the Side.

From left: JCrew perfect fit long-sleeved tee in Henna, $24.50.
Tulip Slick puff paint in White, $3.79 at Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft.
Gap slub waffle crew T in Navy Heather, $29.95.

Super easy with plenty of snickers and Snickers! Plus, if you pass out in a candy coma, you'll sleep in relative comfort. Happy Halloween All!

Work In Progress

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 21:00:00 +0000

I'm previewing my YA novel-in-progress over at wattpad with the goal of publishing it by early spring 2012. For right now, I'll be posting a couple of chapters a week until I'm done. Please stop by, take a look and leave a comment!That's what wattpad is all about.

The Fat Girl Chronicles by Shelby M.

Be pretty. Be popular. Be skinny. For Shelby "Bee" M. the pressure is on to be all of these things.

It's Clear the Future is Now

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 17:53:00 +0000

Very rarely has clarity hit me all at once except when it does. Sometimes it's good. Like, while in the middle of shampooing my hair, I'll figure out how to untangle a plot point or the perfect name for a character will come to me. Sometimes the obvious is a lot harder to accept even though I've had lots of time to accept it as inevitable.

Earlier this year, my editor told me I'd have more success if I self-published my fifth novel, The Brenda Diaries. We'd had many conversations lamenting how traditional publishing was changing directly under our butts. While neither of us was willing to predict what state publishing would be a year from then, it was clear that I had reached that much talked about fork in the road.

After a couple of days of moping, I came to the conclusion that I had no choice but to pick a fork. I decided to take my editor's advice and go it alone knowing full well that not only would I have to do the writing, but I'd have to see a manuscript through every step of the way--from initial idea to loading html code at midnight on publishing day.

Funny enough, almost instantly, I felt like as if a weight had been lifted off of me. It was like one of those overdue break-ups where the long, slow trek to it is actually worse than life afterwards because you realized that while you're fully broken-up, you're not broken.

I also realized that I needed help to make anything happen. Ideas are great, everyone has them, but turning an idea into a book is a whole other enchilada. As someone who hates asking for favors, this was the hardest part. But it was clear to me that if I didn't ask for help, I was going to fail. The fear of failure forced me to get over my reluctance and showed me how very lucky I am.

My dear friend Ruby saved my grammatically challenged butt by serving not only as my copy editor but general sounding board. Rocio, my talented graphic designer, didn't fire me as a client after it took almost a dozen tries to get the cover right. Thousands of strangers also played a part, following @BrendaDiaries on Twitter, and cheering her on through bad temp jobs and breakups.

I'm not sure what's going to happen, but one thing is perfectly clear to me now--I'm certainly not in this alone.

Meet Brenda

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 14:15:00 +0000

A temp with a bad attitude and an excellent work ethic.

click image to visit book site

Working assignments all around Los Angeles, Brenda was the official purse holder for a high powered event planner, has had an employer ask about her ovulation cycle, worked as a kiosk gypsy at an upscale mall and suffered as the reluctant muse for a frustrated architect who'd rather write screenplays on company time.

Off the clock, Brenda's boyfriend and best friend compete for her attention while she spends a little too much time with a guy she met on a job. Brenda’s positive she can handle it all, but sometimes work and life get to be a bit too much even for someone as organized as Brenda.

The Brenda Diaries. All the dirty details of Brenda’s not so tidy life.

Phase Five: Promotion

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 14:30:00 +0000

I was talking with a good friend the other day. He'd just finished the first draft of his novel and was exhausted. I didn't have to have the heart to tell him that his work was just beginning. So far he'd made it through one of the six steps that make a writer an author: writing, rewriting, editing, polishing, promotion and, lastly, publishing. (Followed by more promotion, but that's beside the point.)

As of this week I'm on step five and it only took me six months to get here. The Brenda Diaries will be out October 1 as an E-book, but before then I have to get the word out. So I'm putting the call out to book bloggers and reviewers who are willing to let me and Brenda take up a little of their time and space.

If you're interested in Q&A and/or taking a look at an ARC of The Brenda Diaries for review, drop me an email with your particulars. I'll make sure Brenda gets back to you as soon as possible.

I'll Read What I Want To

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 15:04:00 +0000

The husband has known me for very many years and he knows one of my favorite things to do with my time is read. It's a habit I've never hid from him even though he's never been quite supportive of it--it's rather expensive and doubly sedentary. This is why it came as a surprise to both of us when I admitted to him a tawdry truth I'd been hiding in plain sight. We were walking the dog, having some sort of debate and he brought up nugget by either the Dalai Lama or Sartre which was met by a big blank stare on my part.

"I can't believe you don't know what I'm taking about," he said.

"Just because I read a lot it doesn't mean I'm well read," I answered. It was the most honest thing I've said to him in the entirety of of our relationship.

And to prove it, I've filled my free hours this summer with a series of books I'd be reluctant to take with me to the beach. While I've enjoyed reading them, I have to admit they're lightweight and some are morbid and have even learned a thing or two. (Monaco is a principality, not a kingdom; Jackie Kennedy Onassis liked to shop; Diana, Princess of Wales, liked to shop....You get the idea.

While I won't lie about what I'm reading or have read, I have had to hedge a bit here and there. Why? There are just some books I know I'll never, EVER, read and it's not because I have such high standards (see first image below). I consider it one of the great luxuries in my life that I can read what I want if not necessarily when I want (that pesky thing called life and work get in the way).

Yes, I know I'm missing out on some truly great literature or being able to partake in cocktail chit chat (see image below top image below), but I'm willing to live with that. In the end, life's too short to wear uncomfortable underwear and read a book just because everyone else has...or claims to have read.

How I spent my summer:
So far I've read four books on the Windsor family (yes, I tend to stick to a theme or idea), and am now moving on to Hollywood and Wall Street type books. When I'm writing, I prefer to read non-fiction as I find novels too distracting.

As for the three books I won't be reading, only Eat Pray Love has gotten me the most flak. People (women) think I'm trying to make some sort of point (against them) for not wanting to pick it up. Hey, I sat through most of the movies, that should count for something.

Read and Reading...

What I won't be reading this summer or the next and the one after that and...

The Pecking Order Question

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:45:00 +0000

Dear Author Margo,
I belong to a writer's group and critiques and conversations sometimes get a tad personal if not downright nasty. There’s one person who creates all this drama and most of us are intimidated by her. She’s also a very talented writer with some important industry connections. One well liked member left the group because was a bit thin skinned. She recently signed with a big agent and her manuscript is being considered by editors. Is it too late for me to let her know I'm not a back biting bitch like the rest of the group and ask her out for coffee to celebrate her great news?

Dear Pollyanna with a Bow On Top,
This may come as a surprise, but you're as big of a bitch as the biggest bitch of the bunch bitches. Oh my god, do you feel attacked? And it just came out of nowhere! And there's no one to back you up! How unfair! I mean, you ask an innocent question and then you get singled out and judged. How rude is that?

Sorry, I take that back, you don't have enough balls to be a bitch. You're what in my Granny's day was called a toadie. You hide behind the biggest bully so that bully won't bully you. A bully isn’t much of a bully if she doesn’t have a toadie to “haha” at her mean jokes and keep her trap shut when she’s told to. What bullies, and their toadies, don't realize is that a bully spends so much time bullying they don't do much more than bully. This is why your big bitch of a bully only has a loyal group of bootlickers, like you, to kiss her ring to show for her efforts. And those industry connections of hers? She’s never, ever, going to share them with you. Ever.

I'd be surprised if the former member and now soon-to-be published author took you up on your invite. Or maybe she will. If you've gotten this far, you know as well as anyone what gluttons writers are for punishment.

Best,
Margo

Fast and Cheap: E-book Reads

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 17:02:00 +0000

The first volume of Life Observed is out now for Kindle and Nook for the grand total of .99 cents.That's a whole penny less than a dollar!

Life Observed is all about friends, family, marriage, life in Los Angeles and more than slightly fictionalized to protect the innocent, the not so innocent and me so I don't get sued. It'll be a continuing series with the next installment coming this fall.

The Get A Clue Question

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 16:08:00 +0000

Dear Author Margo,
I wrote a novel, landed an agent and signed a publishing contract...now what?

Dear Lucky Duck,
Turn to page two of your five-year business plan. What? You haven't got one? Because you didn't think you needed a business plan? Because you’re a writer?

It really doesn’t matter if you wrote your novel in the woods of Vermont, high on cough medicine in a roach infested New York City tenement or even at a picture perfect café in Paris. You did the work because you wanted that writing to be published and for people to read it. And, yes, to make some decent scratch off of your efforts. For this you need a plan to figure out what you plan to do with yourself now that you're about to be a published writer. (Really, you should have started this process a long time ago, but I have a soft spot for late bloomers.)

Start by asking yourself a few questions. Do you want to win a prestigious award in ten years or be the featured speaker at Comic-Con within the next two? Piers Morgan or Charlie Rose? Do you want to your book to excerpted in Vanity Fair or be reviewed in the New Yorker? Do you just want to pay your mortgage?

Writing, it turns out, is a lot more than just typing. Especially nowadays when a writer has to wear many hats. And when someone (your agent, editor, Charlie) asks you what's next for you, you have bar graphs and bullet points to refer them to. Just because you don't have a "real job" it doesn't mean you shouldn't think of what you do as one.

Best,
Margo

Coming Soon: Short Stories and Essays

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 15:00:00 +0000

I'm excited to announce, super officially, that I'll be putting out a collection of 10 short stories and essays for Kindle and Nook this month.

Life Observed is all about friends, family, marriage, life in Los Angeles and more slightly fictionalized to protect the innocent, the not so innocent and me so I don't get sued. I hope to make it a continuing series and release a new volume every month or so.

Life Observed will be out later this month and is the first of much to come including The Brenda Diaries in October and short stories inspired by characters from each of my four novels.

The Well is Dry Question

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 25 May 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Dear Author Margo,
I write thrillers and have published a few moderately successful novels. My last one was sloppy and if it weren't for my editor, it would have been an embarrassment. I'm supposed to be well into my next, but I find myself regurgitating the same old characters and plot lines. Worse, my editor has hinted that if this new book doesn’t rack up some decent numbers, he’s going to have to cut me loose. Part me doesn’t care while the other half is quietly freaking out. Is this it? Have I officially reached the end of my shelf life as a writer?

Dear Washed Up and Wrung Out,
Hardly! But maybe. If you hate writing, can't stand the thought of sitting down and going through the process of working on a manuscript, you might just be burnt out. It happens to writers, not just to middle managers and high powered attorneys. Creative typing can be draining especially when you’re just not feeling it. Of course, if you share your woes with a social worker, middle school teacher or public health nurse it would just come off as whining...Which it kinda does...Even to me...When I do it.

What you need is perspective and that doesn’t come cheap. You could get a real job and experience what real burn out is or you can tuck yourself away at some writer’s retreat where, eventually, napping will get so boring you’ll be salivating to get to your manuscript. Either way, you owe your editor a big fat gift card to Bed, Bath & Beyond and that manuscript. Ain't life grand?

Best,
Margo

The It's Never Enough Question

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 11 May 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Dear Margo,
I come from a long line of lawyers, doctors, academics and even a few politicians. Much to my family’s dismay, I’m a writer. My first two books garnered some positive reviews, but lackluster sales. I'm working on my third, or at least supposed to be, but I’ve come down with a major case of writer’s block. What's wrong with me?

Dear There’s Always Massage School,
There’s nothing wrong with you. It's your family who’s screwed up. Mummy and Father preside over their accomplished flock and then there’s, well, you. You with your two piddly books, an expensive MFA and not doing much typing in your parent subsidized New York apartment. How can you compare (not) writing your next book when your sister, pregnant with twins, did a double lung and heart transplant yesterday while you were watching a marathon of The Real Housewives of Orange County? You can't, so don't.

What you need is a whole new family—one with more modest standards of achievement. Your new family will be in awe of your books, respect your writing process and, if you choose correctly, won't even have access to a computer to check out your books' sales ranking.

Or you could write one of those biting novels about an über patrician type family with a spotless pedigree and reveal all their not so hidden dysfunctions. Plus, it'll have the added benefit of letting you come out as a cross-dresser by basing the main character on yourself. Yeah, like that secret wasn't out already.

Best,
Margo

A Head for Business and a Bod for Sin

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 04 May 2011 15:12:00 +0000

Looking for something (anything!) to distract me from doing what I was supposed to be doing (typing), I went through my stack of books, contemplated finally cleaning out my medicine cabinet and even doing some yard work.

Instead I went with watching a movie on the husband's iPad. When he first got it, I made fun of him for giving into the massive marketing machine that Apple is. For the first few weeks, he couldn't even get me to glance at it even while he and the kid fought over whose turn it was to use it. The most I did was yell at them to cut it out and, a few times, took it away from them.

It wasn't until I figured out I could read screenplays on it then later that I could edit my own manuscripts on it that I realized it was more than just a very fancy (and expensive) toy. What sealed my strong like for the iPad is not the iPad itself, but the fact that while the husband and the kid took over the TV to watch something to do with sharks, I was able to watch Working Girl...in bed.

I love this movie! It was one of my inspirations for Good-bye To All That (along with Mad Men and Entourage). Melanie Griffith and Joan Cusak went balls to the wall with the hair and make-up and it was funny and smart.

How could it not be when directed by Mike Nichols? Writer Kevin Wade wrote complicated women characters that were grownups, not just sexy girls in high heels. And Harrison Ford? I'd forgotten how charming he was.

Working Girl is one of my favorite movies, but I can't write while it's on. I'm too busy paying attention to the witty dialog. Watch it! It's time well spent...when you're supposed to be doing something else.

The Buying Time Question

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 14:01:00 +0000

Dear Author Margo,
The ink isn't even dry on my book contract, but my editor has already asked me what my plans are for "getting my name out there." What gives?

Dear Get on the Stick,
What gives is that your editor would like to keep her job. And maybe even be considered for a tiny raise that will allow her to afford two-ply toilet paper or at least the clout to ask if it would be at all possible to get that cubicle partition replaced—the one that was knocked over when her fellow editor got fired and decided to leave the hard way.

Let me be blunt, your book is one of many your editor and publishing house has to pay attention to. And there is only so much they will or can do. The rest is up to you. So, yeah, next time your editor asks what you’re doing to build buzz, what she’s really asking is how much more you’re willing to give because you have to be willing to give a lot. Tell her your blogging like crazy and working message boards and social media like nobody's business. This will buy you a couple of weeks before you have to figure out how to get yourself on a reality show.

Best,
Margo

Chick Authors, Respect is Not Guaranteed

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 18:37:00 +0000

I write chick lit and women’s fiction. Maybe even both, at the same time, when I’m feeling extra ambitious. Every so often, though, I’m reminded that what I do is considered rather trivial by some.

When I lived in San Francisco people assumed I wrote literary fiction or maybe quirky short stories. Now that I’m back in my native Los Angeles, folks naturally assume I’m a screenwriter. Because I’m honest and chances are that I might run into them again, I tell them the truth. I write commercial women’s fiction.

This piece of information is usually followed by that “Whahuh?” look you think only exists in broad comedies or cartoons. Then, because I’m trying to be helpful, I add that I write funny books, so they could be considered chick lit. And cue another “Whahuh?” look and me quickly changing the subject to the weather.

Once, a very literary type who I was forced to talk to at a very snooty party, actually asked if I write about chickens. I told him yes and excused myself to find the bathroom. Snooty Guy certainly wasn’t interested in hearing about chick lit and women’s fiction which is too bad for him because he could have learned something that night. Like never piss off a chick lit writer because she’ll spit in your drink when you’re not looking.

There is a difference between chick lit and women’s fiction yet they’re very much the same. The goal of each is to tell the story of a woman or women and what differs is the way that it’s told. For me, chick lit is a bit cheeky and irreverent while women’s fiction can employ a more subtle use of humor. Both explore issues like divorce, even death, but the tone is just, you know, different. Having written both, everything from how I structure my chapters to the pace of my dialog is tailored to what kind of experience I’m aiming to give the reader. And, in the end, it’s up to the publisher to slap on a pink cover or not.

I’m not going to complain about the long hard slog women’s fiction and, even more so, chick lit authors have had to endure to be taken seriously, but it’s a fact. People feel justified in dismissing women who write for women because we are women who write for women.

I’m happy to write what I write and hope people enjoy it. And next time I see Snooty Guy, I’ll ask him if he ever got his 500 page brick published and will smirk when I hear he hasn’t. But, no, I won’t freshen up his drink unless he brings up chickens again.

Reading Made Me a Writer

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 14:41:00 +0000

Recently I was asked what book made me realize that what I wanted to be a writer. While I have my favorites, the honest answer is that it wasn't just one book, but the experience of discovering that books could make a bad situation just bit more tolerable.

By the time I entered the second grade, I was a fairly proficient reader who was unlucky enough to wind up in a class of a very mean teacher. While I remember her name, what she looked like and even what kind of car she drove, I won't go into details other than to say she was a bitch. And, for whatever reason, this woman had it in for me. I didn’t make matters easier for either of us by becoming even more stubborn when I realized how much it annoyed her.

Even though seven is kind of young age to come to the conclusion that you’re on your own, it’s what I realized when the principle and my parents found fault with my behavior and not her bullying. I spent a lot of time at a single desk, separated from the rest of my classmates, doing one ditto worksheet after another, my penmanship growing steadily more illegible.

Bored, I began to read whatever I could get my hands on and I worked my way through the selection of books she kept in classroom. Every two weeks I'd check-out the maximum two books we were allowed at the school library, making sure they were thick enough to see me through until the next visit.

Around this time we were also without a TV set at home. The one we had for years had finally called it quits right before the yearly showing of The Wizard of Oz. We were upset until we found a copy of the book at a yard sale. Our parents, unnerved by all the quite, eventually got us a new set, but it was too late. We’d become dedicated readers even though we managed to catch up on all the TV we'd missed.

All the while, my dealings with my second grade teacher continued to get worse. She became pettier and I ramped up my only defense of being a difficult little snot. Of course, she was in control and started to take my books away. One day, after my mother dropped me off at the gate, I waited in the girl’s bathroom until the yard cleared and walked back home.

When my mother discovered me, hidden in the pantry with a box of Ritz crackers and a book, she marched me into the school office. The principal called my teacher in and they all had a good long chat. After that, my books were largely left alone. At the end of the school year, I cleared out my little desk and walked out without looking back.

I’ll admit to still being the occasional snot, but I’ve never stopped reading and I never will. What I learned in the second grade is as true now as it was then, a good book can get you through just about anything.

The Like Attracts Like Question

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 07:01:00 +0000

Dear Author Margo,
I’m a genre writer which means I run into a lot of the same authors at conferences where we are put on the same panels. The thing is, there are a couple of authors I just can't stand, professionally and personally, but we pretend we get along. It's getting harder to keep my opinions on them and their writing to myself. It’s taking a lot of my energy to not tell it like it is and affecting my writing. Should I just let it all out and move on?

Dear Bitter and Friendless Genre Writer,
First of all, step away from the computer. People already give us a hard time for not churning out books like Fox does bad sitcoms. If they read that writers are having social media wars, it'll make us all look like time wasting chumps who abuse blogging and twitter privileges. Nothing tickles media bottom feeders more than an old fashioned cock/cat fight between authors. They love it when authors give into hate, jealously and general annoyance.

You have two options. First one is, write successful books and choke them with your best seller dust. This way those annoying fellow genre writers will have to say nice things about you when asked by reporters, readers, editors, agents, Hollywood movie producers and their own mothers. If that seems like too much work and you just can’t hold back on the furious typing or have a release coming up, let loose with a jabby blog about how you really feel followed up by plenty of angry tweets that are just this side of ranty. It may feel dirty and nasty (because it is), but it'll get you some press. Of course, it'll get the other guys some press, too, but no one said publishing was fair.

Best,
Author Margo

Imaginary Office Makeover

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 15:30:00 +0000

I spend a whole lot time in my home office. Even when I'm not writing, I hide out in here when I want to avoid things like dealing with a leaky dishwasher, laundry, cooking, dog walking, husband tending, parenting and manuscripts that have arrived by FedEx in dire need of line edits. The one thing I can't do in my office is nap even though I have a daybed everyone raves about. For me it's a place to work and it's job is to inspire to me to type until my fingers can't type no more.

My office is not only my writing space, but also where I do yoga, read, have long chats with friends, hash out ideas and it doubles as house guest quarters. The husband, being very resourceful, has turned the small walk-in closet where I store most of my books into a server room so everything that's electronic (like the printer/fax/scanner and all sorts of blinking boxes and wires) is tucked away and out of sight. Even with these small upgrades, lately, I've been very blah about my office.

I redid it in January of 2008 when I was supposed to be focusing on getting Good-bye To All That done and turned into my editor. I was under a lot of stress and it seemed totally reasonable to pile on some more by tearing my office apart. I ended up with a look I like to call French Sanitarium. It's very spare, utilitarian and quiet, but still kind of feminine without being alienating to those with penises.

Now I want something a little different or maybe a lot different which is why I asked for help in re-imagining what direction my office decor should go in. I did up one and my sister the other and it's pretty obvious who is responsible for what scheme.

Still Spare:

Paint Chips: Ralph Lauren Urban Loft series in Hazel Woods and Studio White

Side Table: West Elm, Martini in Silver. Sofa: West Elm, Sutton in faux suede Bone, Pindot.

Floor Lamp: West Elm, Adjustable Metal with a White shade. Desk: CB2, Laird in Walnut.

Chair: DWR, 1006 Navy® in Brushed metal and Walnut. Storage Unit: DWR, Eames® 4x2.

Wall Clock: CB2, Quttin' Time in Yellow and Matte White.

I have a big issue with knick-knacks. As in my issue with them is I hate them. I will never start a snow globe collection or display keepsakes in artful piles on my desk. If anything, it annoys me that there has to be something as messy as a computer keyboard, mouse and monitor on my work surface (this is when I wish I could type on a laptop). Since this is my fantasy, I'm going to pretend it would be totally possible write my books on a typewriter and stay connected with the outside world through a bright red rotary phone. I'd also dress up to go to work in this place. I'd wear shirtwaist dresses, cute mid-heel shoes and even a hat, but only if I'd been to the hairdresser the day before.

The total cost for all this look is a bit more than $5,000 with the bookshelf being the priciest ($2,999) and the kicky clock pulling up the rear ($79.95). And yes, I know that chair is so not ergonomic, especially not for the amount of time I'd spend sitting in it, but it's not like I have the finger and wrist strength for the manual typewriter either.

Fun and Funky:

Rug: Dwell Studio, Facet in Cream/Citrine. Shelves: Ballard Design. Ceiling Lamp: Nelson Bubble Lamp.
Task Chair: RTA 18511 in Pink. Book Case: The Container Store, Sapien in Steel.

Desk: Parsons style in White. Desk Lamp: Giraffe lamp in White. Chairs: 1stDibs,

mid-century modern antiques. Side Table: Room and Board, Saarinen in White.

Radio: Tivoli, Model One in White and Yellow.

When I asked my sister what she would do with my office, it only took her about half an hour to send me over this image. Her take is cheerful and full of pops of color and just enough my style that, if this were to happen to my office by magic, I could totally deal with it. She also included the stuff I need and want, but would like to think I can do with out. I do listen to the radio and watch movies while I work and I'm forever digging through my closet for a reference book or two. She also threw in a color printer, a laptop and a stack of stickies (thereby outing my stickie addiction). She also included a bright rotary phone, in yellow, but it's a wall unit so I'd be forced to stand up to answer it. Clever girl. It seems my sister knows me better than I know myself.

As for what I'd wear, I'd never dream of defiling this look by writing in yoga gear (as I am right now). I go the easy route and dress out of the Boden catalog because they make happy clothes and this would be a happy office.

Who knows, this office might take my career in a whole new direction. Happy endings for everyone! That kind and the other kind, too! Her estimated cost is about $4,000 and she'd keep my current wall color. At least I have that going for me.

The No, Really Question

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Dear Author Margo,
Whenever I tell people I’m an author, they don’t believe me. What can I do to prove it to them without seeming desperate?

Dear Big Chip on Your Shoulder,
I know where you’re coming from, Chip. You spend all this time and money at your local Starbucks, pecking away at your laptop and none of the staff have figured out you’re there not just for the free Wi-Fi, discounted coffee refills and ambiance. You, published author, are hogging the one good table because you’re on official business, literary business.

The unfortunate truth is that writers get very little respect. Unless, that is, you’re Aaron Sorkin and he’s only cool because he had a cameo on 30 Rock talking about how writers get very little respect. Short of wearing a T-shirt that reads “Published Author,” which would be tacky, you could carry around a copy of your novel in your backpack. But, you’re right, that’s demeaning. You don’t go around asking accountants to prove they’re accountants. You take people at their word and those same people should just accept, if not be impressed by, the fact that your job is so much more special than theirs.

The solution to your problem is obvious. You have to write your way into landing a cameo on 30 Rock. Aaron Sorkin did it so it’s obviously not impossible. Then, once your episode airs, everyone who has ever questioned what you do with your time will feel really stupid.

Best,
Author Margo

This Week on My Two Other Blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 14:38:00 +0000

Along for the Ride read it and more over at...

The Real Reality Question read it and more over at...

The Real Reality Question

noreply@blogger.com (Margo Candela) — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Dear Author Margo,
I’m getting my MFA through an exclusive program, but I’ve never felt less creative or inspired in my life. I refuse to perform like the rest of my classmates for scrapes of attention or hollow praise from professors who clearly have their favorites. I came here to write, not brown-nose and that’s what everyone else seems to be majoring in instead of writing. Are MFAs a colossal waste of time and money?

Dear Phailing at the Phony Ponying,
I’ve never seen much value in continuing education beyond the basics unless you’re in a specialized field like brain surgery. And, no, writing is not brain surgery even if you happen to be writing about brain surgery. An exclusive and insular environment of a MFA program may bring out the best in some, but mostly it’s just a hotbed of networking, backstabbing and indiscriminate sleeping around.

Writing is a craft, a trade even, that you only get better at by doing. If you have any aptitude for it, you will become a better writer with or without an MFA program. You can fake people skills, but you can’t fake talent or a talent for networking. Your fellow dogs and ponies are nurturing relationships and establishing contacts that might lead to opportunities that will whisk them off the Banana Republic sales floor before they’re 30ish. You might be a better writer than your peers, but they’re getting invited to parties at your professor’s house.

Sure, you won’t be getting that internship at The New Yorker because your adviser thinks you’re a snot, but at least you have your integrity. By the way, do you know the difference between a cappuccino, macchiato and a breve? Good. Skills like that will come in handy in your post-MFA life.

Best,
Author Margo